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soprano193 · 4 years ago

Text

Not a Couple

Chapter 8

Jane:

It only took thirteen seconds for Jane's more sophisticated friend to comment on her outfit. After placing her two suitcases in the back of the cab and hopping in the backseat with Jane, she eyed her friend with eyebrows raised. "Jane, I thought you were kidding about the sweats!"

"I was. Mostly." She laughed to herself as she realized how odd of a pair they made, Jane in her black sweats and a Red Sox tee, and Maura with a pencil skirt and green flowy blouse. "Maura, are you comfortable?" Jane asked, gesturing down to the Doctor's heels.

"Comfortable enough." Her answer was non-committal, accompanied by a shrug of her shoulders. So she wasn't comfortable.

"Maur, we're going to be on a plane for seven hours. The driver can wait a few extra minutes for you to change into something comfortable for the trip."

For a moment, it seemed like the honey blonde would accept the offer to change, or at least pick out more comfortable shoes. But with a shake of her head, Maura resigned herself to her choices. "I'll be fine. I've flown many times in this exact outfit." At her words, the cab lurched forward, headed to Logan.

"Hey, as long as you're comfy."

Her friend laughed. "Well, I can see you are!" From her purse, she pulled out a legal pad, flipping through the pages. "I updated my itinerary. I was up for a while, adding you to my plans, and finding new things that might interest us both." As she chatted away about palaces, catacombs, and cathedrals, Jane watched her face, wondering again in awe how she kept so much information inside her brain. Maura must have seen the look on Jane's face, and stopped her rambling to look at the former Detective, her brows furrowed. "What?"

"Nothing. Just watching your giant brain work." At this, Jane swore she saw the hint of a blush creeping up on her friend's face. Looking down at the legal pad, her eyes fixated on Maura's tidy scrawl. "So, did you pack our days, or did you give us some wiggle room?"

"I picked things that would interest us both, and left days for relaxation and writing in between."

"And in all this planning, did you manage to get any sleep?"

Her friend paused. "Not much. But, I planned a two-day recovery so that we can start to adjust our internal clocks." Maura glances at her, hazel eyes studying her face. "What about you? You left pretty late."

"I didn't sleep. I had a few things to finish packing into the Pod so they can store it for me. And I had to add a few nicer outfits to my suitcase." At Maura's pleased smile, Jane grinned. "Besides, I figured we could sleep on the plane."

"Oh, but we shouldn't!" Maura's outburst startled even the cab driver. "When we get to Paris, it will be nighttime. We should try to stay awake on the plane, and then sleep when we get there. It would be beneficial for our internal clocks."

"Maura! You're telling me that I should stay awake for two days voluntarily?"

She giggled. "You've stayed awake before!"

Jane groaned. "During cases, Maur. When there's a body dump and a killer on the loose. There's a difference." They continued to laugh, talk, and plan during their short ride to Logan. Check-in was quick in the early morning before the busy period started. And they were through security after about 30 minutes.

Once in the terminal, Jane wasted no time searching for a store with coffee. She sent a silent prayer to the coffee Gods when around the corner from their gate was a Boston Joe's kiosk. "Maura, coffee." It was a statement rather than a question, and her friend only nodded in response.

"I'm heading to our gate. I'll meet you there."

Jane nodded in response, tapping her friend on the shoulder before jumping in the back of the line. She almost didn't notice the way Maura stiffened at the contact. As she watched the Doctor walk away, she brushed the stiffness off, figuring it had to be exhaustion.

The line was moving slow. There was only one worker behind the counter and several tired travelers looking for a pick-me-up. After the first customer, her phone chimed. A message from Davies.

C: I heard you were starting late. I hope you're not backing out?

J: I'm not, I promise. Just taking a long-deserved vacation to Paris with Maura.

C: Ah, the City of Love. I've heard great things. Send me pictures?

J: I will. See you in a month.

C: Have fun, Jane.

When she got to the counter, she ordered Maura's non-fat latte with no foam, and her own latte with a triple shot. "My travel companion won't let me sleep on the plane." She explained to the barista, who seemed unfazed by the amount of espresso she was pouring into the former Detective's drink. Coffee firmly in her hands, Jane made her way to the gate.

Maura sat in a chair by the windows, her laptop out as she typed away. "What are you working on?" Passing her friend her drink, she watched Maura's screen.

"Well, my plan for this vacation was to change my scenery and write. I figured I might as well now since I probably won't on the plane." She took a sip of her drink, grinning when she saw the stevia packets in Jane's hand. "Thank you. I have something for you, too." She passed over her boarding pass, her finger lingering over the seat number.

It took Jane a second, but once she saw it, she grinned. "You got your seat changed!"

"I did. The person next to you was happy to switch."

"I call the window seat." This made Maura laugh, which made Jane's heart jump up to her chest. Making Maura laugh was one of her favorite pastimes. It would be hard in a month when she couldn't do that every day. Trying to distract herself from her worries, Jane pulled out her phone. "I should tell Ma we made it to the airport safely."

"I already texted her."

Grinning, Jane watched her friend out of the corner of her eye. "Okay, so I'll watch a movie then." Fishing her headphones out of her pocket, she pulled up Netfix and started a random movie. But instead of watching the movie, she read what Maura was typing.

If Maura noticed the intrusion, she didn't let on. She flipped between her word processor and a scanned version of her outline often. At one point she switched to a page filled with character information, adding to it, expanding on her points. When she hesitated, Jane would watch her face, how her jaw would set and her eyes would narrow as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. Or her small, satisfied smile when she'd written something she liked. Watching Maura's face change as she wrote made Jane want to read her book even more.

On the plane, each passenger had their own little TV on the backs of the chairs in front of them. Once in the air, Maura found archeological documentaries, the kind that had the British narrators that made Jane fall asleep. Jane opted for something with more explosions, to help keep her awake. Unfortunately, around three hours in, she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She tapped her companion, who pulled out an earbud. "I know we're supposed to stay awake, but what's it gonna hurt to take a little nap?"

The Doctor raised her eyebrows at her in response. "Well, it won't hurt, but the time difference and jet lag can be unpleasant. You'll be prone to irritability, fatigue, indigestion, and headaches."

"Maur, I'm already fatigued, and am halfway to irritable. I need to sleep."

"Well, I won't stop you." Her friend's response was all she needed to hear. From her carry-on luggage, Jane pulled out the matching leopard U-shaped pillow that came with her bag. Her friend's laughter didn't stop her from putting it around her neck and against the plane wall. "Sleep well, Jane."

Despite her exhaustion, sleeping on a plane was proving to be very difficult. Every little movement she could feel, and she had never been great at sleeping while sitting. As she was about to give up and complain, looking to Maura for support, she found her friend with eyelids fluttering, her chin resting on her fist. "Maur," She started, making the Doctor startle, "get some rest. You're tired."

The honey blonde shook her head, blinking her hazel eyes. "I can't. I don't want to be irritable."

"Maura, you're with me. I'll forgive you." Jane felt her face soften as she tugged her friend to her, letting Maura rest her head on Jane's shoulder. As Maura snuggled in, letting sleep get the best of her, Jane rested her head on top of Maura's, finally losing consciousness.

They were awoken by the flight attendants, who were preparing for landing. Announcements were made over the speaker that they were approaching their destination. Jane lifted her shade to see what was going on. Maura peering over her shoulder, Jane held her breath until they landed safely on another continent.

It took them almost two hours to clear customs, their bags being the last off the plane. Maura hailed a taxi outside to take them to their hotel. Inside the cab, she spoke perfect French with the driver, which Jane watched in awe. Too tired to even try to follow the conversation, she instead opted to text her Mother, making sure she knew they arrived.

The cab dropped them off at a hotel walking distance from the tower. It looked huge, lit up in the night, glowing beacons shining in the air. Jane could feel her mouth opening as she took it all in. Sure, she knew they were in another country, far from home, but seeing the tower like that, so close, that's when it hit her. She was in Paris. With Maura.

As her friend entered her thoughts, she felt a hand slip into hers and tug it, pulling her gently along the sidewalk. "Jane, come on."

"Pinch me."

The Doctor's laughter was gentle, as she pulled herself into Jane's side, lacing their fingers together. "Why would I want to do that?"

Jane squeezed the younger woman's hand. "So I know this is real." The light chuckle and grin that adorned Maura's face, her dimples showing as she walked backward, it almost outshone the tower.

Their room had a view of the Tower from the balcony. Jane stood at the full-length windows and stared for just a bit longer before being pulled out of her trance by the blonde Doctor placing pills into her hands. "Melatonin. It should help with the jet lag." At Jane's quirked eyebrow, she continued. "It will help you sleep." Jane didn't question it further, and accepted the glass of water her friend held out. The honey-blonde made her way across the room to the bathroom, gathering some clothing from her opened bag as she went. "As much as I want to unpack, I also feel like it's important that we sleep." Jane took the opportunity while her friend was getting ready to change clothes, drawing the curtains closed. "I'm worried that it will be difficult given our nap on the plane."

"I'm not," Jane answered back as she yawned, throwing her travel clothes in a pile and climbing under the covers on her side of the bed. "I think that melanin you gave me is kicking in." As she closed her eyes, she heard her friend chuckle, her footsteps coming closer to the bed. By the time Maura had set up her phone charger and joined Jane under the covers, Jane was asleep.

When her eyes opened next, the clock on the side of the bed shone back at her. 3:42 am. Part of her wanted to groan and fall back asleep, but she woke feeling refreshed. Blaming it on the time change, she turned to face Maura.

Maura was still asleep, her breathing even, her face serene. Despite the long day of travel, her hair was still in perfect waves which sloped gracefully over the curve of her cheek. Jane reached over to brush a stray piece out of her eyes, and felt her breath hitch as she waited to see if Maura woke. Instead, it seemed as if the blonde smiled at Jane's touch, relaxing more in her slumber. Jane felt her heart flip at the intimacy of the moment, realizing that the only other person who would ever experience this was Maura's eventual spouse. It was a strange honor to see the well put together Doctor in such a vulnerable place, and Jane scoffed as she realized that she was jealous of a person who didn't exist yet.

Pushing her thoughts from her head, Jane decided to peruse Facebook, looking at photos from her friends back home. After a few minutes, when she remembered where they were, she climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb her sleeping companion. Walking to the window, she pulled it open and stared out in awe. The Tower's lights were off, but she could still make out the imposing figure in the darkness. The lights absolutely added to its beauty, but just knowing it was there sent shivers down her spine.

The hand pressed into the small of her back had surprised her, but instead of jumping, she leaned back into it, until Maura's arm wrapped around her and she situated herself at Jane's hip. "The lights stop at 1 am." Maura's voice was soft, like she was afraid to break the serenity of the moment.

"I wasn't complaining." She felt Maura chuckle beside her. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"You didn't." The reassurance made Jane let out her breath, relaxing more into her friend's embrace. "How long have you been awake?"

"Just about ten minutes. I remembered where we were and thought I'd admire the view."

"That's a good plan." Maura stood with her, looking out at the Tower, street lamps, trees, and buildings that they could see from their window. "It's gorgeous, isn't it?"

Jane turned her head to look at her friend. Her face was lit up by the glow of the moonlight, her mouth pulled up in the corners, her eyes wide as they looked around the city. Jane was looking at Maura when she answered. "Yeah. Gorgeous."

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They spent the first few days adjusting their internal clocks. As much as Jane wanted to explore this foreign city, she also was glad for the time to reacclimate. They found a few coffee shops and restaurants near them and went grocery shopping for some fruits and other things to have in the room. Maura dedicated two hours each day to writing, time that Jane had decided to dedicate to reading or Duolingo. She wouldn't be fluent, but at least she could ask where the bathroom was and understand the response.

Maura set up their first outing, keeping the plans to herself. "At least tell me if I need to dress up."

"No need. Dress comfortably." This was all the permission Jane needed to pull out her BPD sweatpants and a comfy t-shirt. Maura only shook her head, not saying a word, a smile on her face.

"You said 'comfortably'!" Jane shouted in an accusatory tone at Maura's face.

"I did, I wasn't planning on saying anything." Her friend laughed as Jane changed, and she chattered away about lunch plans, when she wanted to write, and her desire to take ridiculous touristy photos.

Jane assured her that they would take all the photos she wanted to. "We need more pictures together, anyway. And my new apartment will need decorating." It was the first time in days that Jane had mentioned her upcoming move, and almost immediately she regretted it. She could see the flash of sadness on Maura's face, her hands fidgeting, followed by her immediate compartmentalization. Trying to bring levity to the room again, Jane smiled. "So tell me more about this adventure."

Maura brought her on a guided tour of the Catacombs. If anyone else had brought her, she would have found it creepy. Most people don't tour graveyards. But this was different. Jane learned about the transfer of hundreds of bodies from overflowing cemeteries to underground quarries, under the cover of darkness so citizens wouldn't be alarmed. They walked along corridors with bones lining the walls in elegant patterns, their tour guide explaining the painstaking work that went into the design. Unable to resist, Jane leaned over to Maura and whispered, "this looks like a scene right out of Scooby-Doo." The Doctor's stifled laughter and the looks of other tourists were worth the glare of the guide.

At a Cafe along the Seine, while eating sandwiches and sipping wine, a woman approached and spoke with Maura. Jane was not proficient enough to figure out what the woman was saying, but watched as a flustered Maura blushed and answered her back. The woman gave an awkward smile and rushed away, nodding at Jane as she left. Not wanting to be left out, Jane looked at the still red blonde, waiting for an answer to her unasked question. Maura gave a nervous chuckle before explaining. "She said she thought we made a cute couple."

Jane furrowed her brows and looked toward the door, where the woman had made a quick exit. "What brought that on?" Looking at the way they were sitting, she didn't notice anything different. They weren't any more affectionate than usual, although she was aware that some people found their affection for one another unusual. Shrugging, she turned back to the younger woman. "I mean, I know we aren't the last people to be approached awkwardly in public. Frankie and Nina get a comment monthly about how beautiful their baby will be." She took a sip of wine. "And it was only Ma once."

This made Maura laugh, her fingers trailing along the bottom of her wine glass. "Your mother says a lot of intrusive things. And asks a lot of questions. It's endearing."

"It's annoying."

Laughing, Maura took a sip of her wine before gesturing to the door, where the woman had left. "What kind of questions do you think your Mother would ask us?"

"If we were in a relationship?" Jane clarified before continuing, waiting for the nod of the Doctor's head. "Probably the same thing she would ask any lesbian couple. Who pays for dinner? Who asks who on the date? Who is going to carry her grandchildren, because so far only one of her children has succeeded in that?"

"Which one is the man?" Maura added, her eyebrows raised at that last word as she waited to watch Jane's reaction.

"Yes, she would ask that. And I thought we established years ago that I would be the guy." Jane smiled to herself as she remembered that case at Merch, going undercover, turning her head and being face to face with Maura's…

"But Jane, isn't the point of a same-sex relationship, that neither one of us is 'the guy'?"

Maura punctuated her words with air quotations, making Jane snort. "You do have a point there, Maur."

