#and he can clearly remember loving Cal but he just can't feel it the same way anymore

[aerticent]

The only person Maven loved enough to want to always protect being Cal so much so that at every opportunity he had to kill Cal he either just didn't take it or set it up where Cal could potentially get out of it and then Maven lies to Cal in order to protect him from knowing that he isn't all gone because he knows Cal would never forgive himself if he had to kill Maven knowing that he was still just a scared little boy inside and then in Maven's final moments its Mare telling him that his relationship with Cal has been completely destroyed he knows he really lost everyone and he lost the only person left that cared for him at all so then he makes the decision to let Mare kill him because what does he have left besides a throne he never even wanted FUCK

[bandblogging]

Let Me Down Slow (Calum Hood imagine)

Pairing: Calum Hood x reader

Words: 2.2k

Requested: yes @yessii-i asked (short version): "a fic based on the song “Let Me Down Slow” by New Hope Club were the reader and Cal are best friends and the reader is in love w/ him and starts acting weird so he confronts them and when they confess he doesn’t reciprocate their feelings."

Summary: basically the request

A/N: I feel like this could've been more angsty sorry.

Also this is based on the song Let me down slow by New Hope Club, check them out I did for this and they are genuinely really good!

___

Been on the point of giving up

For over a year and a half you had been able to keep your feelings down and to yourself but now you felt like you were at the point of breaking. Calum had been your best friend for almost four year but you still didn't know what his reaction would be. At first it had crept up on you, thinking about him more, wanting to spend more time together. Suddenly he looked even more attractive to you, something almost pulled you towards him. It took you a while to admit to yourself that you clearly had a crush on him and even longer to accept that you loved him. The last thing you needed was to ruin you friendship but you felt you wouldn't have a different choice for much longer.

If all is fair in war and love

Then why do we fight?

For a whole week now you hadn't talked or seen Calum, the longest time in your whole friendship. You couldn't bare the sight of him flirting with other girls or running after them. Last week had ended with a fight between you two, about something really stupid and unnecessary. It might have been about a TV show or something but you couldn't even remember, it had been that stupid. Those fights had become more frequent, often started by him, challenging something you had said.

'Cause we don't really talk about life no more

Tonight however you were seeing him again, there was a small get together at his place and surprisingly you were explicitly invited. He had texted you just that morning, breaking the silence and reminding you about it. A spark of hope grew in your heart and a grin formed on your face. Maybe there was still a chance that things would go back to how they used to be.

In the back of your head however you knew that you couldn't keep your feeling from him for long. You loved him and even though you didn't want to lose your friendship you didn't think that just being friends would work for you. You had practiced saying the words to him what felt like a hundred times in the mirror already but none of them felt right. Usually you could read him pretty well but thinking about his reaction you didn't have a clue. Maybe he was really good at hiding his own feelings and you weren't the only one feeling this way, but maybe not. He could just as well feel absolutely nothing for you and not want a friendship when he hears this.

The plan was to see how this evening would evolve and depending on the outcome you'd finally tell him. So you got ready and took a uber to his place. You recognized a few cars along the street and guessed that the place was already kinda crowded.

Your suspicions were right, the living room was full of people and you found Calum in the kitchen. You placed the snacks down on the table and went up to greet him. "Cal, how's it going?", you asked him and smiled. "Y/N, drinks are in the fridge-", he said but got interrupted by a friend of his. He didn't even smile at you when he disappeared with the other guy and left you alone in the kitchen.

When the night comes crawling, I'm holding on

You felt your throat close up and your heart dropped. He had immediately destroyed the little bit of hope you had left. You couldn't understand his action, couldn't wrap your head around it. You were the one with feelings, you should be the one to act weird not him.

The others were deep in conversation when you joined the living room and you looked for a place to sit down in peace. A few people threw some greetings towards you as you passed them and after a few short words you found an empty chair to sit in. You sipped on your drink, not really interested in getting drunk.

