#and i can truly establish myself as the fun cousin aunt

[sincerelyreidburke]

please tell me more about boy scout dex

My friend, let me firstly apologize because I know I did sit on your ask for a little while. I think it’s been a month (?) since I posted that original random text-post about Boy Scout Dex, but as I mentioned in this brief PSA, I haven’t forgotten about him. I come to you today with a bullet-list!

As an FYI, I am definitely going to write actual prose fic about this in the future, so stay tuned. For now: let’s talk about Dex’s Boy Scout backstory.

- The first thing we should establish is that this is in the CCU. If you don’t know what the CCU is, it’s just my understanding of the canon universe. CCU stands for Cromwell Cinematic Universe, named for a stuffed lobster Dex has named Cromwell. Given that canon has never directly contradicted the idea of Dex having a stuffed lobster, I elect that this is the closest I’ll come to being canon-compliant. Prove me wrong. :D

- Anyway, the CCU is a series on ao3; you can read it here. Boy Scout Dex is simply another part of Dex’s colorful history.

- It’s really not that colorful, actually. I mean, he’s Dex. He comes to college afraid of baking.

- Anyway. Let’s talk, shall we? (This is going to get long, so under the cut we go.)

- In the CCU, Dex lives in Bar Harbor, which is one of Maine’s more famous towns, tucked into the east side of Mount Desert Island, which is just off the coast, and is the largest island in Maine. This is not a geography lesson, but since we’re here, here’s a visual. The little marked location is MDI, and then Samwell would be in the center-left bottom of the map.

- Anyways, with that digression aside, I’m bringing up Dex’s hometown/home island for two reasons: one, because I went and looked it up, and there is a Boy Scout troop there (Troop 89, though I was prepared to invent one if there wasn’t one on-island), and two, because the natural world around the island will become important later for Scout reasons.

- In order to proceed, let me introduce you to a few members of the CCU Poindexter-family expanded universe. MDI isn’t so small that everybody on the island knows everybody— the population is 10,000, which is just around the same as my own hometown, and I definitely don’t know everybody here. But what is true about my hometown is that there are certain families who have prominent roles in the community, and I would absolutely say that the Poindexter family is well-known on the island.

- They’re a very blue-collar, Irish Catholic, patriotic American family. Dex has cousins, aunts, uncles, and extended relatives galore. Dex’s uncles are notable enough in canon for him to mention them multiple times; in the CCU, he has 6 uncles on his pa’s side and another 3 on his ma’s. We’ll focus mostly on the Poindexter side for the purposes of Scout Dex.

- I have a feeling that the 7 Poindexter brothers (aka Pa and the 6 uncles) were probably all involved in one way or another with Scouts or at least some other community-building activity as kids. The one who rose to the top was Uncle Ronny, who is now the Scout Master for the troop on the island.

- Yes, I learned a copious amount of Boy Scout terms to make this post.

- Anyway, Uncle Ronny is a carpenter by day, and he takes the scouting stuff seriously; he sees it as a sort of civic duty. He has one son and three daughters (the female Poindexter cousins probably do Girl Scouts, but that’s a discussion for another time), and all his kids participate.

- Dex’s Pa, Will Sr., definitely also was super into this growing up. (In the historical AU I’m writing, Pa was in the Navy, and I cry every day thinking about how he can’t be in it in the CCU. This, as well as his general nautical lifestyle, is my consolation to myself.)

- Okay, so what do they actually do?

- Dex and his cousins grow up in the program. I feel like tiny redheads make up a solid fifty percent of the MDI Cub Scout troop in the late 90s and early 2000s. Dex is extremely outdoorsy even from a young age, and he loves Scouting, through and through— from the camps in the summer to earning badges and working his way up in ranks to even just spending time with his cousins. Cub Scout-era Dex sort of comes before all the repression, self-deprecation, and regression into the hardened, temperamental person he shows up at Samwell as. So in other words, Cub Scout Dex is a generally happy kid.

- Cub Scouts are from around kindergarten to fourth grade, or ages 5-10. Once you’re about 10 and a half, you move to general Boy Scouting, aaaaand this is where the fun begins, because in my research, I discovered…

- Sea Scouting.

- Sea Scouting is essentially a subdivision of the general Boy Scout program, and it’s exactly what it sounds like: Boy Scouts but with more nautical themes. Look… you guys… they wear fucking sailor suits… I’m physically deceased… I don’t think you understand how much I need this in Dex’s life.