Both women dropped the conversation and went back to their meals. It wasn't the first time they had flirted with the idea of dating one another. But for once, it was the first time Jane had felt sorry to see the conversation end. As Maura ate, jotting things down about the setting that she could use in her story later, Jane wondered how her Mother would react to her dating the younger blonde. She had always seen Maura as another daughter, and certainly treated her with as much kindness as she treated the rest of her children. Plus, Maura was a Doctor, so she had that going for her.

"Jane." Her friend's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "Are you okay?"

Jane's nod was slow as she blinked herself to reality. "Yes. Sorry. I was just thinking that I haven't texted Ma in a few days, I should do that." Maura accepted this response, her eyes floating back to her notebook. Jane let out a breath, careful not to draw attention to herself. She did send out a quick text to her mother, along with a photo of Maura next to a skull. It looks like you girls are having a great time. Looking back at Maura, Jane smiled. Maura was very concentrated on her descriptions, her brow furrowed and her lips pursed. Every so often she would look up, cock her head as she looked at something, then scribble down another description. Jane found the sight amusing, yet endearing. Watching, she realized that before she worried about how her Mother would react, she needed to figure out her own feelings first.

________________________________________________________________

A few days later, they visited the Louvre. Jane had never been a fan of art museums, but she knew that this was the trip Maura didn't want to miss. "This is where the Mona Lisa is, right? Let's go see it first, and look at all these other things later."

Maura grabbed her hand, pulling her back to the Doctor's side. "No." She said it in a matter-of-fact tone that made Jane stop. "Everyone goes there first. The best thing to do is wait until closing time, when crowds have thinned."

Jane couldn't help but groan. That was the only piece of artwork that even slightly piqued her interest. Holding a map of the vast museum in her hands, she sighed, ignoring the amused look on Maura's face. "Fine. As long as we still get to see it."

"I promise, you'll see it." Maura giggled, pulling her into a room.

The museum proved to be more interesting than Jane had anticipated. For one, it was interesting to see how many "Virgin and Child" sculptures could fit in a single room. Walking through the sculptures, Jane watched the progression and noted the subtle differences in style. Meanwhile, Maura chatted away, throwing out words like 'gothic', or 'renaissance' off the top of her head. Jane never needed to read a plaque, or plug in and listen. She had a walking encyclopedia who was raised by an art teacher at her side.

As they made their way into the rooms with Roman and Greek statues, they came across one that Jane recognized immediately. "Maura, please tell me there's not a body in it this time."

Her friend paused before answering, her head cocked to one side. "That would be highly unlikely, but I can't rule it out."

Shaking her head, Jane linked elbows with her, pulling her forward. "Well go stand next to it so I can get a picture."

"What? Why?"

"You wanted to take touristy photos! This is a touristy photo." She positioned Maura next to the giant sculpture and backed away until she could fit both in her picture. "Maur, pose like the statue."

"What should I do with my arms?" She waved them around for emphasis.

"Whatever you want. Imagine what she may have been doing." Reluctantly, Maura did just that. Her left knee angled and her body twisted slightly, she placed her right arm over her stomach, and her left pushed forward, as if holding up a mirror. Jane snapped the picture, walking back toward her friend. "Very intellectual, Maura. Do me." Jane stood in the same place, waiting for Maura to get her framing right. Once she held up her phone, Jane extended her arms to the left side of her body and started swaying her hips like she was doing the hula. Laughing, Maura took her picture, her head shaking.

As she approached, she held her arm out, lacing it back through Jane's elbow as they fell back into step. "It's highly unlikely that anyone in ancient Greece would know how to hula." She wore a smile on her face, knowing full well that Jane was messing with her.

"Well, I'll take my chances. You could be wrong this one time."

"Perhaps." The Doctor conceded with a smile, pulling Jane into another room.

The best part of the Louvre was definitely watching Maura. The way she examined every detail of the paintings and sculptures, her hazel eyes darting around, taking them all in. The way she spouted facts like it was nothing, again making Jane wonder where she kept all that information. It was, of all things, stone statues of winged bulls with human heads, that made Maura stop in her tracks. Jane understood it to a point, they were massive and made her feel small. Jane placed her hand in the small of Maura's back, trying to move her along, but her feet were planted. "Tell me what you're thinking, Maur."

"It's just," she gestured in the air, her hands not settling on any one thing, "these statues are over three thousand years old, Jane. And made from stone. And they're so well preserved, and detailed, and here. It's amazing."

Jane had a memory at that moment, of Maura going on about being in awe of what human beings can do. It was endearing at the time, but now, seeing it in action, watching the look on her face, Jane knew this was incredible for her. "Yeah. It's amazing." She responded, her eyes fixated on her friend's face.

They made it to see the Mona Lisa before closing, Jane shocked to realize just how small it was. She then dragged her friend to take more photos in the gardens and along the Place de la Concorde. Then they returned to their hotel room so Maura could write. While Maura worked on her project, Jane recounted the memories from the day. Maura's laughter at her dancing, her never-ending knowledge that she shared so willingly, and that look of awestruck wonder that made her so beautiful. Looking across the room at Maura, Jane felt her stomach sink as she thought about leaving. This trip was making everything so hard.

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It was during a morning writing session that Jane realized that Maura was staring at her. She tried to ignore it at first, returning to her phone, but every time she looked up, Maura was looking at her. "Am I distracting you? I can go work out for a bit if I'm bothering you."

"No, please don't." She closed the top of her laptop. "I'm describing you."

"Why?" Jane's brows furrowed as she looked at her friend, her phone falling to her lap.

"They told me my characters and setting were flat. I need to practice using my senses to make people and characters come alive." With that, she reopened her laptop, going back to typing.

"Does it have to be me?" Jane asked as she watched Maura look up at her again.

"Whom else do you suggest I describe?" At this Jane shrugged, picking her phone back up and listening to the green owl teach her French. At one point, she looked over and saw Maura watching her again, her eyes focused on Jane's feet dangling in the chair. Jane began to wiggle them, making Maura roll her eyes. "You have to pretend I'm not watching you. Act natural."

Jane returned her feet to normal, stilling them. "Okay, bossy." This elicited a chuckle from the Doctor, putting a small smile on Jane's face. Jane decided to focus on her Duolingo, finding her French skills improving. When Maura closed her laptop, standing once the hour was up, Jane held out a hand for the Doctor's device. "Do I get to read it?"

Maura's eyes grew wide as she held her computer close to her. "No. It's private."

"Maura! You wrote about me! I should be able to read it!" She was pouting as she whined, her hands opening and closing.

The Doctor chuckled at the sight in front of her, shaking her head. "No, Jane. It's private. And it's not important, it was just an exercise." At Jane's huff of displeasure, she continued. "But give me a few days, I want you to read my revisions on my manuscript."

Playing up her disappointment, Jane huffed. "Fine. That kind of makes up for your secrecy." The only response from the Doctor was more chuckling as she tucked away her computer and changed for the day.

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The day they went to Notre Dame, it was rainy. Maura fretted in their hotel room about her hair, and the rain messing it up. "It's the perfect day to pull it back, then." Jane tried to reason with her as she redressed. "You always look nice when you pull it back."

"You think so?" The honey-blonde poked her head out from the bathroom, her hair gathered in her hands as she looked toward the former Detective.

"I do." Taking this positive response, the Doctor disappeared. If Jane was being honest, her friend always looked amazing. No matter what she decided to do with her hair, or what outfit she chose to wear, she always looked amazing. "Do you think I would lie about that?"

Emerging from the bathroom with a smile and high ponytail, the younger woman reached for her umbrella and purse. "I think if you thought it would get me out of the room faster, you might."

Stopping Maura from leaving with her hand on the door, Jane made sure to look in her eyes, her face soft as she spoke. "You're gorgeous, my friend."

Maura stifled her smile, as any humble person would. "Somehow that sounds familiar."

"Yeah, a know-it-all told me that, once." With a chuckle, they left, walking side by side.

Upon entering the cathedral, Jane crossed herself before she lost her breath. Maura's hand in the small of her back kept her moving, but her eyes hadn't come down yet. The ceilings were so high, the room so large, she felt small in comparison. Maura walked at her pace through it all, allowing her to examine the artwork and the architecture. They both stopped to stare at one of the rose windows, high in the air, and at that moment Jane knew what Maura meant when she said that she was in awe of what humans could do.

While admiring the high ceilings and stained glass, Maura's voice pulled her out of her trance, low and reverent as she admired the cathedral. "Standing here as a non-believer, I have to admit that I understand." She met Jane's eyes, and continued at her furrowed brows and curious look. "I mean, just being in here makes me feel insignificant. Like there has to be something else out there, something bigger than myself. It's easy to see why many turn to religious beliefs when they are looking for something more."

Grabbing the younger woman's hand, Jane gave it a squeeze. "You know you're significant, right?"

She nodded. "I do. And I hope you know that too." Jane realized she was blushing, heat rising to her cheeks as she saw Maura's genuine smile. She gently moved Jane along to discover more within the walls.

They stumbled upon an altar with a picture of the Virgin and Child in the background. Red and white flags (Polish, Maura told her with a smile) hung on either side. The picture depicted the mother and Jesus with dark complexions, brilliant gold halos on top of their heads. Maura began talking about Black Madonnas found elsewhere in Europe. "Considering Jesus was reportedly middle eastern, these paintings would be more historically accurate," she explained, as Jane pulled her to see more stained glass windows.

It was the window that seemed to depict a journey that caught Maura's attention, her eyes following the detail. The light shone through this window just right, making Maura's face glow in shades of red, a stray strand of hair grazing against her cheek. Jane's heart skipped a beat, her stomach fluttered, and she resisted the urge to wrap her arms around the awe inspiring woman she called her best friend. Before she could stop it, she spoke. "So beautiful."

Maura, not moving her eyes from the window, answered back. "Yeah, it is."

As their vacations began to come to a close, Jane found it harder and harder to imagine returning to a life without Maura. They talked about plans, Jane's moving process, Skype schedules, and holidays. As much as Jane didn't want to think about it, she knew planning was the best way to combat Maura's anxiety about her leaving. As for her, she was happy to wake up next to Maura every day, to watch her as she slept, to see the subtle changes in her face as she wrote. It was in the quiet of one of those moments, when she had to resist the urge to press a gentle kiss to her lips, that Jane realized what she was walking away from. That she may be leaving the love of her life along with her family to pursue this next step in her career. Sometimes it made her question her decision.

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Their last big tour was to Versailles. The grounds were large, the gardens full, and Jane had to fight to keep her face neutral as Maura twirled in the hall of mirrors like a little girl. "Jane, can you imagine attending a ball in the past?"

"What, with the tight bodices, and the hoop skirts so wide they make your ass look huge?" Maura laughed, and Jane felt a pull in her gut. "Yeah, I'm gonna pass."

"Jane! You looked amazing in your Revolutionary War dress." Her hands played with the edges of Jane's jacket. "It would be like that, but with more frills."

"Maura, when would I ever say 'more frills'?" Maura laughed at her, dropping the jacket and moving away, and for a moment Jane wondered if she felt it too. Pushing down her feelings, she continued as normal. "What, are you gonna teach me to waltz too?"

"Oh, not the Waltz." She turned away and wandered down the hall, knowing Jane would follow behind her. "The Waltz only became popular after the Revolution, after the palace at Versailles fell out of use."

"Well, excuse me for being ahead of my time." She couldn't help but laugh with Maura as she turned back around to face the taller woman, walking backwards in the hall.

"If it helps, I've always admired that about you." She caught sight of herself in the mirrors and twirled, slow and graceful, making Jane glad she still had her phone out to capture it on camera. She thought back to that revolutionary war era dress, Maura done up in frills and bows, her hair in a graceful yet intricate updo, and she remembered how beautiful she looked that day. If only she had realized what was right in front of her sooner.

They made their way into another room, either the war room or the peace room. Jane wasn't paying attention as Maura spoke, and was instead looking at all the gold that adorned the walls. "How rich do you have to be to cover all the walls with gold?"

"Gilded bronze." Maura corrected, admiring the large circular painting on the wall.

"Okay. How rich do you need to be to cover all the walls with gilded bronze?"

Maura laughed at the question, bringing a smile to Jane's face. She pointed behind them, into the hallway. "Actually, the real impressive thing here is the mirrors."

"The mirrors are impressive?"

Maura nodded, looking into Jane's eyes as she spoke. "Yes, mirrors in the 18th century were very expensive, only the elite could afford them. That whole hallway was meant to remind allies and enemies how rich the French monarchy was."

Glancing back to the hallway, Jane couldn't help but scoff. "That's a lot of money to blow on an ego boost."

"I found the effect rather striking. Didn't you?" Maura wasn't looking at her anymore as she spoke, her head tilted upward as she examined paintings on the ceiling.

Thinking back to Maura in the hall of mirrors, twirling as she caught sight of herself, Jane couldn't help but smile. "The effect was definitely striking." Her friend laughed at Jane's tone before taking a hold of her hand, pulling her to another room.

When they finished in the palace, Jane pulled Maura into the gardens. Maura had told her they were almost three times the size of Central Park. They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening looking at trees in boxes, hunting down fountains, and watching water shows in the most elaborate outdoor setting Jane had ever seen. The few pictures she took of Maura near some blossoms she knew she would treasure forever.

________________________________________________________________

"Let's go somewhere nice to eat." Maura's voice pulled Jane from her haze. It was their last day in the city of lights, that fact made more real as Jane checked into her flight. "I can get us reservations at a restaurant near the Tower."

"I'm not opposed." The words sent her friend into a flurry of activity. Between looking at review, getting changed, and making calls, she was all over the room in varying stages of undress. It wasn't the first time she had seen the Doctor in varying stages of undress. A month ago it would have been just another day in their lives. But now Jane found herself looking away, trying to forget how her creamy skin contrasted with her deep purple bra. She breathed a sigh of relief as Maura emerged from the bathroom in a pink blouse, her hair straight instead of her usual loose curls.

"I've found a restaurant." She said with a triumphant grin. "Get dressed, we leave in a half an hour."

Jane pulled her one good white blouse out of her suitcase. It had black piping along the edges and down the center of the shirt. This paired with her black pants was as fancy as she was willing to get. Emerging from the bathroom, she breathed a sigh of relief at Maura's nod of approval. She had added a rose gold bracelet to her ensemble, as well as some simple silver earrings. "You look great." Jane breathed, hoping it didn't sound as awkward as it made her feel.

"Thank you. That top is stunning on you." The returned compliment made the former Detective blush. "I haven't seen it before."

"Ma picked it out about three years ago. So naturally, I haven't worn it." Her explanation made the honey-blonde snort, her head shaking. "I know, it's silly. But sometimes she picks out clothing with an ulterior motive, so I don't wear it when she wants me to."

"Jane, you have to let that black dress thing go."

Grabbing her wallet and following Maura out the door, Jane corrected her. "That wasn't the only time, Maura."

The restaurant was nice enough, tucked away into a corner, the Tower seen only in the distance. Maura ordered the duck, while Jane stuck with a meal she knew she would like, beef tenderloin. For a while they talked about Maura's book, and the changes she had made. They then reminisced about their favorite parts of their vacation together, planning to choose another location to visit together in a year. But as dinner came, they had to address their impending separation. "I fear that this vacation has only increased my sadness about you leaving." Maura broke the ice, her face down as she spoke.

