#and i KNOW it's mostly cause of fandom's lack of desire for older people

[eph-em-era]

if yall don't include chet in your polyhells big multi-ship things you're COWARDS

COWARDS

i see fics that are like fearne/ashton/orym/dorian/imogen/laudna and it's just like - where's my boy chet???? where's chet?? you know he'd be in on that if he could

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

The Blight twins, codependency and fatal communication failure

Recently I talked about “the Blight children and toxic behaviors”, specifically about the tough love fallacy and how their parents get them to target each other rather than backing each other up.

In that post I mentioned wanting to make one specifically on the relationship of the Blight twins, and, well, here we are.

When we think of The Owl House and unhealthy/toxic platonic relationships, we think of the one Amity has with the twins in the earlier episodes, or Eda and Lilith, or the one the Blight kids have with their parents. I’m pretty sure very few people would look at these words and think of Edric and Emira… but it’s true nonetheless. The twins are raised in a very toxic environment that teaches them a lot of unhealthy mechanisms. The heavily codependent relationship the two siblings share is incredibly unhealthy for both of them.

Let’s get into why.

More under cut because hell this got long.

Who am I without you?

The Blight Twins always show up as a unit. They’re a set of two, who share the same track and are involved in the same shenanigans.

We never see them separate from each other in the show. Not a single time.

Their mother picks their matching outfits, according to Dana, because she likes her kids to be “color-coordinated.” They’re supposed to always look similar.

To Amity, they’re a united front—we don’t get to see her relationship to them separate from each other, we only get her relationship with “the twins.”

As far as I’m aware we’ve never gotten art from Dana featuring just one of them. They’re also often treated as a pair by the fandom (outside of their respective ships, that is), showing up together and showcasing very similar behaviors in fics, showing up together in fanart, etc.

We don’t have much content of just one of them with Amity (or anyone else that’s not their romantic partner).

You also don’t generally see them disagreeing a lot in fan content, which is interesting. Despite being two separate characters, they don’t get to actually be separate from each other a ton.

The main difference you see in their portrayal is in Emira being treated as the more responsible older sister, while Edric gets treated as more goofy (and a bit of an idiot), both in the show and fanon content. But that’s essentially it.

The twins are the twins. There’s no “just Edric” or “just Emira”. They don’t seem to exist without each other.

Their united front is both their greatest strength and their weakest link. They likely experienced a similar abuse as the one Amity went through, but they always had each other to lean on instead of enduring it alone. And while it definitely helps them a ton that they have each other, it also results in an unhealthy amount of codependency. Edric and Emira ONLY ever had each other. Their relationship with Amity is pretty bad and outside of that almost nonexistent up until Lost In Language, mostly used to hurt each other. Edric is always with Emira and Emira is always with Edric and there is no one else they can fall back on. Their most important relationship, the one with each other, is simultaneously the only one they have, one that they desperately clung to for a very long time. They don’t have any friends that we’re aware of.

Both Emira’s and Edric’s worst fear is born out of this. Despite being completely opposite fears, they stem from the same basic issue. In Enchanting Grom Fright, when they talk about their worst fears, Edric says “Being alone forever.” while Emira says “Being stuck with you forever.”

There is so much characterization in those two little sentences.

Edric has a fear of being alone because he’s always around Emira. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be alone, and he doesn’t want to find out. He doesn’t know who he is without Emira. This is somewhat subtle in the show, but she’s shown to be the more responsible of the two, preventing her brother from eating snow and being bitten by a bat. Edric looks to Emira for guidance, and his fear of being alone might stem from him not thinking himself capable of taking care of himself. Emira is smart and knows what she’s doing, and so Edric always runs after her. Even just entertaining the thought of being without her, without anyone to guide him, scares him so much that he proclaims it his worst fear. He likely leans on Emira a ton.

His desire to to lean on other people because he thinks himself incapable of handling issues himself comes with the possibility of him opening up easier, to the extent of oversharing, doing it so much that it becomes overbearing for Emira. But even if he can open up about some of the fears he has related to not meeting their parents expectations, he can’t really communicate the issues he has that involve Emira, because open communication about their issues is something they generally struggle with (see the point about lack of communication further below). Edric is under the impression that he needs someone else because he’s never been without Emira and doesn’t know what it’s like to exist without her. And as long as he has someone to lean on, he never has to find out if he’s truly as incapable as he thinks himself to be. His refusal to let go of her fuels his fear further—the tighter he holds on, the scarier the thought of letting go becomes.

Emira doesn’t know who she is without Edric either, and that’s exactly the reason she wants to break out of that dynamic so desperately. She doesn’t want to be nothing but someone’s twin for the rest of her life. She wants to just be herself, not have all her interests linked to her brother, for people to stop mentioning her only in the same sentence as Edric. She’s had enough of the matching. What Emira really wants is independence—from her brother, and, to a larger extent, her parents and their control.

Edric leaning on her as much as he does makes Emira feel responsible for him, and she struggles to let go of that because she doesn’t want to hurt him—but the tighter he holds on because he believes he needs her, the more overwhelmed Emira feels by her brother and the responsibility she holds for both of them.

Emira loves Edric, but she’s his sister, and can’t provide him with emotional support 24/7. Spending all day handling someone else’s issues can be pretty draining, especially when you struggle to share the ones you yourself have.

With Emira’s longing for independence comes a refusal to lean on anyone, especially on Edric, because she can’t at the same time let herself be vulnerable and need his support while also wanting to break out of their current dynamic. So Emira doesn’t talk about her issues, she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t lean on anyone. Emira is independent and strong and she doesn’t need anyone, especially not Edric.

It likely started out as them leaning on each other, but where Edric started to become too dependent on Emira always being there, Emira started growing increasingly overwhelmed and pulling back, catching them in a vicious circle of him trying to hold on tighter in order not to lose her, which causes her to draw back further.

To be clear:

a) Emira is not a terrible person for wanting to be away from Edric. What she said hurt him and came across as callous, but what he said harmed her too, even if the “why” that I just explained isn’t as blatantly obvious in the show. Edric isn’t a terrible person for relying on Emira so much, either. Neither of them are inherently malicious in any way, even if they do hurt each other. That they have to deal with these issues in the first place is rooted in the abuse they experienced, specifically in their parents treating them as a two-part set rather than two separate people their whole life.

b) I think it should be clear now why Edric’s behavior is toxic, but I want to address that Emira’s behavior is also an issue. While her desire for independence in itself is normal and healthy, she’s striving for a toxic kind of independence where she doesn’t need anyone anymore, which wouldn’t be good for her either.

Everyone needs to rely on other people sometimes, and if she doesn’t allow herself to, it’s going to cause some serious damaged in the long run. The most reliable relationship she had, the only support system she has, falls victim to her desire to be away from Edric… and only after she is she’s going to realize just how much she needed him, needed anyone to be there, too.

I think it’s very interesting that Edric’s and Emira’s issues are essentially inverted—they have the same root, but their problems are the exact opposite.

Edric is Emira’s mirror image.

This is also shown visually. With the matching clothes and identical dominant features (eye and hair color), they look extremely similar. Their beauty marks are what makes them into a mirror image rather than just looking identical, because they’re on opposite sides of their face. Emira’s is on her right cheek, Edric’s on his left. If they face each other, the marks mirror each other perfectly.

They had the same thing in the concept art I’ve seen of them too, but it was with identical earrings on opposite sides rather than beauty marks.

Caged Freedom

I couldn’t find a way to somehow smoothly fit this into the overlaying topic, but it’s an important part of the reason for their communication issues I go into below, and also just something that I wanted to go into, so take it or leave it.