People came up to you and even though they were your friends you weren't in the mood to talk. There was just one person that you wanted to talk to but he was on the balcony, having a smoke and laughing with others. You felt yourself stare at him and tried to break your gaze but he still met your stare. You turned away quickly, embarrassed by his eyes boring into yours.

When you looked back most of the others were back inside and he was stood outside with a two girls, clearly flirting.

For something to change, tension to break

'Things aren't going to change' you whispered to yourself, looking into the bathroom mirror. You saw the dissapointment in your eyes and felt the knot came back in your throat, indicating tears. You swallowed hard, trying to think of something else. Somehow you managed to put on a smile and when you came out of the bathroom you fled into the next conversation you could find. The offered drink was a welcomed distraction and maybe getting drunk wasn't such a bad idea.

A couple of hours passed that way and Calum was at the very back of your mind, almost forgotten. You felt a bit tipsy, a certain confidence boost coming with it. You chatted with people you usually didn't talk much too and somehow ended in a conversation with someone you barely knew. He told you he was a friend of Luke's and that he didn't know many people, so you stayed with him for a while. It took you far too long to realize that he was flirting with you. Once you picked up on it you started to feel uncomfortable, you didn't want to lead him on. You excused yourself from the conversation quickly and made your way through the crow again. You bumped shoulders with someone and when you turned around to apologise it was Calum. "Oh, sorry", you muttered towards him but kept going.

There's something different in the way you look

You pushed your way through the people and went out onto the balcony. This wasn't you, you wouldn't usually act that dismissive of Calum but some part of you just did it. You leaned against the balustrade and stayed out there for a while. A couple people came outside too, smoking and chatting with you for a bit. Before they went back inside they said goodbye, mentioning that they were heading to a different party now. You wished them a good rest of the night and stared back into the dark backyard. You remembered nights were you stayed out there with Calum and looked at the stars, talking about stupid stuff and having a sleepover just like friends do. Back then you hadn't caught feelings yet and it had felt so innocent. Now you weren't sure if it would happen ever again.

A while later you turned around and for a second you were confused, the living room was pretty empty only a couple of people left. Most had probably gone to the same party. You wanted to push yourself off the balustrade and walk back in when you saw Calum. He had his armes wrapped around a girl, her sucking on his neck and surely leaving hickeys. You couldn't help but roll your eyes and look a bit disgusted. You were still shaking your head when Calum's eyes met yours and his blissful expression suddenly changed. He muttered something to the girl who begrudgingly let go of his neck and pulled away. He walked towards the balcony with an unamused expression. He shut the door behind him and you immediately knew this wasn't going to end well. "Honestly what the hell is going on with you?", he asked you and crossed his arms. "I don't know what you mean", you replied but didn't meet his gaze. "This isn't you, why are you acting like that", you could tell that he was annoyed. "I still don't know what you want from me, but honestly I can just leave that'll make it easier.", you threw towards him in a bratty tone and added a whispered, "can be me for once". "Lately you've been so-", he couldn't find the words and just huffed a few times, "-why Y/N?". "Why what? Goddammit Calum just tell me what bothers you, oh wait you don't want to talk to me", you crossed your arms too, copying him. He took a breath and took a step towards you. "Just tonight, you brushed me off multiple times, you left to some part of my home with some stranger and whenever I am with girls you look like you will murder them", he tried to keep his voice down but it wasn't working very well. "I am the one acting weird?", you asked outraged. "You didn't want to talk to me for a week and tonight you were the one that brushed me off. I thought we were supposed to be best friends.-", you took a deep breath, "-Also the guy, I literally showed him the bathroom and we talked in the hallway". You huffed and leaned back on the balustrade, staring at him. "You ignored my call the first time", he exclaimed but you quickly cut him off. "Because we were fighting, a fight you started by the way".

It was unusual for you two to fight and you didn't like it. This was the exact opposite of what you wanted to do with Calum but he had no right to talk to you like that. To you he was the one in the wrong, the one breaking your heart.