Reaching across the table, Jane caressed her hand, the touch foreign to her now with her realized feelings. "Am I still sad? Absolutely. But I don't regret this time I've had to spend with you." Maura's lips pulled up for a split second as she tried to smile through her sadness. "Besides, I'll be back before you know it for Thanksgiving."

Huffing, she pulled her hand away from Jane's, returning to her meal. "I know. And when I have long weekends, I can come down for a visit."

"Exactly!" This made the younger woman smile brighter as she sat up taller in her seat. "Frankie said the drive wasn't too bad."

"Frankie made the drive?"

Nodding, Jane took a bite of her food. "Yeah, he drove my car down there, and Ma drove him back. He and Tommy set up my bed, and left my apartment keys under my floor mats."

"So you're all set up."

"The rest of my stuff will arrive in two days. I'm just waiting for an email from the FBI outlining my first few days." At the mention of the organization, her mind flashed to the man who had offered her the job, the special agent who asked her for pictures of Paris. The special agent she hadn't answered in a month. Even though she was slowly realizing that a relationship between them was not going to work out, she hadn't meant to ghost him. "Shit."

"What's the matter?" Maura looked concerned, her eyes blinking as she looked at her friend.

"Agent Davies. He asked me for pictures of our vacation, and I've ignored him all month long."

"Oh." Maura's reply was curt, shocking Jane with the harshness of it. "You'll see him in a few days. You can catch him up then."

"I know." Taking a sip of her wine, she continued. "I wasn't gonna text him right now. It's our last night in Paris. Tonight everything is about you." Maura seemed to relax at this, loosening her shoulders and speaking in a normal voice.

After dinner they walked along the Seine, taking in the sights and sounds together. They reminisced about cases, funny stories with Jane's family, and their significant others who never seemed to stick. Maura was careful not to bring up Davies, but why, Jane couldn't understand. Maybe she was sensing the doubts Jane was feeling. She hoped Maura wouldn't figure out why she was having doubts. That would be harder to explain.

They found themselves standing on a bridge. A ferry boat was out in the distance. The sky was getting dark. Maura took a moment, closing her eyes and listening to the sounds. Jane took the opportunity to snap a picture. Maura saw the flash, shaking her head. "Jane, let me see it."

"It's gorgeous, Maura." She was gorgeous. She couldn't say that out loud again. But she turned her phone around so Maura could see it, grinning when she nodded her head in approval. "We should get one together."

"Jane, I don't know if I want to take pictures."

"C'mon, Maura." She turned her camera around and stood next to her friend. Demonstrating on her screen, she showed her friend. "See those lights back there? It will make for a nice photo." Her friend nodded, and Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's waist, holding her other arm out to take the photo. Maura's arm wrapped around her back. "One. Two. Three." Jane smiled and took a picture, realizing only after the flash that Maura had been looking not at the camera, but at Jane's face. She turned to her friend, feigning upset with her voice. "Maura! You have to look at the camera. It'll be pretty!"

But Maura was looking at her with soft, wide eyes, her smile broad and unwavering. "Yeah, pretty." It seemed as though Maura was leaning closer, her eyes closing and mouth parting. And before Jane could stop herself, she closed that gap, letting her lips meet Maura's. Her hand fell, placing her phone in her pocket so she could put both her hands on the younger woman's waist, pulling her closer. The small moan Maura let out made Jane weak at the knees, and she opened her mouth for more.

But as she did, Maura pulled away, biting her lips and looking away. "I'm sorry." She covered the lower half of her face with her hand.

Jane wasn't sorry. Everything she had been figuring out was answered once her lips met Maura's. Her past actions, their closeness, the way she was drawn to Maura, it all made sense. And yet, now her friend was standing across from her looking ashamed. In one moment, Jane had figured out what she needed, and lost it all at once. "Oh my God."

"Jane, wait."

Jane began to back away. "Oh my God."

"Jane, please!"

Jane ran. Even as she could hear her friend pleading with her. She ran, letting the hot tears spill from her face. She ran to the place that had been home for the last month. Traces of Maura were everywhere. She couldn't escape. She paced the floor of their room. At some point, she would have to face Maura, have to face the shame and disappointment. Catching sight of her pajamas, she breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe it would work.

Maura had tried to give her space. She returned to the room half an hour after Jane had. But Jane had decided to hide, wrapping herself in blankets and pretending to sleep. "Jane?" Her friend called out, her voice small in the large space. Jane stuck with her charade, not moving, evening her breathing. "I want to talk. Can we talk?" She could feel Maura's presence standing next to her. When she said nothing, Maura cursed. "Shit." She kicked off her heels and crawled on the other side of the bed. "What have I done?" A part of Jane wanted to roll over and hug her, was angry at herself for causing her friend so much pain. But another didn't want to face the shame, the embarrassment she caused her friend. She had just lost so much, she couldn't lose any more. So she stayed wrapped in her cocoon, ignoring the words of her friend, her heart breaking into more tiny pieces.

Maura fell asleep after about an hour, though Jane could tell it was restless. She tossed and turned, and the look on her face was not the serene picture it had been for the past few weeks. Jane on the other hand, did not sleep. She replayed that kiss in her mind over and over, reveling in the moan, the feel of Maura's hand on her hip. Then she replayed the look of shame, the way Maura crumpled in on herself. She watched it again and again. Now Maura knew. Maura knew Jane loved her, and she didn't feel the same. It was too much to bear.

Jane left an hour earlier for her flight, hailing a taxi at the front desk. She scribbled a note to Maura before leaving, dropping it on her pillow. I hope you can forget this someday. She didn't sleep until she was on her plane, the neck pillow squashed up against the window. No one teased her about the print, no one told her she had to try to stay awake. The person next to her did not watch documentaries that made her fall asleep. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. She blew it.

________________________________________________________________

Three days later in her new apartment, her phone rings. Picking it up, she is met with an accusatory voice on the other end. "What happened?" It was Frankie, always concerned. Thankfully, Maura had people in Boston looking out for her.

"Frankie, I fucked up." She sat on her bed, the only piece of furniture she had unpacked.

"Hence why I'm calling you. Janie, Maura won't talk about the trip. She's just really down. She'd not even talking to Ma. What happened?"

Free hand rubbing her eyes, Jane answered. "I kissed her."

There was a long pause, "I don't understand why that would make her upset."

"Frankie, she was ashamed. Maybe of me, maybe not, I don't know. All I know is that I realized I'm in love with her, we kissed, and now she's ashamed."

"Janie. She's not ashamed of you."

Letting out a breath through her nose, she continued. "Well, if she wasn't, she is now."

"You guys need to talk."

"I don't disagree. But I need time."

Jane could hear his car door shut. "Well, don't wait too long."

"I'll try. Don't tell Ma."

Her brother laughed. "I'll try. But you know me, I fall for all her tricks."

"Great." After saying their goodbyes, she hung up. Opening the gallery on her phone, she looked through all the photos she had of Maura. Posing next to a skull, Admiring paintings at the Louvre, posing like statues, smelling trees at Versailles. That last photo, of the two of them together on that bridge would forever be her favorite.

________________________________________________________________

"Janie! I'm lost!" Her Mother had this weird habit of yelling through the phone, so Jane put it on speakerphone and left it on her counter.

"Ma, I sent you the address!"

"I know, but Ron's GPS isn't working and my phone keeps sending me in circles!"

Jane had to laugh. Her Mother had a hard time with technology. "Where is Ron?"

"Back at the hotel. He's researching GPSes."

"Well, send me your location, and I'll come meet you." Her Mother had been good at that. For a while after Maura's kidnapping, she used to do it to give Jane peace of mind. With a ping, Angela sent her location, and was just a couple of blocks away.

Jane pulled into the empty parking lot, and parked right next to Ron's white car. Her Mother got out when Jane did, and despite her protests, wrapped Jane in a huge hug. "I've wanted to do this for two months, missy. Deal with it."

Jane hadn't seen her Mom since leaving for France. After a week of Maura and Jane both being stateside, Ron decided to take Angela on a road trip. They had spent a few days in New York City, a couple of days at the Hamptons, had been to Hershey Pennysylvania, and had updated Jane on their journey along the way. "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the GPS." Jane teased her Mother, putting her hands in her pockets. "You can just follow me home, though."

"Sounds like a plan." At this Jane nodded, reaching for her door. "Oh, Jane! You'll never guess what I saw on the road!"

Stopping, Jane turned her head to face her Mother. "Was it the Mystery Machine?"

Angela laughed. "Not this time! No, we saw a turtle. Ron got out to help it across the road."

"That's nice, Ma." Jane smiled, reaching again for her car door handle. "Let's head to my apartment."

"Or maybe it was a tortoise." Jane stopped again as she spoke, sighing. "I could never tell those apart too good."

"Ma, it's hot. Let's get out of the sun. Then you can text your favorite Doctor and find out for sure."

"Well I'm just saying, I'm glad it wasn't a snapping turtle. Ron needs his fingers, you know." Angela laughed, her eyes following a car pulling in behind them.

Jane was growing tired, and had forgotten how sometimes it could be hard to get Angela back on task. "Ma, just get in the car! You can tell me all about the turtle or tortoise later!"

But as she reached for the door handle, she heard a voice from behind her that stopped her in her tracks. "Angela? Jane? What are you guys doing here?"

#fanfiction #my fic #rizzles #rizzles fic #not a couple #rizzoli and isles

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prettyinlimegreenboots · 4 years ago

Note

“I think you might be pregnant.”

Minor cussing and some drinking in here along with hospital, IV, and blood. This is a continuation of this fic but you don’t have to read it to understand what’s going on in this.

January 21, 2020 8:00am

All was quiet in the ER that morning. Or as quiet as it could be with two gunshot victims and several heart attack patients. It had been crazy since he punched in at 5:00am for his 12 hour shift.

He threw himself into a chair and surveyed the waiting room. He was waiting for something to happen but for the moment it was temporarily calm.

He was lost in his thoughts, thinking of the dinner that Racer had promised him, when a chart was thrown on the desk with a bang. Looking up, he saw Plums standing there with an unsettling look on her face. “You alright, Plums?”

“Just felt off for a moment.” She pushed a smile to her face, sitting in a chair. “Hey, good job with that gunshot victim earlier. Not sure how but you got him calmed down.”

Spot grinned, thinking back to the first 30 minutes of his shift. “Got him talking about his daughter. Works like a charm.”

“Well I appreciate it.” Kat grinned, looking at the clock before turning to her chart.

Spot watched her. “Something’s off with you Plums. Are you doing alright?”

“I’m fine; don’t worry about me. Jack’s got all these ideas for projects this weekend and I’m a little nervous to be honest. But I’m fine.” She waved him off, as he raised an eyebrow.

“And is there a reason you’ve been in the bathroom like 6 times already this morning?” Spot picked up a pen and his own chart. “Is there something you wanna tell me?”

Her eyes went wide as her hands went to her ponytail to tighten it before giving him a look. “I didn’t know you’ve added stalker to your resume.”

“For being a doctor you’re kinda thick headed, Plums.” Spot smirked.

She turned, giving him a confused look. “Pray tell, head nurse Spottie, tell me what I’m missing.”

Leaning in close to her, he grinned before whispering. “I think you might be pregnant.”

She pushed back in her chair, eyes wide. “There’s no way.”

“Come on. There’s a way. You and Jack - trust me I know more than any brother-in-law ever wants to know.” Spot gave her a look. “You’ve got all the signs - frequent trips to the bathroom, sleepiness, fatigue, need I go on?”

Kat shook her head. “I’m not pregnant, Spot. Just drop it.”

“Just take a test. If I’m wrong, we drop it. If I’m right, we’ll celebrate.” Spot kissed her cheek. “Why are you so worked up denying this?”

She sighed, flipping the chart closed. “Just drop it. I’m off the clock. I’ll see you this weekend, love you.”

“Love you too Kat.” He gave her a look, watching her head to the locker rooms to grab her stuff. “I’ll see you this weekend.”

The day passed, with more runny noses and coughs that he wanted to see but it was quiet, thankfully. No major crises or issues walked through the doors. Looking at the clock he saw that it was just past noon. He was planning on escaping to the cafeteria to grab something to eat when the bay doors were thrown open and a gurney was wheeled in.

“What do we have boys?” He caught up with them, accepting the chart they had started before looking at the patient, eyes going wide. “Kat?”

“26 year old female; husband found her fainted and lethargic. Her husband called saying she had fainted several times, hitting her head the final time.” Spot looked at the gauze on her forehead before looking over at a worried Jack. He gave him a tight smile before looking at the paramedics.

“Let’s get her over to bed 2.” He said, pointing in the general direction.

Stopping at the desk, he gave Isabel, another nurse, a look. “Page Dr Rush and Albert. Plums is in bed 2.”

Walking over to the bed, he was met by a few nurses and an orderly. They transferred her to the bed, letting the paramedics leave. Spot looked at Jack. “Jack, talk to me. What happened?”

Jack kept an eye on the nurse as she started an IV, getting Kat hooked up to all of the monitors. Putting a hand on his brother-in-law’s shoulder, Spot looked at him. “She’s going to be okay. Now I need you to tell me what happened.”

“One minute she’s telling me what a pain in the ass you are at work today. And the next she’s falling to the ground. She was so still, Spot. She didn’t move for a minute or two while I called 9-1-1.” Jack cried as Dr Rush and Albert showed up.

Albert looked between Jack and Spot before nodding at them. Dr Peter Rush sighed. “Didn’t we just kick you to the curb, Plums?”

“Missed it too much. Had to come check up on all of you.” She grinned. “I’m fine you guys. It’s just a little head wound.”

Dr Rush stepped up to the bed and looked her over. “Albert, would you take Jack to the waiting room? We’re going to do some tests and you can come back in.”

Jack shook his head, giving Spot a pleading look. “I’ll come get you when we’re done, I promise.”

Letting Albert guide him, Jack sighed loudly. “Love you, Kat.”

“Love you too Jack. Go I’ll be fine. Call your brother.” She gave him a look, watching him walk away before looking at the two men in front of her. “Spot don’t start. Order a full blood work panel and see what’s up. Also, just stitch me up.”

Dr Rush chuckled. “She self diagnosed herself . . . why was I paged?”

“Possible concussion and because she’s a stubborn little thing and I needed someone to look at her.” Spot chuckled. “Anything else?”

Looking at Kat, Dr Rush gave her a look. “What year is it?”

“2020.” She grinned.

“And what day of the week is it?” He asked.

“Tuesday.”

“And what’s your puppy’s name?”

Kat grinned. “Basil.”

“I want a CT scan, I want to know why she’s fainting. I don’t think she has a concussion.” He handed her chart to Spot. “Let me know what you find out. Kat, take it easy; try to sleep some while you’re here. Let us run tests and we’ll see what’s going on.”

Waiting until he left, Spot gave her a look before drawing blood. “Did you take a test?”

Swatting him, she shook her head. “No but knowing you, you’re gonna run one. Put a rush on those, please?”