The twins appear extremely confident, seem like they always get what they want (Amity even resents them for “getting away with everything”), but they really, really doesn’t. Sneaking out of school is the only way they can have the slightest bit of normalcy and freedom and control over their life, and Edric and Emira cannot be caught or it will come back to bite them—the reason they wanted to punish Amity in the first place is that she told on them for skipping, getting them in trouble.

Even within their “rebellion” against their parents, there’s a set system Emira and Edric have to operate within—matching clothes, perfect scores, not doing anything that could get back to their parents or harm the family reputation. Despite skipping school, they both maintain excellent grades. It’s said in Adventures in the Elements, Amity is even trying to beat their best score on an exam.

It’s a careful, calculated kind of resistance, not one that includes them openly opposing their parents. They do things their parents wouldn’t like, they tread lines, but they’re being smart about it, in hopes it will never get back to their parents. Even their limited freedom is caged in that way.

Despite seeming as confident as they do, they’re too scared to talk back to their parents. They cause exactly the kind of trouble that they know is possible to get away with without putting themselves in harm’s way. Going further, openly calling their parents out for how they’re being treated, would be dangerous, and so they don’t. They operate within the system and follow it as much as they have to in order to be able to push the boundaries even slightly.

Their endless confidence, their apparent fearlessness, is just another illusion of theirs.

They wouldn’t need to get back at Amity for telling on them if their behavior was just a huge “fuck you” to their parents. But they do, because their parents aren’t supposed to know. They’re scared, even if they’d never admit that.

Emira and Edric target Amity as a way to cope with the treatment they receive from their parents, which they to an extent blame on Amity (I’ve gone over this more in-depth in the toxic behaviors post I linked above).

Hurting Amity in hopes she won’t tell on them again seems safe in a way that actively calling out their parents behavior could never be.

Lack of Communication

Edric and Emira both have trouble communicating their feelings in a healthy way, and instead of open communication and talking things through they revert to backhand comments and punishment.

They grown up believing that severe punishments are necessary, “tough love” used to help someone improve as shown (and literally quoted) in Lost In Language in regards to Amity. That’s also something I go into my other Blight sibs post.

Regarding the backhand comments, let’s look at their worst fears in Enchanting Grom Fright again. As explained above, Emira’s “being stuck with you forever”-fear is a shitty attempt at trying to get across that she’s unhappy with never getting to be apart from Edric to just be herself. Edric’s “being alone forever” brings up a huge fear of his, especially of being abandoned by Em, which, regarding her worst fear, is justified.

Both of these fears are extremely understandable, and they don’t necessarily have to be at odds with each other—Emira just wants to not feel overwhelmed by Edric, and figure out who she is, and she doesn’t have to completely abandon him to achieve that, even if it’s something she might think she wants now. Edric has to find a way to be able to rely on himself more because Emira can’t always be around him, but he can still maintain a close, positive relationship with her, and would absolutely be able to make other friends that could support him.

What them voicing these fears is, for both of them, is a desperate cry for help, for change. Edric wouldn’t be bringing this up if there wasn’t a part of him that desperately wants to talk to Emira about this, and in the same way Emira wouldn’t have said her fear if she wouldn’t want it too. But the issue is that the twins don’t actually communicate. They put these huge things out there, validating the other’s worst fear with what they say. And then they don’t talk it out. These sentences just hang in the air between them, and then they move on like nothing happened, both anxious and hurt.

And this is because the Blight family in general doesn’t communicate. As mentioned before, the twins don’t dare to talk back to their parents, they do things behind their backs and hope they won’t get caught. They don’t communicate with Amity, and despite Edric and Emira being the closest person the other has, they don’t really communicate the issues in their relationship with each other either, because they don’t know how. This is not a skill they were ever taught, because talking things through like that requires them to be extremely vulnerable. To acknowledge what their worst fears are and why, that they might have gone too far or might have been wrong about some of the things they said, and therefore admit to not being perfect.

But Blights are required to be perfect, and Blights aren’t wrong—if others don’t see things your way, you make them. If others don’t act the way you want them to, you punish them. Tough love to help them grow and “encourage” them to make the “right” decision.

There’s no room for open communication in an environment that sees vulnerability as a shortcoming, and admitting mistakes as a weakness. If neither party is willing to take the first step, communication withers and dies, and the issues go ignored as they grow. Admitting there’s an issue in the first place, and that it might partially be your fault, is considered backing down. And Blights don’t back down. They can’t.

If you back down in business, let others convince you into a bad contact, you’ll never be successful. Worst case: it might be the end. And so you don’t back down. You never do. Blights don’t lose an argument. The other person has to break and back down first.

But that can’t work when both people involved were raised with that mindset. So Emira doesn’t make the first step, and neither does Edric, and aside from their backhand comments that never lead anywhere, they just suffer silently as their relationship disintegrates without as much as their acknowledgement of it.

For Edric, there’s also the issue that bringing up his fear might possibly drive Emira further away, knowing her fear. He doesn’t want to make her angry, and doesn’t want to fight with her, because it might lead to him losing her, which is exactly what he so desperately wants to prevent.

I can’t remember which post brought it up, but one post I read a while back also addresses how despite admitting that her behavior was wrong, we never hear Amity say “sorry” to Willow. Because if there’s one thing the Blight family does even less than admitting mistakes in the first place, it’s apologizing for them. Open communication is weak. Apologizing is weaker.

In summary: There needs to be a balance between depending on yourself and still being able to ask others for support when you need it, and Emira and Edric are currently sitting on opposite ends of the same issue. Both of them need to move more towards the middle. What one of them so desperately wants is what the other needs to recognize.

Emira realizes that she needs space from Edric, and because Edric doesn’t recognize it, he’s the one that needs space from Emira more. He desperately needs to realize that clinging to each other the way they currently are isn’t healthy.

Edric realizes that he needs support from other people, and that’s something Emira denies for herself that she really needs to realize.

They both have half of the solution to their shared problem, but their difficulties communicating the issues within their relationship properly prevent them from finding a healthy solution together.

For everyone that’s incredibly sad now (myself included): I cover these topics in several of my fics.

Most prominently, Locked Out, where I’m currently beginning to explore the Blight twins and their different mindsets further.

Most recently, Sleight of Hand, a collab fic I did with my friend @lexa-alycia, where, among other things, the twins have a long overdue conversation regarding the things said in Enchanting Grom Fright.

But also 6/8 of my currently posted Owl House fics (not counting another additional two that also do and are done but haven’t been posted yet) give focus to at least one of the Blight twins if not both, so yeah I have plenty of twins content on my profile for anyone that wants XD

Next up, probably (because I just do not want to be done with this apparently): a post regarding Vinem and Jerbric and why these relationships would work and be extremely beneficial for everyone involved.

[calaofnoldor]

i wanna try something...

UPDATE: there is no more one fic a day requirement! it’s simply whoever reblogs the most hidden gems this year wins!

so it’s come to my attention (through this post and others) that a lot of writers’ note counts have been dwindling as of late, whether on tumblr or ao3.

i wanna try to help remedy this by reblogging as many under-appreciated fics as i can throughout the entire year of 2021 as a way to sort of re-boost writer morale :) 

if anyone wants to join me, please do! i'll be using the tag 'hidden gems reblog challenge'. alternatively, you can simply send in fics that you believe to be underrated if you prefer not to take part in the challenge yourself!

huge thanks to @sams-sass for helping me come up with this idea and title! ��� there’s more details and some tags below the cut:

WHY hidden gems? there’s just too much good stuff out there that gets lost and, as @girl-next-door-writes so eloquently puts it, “hidden in the tumblr fuckery”, which is both incredibly discouraging for writers and also unfortunate for readers in search of more amazing fics!

WHO can join? anyone! readers, writers, big blogs, small blogs!

