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johanna-517 · 2 months ago

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"Special and unique"

(CHAPTER 7)

A few months passed, your life in the mansion remained as empty as ever.

You still had no interaction with Bruce, you never spoke with him, and of course, it was the same with your brothers; they never sought you out, and you never sought them out.

You always used to see them all together from afar, talking, smiling, and laughing like a happy family. And you weren't part of that happy family, of course.

Every time they saw you, everyone would instantly look away. One thing that remained unchanged during these months was undoubtedly everyone's indifference toward you.

None of them ever apologized for what they did to you in the past, none of them cared about you, probably none of them were aware of you yet, probably even they already forgot what they did to you, the way they treated you, the pain they caused you... They forgot and left it behind, as if it didn't matter, as if it had never happened.

But you... You still haven't forgotten. You'll never forget what they did to you, ever. You refuse to forget the suffering each and every one of them caused you.

Even if you act indifferent to them now, it doesn't mean you don't hate them, because you really do.

You stayed in your room most of the time, locked between those four walls as if they were your safe place. They weren't, of course they weren't, since you definitely still hated this room. But you had no choice; it was best to stay here alone with Toti. This was better than walking around the mansion and running into one of your siblings outside. Because, you had to learn this the hard way, but you finally understood... No matter what, any interaction with them would go horribly wrong, and everything would be ruined even more instead of improved.

However, unfortunately for you... you finally had to start attending school. Because when you arrived, you still didn't speak English very well and were still depressed about your mother, Alfred allowed you to stay at the mansion for a few months without attending school, only until you were ready.

You still remember the day Alfred walked into your room, leaving your school's fancy new uniform for you on your bed. You asked him what it was and tried not to grimace when he told you you'd now be attending a school in Gotham.

You definitely didn't want to, you didn't feel like going, studying at a huge school, and being surrounded by rich and privileged kids almost wanted to make you scream in frustration.

But you also knew you couldn't refuse, education is necessary, and no matter how much you want to, you can't avoid going to school forever.

Your first day... It was an unpleasant day for you, to tell the truth. Alfred led you to the school gates, smiling at you, seeming happy to be taking you to your first day of classes in Gotham. While you... You were almost dizzy seeing such a huge school, with students of similar ages to yours everywhere.

You found it awkward to be in a large classroom filled with so many students, you sat alone at the back, not wanting to draw anyone's attention on your first day. However, as soon as the teacher introduced you as (y/n) Wayne, all the glances you were trying to avoid instantly turned to you.

The students whispered among themselves, wondering if you really were Bruce Wayne's daughter.

The simple fact of having that last name made several of your classmates want to get close to you, pretending to be kind and wanting to be your friend simply because of your last name.

But you knew, you saw through their fake kindness instantly, so you just looked away and ignored them.

This... It was definitely very different from your old school. When you went to school in Mexico, it was better. You enjoyed attending that small but colorful school. You got along with all your classmates. The teachers adored you. You always found it easy to get very good grades. You never felt bad there. Everything was peaceful and happy in that small school. You loved going there. Every day there was as amazing as the last.

But now... You're no longer in Mexico, you're no longer at that small, colorful school you loved so much, now you're in Gotham, at a new school that you definitely don't like. But there's nothing you can do about it... You just have to get used to this and accept it, even if you don't want to.

Your first few weeks at Gotham High School were boring and unpleasant. You were always distracted, never paying attention in class, which is why your teachers scolded you regularly. You always stood apart from the rest of the students, with no interest in making friends.

It's okay, you're not surprised that you don't get along with them. Even more so because you know they don't actually like you, because of your eye color. You definitely noticed the way they stared at your eyes, the way they murmured to each other about your strange, weird eye color whenever they saw you. You even noticed the grimaces of disgust some of the teachers made when you stared at them, as if they didn't like seeing your strange eyes fixed on them.

But, the real nightmare at school soon began... And his name was Noah.

He was a student just a year older than you, quite conceited and self-centered, the son of the owner of one of Gotham's largest hospitals, and... He started getting too close to you, harassing and teasing you as much as he could. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't make mocking comments about your eye color, your poor grades, and basically criticize absolutely everything about you.

You tried to ignore him, but he wouldn't let you, going to extremes that were impossible for you to ignore.

Remember when, one day at dismissal time, you had to stay in your classroom alone for a while longer because you were the only one who didn't finish the activity the teacher assigned today. As punishment, your teacher decided to leave you there until you finished.

However... You noticed Noah enter the room with his friends, and they closed the door. At that moment... Noah took advantage, this time starting to physically attack you. First, he pushed you, and when you fell to the floor, he started kicking you hard while his friends just laughed.

That time you returned to the mansion covered in bruises, Alfred asked you what happened, but you were in so much pain that you simply decided not to say anything and go to your room.

Another time, Noah threw a bucket of dirty water on you, claiming it was an accident. The teachers let it go and ignored the situation.

Plus, Noah used to pull your hair hard whenever no one was looking. He also used to hide your notebooks and homework, just so the teachers would scold you for it.

He once caught you with his friends, and without hesitation, they started using their pens and markers to scratch your face and clothes. You still remember how difficult it was to get the ink out of your face that time.

Another time, Noah even tried to put gum in your hair, and by sheer luck, you managed to avoid it. Not knowing that that wasn't actually the worst thing Noah could do.

The next day at school... Without saying anything, Noah pulled you by the arm and dragged you toward a small storage room in one of the hallways, where no one would be able to see you. You tried to resist, but you couldn't stop him from pulling you into the storage room.

He hit you, leaving countless bruises on your skin again, he also cut your arms a little using scissors, leaving thin lines of blood on your skin.

When he finished he just walked away, leaving you there alone.

You were shaking, tears streaming down your cheeks, your eyes wide open in complete shock as you took in all the marks on your skin. This time, he hit you harder, so the bruises were going to last longer than last time.

You stand there for a while, staring into space as you try to ignore the intense pain that runs through your body.

"It hurts... It hurts so much," you mumbled softly, trying to stop your hands from shaking. It's not fair, you have to suffer and go through this when you haven't done anything wrong.

Your mom used to say that... You always had to behave and be kind to others, that if you were good, no one would have a reason to hurt you. But that was a lie... Because, even though you never did anything wrong, all you get no matter what is contempt.

Everything in Gotham is suffering for you. Whether you're at the mansion or at school, it seems like you can never stop suffering.

'Why me?' you asked yourself, wondering what you did to deserve being hurt by everyone.

Shaking slightly, you got up as best you could, trying to avoid thinking about the burning and pain caused by all those wounds on your skin.

You were wearing a long-sleeved sweater to hide your injuries as you walked out of school, and Alfred picked you up. He asked how your day went. You gave a short answer, and that was it, without giving any further details or telling Alfred what happened.

When you arrived at the mansion, you quickly headed to your room and stayed locked there for the rest of the day.

You were wondering what you should do... You wanted to deny it, but deep down, you knew you were afraid Noah would keep hurting you. He didn't just insult you; his harassment went so far as to even physically hurt you, and that was too much.

You were scared... Scared of him, scared that Noah's bullying would get much worse later, you couldn't take it anymore.

You think and think... Should you tell Alfred so he can find a way to help you? Maybe. But... You heard that Noah's father was close friends with the school principal, so it won't be easy to get the principal to listen to your situation and expel Noah.

Then, at that moment, an idea crosses your mind... What if you tell Bruce? If you find him and tell him what's going on, he might go personally to speak to the director. Then, the director wouldn't be able to directly ignore the prestigious Bruce Wayne, and he'd finally do something about the harassment you've received from Noah.

You know Bruce is your best option, yet... You hesitate for a moment, you literally haven't spoken to him in months, you just saw him from afar every now and then, but you never tried to find him or get close to him again, and of course, he never approached you either.

You promised yourself you'd never go after him again, that you'd never ask him for anything at all, but this is a big deal. So, even if you don't really want to do it... You have to if you really want Noah's bullying to finally stop.

So, that day you waited until it was dinner time, since Alfred told you Bruce would arrive around that time and be here for dinner with the others. Even Jason and Dick would be here for dinner.

It was one of those rare occasions when everyone gathered for dinner at Wayne Manor.

In fact, you never participated in these 'family moments,' you never wanted to, even though Alfred told you to join in and attend. However, you will participate in this dinner, simply to talk about it with Bruce.

If you bring it up during family dinner, Bruce won't be able to ignore you, right? It's simple: just go to family dinner, bring up the subject, and ask Bruce to do something about it. Everything will be fine, right?

That's what you try to tell yourself, trying to calm down a little while you comb your own hair, just a few minutes until you get down to the dining room.