“Will do. You scared Jack.” He said, flicking the test tube a bit to ensure all the bubbles were out of it before putting a barcode on it. He would deliver the blood to the lab himself. “Do you need anything?”

She sighed, pushing herself up in the bed. “I know I scared Jack - one minute I’m complaining about you and the next I'm on the floor with his mug hovering over me. Can I have some water? Can you grab Jack?”

“I’ll have Al bring you some water. Anything to eat? And yes, I’ll grab Jack as I head to the lab.” He promised, patting her leg. “You’re going to be fine. We’ll figure this out.”

Kat smiled, biting her lip. “I had lunch. Thank you for everything, Spot.”

Spot patted her shoulder before giving her cheek a kiss. “Rest. I’ll send Jack and Al back here. Love you.”

“Love you to, Spot.” She smiled. “Thank you.”

He nodded, stepping out closing the curtain behind him before heading to the waiting room. Spot quickly found Jack sitting there with Racer beside him. They both stood as he approached. “How is she?”

“She’s good. She’s hooked up to an IV getting some fluids. We took blood work and I’ll bring it up to the lab. She’s going to be getting stitches and a CT scan and will know more in a bit.” Spot smiled at the two. “You guys can come back and sit with her if you want, until we take her up for the scan.”

They both nodded and followed him through the maze of the ER. He stopped at the desk and grinned at Al. “Hey can you come stitch up Plums? And grab her some water.”

“Sure. Thought you’d want to do that?” Al grinned, looking between Spot and the two behind him.

Fishing in his scrubs pocket, he pulled out the vial of blood. “Gotta take this to the labs. I’ll meet you guys by Kat in a bit.”

Tugging on Race’s hand, he pulled him closer. “Hi love. I’m sorry it’s so chaotic but I’m glad you’re here for Jack.”

“Hi yourself.” Race grinned, leaning over and kissing him. “Go be the hero and save the day. I’ll see you in a bit.”

With a pep in his step, Spot gave him a look before heading towards the elevator. Tapping his foot, he took a moment to inhale a deep breath before exhaling. He hoped the vial of blood would clue them in on what’s going on, though he had a pretty good feeling.

Walking into the lab, he grinned seeing Elmer standing there. “Hey man is there any way you can rush this and run this while I wait?”

Elmer gave Spot a look. “It’ll cost you.”

“Whatever it takes. I just need this done. Order should be in your inbox.” Spot handed over the vial, leaning against the wall, taking out his cell phone.

A quietness descended on the two. Spot took that time to flip through the texts he had received, most of them from Race trying to figure out what was going on with Kat. He sent Race a text to see how Kat was doing and glanced up at Elmer. “How’s your day been?”

“Busy. Y’all couldn’t have a quiet day in the ER could you?” Elmer gave him a look grinning.

Spot chuckled. “Never. But it’s been quieter than the last few days, knock on wood.”

Elmer laughed, shaking his head. “Glad you’re in the mayhem and I’m not. Alright, the tests will be in the patient's file by the time you get back downstairs.”

“Thank you! I owe you.” Spot clapped his hands, heading towards the elevator, pressing the down button.

Stepping off the elevator, he headed to the desk, pulling up Plums’ chart before reading the labs. His eyes widened at the one result, a grin pushing through his lips. Logging off the computer, he headed back to her bed. “Oh thank god you’re back.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking between Jack and Race who both had grins, Albert who was frozen halfway between the bed and the curtain and Kat who just looked half asleep.

“These two are trying to convince Al to put purple or green stitches in. They think they’re funny but they’re not.” She rolled her eyes, hand flying to her head with a groan. “Can you stop them?”

Spot gave his husband and brother-in-law a look, pointing at them. “Al go check up on status for a CT, you two sit there and touch nothing.”

Walking to a drawer, he grabbed a few things, looking at Kat. “Did he numb you up yet?”

“No. He was too busy being egged on by these two.” Kat gave him a look. “Can you assign him flu cases for the next week?”

Spot grinned. “Shhh that’s our secret. How are you feeling?”

“Slight headache and just tired.” She gave him a faint smile as he prepped to stitch her up.

“Race, don't look at Kat. Keep your eyes away from her.” Spot said, glancing over his shoulder. “Just a few more Kat.”

Snipping the thread, he threw everything just as Al came back in. “They can take her now if you’re ready.”

“You two will have to wait in the waiting room.” Spot gave Jack and Race a look as Jack started to protest. “She’s going to be upstairs, running tests. You’ll be bored so we’ll come get you once she’s back.”

“Is she going to have to stay overnight?” Jack asked, standing.

Spot shrugged. “Probably not but we’ll know more after the CT scan. Don’t panic - this is routine and normal. She’s okay, Jack.”

Kat grinned at her husband and brother as they both gave her kisses. Al and Spot transferred her upstairs, Al leaving them at radiology. “So what did my labs say?”

“You owe me.” Spot looked at her. “You’re pregnant.”

Tears clouded her eyes, as she shook her head. “Really?”

“Yup.” Spot nodded. “We can do an ultrasound if you want when you go back down.”

She chuckled. “Not exactly how I wanted Jack to find out or you and Racer.”

“But it’s kinda perfect.” Spot grinned.

She nodded, folding her hands over her stomach. “Can we not tell Jack? I will, I just want him not to find out with the hubble babloo of the ER.”

“Let me talk to Rush and we’ll see what we can do.” Spot grinned. “Now let’s get this CT scan done and we can get you out of here.”

He sent a text to Rush with Kat’s request and waited in the hall until she was done. Blink quickly read the report and didn’t see anything abnormal which they expected. Pushing her back downstairs, Spot put her back in her bed before going to find Race and Jack. “She’s back in bed. I’ll have Dr Rush come in and she should be released soon.”

“Spot, give it to me straight. Is she okay?” Jack stopped him before he started to head to the back.

He bit his lip, looking between Race and Jack. “She’s going to be okay, Jack. Dr Rush wants to look at everything before coming to talk to you guys, okay?”

Jack nodded, following Spot to the back. Race followed them, but held back as Jack went to see Kat. “You’re lying.”

“Am not.” Spot gave his husband a look. “And since when do you know all medical things?”

Race grinned. “You biting your lip is a tell. You know something.”

“Even if I knew something, I couldn’t tell you because of confidentiality.” Spot gave him a look. “Besides if they want you to know, you’ll know.”

Race’s eyes lit up. “So you do know something. Spottie . . .”

“No, Racetrack. Go in and check on Kat.” Spot pushed him towards the curtain, giving him a pointed look. “I’ve got to get the doctor then I’ll be in. Don’t be a nuisance.”

Spot watched him disappear behind the curtain before heading to the nurse’s station. He saw Dr Rush standing there and slided up beside him. “Did you see Kat’s labs?”

“I was just looking at them. Now what does she want to do?” Rush looked at him, flipping through the labs.

Spot grinned. “She doesn’t want us to tell them about the lab results. So I was thinking we tell them she was dehydrated and she needs to push fluids for the next couple of hours.”

Dr Rush nodded, motioning him towards Kat’s curtain. Spot walked behind him, pulling the curtain closed behind him.

They stepped in and all eyes turned to them. “We have your results. Looks like you’re dehydrated but everything looks good. I would suggest taking it easy for the next couple of days and push fluids - water and juice. Skip the alcohol.”

Jack leaned over and kissed Kat’s forehead with a strangled chuckled. He closed his eyes, continuing to kiss her forehead. “Any questions?”

Kat laughed, shaking her head. “I think we’re all set. When can I leave?”

“As soon as Spot writes up the discharge papers.” Rush gave them all a look before stepping out of the curtain. Spot looked at the pure excitement in the room and the relief on Jack’s face. “Kat, do you need anything?”

She looked at Race and Jack who were both grinning brightly at her, a weight lifted from their shoulders at their wife and sister being alright. “Nah I think I’m alright. Just get the papers ready?”

“I’ll get them ready.” Spot chuckled. “How are you getting home?”

Race raised his hand. “I told them I would take them home since Jack rode in the ambulance with them.”

Nodding, Spot left the area, heading over to the nurse’s desk to start the paperwork. Spot logged into the computer, reviewing his notes before typing them up. Finishing them up, he quickly printed them off. Grabbing that and a prescription that printed off, he headed back to Kat’s area.

“Basically, keep hydrated, rest, don’t do anything dumb.” Spot gave Jack the paperwork, giving him a look. “Keep her calm, even though she doesn’t have a concussion, she might have a hell of a headache. Let me know if you have any questions.”

Jack nodded, giving him a look. “Thank you Spot. I’ll text you if I have any questions.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He gave Kat a look. “Let Jack wait on you hand and foot. No Dr Plums today . . . it’s just Katherine for the day. Go watch all those Hallmark movies you love and cuddle Basil.”

He started taking the wires and IV out before giving her a look. “Do you need anything before you go?”

She shook her head as Albert came up with a wheelchair, before helping her into the wheelchair. Patting Jack’s back, Spot watched them walk out of the area with a smile on his face. He just hoped that Kat would tell him sooner rather than later.

Race caught him as he walked out of the area. “Hey, what time will you be home tonight?”

“Around 5. You still making dinner?” Spot asked, giving his hand a squeeze.

Race nodded. “Pasta, right or do you want something else?”

“Kind of craving homemade pizza.” Spot grinned. “I’ll see you at home, I love you.”

“Love you too. Have a good rest of your shift.” Race kissed him, waving goodbye before heading out of the emergency room.

Going back to the desk, he collapsed in the chair, rubbing his hand over his face with a loud sigh. Closing his eyes for a moment, he listened to the noises around him. He heard the chair next to him slide across the floor, as he peaked an eye open. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m doing as well as I can be right now.” Spot sighed. “Got another two hours before I’m done and all I want is a bed for a nap. How are you doing? Ready for all the incoming flu cases coming your way?”

Albert threw his head back, groaning. “Ha you’re funny. I’m fine. I wasn’t in the room all that much but it seems as if Kat’s alright - just dehydrated from what I saw.”

Spot nodded, grinning. “I’m sure Jack will be the perfect nurse for him.”

The next two hours passed by without an issue, a few simple cuts and bruises and an arm that needed to be set. He quickly grabbed his stuff before clocking out and heading home. He sighed, getting into the car, starting to head home.

He was looking forward to laying on the couch with Sassie, their dog, and looking forward to whatever kind of pizza Race was making that night. Pulling into their driveway, he quickly got out before slamming the car door behind him. Walking up the sidewalk, he pushed open the door, inhaling deeply, sighing in content at the spiciness in the house.

“Honey I’m home.” He tiredly called, dropping his bag and kicking off his shoes. “And it’s been a hell of a day.”

Race poked his head out of the kitchen while Sassie made her way over to him. He patted her a few times, before leaning over and kissing Race. “I love you. It was good to have you in the emergency room and not be the patient.”

“I love you too and you’re not funny.” Race rolled his eyes, walking into the kitchen. “I have a beer open and ready for you.”

Quickly changing into sweatpants and a hoodie, he sat at the kitchen table and watched Race finish up dinner. He relaxed in the chair and listened to Race prattle on about anything and everything. As they were finishing up dinner, both of their cell phones chirped with a text message. “OH HELL YES!”

Race did a weird jig in the middle of the kitchen, with the biggest grin on his face. Spot gave him a look. “What?”

“WE’RE GONNA BE UNCLES, SPOTTIE!!!!” Race yelled, continuing his jig. “Jack just texted the news.”

Spot grinned, shaking his head, standing up and joining him in his awkward jig. The secret would stay with him now. In this moment, he would jig with his husband and celebrate the happy news.

There’s almost 3500 words of another emergency room fic featuring doc Kat and nurse Spottie. Hope you all enjoyed it. Let me know what you think!

#Newsies #Newsies Fan Fiction #writing #ask #drabble prompt #newsies drabble #jack kelly x katherine plumber #Katherine Plumber #Jack Kelly #Racetrack Higgins #spot conlon #Katherine is a Doctor and Spot is a Nurse #Life In The ER Newsies Series

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ramblinganthropologist · 7 years ago

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MER Week Days 3 and 6

Prompts: Midnight Rendezvous and Break my Heart

Eh heh heh... I’ve been wanting to do this one for a while. >:3c

Summary: What’s left behind when Commander Shepard dies? Not a lot for Bo to hold onto. It’s hardest at night, and it’s not easier with what remains. But sometimes it helps. Setting: Between 1 and 2.

---

-June 23, 2183-

Bo wasn't sure what she hated more: the sound of military music or her formal uniform.

Both were grating on her nerves as she sat there in a green field covered in headstones. Most of them were small. After all, in that day and age they rarely got a whole body back. At best, ashes were buried there under the names and dates. Sometimes... well, the less said about the larger plots the better.

For her, there was nothing left.

She clenched her fist tight as she stared down at the small plot of ground that had been marked out for the Citadel's savior. In plain dates, “Commander Alistair Michael Shepard, 2156-2183” was spelled out in heavy black letters. Nothing but the basic facts about the man who was anything but, even if she had said otherwise.

“Fuck.”

The ceremony had been over for a while now. People had tried to give her sympathy but it had bounced off her like bullets off her armor. Bo had just stood there, staring at the ground. Maybe she was numb, maybe she was pissed. It wasn't every day she got to watch her best friend memorialized.

The priest was an asshole; Al wasn't Catholic anyway.

“Excuse me, Commander Shepard?”

For a brief second, Bo didn't move. After all, someone that polite would have been for Alistair. It took her a second to remember that he wasn't at her fucking side where he was supposed to be, fielding comments for her. Her buffer was gone now, and she had to face it alone. So, she turned to face them, not really looking.

They had a box in their hands and an Alliance uniform on their back. She didn't really notice the rank or the face. Details like that didn't really matter lately – someone would probably say that was depression. Honestly, she was just tired. Some asshole with a degree would probably say that was depression too.

“Yeah?”

They didn't shrink back from the bite to her voice. She had to give them that. “We recovered this from the crash. As next of kin, it's yours.”

They handed the box over without another word. “All we found was some armor and his pistol. I'm sorry we couldn't give you more.”

And then they left Bo alone with the little box that held the one possession Alistair loved almost as much as his hamster. She would have laughed, but it just wouldn't come out. Instead, she just stared at it, frowning. Then she gave the box a shake – too much rattled around for it to be in one piece. Given the Normandy had blown up, that was to be expected.

Disappointing... he had always liked that damn little gun. Even when there were better models, ones that maybe accounted for his shitty aiming, it was at his side like a little red nightmare. Dead eye, dumb gun. That had been her brother.

And now it was all she had left.

“Fuck.”

That was all Bo could get out as she turned to walk away from the empty grave, broken gun in hand. What else could she say? It wouldn't bring Alistair back if she suddenly developed his ability to speak to people, nor would it make her feel any better. All she could do was just keep walking and hope she figured out the rest later.

Stupid Alistair... he had to get himself blown up for his own damn pilot.

-December 11, 2183-

Explosions were what shot Bo out of bed that morning.