If you're gonna let me go

It's gonna hurt so choose your words

"Fighting? You remember how that started? You almost jumped a girl because you thought she was touching me without my consent even though I was clearly trying to hit that", he raised his voice. Remembering it made you wince quietly, jealousy really had struck you that night. "And now you again, why can't I make out with them. You don't have to choose them for me, I can do that myself. It's almost like you want to-", he suddenly stopped and looked at you, realising what was going on. 'Don't say it, don't say it', repeated in your head but he still went ahead. "-like you want that to be you", now Calum was the one staring at you.

There was silence, deafening silence. You didn't want to tell him this soon, not this way but now you didn't have another choice.

"Because that's exactly what I want Calum. Because I want to be the one that makes out with you.", you admitted and kept your head down. "I want to be the one you choose"

More silence, silence that was slowly breaking your heart. It was obvious now that he wasn't feeling the same and anticipating his words was hard.

Baby, let me down slow

"Y/N", his tone was apologetic and you swear you heard your heart break. "I'm sorry", he muttered out. The rest of your heart dropped and you felt your throat close up once again. This time however tears shot in your eyes and you could barely hold them back. You nodded your head in trance, waiting for him to say more.

When he didn't, you broke the silence. "I love you Calum, I can't just turn that off", your voice was shaking. He looked up and met your eyes. "I just don't", he whispered back. You let his words repeat in your mind a few times before the first tear fell.

If love is just a wicked game

Then why do we play?

You hated yourself for loving him. It was stupid, it was dumb. It only brought you heartache, you had a perfectly good friendship and you had to ruin it. Love had never been on your side and once again it was just there to hurt you. He stood in front of you, not moving, not saying anything. "I should leave", you manage to choke out and push yourself away from the railing. "Y/N", Calum's voice made another tear fall down but you knew this wasn't going to change anything.

If you're gonna let me go

It's gonna hurt so choose your words

"What does this mean?", he asked and stepped in your way. "It means that I love my best friend who doesn't love me back", your tone was bitter. He looked taken aback but didn't move. "For our friendship", he added. "For what's left of it?", you asked and a sad chuckle fell from you lips. "I don't know, nothing good I guess. I can't see you making out with girls, always wishing it was me", it was hard for you to admit but maybe this really was the end.

"Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while then", Calum's words hit you hard, so hard because they were right. "Maybe", it was more of a whisper. You moved around him and went inside, keeping your head down, avoiding the others.

Once the front door had shut behind you you couldn't hold it together anymore. Tears started streaming down your face and you were shaken by sobs. The way home was long and usually you would take a taxi but you needed the fresh air. It was hard to breathe between the sobs, the lump in your throat not helping.

Baby, let me down, oh

Everything was taken from you in one night, your love, your heart, your best friend, your friends and now your breath.

[deekersdiaperpage1988]

Bill"