"I can do this, I can do this," you repeat to yourself with determination. When you're finally finished getting ready, you walk over and give your beloved Toti a small kiss before placing him on the bed and finally walking toward the door, leaving the room.

You were wearing a long-sleeved black blouse, of course, to hide the recent injuries Noah inflicted on you. You haven't even told Alfred about them until now.

You walk slowly, trying to ignore the growing feeling of nerves and anxiety in your chest.

Finally, you reach the dining room. And you see them all there together. You almost flinch when they all turn to stare at you, not expecting your presence, since you didn't usually attend family dinners. Or maybe they were just surprised to see you here right now because they forgot you existed, right?

You sigh softly as you approach the large table. Alfred smiles at your arrival and guides you to your place at the table. Unfortunately for you, Tim was sitting on your right and Stephanie was sitting on your left.

You didn't like it... You didn't like being here, near them. But you have to endure the unpleasant feeling of discomfort, just for now, just because this time it's about something important and this is your only option.

You stare at the plate of food in front of you. Alfred's meal looked as amazing as ever, but for some reason, no one felt like eating right now, not even you. Maybe it's because of the tense atmosphere at this so-called 'family dinner.'

Okay, never mind. You didn't really come to spend quality time with your so-called family, and you didn't come to eat either. Your goal was simple: talk to Bruce and ask him to come to your school to speak with your principal so your classmate would stop bothering you.

"Father..." you began, definitely feeling like fainting just from having to call Bruce that, but you'll have to bear with it just this once. "I... Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. The thing is... I'm having some trouble un the school, and I was hoping-"

At that moment, you were interrupted by Stephanie's laughter, when you turned to see her she simply looked away, trying to hide her laughter.

Just then, Jason spoke up. "Oh, the weird little girl is having trouble at school... What's wrong? Is it because no one wants to be your friend?" he asked, a smirk on his lips.

"If you have a problem with that or your grades, it has nothing to do with Bruce. Do you expect him to fix your bad grades or the fact that no one wants to be your friend?" Tim spoke up, frowning slightly as he looked at you. How dare you try to ask Bruce to fix your trivial school problems?

You remain silent for a moment, looking down. They... They didn't even let you finish speaking. They don't know what you're going through at school, they don't know the countless bruises and wounds you have thanks to one of your classmates.

"I-it's not because of that... I just wanted to-" before you could continue speaking, you are interrupted, this time it's Bruce who intervenes.

"If you have any problems with school you can tell Alfred, I'm busy and I don't think I can go to your school" he stated with a serious expression, without even looking at you.

The damned indifference in his voice was evident to you... Did he really not have time for you? Couldn't he care even a little about you, at least this once? You're his daughter. But... No one here seems to hear you. No one knows the seriousness of what you're going through, no one can understand you. No one even tries to understand you.

You grit your teeth, clearly annoyed. You've literally been beaten and bullied at school, and you... You don't even have a father who can defend you? Okay, that's to be expected. Bruce hasn't saved you even once so far. Why did you think this time would be different?

You wanted to scream, you wanted to argue and tell Bruce you wanted his help because it was a serious situation. But then... The cold indifference in the air reminds you it's not worth it.

"Okay, I understand. I think I lost my appetite, I'm going to quit now," you said, getting up from your spot and starting to leave.

It doesn't make sense, right? No matter what, they still don't care about you one bit.

You reached your room, took slow steps, and approached one of the pieces of furniture, taking out a small photograph of your mother. You sat on the bed, holding the photo of your mother against your chest.

"Mom... Someone's been bullying me at school. He hits me, he makes fun of me, and he harasses me every day... I don't like it, I can't stand it anymore. So, I tried to ask my dad for help, but he... He doesn't have time." You stated softly, looking up at the ceiling of your room.

"And... my brothers didn't listen to me either. Tim said I shouldn't bother my dad with that stuff, Stephanie made fun of me, and Jason called me weird again." You let out a small sigh, ignoring the familiar way your eyes watered with tears.

"But Mom... I really can't take it anymore. I can't, I don't want to put up with this anymore. But not even Dad listens to me." You sobbed, tears of despair rolling down your cheeks.

"Si papá no me escucha... Tú si lo harás, ¿verdad madre? Te lo suplico mamá... Por favor, aleja a Noah de mí, para que ya no me haga más daño, por favor" You pleaded, holding the small photo of your mother tightly. Surely she'll listen, won't she? Your mother loves you; she can always protect you, even now.

That night you cried yourself to sleep, holding Toti along with the image of your mother next to you.

And then... When you had to go back to school, you were completely nervous, wondering how Noah was going to bother you today. But... You heard other students talking, and then you found out... You found out he and his family had recently moved to another country. You almost wanted to cry with joy when you heard it.

Noah's no longer here, your main concern is gone. You don't need to fear him now, he's gone and no longer around to hurt you. Not anymore.

Your mother did listen to you, didn't she? Of course she would. She loves you, she'll always love you.

You almost laugh when you remember trying to ask Bruce for help. When in reality, you never needed it; you just needed to turn to your real family: your mom. She listened, and you know it. Even if Mom isn't here, she still listens to you somehow, right?

Of course you did, you knew it, Mom would never abandon you, she would never be indifferent to you like Bruce.

From that day on, you felt calmer and happier. You didn't care at all about the mocking comments from your classmates or the constant scolding you received almost daily from the teachers. The only thing that mattered was that you no longer had to worry about Noah, because he wasn't here. He was gone, and now you're fine.

While at the mansion, Alfred asked you what had you in such a good mood, you simply smiled and replied, "It's because Mom helped me. I'm happy about that."

Alfred felt a little confused by what you said, but he didn't question anything else, instead he was just glad to see you so cheerful.

Now, more than a year has passed. It really surprises you a little how time has flown; you were already ten years old.

What's changed since then? Well, probably not much.

You were still not close to Bruce; he never even had time to say a word to you. And let's not even talk about your siblings; you still had a bad relationship with each of them.

Luckily, you hadn't had any major problems with any of them yet, because during this period you had made an effort to avoid them all in the first place. Avoiding each one of them meant avoiding problems with them. So it was perfect.

And it really worked for you, too. They were so caught up in their own personal lives and their vigilante identities that they never sought you out. You went completely unnoticed by them during this time.

You also had a few hobbies that helped you pass the time when you were bored in your room. You loved to draw, and your drawing technique improved over the months. You regularly drew certain types of flowers, landscapes, animals, and sometimes you even tried drawing portraits of your mother.

Another thing you did was crafts. You found making paper flowers very fun and relaxing; you loved experimenting with different materials and creating different things. So, your room, which you'd previously considered empty and depressing, slowly became warmer to you.

On your walls hung some of the colorful drawings you'd made yourself. All the crafts you'd made up until then also adorned your room.

Now, you felt more comfortable here, and you were always happy to add another new decoration related to yourself to your room.

And of course, you still kept in touch with your aunt and cousins. You used to call them twice a week. It really kept you calm and happy whenever you spoke to them, because it meant they still cared about you. That you were still important to them.

You loved when Erick told you he missed watching movies with you.

You smiled with joy when Abel told you that he missed playing with you in the yard.

And most of all, your heart felt warm when your aunt told you how much she missed you and that she hoped to see you again soon. She told you to take care of yourself and to tell her if you had any problems.

Although, you never told her, you couldn't tell your aunt that you were practically completely ignored by this family, even by your father.

You didn't want to tell her how much you suffered at first because of your father and brothers' attitude. Because you didn't want to worry her.

Anyway, you know she must have her own problems, you didn't want to burden her with yours.

Besides, right now your life at Wayne Manor was relatively peaceful, so everything was fine for now.

Oh at least it was until today.

You were definitely quite surprised as soon as you heard it. Alfred told you that a new member of the family would be joining today: Damian Wayne. He was also Bruce's biological son, your new brother, and he was about the same age as you.

You shuddered slightly, unsure what to make of it. You didn't know whether the news should excite you or worry you.

Well, when you were little, you always used to tell your mom you wanted a brother. You wanted a blood brother, one you could be close to, one you could spend a lot of time with. At the time, you were never going to have one, and you truly believed you'd never have a blood brother, but fate has shown you that you will finally have the blood brother you dreamed of when you were little.

But... Something makes you doubt. Because, even if Damian is your blood brother, that doesn't guarantee that he won't really ignore you like the others, right?

You didn't know what to expect, but you knew that no matter what, you had to accept it because, like it or not, he'd start living here too. And he's part of the family, too.

Finally... You met him. You stared at him for a moment, noticing the pretty green in his eyes. You'd say he was pretty, but Damian ruined your thoughts as soon as he started insulting you.