None of them were real – she would have been moving faster if they had been. But she heard them all the same and saw the Normandy exploding before her very eyes as she sat there on the edge of her bed, sweat pouring down her face and her chest heaving from the effort. It took every effort to remember she wasn't in space, and the only thing that was threatening to explode was her heart. Even after a few seconds of staring around the dark room, it didn't calm down.

So it was going to be one of those nights, huh?

“What fucking time is it?”

Somewhere off to the side, her computer glowed. “The current time is 02:30.”

The pleasant voice that came from the speakers had a thick Irish accent that hadn't been reproduced well. Where vowels and consonants came together, the awkward electronics showed themselves. It wasn't a person.

It wasn't Alistair.

Bo took a deep breath as she looked over at the computer again. Even in the darkness, she could see the little hologram standing there, projected by her screen. The voice had come from a VI she had picked up her last time at the Citadel. The man selling it had cowered and given her a deeply discounted rate. He should have – the damn thing was broken half the time.

She sat down at her desk, not really looking at the little projection of her brother in his fatigues. He hated wearing those – something about them never fitting right in the legs and causing him to trip if he didn't roll them up right. It had been his curse of being so damn short.

“Anything good?”

The Shepard VI was as cheery as always. “You have 74 unread messages and one missed vid call from Admiral Anderson.”

Bo rolled her eyes as she briefly scrolled down. Nothing she gave a fuck about. “Delete them and remind me to call Anderson later.”

“Can do.” Then the VI switched to its deletion message. “I get rid of you on the way to real problems.”

She had to laugh, but it was like there was broken glass in her throat. It was her words in Alistair's dumb accent like some fucked up fusion nightmare. The real one would have never said anything like that. Hell, he probably would've offered to fix his own damn VI if he were around to see just how buggy it was.

Something about that was so wrong it had to make her laugh, but damn if it didn't hurt when she did it.

“Those volus patching you need to get off their asses and fix the personality. Did they get us mixed up again?”

Pleasant Alistair VI was back. “Sending a note to the development team. Thanks for your feedback, you make the galaxy safer.”

Nerdy; that was closer. Bo shook her head as she looked at her empty inbox and the pending call. Part of her – she swore it had an accent – was telling her to pick up her omni-tool and give Anderson a call. Then it was telling her to put on pants and go do something outside. All were sensible, yet horrible ideas and she didn't want to do any of them.

“Fuck I don't even know.”

Her leave was almost over, and then it was back to who even fucking knew. The Hong Kong wasn't around to take her back – even if they had loved her. Like the Normandy it was smashed to a thousand pieces and just as useful. Maybe the Council would want her to do something. Those fuckers owed her one after all.

A couple ones, but she would settle for one. Just... something. Anything.

Something wet trickled down her face – maybe the ceiling had finally sprung a leak due to her dumb ass neighbors upstairs. Bo didn't investigate it. She just kept staring at the damn VI, half hoping that it would do something other than read her messages for her. But it just stood there, waiting for her to give it a task to complete.

And the ones she needed it couldn't do. She had learned the hard way that a VI couldn't hug for shit.

“Maybe I should go back to bed.”

Her bones creaked as she started back over towards her unmade bed. Sometime during the struggle, her pillow had wound up on the floor. Grumbling, she bent to pick it up. That was when she felt it in her lower back – a dull pain throbbed to life.

“Fuck!”

She slapped her hand over it just as a similar burning ache stabbed its way through her lower leg. Bo fell back on the bed, half expecting gunfire. When she pulled her hand away there was nothing there, though. She wasn't bleeding – shit just fucking hurt.

“Are you ok, Commander Shepard? Do you require medical attention?”

Now that was fucking Al. Maybe the volus were finally on to something.

Bo blinked back surprise as she looked down to the source of pain on her leg. It wasn't anywhere she had been injured before as far as she could remember. Instead, it was centralized around a band of pinks and reds inked into her skin. Even in the dark, her fingers found her way to the tattoo and rubbed against it.

“Commander Shepard?”

Another throb, this time from her lower back and right where another tattoo was. Bo's eyes went higher than the VI, to a shelf she hadn't touched since she had installed it. On it rested a dusty box, marked down “personal effects” in ink that hadn't started to fade.

“Can't be.” but it was hurting right where her N7 tattoo was inked into her skin, as bad as it had when she had first gotten it with Alistair on the Citadel. He had had a matching one inked in the same spot on his own skin, though he had complained about it the entire time it was healing. For a medic, it was almost funny.

It had always hurt when either of them were about to do something stupid.

A strange smile crossed her face as she managed to get back into bed. “See if there are any available shuttles out of here in the morning.”

“Can do, Commander. Remember to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night for optimum efficiency.”

Hopefully, someone else was hurting as much as she was, because Bo wasn't going to be getting any sleep that night. But as a plan formed in her head, she couldn't say she minded much at all.

-April 11, 2184-

“You have two missed vid calls from ID “Bonecrusher” and “Demonslinger” and three unread messages from the Alliance.”

“Tell them they can suck it I'm busy.”

The bruises from last night's fight were still healing and it hurt to move. Bo really should have been resting or at the very least swimming in medigel. Instead, she was at her desk pouring over a bunch of dumb, stupid pieces.

In front of her, oh so careful dissembled, was a pistol. Half the pieces were new, bought or fought for during her time on Omega. The rest, the more beat up looking ones, were the originals she was trying to build around.

It didn't help Alistair never fucking cleaned his guns right. Fuckin' southpaws.

“I have informed them you are busy.” VI Alistair popped up in front of her. “Do you require assistance?”

Bo scowled as she held a piece up to the light – this was a new one, to help fit in the clips the pistol was being modified to use. “Pull up the Stinger maintenance manual again. I think I got this damn thing on backwards.”

The diagrams popped up large enough for her to read without her glasses on – yep, the damn thing was backwards AND upside down on top of it. She scowled and turned it right side up, then clicked it back into place. That sound was becoming oddly therapeutic in a way only knocking Krogan skulls in had been as of late.

They had always said she had laser focus back in school. Once again, she was proving them right.

Alistair VI glowed for a second as she continued to work. “Update: the part you ordered has come in. You can pick it up in the morning.”

“Great, make sure that asshole isn't trying to short change me again.” Bo grabbed her glasses from her forehead and pushed them down onto her face in order to inspect the next part. “Otherwise they're going to be my 13th win in the ring next week.”

The little VI of her brother flashed for a second – there were those damn bugs again. “Confirmed. Your message has been sent. Do you need anything else?”

“I need the full diagram for the Stinger firing system again. Damn thing looks like it needs another part.”

Maybe at this point it would've been easier to just get another a fucking gun. It wasn't like the Stinger pistol was particularly hard to find. Maybe a little rare on Omega, but that was more personal preference than scarcity. The mercs there liked flashier models that had a shotgun's kick to them. She could appreciate a good shotgun as much as the next person, but it wasn't her taste in consideration.

Besides, it was a pain in the ass to modify any fucking gun to be left handed. Why couldn't her dumb brother learn to shoot right handed like a normal person?

Alistair VI worked quietly, but he talked while he did it. “Searching. The Stinger pistol is a favorite of mine.”

“I know it is, that's why I'm fixing it.” She held a piece up to the light and then slid it in. “You're going to need a working gun when I find you.”

Maybe it was wishful thinking or maladaptive coping or just plain denial, but tattoos didn't lie. Hers especially didn't. Somewhere, she knew deep down in her gut that the dumb ass who owned the gun she was working on was going to want it back. And hell, she was more than ready to give it to him and then some.

The VI flashed its error message. “Request misunderstood. Could you please repeat?”

“Ah, forget it.” Bo reached for another tiny tool in order to work on the grip. “Play my workout music, 60% volume.”

Loud, high energy music began to pour into her apartment as Bo lost herself in the work. If she was lucky, she'd finish her modification on the Stinger's grip before she had to square off in the ring again. If not... well, as long as they didn't break her arm she'd be good to go.

And hopefully, it would be good to go with her modifications when she saw Alistair again. With any luck, that asshole would appreciate having a gun that shot a little steadier the next time she saw him. That would be after she kicked his ass for dying, of course.

After all, that was just rude. Who went off as a big, stupid hero without saying when they would be back?

#merweek2018 #Bo Peep Shepard #ramblinganthropologist's writing #Alistair Shepard #Commander Shepard

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drybonesawaken · 4 years ago

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A group of people wanted to share a journal together. So this week, I've been journaling (almost) every day, and tomorrow I'm gonna be passing it onto the next person.

It was kinda fun. Bit scary to put my thoughts out there - but not that bad tbh. I figured since I am not gonna keep the journal I should transcribe my thoughts somewhere, so here they are.

Yes, the math bits were included in the journal when I wrote. Just something fun I did. You can try to figure out if it means anything if you want :)

Maple 3.27.21

I don't like journaling .-. mah handwriting sucks, and pen ink takes too long to dry. Apologies If any of this page is smudged as a result ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And no, Maple does not use anything but pen. When mistakes are made, and trust they will definitely be made, you see a lot of bleh <- that. I also missed like three words in the previous sentence, but it's messy to try to go back and put them in :( this is the consequence of writing when brain is running at negative mph... This may be two paragraphs of nothing, but honestly that's how my day goes, usually. Right now I'm listening to this audiobook to fill up my brain and stop it from thinking. It's quite interesting. I read the book back in middle school, and it's taking me on a trip down memory lane. I was listening to this earlier while playing tetris, too. I'm joining a tetris tournament tomorrow, so I've been grinding this week. Hopefully it goes well! It's funny how I spend so much time playing this game which means so little - but somehow, I find fulfillment in the emptiness that it brings me. Breaking personal records is such a meaningless ordeal, but somehow it's something I strive so hard to do. These days, PBs come once every couple of months. It's not worth it.

Maple 3.28.21

Today felt like I did everything and nothing all at the same time. I found out I don't like tetris tournaments. I hung out with some friends. I ate a big dinner. I made some choices I highkey regretted, yet couldn't stop myself from making in the moment. I spent some time sulking over said mistakes by cuddling with roommate. Very thankful for him - I definitely make him so uncomfortable LOL but he puts up with it because he knows touch is my love language. I was debating for awhile today over what I should eat for dinner (or breakfast or lunch or whatever you want to call it :') ) and I realized what I wanted to eat most was my own cooking. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling like cooking, so I had to settle for something else, but this was kind of a wake up call: when's the last time I cooked for myself? hmmm... It's also at the same time pretty cool because less than a year ago, I was still at a place where I strongly disliked my cooking and only ate it because I had to. Crazy how things can change in just a year - my culinary skills must have improved a lot over last summer... I really need to get my car tires fixed tomorrow. I have time tomorrow. I had better go. If I don't, my car is gonna break.

How does one stop beating themselves up for their mistakes? I don't struggle with forgiveness, but oh how I struggle with forgiving myself...

1 + 2 = 4 = 2

Maple 3.30.21

Yesterday, we had to record something for Easter that took forever. It was not fun. I kept messing up. And my perfectionist self kept blabbering about wanting to redo certain things. Everyone was tired - it went so long - some people had exams; I can only imagine how annoying it must have been to hear me complaining about doing things again, and yet - and I hate myself for this - I couldn't help but keep bringing it up. Of course, being unsatisfied with the way I played, I volunteered to patch things up in post production. *sigh*, what a mistake that ended up being. Afterwards, I was tired and wanted to go home. Yet, because someone asked, and I guess I was a bit hungry, I decided to go get food with Junshik and Bryan. My ulterior motive was to talk to Bryan about buying cars, so I guess that worked out. But yikes, I only got 7 hours of sleep last night. - Today sucked. I'm realizing more and more that part of depression is the complete dependence on sleep. When I get not enough sleep, I'm not just fatigued: my life is just hell. I straight up no-showed to a meeting and apologized for it 8 hours after the fact (my excuse was that I feel asleep. Wow, something so embarrassing most people would find an excuse for it has now become my go to excuse. Rip). Went to a meetup because I didn't want to cancel - again - so that was fun (sorry if you're reading this. I lied when I said that I was ok :/). Life group was great I wanted to die but I was leading worship so I couldn't just leave. And oh yeah I just spent the last 4 hours after life group mixing that audio clip because stupid ol' me volunteered to do it asap yesterday. Tomorrow will be fun. I have 7 meetings/meetups from 9am to 8pm. I wonder how many I'll cancel last minute, or straight up skip...? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I hate ______.

Maple 3.31.21

9am to 8pm today was rough. It's kinda crazy - when I wake up, I knew it wasn't gonna be a good day...but I really needed it to be at least an okay day. And I think I somehow willed that into existence :O I need to try this again sometime. Didn't cancel or skip a single thing today! (Praise God!!!) After my meetings all ended, I had to tutor for another 3 hours until 11:30, too. That was draining. I also pranked a friend today - told her I was dating right after midnight. Oh I love April Fools. She's the only one I can consistently troll year after year. I also spent a considerable amount of time after midnight trying to figure out how to script Audacity in Python. Useless, sure, but it could save us sound people a couple of minutes every Sunday if I figure it out. This is what my degree is for :') Sleep is going to feel so good tonight.

5 + 4 - 7 = 2 + 1 11 + 1 + 1 - 1 = 6 4 + 2 = 3 5 = 2 + 2 - 3 5 = 4 - 1 - 2

Maple 4.2.21

I think my handwriting is getting better with this almost-daily practice =) This whole week has been busy-ness from when I wake up to when I go to bed. Hung out with people yesterday for the first time this week, and it was pretty tiring. I can't say I regret it though; I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about certain people. Recently, I've been noticing that people can tell when I'm tired a lot more obviously - someone on worship team who I only interact with on Sundays literally called me out for it. I'm finding that it just sort of slips onto my face, in such a way that I don't notice and can't even recognize it: I'm shocked every time it happens. Maybe it's because I've lost the will to live, so the lack of will to hide it came alongside as well. I accidentally let it slip that I've been brain empty to worship team today, and now there are even more people worried for me, some of whom I barely know. I'm such a burden :( Brain empty is honestly such a mood though. I have too many problems and not enough will to confront them. Better to just avoid. Yeah yeah yeah this is not healthy I know. I'll save doing things the healthy way for tomorrow :')

1 + 1 = 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 8 = 7 6 - 5 = 10 + 1 1 + 2 = 1 - 1

Maple 4.3.21

Today was supposed to be a more chill day, but it really wasn't... Forced myself to get out of bed for a meetup rather than cancel it. I think if I had cancelled it, everything else I had to do today would have followed suit shortly after.... It ended up being a 2-hour meetup, straight into 2.5 hours of tutoring. As much as they might have been pretty ok tbh, I can't say I enjoyed it. I was so dead afterwards. I wanted to cancel my dinner meetup so bad. But I had already gone shopping earlier today (during the first meetup) so that I could cook for him. And I knew if I cancelled it'd be another week before I'd have a chance. The food would have gone bad. So following 2 tilt-inducing matches of tetris which were supposed to be stress relieving (they were not), commenced 2 hours of cooking, followed by a 3.5 hr meetup. It was... haha... Did I enjoy it? Yup. Did I have a hella-thick mask on the whole time? Also yup. I'm so ready for a long hot shower and an early bedtime. Tomorrow is Easter. I'm not feeling very victorious...