- Has you or a loved one ever thought, hey, Mel, (that’s yours truly), do you by any chance have a thing about sailor suits? You may be entitled to the knowledge that you’re right… 

- Pretty much every Poindexter who did Boy Scouts was also involved in the Sea Scout program. Why? Uhhhhh… they live on the ocean and have a fishery and also just think about all that sweet sweet oceanic Dex symbolism—

- Right, okay, so things that are important to Dex during his time as a Scout: oceanic conservation, also conservation on land because Acadia National Park is right on MDI, boating safety, actual sailing. Fun fact: they have sailing competitions.

- Through the entirety of his Scouting life, Dex is really close with Uncle Ronny. He’s one of probably three cousins who are the most active in the program, and I’m jumping the gun a little on myself here, but he definitely does get Quartermaster. This is the highest rank you can get in the program, and it’s taken very seriously by everyone involved. It’s the Sea Scouting equivalent of Eagle Scout, which is probably much more familiar to most of you.

- Uncle Ronny is his go-to uncle for all things Scouting and also probably all things outdoorsy.

- Some time later, when Dex comes out to his family, Uncle Ronny will take it very, very hard. Although other uncles will come around, his relationship with Ronny will never really recover.

- Anyway! We are not going down that road at this moment in time. Let’s move on.

- By the way, the entire troop is definitely really closely tied with the island’s Catholic church. They very likely wear religious emblems on their uniforms. There’s a lot about God in the general guidelines of being a Boy Scout, and the troop is all over this. Because New England Irish Catholics.

- Okay, Dex gets Quartermaster. It’s the highest honor a Sea Scout can have. The core tenets/skills, fun fact, include: swimming, safety, marlinspike seamanship (???), boat handling, ground tackle, navigation, weather, and environment. He’d be getting this right around the same time he’s graduating high school. To get Quartermaster, you have to physically take control of a boat for like 40 hours, with other Scouts as witness. That is super badass.

- Also, I need you guys to see these uniforms. If someone drew Dex in this, I’d die.

- This is getting so long; I’m so sorry. Okay, some other time, remind me to talk about Dex’s internal struggle in response to the Boy Scouts homosexuality controversy. (I won’t go super into this right now, but essentially, until recently, gay men couldn’t be troop leaders. Gay youth membership has also been… generally discouraged, without being directly prohibited. There’s a lot to unpack there.)

- But, y’know! Poindexter family tradition, right???

- Aside from all the nautical skills, Dex’s Scout background translates to this at Samwell: he’s always prepared. The Boy Scout motto is literally Be Prepared. I think it’s easy to see, from all our canon knowledge of Dex, how this kind of background could factor into his character.

- I mean, the boy is constantly volunteering himself to fix things.

- Okay!!!! At the risk of making my longest text post ever, I will stop here for now. But please know: my ask box is open. There will be fic about this, and probably more of these bullet-list text posts. Ask or send me anything you’d like.

Thank you very much for the ask, and thank you for your patience while I put this together!

[bonesologyforum]

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

I've really been having mixed feelings about tonight’s Bones finale. I mean, think about it. For twelve years or so, I've faithfully settled in front of my television to follow the continuing adventures of Booth, Brennan and their team of misfit toys. I've rearranged date nights, drinks with friends, telephone calls and work schedules so that I would not miss an episode. I had a streak of 199 episodes viewed live before my son’s Christmas program blew that out of the water. (Some things just don’t rank below even Bones.) Basically, this show has been a huge part of my life since the day it premiered on September 13, 2005. I've given birth, welcomed a sister-in-law, lost a mother-in-law, lost a teenage cousin and my favorite aunt, quit my job, established one fan board, left that board and started this one, had my heart broken by someone I genuinely loved, made friends with the best group of women I've ever known, and managed to stay married to a pretty tolerant guy that whole time.

It’s safe to say that since Bones came into it, my life has changed in many ways. And so, it’s bittersweet to have to say goodbye to this show and this cast and, in a way, this fandom. Yes, we are going to leave the board up and running and we will continue our re-watch series, but eventually the posts will stop and the visits and views will stop and Bonesology will be nothing more than an archive for our mutual obsession. Don’t get me wrong, it will be a wonderful archive, filled with love and friendship and fights and make-ups and tears and happiness and fun and Bones. Always Bones. But we’ll find new shows to obsess about, new series to talk with friends about and we’ll all move on. (Don’t you hate that phrase? I know I do.)

So, it seems like the only thing left to do is to thank everyone who enabled made this crazy obsession possible, starting with the obvious.

