#and i can't even tell anyone irl what's going on because then ill be judged and mocked and insulted and dismissed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

holly-mckenzie · 3 years ago

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I binge watched all of bump and its so good!!! I found you via the tag cause like nobody is talking about it and they should be cause its awesome!!! Reading your s2 post, I had some thoughts. Like I'm in no way making excuses and it might just be poor writing but... some of the bits that were a bit weird I'd picked up on too at first and then thought back to when I was 16/17 at college and the friendships/relationships I had then and some of them seemed less weird??

So lachie just disappearing- I could totally see that happening. He's obviously going through some stuff and trying to figure out who he is and for a 16 ish Yr old I could totally see how olys whole thing could have messed him up and made him not want to see her. (Yeah it's about her and she's the one with the big change and stuff but from his perspective, he's not a adult! He isn't looking at this logically! He has his life sorted, happy in his relationship all that, then his girlfriend is taken really really ill suddenly one day, he doesn't know if she's OK, then she's got a baby!! Everyone thinks it's his and is judging him while he knows it isn't and she's obviously cheated on him and it's being literally rubbed in his face constantly. Then he finds out its someone who she's acted like she didn't even like all this time and they are getting all cosy (as they have a child together, reasonable, but in his eyes!!) And he's thinking who even is this girl??? Yet he still sticks by her and doesn't make a big scene and be like!!! It's not my baby!!! And then he's probably feeling a bit abandoned, oly was his best friend too and he can't speak to her as she's busy with a baby, busy with the babys dad and is maybe?? Still his girlfriend and he's having doubts about his sexuality and can't tell anyone. Obviously he dealt with it awfully but it was in a very 16 year old way tbh.

Then reema and Vince going from hating each other to having some crush thing going on- standard tbh for their age lol. I definitely did shit like that and them saying contradictory things, again standard. Her being awful to him, sorry but standard. Maybe me and my friends where just awful people as teenagers but honestly, no part of that seemed strange to me, it's a time where you are figuring yourself out and you really do swing between saying awful things and trying to be compassionate.

I get what you are saying with the Muslim non Muslim thing but honestly I don't feel in this situation its uncalled for? I've known a lot of Muslim non Muslim couples irl esp when the Muslim half of the couple is from a family where you 'practice your religion in your own way' and where the community they live in is mixed. Sometimes the non Muslim converts and sometimes they don't, with the fasting thing (lol) and a few other Nods towards it, I wouldn't be surprised if there's the possibility of Vince converting? At their age, I was actually in a relationship where my boyfriends family where all Muslim (he was atheist at the time but I was always open to the possibility of him changing his mind and becoming more religious as I'd been at varying points agnostic/ very religious/ atheist/ agnostic in a seperate religion so I got that it's something you could change your mind about) and honestly there was way less of a culture clash than media tends to make out??? When you've grown up in a multi cultural community you just kind of adapt to being in different situations and it's not that big a thing. Sure there are occasionally misunderstandings like the whole fasting thing in bump lol but I identify a lot more with how different cultures interact in bump than the big clashes I've grown to expect in other media. As in most families, my ex's family and friends all sat somewhere along the scale of not religious to very religious. I never met anyone who was openly uncomfortable with me not being Muslim because honestly had they been that against mixed cultures they wouldn't have been at the events I was at as they probably would have taken offence at my ex's and others lack of practicing before they even got a chance to meet me. I know that there where members of his family who where more strict but we didn't come in to contact as they had remained in their home country/ settled in less mixed communities because they preferred being in less mixed situations?

Considering reema is the child of a mixed relationship I don't think it's unusual at all that she might end up in one herself and considering her age i don't think it's unusual that she would have doubts about where her boundaries with mixed religious relationships lie. To me this is quite a understandable and realistic storyline? What we've seen so far of Vinces attitude towards her religion makes me think it would continue to be dealt with quite sensitively as a storyline.

The scenes with Oly at Santi's house eating dinner while everyone talks Spanish 100% gave me flashbacks lol As well as her discomfort with Santi being used to his stepmum/grandmother doing all the housework (and like she wants to help but also not be seen as helping just because she's a woman and so is trying to help whilst getting Santi to help with her, but he's less than helpful as he just isn't used to needing to be present for the prep side of mealtimes) definite flashbacks and a realistic showing of a culture clash that I've definitely felt. The kids bafflement at the food she'd prepared as well lol

I also love that they show how vince and santi have obviously grown up in really child orientated cultures and so instinctively know certain things and that having grown up in what is obviously a very nuclear family type, oly struggles to understand this. Having grown up in a very big child orientated, it takes a village, kind of family but in a place where that isn't very common, I've definitely felt the other side from Oly where my friends can't understand that it's quite easy for me to adapt to their child's presence and not find it disruptive and know how to care for kids without having my own so I liked that portrayal of Vince and santi already having this skillset without being taught

