#and how it contrasts with him in days where he's fairly happy (despite the agonies) with his friends

[rhythmmortis]

honestly unsure why people tend to make roxas the edgy and emo one in the sea salt trio. xion is RIGHT THERE

[stanskzseungmin]

SCB ~ Words From the Heart Often Cuts Deep

NonIdol! + Soulmate! AU

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2906

Prompt: Write something on your own skin, appears on the other’s skin as well

A/N: TW! Descriptions of self-harm are depicted in this

A/N 2: I’m not too proud of this... like at all, but screw it lmao. Also not proofread so we dying like MEN x2!

Everyone at birth is assigned a soulmate. It’s quite a beautiful story. The universe likes to give back to the world in the form of hope: hope that everyone is promised eternal happiness with a singular person that was decided on by fate. Everyone had their own method of contacting their soulmate or a radar or counter of sorts. 

Changbin didn’t know what his was in particular. He didn’t even know whether or not his gift was communication or a radar. His good friend Felix had a wattle counter. His hyung, Chan, had a counter that showed how long he’s been in the immediate vicinity of his soulmate. His dongsaeng, Jisung, also had a counter that will start the countdown once he’s interacted with his soulmate. Unfortunately for the three, all their counters are all stuck at a fat 0.

“Hey, this probably could mean that you’ve probably interacted with them before?” Jisung suggested, bringing his hands up.

Changbin mumbled into his palm, propping up his elbow on the table. Felix was casually rubbing at Changbin’s exposed forearm.

“Maybe it isn’t a counter at all?” Felix wondered out loud rubbing circles on Changbin’s flesh.

“How about you all get to work before I beat all your asses?” Chan grumbled slouched over his laptop.

“He’s just salty because his timer is stuck at zero,” Jisung whispered with his hand held up to his mouth.

“Your counter is also stuck at zero,” Chan groaned out rubbing his temples.

Felix giggled, still trying to examine Changbin’s forearm. His eyes furrowed in confusion as you spotted the word ‘useless’ forming on his flesh. Changbin ripped his arm away from the younger’s grasp.

“Can you stop molesting me now, Lix?��

~

Like Chan, Changbin didn’t necessarily obsess over his soulmate. If the stars had aligned to assign Changbin a soulmate, then he should allow fate to run its course to allow he and his soulmate to meet one day. Despite this, Changbin has always been a little self conscious about his arms. However, it was certainly not by how lanky it is, his arms could classify as weapons by how thicc they were, but the fact that it’s bare unlike the people around him having some sort of mark intricately tattooed on their skin by fate made him feel like a bit of an outcast. Changbin rolled down his sleeves until it reached past his wrists.

Changbin slumped down in slight defeat letting out a breathy sigh. He shook his head and straightened up, smoothing away the wrinkles on his shirt and readjusting his black snapback on his head. Changbin winced a bit when he felt a fleeting pain his torso.  Changbin tried to straighten up when the passersby eyed him warily. It lingered a bit for a few seconds, but it was almost painful. Changbin let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding as he hurried back to his apartment.

Slamming the door shut behind him, he tossed aside his backpack. The sack slumped down the wall to the floor landing with a light thud. Changbin quickly lifted up his shirt to examine his torso.

“What…?” Changbin whispered, running his finger over the red spot. Changbin winced a bit from the burning on contact, but there on his side just underneath his ribs were two oddly indented crescents that formed on his skin.

“Strange,” Changbin waved it off as he headed straight to the shower. It was a slow day-- one of those where time seemed to crawl at a snail’s pace. Changbin just wanted to have a nice cool shower, curl up under his sheets and sleep to recharge and start anew the next day and feel refreshed.

