#and her getting upset at impostor because she thinks they think you can't be true friends if you keep secrets (they don't think that)

[neodiekido]

as much as i adore the training trio and makis dynamic with kaito i do love how danganronpa s shows her branching out more and expanding on her utdp friendships with chiaki and chihiro. it gets me a little emotional... she's finally letting herself connect with others and have friends even if they don't know everything about her yet....

[uraniumnm333]

rui mafuyu toya and ena shuffle unit (AKA parental issues club)

i feel like rui and mafuyu would already get along well because they both kind of see themselves more as an observer than an actual person who can do things. rui is the director because he's afraid to be human in a way the rest of his troupe is. he's used to being outcasted. and mafuyu is *gestures vaguely*. she's literally an impostor in her own life, in a way. nothing she does is something she really wants to do.

toya is here because i think he can also relate to this stress. i mean his dad forced him to play piano n whatnot so like. he Gets It. there's a special kind of "i'm not real" you have to feel to be able to live through that. also mafuyu and toya relate through the "my parents force things upon me and i can't say no" feeling.

and ena !!! do i even have to explain bc girl works so hard for her art she takes night classes n shit whatever else. she will do anything for validation and we know that she's upset by the fact that she gets more likes on her selfies than her artwork. she's mad ab this and i'm sure on some level, she feels like she can't be her true self. and since we get to assume that nightcord simply doesn't exist here, she's left to continue basing her work off the feelings of others.

i dunno i just think they would all get along. i would say "oooo yeah they meet on nightcord" but i think that's just the easy way out atp bc like. everyone does that. :skull:

[emilia3546]

Shadowsinger Part 16 - Gwynriel

ACOSF Spoilers! Do Not read this unless you have finished ACOSF and the Azriel bonus chapter*

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

*****

Maddy was practically dancing with joy when Azriel's shadows cleared and she spotted a head of auburn hair beside him,

"You brought her!" She squealed, then calmed herself down, just long enough to make sure Azriel wasn't an impostor, "The stars are bright tonight."

"They shine with the moon." Gwyn narrowed her eyes, and Azriel chuckled, "It's a code, only Maddy and I know it, and now you, it's to ensure that neither of us is compromised." Gwyn nodded, and glanced around the clearing, "It's just us, I meet them one on one, some don't know the others' identities, Maddy does, but she's my second." 

"Okay," Gwyn nodded, and turned her attention to Maddy, "You were at the Hewn City, is that where you work?" Maddy shrugged,

"At the moment, but I can get into pretty much anywhere, although I'm not usually a 'guard' I was lucky that no-one noticed me last time." Azriel huffed in agreement, and Gwyn raised an eyebrow at him, "He thinks I'm reckless."

"Azriel said that?" Gwyn nudged him in the ribs, "You're one to talk!"

"Moving on," he muttered, rolling his eyes as both females lapsed into giggles, "Cauldron spare me," he mumbled, waiting for Gwyn at least to stop to breathe, "Maddy, c'mon, shut up." She snorted once more, but she did mange to quieten down, laughter still dancing in her eyes as she looked between Azriel and Gwyn. She was calm, relaxed, still alert, but she grinned at Gwyn as Azriel explained their position, and she smiled back, oh she could definitely get on with this. 

"I'll keep an eye on Keir, I wouldn't put it past him to try and stab you in the back with the darkbringers."

"Neither would I," Azriel's eyes were dark, his face near-unreadable as he spoke, "I've contacted those I can on the continent, but I want you on standby to head over there if we need." Maddy nodded, 

"What's Gwyn's role in this?"

"I'm helping Az with plans and communication, and I'm backup, I'm not planning on going into the field, if I fight, it'll be with my sisters,"

"You have sisters?"

"I had one, a long time ago, but I meant Nesta and Emerie, if it comes to fighting, I'll fight with them and the Valkyries." Shadows gathered around her at the mention of Catrin, and she could almost sense Azriel's worry for a moment before she smiled again. Once Azriel had finished with his list of discussions, Maddy grinned at Gwyn again, and pulled her aside, 

"I thought he'd never bring you along." She whispered, "He's such an idiot, he seems to think we might scare you off."