WHAT can you reblog? any fic that you believe deserves more love! whatever fandom you like, new or old fics, doesn’t matter. i don’t want to define ‘under-appreciated’ or ‘underrated’ with a set numerical value because it can be different for everyone (a very popular writer can have one fic that does less well than the rest of their work, though it may still have over a hundred notes, some fics only get likes and no feedback, sometimes writers develop a huge following over time but their older fics still lack love, etc.) but as a general cue, i will personally be trying to focus on fics with less than 200 notes, and anything under 100 notes will be tagged ‘underrated af’ lol. 

- writers, you may also reblog one of your own fics (what you believe to be your most underrated piece) if you want! please use the tag ‘my own hidden gem’ if you choose to do so, mostly cause i’m super curious 😉  

WHEN is this happening? you can choose to join WHENEVER you want this year. the goal is simply to spread more love and discover more fantastic stories and writers!

PRIZES? given that i’m just an obscure, wee little blog, i honestly don’t know if there’ll be any many people joining, but if this catches on and we get enough participants, there will certainly be prizes! i haven’t decided exactly what yet, but i do run a little shop over on redbubble so it’ll probably be something from there!

HOW do you win? let’s say the person who finds and reblogs the most hidden gems in a row this year will be declared our winner! you can compile all of your awesome shiny finds into one masterlist for easy viewing and reference (feel free to use the banner above if you’d like 😊) and make sure to tag me when you’re done! chapters in a multiple-part story count as one.

HOW do you join? if you’d like a chance to win, please send me an ask to let me know you’re signing up! otherwise, feel free to simply use the tag ‘hidden gems reblog challenge’ and go wild, reblog as your heart desires! if you don’t want to participate in the challenge and just wanna help spread the love, you can choose to send in hidden gems to help out your favorite participants (given that they’re ok with it!). this blog will be accepting any under-appreciated winchester fics you might have to offer ;)

ok, that’s it. sorry for being such a wordy motherfu- HAPPY READING/DISCOVERING!!!

i’m gonna tag as many people as i can think of in case y’all wanna signal boost or better yet, tag some more friends and join in!

@girl-next-door-writes (i know you’re hosting a bingo, so you’re kind of already doing this rn but i just wanted to give you a shout out cause you helped inspire this!) @sams-sass (thank you again, babe!) @sammit-janet @carryonmywaywardbucky @beskaradberoya @anaelsbrunette @downanddirtydean @deanwinchesterswitch @swiftlymoniquesblog @mrswhozeewhatsis @thinkinghardhardlythinking @idreamofplaid @becs-bunker @fangirlxwritesx67 @hoboal87 @superbadassnatural @moosewinchester @winchest09 @peridottea91 @idabbleincrazy @firefly-in-darkness @idreamofhazel @imagineteamfreewill @there-must-be-a-lock @kickingitwithkirk @ruined-by-destiel @austin-winchester67 @maxineswritingcenter @my-proof-is-you @flamencodiva @wonder-cole @muchamusedaboutnothing @impala-dreamer​ @supernaturalfreewill​ @imhereforbvcky​ @averil-of-fairlea​ @fromthedeskoftheraven​

[vdragon-creations]

My OC Danganronpa Class

What up!

You’d think that after i did this shit for the MHA fandom, I would not do this shit to myself again! But you would be wrong! Oh so wrong, as I am an artist that likes to put myself through pain! An Artistic Masochist if you will!

Anyhow. Just like I did when I made my OC’s for the MHA Fandom, I may as well do so for the Danganronpa Fandom too! What could go wrong? Right? 

My Class of Danganronpa OC’s are made up of 16 Characters! (My Main OC included!) And here’s a list of their talents, gender, personality, and maybe a brief description of them (If I’ve come up with a look for them in my head yet!) I wanted to be as unique with this group as possible when it comes to talent sets, but I also like clichés and tropes and think theirs nothing wrong with them as long as they’re used well and in an interesting fashion! None of these OC’s have names yet, and again grammar is non existent here! So with that out of the way, Let’s begin!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Cosmetologist- Name: N/A Gender: Male (Was born Female) Personality: He is someone who looks for the beauty in all people, be it cosmetic or otherwise! He wants to use his talent to make others feel happy and comfortable in their own skin, to bring out that inner beauty! He himself had to struggle for many years to feel comfortable with who he was, and through his love for the cosmetic arts, he was able to do that! He’s a very confident individual, and becomes very upset when someone starts to become self-deprecating or he sees someone putting down others! He’s not ashamed of himself at all, and will become quite serious when someone puts two and two together when they find out he’s trans. A kind of “Yeah, that’s right! What of it?” attitude. He can be very eccentric and poetic when talking about the things he loves, this includes people!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Match Maker- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: If you took a Multi Shipper and mixed them with a flaming pervert, then you’d have this guy! Despite him being a absolute god when it comes to finding love for others, his own love life leaves much to be desired. As such, he’s always ALWAYS hitting on the girls he speaks too! Even the one’s he’s helping to find love! He’s a horndog, but one can’t deny the man’s talent at finding love for others! He has a nearly 98% Success rate when it comes to his pairings, and a little over half of those end with the pair getting married or being together of many years! He’s very perceptive and is a master at reading body language, which gives him an advantage when choosing partners for others! Deep within that perverted exterior he puts on though, is a genuinely sweet guy who cares for the happiness of those around him! Why would he do what he does otherwise!?

Highschool Level Ultimate: Tattoo Artist- Name: N/A Gender: Female Personality: At first glance, she doesn’t seem like much more then your average Gunge Goth Chick with a thing for looking tired and and just over it. But that the opposite of what she’s actually like, sure she still speaks in a mostly tired and deadpan voice, but she a pretty warm person! She friendly to most everyone she meets, her first question usually being something along the lines of “Yo! Got any Tats?”. She very interested in seeing the tattoos of others and learning their story through them! She’s very gifted at her craft, All of her clients being 100% satisfied with the tattoo’s she makes! When listening to what they want, she’s says it’s almost like she can see their memories as her own, and is able to create exactly what they want! She’s always very chill, and it’s hard to piss her off, but if you hurt a friend of hers, oh! You’re gunna be getting a very unpleasant tattoo from her! The only other thing she can’t stand is when someone mocks another's tattoo. That’s someone’s story and feeling’s put into visual form, and thus she’s very protective of that! She also really hates the term “Tramp Stamp”! Description: She’s a very short and petite young lady who’s always wearing a hoody with the hood over her head. Her hair is platinum blonde and wavy, it always sticking out of the hood on the sides of her face. She has Steel Blue eyes that have very dark rings around them, a mixture of heavy eyeliner and just lack of sleeps. She’s wearing ripped jeans most of the time and sneakers and most of the time, has a lollipop, toothpick, or cigarette in her mouth.