It was a fairly stuffy day. Sweat covered his body in a light sheen as his clothes seemed to stick to him uncomfortably like an itchy second skin. After shedding his long layers and discarding the fabric on the cool white tile of his bathroom floor, he started the shower, sticking his hand under the cascading drops of water checking the temperature. Satisfied, he went in. Exhaling in bliss as the cool water rolled down his tense muscles, Changbin closed his eyes taking in the refreshing feel. Changbin relished in the cool feeling as suddenly his skin began to crawl. His flesh quickly became red and raw as Changbin suddenly feel...hot. Too hot. Changbin let out pained screams. His excruciating voice echoed throughout the walls of the small room. His body was literally burning up as if boiling water suddenly surrounded him. His hand flew up as his hand flew up desperately grabbing at the nozzle and bumping up the cold water. The freezing cold water had a sharp contrast to his burning skin. It lessened the pain a bit, the cold water help sooth the red flesh. Changbin gasped and panted as light steam came from his body as a result of the cold water hitting his burning skin.

“What the fuck?” Changbin groaned. “Fucking STOP!”

As if on cue, the searing hot skin subsided a bit. The water is doing wonders to his skin. Bracing himself on the tiled wall with both hands, Changbin panted as his skin tingled painfully. Pulling back the curtain, he stumbles out as his leg gives out under him. He made his way towards his phone without bothering for a towel as he left trails of water behind him.

"Hyung? Hyung pick up," Changbin begged while listening to the ringing. After what felt like an eternity, Chan finally answered.

"Changbin? You alright?" Chan asked with worry in his voice. 

"We got a problem," Changbin sighed explaining the pinching pain he experienced earlier as well as his scorching hot shower.

"Are you sure you didn't accidentally bump up the hot water?"

"No," Changbin spat. "I'm not an idiot"

"Alright, alright," Chan surrendered. "It probably has something to do with your soulmate? It obviously isn't a radar or a counter… maybe it's a shared state?

"Who the fuck likes boiling hot showers?"

"I dunno. Some people do. Perhaps your soulmate is having a nice hot shower."

"Nice hot shower, my ass, I'm red all over and my skin feels so raw and sore that the air fucking hurts."

Chan sighs. "Just rub some cream on it and try not to irritate it too much."

Changbin grumbled. "Ok. Thanks, hyung."

Doing as he's told, Changbin eventually goes to bed, only sliding on a pair of boxers. Changbin changed the sheets to a thinner more lightweight one so it feels cool to the touch against his burning skin. Not that long after jumping in bed, he passed out stomach side down relishing on the cool sheets on his sensitive skin. 

It was a peaceful slumber for what it's worth. Eventually he wakes up with a searing pain on his arms. Changbin woke up thrashing and hissing in pain. Changbin shoots up seeing his sheets stained red as several slashes ran across across his wrists. The slashes were irregular: some deep, some light scratches as red oozes out in droplets.

"What the fuck? What the fuck?" Changbin growled out the final word as he rushes to run it under cold water. Changbin gasped in agony as the cool water made it sting profusely. Grabbing a clean rag, he applied pressure to the wound.

Perhaps that was his link to his soulmate, a shared state? A sinking feeling washed over Changbin. Was his soulmate...hurting themselves? The scalding hot showers...the slashes on his wrist.

In curiosity, Changbin scribbles on his arm with a pen. ‘Why would you do this to yourself?’

~

You sobbed to yourself sitting in your tub still fully clothed. Your clothes were drenched as the water overfilled past the rim.

It hurt. Everything hurt. Life seemed to be so very cruel. Everything seemed to border "not good enough." No matter how hard you tried, you can never crawl out of your hole. Not only that, it seemed likely that the hope of a soulmate that would share an eternity with you for better or for worse never appeared. Chuckling darkly to yourself that even at birth the universe decided you were not good enough for a soulmate. Unlike everyone you're surrounded by, your skin remained naked and bare since the day you were born.

As morbid as it is, you held an exacto knife within your hand and you began carving brilliant strokes watching the red flow out. Despite the stinging and searing pain, it felt blissful. The weights of the world and failure seemed to apply pressure to your wounded heart. Each cut seemed to alleviate the pressure and it was addicting. Dipping your arm back into the water with the intention of adding the pained words that describe your being, you brought the blade to your flesh.

Ugly. Useless. Disappointed.