He started complaining about how weak you looked, the strange color of your eyes, and basically everything about you. You were almost shocked to see that he seemed to literally ooze hatred even though he was your age.

And... Damian didn't just lunge at you because Alfred was there to stop him.

You didn't even stay long, you just decided to go back to your room, not wanting to hear any more of your new brother's insults.

You downplayed it, as it wasn't surprising to you that you weren't getting along with your brother. And you assumed everything would be fine as long as you avoided Damian as much as possible, to avoid unwanted encounters. That way, you wouldn't have any problems with him.

But how wrong you were...

Even if you wanted to, you just couldn't avoid him completely, not when you literally started going to school with him. You're both close in age, so of course when he started your school, he was also in your grade, and you even had several classes together.

It was so awkward having to ride with him in the same car as Alfred drove them to school, it was annoying having to deal with his constant comments about how inferior you are, listing each of your flaws as if he actually knew you that well in the first place.

You tried to ignore him, you really did. You tried to ignore his insults about your eye color, ignore his blatant contempt for you, ignore the way he tried to lunge at you like a wild animal. You tried to ignore the way he treated you with contempt even at school, while the other students watched and laughed at you, amused by how pathetic you were to be publicly humiliated by your own brother.

You were irritated, and you definitely wanted to yell at him, insult him back, and hit him too. But you couldn't do it. Especially considering Damian was a genius with swords, a prodigy expert in attacking and fighting. You knew that if you tried, he'd defeat you in seconds. So you quickly pushed the idea aside, not wanting to take any chances.

Okay, you can tolerate it, you can still try to tolerate it a little longer, right?

A few months after Damian's arrival, there was another family dinner. You didn't want to attend, remembering the tense atmosphere of the last family dinner you attended, but this time, Alfred managed to convince you.

You don't know how he convinced you. Maybe it was because he seems to genuinely want you to get along with others and spend time with them, too. Because they're supposed to be your family, after all.

You can't tell Alfred how much you hated them, not when he's been so good at looking after you all this time. So, you agreed to attend, only because he asked you to.

You finished getting ready, putting on a short-sleeved blue dress. You look in the mirror, studying your arms for a moment.

You don't even have a single scar left from the wounds Noah inflicted on you before. You truly swore some would leave at least a small, lasting scar, but it seems you were wrong.

It's a little strange how perfect your skin is, how your body managed to make all the wounds you've had disappear without leaving even a small mark.

You shake your head slightly. You don't need to worry about that now, it's not the time. Rather, right now is the time to think about how to survive this family dinner.

"Esperame aquí, Toti... Volveré pronto". You say goodbye to your precious teddy bear, giving it a little kiss before placing it on the bed and finally leaving the room.

As soon as you get to the dining room, you see everyone already there. You notice Jason bothering Damian a bit, Bruce talking to Dick, Tim talking to Stephanie, and Cassandra looking calm in her seat.

Wow, they really do look like a real family together... without you.

You walk over to the table, and as soon as everyone sees you, they fall silent, staring at you.

Gosh... You just remembered how much you hate it when everyone looks at you at the same time. It's so awkward and annoying.

You maintain a calm expression as you choose to sit in the chair furthest away from the others. You're definitely mentally grateful that the dining room is extraordinarily large and you can get a spot away from the others.

After all, this time your only condition for coming to dinner was that you could sit wherever you wanted, and Alfred agreed.

You still remember how awkward it was last time you had to sit next to Tim and Stephanie. So, this time you're not going to take any chances; you'll keep the necessary distance.

You remain silent, looking anywhere but at anyone at the table.

Your plan to survive this dinner was as follows: remain unnoticed, don't speak, don't look at anyone, and leave as soon as you finished eating. Simple, right?

But your plans are ruined as soon as Damian gets up from his place, going to sit right next to you.

When you look at him, you notice the mischievous smile on his face. He's doing it on purpose, isn't he?

And then, he opens his mouth... Starting to try to annoy you again.

"Why do you sit so far away from the others? It's because you're a weirdo who likes to be away, right? Well, it's understandable to want to stay away from others by having eyes strangers like yours..." Damian stated in a dismissive tone, speaking confidently as if he were right.

You stay silent, not even looking at him, trying to ignore him. This obviously angers Damian greatly, not liking the fact that you ignore him as if he weren't even there.

"Even if I'm nice enough to come here and talk to you, you just ignore me. That's very rude. Didn't your mother raise you well? Well, she probably didn't, because she's already dead anyway..."

Instantly, you freeze, your hands clenching at Damian's words. How dare he mention your mother? He has no right.

Your expression tightens as you stare at him, trying to resist the urge to hit him.

"Well, at least... My mother is dead and that's why I'm here, because I can't be with her, but she would never have left me here if she were still alive. Not like you, who were too annoying even for your mother and that's why she abandoned you here and she left, because she doesn't love you" you answered with a cruel tone while you looked away.

It was the first time you'd responded this way to one of Damian's comments, but this time he really went too far with what he said. You couldn't stay silent. You wouldn't let him continue to talk carelessly about you. Much less dare he even mention your precious mother.

After you said that, Damian's expression darkened, he definitely didn't like what you said, and instantly... He lunged at you to attack you.

In just a few seconds I throw you from the chair to the floor, starting to try to hit you.

He manages to land a direct punch to your face, almost making you want to cry in pain. Gosh, he's definitely strong...

Luckily, before he can attack you further, the others finally act and take him off you. Dick manages to separate Damian from you.

You slowly stand up, bringing one of your own hands to lightly touch the area of your face that Damian hit.

Did it hurt? He definitely hit harder than you imagined. It was impossible for it not to hurt. In fact, you're thankful that he didn't have one of his swords nearby at that moment, because otherwise, this could have ended worse.

Do you regret it? Of course not. He was the one who started it; he asked for it by talking about your mother, and you don't regret saying what you said to him.

At that moment, Bruce approaches you, and... You don't like the serious, disapproving expression he has on his face.

"You shouldn't have spoken to Damian like that," he said, in his usual authoritarian tone.

You roll your eyes at his scolding, really... You haven't spoken to him in a while, and he only speaks to you to scold you for responding to Damian? It's not fair.

To be honest, when Damian first arrived you really wondered if he would be ignored by this family just like you.

And to your unpleasant surprise... It seemed more like he'd always belonged here. You tried to ignore the ache in your chest when you saw that Damian was so easily accepted by everyone, while you... They didn't even look at you when you arrived.

Even though Damian had a difficult attitude, he received support from everyone, even Bruce. And that's okay, because Damian is his son, but... You're also his daughter, and he was never good to you.

You didn't know if it was jealousy or just plain disappointment you felt when Damian arrived. Gosh, even Dick was so understanding and nice to Damian, and most of all, he actually gave Damian some time. Unlike you, who just made false promises and never followed through, never once seeking you out to spend time with you. You're also his little sister... So why does he only seem to notice Damian and not you?

You arrived first, and yet you still got nothing from this family. Damian arrived after you, with a haughty attitude, and yet everyone accepted and included him.

But that's okay, you don't need them, not now... So, not wanting to stay and listen to Bruce and Dick rant about how cruel your comment to Damian was, you decide to leave, quickly turning around and walking away.

Before you leave, you clearly hear Tim muttering behind you. You heard him clearly call you 'immature.'

From his perspective, you're probably just a rude little girl running away to avoid the scolding you deserve, aren't you? Well, he can think whatever he wants.

The fact that Bruce never chases you is great in situations like this, because you can just walk away without him claiming you and that's perfect.

You return to your room, reminding yourself not to attend any family dinners from now on.

You hug Toti and fall into bed. Once again, your encounters with your family continue to end badly, but honestly, it doesn't surprise or affect you like it used to.

So, you finally start sleeping peacefully... Without expecting what would happen the next day.

❦: (Here is the chapter, sorry for the delay, I hope you liked it, and thanks for the support♡).

✯/Tag list: @hopingtoclearmedschool @simpingpandas @ryuushou @ninihrtss @soulsire @artistwithcreativeburnout @the-dumber-scaramouche @khalinda-ev @sillysealsies @moon0goddess @bunniotomia @twismare

#Special and unique #female reader #neglected reader #neglected reader x yandere batfam #yandere batfam #yandere bruce wayne #yandere damian wayne #yandere dc #yandere dick grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake #platonic batfam #batfam x reader #yandere batfamily #batfamily #x y/n #y/n

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sturnsblogs · 22 days ago

Text

SORRY

Loser!Matt X Popular!Reader

—

You’d spent the whole morning casually—okay, obsessively—scanning the halls for Matt.