"He is an idiot," Gwyn glanced around to check that he wasn't listening, "But he's my idiot. And I'll be coming along all the time now, he was just waiting for me to ask, to say that I wanted to come." She offered Maddy another grin before crossing back to Azriel, and gripping his hand,

"Gossiping about me?" He chuckled, but before Gwyn could deny it, wind was rushing in her ears as he winnowed home. Gwyn stumbled on landing again, but kept her feet, somehow it was easier than when Rhys had winnowed her before,

"Az, why is it different when you winnow than Rhys? Isn't it the same?"

"Actually, no, I sort of shadow-winnow I guess, it's not true winnowing, so it different than when someone who can properly winnow does it, but I prefer it. I don't like it when Rhys winnows me anywhere, it's weird." Gwyn snorted,

"I know what you mean, it's disorientating, but you're not much better."

"Azzy? is Gwyn with you?" Gwyn stepped around Azriel, and grinned as she saw Theia stepping out of the house, 

"Oh, good, I just got a rather worrying letter from a friend, from Ironcrest." Gwyn didn't notice herself grasping Azriel's hand, didn't notice the way she looked across at him, unconsciously willing him to relax, 

It'll be okay, we'll fix it, whatever it is. Breathe. There was no way he could hear the words, but she thought them anyway, and he did seem to calm,

"Let's go inside," Gwyn muttered, following Theia towards the downstairs office, leading Azriel behind her, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hands, and smiled when he stared down at where their hands joined. She could almost hear the thoughts running through his mind at that moment, so she gently lifted his hands, and softly pressed her lips against them, "These hands saved me, Az, you have nothing to be ashamed of." She whispered before finally going inside.

"Apparently Ironcrest is split down the middle, those who stayed, who are loyal, and those whose families have gone, who are accused of being rebels, I don't know if they all are or not, but she's worried that a civil war might break out if nothing is done."

"But the rebels themselves aren't back?" Azriel's voice was still strained, worried, but he still managed to keep a air of calm around him,

"No, it's just their families, wives and children, they're being threatened and picked on, I don't know what you can do about that, though."

"We can certainly do something, I'll head over there now," Gwyn nodded, 

"Let me just grab something for my hair, I'll be right back,"

"No, I'd like you stay here, Gwyn,"

"What? But-"

"It's sounds really unstable, you'll be a walking target for both sides, just let me go and check it out so I know what we're dealing with." She could push him, could force him to let her go, but it would only upset him, and her being there probably wasn't necessary, especially if he needed to be unseen, it was easier to hide alone. She sighed, 

"Just be careful, and be back as soon as you can."

"Thank you." He leaned down to kiss her quickly before slipping away, with Gwyn's gaze following after him as far as she could see him. She started at Theia's hand on her shoulder,

"He'll be fine, he's our Azzy." Gwyn huffed, but stayed staring after him, 

"I do worry about him. Especially at the moment, he still thinks I'll see this other side of him and leave, that his family will leave him, and he'll be on his own again. He doesn't quite understand that he can't scare me off." She finally turned to Theia, and found only understanding and hope in the female's face, "I don't know what to tell him to make him see that. War is horrible, but he's not, he's not, and he won't see that, he thinks he's irredeemable because of how he's been forced to survive," tears filled her eyes as she spoke, "And it hurts to see him thinking things like that, knowing that I can't make it go away, that I can't help him."

"You do help him. You should have seen him before he met you. You've brought him to life, and you've made them love you too," she gestured to the shadows hiding in the corner,

"Get over here, you busybodies," Gwyn chuckled, and laughed as they raced around her,

"Just tell him how you feel, all you have to do is be there, show him that he can't push you away, that you'll still be there through difficulties. It will take time for him to realize, for him to believe that he deserves you, but all you have to do is show him every day how much you love him." She chuckled at Gwyn's widened eyes, "It's so obvious, even if neither of you will admit it, just make sure you've got a contraceptive tonic," she joked,

"Oh, we're not, I mean, I don't think I can, not that I don't love him, and he's so gorgeous, but I just can't." Gwyn clapped a hand over her mouth, "I'm sorry, I just," she broke off at the tears in Theia's eyes as she closed the distance between them and cupped Gwyn's face in her hands,

"You can always talk to me."

"Thank you, I think I'll get there, but for now I'm still a bit scared, but less every day."

"We all are initially," We? Gwyn blinked her surprise, "Azriel thinks he was the product of an affair, and he's half-right, but I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth." Theia drew in a deep breath, and Gwyn waited, letting her gather her thoughts, speak in her own time. "It wasn't quite an affair, Azzy's father took what he could, but he couldn't take my heart, my courage, my love for my son, and whoever it was cannot take that from you. You are stronger than what happened, and it will take time, but when you want to make that choice, whenever it is, whether that is tomorrow or a hundred years from now, Azriel will be waiting for you, he will always wait for your choice." Gwyn smiled as she recalled his face when she had first kissed him,

"I know."