BY CODY MATTHEW JAMES

III 2/8/05 Chapter 1 HOW WE MET BILL This story is purely fictional. Any relation of names to anyone living or dead is purely coincidence. All chapters must be read in order to maintain the context of this story. ENJOY! C.M.J. III "Here, let me help you with that," the voice sprang up from behind me. I lost my grip on the mattress my mom and I were moving into our new apartment. "You shouldn't be moving something that heavy ma'dam," the man said to my mom. I turned to see a guy walk past me and take the front end of the mattress from my mother's hands. "You shouldn't be using those lovely hands in that manner." "Oh…we really don't need any help…sir." my mom said. "My name is Bill," he said as he helped me carry the mattress into our apartment. "Scotty and I can handle moving our furniture Mr.…Bill," my mom said. "I've got a few minutes so I can give you a hand Miss…Mrs…" "Mrs. McCormick." my mom filled in. "And where would you like us to put this fine mattress Mrs. McCormick." Bill asked. "Through the hall, bedroom on the right please." "Done." Bill said. We placed the mattress on the box spring and walked back into the living room. "By the way, my name is Bill Stiles. I live in apartment 22 G, upstairs Mrs. McCormick." "Oh, please call me Jeanne." "I think Scotty and I can take care of the rest of the furniture Bill," my mom said as she put the pillows on the couch. "Nonsense Mrs. McCormick, I mean Jeanne. I just got off work and I was going to do my weight lifting when I got home. If I help Scotty bring in the rest of the furniture, I will be killing two birds with one stone." My mom blushed when Bill winked at her. "Come on Scotty. We can have this done in a few minutes." Bill said as he placed his hand on my shoulder and led me back out the front door. When we got to the carport, Bill took off his dark brown sports jacket and laid it on the front seat of my mom's car. I grabbed the last box of kitchen utensils and watched Bill pick up the heavy coffee table. I could see his arm muscles bulge inside his light blue long sleeve shirt as he lifted the table up and start walking to the apartment. "What do you do for a living Scotty?" Bill asked me as we walked down the long hallway. "I..." "Don't tell me...My E.S.P. says you are in the U.S. Air Force and you're a pilot in one of those jet fighters." "No, I'm..." "I know. You're an adviser for President Bush, right?" Bill asked. "No, I go to..." "You're a world famous college professor and you took some time off so you could help you mother move. Right." Bill interrupted me again. "NO! I go to school." I answered quickly. "Oh. Which school do you go to Scotty, Cal Tech, U.S.C., U.C.L.A.? "No, I will be going to Lone Hill elementary school this fall." "You're pulling my leg Scotty. I thought you were about twenty two years old." "When was the last time you saw a four foot almost one inch tall twenty two year old Bill?" "Last week I saw a three foot tall three year old." Bill said as we walked into the apartment. As we entered the apartment, Bill said "I take it Mrs. McCormick, the coffee table goes in front of the sofa." "You shouldn't have carried the heavy table all by yourself Bill...Scotty, why didn't you give him a hand?" Before I could answer my mom, Bill said "He's the supervisor. You can't ask the supervisor to give you a hand Mrs. McCormick." I really liked Bill now I thought to myself, he had a sense of humor and a great imagination. 'Let's go and finish off that trailer so your mom can get it back to the rental yard sport." Bill said. As we headed back out the door I told Bill "I'll see you out back in a minute. I need to do something first." "Okay see you out back Scotty." As Bill was heading to the carport, I went to my bedroom. When I looked in, I was glad my mom didn't make me take the sheet off the mattress this morning so she could wash it. The last thing I wanted Bill to find out was that I wet my bed. "Mom, don't take the sheet off my bed. I'll wash it later." I was glad that it was dark last night when we moved my bed and dresser over here from our old apartment. No one saw us move it in. We kind of snuck it in last night so they would not see the stains on my mattress. I had a great time my last night at our old apartment, sleeping in a sleeping bag with my best friends Matt and Kyle. It was kind of a going away party last night for my mom and me at our old apartment. I was going to miss Matt and Kyle, but my mom said there were some kids living in our new apartment building that were about the same age as me. If Bill looked into my room, all he would see is a mattress with a sheet on it that needed a blanket, and bedspread. "Bill, are there any kids in this apartment building about my age?" I asked as I caught up to him. "Kevin lives next door to me. He's about eight years old." "I was thinking about someone about eleven to twelve