Not that you were desperate or anything. You just… hadn’t seen him yet today, and it was weird. Usually by now, you’d have annoyed him at least once, gotten an eye-roll, a grumble, maybe a muttered insult. The usual.

But then you saw him.

Across the quad, leaning against one of the benches. Laughing.

With guys. Like actual other people. Friends?

You blinked.

Matt. The most antisocial, miserable, ‘don’t-talk-to-me-or-I’ll-set-you-on-fire-with-my-eyes’ person you’ve ever met—smiling? Talking?

You’d never seen him look like that. He looked… like a real person. Almost happy. It felt so out of place, so completely wrong, you kind of just stood there staring.

You had no idea he even had friends.

The biggest dick you’ve ever met—besides your dad, obviously—had friends?

Insane.

Later in class, you slide into the seat beside him, plopping down like you haven’t been thinking about it all day.

He doesn’t even look at you. Just sighs like your presence personally offends him.

You turn toward him, propping your chin on your hand. “You have friends?”

He blinks once. Slow. Then turns to look at you like you’ve just said the dumbest thing he’s ever heard.

“What?”

“I saw you earlier,” you say, grinning. “With those guys near the bench. You were laughing. It was freaky. Thought I hallucinated it.”

He raises a brow, unimpressed. “You stalking me now?”

You shrug. “You’re hard to miss. Especially when you’re being suspiciously… human.”

He snorts. “Right. Sorry for not being a dead-eyed mannequin 24/7 like your little clique of robot clones.”

You blink, caught off guard. “Okay, damn.”

He leans back in his chair, arms crossed, tone sharp. “Why do you care if I have friends? You jealous they’re getting my attention instead of you?”

You scoff, but it’s a little too defensive. “You wish.”

“You literally follow me around all day like a lost puppy,” he mutters, not even looking at you now. “Kinda pathetic.”

That one stings. More than you expect it to.

You try to laugh it off, even though your stomach twists. “Wow. Did it take you all day to come up with that?”

“No,” he says dryly. “Some of us don’t have to rehearse to be honest.”

You bite your cheek, your face suddenly warm, your throat tight with something you don’t want to name. You don’t say anything for a minute.

He glances at you again, and something in your silence must hit different—because his expression flickers. Just slightly.

Then, under his breath, he mumbles, “I was kidding.”

You don’t look at him, but you hear it.

He shifts in his seat like he regrets the whole conversation but refuses to admit it. You pretend like you didn’t care in the first place, but your heart’s pounding for reasons you don’t fully understand.

And when the teacher starts the lesson, you’re both sitting there—too quiet, too tense—staring at the board, pretending like none of it meant anything at all.

Just as the silence between you and Matt starts to really settle—stiff and awkward—the teacher’s voice cuts through the room.

“Alright, everyone, listen up!” she says, clapping once to get the class’s attention. “We’re starting the media literacy project today. It’s a partner assignment, so I’ll be assigning pairs—no complaints.”

A collective groan ripples through the classroom, and you feel Matt shift beside you, already annoyed.

“This is gonna be good,” you mutter under your breath, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye.

He doesn’t respond. Just stares at the board like he’s willing it to explode.

The teacher starts calling out names, rattling off pair after pair while you start anxiously tapping your pen against your desk. You’re half-hoping you get paired with someone who’ll actually let you do all the talking—and half-hoping it’s Matt, just to force him to talk to you more.

“Matt Sturniolo…”

You tense.

“And Y/N.”

A pause.

You hear the tiniest, most exhausted exhale escape Matt’s lips.

You turn to him, grinning way too hard. “Looks like we’re stuck together.”

He closes his eyes for half a second. “Kill me.”

The teacher continues listing names, but all you can focus on is the way Matt’s jaw tightens and how he won’t even look at you.

“This is gonna be fun,” you whisper.

He finally looks at you, deadpan. “Your definition of ‘fun’ must involve psychological warfare.”

You smile sweetly. “You’ll survive.”

“I might not.”

The bell rings and students start grabbing their stuff, buzzing with conversation. You linger, zipping your bag slowly while sneaking a glance at Matt, who hasn’t moved except to lazily shove his notebook into his backpack.

“So…” you say, stretching the word. “When are we doing this?”

He doesn’t even look at you. “I’ll just do it myself.”

Your smile falters. “Excuse me?”

“I’ll handle it,” he repeats, standing up. “I actually want a decent grade.”

You blink, stunned. “You think I can’t get a decent grade?”

“Didn’t say that,” he mutters, slinging his bag over his shoulder, voice cool and sharp. “Just assumed school isn’t really your thing. Y’know, too busy contouring your cheekbones or whatever.”

You just stand there for a second, mouth slightly open.

That one actually stung.

You let out a bitter laugh. “Wow. You really think I’m just some airheaded makeup clone, huh?”

He shrugs. “If the glitter fits.”

Okay, ouch.

You catch up to him in the hallway, heels clacking loudly against the floor as you spin around to face him. “Well guess what, genius. You’re not doing this alone. I’m not letting you write some dry-ass project and slap both our names on it.”

He blinks, clearly not expecting you to push back. You narrow your eyes.

“You’re coming to my house. After school.”

He hesitates, squinting at you like you’ve just told him he’s been sentenced to death.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” you snap, folding your arms. “What, scared of a little pink?”

He sighs, dramatic and drawn out, like just the idea of stepping into your world physically pains him. “Fine. But if your house smells like vanilla and insecurity, I’m leaving.”

You roll your eyes. “If you smell like judgment and Old Spice, I’m leaving.”

He walks off with a groan, muttering something like, “This is going to be hell,” under his breath.

You just smile to yourself.

Because he’s coming over.

And whether he admits it or not, Matt just agreed to spend the afternoon with you.

The walk home starts in silence.

You’re used to filling the space between you with noise—snarky comments, playful questions, your nervous rambles—but this time, you let it sit. There’s something about having him actually agree to come over that makes you not want to push your luck.

Your heels click against the pavement as you both head down the street, the warm late-afternoon sun casting long shadows behind you. Every so often you glance at him, and he’s doing what he always does—hands shoved into his pockets, expression unreadable, walking like he’s trying not to exist.

Until—

Without a word, you feel his hand graze your waist. It’s not flirty or possessive, just—quick. Firm.

He gently tugs you to the inside of the sidewalk, placing himself between you and the street.

You blink.

He doesn’t look at you. Doesn’t say anything. Just keeps walking like nothing happened.

Your heart does this little thing in your chest you don’t quite understand, but you stay quiet. Somehow, that tiny action says more than anything he could’ve muttered.

When you finally get to your house, you realize just how badly you’ve been holding your breath.

You unlock the door and step in, motioning him to follow.

“Don’t judge anything,” you say over your shoulder, “or I’ll kick you out before we even open the laptop.”

He grunts in response.

The downstairs looks like a magazine spread—neat, sterile, expensive. Clean white walls, glass everything, and a cold silence that makes the air feel thinner.

He follows you up the stairs slowly, his eyes flicking to every gold-framed photo and untouched hallway table.

Then you open your bedroom door.

It’s like a total explosion of you.

Pink walls. Soft lighting. A perfectly made bed with an excessive amount of throw pillows. A vanity overflowing with makeup, brushes, and perfume bottles lined up in rows like an army. Framed pictures of you smiling with friends, ribbons and medals from old pageants or school competitions pinned neatly on a corkboard. Modeling photos in glossy frames. Organized chaos.

You step aside and let him look around.

He doesn’t say anything at first. Just stands there, eyes slowly scanning every inch of it.

You cross your arms. “Well? Go ahead. Say it. I live in a Barbie Dream House.”

He turns slightly toward you, something unreadable flickering in his expression.

“No,” he says flatly. “Barbie Dream House would be quieter.”

You snort, but it feels weirdly vulnerable having him here. Like he’s just seen you without your armor, even if the room screams perfect.

He walks in slowly, then flops down onto the plush white rug like he owns the place. “Let’s just get this over with.”

You roll your eyes, but your lips twitch at the corners.

Because he came.

And even if he acts like he hates every second of it—he’s here.

You’re both sitting on the floor now, papers spread out in front of you, laptops open, notebooks half-filled with scribbles and outlines.

It’s been surprisingly productive—probably because you’re the only one talking.

You gesture toward the screen as you explain your half of the idea, twirling a pen between your fingers. “So, like, media’s influence on identity, right? I feel like that’s perfect because people literally think I’m some dumb, high-maintenance girl just ‘cause I wear heels and lip gloss.”

Matt hums without looking up. “That’s fair.”