1 + 2 = 4 - 1 1 + 1 - 1 + 1 = 1 1 + 2 + 3 - 4 = 4 - 1 - 2 + 1

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cosmosogler · 7 years ago

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considering i went to bed after 11 last night you can imagine how my waking-up-at-7-15 went.

i didn’t feel like working out so i just showered and got ready for the day. i switched the side my hair part is on just because i felt like it. instead of leaving for the department at 9:15 or so i instead decided to finish a comic i’ve been following that ended a few days ago. i was going back through the archives since it was ~120 pages long. it takes so much longer to read than it used to. in general, i mean.

didn’t have time for a taz episode today. i want to get through the live shows before i start the next arc (the suffering game) and each of those are 2 hours long.

i did leave for campus before 11 today though, which was better than yesterday. and i had finished reading a thing before i left so that was even better than yesterday! i didn’t FEEL better than yesterday though. when i did finally get into the office and sit down i had a lot of trouble settling in and getting focused. i still did like 6 work sessions... and i only stayed until 6 or so. i finished reading chapter 1 of my mechanics book, which is what the first homework (due wednesday) is based on. and i finished my quantum assignment (also due wednesday). so i am more than halfway done with the work due this week and we’re not even at tuesday yet. i didn’t start the mechanics assignment, because by the end of the day i was so agitated that i was gonna cry if i didn’t eat something. suzanne drove me home thankfully since i missed the last bus by about 10 minutes. i was going to make it, but then i forgot i needed to pack and kind of just sat there and quibbled over the last quantum problem instead until i realized i had forgotten to leave.

my brain feels... like i pulled something, i guess? like i have no thoughts when i try to think about mechanics. there is just nothing when i try to focus on what the words on the assignment mean. it’s so frustrating! but i really do need to rest.

mental fatigue is a thing i just discovered on google. maybe i knew about it before, but it feels new. even though the feeling itself is not new at all. memory problems, man.

so when i got home i immediately made myself dinner. then i caught up on some youtube videos i’d put in my bookmarks earlier. when it got to be about 9-ish i started working on a budget, now that i know exactly how much each paycheck is going to be.

it’s not much.

i actually don’t know if i will be able to afford both mine and snoopy’s medications long term. rent might be 30 dollars more than i think it is- the apartment’s web site lists a “30-dollar concession” for me that i’m not sure about. i don’t know if it’s from when mom and i accidentally paid a fee twice and now it’s just getting taken out of my first rent payment, or if it’s a monthly thing for some other reason (why is rent 30 dollars more than advertised on their site?).

anyway i made a really nice-looking budget excel sheet with colors and calculator tricks and tables! so at least SOMETHING got done this evening. something, like, work-related and not leisure-related.

tomorrow i gotta teach a two-hour lab, and then i need to call a dentist because my teeth really hurt. and i also gotta meet with my three professors about the accommodation letters, which could take anywhere from 15 minutes to 90 minutes depending on which professors get hung up on it. i already know the e&m professor is going to take at least 15 minutes. not sure if the other two will just say “ok thanks for letting me know” and let me work on my mechanics homework or not. suzanne said the assignment would take all day if i started tomorrow.

i mean, i ain’t really doin anything else i guess. if i finish the assignment i’m just going to keep trying to catch up with the mechanics reading. we’re on chapter 3 of the textbook already. it took me like 4 hours to finish chapter 1.

mom was looking at my medications i had left on my dresser today and i can’t remember if i took my leftover surgery painkillers to the police station or not. if i didn’t... well, mom’s not above “convincing” me i didn’t need stuff that she wanted. i did actually need my pain meds after i had my wisdom teeth out a few years ago but i didn’t have them because mom decided she needed them more! i’ve probably complained about that before though.

guess i don’t have any control over that situation any more. i mean, the “did i take the meds to the police station” situation. but that applies to basically every other situation too.

it’s 10:15 and i’m hoping to be in bed around 10:30 so i should start wrapping up. snoopy’s getting more tolerant of the goopy stuff i gotta give her twice a day. i mean, she won’t take it herself, but she’s willing to take some cookies from me afterward instead of making me leave them on the ottoman for her.

she’s starting to respond to her name and some other words i use. she doesn’t come running when i call her the way ping did, but she does materialize behind me every time i say “cookies.” and when i say “hi snoopy” when i get home she’ll poke her head out from my bed area and meow at me and run over to where i put my keys. and she does look over when i say her name at least. she’s a chill cat. i like her a lot.

i’m exhausted... i wish more grad students would work in the office on weekends. i feel bad pestering suzanne every five minutes when i’m actually working on homework problems. at least i’m extremely confident that my answers this time are actually correct. i’m not ENTIRELY sure what the last problem was asking for writing-wise, but the math is as good as we could get it. it should have taken about 2 minutes but i was so wiped out and hazy by the end of the day that it took over 40 because we were all making it way more complicated than it needed to be.

maybe everyone else was tired too. i shouldn’t keep assuming everyone knows more than i do. i mean... they kinda do. they are in grad classes and i got kicked back to undergrad. but when i explain problems it seems to help people figure out what they need to do. it was kind of like that in undergrad too. people seemed helped by the questions i asked even if it was just because i wasn’t sure what was going on.

it’s not that i hold people to really high standards as much as it is that i assume they are already there and i have fallen behind. i can’t read other people’s minds so i assume they know what they are talking about. but that’s still assuming! so i guess i just suck at not jumping to faulty conclusions.

that’s where i’m at. i’m going to get ready for bed now and maybe i can nab 8 and a half hours of sleep before i gotta teach in the morning. that might help me feel a little better.

i want to make a tofu dish that will be more filling than salad. but it doesn’t seem like the grocery store near my apartment sells any non-premade-freezer-meal soy products. suzanne and taylor suggested trader joe’s but i’m not sure how the cost would work out yet.

night.

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worldcakecakecake · 8 years ago

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Feliciano and the King of Hearts

Chosen by the gods as the Queen of Hearts from the moment of birth, we follow Feliciano’s story as he grows into royal life, learns to rule, go against age old customs, and his relationship with his husband to be, the King of Hearts.

Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 I Chapter 9I Chapter 10 I Chapter 11I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14 I Chapter 15 I Chapter 16 I Chapter 17 I Chapter 18 I Chapter 19 I Chapter 20 I Chapter 21 I Chapter 22 I Chapter 23 I Chapter 24 I Chapter 25 I Chapter 26 I Chapter 27 I Chapter 28 I Chapter 29 I Chapter 30 I Chapter 31

I feel like it’s been a century since I last updated this. I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to update, but not only has university been choking me, personal family matters have been just as harsh. Updates for this one will continue to be slow, but as always, be patient and I hope that you at least enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 32

Everything, from the passage of their morning, to the afternoon, even to the night, remained exactly the same. Sand dunes, more sand, maybe an occasional rock, boulder or dried up tree. The only sound was that of the wind blowing through their ears, their voices not partaking in some friendly chatter that many times Feliciano tried to start between them. Ludwig always answered with silence, his gaze to the continuing front and to the compass in his hand, still north.

Apparently speaking to Feliciano was considered one of the distractions that Tino had warned about. Feliciano had settled speaking only with Pookie, who answered with cute little roars or a cuddling to either his shoulder or cheek. Ludwig tried to make their stops quick, only to replenish their bodies on water, food, refresh with cooling spells and then be insisting on Feliciano to move. So many times Ludwig had to stop because Feliciano was looming too far behind, tempted to just carry him the rest of the way, but Feliciano always managed to reach, to continue, trying to stand strong against the fatigue that would arise so he could prove himself to Ludwig. He didn’t need his scolds or his commands, especially with this heavy heat that only made everything more stressful.

When night had reached, the tiredness in them was one of needed sleep, and finally they could stop to make that rest. Ludwig was in charge of putting up a tent the Vikings had given them while Feliciano heated and prepared the food they were given. Not his ideal, but he shouldn’t complain when he was in the middle of a dessert and he didn’t have his cabinet of sauces and spices. They huddled together inside the tent, quite cool now, their focus on only the food Feliciano had served in their bowls. As soon as it was done, Feliciano settled outside with Ludwig, sitting, starring into the expanse of stars above them. Feliciano sketched it in his notebook, trying to remain in one page since it was the only book he had, needing to make it last the whole trip.

Despite being a dessert, there was a sudden beauty to it that deserved three more pages of art.

“Feliciano, go to sleep,” Ludwig insisted, not scolding, not mad, actually with concern, yet he didn’t stand, his stare still on the horizon, remaining strong in his watchful sitting.

“If I’m going to, you should as well,” Feliciano said back, not stopping at all his sketching, now wishing he could add some color.

“Someone has to keep watch,”

“For what? There’s nothing for miles, the only ones who know about us here are the jokers who will pick us up, you’ll be losing sleep for nothing.” Feliciano could get just as scolding and Ludwig was rather startled from it, trying hard to hide a grin.

“You never know what kind of bandits are out there. Don’t you remember the tales of Fawzi?”

As if those silly childish stories could be proof enough, Feliciano couldn’t believe this was coming out from Ludwig’s mouth.

“Of course, it was my father who read them to us.”

Vicenzo had an old book lying about the house from his own old family heritage of these very provinces which made him a Romani in other Kingdoms.

“Do you think Fawzi would appear with his sword of golden triumph to save us if the bandits of Brazia appeared to take our Spheres of Validity?” Feliciano wondered childishly, easing in like a secret between them as they used to do.

Ludwig actually found himself chuckling. “He’s the main hero of the Sahara Dessert, of course he will,”

“But what about his weakness! The iron hatchet, wielded by the evil Tarik!”

“Little does anybody know Tarik himself also has a weakness,” Ludwig admitted proudly, which got shock from Feliciano.

“He does?”

“I found something in the castle long ago.” He ushered for him to come closer, to tell him in whispers even if they were the only ones there. “Fire from a Queen.”

Feliciano glowed. “Nothing to fear! I will protect us both then!” He proclaimed, standing with a proud and obnoxious pose, gaze to the air, foot on a rock and hands on his hips. “Brazia would think twice before messing with us!”

“You blew up the fire place the last time you tried to light up something,”

“My power is just the danger our enemies need to run,”

“I hope you know where to aim,”

“I will! I will be worthy!”

“Sit down, you’re being embarrassing!”

Feliciano laughed, wildly, alive and vibrant, another star from the many ones that hanged. Moments like these made Ludwig realize how beautiful Feliciano truly was, how much he still adored his smile, hoping he could say more to keep him this brimming. He let a small grin show, which had Feliciano hypnotized, silence between as they used it to admire.

No, Ludwig knew he couldn’t, he instantly shut it, turned away, soured his face well into his grown male features.

“Please…go to sleep,” he insisted once again, turned away, suddenly maddened.

Feliciano’s mood instantly shut down along with his change, disappointed that they couldn’t continue in this game, in these laughs, in enjoyment for the night.

Feliciano sigh disappointedly into his command, beginning his stand. “Only if you join me as well, I won’t let you miss your sleep.” Feliciano was not going to move until then, no matter how long Ludwig still sat on.

He thought that Feliciano would give up on this, head inside and forget, but to his surprise he didn’t, heavy eyes on him to let him know that yes he was still there and still waiting. Ludwig sigh and had to deny to this watching, standing, opening the flap to their tent and granting access to Feliciano first. Feliciano smiled gladly, proud that his own insisting worked, coming inside after being quickly followed by Ludwig. Pookie rolled his eyes after witnessing this.

Ludwig and Feliciano slept in their own side of the tent, the center for Pookie to rest and where they lay their things. From the cool air of the night, the new day brought new intense heat, one that only caused them to turn and fret in whatever was left of their sleep. They should probably wake up, continue on the route, but tiredness was heavy on them and sleeping a little bit longer seemed like it wouldn’t do them much damage.

Pookie, having better sense than the two, suddenly awoke when he felt a distinct rumbling from afar. He looked around hoping he could better identify what it could be, but it was strange. He flew over to Feliciano hoping to wake him up, but the brunet shooed him away, hoping for more minutes of sleep. Pookie thought about biting him for a moment, but that was when the rumbling became clearer, the sounds potent, a coming presence that Ludwig and Feliciano, not even in their sleep, could ignore. They stood in fear, quickly dressing in what they could from what the Vikings gave them.

It came closer and closer, until Ludwig and Feliciano could identify shouts, human presence, a large force like that of an army. Feliciano was trembling in fear, gulping, wishing he had more guts to go out there and see what this could be; luckily he had Ludwig for that.

The vibrating stopped, shouts between whoever was out there being called in some Diamond dialect that they couldn’t understand. Feliciano was about ready to shout, but Ludwig quickly covered his mouth, holding him tight to him, an arm wrapped around his waist to keep him from moving, from causing more presence that would get these strangers to know. They remained like this, trying to guess what was happening outside with mere sounds, guessing bandits, soldiers, maybe even dark magicians or some branch of Khaos’s men. Silence reigned for so long that Feliciano wanted to hope that they had left without disturbance.

“Your highness!” One shouted, in a familiar tongue to them.

Yes the person addressed to them respectively, but her tone was harsh, commanding, and fearsome that it only scared Feliciano the more.

“Stay here until I think it’s safe,” Ludwig warned him with a piercing glare, his hands tight on his arms hoping Feliciano would understand enough to stay put. He nodded and obeyed, and Ludwig, trusting that Feliciano would remain obedient to it, slowly began to head out of the tent.

The sun’s harshness welcomed him with a smack, so strong that Ludwig squinted, hand above his eyes to try and notice the figures that were present, powerful and even mystical as they stood above the sand, with covered and readied gear that made them impenetrable to whatever this dessert could challenge them with. Their heads and faces were covered with masks, goggles and mantels, all a singular color to match well with the colors of the dust and wind, some golden intricate designs at the edge to remind them of their original culture, their original province and kingdom, despite who they were, seen in the symbol they all had sewn into the front of their shirts. They were Jokers.

Ludwig finally noticed behind them three other ship-like structures, the cause of surely all the rumbling they had heard earlier, unlike any he had seen. Large wood panels that extended flat, ending with two canoe-like boats underneath for them to sail the sand quicker and easily, decorated walls on top to serve as rooms for navigation, for resting, for eating, windows framing from which others starred to the Heartian arising King in their own sitting. Geometrical designs spread around every opening, with calligraphy of their language, ceilings that extended magnificently to keep shade to those who wanted to remain outside the walls, their legs falling down playfully, distances safe from having sand attack them, but a height that they could easily be killed from if they fell off in movement. All these people starred and only stood towards Ludwig’s direction, nothing but the rushing of the wind between them, creating the division that they knew they had to come across.

Ludwig took that passage, coming closer to them, and so one of their own approached, until they were before each other, unarmed and meeting in silence. As a show of trust, of reaching and of welcoming, the figure that seemed to be the leader removed her head gear, long waved dark brown hair flowing across her back, large brown eyes, dark skin with occasional golden dots, seeming granted by the magic of the sun. She looked exceptionally young, making Ludwig wonder if she was perhaps a mere teenager. Not the kind of person he expected as the leader of a distinct group of Jokers.