*****

It was difficult to hide in broad daylight, difficult but not impossible, and Azriel settled into a spot by the training pitch, almost wincing as one particular boy was beaten down again and again, insults spat at him, and it took all of Azriel's self control not to leap to his aid. He wasn't seeing that boy in that moment, all he could see was Cassian, remember the tears that he refused to allow to fall every time he took a fight for Azriel, every time Rhys' mother had to clean him up, every time the instructors punished him for something that wasn't his fault. Every jab from the other boys had him struggling not to squirm, their words were so similar to those old insults,

"Traitor," Bastard

"liar," Bastard

"Rebel," Bastard

"Where's Daddy gone?" That one hit home, and Azriel squeezed his eyes shut to avoid moving, only opening them at the sound of another voice

"Daddy's a traitor," Mommy's a whore. Neither of them had known what that had meant the first time it had been spat at them, both of them, but it was always Cassian who took the brunt of the insults, the beatings. And it was always Cassian who had sought the approval he had never been allowed to have from Illyria, and the way certain lords looked at him still made Azriel's stomach turn, made him want to punch their teeth in, but Cassian could fight his own battles, Cauldron knew he'd had to. The boy on the pitch shouted for the others to stop when he fell again,

"Daddy can't protect you now, little traitor." Azriel's heart bled for the boy, covered in mud, struggling to stand. He screamed when someone twisted his wing, and tried to crawl backwards away from them, but found himself crashing into someone's boots,

"Watch yourself, boy." The warrior shoved him back towards the other boys, and he fell straight back into the mud at their feet, curling into a ball to protect himself, sobbing at every hit. Azriel couldn't take it any more, and he cursed himself as he moved, crossing the pitch, ignoring every questioning glance, but he couldn't just watch,

"Hey! That's enough, leave him alone, can't you see he's down?"

"He's a traitor."

"Is he? And who decided that, you?"

"His father's gone with all the others."

"So? We do not judge the son by the sins of the father," Azriel spat as he helped the boy to his feet, catching him when he swayed on his feet and lifted him into his arms, "You lot are banned from training for a week. Understand?" They quickly nodded,

"Yes, Sir, sorry." They certainly knew who he was then, and the boy in his arms shifted and groaned in pain,

"It's alright, son, I've got you, can you tell where your mom lives?" He muttered an address just loud enough for Azriel to hear before his eyes rolled back in his head and flickered closed. The only signs of life were the slight rise and fall of his chest, and the sound of his breathing. Azriel nodded to the warriors across the pitch, and glared at the male who'd encouraged the bullies,

You and me, anytime. The other male dipped his head, breaking eye contact, and stepped away from Azriel, still glancing over his shoulder long after Azriel had left the pitch. There were clear signs of unrest as he walked through the town, some shops were empty, others full, others smashed to pieces, some houses too. He took a breath before knocking on the door that the boy had said was his mother's, and tried to offer a reassuring smile when a small female opened the door, cringing away from him when she recognized him,

"I haven't done anything wrong," she whispered, dropping her gaze to the floor,

"I know," she glanced back up, and gasped when she saw her son in his arms,

"Oh gods, what happened to him? Is he okay?"

"I think he will be. Some of the others took it upon themselves to single him out as his father's vanished with the rebels."

"Please, my husband is not a rebel, there's been some sort of mistake." She shook her head again and again as she gathered a bowl of water to clean her son up. "I don't know where he's gone, but he's not a rebel, please, I sent a letter, to, to your mother, you have to believe me, please."

"I do believe you, " Azriel said quietly, "I'm not here to question you, I'm here because I couldn't watch him get hurt any more, but I do need to understand the situation here, what more can you tell me?"

"I don't know a lot, the males clam up whenever a female is around, they don't stop us training, but they won't talk about the coming war, the rebels, or anything important around us, I've only heard a few things that I wasn't supposed to hear."