You blink. “Wait—was that agreement?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t say you were wrong. Just don’t sound so shocked.”

You laugh under your breath, a little taken aback. “Huh. You really are full of surprises.”

He doesn’t respond, just scratches something into his notebook and leans back against your dresser.

You’re about to keep talking when it happens—

Raised voices. Distant, but close enough to hear.

Your body goes rigid before you even register what they’re saying.

It’s muffled at first. Just your mom’s sharp tone and your dad’s deeper voice overlapping in that too-familiar rhythm. Accusations. Cold silence. Then louder again.

Matt pauses mid-sentence, glancing up at you.

You immediately look down and bite your lip, trying to stay focused on the screen even though your chest feels tight and your stomach’s in knots.

The yelling continues, and you wince when something slams downstairs.

“Sorry,” you mumble, voice barely above a whisper. “They’re just… loud.”

Matt doesn’t say anything for a second.

You keep your eyes glued to your laptop, fingers tapping against the space bar even though you’re not typing anything. You hate that he’s hearing this. You hate that he might think it’s embarrassing or messy or weird.

“Sorry,” you say again, quieter this time. “They do this a lot. It’s not usually this—”

“Hey,” he cuts in.

You finally look at him.

His expression is still neutral—his usual bored, blank face—but there’s a flicker of something softer behind his eyes.

He sighs, the kind that’s more tired than annoyed, then leans back on his palms.

“I don’t care,” he says. “You don’t have to explain it.”

You blink, surprised.

“It’s not your fault,” he adds, voice low. “You don’t have to apologize.”

Your throat tightens, and for a second you don’t know what to say. You just nod, staring down at the notes in front of you.

And Matt, who usually never talks unless he has to, just sits there in your pink room, surrounded by lip gloss and medals and everything he pretends to hate—and stays.

he shifts after a beat of silence, eyes scanning your vanity with fake judgment. “So… how many different types of lip gloss does one person need to survive, exactly?”

You glance up, not even trying to fake a smile this time. Your eyes sting a little, and your throat tightens, the pressure of everything hitting you all at once. You try to blink it away, but a tear slips out anyway—and then another.

“Shit,” you whisper, quickly looking down and trying to hide your face. You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, but it’s too late. Your shoulders shake slightly as the quiet sniffles start, and the room suddenly feels too bright, too pink, too loud.

Matt freezes. “Wait—are you… are you crying?”

You nod, barely, still hiding your face.

He lets out a quiet breath—then a short, awkward laugh. Not mean, just surprised. Like this is the last thing he expected.

“Dude,” he says under his breath. “You can’t cry in front of me. I’m not equipped for that.”

You pull your hands away and glare at him through watery eyes. “Matt!”

He almost flinches at the way your voice cracks, but the corners of his mouth twitch up. “Okay, okay. Chill. Don’t cry on your keyboard.”

He gets up, crosses the room, and grabs a box of tissues from your nightstand. He doesn’t hand them to you directly—just sets the box in front of you and sits back down like he didn’t just do something vaguely thoughtful.

You blow your nose and wipe under your eyes, mumbling a curse under your breath as your makeup starts to smudge. “Ugh, I look like a raccoon.”

“You looked like one before,” he mutters without looking up, flipping through the notes again.

You roll your eyes, laughing through your tears as you grab your makeup wipes and start cleaning your face off. Your skin feels raw and puffy, and it makes you self-conscious in a way you hate.

But when you’re finally done, Matt looks up again.

And he stares for just a second too long.

He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t smirk or make a comment. He just glances at you, quiet for once, his gaze softer than you’ve ever seen it.

Then he looks back down at the laptop like nothing happened.

—

A/N- This is a little long so sorry about that!

My beautiful babies- @blushsturns @starrii-sturns @izzylovesmatt @chrisslut04 @oopsiedaisydeer r @csturnioloswifey @just-a-girl-1 @sturdyyolo @sturnslvtt @sturnbows @sturniolosrtewsexy @chriss-slutt @franticroads @thecrawlys @ribbonlovergirl @freshlyinlovewchris @whore4chris @matts-girlfriend @ariana3lovesu @sturnl0ve @cass-sturn @sturns-mermaid @sunrisemill @fadedstvrn @ikyoudreamofme @mattsdemi @kitkatbar1275 @skelet0nsinmyycloset @lezleeferguson-120 @bells-sturn @sturniolosymphony @kenziesturniolo54 @kikirasweatsweathoho @emely9274 @cherryystemfemme @realuvrrr @zenithsturniolo @kier-with-a-k @eeyoresturnz @elizasturn @ribread03 @sturnslux3 @costalgirlyr

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softlypaintedseafoam · 3 months ago

Text

the summer moon was born from the waves to be loved

synopsis. you get pregnant and the ghost of university days past finds out five years later.

pairing. gojou satoru x f!reader (afab)

word count. 10.2k | masterlist

content warning. 18+ (mentions of sex but nothing explicit), college au (no powers), friends with benefits, pregnancy, hidden child trope, onesided feelings (unreliable narrator), use of y/n

reblogs & interactions appreciated.

a repost of an old favorite two-part story of mine. this story originally came about as a what if discussion concerning characters from jjk to tokrev to even bllk and the gojou idea was the most inspiring so i really ran with it. pt 2 will be posted later this week. this is filler while i work on my current wips

o. ghost

This felt like something out of a bad movie.

One of those “yeah, that’s me. The one looking like she just shit herself because the ghost of Christmas past just showed up” kinds of movies. The ghost of Christmas past whom you haven’t seen in the last five years.

The ghost of Christmas past that your daughter looks at curiously, wondering who put you in such a stupor as she asks sweetly, “who’s he, Mommy?”

The ghost of Christmas past whose face is unreadable as he looks at Itsuki before he settles his gaze on you. “Yeah, [First],” the ghost asks. “Who am I?”

Where did I go wrong?

A rhetorical question.

A lot in life has to go wrong for a man you thought you left in your memories to show up at your doorstep but you can pinpoint the exact moment in time in which you screwed up. It’s all because you sat next to Ieiri Shoko in your mandatory calculus class. If it weren’t for that, none of this would be happening.

No, that isn’t it. Your gaze turns to Itsuki, who looks back at you with familiar light blue eyes and white hair. She may have gotten the Gojou Satoru eye and hair colors, but her hair texture and skin tone both pointed to you. If I sat anywhere else she wouldn’t be here. And even if you knew that sitting next to Shoko meant meeting the world’s most aggravating man you could have fallen for, you feel like you would have taken that path once again.

No, sitting next to Shoko wasn’t where you messed up all those years agoー it was telling her you were pregnant in the first place.

i. spring tide

When you met Gojou Satoru, you considered it a godsend.

Not because his eyes were a rare shade of blue that most would kill to have. Not because he was drop dead gorgeous and the last person you were expecting to see when your classmate Shoko invited you to eat lunch with her and a couple friends.

The reason was a lot more simple thatー he was the first person you’d met in years that had watched and liked Digimon more than Pokemon. I am so glad I sat next to that Shoko girl, you thought in gleeful disbelief as he told you his personal favorites before flipping the question onto you. “I’m basic,” you told him with a laugh. “I’ve been riding the wave of Gatomon love since I was 7.”

Getou Suguru, Satoru’s childhood best friend from what you’d gathered, groaned, “please don’t make him continue with your excitement.”

“Ignore him,” Satoru pushed Suguru’s face away with all the nonchalance in the world. “He thinks Digimon is stupid.”

“It’s a Pokemon bootleg!” Suguru shot back with a sly smile.

In unison, you and Satoru gasped in disbelief and offense. “Boy bye! You can talk all the shit you want about Digimon, I can rest every night at ease knowing if my house were on fire Agumon would be able to say ‘[First], your house is on fire’,” you sneered in jest at the man, Satoru clapping in agreement all the while at your defense. “You don’t get that kind of insurance with Pikachu! ‘Pika pika’ could mean so many things!”

“Where have you been all my life?” Satoru snickered, holding his hand out for a high five you reciprocated with complete enthusiasm.

“Watching Digimon by myself,” you laughed, whipping out your phone. You needed this man’s number stat. “The next time I have a Digimon rewatch, I’m inviting you over. Like, you don’t have the option to refuse, you’ve doomed yourself.”

Satoru’s eyes were gleaming from his lowered shades, “funny, I was about to say the exact same thing to you,” he glanced over at Suguru with a teasing look. “Friendship ended with Suguru, [First] is my new best friend,” the white-haired student declared as he typed his number into your phone.

He labeled himself Digidestined Satoru, sending a text to himself: This is coming from the phone of Digidestined [First]. Your cheeks hurt from how widely you were grinning as you looked at the message. “That better be what you put me in your phone.”