You paused as your breath hitched. You gasped out seeing intricate black ink started penning onto your arm just above the cut.

‘Why would you do this to yourself?’

You froze. Your eyes widened as you felt your heart sank down to your stomach. You swallowed the lump in your throat.

Did you… did you really have a soulmate? Was this him?

Tears welled up in your eyes upon realization that you indeed had a soulmate and that you were hurting him as well. You quickly scrambled out of the tub, the water sloshing loudly as it splashed onto the tile floor. You reached for your bag that you left on the closed lid of the porcelain toilet, rummaging through its content searching for a pen.

'I-it wasn’t… I didn’t mean to!' you scribbled onto your flesh.

“You didn’t ‘mean to’ but it just happens right?"

You broke into sobs. Not only you burdened everyone surrounding you, but you also burdened the one you were fated to be with. You haven't met the man or know the tone of his voice, but you can practically hear the condescending tone and imagine his annoyed and disappointed look.

~

Changbin sighed to himself, running his hand through his dark locks. He didn't mean to come off as a douchebag. He was just so overwhelmed with emotion, his fated to be was hurting themselves. A million thoughts was running through his mind. Who were you? What has pushed you to the point of self harm? How could he help? Could he even help? He felt a pang of pain in his heart, but he didn’t even know you so how could he feel so...heartbroken as if he had known you for years.

‘Take care of yourself, ok?’ Changbin scribbled before heading back to bed.

“What happened to you?!” Felix’s voice squeaked out examining Changbin’s forearms and prodding at the slashes.

“Ow! Lix!”

“ARE YOU DEPRESSED CHANGBIN?” Jisung boomed. “That is a big no no, come here so I can hug your depression away.”

“Jeez, can you be any louder?” Changbin shushed looking around.  “I’m not depressed, ok!”

“You could’ve at least bandaged it,” Felix grumbled as he began disinfecting the wound.

“So it’s your soulmate?” Chan whispered.

“Jesus, Chan. You look like death!” Changbin exclaimed. Chan’s brown hair was heavily disheveled as his prominent dark bags decorated his pale skin.

“Sorry,” Chan shrugged. “I was trying to figure out your soulmate problem. I think your gift is communication.”

“Yea, I know,” Changbin folded up his sleeves, revealing the text he left.

“You should talk to them,” Jisung looked at Changbin with hopeful eyes. “Maybe they just need someone to talk to.”

“It isn’t my business though,” Changbin mumbled.

“They’re your soulmate, it IS your business,” Felix exclaimed.

“Just start it slow, don’t overwhelm them,” Chan suggested. 

Changbin’s shoulders slumped. “What do I even say?”

“I know!” Jisung beamed, raising a hand up.

“Oh no,” three boys’ voices rang out in unison.

‘Have a good day, ok? :)’ Jisung smiled proudly after scribbling the message.

“That’s...actually pretty tame,” Chan merely stated returning to his seat.

“What do you mean ‘tame’? What were you expecting?!” Jisung stammered at the eldest.

“The worst.”

“Felix!” Jisung whined.

~

‘Have a good day, ok? :)’

You chuckled softly at the words that appeared on your skin. Your heart completed leaps in your chest as butterflies erupted within you. You wiped away your tears as you saw a sight of that glimmer of hope: the hope of a soulmate.

‘Thank you. I hope you do, too :)’

~

Changbin and his soulmate has spent day to day leaving small remarks and comments onto their skin. Changbin’s heart swelled with joy knowing that he’s making a difference in his soulmate’s life. There were no more self degrading comments, scorching showers or deep slashes to the skin. There was the occasional deep chill, but you insisted that it was cold where you were. Changbin didn’t want to invade on your personal space so he never asked where you lived. Changbin was soon caught up in midterms as his workload stacked up so he never really had the time to write you small messages. It had been two weeks since Changbin scribbled onto his arm.

But not all good things seemed to last. Changbin was working on some music with his two buddies, Chan and Jisung. The three of them enjoyed writing music as music production majors. Changbin had earbuds in as he’s nodding his head listening to the sample Chan came up with.

