#and i can't invite anyone over because the house is a shitshow

[faggling]

Might have to kill us because our avolition and anhedonia is so fucking bad and I can't get us grounded at all and I can't feel or think clearly and our laptop decided to take away mic and camera access and I don't have cell service to call in so we can't do therapy today and my gf just said we might owe $1000 we don't have to the government because they fucked up and I'm going to be alone here until tomorrow night and reaching out to anyone won't actually fix anything and I'm so tired of this

[skarletterambles]

On today's episode of "I could reblog that and add my thoughts, but that might invite drama nobody (including me) asked for, so I'll just make a new post over here"...

The OP I decided not to bother said this:

(It has the same energy as "I'm not prejudiced, but...")

"Undeniable," huh? Hold my beer.

If your parents are abusive or toxic, I'm sure that statement is true. You can't heal from trauma that's ongoing any more than you can heal a scubbed knee if you keep dragging it across the sidewalk.

It sucks that anyone has to deal with living in a toxic environment, crappy parents, etc. I sincerely hope things get better soon for everyone in that situation.

But not everyone is in that situation.

I admit my kneejerk reaction was something along the lines of, "You don't know me and my situation so how dare you make assumptions and then judge me based on them." But of course I don't know OP or the commenters, either. I imagine the original was a quick vent post that wasn't meant to be a blanket statement, nor to spread and attract drama. The comments still turned into a shitshow that I didn't want to stir in; thus my own post.

In what shouldn't be news to anyone, everyone is a different person, living in a different situation with different family, with different history and culture, in a different socioeconomic stratum, and with different physical and mental health conditions, and therefore what is wonderful for one person is hell for another and vice versa. Or to shorten it to a meme: your experience is not universal.

Personally, I live with my parents because the choice is literally that or homelessness. Period. I'm fine with it, honestly, and consider myself lucky to have this option.

When I'm not at work or occasionally out with a friend, I want to just be quiet at home, which jives well with two 70-something retirees. I'm aro/ace so there's no awkward romance to work around. I'm an only child so there are no siblings to complicate the situation.

I have a great relationship with my mom. I used to with my dad, as well, but personality changes after his stroke have made it harder. I still love him, though. As they both age and deal with chronic health issues, I'm glad I'm here and able to help. It was the same when my grandmother lived the last twenty-odd years of her life with us, too.

I can only work part-time due to a medically documented disability, so I cannot afford to live on my own. (Hell, a lot of people with multiple jobs or full-time jobs can't afford that these days, either.) No one in my extended family is well off, and we try to help each other whenever possible. Any extra support my parents could give is already tied up keeping another family member from ending up on the street--which I'm glad they can do! We're all in this together. (For the record, I buy all my own stuff plus contribute to the grocery budget for the household, and I pay some of the household bills as well as my personal ones.)

I would absolutely love more alone time, but I wouldn't want to go days at the time without seeing family, either. Ideally I'd like to live next door, or in a detached guest house, so I could choose how much time I spend with my parents and still have a place that was all mine. I'd love to pick how to organize cupboards, how to decorate, etc. I get to do some of that already, but having a place be truly mine would be great. These are not huge issues that keep me awake at night, though.

I interact with a lot of unhoused persons at my job in a public library, and I'm frequently reminded of how much privilege I have. I have a reliable roof over my head with heating/air-conditioning, laundry, a kitchen, hot and cold running water that is safe to drink, a good winter coat, food to eat, etc. I live in an area that has a relatively low crime rate, and is nowhere near a war zone. I do not experience racism, transphobia, or homophobia. I have not been touched by a natural disaster.

Nobody's life is perfect. Some are better than mine. Lots are worse.

What is true for OP isn't true for me. What is true for me isn't true for OP. What is true for either of us isn't true for a hypothetical third person. I'm not trying to slam a gavel down and scream "YOU'RE WRONG!" at OP or those who agree with them. I just had thoughts to unload about the nuances. Which I did.

So now I'll shut up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