“Definitely, new best friend,” Satoru promised, whipping his own phone around to show your new contact in it. Digidestined [First] it was.

Despite the apparent disownership, Suguru looked amused and unbothered, “okay but see if your ex-best friend takes notes for you if you ever take off from class.” Suddenly your new brother-in-Digimon was singing a different tune, waxing poetic about how Digimon and Pokemon were brothers from different mothers. You rolled your eyes but you’re unmistakably giddy as you watched him talk with his hands.

“There doesn’t need to bad blood between the two,” Satoru ended with a grand bow. “As such, I declare that I can have more than one best friend.”

“How did we even get on the topic of Digimon,” Shoko asked with an amused look on her face, cracking open another beer. “That was so random.”

You grabbed your own beer with a light giggle, you felt rather light compared to how you started this day. “His sunglasses had a Metal Greymon-like pattern and I had to say something about it,” you say after a few sips. “Glad I did because now I have a new brother-in-Digimon.”

Blue eyes held your gaze for a moment and you clacked your cans together in celebration.

That was how your friendship started. Clothed in beer and Digimon. It took about a week before he swept over to your place, seeking out the promise to watch Digimon together. If you can really call what you did watching, you spent more than half of the time talking over the episodes about miscellaneous topics than actually watching Tai and the gang try to get back to the physical world.

He’d known Suguru since he was 5.

(“We got into a fight on the playground. I wanted the swing and he wouldn’t get off. So I kicked him and he threw sand at my face, we’ve been buddies ever since.”

“I have a lot of questions about how y’all went from trying to kill each other to being best friends.”

“Look, don’t question our methods.”)

He was a December Sagittarius, born December 7th.

(”Yeah, I can tell!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”)

He apparently started eating sweets to stimulate his brain but ended up with a sweet tooth.

(“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, did you get that shit from Death Note?!”

“…. no.”

“Oh my god, you did!”

“You literally got a tattoo of a butterfly because of a crush you had on Jolyne from Part 6, shut up!”

“Satoru, don’t play these games with me.”)

He sounded eerily similar to Bruno Bucciarati from part 5 of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

(”Arrivederci!”

“Oh my god that’s insane! You do! Say something else!”

“STICKY FINGERS!!!”

“PFFT-”

“See? I could totally get away with saying I voiced him and no one would bat an eyelash.”

“Who else do you sound like?”

“I’ve been told I make a great impression of Kuroo from Haikyuu!!”

He did, by the way.)

And he was currently enrolled as a business major.

(“My old man wouldn’t get off my back about it. You?”

“Marine biology.”

“We have that program here?”)

He had a natural charisma that just drew people in, yourself included. That’s why you think it was so easy being with him, he made it feel like you’d been friends all your life even if reality said otherwise. He made everyone feel like that, that’s why he’d always be surrounded by people.

Still, he’d find a way to make you feel special when his eyes would light up in recognition when he saw you wave across the room at parties.

How he’d jig across the room with those lanky limbs of his to grab you in a hug. “[First], you finally made it! Thanks for coming out of the bat cave you call a room to grace us with your presence!”

It made you feel special that you were friends with the person adored by everyone else. That’s why you could playfully push him off of you and say, “you mean the bat cave you crawl to when you lock yourself out of your room and Suguru isn’t in either?”

“I’m hurt, why are you being mean to me?” Satoru pouted batting his white eyelashes like a distressed damsel. “Don’t you know who you’re being mean to when you’re being an ass? This, this is who you’re being mean to,” he gestured to himself.

“Last week you ate my fries after I specifically said not to touch them because I counted how many I had left, I know exactly who I’m being mean to.”

“How was I supposed to know you’d count them again whenever you decided to eat them?” Your irritation from last week had long since passed though, that was why you could laugh it off with a shake of your head. Satoru was Satoru, it was what you liked most about him even if he could be a pain in the ass.

Suguru’s brown eyes twinkled as you joined the small fray of him, Shoko and Utahime in a corner of the room, “I’m just glad I’m not the only one dealing with him anymore.” Satoru suck his tongue out with a ‘rude’.

“Someone has to do the dirty work,” Shoko replied as she raised a cigarette to her lips. “it might as well be us.”

Utahime smacked the tobacco stick out of her girlfriend’s hands as she said, “I’d rather not be included in the list of people of doing the dirty work.”

“Et tu, [First], et tu?” Satoru asked when you made no effort to come to his defense.

You raised your hands in mock defense, “I have to be a little mean to you sometimes, Satoru,” you told him with a snicker. “It keeps you from getting too big an ego.”

Whether or not that was working was debatable.

The night went on smoothly until your favorite brand of beer had been noticeably picked off from the coolers.

That’s my cue to leave.

“Sorry gang, but my lips don’t touch anything but Don Equis and Asahi,” you said with an air of regality not suited for a party of college students. “Maybe Corona if there’s nothing else. I’m not drinking… whatever this is. So I’m gonna head out, there’s a 24 hour liquor store around here somewhere.”

A chorus of farewells came from your friends minus one. “You coming back?” Satoru looked over at you in earnest.

But you shook your head, “nah, I think I’m done for the night,” you told him truthfully. Your social battery was gone for the rest of the evening and home was the only place you wanted to be. “I’ll catch you guys later though,” you stood up with a stretch.

Satoru stood up with you, “I’ll walk you back to your place then.”

Which was how you ended up sipping beers at the park, laying on soft grass. It wasn’t truly quiet, not with the passing of cars and the occasional passersby but it was quiet enough compared to the welcomed ruckus of the party. “Satoru,” Satoru hummed wordlessly in acknowledgement. “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

“Dunno,” Satoru shrugged back pressed against the earth snuggly. “I never really got to think about it.”

He was an only child and as such the only one his parents’ turned their gaze to with pressure of taking over the family business. He confided in you ages ago how he hated it when you started seeing more sides of Satoru than the mischief-loving comedian he presented himself as.

You scooted closer to him to lean over his head, “well I think whatever you end up doing, even if it ends up really pissing off your dad, you’ll be great at it. You’re Satoru, that’s how I know you’ll be fine,” your voice held the tone of a promise. I promise you’ll be fine and you’ll be happy.

Thanks, [First]. You liked to think that was what that look on Satoru’s face meant. “I think you’ll make a great part-time aquarist, full-time whale researcher,” Satoru replied instead.

“You’re damn right I will,” you smiled warmly at him, moving a stray strand of his hair off his forehead. “Be careful I don’t disappear for months, spirited away by the sea folk on my Children of the Sea shit.” You took his sunglasses off, you had no clue how he was able to wear them 24/7. Even stranger was how he was still able to walk so easily at night despite having them on. Apparently the Gojou eye genes were built different; the colors of his eyes certainly were. “I’ll come back to shore occasionally, mysterious as the sea itself.” The sea you got to see every time you looked at his eyes, even if now they were barely visible even with the street lights.

Satoru looked back at you with a small smirk, “even if you got spirited away, I’d just go and bring you right back. Suguru’ll kill me if I try and make him watch Digimon Tamers with me again. You said it first, remember?” His voice was low as he recalled your exact words from your first meeting. “You’ve doomed yourself. There’s no ditching me now, not even at sea.”

“I did say something like that, didn’t I,” you smiled wryly.

He didn’t say anything back, but you could guess that he was likely thinking something along the lines ‘yep, that you did. No take backsies.’ A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, his eyes staring up at yours. It’s then you swore you saw him glance at your lips from where he laid and just when you considered the idea of kissing himー the sprinklers turned on.

Even worse, in your surprise his head clashed into yours as he tried getting up with a start.

Then there was a dash of bullshit on the side when your beers spilled over into the grass.

Great, you thought as Satoru tossed your emptied cans into a nearby trash can after you got out of the line of fire. You shook your arms, droplets of water flying off your soaked sleeves.

You should have taken that as a major sign from the universe that you would be making a mistake of gargantuan proportions if you kissed that man.

Instead, the two of you looked at each other and laughed. “God I hate this park, why do we even come here? Nothing good ever happens when we do,” Satoru said with a shake of his damp hair.

“This is the first time we’ve ever even come here,” you snickered.

“And see what a great start we’re already having with it?”

“Come on,” you tugged him by the wrist. “Let’s just change at my place, you have some clothes somewhere over there.”

A smarter person would have left it at that once you got home and showered, placing your clothes in the wash. It could have been a pleasant end to the evening, the two of you crashing on the couch while watching some dumb movie you never heard of on Netflix.