years old." "Well, there is a boy, his name is Samone. He lives upstairs in the rear about here." Bill said as he pointed to the ceiling over his head. "How old is he?" "He's about your age Scotty, eleven or twelve, but I need to tell you something about him first." "What?" Bill turned so he was facing me. "Samone is what they call mentally challenged. Do you know what that means Scotty?" "Sure, it means his brain is not working like it normally should." "I couldn't have said it better myself Scotty." "I had to work with some kids like that when we were filming a commercial for a PBS station one time." I told Bill "You're in commercials Scotty?" "Yeah, my mom tries to get me modeling jobs and some commercials every now and then to make ends meet as she says." "What kind of commercials have you done?" Bill asked as we walked back to the apartment. "Did you ever see a commercial about life insurance, almost five years ago. The husband and wife were talking about getting more life insurance as they stood over a crib looking at the kid sleeping." "Can't really say I did." "Oh, the camera was on me all the time and you could only hear the parent's voices in the back ground. They never showed the parents at all." "And the boy turns over onto his side and puts his thumb in his mouth?" Bill said. "Right, my thumb and mouth." Bill stopped in the hallway, and as I stood there for a second, he studied me. "That was you in the commercial Scotty. I remember those eyes." "Yeah, I did that one when I was six years old" "How did you land the job?" "My mom needed some money to make the rent, and they couldn't get any of the other kids to turn onto their side on cue. I was in the same studio auditioning for a shoe commercial when the life insurance sponsor saw me." "Did you get the shoe commercial too?" "No, my feet were too small, but with the insurance commercial we made the rent for about six months." "What about the PBS commercial, what was that about?" "That was a freebee my mom says. She wanted to get me more exposure on TV, so I was in a commercial about autism. It was entitled 'I have feelings too' "Sounds like you have had an interesting life so far Scotty." "What do you do for a living Bill?" "I'm into advertising, drawing up advertisements for a wine company, and I do advertising for some beer companies, too." "Need an almost eleven year old beer pusher?" "No, but we are expanding into some different fields this fall. How are you mechanically?" "I like to take things apart to see how they work, why?" "We just branched out into mechanical field last week. Think you could hold up the golden gate bridge in your hands Scotty?" "In one hand with my other tied behind my back." I said jokingly. "Where would you like me to put these lamps Mrs., I mean Jeanne?" "Those two go on either side of the couch, and that one goes in Scotty's bedroom." my mom answered. "I'll take that to my room Bill." I said as I put the last box down on the couch, and then Bill handed me the lamp. I took the lamp to my room and put it down on the nightstand. As I looked around the room, I saw the sliding closet door was open. When I looked down at the cardboard box, it was clearly marked: Diapers and plastic pants. I closed the closet door quickly slamming it against the doorstop. "Scotty, are you okay in there?" "Yeah, these closet doors close so easy, not like the ones at our old apartment." As I walked back into the living room, Bill was at the front door waiting for me. As we headed out back one last time, I asked Bill about swimming in the pool. He told me it was for the tenants and their guests use only, and the pool was heated year round. I ask him about the blond girl I saw swimming in the pool last weekend when my mom and I came over to sign the rental agreement. Bill told me her name was Cathy, and she was going to start collage this fall. When Bill saw the interest I was showing in learning more about her, he said that maybe he could get her to baby sit me sometime. I told Bill that I was almost eleven, but in my mind, I wouldn't mind her babysitting me anytime no matter how old I was. It was almost noon before Bill and I finished unloading the trailer and car. Everything was now in our new apartment. My mom thanked Bill and told him she was going to take him out to dinner as soon as we were settled for all his help. "I guess I'd better hit the road so you and Scotty can get settled in Jeanne." Bill said. "Bill. I'll walk out with you. I need to move my car." my mom said. As they left, I looked around the apartment. It was a big mess, but we were finally moved in. I went to my room and lay down on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I was so tired from being up early this morning. "Hey kid, crashing on me?" "No, I'm just tired from all this moving." "I need to get the trailer back, and I thought we could do lunch at McDonalds after." my mom said. "Naw, I thought I would take a nap for awhile. I guess the hot weather got to me." "Hey, are you coming down with something Scotty? My mom asked as she felt my forehead. "I don't think so." "You do have a little temp. Maybe you had better take a nap." I turned over on my side when my mom said "You forgetting something Scotty?" 