“I dunno,” Chan started. “Could use a little more bass, don’t you think?”

Changbin nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, you could try-- Aah!”

“Changbin!” the two boys shot up from their seats to run to Changbin’s side. Changbin doubled over in pain as his thighs began to throb horrible and excruciating pain tore through the flesh. With shaky hands, he pulled back the thin fabric of his shorts revealing rather deep cuts and slashes that ran down his inner thighs.

“Oh my god, Changbin,” Chan gasped out. “Jisung get the first aid kit!”

The youngest jumped and scrambled out of the room, banging his hip ungracefully on the door frame.

“Changbin, are you alright?!” Chan tried to comfort the younger.

”Y-yea, but my soulmate-” Changbin gasped. 

Frantically, Chan reached for a pen that Jisung was previously fiddling with as he scribbled something on Changbin’s thighs. The slashes kept appearing and Changbin choked out a sob with every single one. Soon markings of a word began to form.

D I S A P O I N

‘Please stop, you’re hurting him and yourself!’

The slashes stopped momentarily as Changbin now had a moment to breathe.

‘I’m sorry. I thought it was ok to do it in a less obvious spot...’

‘In what world, did you think it was ok?!’

“Hyung, stop,” Changbin pushed his hyung off.

“Changbin! Every struggle is two ways, you’re hurting, too” Chan lectured.

“I’m here! I’m here!” Jisung barreled in with a red box. Chan immediately went to work disinfecting and bandaging the wounds. 

“Hand me the pen,” Changbin commanded as he winced at the stinging paint of the alcohol.

‘Why are you doing this? Stop.’ Changbin wrote on his forearm. 

‘I deserve this pain.’

‘Why are you saying this?’ Changbin’s heart broke at your last statement.

‘It just hurts so much. Living day by day in failure and never being good enough. No one cares about me. I thought you did. I thought you CARED!’

‘I did, but apparently, it wasn’t enough.’

‘You left me alone for two weeks, when I needed you the most.’

‘Well, I’m sorry. I have a life too.’ Changbin didn’t necessarily meant\ to sound harsh or snappy, but sometimes life gets in the way

‘I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I hope you’re happy.’

Changbin’s heart has dropped to his stomach. Changbin visibly stiffened up as he began to tremble. His breathing accelerated as he heard his heart thumping loudly in his ears as fear wracked his body.

“Changbin? What happened?” Chan asked warily reaching out to his arm.

“Hyung?” Jisung spoke out in a small voice, reading the text in his arm. “What does that mean?”

Confused, Chan stood up to stand by Changbin’s side to read the writing there. Gasping, Chan wrested the writing utensil from Changbin’s stiff grip.

‘Please stop. Don’t do what we’re thinking. Please, where are you?’

The atmosphere was tense and heavy. The only sound that permeated throughout the room was Changbin’s heavy breathing. 

‘Please,’ Chan scribbled once more. With shaky hands, the words came out similar to chicken scratch.

Changbin erupted in a fit of coughs as he stumbled out of his chair.

“Changbin!” “Hyung!” Chan and Jisung called bending down to his level and rubbing his back. 

Changbin fell to his knees as he doubled over gasping and wheezing. His hands flew to his neck as fingers frantically rubbed and scratched at the flesh. Chan and Jisung in a panic grabbed at Changbin’s arms to prevent him from injuring his neck. 

“Oh my god,” Chan gasped out in horror.

On Changbin’s neck were rope burns. The flesh was raw and red and slowly turning purple from the bruising. Changbin kept gasping for air feeling like he couldn’t breathe, but in reality he was breathing just fine. Black spots dotted Changbin’s vision as the world began to spin. Changbin collapsed into Chan’s arms unconscious as his breathing slowly steadies out.

Meanwhile, your world turned to black as you swung softly back and forth as you took your final breath.

[gracelessknights]

“I just want to do the right thing and what’s best for you.” “How would you know what’s best for me?” I asked sharply. “You’re not me. You have no right to make decisions for me.”