Highschool Level Ultimate: Radio DJ- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: Loud! Very Loud! That’s the first impression he gives everyone! And it couldn’t be more accurate! This dude is a party animal! A love for all things music! He’s constantly listening to all the latest hits from all types of music, and loves all of it! One would never guess though that this crazy fellow also has a more chill side! But if you listen to Station 75.9 after 10 P.M. you’ll notice that this guy has quite a calming voice! At night, he runs a late talk show from his dorm at Hope’s Peak for the student body! He plays soft music like Jazz or Classical during this time for those who have a hard time sleeping or just need something going on in the background while they study for the next big test! He also brings in guests like fellow classmates, members of staff, or those that work close with them to be on his late show to answer any questions that the other students can call in and ask on air! He believes that all things can be bettered by the power of music, and wants to do that for the whole world!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Journalist- Name: N/A Gender: Female Personality: This young lady has some serious guts! With a passion for the truth and the wit to get the best stories for the student body of Hope’s Peak! She wants so badly to be a reporter and will do the best damn job she can! She’s the first one on the scene to anything happening on campus, and no one is safe from her detective like eyes! She can be a bit accusatory at times and seems to get a little too worked up over her job, which can make her come off as bossy or insensitive. She flustered easily by things that confuse her! Mostly that’s things like Machines or Men! Which is way she mostly writes everything down by hand and mainly only talks to ladies, and when she has to talk to guys, she tends to try and get to the point quickly to avoid a long conversation. This is why she always has her classmate with her to help with these kinds of situations!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Assistant- Name: Naya Yuno (Called Ladybug by most of her classmates and close friends!) Gender: Female Personality: Think of the shyest person you know, and times that by a million! She incredibly nervous around others, especially men! This is due to her unfortunate talent! This girl can be told to do or help with just about anything, and she will do it flawlessly without much protest. Now, this has cause several problems for her with being taken advantage of by a good amount of people in the past, her parents included. She she has a general distrust in most people, causing her rampant shyness. But, she still want to be useful and do good things to help others! So she mainly fallows her classmate, the Ultimate Journalist around. She helps her with interviews despite her shyness, as due to her talent and her orders, she HAS to obey. And if she has to be alone to complete a task, she puts in ear plugs to keep herself from being told to do anything else. But despite her orders, there’s one particular little Hall Monitor that no matter what, if she’s asked to speak too, she freezes and can’t speak too with out turning into a blushing flustered mess. Description: She’s a short girl with a rather nice figure! She’s got a strong pair of legs, as she’s always running in halls back and forth to complete her tasks quickly without interruption. She has long black hair held in a low hanging ponytail, tied with a white fluffy ball-like tie, and pair of Golden Brown eyes. She’s always seen wearing a modified School uniform with a noticeably longer skirt then the other girls and a pair of glasses.

Highschool Level Ultimate: Cheerleader- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: If you turned a Golden Retriever Puppy into a human being, you’d have this guy! A literal ball of sunshine and all that is good in this world! This dude kicks ass at gymnastics, Dancing, and singing! Kinda important when  you’re a cheerleader! He grew up with his older sister who is a very Famous and talented Cheerleader for a Sports team. He loved seeing her dance and put smiles on everyone’s faces, getting everyone so hyped! And he wanted to be just like her! Only problem...he was a guy, and guys aren’t supposed to do girly things...right? His sister wasn’t having it! she told him how in other parts of the world, male cheerleading is absolutely a thing, and that it didn’t matter what others thought1 He should just be himself, and have fun! So that’s what her did! He’s a very hard worker and is all about putting a spring in people’s steps! He gets upset if someone bashes him for his interest and will take none too kindly to those who mock him! It just pushes him to do more! 

Highschool Level Ultimate: Empath (Main OC)- Name: N/A Gender: Female Personality: This woman is like an saint! She’s kind, Patient, Caring, and always going out of her way to help others when needed! She’s only firm when she needs to get the job done, but she’s always doing so with a smile! However, don’t push it, cause even though she looks like a pushover, She’s got a will of iron and a smack that can make even the toughest of men tear up a little. And she’ll deliver the blow with that same smile! She hardly get’s any sleep, as she’s always in a state of unrest! So despite her chipper look, she’s actually pretty tired. And who could blame her? Her talent not only makes her deal with the emotions of others round her, but her own anxieties too! She avoids touching people at all coasts, as part of her talent allows her to feel exactly what the other person does just by being around them, but if she touches them, the feeling is increased and can lead to her having nervous breakdowns or even going into shock. She has to e super relaxed in order for this not to happen, but seeing how she’s always on the move, that’s just never really possible. She has a bit of a wild side too! As she used to have a BF before Hope’s Peak who was a biker! She love to dance, sing, drink, and just generally have a bombass time. However, after his death, and her starting work and schooling, she just....didn’t have the time or heart to have that kind of fun again! Sometimes she’ll have a slip up, like letting out a cheer when something great happens, Gushing over her peers, or even a little playful flirting here and there with a certain Fortune Teller.

Highschool Level Ultimate: Farmer- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: He’s the classes big bear man! He’s a gentle giant with a heart of gold! He works hard, cares for his friends, and wants nothing but the best for those around him! Being a farmer, he knows everything about plants, Livestock, the earth, and how to take care of it! He acts like a big brother for his class as he is quite wise for his age! He’s the first one to put an end to an argument by trying to get everyone to relax and just talk out there differences! He hates violence, and don’t take too kindly to people wanting to hurt his friends! He’s pretty intimidating when he get’s angry, and that’s normally enough to keep folks who might try to cause trouble away. Description: He’s quite a tall and big looking guy! He’s got short light brown hair that’s messed up, and thick hair that pokes out of the top of the flannel shirt he wears and that grows along his forearms. He wears dirty overalls and a pair of large steal toed boots. He had a large straw hat as well but only puts it on while he’s working, most of the time it’s just hanging off of his neck on his back. He’s got a bit of stubble on his chin too!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Pilot- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: He’s quite a perky young man! But only when he works on his plane or flying! Most of the time, he looks tired or miserable. Needless to say he hates having his feet on the ground! He’s often daydreaming about flying or just laying in the grass just staring into the clouds. He’s friendly for the most part, but unless you talk to him about something related to flying, odds are he won’t pay much attention to you! Flying just seems to be the only thing that helps him focus on....well, pretty much anything. Despite his lack of attention to most things though, he’s VERY smart! Not only is he a pretty skilled mechanic, but the dude is quite the Linguist! The guy knows Japanese, English, Spanish, German, Russian, and Italian! The only reason his classmates know this about him, is because he starts talking in another language when he starts getting bored in a conversation. He might seem distant to most of his classmates, or anyone really, but he does have a love for people, it’s just hard for him to focus on them, when there is a big old sky just out their waiting to be explored!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Hypnotist- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: It’s a little hard to say much about his personality when the man refuses to talk unless he’s using his talent! According to him, his voice is hypnotic to all who hear it, so he refrains from speaking. He’s a mysterious fellow that’s for sure! Apparently, he’s even so good at what he does that not even he is immune to his own talent, o much so that he keep a blindfold over his eyes at all time, so that when he uses his pendulum, he doesn’t enter into a trance as well! He’s quite helpful though, as if his classmates ever need to relax or need a nap and can’t sleep, he’ll gladly use his talent on them! He’s also capable of brainwashing people doing this, however he himself refuses to use it to make someone do something that would cause them harm or humiliate them!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Fisherman- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: This dude is an....odd one to say the least. He’s always telling stories about Ghosts, Monsters, Alien, and other stuff that he claims to have seen while out on the water! He’s a hugely superstitious person and is quite gullible, but the guy means well! He’s very knowledgeable when it comes to many forms of aquatic life and even has a pet Axolotl, that he claims to have saved it from being eaten by a Bigfoot while on one of his fishing trips! He’s likes to give “Good Luck” charms to his classmates anytime they’re about to do something stressful. They humor him and take the charms, just so his feelings aren’t hurt, the poor guy is just trying to help after all!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Comedian- Name: Autumn Miwa Gender: Female Personality: A ball of literal joy and sunshine! It’s nearly unheard of to see this girl sad or angry! She’s The Ultimate Comedian after all, and laughter and smiles are her MO! Pranks, Standup, Skits, Silly Outfits, Dancing, Jokes, Tickle Fights, Impersonations, Songs! You name it, this girl will do it to make someone laugh or crack a smile! She’s always the first to want to cheer someone up who looks like they’re not feeling so hot. She loves the sound of laughs an cheers and she gets all giggly herself when someone else is happy too! He favorite people to make smile, are the ones who always seem a bit shy or who don’t talk often, hearing those people snicker or giggle is enough to make her so energized that she could power an entire city for weeks! This said, she does know her place, when a situation arises that needs to be handled delicately, she’s more then willing to set aside her need to make the person smile in favor of just being there to comfort and hold them! This girl loves PDA, and has no problem with hugging or holding hands with some stranger! She especially loves it when they get they get a little sheepish about it, she thinks it’s adorable! There’s actually a sweet little Robocutie that she loves going in for sneak attack hugs and tickles, he always has the best reactions! However, deep down underneath this happiness, this poor girl is hiding quite the shocking secret. She suffers from a incurable and life threatening illness that will most likely kill her before the end of her late 40's. So, for now, she just wants others to enjoy her company and remember her as she is now! It's better that way!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Seamstress- Name: N/A Gender: Female Personality: Basically everyone’s idea of a grandmother in the form of a sweet young girl! She very gentle and kind, and has a need to make everyone around her comfortable! Warm clothes, Soft Blankets, Cute Plushies! She makes it all! She also makes warm cookies, though that has less to do with her talent and more to do with her general love for sweets! Though, as sweet as she is, she is also quite clever and tactful, and isn’t above a little bit of blackmail to get people to do what she wants. This is only done to people she may not care much for of course!  She LOVES AESTHETICES!!!! She has a mood board, one for each of her classmates that she always references from when making them something!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Actor- Name: N/A Gender: Male Personality: This guy is as dramatic as they come! He’s quite the overreactor, and tends to get super emotional over the smallest things, good or bad! For example, he once openly “proposed” to a girl in the middle of the Dining Hall, just because she was kind enough to let him have the last Dinner Roll that was left at the buffet table. And the other time he started acting like he would be raining fire and brimstone on a guy just because he accidently clipped him on the shoulder while trying to walk past him! He can be really exhausting to be around but is kind enough! Though, he does have a bad habit of accidently insulting others while trying to give compliments. Most of the time, he can be found practicing his parts for plays and movies alone in the gym. He adores dramas and tragedies most of all, even though he is more then capable of doing over forms of acting. This guy is a master at reading people, which is what makes him so good of an actor, he can sense deception from a mile away! So he’s a pretty hard person to fool!