'Mom, do I have to?" "Yes, we can't afford to buy you a new mattress yet, and besides, you don't have the mattress protector on your bed yet." I turned over onto my back and just lay there. "You're going to make me do all the work ,you little stinker?" "Do you like Bill?" I asked her "He's nice and pleasant…Where are your diapers, baby?" "In the closet on the left……What did you talk to Bill about when you went to move the car?" "Oh, a bunch of everything." "Like what?" "I told him I was looking for a sitter for you Scotty." "But mom, I'm almost eleven years old, I don't need a sitter." "Remember what we talked about last week?" "Yeah, I know you're working more hours but…." "No buts. Some nights I'll be getting home late, and I don't want anything bad to happen to my bright, good looking, honest, hard working sweet, precious, baby." "Aw mom." "What, you aren't my sweet precious baby?' she said as she took out two cloth diapers and a pair of plastic pants from the box in the closet. "If Matt and Kyle ever heard that sweet precious thing, I would be dead meat at school…..or would have been, for an entire year." "Aw my poor little boy." she said as she pulled my pants down as I lay there on the bed. After she took my pull-ups off, she slipped the double cloth diaper under me and pinned it, then pulled the plastic pants over my feet, up and over my diapers. "You have a good nap, and I'll take the trailer back. Be back in a while Scotty and do not answer the door." I turned over onto my stomach and went to sleep. I woke up when I heard the sound of a pan hit the floor in the kitchen. I looked over at the window to make sure it was still open. It seemed awful hot in my bedroom, and it was weird that no one was in the swimming pool outside my bedroom window on this hot Sunday. When I reached down to my crotch, I felt the wetness. It was a good idea to diaper me before my nap, otherwise it would mean me sleeping on the couch again tonight while my mattress dried out. I got up off the bed and went into the kitchen to see what was up. "About time you woke up Scotty. I thought I was going to have to wake you up to tell you it was bedtime." "I guess I was more tired then I thought." "How do you feel?" "Okay I guess." My mom felt my forehead "Your temperature is up." "Aw, I feel okay." "You go over to the couch and lay down. I'll go get the thermometer and a blanket for you. Now move." I went over to the TV to get the remote, then to the couch and lay down as my mom returned. "Let's put this in your mouth, or would you like it in the other end?" she teased me as she put the thermometer in my mouth. She put the blanket over me as I fidgeted. "Need to have your diaper changed?" "Naw, it's okay." "You're telling me the truth Scotty?" "I need a change." I replied. "Cloth diapers or pull-on diapers?" "Cloth diapers." I answered. I kind of figured that my mom knew that I didn't mind wearing diapers since I had so many wetting accidents, As long as I can remember, my mom had tried to get me into diaper commercials. The last one I tried out for was a holiday print disposable diaper after I had turned seven years old. I felt so embarrassed until I saw the other kids trying out. Compared to them I was one of the smaller ones. When I had a sleep over at my house with Matt and Kyle last year, I didn't know how I was going to get my diaper on without them knowing. When my mom said it was bedtime, Matt asked me if my mom diapered me or if I did it myself. I was shocked that he knew, then he told me he could smell the pee, and the baby powder just like in his baby brother's room. Then Matt told me that Kyle still wet his bed, and that he liked to wear diapers too. After Kyle and I were diapered by my mom, Matt walked back into my bedroom from the bathroom, naked, and asked if he could join the diaper party. My mom put a double diaper on him, but Matt never admitted he liked to wear diapers like Kyle and I do. When I saw Matt's erection, I knew he liked wearing diapers. "All done" my mom said. I felt more comfortable now with a dry diaper on. My mom took the thermometer out of my mouth "You do have a temperature, kid. Looks like your going to have to take it easy tomorrow." "I wanted to help unpack mom." "If your temp gets any higher, I'll have to take you to the doctor. Now, how about some dinner." "Like what?" "Since you didn't want McDonalds this afternoon, I got us some fish and chips." "When do we eat?" I said as I sat up quickly. Fish and chips were my favorite, even over hamburgers. "It's almost five o'clock