To David, Emily, TJ, Michaela, Tamara, John, Patricia, John, Eric, Ryan and every single squintern imaginable…there is no way I can every truly express how grateful I am for all the hard work, dedication, love, laughter and tears you’ve put into the twelve seasons of my all-time favorite show. I know we’re all sad that Bones is ending, but for me the good memories of fantastic episodes and scenes and characters and single lines and the appreciation for what we’ve been given will always overshadow the sadness at the finish. Always. And this cast is the reason why. So again…thank you. Sincerely.

To Hart Hanson, Stephen Nathan and Kathy Reichs…it’s safe to say that without the three of you, we would not be here ready to say goodbye. Your imagination and faith and genius have carried us through a dozen seasons of the most fun television we’ve ever watched, and I for one am so grateful. Thank you all.

To the admins and moderators here at Bonesology…. including the two who helped me start this place, BrainySmurf and DME82. One, of course, is no longer involved here and the other has drifted away to real life but remains one of my most beloved friends. I will be forever in their debt for their support. Among the various moderators we’ve had over the years (including Skole and Rankor01, who ended up meeting and getting married!), I need to thank all the current group, Frankie707, someone1tookmyname, Angiebc, Stayuff, thevaliumsofa, PolamaluGirl, CarlaM2190, squinttoyou, and Laffers18…you’ve all become real life friends and I feel like I should pat myself on the back for picking you to help run things here. You’re loyal, steadfast, brilliant and just the best kind of people and I am genuinely and completely grateful for everything you’ve done for me and Bonesology. And last but definitely not least, to my co-admin, Rynogeny. I don’t think anyone would argue when I say that you, my verbose friend, are the biggest and best Bones fan there ever was or ever will be. We all stand in awe of your insight and attention to detail and absolute dedication to Bones and all its fans. And on a personal note, there is no possible way Bonesology happens on a daily basis without you and even if you weren’t one of the best people on the planet I would love you for that fact alone. Thank you to every single one of you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you guys.

And finally, thanks to all of you, the fans, our amazing Bonesology members. We didn’t always agree on everything (Ha!) and I know that you all wanted to punch me in the face at one time or another, but you stuck with us and you embraced what we were trying to do here and I just don’t have the words to express what that means to me. You, above everything else, are the reason we started this board and you’re the reason it stayed afloat and honestly? I’ve run out of words to express my feelings for each and every single one of you. Just…thank you. Truly.

For the six years and four months this board has existed, you’ve all allowed me to hang out with you while you’ve laughed, cried, screamed, begged, hoped, prayed, cursed and celebrated the amazing show we’ve all come to love. I am honored to have lived this obsession with you, and I will miss the shared excitement of new seasons, episodes and story lines but most of all, I will miss all of you. Thank you for letting me be your Head Bitch in Charge. It’s been my privilege.

~NatesMama   3/28/2017

[bruisedpeachx-blog]

I appreciate myself. That is how I heal.

“The most important

moments come from bravery.

Quietly conquering the voice 

in your head that says,

‘you can’t, you won’t,

and you never will.’

- Alison Malee

The last two days have been so difficult that I haven’t been able to write. The last two days made me feel like the world was ending, and like there wasn’t going to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I spent my first day off at home, not doing much of anything except catching up with people at home in Canada. The apology that I offered to my ex from two years ago actually turned into a really lovely conversation. It turned into support, catching up, and exchanging music. He was able to say to me “I hope you know that your value isn’t negated by someone treating you like less than you are.” - and that was something that I really needed to hear. It made me realize that if someone who owes me nothing can say that to me, I don’t need to pine after someone who owes me more than that but can provide me with nothing. 

Saturday was another low for me. It was hard, it was stressful, and I wasn’t sure that I would be able to make it through the night. I ended up in the City with people who solely care about their experience, and just having fun. I’m not on the same page, and instead of exercising compassion and understanding, they exercised impatience. I walked from the City to the Valley and it was really great to see some new things. I ended up in a park on a hill, and I saw really beautiful plants, really beautiful buildings, and I spent some time reflecting on if I thought I would be able to make it through this experience. The one thing I can always count on to make me feel better, is the people that are back in Canada. They know my flaws, they experience them every single day, and they love me regardless. Everyone deserves that unconditional love, romantic or not. There is something really special about having someone on the other end of a phone call tell you how pretty they think you are, when they’re piss drunk and have zero inhibition. It’s honest, and I think that it’s so easy to appreciate honesty when you’re hurting. 

Today I woke up and everything still felt hard. Everything felt heavy, and I didn’t think that I was going to be able to do. The silver lining? That I work almost every single day this week, and I know that work is the perfect distraction. I absolutely adore the people that I work with, and I know that I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for them. I wouldn’t have even known how to get an apartment if it wasn’t for them. 