"Those are always the most useful things. Anything you have is great,"

"I suspect you already know that the rebels, and their sympathizers have gone, I don't know where, but there's been a lot of tension between loyalists and those left behind." She swallowed, and handed Azriel a cloth to hold while she went to fetch he healing kit, and she started in surprise when he started to help cleaning the mud off her son, "I've never met a male who'd help with anything like that," she whispered,

"You can't have met many decent males then,"

"No, I live in Ironcrest, I took the best there was, and I do love him, but he's still under the pressure from the others, the assholes, so he doesn't do any chores or anything, but he will sometimes cook for me, mostly if I've had a long day."

"It'll get there, one male at a time, it'll get there. You can help, raise your son to be a good male,"

"Will he come back? My husband? I didn't hear anything from him, one day he was here, and the next when I got back from fetching Callum from training, he was gone. No-one will buy my clothes any more, they say he's a disgrace, even my father looks the other way when I pass him on the street. My mother has been slipping me money, but I'm scared my father will notice, I can't survive without it, but if he catches her," she didn't need to finish her sentence for Azriel to know what she meant. "I know it's the same for others, some have brothers or sons that can still help, but anyone who doesn't, they won't accept our work, I used to be known as the best seamstress in Ironcrest, now nobody will buy my work, they say it's tainted with betrayal." Tears welled in her eyes, "And every day, Callum comes back with more bruises, I know sometimes getting a few little injuries are a part of training, but it's worse than ever before, I worry that one day they'll kill him,"

"I won't let that happen," Azriel swore, "I'll get back to Velaris, and we'll figure something out, thank you, write to my mother if you need anything else, or if there's anything else that happens,"

"Of course, thank you, Azriel." He nodded before slipping back outside, waiting for her back to be turned before leaving a little pouch of coins on the side, vanishing before she could turn back to see it.

*****

With Azriel gone, all Gwyn could do was find Nesta and Emerie, organize the Valkyrie trainees they already had, and plan for training the Illyrian females. There were some who had done some training, mostly youngsters, but Gwyn would never consider putting children in harm's way, never. Nesta huffed when they finally finished the numbers, 

"We only have thirty priestesses, and only fourteen who could possibly fight, but fewer who would actually do it." She muttered, "And Illyria, what was it, Em, about a hundred?"

"Yes, that have already had some training, but we should have time to get some intensive training set up, we can gather those who wish to fight into a new, temporary camp perhaps, get some of those more agreeable males to help training them, I doubt Az and Cass will be able to get over there often, we might be able to be there a bit more though." Gwyn nodded, 

"If what Theia said is happening is widespread, we may need to move some families for now anyway, are Rhys and Feyre back?" 

"I don't think so," Nesta said, "Feyre said she'd let me know when they got home, they're still inspecting the darkbringers as far as I know." She tried to hide it, but Gwyn couldn't miss the flash of worry in Nesta's eyes, and she smiled encouragingly at her, laughing when her head snapped sideways, to the doorway, to the crying. Cassian immediately handed Nyx to his mate,

"I don't know how to stop him crying," he admitted, and Nesta gently rocked him in her arms, crooning softly to the child, and he quietened for a moment, but wailed again, and Gwyn whispered for the shadows around her to go play with him. He screamed in delight when one of them tickled him, grabbing out at them, and giggling in delight. Gwyn smiled, and jolted at a gentle elbow in the ribs from Emerie,

"I didn't know you could control them," she muttered,

"Not as well as Az can, but they like me apparently, so they listen. It's been pretty recent though, they used to just be sort of fascinated with me, and now they occasionally whisper to me, I can't properly understand them, but sometimes I get a couple of words, or a feeling or something," Emerie raised an eyebrow, "You don't believe me!"

"I do believe you, I just think it's funny,"

"Oh shush," she muttered, "Stop that,"

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me like that,"

"Like what?" Emerie asked innocently,

"Like you're expecting some sort of grand reveal, you've been reading too many books," Emerie just chuckled and turned back to Nesta with Nyx, her face softening when her gaze landed on the sleeping baby. Emerie wasn't right for expecting some big declaration, Theia had said it was obvious, did Azriel know? Oh gods, she had to talk to him, it was getting dark, surely he would be home soon. At her worry and sudden confusion, the shadows darted back across to her, hiding her from view, and Gwyn swatted them away, mumbling that they were busybodies, but she did love them really, she loved more than just them. No matter how she tried to ignore it, to convince herself that it wasn't happening, she had to admit, she'd been falling for a long time now. Apparently so had Azriel and she wasn't going to run away any more, she loved him, and she wanted to make that choice, she wanted him, just him, for the rest of her life, and for some reason that thought didn't scare her any more.