now, how about in ten minutes?" When I smiled at her, she knew my answer. As we sat on the couch eating dinner and watching TV, my mom said "About your sitter, I talked to the apartment manager and he suggested that I hire Cathy Heather to look after you until school starts this fall. How do you feel about that Scotty?" I still thought that I was too old for a baby sitter, but when she mentioned Cathy, I was for that. "I guess its okay." I said. It was nine o'clock when I went to bed. Mom changed my damp diaper, and put clean sheets on my bed. She tucked me in, then kissed me on the forehead. I laid there after the light went out thinking about Matt and Kyle. They were probably sitting in front of the TV playing with Matt's game boy "Hey baby, going to sleep all morning?" my mommy asked as she sat down on my bed "Huh?' I said as I turned onto my back. "Need to take your temp, and by the way, Cathy is here to meet you." "Mom, I'm still in my…." "Hi Scotty. I'm Cathy Heather. I'll…" I pulled the covers over my head as fast as I could. "Looks like you have a shy son Mrs. McCormick." "Not really, we just caught him at a bad time." "Come on Scotty, let's see those pretty hazel eyes your mom told me about." Cathy said. "No." "I think he's embarrassed because he slept in his bare necessity's last night Cathy." "So we have a little Moglie here, you know, the boy from the Jungle book story." Cathy said "I think your right Cathy." "Scotty, I've been baby sitting most of my life, and I've seen everything." "Wanna bet." I said under my breath. "Come on Scotty, I need to take your temperature now, OR WE COULD DO IT THE OTHER WAY." my mom threatened. I pulled the sheet and blanket down to my neck, and there she stood. That beautiful blond haired girl that, some how I had fallen madly in love with even thought I'd only seen her once in her yellow bikini. Those blue eyes looking down at me and the perfect smile on that goddess sent tingles through my body. Her breasts were just the perfect size to match her fantastic body. "Are you done checking her out Scotty?' my mom asked. "Yeaaaah,…I mean no…..I mean I wasn't checking her out." "Sure, now if you could roll that tongue back into your mouth, I could put the thermometer under it." my mom remarked I felt my face getting red as Cathy was giggling while she looked around my room. "I will see you Wednesday morning Scotty…… Mrs. McCormick, I need to take off to sign up for my collage classes now. We can talk later, if we need too." Cathy said. "Thanks for stopping by Cathy, and please call me Jeanne." "Adios Scotty." Cathy said as she left. When I heard the front door close behind her, I said "Mom, why did you invite Cathy over so early. I'm still in my diaper, and the last thing I want her to find out…..Mom, did you already tell her that I wear diapers?" "No baby, I was going to leave that up to you." "How am I going to get ready for bed Wednesday night without her finding out?" "You can always say goodnight, come to your room, and put them on yourself sweetheart." "Yeah, I guess I wasn't thinking. How's my temperature mom?" "It's down, but not enough for you to mess around today. I want you on that couch watching TV, understand." "Yeah." "Let's get you changed. What do you want to wear today?" "Pull-ups." "Which ones?" she asked as she went thru my dresser. "Surprise me." I had my plastic pants down, and my diaper off when she came back to my bed with the pull-ups "Pretty soon you won't be able to wear these anymore, but you will always be my little baby." "Aw mom." "Ready for some breakfast?" "Steak and eggs?" "In your dreams kid, cereal and milk." After I had breakfast, I lay down on the couch and watched TV. My mom was busy putting things away in our new apartment. I felt so guilty just laying there. "Mom, I'm bored. Can I help?" "No, I want you in tip top condition Wednesday when Cathy is here. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Cathy was a swim instructor at a school. Maybe she can teach you how to swim better." "I swim okay now that Mrs. Santos taught me last summer." "You could still us some improvement Scotty. Dog paddling is not what you call swimming." When it was lunchtime, my mommy made soup and sandwiches for us. After dinner, my mom surprised me with a warm bath then we watched the movie Daddy Day Care. My mom exchanged my pull-ups for a double diaper. Mom said my temp was near normal that night. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, I felt weird. I didn't know what it was until I rolled over onto my back and felt it squish up into my butt crack. When my mom came in, she knew what had happened by the smell. I was so embarrassed, but she led me to the bathroom and cleaned me up. She didn't ask me what I wanted to wear that day, she just put one of my bed wetter diapers on me and then a pair of plastic pants. I was confined to the couch most of the day watching cartoons while I still had a slight temp. By the time dinner rolled around, all the cardboard boxes were in the trash, and we were in our new apartment. As we sat done on the couch for dinner that night, my mom gave me the rules when Cathy was there. "When Cathy is here tomorrow, I want you to behave, and do everything she tells you to do. Don't argue with her. Try and be helpful because she is baby-sitting you for a lot less pay then I paid Mrs. Santos. Cathy also mentioned that she might be baby-sitting another child while she watches you Scotty. You can go to her apartment as long as she is there. Her apartment and Bill's are safe houses, remember what I told you about safe houses?" "Yeah, if I need help immediately I go to a safe house." I said. "Bill usually works nights, so he might be home during the daytime, and if you can't get to a safe house when you need one, what do you do?" "Yell fire as loud as I can, over and over." I replied. "You learn well." "I know, I was taught by the best teacher I know." I said as I looked into my mom's eyes. My mom started blushing until I said "Miss. Sweeney, my first grade teacher." My mom hit me upside my head with the pillow that I was using on the couch. "Get your butt in on your bed so I can get you ready for bed." my mom said then smiled. I grabbed my pillow and went to my room. "Baby, get one of the extra large towels and spread it on your bed." "Are you going to give me a massage tonight?" I yelled back. "Yes, I thought you might like one after all this moving we did." "I will." I said as I took out a towel out of the hall closet and spread it on my bed, then I took out two cloth diapers out of my dresser drawer then laid them on the bed. My mommy helped me get undressed and then she put all my clothes in the clothes hamper, except the plastic pants. I lay down on my bed on my stomach as she sat down on the bed beside me. "Warm baby lotion?" I asked her. "Of course, nothing but the best for my kid. Got to take your temp again, too." I laid my head down on my pillow and opened my mouth, then I felt the thermometer being inserted into my rear end. "MOM!" "Miss. Sweeney the best teacher you ever had huh?" "I was just pulling your leg mom!" "I know, but I just wanted to talk to you." "About what?" I asked as she started massaging the warm baby lotion into my shoulders. "Wanted to thank you for all your help this last week. I know that you didn't want to move and leave all your friends behind, but you never complained once." "Think Mrs. Santa Clause might be able to get me a game boy this Christmas? I don't even care if it is used." "I'll talk to her personally about that baby." Mom worked her way down my back to my rear, then down my legs with the warm lotion. When she was done, she took the thermometer out and read the temp. "Ninety-nine point eight degrees, you should be back to normal by morning." I turned onto my back as she slipped the diapers under my rear. "I sure hope that Cathy baby sitting you works out sweetheart." she said as she massaged warm baby lotion on my chest. "Do you think I might get any modeling jobs or commercials before school starts, I really don't care what they are." "I still have you listed with the Freedman agency, and you know where your portfolios are,." 'Yeah, in the right hand drawer of the desk." Mom was working on my front diaper area when she said "Looks like someone is anxious to get his diaper on." She finished my massage when I asked "What time do you leave in the morning mom?" "Early. Why?" "I just wanted to say goodbye tomorrow morning before you left, that's all." "Tell you what. I'll stick my head in and see if you are awake, okay?" She asked as she finished pulling the plastic pants up over my diaper. She tucked me into bed, gave me a kiss, and then gathered up the lotion and the towels as she headed towards the door. I'll see you tomorrow baby." she said as she turned off the light. "MOM" "Yes Scotty?" "I love you." "I love you too baby. Sweet dreams." I turned onto my stomach and laid there. I got to thinking about Matt, Kyle, and Mrs Santos and started crying softly. It had been such a scary and sometimes good week. My old friends were miles and miles away from me now. I wondered what was Cathy like? Was she strict, or did she like to have fun? I could no longer ride my bike down to my mom's work anymore like I use to, especially when I needed to talk to her. Her work was a lot further away from our new apartment now. And now that Matt and Kyle lived so far away, who was going to restrain me from tearing up the world like Matt use to do when I lost my temper. Who was going to sit and listen to me when I felt like talking like Kyle use to do? And Mrs. Santos, she was like a grandmother to me. I missed all of them so much now, and I was so scared. I buried my face in my pillow and cried some more. END OF CHAPTER 1