Highschool Level Ultimate: Meteorologist- Name: N/A Gender: Female Personality: A small chucky lady who’s a sweet as candy! She’s a super smart young lady who loves the weather! She spends a lot of her free time collecting weather data and helping the folks in the greenhouse and gardens by giving them her findings so they can better their crops and protect them if needed. She has a fondness for rainy weather, but more so if it’s still sunny out while it’s raining! I has a huge obsession with Rainbows and Tornados, in fact one of her biggest dreams in life is to go on a real Storm Chase one day! Truly an adventurous young lady!

[keysmashchronicles]

my history in phandom and fandom

I’ve always been an avid reader. If I’d have been born twenty years later than I was and grew up in a time when every kid has tablet or a phone, that need for stories might have been filled by TV or other formats instead, but in my childhood years it was all about books, and visiting the library as often as possible. I often daydreamed about the characters in books the books I read, mostly egocentric thoughts of what it would be like if I were to somehow find myself in the stories I was reading. What would it be like to have them as my friends, to be part of those adventures? Of course, in typical Mary-Sue fashion, it wasn’t the real me that I imagined in those daydreams, but some idealised version that was cleverer and funnier and prettier and of course, someone all the other characters either envied or adored.

As I got older, and we moved beyond the stage of just having one TV in the house, my obsessive nature shifted to include TV shows as well as books. The first show that really caught my imagination was Dawson’s Creek. I loved it, the over-articulate teens with all their angsty problems heightened by their hormones going haywire, going through mental health issues and struggles with sexuality and of course, the classic love triangle. I couldn’t wait to tune in every week and catch up on what was happening in Capeside.

I’m not sure how it happened, but one day I was online on our cranky old computer and stumbled across some Dawson’s Creek fanfiction. I was amazed, and fascinated, and also terrified that someone in my family was going to walk in and catch me reading it. But I read every story on that website, and then started looking for more. I couldn’t believe there were other people out there like me, people who didn’t just watch a TV programme and then forget it about it until the following week.  There were others who thought about the characters in a TV show so much, it was almost like they became real. People who wanted to analyse every aspect of the relationships the characters had on screen, and also take these characters off into plots and stories and worlds that were nothing like what actually happened in the show, imagine them in endless different scenarios and see them experience every kind of emotion and think about how they’d react. People who wanted to write or read over and over again about the same characters because they found more and more to discover about them every time they did.I had found my happy place!

Over the years, the obsession with fanfic remained, but the focus of it shifted.I’d go through a cycle – discover a new fandom, immerse myself in it for maybe a year or two, then slowly lose interest. There would be a period where I wouldn’t read fic for a while, maybe 6 months or a year, and then all of a sudden, a new show would capture my attention and I’d be off and running again.

After my interest in Dawson’s Creek had run it’s course, the show that took its place for me was Buffy. As I recall, I had only watched a few episodes here and there and then a writer I was already reading started to post Buffy fics. I read a couple and realised that there must be much more to this show than I’d thought if it was inspiring such good writing. I think that obsession must have lasted a good 3-4 years, one of the longest I’ve had.  There was just so much good stuff for writers to work with - a whole cast of interesting well-developed characters, the good vs evil narrative, the endless possibilities of spells and demons and alternate universes and origin stories and the threat that the world might end at any moment….the list goes on. And also, there was the smut  - I’d read a fair amount in my previous fandom, but Buffy fics took it to a whole other level (this by the way being a major cause of the confusion I had when trying to work out my own sexuality - how can I be asexual? Have you seen my AO3 history???)

After that came the West Wing, followed by House, followed by the other behemoth of my fandom life, Sherlock. With all of these, although I read a hell of a lot of fic, that was always as far as my involvement in fandom went. I didn’t feel the need to join any fandom communities, in fact I don’t really think I would have known much about where or how to get involved if I’d wanted to. In the early days, the fic I read was on fan-hosted sites, with the aid of webrings to help you discover other authors. Then for a long time it was fanfiction.net, livejournal and finally AO3 where I read most of my fic today.

So how did I get into phanfic? In the aftermath of Sherlock series 4, it felt like my engagement with fic in that fandom came to a bit of a stop – there wasn’t really anywhere much to take the story in terms of canon, and a lot of people felt that the whole Eurus plotline had been kind of a jumping the shark moment. For myself, I’d got to that stage where it felt like there was nothing new under the sun. I was feeling the fatigue that always eventually came when I’d overread a fandom, and no matter how hard I’d try to find something to interest me, nothing seemed to capture my imagination any more.

I left the fic alone for quite a while, turning mostly back to traditionally published media – I dipped a toe back into Sherlock fic on occasion, read a bit of MCU here and there but nothing significant.

Then one evening in June 2019, I was scrolling through Twitter when I decided to check what was trending and saw a name I didn’t recognise – Daniel Howell. I had no idea who he was, but lots of other people were clearly very excited by something he’d done, so I thought I’d have a look and find out why. Usually when this happens, it turns the person is either on a reality TV show or plays sports of some kind,  but on this occasion I saw the words ‘YouTuber’ and ‘coming out video’ and it piqued my interest. The only experience I really had of watching YouTubers was through my step niece, when she’d had an obsession with Miranda Sings and we’d watched a lot of her videos together, including collabs, so I knew a few names but not much beyond that.

I clicked on Dan’s video, fully expecting that like with most random clicks, I’d watch for a minute or two before getting bored and looking for something else to occupy my attention, but that didn’t happen. The video was incredible and I was absolutely transfixed for the whole 45 minutes. I thought it was brilliant - the deeply personal story that was being told, the humour, the well-thought out and confidently delivered arguments – I don’t think I���d ever seen anything like it. As someone who had come to identify as asexual and panromantic but not until they were in their late 30s, and who was (is?) still in a place of trying to understand what that meant in my life, it was also hugely resonant to me on a personal level, helping me to realise the unacknowledged but damaging internalised acephobia and homophobia that I was still carrying with me.