I had such an amazing day at work, and I honestly had so much fun interacting with people and interacting with my coworker. I’m convinced that I’ve found some of the best people in Brisbane. Not only was the day effortless and fun, it showed in the results that we had. I’ve been trying to keep this entire situation out of my workplace, and even though there are forces that have tried to undo that effort, my determination is stronger. 

Today I got to experience and witness such a healthy and happy relationship, and it didn’t make me sad. I didn’t have to look away and feel sorry for myself, I smiled and I felt happy. I don’t want to project negativity, and that’s been one of the best lessons that I’ve learned from this situation. I also learned, just by watching this relationship, that your significant other should do their best to reassure you, validate you, and communicate honestly with you. It doesn’t make you crazy if you don’t want them lying to you, window shopping girls that they find attractive, and if you expect action after an apology. It’s important to not feel crazy, and it’s important not to question or doubt yourself. Today it made me happy to see such a positive relationship, and it made me understand what it looks like when the love is reciprocated. It also made me understand why working on bettering yourself is so important, because in most situations the fault doesn’t solely fall on one person. 

Today I came home, I cleaned my entire apartment, and I walked to the grocery store. I listened to the new Can’t Swim album that just dropped, and I smiled while I shopped. I smiled because of the progress I’ve seen in myself in just a short two weeks. I struggle a lot, I falter a lot, and I hate myself some days. But - I’m still making myself get out of bed, shower, and make the effort throughout the day. I go to the grocery store and I know where things are, I know how to get to work, and I have people that I can message when things get challenging. Some nights I cry myself to sleep, but I talk myself through the night and I help myself understand that in the morning things won’t seem so bad anymore. 

I’ve made a friend that I really cherish. He’s a big part of my day and I’m happy that I’ve established this friendship. Every single morning I go and grab my coffee and avo toast, and every single morning I have someone to talk to about hockey, comics, and records. Sometimes when I’m in a rush he’ll walk my coffee and food down the street to my store, and it makes me understand how important it is to value these friendships, and how important it is to treat the people within them properly. I really appreciate the people who try their best to make other people’s lives easier, when they know that they’re struggling. 

Today my friend from Canada - who lives in Brisbane - reached out to me, and the timing could not have been better. We made plans to grab a vegan dinner on Tuesday evening and I am so excited to go somewhere new, see someone from home, and have an honest conversation. She also invited me to Byron Bay with her in two weeks time, and I could not be more excited to experience somewhere beautiful with someone who has the same ideals. 

Today my cousin’s wife’s mom passed away from cancer. I saw the post and my heart dropped. I feel so sad for my family and for the pain that they’re currently experiencing. More than anything, I am so sad that my aunt will follow shortly. I got the news that my aunt’s cancer has become more aggressive and that it has spread to her bones, resulting in her spine deteriorating. I spoke with her and she let me know how tired she is, and how much pain she’s in. I want to be selfish and have her stay with me forever, but I know that isn’t what’s right. I always want to wake up to inspirational, supportive text messages telling me that I’m doing the right thing and that I’m capable, but I know that it’s time for her. It’s time for her to let go and to stop fighting, and that when she does go it will be for the best. I don’t think that I’m going to be okay, and I don’t think that it will help my current situation, but I do know that it’s time and that if you truly love someone you want what’s best for them. I will always love and cherish you. 

I met an American from Venice Beach about a week ago, and today he walked by the store today and waved and smiled in, so I waved and smiled back. It was such a weird experience to explain to my coworker that he was a friend I had met while working, and that we discussed America and Canada, Vans, skating, and skate culture, and that we had become friends. I never thought that I would be waving at people walking by the store, and that I would “run into” someone that I “know”. Brisbane isn’t as daunting as I thought that it would be, and making new friends isn’t as difficult as I thought that it would be. 

Today is the first day, in a few days, that I feel a little bit better. I know that I’m making progress - even if it seems small - and that the love I have for myself, and for my well being is growing. Two days ago I was asked the question “But how does he not reach out and make sure you’re okay? How does he care that little about your well being while you’re in a new city because of him”, and it stuck with me. I realized that it isn’t a reflection of how “awful” I am, it’s just a reflection of mentality and someone else’s thought process. I am not responsible for the decisions that other people make. When you let yourself understand that, you’ll start to like yourself even just a little bit more. 

“Love yourself deeply, 

thoroughly, and with 

undeniable devotion.��

- Alison Malee