But the same atmosphere from the park came back with you when he came out of the bathroom at the same time you planned to knock on it to ask if he wanted something warm to drink. “Oh, sorry-” you say when your fist lightly landed on his chest instead of the door. “I was just gonna ask if you wanted tea or something. I bought your favorite brand of honey.”

“Sure, I’d like that,” he answered but you made no move to go to the kitchen and he made no move to ask when you would.

Who kissed who first, you weren’t sure. It didn’t really hit you that you were kissing until Satoru tore his lips from yours with a pant, “hey how drunk are you because I really just wanna make sure-”

“I’m not,” you pulled his lips back onto yours and Satoru hadn’t wasted time in hoisting you up by the legs.

ii. neap tide

When does one stop sleeping with their friend? You suppose it is probably when you realize you have feelings for them.

You didn’t do that.

If it had been anyone else doing this to themselves, you would have told them to cut the cord while the feelings were still manageable.

Or maybe you at least tell the other party how they felt.

You didn’t do that either.

Maybe that was why it was all catching up to you one day when you woke up feeling like crap. The physical manifestation of your stress coming back to bite you in the ass. Right before the trip you were planning on taking with your friends, you started feeling like crap only exacerbated when Satoru was in your presence.

But you still went despite your physically manifested stress because you’re a pushover. Or more specifically, if it involved Satoru, you folded faster than Sunday morning laundry. You had to when he looked at you in concerned disbelief you were trying to drop out of your plans last minute.

“Satoru, it isn’t the end of the world if I stay home. It’s just a week long break.”

“A week long break from your friends? From me? Your best friend?”

You struggled not to laugh, “last week you said I was kicked from that position because I watched one episode of Love is Blind without you.”

Satoru scowled at the memory, “because that’s our show, we started that together, there’s no watching ahead,” he reprimanded you. “And clearly I’ve forgiven you since you’re back in that position because I can’t believe you’re trying to leave me to survive with a couple and Suguru for a week!”

You puckered your lips and shrugged, “if it’s any consolation, Suguru is your boyfriend like 95% of the time.”

“Well right now Suguru is that asshole Kenjaku’s boyfriend and Kenjaku is supposed to be coming and I do not want to fourth wheel that by myself.”

You flicked his nose softly, “so you want me to third party fourth wheel with you so you don’t have to be alone with two couples?”

Satoru grinned and you stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. “Third party fourth wheel with benefits, yes.”

You stared at him for one, two, three seconds before you relented. “Look, I’m only going because I want the sex, not because I’m happily agreeing to fourth wheel with you.”

Satoru whooped regardless in his victory, “works for me!” He chortled as he went back to scrolling on his phone.

Silence fell over you as fiddled with your pointer finger and thumb.

“Hey,” Satoru spared a glance from whatever he was staring at on twitter. “What are we supposed to be?” Blue eyes grew to the size of saucers and you continued, “Classic no strings attached? Or is this supposed to be going somewhere?”

That made him set down his phone, “why,” he licked his lips before grinning, but it looked forced even to your eyes. “Why are you asking me that so randomly?”

You deserved an Oscar for how smoothly you delivered what came from your mouth. “Well what if the receptionist there is hot? I don’t need to make things between us awkward because it turned out we aren’t on the same page,” you thumbed behind you in the direction of the hotel. “‘What the hell, [First]’,” you deepened your voice, puckering your bottom lip as you whined. “‘I thought we had something special and you fucked the receptionist? What if they end up fucking with our reservation now?!’”

“First of all, that is not what I sound like,” Satoru stuck his tongue out at you but his shoulders were relaxed and subtle he tried to be, you could feel the relief rolling off of him in waves. “Second, fucking the receptionist does sound like a terrible idea because what if they do fuck our reservation because things go south? Just find someone at a club like the rest of us. But fucking someone else is a non-issue, get all the ass you want.”

“Well glad to know I have the Gojou Satoru thumb of approval,” you smiled and Satoru grinned in return, giving you a nudge with his elbow and you nudged him back. Underneath the calm, you were a storm of turbulent emotions. You weren’t surprised, your feelings had been confirmed. This wasn’t a Disney movie. You weren’t Tiana and he wasn’t Naveenー you weren’t going to turn this commitment-phobe into something he wasn’t. Yet the pain of the confirmation echoed in your chest. “Well, not when it comes to the receptionist.”

“Because no one fucks someone with the power of their reservation at their fingertips, that’s like,” Satoru searched his mind for the perfect example. “Handing over the poison to a chef and that chef was the person you were planning on poisoning.” So is continuing to sleep with someone who didn’t want the same things as you.

You couldn’t help laughing at your idiocy, relieved that Satoru took it as a humorous dig at his less than perfect metaphor. “I’m still fucking the receptionist if they’re hot.”

“I hope they’re married and old, how about that?”

“I’ve always liked them with a little salt and pepper. I fucked your prematurely whitening headass, didn’t I?”

“First of all, this is all natural-”

You’ve doomed yourself.

iii. red tide

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

Those are the five stages of grief. It was certainly the steps that you experienced when the fact your period was late hit you while you were floating when Utahime gasped about the sea turning red.

Red tide, it was the first you’d ever seen it. But that excitement or concern about the possibility of what that meant completely subsided as you stared at the reddening shoreline when you realized a noticeable absence of red that week.

There was no way you were late for any particular reason. This was one of those flukes, your period always had a tendency to be finicky. It would be early or late at its convenience, never mind you being the one suffering. That’s why it was absolutely ludicrous that you left the beach to buy a pregnancy test.

And if you were the word you refused to think, it was your own damn fault for playing with karma the one time you decide to trust Satoru’s pullout game. Both of you were stupid, very very turned on and stupid and you should have just waited to get a condom.

But in the chance you weren’t pregnant, you swore you were going to remain celibate the rest of your university experience. You’d focus on other things, like journaling consistently like you said you would when you were writing your New Year’s revolutions.

Bargaining means nothing to biology, however, that was what you took as the universe’s answers when you were forced to look at the positive result staring back at you.

A lot of thoughts would run through a person’s head at an unplanned pregnancy resulting from a very ill-advised friends with benefits relationship.

Were you still in depression? Or had you reached acceptance yet? You weren’t entirely sure as you stared out the sparkling sea. Your sight blurring the stars above and the stars below did little reassure you as the possibilities ran through your mind.

What would you tell Satoru?

How would he react?

Would he think this was why you asked him about where your relationship was supposed to be heading?

Would assume the worst of you and accuse you of trying to trap him into a relationship when it was clearly supposed to be no strings attached from the beginning?

You didn’t know which unknown would hurt you more.

I should really decide on whether or not I’ll keep it to begin with before I start with all the scenarios, you inhaled deeply with shudder but you didn’t bother to wipe your tears. The blurriness was your own punishment. If I don’t, I never have to tell him anything. We can just cut this off and he’ll be none the wiser.

It was the most optimal scenario when you were still in college. You were barely handling the fees you currently had to pay for school, a child definitely wouldn’t help with that.

Was it too late to find something unhealthy to use as a coping mechanism?

“Yo,” you could have laughed bitterly. Of course, this is when Satoru shows up now. Right after you’ve isolated yourself away from everyone else on the more populated part of the beach. He was grinning, you could hear it in his voice. “[Fir]- hey are you alright?”

Great.

“Yeah, it’s just, you ever see something so beautiful you want to cry? It’s one of those things,” when he looked unsure, you grinned widely and wiped your tears. You didn’t need him to suspect a damn thing. “Seriously, dude, this was the reason I wanted to go into marine biology as a kid. I saw a picture of it once and decided, I wanna see that too. It’s just a surreal moment for me.”

At your reassurance, Satoru sighed, “geez, don’t freak me out like that.” You snorted as he settled next to you and you couldn’t think of anything humorous to say.

“Pretty cool, right?” The blue of the bioluminescence was reminiscent of his eyes, the thought crossed your mind now that he was in front of you.

Satoru whistled, impressed, “yeah but what is it?” He slapped a foot down on the ground, whistling again at the additional sparkling at the stimulus. “You’re the marine biologist, explain the science to me.”

“Sea sparkle,” you told him with a snort, heart drumming all the while. “I never thought I’d see something like this in my life. Red tides are signs of algal blooms are going to happen. They can be harmful but sometimes, completely harmless. This is the completely harmless kind,” a sparkling wave rolled across your feet as if to prove your point. “Well, technically harmless, there’s some conflicting evidence on whether or not it’s okay to swim in. We shouldn’t touch or swim in it to be safe. It’s just been a childhood dream of mine to do this, so don’t tell my friends in the not-dumb-scientist community. And wash your skin really really well tonight before going to bed.”