I went to Dan’s channel and watched some of his videos, then was curious about that guy named Phil that he’d mentioned, so I watched some of his videos too. I came across the first PINOF and was completely charmed by it, by their rapport and silly humour and how they clearly felt so comfortable just to muck about and be themselves.

For a while I was happy just going through all the content on their channels. It didn’t really occur to me to look for fic until it was referenced in one of their videos. Up until then, RPF had really not been my thing – I’d seen some fics written about the actors who played characters in my various fandoms and I’d avoided them because it had made me feel uncomfortable about what they’d think if they saw them. I’d also scrolled past a lot of 1D and BTS fic when browsing on AO3 tags and to be honest, had had a pretty snobby opinion about it.

But having heard Dan’s story, and then seen dnp’s obvious connection in their videos, I was curious to see what the fans’ take had been on their relationship, and also to see what was being written about them now that Dan had come out. I looked to see if there was anything about them on AO3 and bam! There it was, my next fic obsession had grabbed hold of me and there wasn’t anything much I could do about it!

Since then, I’ve not only read a ton of fics, but even had a go at writing a few. It’s painful because they never come anywhere near the standard of the fics and writers I really admire. I have the desire to want to write well, but also a complete lack of the patience and dedication it takes to develop the necessary skill. But for the first time I didn’t let that stop me from publishing a few fics as I realised I was really writing for myself, to have an outlet for thoughts and ideas that had been going around in my head, and if anyone happened to read it, that was just a bonus.

Then through reading the Seven Basic Plots, I realised that what I’m more interested in at the moment than learning to write fics myself is to come to a greater understanding of how they work, and what exactly has been fuelling my fic obsession for over 20 years (wow....that was weird to think about! Such a long time!)

So that’s my history in fandom, and in phandom, and explains why reading a book about the nature of stories and their purpose made me immediately think that I wanted to examine those ideas in relation to something I know and love – phanfiction.

the seven basic plots // 1st plot - overcoming the monster

[jchb32273]

DAI (DAO) OC Tag

Tagged by @freethemages​! Thanks!! <3

I think I will tag @andrastini​, @captain-savvy​, @anjelica-grey​, @barbex​, and anyone else who might be interested!

Name: Kylara Auria Amell

Race and Class: Human Mage

Specialization: Primal Mage, Shapeshifter, and Arcane Warrior

Age: 19 (when she was recruited into the Grey Wardens), 30 at the time of the Conclave. Born 22 Drakonis 9:11 Dragon

Height: 5’9” (approx 180cm)

Family*: Unknown until she was able to do a bit of research after the Blight. Then she found out her family had once been Kirkwall nobility. She eventually met her two older brothers and two younger sisters – all of them mages (all of them sent to different Circles), although she only became close to her cousin, Garrett Hawke.

Great Aunt: Bethann Walker-Amell, Great Uncle: Astride Amell, Grandmother*: Lottie Smythe-Amell, Grandfather: Fausten Amell, Uncle: Damion Amell, Uncle: Gamlen Amell, Aunt: Leandra Amell-Hawke, Mother: Revka Amell, Father*: Roland Hawthorne, Brothers*: Leland & Augustin Hawthorne, Sisters*: Gisela & Allectia Amell, Cousins: Garrett, Carver, & Bethany Hawke

(* As there are some gaps in the Amell Family Tree – found on the Dragon Age Fandom wiki – I made up and filled in a few of my own names. Also, not really sure why Kylara and her siblings would have the last name of Amell… as that is their mother’s last name. Perhaps it was a nobility thing. So I just made up that the boys took their father’s last name and the girls took their mother’s.)

Love Interest: Alistair Theirin

Personality/Traits: Mostly calm and logical, but she can get hotheaded if someone argues against her core beliefs. She is a very smart, strong and powerful mage. Kylara is also highly passionate. Once she and Alistair had had their first time together, they were nearly inseparable. Heterosexual (possibly bi-curious, as she kissed Leliana one evening when she and Alistair were briefly apart. While Leli claimed that Kylara “wasn’t really into it”, it may have opened up new ideas in her head.) She had only ever been with Alistair until she met the sexy pirate captain, Isabela, at the Pearl… which led to a very steamy threesome between the three of them. After it, she swore to Alistair that it was just a one-time thing… until they met Isabela again a few years later. Now and then she and Ali will comment on finding other women attractive, and what it might be like… but they have not acted upon these thoughts. Both are fully content being with each other.

Background*: Until she found her family, Kylara only remembered coming to the Circle at Kinloch when she was eight years old. First Enchanter Irving had put a memory block on her at the request of her father. The reason for this she found out later, was because when her brother, Augustin, was sent away to a Circle in Nevarra at the age of ten (Kylara was unaware of her eldest brother, Leland – who was already in the Ostwick Circle – because she had only been three when he had been taken by the Templars), Kylara became very angry at her father for sending him away. As she screamed and cried, her own magic suddenly flared, wild and nearly unmanageable. Due to her immense power and her lack of control, her father was terrified of his daughter becoming an abomination. He immediately called for the Templars. They used Holy Smite to drain Kylara’s mana and then gave her some herbs that put her into a deep sleep. As they were in Crestwood at the time, the Templars quickly took her to Kinloch Hold.

Her father was worried that if Kylara remembered her past family life it could cause her to lose control before she was properly trained. He sent a letter with the Templars to the first enchanter of the Circle if there was something he could do to make Kylara forget her past, which Irving did.

As it turned out this was a good thing for Kylara because it allowed her to focus on her studies. She excelled and quickly became a favorite pupil of many of the mage instructors, Irving included. She also made many friends while she was there.

Anders was twelve years her senior, but he loved many of the younger mage students and mentored them as a “big brother”. Despite their age difference, Anders was easily one of her closest friends. She was crushed when he ran from the Circle when she was thirteen. Kylara also had many girlfriends. Her best friend was Sarita – a city elf from the Highever Alienage. When she was seventeen, she also became friends with a young Templar by the name of Cullen.

Sadly, not all friendships turned out to be true. Jowan was a young boy of ten when she first met him. Being close in age, they became friends… but as they grew older they drifted apart. Just after her Harrowing, Kylara not only found out that Jowan was in a forbidden relationship with a Chantry initiate, but that he was also practicing blood magic and had plans to destroy his phylactery so he could escape the Circle with Lily. She reported this to Irving, who then had her lead Jowan and Lily into a clever trap. Once Jowan found out that his friend had betrayed him, he swore that one day he would get revenge…

(* Again, lots of things in here that I made up to cover up any gaps and/or inconsistencies. I also call it a creative license as a FanFic writer… lol!)

Leadership Style and Preferences: Kylara would not want to call herself a leader, despite Alistair deferring to her once she had become a Grey Warden. While they were traveling together during the Blight, she spent the next several months helping Alistair to build up his own confidence and belief in himself. When she has had to step into a leadership role, she does try and listen carefully and have all of the facts before making a tough decision. Has she made mistakes? Sure even the best-informed individuals can still make the incorrect choices.

Favorite Companions (up to 3): DAO – Leliana, Alistair, and Zevran // DAI (Kylara will not be my quizzy… but someone you have heard of will be! Leaving it there to hopefully prevent any spoilers!) Dorian, Iron Bull, Cole

Least Favorite Companions (up to 3): DAO – Oghren, Sten // DAI – Sera, Vivienne, Solas (It isn’t that Kylara and my future quizzy hate these people, but rather that they just tend to disagree with them more often than agree…)

Mages or Templars?: Mages

Who Was Left In The Fade?: Warden Stroud

Who Rules Orlais?: Empress Celene and Briala

Favorite Advisor: Cullen and Leliana

Hobbies: (Back to Kylara now…) Reading, Cooking, Chess, Spending time with Alistair, and practicing her magic.