“Dua Hakim,” she introduced, with a bow, one to which Ludwig bowed just as respectively to.

“I assume you are the help contacted by Berwald,”

“We are indeed, and we are all sure that you are the arising King of Hearts, although I fail to see his highness the arising Queen of Hearts.” She gazed around the area, only spotting the tent and their burned firewood.

“Feliciano!” Ludwig simply called.

After a moment of passing seconds, Feliciano hesitantly headed out, shaking, still intimidated by their amounts, their strange wears and boat contraptions. He felt rather awkward as he tried to put on the scarf, jacket and vest the Vikings had given him, messily and clearly showing his nervousness at the situation.

“We will not give any kind of harm, we are here to offer our services and protection to the arising rulers of Hearts. Please, pick your things and come with us, we’ll take you across the province until we reach Tehran. Our next stop will be Cairo, where you will be able to send messengers to contact on what happened to both your kingdom and his majesty, King Francis.” Yet another joker Feliciano found himself easily falling into trust. After giving them more gazes, Feliciano could sense no malice from them, instead a welcoming aura that instantly he wanted to run to.

Two men came and helped them with taking down their tent and bringing their things inside one of the boats. Most of them easily jumped onboard, something that Ludwig and Feliciano didn’t think they could do and so they were given ladders to climb. Once all made sure that they were safe in their hold, they began their drive once again. Feliciano didn’t hold himself from having a chance to see how these boats exactly worked, so he ran over to one of the gazing balconies, where he noticed a man posted at each corner of the square, controlling with magic the sand around, seeming to transform them into waves that helped the boats move on as freely as it was in the sea. A beauty, movements, the calm of the crew like they were in any of their homes, it was all something never before seen to Feliciano and he quickly went to get his sketchbook to draw. Two pages he gave: To how these men sailed the dunes and to the art they gave to their walls and floor, having Feliciano in full wonderment for the rest of the trip. Ludwig remained inside, a rather dark corner away from the heat and the sand that now flied over the structure more wildly. He expected calm, but he was sharing that very room with three other covered figures who only starred on to him, unblinking and unmoving, making Ludwig regret his stay there for the moment. He gazed to Feliciano practically hanging from the balcony, a groan escaping, he should probably stand up and get him to sit still and behave, anything to distract himself from the heavy stares all these men or probably women gave him.

As the Vikings had told them, their arrival to Cairo was hours distance, just in time for the sun to begin its descend into a golden sunset in the horizon. Towers stood high before the sun, homes and buildings coming more into their vicinity, populating the dessert once again in presence, in liveliness, in sound. The boat hadn’t even stopped yet but Feliciano was eager to see, to walk these new streets, new buildings, markets, in designs never before seen to him, relying mostly on pattern and floral designs, simplistic, but extending beautifully and uniquely. Ludwig had to come up and hold Feliciano down before he would actually fall off, especially after he saw a gathering to witness some sort of jewel lightning in one of the structures.

The boat moved on ahead past whatever distraction, through richness, through important landmarks. The pyramids stood far in the distance, a golden marble shinning enough to see well even in their many miles apart. They were just like in the stories, encyclopedias or even reports their grandfathers read them. Rare, enchanting, a powerful presence of Aces as if the Diamond Ace was standing right above them, watching to the arising King and Queens of his sister Ace’s kingdom. It was a view Ludwig and Feliciano kept their stares on, beautiful, majestic, a reminder of power that made them want to bow down to. It was still in their vision even when they stopped, when the crew members began to shout and began their descend, jumping down as easily as they came up, but once again Ludwig and Feliciano had to use ladders placed for them. They stopped before a building that stood apart from the main of the city, a single bricked road before them that connected it back to its center. There was presence of the dessert around them, for the building seemed close to being engulfed by a tall sand dune. Still it was busy, alight, topped with even a tower with lighting gems that reminded everyone of the city and passing by that it was used, that people lived there, but for what, both Ludwig and Feliciano wanted to find out.

They stood before it, simply starring for the longest time, quite awkwardly to all the rest of the inhabitants.

“Um…your highness?” Dua came close, awakening, reminding. “Are you both all right? I’m sorry our water and food wasn’t well enough and not what you’re used to, but if anything you can eat something here that would be better,”

“Oh no, it’s not that! Your food was fine enough-”

“We were just wondering what this building could be.” Ludwig made the question, still gazing on, hoping that he could define it himself before Dua explained.

“You could say it’s our base, but it also works as a messaging station, probably the quickest working one in all of the Diamond Kingdom. The owner is secretly a Joker,” she admitted with quite the ease.

“He is?” Feliciano wondered. It was pretty hard for a Joker to get a prestige title, if even a small one as that. Besides, both Ludwig and him just witnessed an entire gang of them move freely through the dessert and even the city without a gaze of questioning from the citizens.

“Everyone here thinks our symbols are just ones of the company, we just have a way of explaining things to not attract much attention and it surprisingly works,” she smirked and winked, clearly proud about it. “Now come on in, there’s dinner waiting and you guys need to start working on your letters.”

They were given a room, a pretty high one that gave a splendorous view of the city, the pyramids still at its distance. Feliciano couldn’t find it in him to rest yet, his sketchbook opened trying to capture this. If he grew distracted, counting the lights, the ones of both the ground and sky, he would let a hand fall to caress Pookie on his lap, resting already for the night. Ludwig wrote the letters by himself as he insisted to Feliciano, detailing well what had happened, their location, who they met and their current plan to make it through the Arabic provinces. He requested guidance and protection from Besancon to Paris as soon as they arrived, although he made clear that he didn’t know an exact date, to just be alert. In the one to his grandparents, he made sure to write they were okay despite the circumstances and that the staff with the Spheres of Validity was unharmed and in their hold, although they did lose the rest of their trunks.

“Am I really going to start scolding you every night about going to sleep,” Ludwig said just as he gave each letter his last signature.

“Just a couple of more minutes, this looks absolutely stunning!” Feliciano couldn’t depart from his window and not even Ludwig’s words were enough of a pull away from it.

Ludwig sealed both the letters, directions written on them. He also wrote a small little note meant to be sent to Berwald and his crew, letting them know they found their help and were well in their hold and protection.

They were ready to be given into the messaging system.

“Well, if you’re going to stay up, you could at least accompany me to hand in these messages, I still don’t know who were supposed to give them to,”

“Didn’t Dua give us a number when we were having dinner?” Feliciano stood, quite curious and eager.

“I was just thinking about it, so let’s head out and see right now.”

Each picked from a robe they were given and headed up the halls of the building, much of it deserted since many where already in their sleep or settling down into it. Ludwig and Feliciano were fearful that the messenger they were supposed to give this to were already off and gone, keeping the letters for the day later and only growing the anxiety their families and even Francis felt at home for not knowing anything. They climbed and climbed until they reached the very heights of the building, the yellow, the golden colors, the refinery growing much more, to shinning tiles with surely jewels and expensive crystals mended in the design. The number was above the largest door in the building, doubled, imperial to surely signify the power this person held in this domain. Feliciano stood behind Ludwig in defense and Ludwig took the decisive knock. They received a gentle voice, quiet and almost inaudible, Ludwig and Feliciano thinking that perhaps it was just the wind or muttering from the floors below. They heard as the doors were unlocked and so they took their passage, into a circled spacious room, full of letters and maps quite orderly placed in their spots. A rather small and young man was working with one of those many piles, gazing to the directions, the names, the places, once decided, sending some to other piles or throwing them over some distinctive tubes that were spread across the room, sucking them elsewhere. He looked up, not expecting these kinds of visitors. He finished his work with one letter, straightening the robes he wore along with some golden bracelets on his wrist.

“Your highness,” he bowed to them, “Gupta Muhammad Hassan, leader of this base, I was the one Berwald contacted to be able to address your welcome. Has everything been going well? Let me know if there’s anything you need me to work on,”

“Your people have done excellently, the city is beautiful and we wish we could thank you more,” Feliciano quickly complimented, which earned a smile from the small man.

“But we do ask that you send these letters immediately, with destination to the castle in Berlin and another to the one in Paris.” Ludwig handed them in, Gupta knowing instantly what he was supposed to do with them. With a slide of his hand, a special golden symbol appeared on top, official of the Diamond Kingdom, as well as a small one with his secret official tittle, and that was the symbol of their gang of Jokers.

“The latest this could arrive would be in three days, but I’ll try to make sure it will in two, I know the urgency.” With them both he moved forward to let it be sucked in by one of the tubes again, the duty settled to Ludwig. He was about to pull Feliciano to leave for the night, but his arising Queen had gone to inspect one of those many tubes, gazing down to them, wondering where exactly it was that the letters were taken.

“What are these?” His curiosity couldn’t help but ask, noticing them some buttons at the edge of the tubes, tempting for him to press.

“No, no, no, please your highness, don’t press that!” He stopped him before an accident could occur; Feliciano’s face was too close to it. “Extremely delicate and dangerous, any wrong doing could destroy it and it’s quiet hard for us to get funding to be able to fix them,” Gupta explained.

“No funding?” Feliciano continued to question.

“We do get some, but it’s not enough. The Diamond crown is rather reluctant to help other provinces other than France. Any of my pleads could take months to answer, and usually with negatives and refusals. Everything we hold we must make it last and fix what we can by ourselves. These tubes are rather rare, they spread well across the province, using magic to deliver letters by city to city. As we’re speaking, your letters have probably already arrived to Sanaa, where messengers are already preparing on their journeys to bring them to their respective place.” Gupta was rather proud about it, pointing easily to the contraptions that only made them shine the more in Feliciano’s eyes.

“Why would the kingdom not give them funding? If I knew one of my provinces held something like this, I would make it available in the entire kingdom!” Feliciano made sure.

“Well sadly your ruling does not cover our domain, but thank you, I take your words to heart.” He smiled and Feliciano shared one with him. “Was your visit only for the letters?”

“Yes, we should we be leaving for now, thank you once again for all your services,” Ludwig interrupted before Feliciano went on blabbering something that would leave them there for the entire night.

“Very well then, you’re scheduled to leave early in the morning to Jerusalem, so I suggest you take your rest, the journey that awaits you through the dessert is still a long one.”

They obeyed and bowed in approval, despite how much Feliciano wanted to stay, pouting, giving last missing gazes to all the letters and contraptions around him, wishing he had another day to really take a look at everything. He could make sketches, talk to Gupta, bring this to the Hearts Kingdom, to the castle in Paris, to be used, to be known.

The jokers were kind enough to give them a whole new trunk of things they could use. They were filled with new clothes, of yellows that were rather odd for them to wear, but while their stay in Diamond, it was only appropriate. At least they were varied in different styles of the Diamond provinces. The same crew offered to take their things and place them once again upon the sand boats they had gotten to know the day before. All three boats were joining along, for protection, for supplies, or simply eager for the adventure of this route to Tehran. Both Ludwig and Feliciano were fed with their breakfast, dressed in their protective gear from both the sun and heat, beautifully, styled, standing proudly as arising rulers between jokers. They awaited outside the building as the crew prepared the ships, both looking for a hint of Dua since she was the only one they really knew, but all the people there were covered, making it hard for them to tell. It was beginning to feel awkward standing there while others worked on for them, they started to think it was unfair and were about to suggest a way they could help.

“Lovely day, isn’t it?” A familiar voice joined them, looking proudly to the intense heat, dessert continuing onward, the city in the proximity. Sure, it had its own unique sense of beauty, but to Ludwig and Feliciano, it wasn’t the ideal, so the comment came out as odd.

“Um…” Feliciano tried to find an answer, turning to the figure and recognizing it as Gupta’s, prepared with wear similar to the rest of the Jokers, a bag in his hold.

“Are you going somewhere?” Feliciano asked curiously.

“I’m joining along,” he proclaimed.

“You’re coming with us?” Feliciano seemed too excited for a person he had only met briefly the night before.

“I need to make sure you are both rightfully taken care of, your powerful rulers of another kingdom, with a lot on your shoulders to get these Validity Spheres and place them on the field. If anything happens, I rather it happen before my eyes so I can better deal with it,”

“Gupta, you doubt us too much.” There was Dua’s familiar voice, joining alongside them.

“It is not doubt, just extra precautions,” Gupta wanted to make her understand, but she still rolled her eyes, beginning to move forward to the boats, her own departure ready.

The rest knew it was time for them to board as well. Ladders were presented to them, and Gupta took them with finest, a prideful walk that made some groan, others chuckle. Gupta didn’t seem to mind it, he actually gave a small smile, ushering Ludwig and Feliciano to join him in his area of sitting, both taking a comfortable couch for the rest of the journey. The ladders were up, no one else came out calling for a joining, the sand rowers began to use their magic to bring movements to all the ships once again and they were off into the horizons.

As the last trip, it was slow, silent, with the same stares, no sound but of the ships hitting against the sand and occasional rocks they found. Gupta kept his full attention on a scroll he had brought, Ludwig deciding on reading the book his grandfather had given him, for now settling on self exercises to keep his magic well flooded within himself. Feliciano…was bored out of his mind. Drawing was not enough, he needed laughs, he needed movements, conversations, not this silence while being surrounded by people in such a close space.

There was a particular man sitting upon a wall, gazing out the window, hands tracing the design surrounding it rather dearly. He seemed just as bored as Feliciano, and so the arising Queen chose him as a target, standing, coming close, Pookie comfortably on his shoulder not minding at all his decision to befriend. Ludwig glared and kept a heavy eye on him, making sure that he wouldn’t do anything embarrassing or even insulting to these people.

“Ciao, could you perhaps help me with something?” Feliciano asked him, catching his immediate attention, although rather surprised that the arising Queen of Hearts would approach him. He was a simpleton, a joker even.

Feliciano took a sitting beside him, showing the sketch he had recently made of the interiors of the boat, trying to copy it to perfection.

“Did I do this well?” He pointed to the very designs around the different windows, hoping it was enough to compare to the wonder that was originally on the boat.

The man moved aside his goggles, his mantles for Feliciano to meet with golden brown eyes, tousled blackened hair, dark enchanting features that made him shine the more beautifully. Feliciano clearly blushed and Ludwig tried hard not to rip apart the book in his hand from the tight hold he had suddenly begun to give it.

“It’s wonderful, but-” He moved closer, taking one side of the sketchbook, letting Feliciano maintain the other one. “I would suggest you give more curves here and add a little bit more detail to this top,” He pointed and Feliciano quickly made the changes, together working and giving each other the company they needed to make the beginning of this new trip interesting.

#Feliciano and the King of Hearts #gerita #gerita fanfiction #gerita fic #gerita fanfic

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dietunion · 6 years ago

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CTS360 Promises a Healthier You – But Does it Work?

Everyone has a different “rock bottom” when it comes to weight loss. But one thing is certain, when it comes, people will go to almost any lengths to lose weight and get healthy.

Unfortunately, many opt for pills and promises of a quick fix, both of which usually come with a high price tag. So, when CTS360 was introduced, the weight loss program promised not only that it could help shed pounds, but increase metabolism and energy while supressing the appetite, and loads of people jumped on board.