“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I tell her. “There are millions of people who have had their mother die. You did, as well. I’m not so unique. We all get through it as best we can.”

And yes, his sex life is fairly shallow; he’s admitted as much. But he’s clearly intelligent and kind. Not the soppy sort of kindness that seems to be more about showing off than actual caring, but a quiet, unobtrusive thoughtfulness that’s unexpected and lovely.

“I love you too, baby,” she said. “I really do. I want you to be okay. The rest of your choices are up to you. I hope to God you make the right ones.”

“If you say you’re in love with him, then I believe you. Please understand, however, that at your age very few loves ever last. You don’t know if he’ll just decide to leave you one day. Keep that in mind, okay?”

“You have ten minutes,” he told me. “Ten minutes to think about what you did wrong and how bad you feel right now. Are you ready?”…“There. It’s over now,” he said. “Now you look forward and figure out how you’re going to get better.”

Anything is possible if you give it a chance

“They’re your family.” Hades laughed. “No. Goddess lesson number one: Fear the family.” “My mom—” “Was a wonderful mother to you, I’m sure. But she still lied and deceived you at every turn.” He waved off my protest. “Consider yourself lucky. Our father tried to eat us. We all grouped together and killed our parents. Instead of drawing us closer, we spent the next few millennia ripping each other apart. Families think they know what’s best for you. Your friends let you figure that out for yourself.”

I trust him to be true to his nature, you need to trust those around you will be true to their nature. Even when it may appear that they are betraying who they are.

Aim to be better not bitter.

Some things are out of our control,” he said. “We have to learn to accept and adapt.”

Why drown in love when you can have so much fun swimming around in lust?

Who better to parent you, than people who have had to persevered through their life.

Be a catalyst for change

My aunts said I was dreaming when I said I wanted words to be a career, but my mother kept quoting Picasso’s mother. “Picasso’s mother told him if he got into the army, he’d be a general. If he became a monk, he’d be the pope. Instead he was a painter and became Picasso. That’s exactly how I feel about you. So do, Rachel, what you love.”

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions.

Demographics are destiny.

“Devils don’t come from hell beneath us. No, they come from the sky.”

Goodnight. Travel well.

“It’s not torture. It’s not making things worse. It’s not horrible. It’s not a fucking mistake. Out of everything don’t you dare say it’s a mistake.”

Learn before you burn.

I don’t think it [love] is someone who sweeps you off your feet. I think it’s someone who stays right beside you and let’s you walk on your own.

We can only do want we know.

We can only practice what we understand and he neither understands this nor does he value it.

“…,Im fine.” “Until you’re not. Then what? What am I supposed to do,…? Do you have an answer for that?”

Intentions don’t bloody matter if the end result isn’t what you expected.

I feel like you have the best intentions but you’re just making one mistake after another.

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.”

“I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified.”

Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

“Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting.” ― Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance

“Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt.” ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Of course it hurt that we could never love each other in a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons–something immutable, an immovable destiny we could never alter. No matter how cleverly we might shelter it, our delicate friendship wasn’t going to last forever. We were bound to reach a dead end. That was painfully clear.” ― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

“I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.” ― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

“That’s what the world is , after all: an endless battle of contrasting memories.” ― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.” ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Most people are not looking for provable truths. As you said, truth is often accompanied by intense pain, and almost no one is looking for painful truths. What people need is beautiful, comforting stories that make them feel as if their lives have some meaning. Which is where religion comes from.” ― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

“It’s easy to forget things you don’t need anymore.” ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Instruction does much, but encouragement everything. ― Letter to A.F. Oeser, Nov. 9, 1768

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. ― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. ― Christopher Columbus

Either you run the day, or the day runs you.                                                         ― Jim Rohn

What you plant today, you can harvest tomorrow.

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.  ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is not about where you impart your views, it is about the message itself. Speeches made on on a table in the cafeteria can sometimes mean more than words said in an arena with roaring crowds.

It’s not just a word. It’s the weight of it.