Familiar: Kylara doesn’t have a familiar, but she does have her beloved Mabari, Winston.

Scars/Tattoos?: Fighting during the Blight has given Kylara numerous scars. Arrow scars – one in her left shoulder and two in her lower abdomen. Desire Demon claw marks on her chest. A dagger scar across her stomach. Werewolf claw marks on her upper back… and many other scars from fighting numerous darkspawn and the Archdemon at the final battle of Denerim. Despite these scars, Alistair tells her every day how beautiful she is and how lucky he is that they are together.

Favorite Flower: Roses (for obvious reasons!)

Favorite Stone Or Gem: (Minor Spoiler if you haven’t read Kylara’s Story yet…) One evening, Alistair had told Kylara that the Joining had taken away her ability to have children. Devastated and heartbroken, she fled from the camp. Alistair found her by the shore of Lake Calenhad and began to comfort her. What then started off as sweet and tender soon turned wild and passionate. Kylara felt her magic flare up inside of her and not knowing what else to do with it, she directed it into a nearby boulder. Once things had calmed between her and Alistair, she touched the rock… and it split open! Inside were strange crystals that mirrored both their eye colors when they fought darkspawn – bluish/silver for Kylara and golden for Alistair.

The next morning, Alistair chipped off a few of the crystals and secretly had them made into necklaces for Kylara and himself. The next time they made love, they found that the crystals were able to hold excess magic (for Kylara) and excess energy (for Alistair). As their journey progressed and their bond deepened even further, the crystal’s magic began to grow and change… allowing Ali and Kylara to communicate telepathically and feel each other’s emotional states.

After the Blight, Kylara was able to finally talk with First Enchanter Irving about their crystals. He said they were called Aventurine (sorry, yes… borrowed from D&D… 😅) and that they were incredibly rare and special. When two people are meant to be with each other, despite numerous obstacles and odds against them, these crystals can form when that bond is born from their love.

Kylara and Alistair still wear these crystal necklaces to this day.

Weaknesses: As mentioned before, Kylara can be a bit hotheaded and sometimes her temper has gotten the better of her… more so when she was younger. The years have mellowed her quite a lot, but she can still get up in someone’s face if they say something that truly angers her.

[freedom-of-fanfic]

Many do not come from a genuine place of being anti against one particular ship. Trust me when I say the ship they love is just as problematic as the one they hate. It’s called jealousy, immaturity and being bored with a side of getting off on attacking others.

oh, trust me - I know anti-shippers have never met a double standard they didn’t like. I’ve talked at length, over and over, about how the ship that gets derided as problematic based on the Fandom Anti Trinity of Evil (Pedophilia, Incest, and Abuse) is nigh-arbitrary, decided after anti-shippers have collectively settled on their preferred ship(s) and have time to figure out what’s wrong with everything they don’t like. After all, with the expansive way that fandom antis define the Trinity of Evil, pretty much any ship can be classified as falling under at least one of them.

when I write about ‘why antis do the thing’, I’m not taking a look at the reality of the situation - which is that their standards for purity vary widely from ship to ship & their efforts to enforce their standards are mostly dependent on what kind of emotional/social/etc gains can be gotten out of enforcement. Because while I’m sure that some fandom antis are absolutely aware of their own hypocrisy … most of them honest-to-god have no idea that they’re so two-faced. They genuinely think they’re internally consistent and gloss over the evidence that they’re not.

When i ask why antis do what they do, it’s me trying to understand their internal world. 

What lets them maintain the fiction that they are logical and fair-minded? What mental flowchart do they follow? what internal justifications do they maintain for the inconsistencies they can’t hide from themselves?

simply speaking: Making an effort to understand the thought processes of fandom anti-shippers makes them less frustrating for me. But this approach doesn’t work for everyone.

“It’s called jealousy, immaturity and being bored with a side of getting off on attacking others.” 

I get you. you’re not the first person to tell me that actually, anti-shipping is very simplistically and obviously motivated, and all the posts on this blog talking at length about how and why antis do what they do seem like a waste of time.

and hey: I have little doubt that jealousy, boredom, and the pathology of the empathy-deficient, immature mind* all play a role in this. tearing down popular people out of envy has always been a motivator for cruelty, and every year anti-shipping activity spikes during the northern hemisphere’s summer and falls again in autumn. Obviously, a lot of antis are still in school in some capacity.

and yet, I can’t see it as quite so simple.

it’s too controlling.

this isn’t just bored teens looking to pick a fight: it’s steady, sometimes fanatical, devotion to the cause of Cleaning Fandom Up. It’s a two-sided coin: a sense of justification and superiority when they enforce the rules on others … and fear of what will happen if they don’t enforce them. 

and the people who fall ass-backwards into this … wanting to be controlled.

It’s antis warning each other when they reblog from someone who is not among the anointed and the warned anti rushing to clean up without hesitation or further investigation (’omg ew thx for warning me #deleted! #ugh #pedophilia apologists dni’). It’s adolescents writing in to popular anti-shipper blogs and asking if it’s okay to ship a ship. It’s the popular anti-shipper blog mods saying ‘cut off anybody who disagrees with us. Cut off everyone older than you.They’re vile, evil, and want to hurt you’ - while simultaneously rewarding those who dig up proof of ‘problematic behavior’ by their enemies. While simultaneously being older than many of their followers themselves.

It’s the fact that so many anti-shippers simply parrot each other, and respond with a flounce or intense, personal fury when others contradict them - like you invalidated their very being, not just their arguments. It’s the widespread lack of interest in engaging with any counterpoint longer than a sentence. Its their absolute conviction that they are right and you are wrong. It’s their utter lack of interest in figuring out why they are so right and you so wrong on their own - a lack of desire to do anything that involves expanding their horizons beyond their little anti-shipper yard.

and fandom antis aren’t the only young people I see this kind of behavior in. many shippers just parrot what they’ve been told, or echo some part of anti-shipper rhetoric (’ship whatever you want - except if [x]’ is their rallying point.) Many fandom adolescents agree that we need rules, boundaries, people who tell us what’s okay to do or not do; they just disagree on what those rules should be.

It’s left-wing baby’s first authoritarianism, is what it is.

and the reason it’s worth detangling is because if we don’t starve and fight off the social and mental processes that lead us to yearn for a strong despot leader that we can rally behind, crushing all our political opponents before us, all we can hope for is a population that elects more world leaders like Trump - with politics more or less liberal than his, but inevitably controlling and always deadly.

tl;dr: anti-shipping is petty, sure. but it’s training - or continuing the training - of young people in submitting unthinkingly to authorities, avoiding critical thinking, and tearing down or destroying anyone to whom they consider themselves inherently superior (while feeling justified in doing so).

it’s hard for me to shut up about that.

EDIT: addendum post! (tl;dr version: “maybe ‘wanting to be controlled’ isn’t quite the right phrase. But ‘scared to make their own decisions without approval from the closest authority in their life’? yeah - a lot of fandom youth seem to be pretty into that these days.” )

(*adolescent brains are unusually preoccupied with themselves and how they ‘fit in’ socially; at the same time, they haven’t outgrown the childlike self-centered worldview that makes it hard for them to understand the thoughts and behavior of others apart from the effect it has on themselves. That’s why they’re particularly vulnerable to any school of thought that says ‘if it hurts, bothers, or otherwise inconveniences you, it’s actually evil and you’re within your rights to destroy it.’ (There’s a reason high school is a particularly hellish social experience for many people.))