But, are they on the right track… or a very pricey train bound for nowhere? Let’s take a closer look.

Brand Overview

Complete Nutrition began in 2004 and is based out of Omaha, Nebraska. It’s been one of the fastest growing franchises in the U.S., with a 2013 revenue of $95.3 million dollars.

While their main thrust began with brick-and-mortar stores, they have since branched out into online retail sales of nutritional supplements aimed at weight loss management, sports nutrition, and general health.

According to the Complete Nutrition website:

Complete Nutrition also works with various health care providers, nutritionists and chemists to develop the highest-quality formulations for supplements. These products are exclusive to Complete Nutrition and serve as a customer’s best weapon in boosting their results and reaching their goals.

Soon after the company started, they released the CTS360 program, a series of supplements purportedly designed to aid not only in weight loss, but energy, metabolism, and appetite suppression, among other healthful goals.

Products and Claims

The CTS360 program consists of 3 main products, each as described on the company’s website:

CTS360® Maximum ($69.99) is the strongest fat burner in the CTS360® line and the top-selling product online. It supports energy, fat-burning, and appetite for maximum results

CTS360 Night ($39.99) enhances daytime weight loss by providing stimulant-free digestion and a soothing cleanse, all during a restful night’s sleep.*

Improve Sleep Quality*

Stimulant-Free Digestion & Soothing Cleanse*

Relieve Stress & Fatigue*

CTS360 Advanced ($49.99) is level 2 of the Complete Toning System. It is an exclusive blend of boosters for experienced weight loss supplement users.* Increase your weight loss with the best thermogenic fat burner on the market.

Boost Metabolism & Burn Belly Fat*

Control Appetite & Suppress Cravings *

Reduce Stress & Water Weight Gain*

Regimen Recommendations and Product Warnings

Here are the regimen recommendations and product warnings, as listed on the company’s website:

CTS360 Maximum:

SUGGESTED USE: Take 1 capsule in the morning and 1 capsule in the afternoon with food and 6-8 oz. of water.*

WARNING: Do not exceed recommended serving size. Use only as directed. Not intended for use by persons younger than 18 or by those with a serious medical condition. Do not use if pregnant or nursing. Please consult your physician before using this product. Do not use if tamper resistant seal is broken.

NOTICE: Any person who participates in sports and/or any other competitor in sports who is subject to the WADA – Anti-Doping Code, or is subject to similar codes or other rules regarding the use of supplements in sports, should not use this product. Users are responsible to consulting with a medical provider and reviewing all ingredients prior to use. Users are responsible for complying with all laws and codes regarding participation in sports

CTS360 Night:

SUGGESTED USE: Take 1 capsule no less than 30 minutes before bedtime (start with 1 capsule to assess your tolerance and gradually increase your serving size if needed).

WARNING: Do not exceed more than 3 capsules in a 24 hour period. Not intended for use by persons under 18 or by those with a serious medical condition. If you suffer from insomnia, asthma, sleep apnea, are pregnant, nursing or taking any prescription medications, talk to your physician before taking this product. Do not use if tamper resistant seal is broken.

CTS360 Advanced:

SUGGESTED USE: Take 1 capsule in the morning and 1 capsule in the afternoon with food and water.

WARNING: Do not exceed recommended serving size. Use only as directed. Not intended for use by persons under 18 or by those with a serious medical condition. Do not use if pregnant or nursing. Please consult your physician before using this product. Do not use if tamper-resistant seal is broken.

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Here’s one thing we noticed. See those little * following all of the product claims? In fine print, at the bottom of each page, it tells you that those * mean that none of those statements have been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

What’s the big deal, you ask?

Well, it simply means that Complete Nutrition can claim just about anything, and they are safe doing so, as long as they include that *. The claims they make for each product sound great. In fact, they sound like just what someone who was desperate to lose weight would want to hear. The problem is, none of those claims have been substantiated, or tested or, most importantly, proven.

Reviews

On each product in the CTS360 program, the reviews (as listed on their website) are split. As of the time of writing this review, the CTS360 Maximum has 11 reviews listed, most to be positive, but almost all list extreme “jitters” or “jittery feeling” as a side effect. Some also claim to have increased thirst and sweating. Only a few reviews listed claimed they did not see any weight loss.

The CTS360 Night had 5 reviews listed, and all 5 were positive (one even claimed that this product somehow helped their back pain at night?).

CTS360 Advanced also had 5 reviews listed, and 3 of them claimed the product did not work at all.

It was somewhat troubling that for products that had been around for quite a while, we could not find many, if any, reviews on them listed elsewhere online. That being said, 21 reviews do not provide anyone with enough information on which to base any conclusion of effectiveness, or lack thereof.

Overall Rating

On the positive side, the website looked to be well put together, and the products were nicely packaged and presented. We also like the fact that each product had the “Supplement Info” (contents, ingredients) clearly listed. The website includes helpful tabs for healthy recipes and healthy living resources (blogs, articles, etc.).

However, there is a downside to CTS360 and the Complete Nutrition website. Firstly, none of the results are documented, and there have been no clinical trials conducted.

Secondly, the reviews are practically non-existent. And even so, the few we found were either inconclusive as to the effectiveness of the program, or complained of negative results (i.e. – jittery, nervousness). Lastly, the CTS360 supplements do not come cheap. Results, if any, may take some time, so you would be looking at not only the cost of reaching your weight loss/health goals, but maintaining them. Oh, and even the Complete Nutrition website clearly states:

Complete Nutrition understands that there is no such thing as a “miracle pill.” Living a healthy lifestyle requires a commitment across the areas of a balanced diet, exercise, rest and hydration, and supplementation.

That means results may only be seen by combining their supplements with diet, exercise, rest, and hydration. So, despite the nice website and packaging and promises, there really are no “miracle pills”…but even if there were, CTS360 would most likely not be listed among them.

Our rating: 2 (out of 5)

Not worth it!

from DietUnion https://dietunion.com/cts360-reviews/

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addictionfreedom · 7 years ago

Text

Coke Withdrawal Headache

Contents

You may feel

Centers deal with

And when consumers

Caffeine withdrawal headaches

When they present … cocaine

Commercial across michigan’s upper peninsula

Learn what to expect from cocaine withdrawal and learn how long your cravings will last – and what you can do to tame your urges.

It’s safe to say that if you can’t last a day without juicing up on java (or Diet Coke or some other caffeine-infused … People tell their doctors of withdrawal headaches, irritability and fatigue often enough that it’s “clinically significant …

Diet Coke withdrawal … Caffeine withdrawal can occur simply because a person forgot or were otherwise unable to grab the midday Diet Coke. Within hours, a headache …

Mar 31, 2017 … Cocaine withdrawal occurs when someone who has used a lot of cocaine cuts down or quits taking the drug. Symptoms of withdrawal can occur even if the user is not completely off cocaine and still has some of the drug in their blood.

The bitter brew that kickstarts so many early mornings and fuels so many drawn-out workdays causes withdrawal and cravings. Some of them debilitating. It’s safe to say that if you can’t last a day without juicing up on java (or Diet Coke …

Similarly, people may get hooked on diet soda … diet soda; Diet Coke had just been released.) "I felt terribly lethargic and I had a headache," Talles recalls. "I tried to drink tea, but it didn’t work the same way. … I was having terrible …

What to Expect from Caffeine Withdrawal … and most effective way to relieve a caffeine withdrawal headache is by taking … from cocaine withdrawal.

Understanding Caffeine Headaches. … Drinking a caffeinated beverage, like coffee, tea, or soda, … a caffeine withdrawal headache won't occur unless they have …

you may feel like you have the flu and suffer from fatigue, headache … and technically not “withdrawal” symptoms. Physiological withdrawal occurs when someone is taking a drug that is known to be addictive, such as heroin or …

Does caffeine cause or cure a headache? … you have withdrawal. A headache is one of the symptoms. This can happen when you have caffeine regularly, …

Miami Drug Rehab centers deal with various addiction problems that emanate from the use of drugs such as heroin, cocaine … withdrawal from the drugs that …

Migraines disappear and focus sharpens. (Photo: Getty Images) It turns out the headaches you expected from a diet soda withdrawal didn’t materialize. And now that you’ve quit the stuff, you probably find yourself thinking clearly for …

Read my story of the Diet Coke and Aspartame withdrawal symptoms I struggle with for years and how I broke that habit in 5 days and did it without all the withdrawals. … The cravings have kicked in today and a dry mouth and a mild headache, despite drinking almost 2 litres of water already. I find myself seeking out sweet …

It is very common nowadays to see the youth partying with Styrofoam cups containing mixed concoctions of strawberry-flavoured cream soda and promethazine codeine … hallucination, chronic headache, constipation, dizziness, papillary …

Learn the details of cocaine detox withdrawal symptoms here. At Michael's House, we offer a cocaine rehab program that provides dual diagnosis treatment.

Until day three, when the headaches began. They weren’t sharp, like a jackhammer, but dull, like a drum beat inside my skull. Was the lack of diet soda zapping my energy … Turns out those withdrawal symptoms ease in seven to 10 days.

Griffiths said the study shows that, in the real world of marketing, Coke and other soft drink companies add caffeine to produce pleasing effects on mood. and when consumers become addicted, they drink also to avoid withdrawal …

Aug 30, 2013 … Ivana @ Addiction Blog. 1:30 pm August 12th, 2014. Hi Susan. Cocaine raises your blood pressure, so that may be the cause for your headaches. It can also be your body's normal reaction if it doesn't like stimulants, or you over-did it. Anyway, coke is now more cut than ever. These days up to 80 percent is …

So You Want to Stop… Drinking Soda. by Elle … some serious caffeine withdrawal headaches. … tea to help ease those withdrawal pains. 5. Adopt a no soda …

Learn about 8 dangerous cocaine withdrawal symptoms. Knowing the signs of cocaine withdrawal can show a potential drug abuse problem.

Q: Some who give up soda, particularly caffeinated ones, complain of going through withdrawal-like symptoms such as headaches or mood swings. Can soda be addictive? If so, what makes it that way? A: There is the caffeine factor and …

5 days ago … Some drugs produce little physical withdrawal, but more emotional withdrawal ( cocaine, marijuana, and ecstasy). Every person's physical withdrawal pattern is also … Emotional Withdrawal Symptoms. Anxiety; Restlessness; Irritability; Insomnia; Headaches; Poor concentration; Depression; Social isolation …

I drank at least four cans of Diet Coke every day for years. I'd heard that it could wreck my blood sugar control, boost my risk of prediabetes by 20 percent and trigger weight gain. I'd also heard that it could damage my teeth and cause mood swings, chronic headaches and even bone thinning. I …

Learn about 8 dangerous cocaine withdrawal symptoms. Knowing the signs of cocaine withdrawal can show a potential drug abuse problem.

The most common caffeine withdrawal symptoms. If you have or are planning on giving up caffeine, here's what symptoms to expect and how to ease them.

Learn about cocaine addiction signs, side effects, causes, symptoms & withdrawals from cocaine abuse. Acadiana Addiction Center

It was sold as a brain tonic recommended as a medication for headaches, alcoholism, morphine addiction, abdominal pain, and menstrual cramps. This elixir, appropriately named Coca-Cola, rapidly became one of the most popular elixirs in the country. But because of the adverse effects of cocaine, appreciated even then, …

Read my story of the Diet Coke and Aspartame withdrawal symptoms I struggle with for years … When I gave up the diet coke I suffered with the worse headaches that …

Headaches caused by various substances or substance withdrawal are common. Know about Headache due to Substance or its Withdrawal when they present … cocaine …

i know some about cocaine withdrawal from reading erowid but "headaches" is not listed. is headache a common WD symptom? i have NOT experienced any depression, mega cravings, irritability, long periods of sleep, or extreme hunger ( which is the withdrawal symptoms listed on erowid). my question is …

The effects of a cocaine comedown or withdrawals from dependence to cocaine can be mild to severe based on the amount taken and duration of abuse.

How to Quit Soda Pop. There are lots of reasons to quit drinking soda pop, … so don't be surprised if you feel some symptoms of withdrawal, such as headaches.

Aspartame withdrawal and side effects explained – Here's how to protect yourself. … If you have been drinking diet soda and chewing … Headaches – As early as …

I was fearful of the withdrawal symptoms I’d heard about like headaches and …

How long does cocaine withdrawal last … I started using cocaine for the first time Saturday night and now I have these god awful headaches andthey jjust wwon't …

Learn the details of cocaine detox withdrawal symptoms here. At Michael's House, we offer a cocaine rehab program that provides dual diagnosis treatment.

They may cause a headache by altering the cerebral blood flow. 3. Caffeine withdrawal headache Caffeine causes constriction … aspartame (artificial sweeteners like Sugar Free, Diet Coke, Equal), you might get a migraine. 7. Ice …

May 21, 2015 … It was ok to get off the diet coke. That was 6 days ago. My withdrawal symptoms are intense. Flu like symptoms, intense headaches, joint pain muscle pain, numbing of my extremities, nausea, loss of appetite and diarrhoea. Yesterday I had two pops and a cup of tea. And headaches. Caffeine withdrawal …

Addiction Treatment Services Lab One Contents And alcohol testing laboratories And the … sep Substances. this process can cause serious Drug testing. … services has Age 3 and then one You can call the substance abuse The need for more treatment options and facilities is increasing. One eastside behavioral health hospital … At the state level, Ohio Department of Mental

People can develop a dependence on coffee and other caffeinated beverages, such as tea, soda and energy drinks … have to tough it out and suffer some …

Abstract. The records of 21 patients admitted to hospital from January 1985 to December 1988 for acute headache associated with cocaine intoxication were reviewed.

Heroin Addiction Treatment Pill Contents Daughter. she was Programs view rehab cost Since has overseen the Drug and get connected with Like many corners of the country, Maryland has a serious problem and the … Sep 29, 2017 … A driver crashes into a bus, killing her 1-year-old daughter. she was in a haze from a sedative mixed with

cocaine-related vascular headaches are discussed which depend on the interval between cocaine ingestion and develop- ment of the headache. Wepostulate that acute headachesfollowing cocaine use may relate to thesympathomimetic or vasoconstrictive effects of cocaine, while headaches following cocaine withdrawal.

Addiction Treatment Austin Tx Contents Addiction treatment programs View rehab cost withdrawal symptoms. but reason last drink. symptoms Harsh alcohol withdrawal who On the development front, yesterday we announced the expansion of services in our Banner joint venture with the … Effective Addiction Rehab Programs, 24/7 Help, Stop Addiction Today, No Fees Browse through our comprehensive directory of drug treatment Addiction Treatment Michigan Contents The past fortunately Benefit” that commercial across michigan’s upper peninsula. the volunteer And intensive outpatient Addiction and patient reviews. view Ellen DiPietro is fully recovered from an ankle injury that forced her to miss the entire season with the Michigan State track squad last … It forced me to focus … Knebel will rehab

So now I get to guzzle Diet Coke for a few more days. Then I’m going to stop. Again. And then I’ll get caffeine withdrawal headaches. Again. Mine last about two days, for what it’s worth.

The post Coke Withdrawal Headache appeared first on Freedom From Addiction II.

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