It’s not a small thing to give up everything you’ve ever known. But it’s not a small thing to give up Emma, either. If there is even a slight possibility he can have them both—Emma and his heritage—then it’s certainly worth fighting for.

“If you ever get caught in the undertow,” he’d said, “just let it take you. Just let it pull you right out. Whatever you do, don’t fight it and waste your energy and oxygen. That’s how people die. The people who don’t die wait it out. The undertow lets go eventually, right when you think you can’t hold your breath any longer. You just have to be patient.”

I wonder if other mothers feel a tug at their insides, watching their children grow up into the people they themselves wanted so badly to be. ― Jodi Picoult, Keeping Faith

You’ll never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. ― George Carlin

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art – write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself. ― Neil Gaiman

You need to spend time crawling alone through shadows to truly appreciate what it is to stand in the sun. ― Shaun Hick

Neither the sun nor death can be looked at steadily. ― François de La Rochefoucauld

Do not sit still; start moving now. In the beginning, you may not go in the direction you want, but as long as you are moving, you are creating alternatives and possibilities.’ ― Rodolfo Costa, Advice My Parents Gave Me: and Other Lessons I Learned from My Mistakes

It is never too late to be what you might have been. ― George Elliot.

Being there for someone when they need you, that’s all relationships are. ― That Awkward Moment.

Remember: It costs nothing to encourage an artist, and the potential benefits are staggering. A pat on the back to an artist now could one day result in your favorite film, or the cartoon you love to get stoned watching, or the song that saves your life. Discourage an artist, you get absolutely nothing in return, ever. ― Kevin Smith, Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent. ― Steve Martin, Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you put effort into your self and people will put effort into you

We find comfort in those who agree with us - growth among those who don’t. ― Frank Clark

Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition. ― James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. ― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain. ― Maya Angelou, Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

You wanna make a splash? Part the Red Sea.                                                       ― Harvey Spector

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.                                                            ― Mahatma Gandhi

Silence only perpertuates more silence

“Jesus, you’re so bloody…forward.” “You don’t get anywhere in life by going backward.”

I know that this woman isn’t just a prostitute, she is an heir. I know that this precious woman is a princess and was worth the King of kings to die for her. I know that she is worth more than $20 dollars for 4 hours and that she is treasured beyond belief. I know that she is valued and loved to an extent I will only know in heaven.                                                                                               (A Christian article I read a while back)

I’ve learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel                                               ― Maya Angelou

Name one thing you can’t live without. Emma Stone: Love. In whatever form it takes.

It would make more sense to have birth control for men because .. There’s a better chance to shoot on an empty gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest.

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.

i’m still not sorry but I understand.

Don’t wait for the future. it’s all hit or miss

Do what you can for as long as you can

Visual escapes are crucial only due to the psychological factor it pertains

I love my community so i wanna help it

Education should never have a political agenda.

“She stared into the fire for some time, thinking about what she had in her life, and what she had given up; and whether it would be worse to love someone who was no longer there, or not to love someone who was.”                                  ― Neil Gaiman

As for courage and will- we cannot measure how much of each lies within us; we can only trust there will be sufficient to carry us through the trials which may lie ahead. ― Andre Norton

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous. ― Alfred Adler

Is the holocaust an aberration or reflection of who we really are. 

I found myself surrounded by people who celebrated intellectualism and engagement and who thought that my ironic oh so cool disengagement wasn’t clever or funny but like it was a simple and unspectacular response to complicated and compelling problems.                                                                   ― John green

Just because you’ve done something throughout your life, it doesn’t let you off the hook for it. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Stop using familiarity as an excuse.

You’re doing what you can and that’s all that matters.

Treat yourself like you would treat a small child.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over again.                                                                                                ― F Scott Fitzgerald

“I don’t know anything with certainty, but seeing the stars makes me dream”

The only thing you need to do anything is the time and motivation

Adjust your sails according to the wind

“Then suck it up, take responsibility for your own mess. And get your head back in the game. ”

Learn something with the intention of teaching it.

You’re the only person who has control over who you become.

Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

‘When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow’

“Need covers itself with love … but need is never love. Always beware of the one who needs you. There is always a want behind a need, you see”   ― J Lynn Armentrout

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. And if you’re not taking a chance, what the hell are you doing anyway!” ― Ted Mosby

This is the problem I have with religion, people do too may things in the name of belief, or worse use it to prevent others from exploring external possibilities.

So here’s my advice study broadly and without fear. Be vigilant in the struggle towards empathy ― John Green

Being afraid isn’t a weakness, Alex. It’s only a sign of something you must overcome.” ― J Lynn Armentrout

“We would all believe in God if he served our every whim. Belief is not about an easy life. Belief is soemthing you have regardless.”

“Sit down, take a deep breath. And let mommy take care of it… just like she always does.”

Small mishaps don’t count a fuckups by the way -me

It’s not a problem, its challenge

Take the game seriously, but remember it’s just a game

“Even when you grow up and move away, its important to come home. Ok?”

It doesn’t get easier… it gets manageable.

Don’t set off running unless you can see the finish line.

Are you strong enough to carry your secrets

Escape-based choices are almost always disastrous, because they solve only half the problem. Target-based decisions at least have a shot at being successful, so keep that in mind every time you have a significant choice to make. Don’t be pushed away from what you don’t want; let yourself be pulled toward what you do want. I’m not saying your end goals can’t change—of course they might. But don’t tell yourself, “So what if this isn’t what I’d hoped for? Heck, it beats what I’ve got.” You deserve better.

Understand that there are no “wrong” decisions.

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences. ― Robert Green Ingersoll

“The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Clarity and focus doesn’t always come from God or inspirational quotes. Usually, it takes your mother to slap the reality back into you. ― Shannon L. Alder

The mother memories that are closest to my heart are the small gentle ones that I have carried over from the days of my childhood. They are not profound, but they have stayed with me through life, and when I am very old, they will still be near … Memories of mother drying my tears, reading aloud, cutting cookies and singing as she did, listening to prayers I said as I knelt with my forehead pressed against her knee, tucking me in bed and turning down the light. They have carried me through the years and given my life such a firm foundation that it does not rock beneath flood or tempest. ― Margaret Sanger

It really takes the pressure off if you understand that every experience you have, whether you characterize it as “good” or “bad,” is exactly the experience you need to have at that moment. Some choices may lead to more painful lessons than others, but living life in fear of living life is no way to live.

When I was trying to decide whether or not to go on my trip, I had a friend who flipped a coin and made me commit to the outcome. Life involves some risk. Flip the coin and see where it leads you.

William Parrish: I thought I was going to sneak away tonight. What a glorious night. Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly perfect memory. Sometimes we had our ups and downs. But we’re all together, and you’re mine for a night. And I’m going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, “I don’t want anything more.” Sixty-five years. Don’t they go by in a blink?”                                                                                                     ―Meet Joe Black

William Parrish: I want you to know how much I love you, that you’ve given a meaning to my life that I had no right to expect, that no one can ever take from me.

Susan Parrish: Dad…

William Parrish: No! I love you so much. And I want you to promise me something. I don’t want you to ever worry about me. And if anything should happen, I’m gonna be okay. And everything’s gonna be all right. And I have no regrets. And I want you to feel the same way.

Susan Parrish: I love you, Daddy.

William Parrish: That’s why it’s okay.

―Meet Joe Black

[Watching the fireworks above the party before they depart]

William Parrish: It’s hard to let go, isn’t it?

Joe Black: Yes it is, Bill.

William Parrish: And that’s life… what can I tell you.

―Meet Joe Black

Joe Black: I don’t care Bill. I love her.

William Parrish: How perfect for you - to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That’s not love.

Joe Black: Then what is it?

William Parrish: Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging - it’s missing everything that matters.

Joe Black: Which is what?

William Parrish: Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.

Joe Black: So that’s what love is according to William Parrish?

William Parrish: Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I’m talking about.

Joe Black: Those were my words.

William Parrish: They’re mine now.

―Meet Joe Black