Also others reactions to men knowing/ being interested in the more practical side of child rearing (calming a baby, nappy changes, childbirth) was something that I've definitely recognised in my own life having a family where its very normal for men to do these things be 'good with kids' in a practical way not just a 'good at being there for the fun bits' but growing up to find that outside of my family this is seen as unusual

I really felt for Santi that he wasn't being automatically included and obviously wanted to spend time with J while Oly was making this assumption that he didn't want to/ wouldn't be able to look after her

I really felt for him when he finally gets to look after J himself and finds it difficult to cope and needs Olys help (which is difficult on oly as well who'd really benefit from support Santi is able and willing to give) because he hadn't been able to learn it from the start. At this point J is so reliant on oly that he struggles to calm her/ feed her without oly despite fatherhood coming to him innately in a way motherhood hadn't to oly (in no way anything against oly, I felt it was a show of oly being self defeating because of the culture she's grown up in. She's so annoyed that these patriarchal expectations have been thrust upon her that she can't see the wood for the trees and realise that actually J has a father who definitely does not expect her to have to do this all by herself. She clearly loves J so much and yet feels held back by motherhood when in reality, she really doesn't need to take that all on, Santi is clearly happy to take on the legwork so she can live her life and have the career and all but she expects him to act like her own father and so doesn't even give him a chance and then when she finally let's him take on a bit more responsibility, at that point she is the more capable parent with all her mums lessons and handholding and baby j being used to oly always being there. Because oly's been struggling on herself up until that point unnecessarily, that when she does hand over the reigns for a moment, baby j is so reliant on her (not taking a bottle, being reliant on there being a grandparent at the ready to hand her off to, that santi needs oly there to calm her)) This part in particular just made it feel so real, its such a human thing to let your preconceptions, even one's you don't agree with, become these self fulfilling prophesies. From the start, when she wanted to put baby J up for adoption, I truly believe that Santi would have raised baby j himself, but although she doesn't agree with it, oly has this preconception that no father would do that, so she doesn't even tell him he's got a kid!

That is a part that I wish they'd gone in to more deeply actually, santi obviously believed baby j was his, but they didn't show any conversation where that was confirmed. He's obviously convinced but nobody is like hey, slow down a bit (i mean vince is like yeah the timings match but that's not confirmation but other than that) I would have liked it to show a tiny bit of doubt I guess, like he goes to the house sees the baby and has a conversation with someone like no, the baby looks just like my mum, i definitely know. Why does the grandma have no doubt??? She's just immediately oh the train of 'i have a new grandchild even if the childs mother doesn't agree he's the dad lol' And I know oly has said to her parents that he's the dad but like her parents aren't even like, are you sure? And her mum is clearly not morally OK with not telling him, she should have tried to convince oly of the moral necessity of telling someone they have a child at least once right? I just feel a few steps where missed. Like it goes from santi believing the baby is his, to admiting to his grandma he thinks its his, to them just turning up like hey can we see the new member of our family and olys family just being like 'Well shucks, guess these two know' they needed to be like ok well santi thinks its his, oly agrees, yeah it's his kid. And then like just from him soothing the baby in class everyone suddenly thinks it's his??? Even his dad?? Even though nobody has even seen oly and santi talk??? What's with that? I get there being rumors but like they where acting like it was straight up confirmed after like an hour. Clearly dna paternity tests are not relevant in any of these ppls lives??? (I won't lie this bit particularly annoyed me cause I was born to a somewhat simular situation, my parents had a fling, my mum knew i was my dad's and told her family so they knew but his didn't. My dad saw me and instantly knew I was his as I looked like every baby in his family and from that point he knew he needed to be in my life properly. So I can forgive the lack of dna test but The difference being, people definitely have doubts in these situations lol. Why did nobody raise the possibility. Plus for it to happen, someone kind of needs to fuck up. In my situation my dad was the fuck up cause he didn't believe my mum at first till he caved and saw me. I can believe oly not telling him because of her preconceptions, so that's the fuck up right but why did nobody tell oly she was wrong?? Like my dad's fuck up was 100% solved cause everyone around him was like hey what the fuck is wrong with you. Ppl should have been like hey oly, you need to fucking tell this dude he's got a kid. And yeah she's traumatised it's really sudden so maybe they didn't want to upset her. But they could still have the convo behind her back? Discuss it with her after the fact?

Also after the birth why does nobody offer oly therapy. That was a awful thing to happen out of the blue. Why does nobody check that it was consensual.

In s2 I was like wow they are really playing out the whole constantly having sex thing but then I remembered being 16/17 and the first year of a relationship and yep, believable lol

I found the acceptance of her taking J in to school pretty weird but it does seem to be a really small school???

Jacinda being a cringy name, yep but oly is 16 lol so standard and Santi doesn't really have the option of kicking off about it (that would have gone terribly and he wouldn't have been able to see J) plus it's not like he's had any time to prepare, he probably has no opinion on names

Okay

#Asks #anon

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