[mild-lunacy]

The Fandom and Great Expectations

I think that it's part of the nature of fandom to want more, but only if that's just like the old stuff, mostly, with only a few things changed. It's a game of expectations: whether it's a ship you want (or don't want) or a favorite theory, or a character you have headcanons about. A lot of times people have valid critiques, obviously, but the nature of fandom for any ongoing series is that people like the stuff they saw in it at their point of entry. If that's what they like, it's going to be what they want to see more of. A lot of the issues people have with characterization being 'wrong' or the genre changing with Sherlock comes down to this. The alternative (or, most of the satisfied fanbase) isn't really those seeing the story for what it is so much as learning to project properly, so that what they see coincides with or follows their headcanons and personal wishes.

Does that seem a bit harsh? It's not that I'm immune myself. I certainly enjoy seeing the story 'my way' (say, the queer reading of Sherlock S4), and I don't begrudge people their enjoyment or bitterness, as the case may be. I do tend to have rather mild expectations, if any, though. I'm easily enough convinced by new evidence, and I don't need things to stay the same or even very similar. I'm definitely very nostalgic by nature, and enjoy my favorite tropes and a certain measure of predictability, but I don't view stories as a product that's catering to me, or a moral quantity that I ought to judge by its social usefulness (as is popular in fandom). This lack of expectation (even when I'm convinced I do know what's going on, as I was with Sherlock) is something that seems rather unusual in fandom. That's the biggest thing, it seems to me. I generally am happy to let the story do what it wants and aim to figure it out on my own. I mean, it's not that most people want 'warm paste' (at least with Sherlock), necessarily, but certainly the *same* paste, which seems reasonable. Even with this, I tend to be rather flexible, though.

Needless to say, this is all very well-known stuff, really, 'cause clearly that's why we're usually given more of the stuff we've shown interest in buying, with the dominance of mass media franchises. Ironically, perhaps, BBC Sherlock, while technically part of a sort of long-running Holmes multiverse franchise, was produced on an older entertainment model. It wasn't made to please the fans, or to satisfy the current resurgence of interest in media as social or moral activism, and the focus on minority representation for its own sake. It was made by and for the interests of the creators, to reflect and feed their nostalgia, their favorite tropes, satisfying their own desires. That's not a given, by any means. Not a whole lot of mass-marketed media is made this way anymore, and certainly little that has a really big fandom or is a franchise of some sort. Of course, that's not to say most popular shows are necessarily super sensitive to the needs or desires of their actual fans; some projection is involved on both sides. Popular enough properties tend to aim at the lowest common denominator, though. That's my point.

As for myself, I'm an old-school aesthete type of reader, and writer for that matter. I read fantasy and romantic adventure, primarily looking for escape and exploration, or whatever appeals to my aesthetic interests, whether it's good for me (and the world) or not. I write only for myself, though naturally I'm open to convincing and susceptible to flattery (I *am* a vain but insecure author, after all). Generally, though, this attitude means I'm very sympathetic to those creators who have similar motivations, and march to the beat of their own drummer. I'm always open to seeing fiction as a journey that I'm not in control of, a destination I cannot imagine. I have plenty of opinions and ideas about what 'makes sense', what's interesting, what works best, but in the end I'm a passive receptacle for the story if I'm interested enough to start. I want stories to sweep me off my feet, and so I tend to give them a wide latitude in determining where we end up together at the end. I can only imagine that most fans are more interested in staying with familiar ground, retaining a sense of understanding of the structure, keeping the underlying control. Expectations keep you grounded, and allow the audience to gauge whether they're receiving what they want from the experience. In a sense, they're also inevitable when emotional attachment to the characters is involved.

Anyway, questions like yesterday's comparison of John Watson's characterization seem to ask, 'why would a character change in a way that's negative?' More specifically, perhaps, in a way that contradicts one of the central tenets of many fans' understanding of John. No reason, no amount of emotional logic can really suffice as an explanation when the complaint is about this sort of unforgivable change. And then when people talk about how the show and specifically John's characterization is actually consistent, that only goes to show he was always an asshole who didn't really appreciate Sherlock. In other words, the important thing isn't whether S4!John is believable, but whether he's still giving the people what they want from his character. Not a shocking conclusion by any means, but something I try to keep in mind when thinking about people's critiques.

[tea-cub]

Fangirl Problem

I don’t know if anyone else has ever had this problem, but I’m going to come out and say it anyway. Feel free to consider it a little bit weird.

I’ve been a Sherlockian since it first aired; that’s eight years now and obviously Sherlock has been the fandom in which I’ve been the most active. I’ve written a lot of fanfiction, and read even more. However, I worry about my current relationship with it as I keep putting pressure on myself to produce Sherlock fanfiction.

This is a bit of an ongoing problem. I want to write Sherlock fanfic, however, I don’t think my heart and head is 100% in it and I’m actually struggling with figuring out how to write Sherlock and John as a pair. I want to be involved in the fandom, I want to bring some good stuff, but I don’t know if, with this fandom, I’m being true to my own desires. I always feel the lack of it when I’m not doing it but then when I am doing it I’m not actually sure how to write it and my hands can shake on the keyboard. In this fandom, essentially, I feel ‘constipated’ and a little obsessive and while I still enjoy it, right now I feel I’m doing better from the sidelines.

 My last few Sherlock fanfics have been produced with a marked deterioration of enthusiasm; it’s like my heart’s not all there and I keep obsessing over small details - ‘would John do this,’ ‘how would Sherlock do that,’ - and it’s causing me a lot of pain. I felt very lonely for a while, feeling unable to write anything and feeling the frustration of that. I honestly don’t know how I want to write them anymore and I used to be able to flow out. My best fics in the fandom are my older ones and I keep desperately trying to regain that which I feel I’ve lost; I feel I don’t have the gift anymore. I’m obsessive-compulsive and this has actually brought out my OCD tendencies; rumination, obsessiveness and mental rituals have been involved in my creating Sherlock fanfic and I just don’t enjoy it as much as I want to. It’s a shame, because fandom should be the opposite to stuff like that; it should be a distraction, an antidote, a means to feel better. Unfortunately, I’ve just made things worse for myself. 

I think I’m trying to recapture what was; I have such good memories of the 2010-2011 hiatus, when Sherlock was just starting, when Sherlock and John were unbreakable BFFs, when anything was possible, when John was kind and loyal, when less was more. I’m trying to bring up that same good feeling from the past - but maybe the way the show went changed my mind. These days, shipping Johnlock comes with a lot of angst, mostly because of John’s behaviour in Series 3 and 4, rather than that shared hope and happiness of Series 1 and 2 and I don’t have the energy for that. I never wanted a John Watson like that and part of me feels that after all that, he doesn’t really deserve Sherlock. I know it’s not really a case of ‘deserve,’ it’s about putting things right, but I guess I don’t know if I ship Johnlock in a platonic capacity, or in a platonic and romantic one. I genuinely don’t know how to see them anymore. It’s wonderful that people can still find meaning in their relationship, though and that they can still produce and bring wonderful content to the fandom. 

The good news is that I have found distraction and fresh mojo in the Check Please fandom. This has given me back my writing confidence - it’s what I need right now. I keep thinking maybe I should step back and leave Sherlock alone for a while, show, fics and all but there’s something about it that pulls me back. I want it, but it’s not necessarily what I need right now. I wish I had that confidence; I know I should just write and dump what I don’t like but I keep repeating the same stuff and I don’t know physically what I want to share with the world; what I feel comfortable writing down and sharing. 

That’s why I’m struggling. That’s why I’m half-in, half-out. That’s why I’m a little bit distressed. I enjoy this fandom, but feel I can’t partake due to my own obsessiveness and indecision. I just need to write what feels good to me, personally, and hopefully we can go from there. Maybe the sensible thing would be to walk away, but I honestly don’t know. 

Wish me luck.