#and he's terrified bcus now when he looks at scott all he can hear is a heartbeat and all he can smell is sweet and all he can think is PRE

[mummyscarian]

i love a life series au where they all crave the death games... they no its wrong but they cant help but want it more and more and more... something's wrong with them and they're horrified but they cant stop, and they can't admit to it, they can't admit they want to drive a sword into their friend's throats and see the blood flow and the life drain from their eyes as they chase the tantalizing promise of victory that's ripped away from them

some of them want to win so badly it burns and tears them up inside, and leaves them with ugly jealously and green envy of their own friends, people they love and care about, and they know its so wrong, but they just cant get rid of the prideful demon inside them, the burning desire to know what victory feels like, to have their image stained in glass forever, for the stars to, just once, favor them instead.

some of them want the bloodshed, they want carnage and corpses and to feel flesh tear beneath their blade (their claws their fangs), violence so ugly and cruel that its beautiful, violence so gruesome that their other friends would call them wicked and horrible and never look at them the same if they knew what they'd done, knew of the count of the bodies laid before them, and that it wasn't just because of the red clouding their minds that they'd enjoyed it

some of them want friendship, and isn't that twisted, because they have friends, these are their friends, and yet there's nothing quite as addicting as the soul-binding bonds formed through war and survival, is there? to know that this person, this individual, is so devotedly bound to your side, and you to them? that you both understand each other so mutually and explicitly, theirs hardly any need for words at all? in a world so cruel, their companionship seemed so eternal and bliss

some of them want to break that friendship. it's burdened them. that world was false, and now they must face reality, but how can they when they went through so much together, bore their souls to one another, and now it means nothing, and they must move on, and theirs no war to fight, no reason to protect, no reason to live and die and live and die again together? they want to sever their ties and make anew, but they can never get rid of it, because, in truth, their desire to break what once was was only because they had had it and now they simply cant live without it, or they'll be chasing it forever

the games ruined them forever