A grin blossomed on his face in his usual expression of mischief, “I ain’t no snitch.”

“Good because if you do I’m telling Shoko it was you that ate her leftovers,” you stuck your tongue out petulantly and Satoru kicked a splash at your thigh.

“Anyways,” Satoru drawled, observing the glow of his footsteps in the sand. “How long will it last?”

“It depends, sometimes a week. Sometimes a month,” definitely longer than the two of you and the situationship you’ve maintained thus far. “Once the food source runs out, they’re out. But hopefully they’ll be here the rest of our vacation, it’s pretty cool, right?”

“Yep, pretty damn cool,” he repeated like you hadn’t already asked that question earlier.

Satoru wasn’t yours, nothing was going to change that.

iv. ebb

If I’m not going to tell him, I need to leave.

That was the conclusion you came to after ultimately deciding to keep your child. Gojou Satoru wasn’t yours to keep, that was more than apparent. You wouldn’t force him to stay by means of a pregnancy.

You weren’t the first single mother in existence, you doubted you’d be the last. You’d do everything, without his help. Everything would be figured out in due time, it didn’t matter the run around you would have to take.

It took a week after the trip for you to come to that conclusion, packing your bags so you could head home. You’d transfer to a different school, there was no way you’d be able to keep a pregnancy underwraps on campus. Especially not from your friends.

You tried to distance yourself from your friends slowly, but even an inch was noticeable.

You alright?

What kind of sadists are your professors if you’re this busy?

Just let me know if you need me to come over some kind of distraction. Sorry for coming over earlier unannounced, I shouldn’t have assumed. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Those were the texts Satoru sent you the most. If any your friends doubted you, it seemed Satoru doubted you the most despite your reassurance that once you got your workload more manageable you’d be more available. You told him things were fine, maybe he just doubted you because you never told him he couldn’t come over whenever he felt like it. That was how things had been since you became friends.

Your place was his place, his place was yours.

That’s why Shoko had to be at your apartment, arms crossed and looking thoroughly tired.

“What’s been up with you anyway?” Shoko barged into your apartment before you could stop her. “Satoru’s been driving me insane asking me to check on you.” So she said, but you saw the worry on her face even if she tried to hide it. “So what’s going on? He says he’s pretty sure something is going on and you don’t want to tell him. Are you failing a class or something?”

“Nothing,” you told her a little too quickly and the brunette gave you a look that said ‘girl, please’. If your attempt to look as composed as possible wasn’t doing you favors, neither was how messy your room was. “Seriously, Shoko, I’m fine. Satoru’s just being overdramatic. It’s Satoru, you should know this. He went to your clinic once for almost breaking a nail.”

Shoko rolled her eyes at the memory, “yeah but now he’s pestering me to see if you’re actually fine or if you’re just trying to shut him out,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before the concern peeps out of her face. “He said once in high school Suguru pushed him away and stuff went bad between them for a while. He felt like it was his fault for not trying hard enough to see what was bothering him. The rest of us are being chill about everything but we are worried too, you know. Just considerably less dramatically than others.”

That made your heart twist in both in the best and worst ways.

“It’s…” you took a step back and held yourself. “It’s fine. Tell Satoru he’s just being dramatic.”

“Then why is your suitcase out?” [Color] stared into brown as Shoko’s look told you that she wouldn’t drop it until you came clean to her. “Is it that serious? I won’t force you to talk about it, but I at least want to know how okay you are and it’s something you can manage on your own. That’s all, I promise I won’t say anything to Satoru if you really don’t want him knowing,” she’s the most gentle you’ve ever seen her. Only Utahime is privy to the softest of Shoko’s expressions but you can’t help but appreciate the look of worry she has. But I don’t want you to just up and disappear on us either.”

You opened your mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “I,” you licked your lips and sat down on your couch. “I’m thinking of transferring to another school.”

Shoko peers into your face, “and you’re worried about how we’ll take it?”

You shook your head. “I am worried about that but, I’m more worried about the why I need to leave. My parents will probably freak out too, but I’m going to promise them this isn’t going to stop me from pursuing my education.” Wide as her eyes already were, Shoko’s eyes were practically the size of dinner plates. You cut her off before she could say anything else. “I’m pregnant. I found out on the trip we took.”

…

“It’s Satoru’s,” it wasn’t a question.

Your silence was enough of an answer.

“You’re plan was to transfer schools because you don’t want to tell him you’re pregnant?” Shoko’s eyes were wide and you looked away from her. “[First], you can’t expect me to not tell him about-”

Your eyes snapped back to look at her, “you can’t tell him about this.”

Shoko shook her head, “this isn’t just your kid-”

“I’m the one who’s pregnant, I’m the one who decides what to do with it! It’s none of his business!”

Shoko probably would have slapped you if you weren’t expecting, “it’s his kid too, of course it’s his business!”

“Fine,” you muttered coldly, fixing your friend with a cold stare. “I’ll tell him if you can tell me you genuinely think it’s going to go well. That you can really Gojou Satoru dropping everything to become a father for a kid he never planned on having with someone he never planned on being with. Mr. Heir of the Gojou Conglomerate Satoru,” you remember his genuine fear and subsequent genuine relief. “Hell, that he won’t think I tried babytrapping him because I asked him recently if he saw what we had going anywhere and he clearly didn’t want that. And even if he doesn't, do you think his parents would be happy with this? Truly?”

Shoko couldn’t say anything.

You shook your head with a humorless huff, “yeah, that’s what I thought too.” You paused to close your eyes and inhale deeply before looking at your friend once more. “I’m not telling him anything. I don’t need his help to raise this baby, I can do this myself.”

Shoko eyes are dark and you knew she was second guessing everything. “[First]-”

“You can’t tell him anything. Not even Suguru, especially not Suguru. He’d tell him right away.” Suguru was your friend, he was a great friend even. But you knew where his loyalties lied. He’d tell Satoru in a heartbeat. “Please,” you pleaded. “I’m asking you as your friend.”

Shoko reached for the pack of cigarettes sticking out of her pocket before dropping her hand to the side. Right, your pregnancy.

You looked at her in desperation, biting your lip. “Please, I’d never ask you this if it wasn’t important. Satoru doesn’t want me,” your eyes stung at the admission even if you accepted that truth ages ago. “Not the way I want him.”

“I,” Shoko released a shaky breath. “I won’t say anything. I promise.”

You dropped out of school without a word to your friends before the month ended.

v. moon

五条・五月。

Gojou Itsuki; you considered writing that on her birth certificate when she was born. Instead, it was your last name Itsuki received.

五, that was the only part of Satoru you would give her, the ‘five’ in Gojou. You promised that little girl you would love her five times as much for his absence.

vi. flow

That all brought you back to now in the present, Gojou Satoru sitting beside you on a park bench while you daughter looked nervously between you both. “Go on then,” you sweep your hand in the direction of the swings. “I’ll be sitting right here, okay? Have some fun with the other kids.”

Yet like moth to a flame, the man with snowy white hair is all your daughter can focus on. “But who is he?”

Satoru opens parts his lips and you beat him to the introductions, “he’s just an old friend of Mama’s, that’s all. Like Aunt Shoko. We haven’t seen each other in a while and we just want to catch up, that’s all. Right?” You shoot Satoru a pleading look.

“That’s right,” Satoru beams. “Maybe I can push you on the swings later.” That makes Itsuki grin back widely. She looks so much like him that there is no denying who she is to him. You know it and so does he.

The smile drops the moment Itsuki is out of an earshot. “You really never planned to tell me about her,” his eyes that normally remind you of crystal clear seas look more akin to frigid chips of ice as he looks at you. “You stop talking to me, you block me on everything out of nowhere and when you dropped out of school, I had no idea where you were-”

“Satoru, you have to understand,” you start, it sounds weak even to you.

Satoru looks at you with a look of pure offense. You can read his mind clearly, “What is there to understand?”

“This was the best outcome for everyone involved. You, me and Itsuki.”

“That isn’t the kind of thing you decide on your own, it takes two to make a child, [First]!”

“We’re not arguing in front of my daughter, Gojou Satoru.”

“No,” the smile that spreads across Satoru’s face is feral. You’ve seen that smile before, one he had whenever he was on the brink of swinging and starting a fight. Never before had that smile been directed at you. “She’s our daughter. My daughter. And I had to find out from Shoko five years after she’s been born that she ever existed in the first place!”

“Like you wanted to be a father anyway,” you hiss, glancing at the growing concern on Itsuki’s face.

“You didn’t even bother asking me what I wanted,” Satoru snaps back. “I would have helped. I want to help.”

“I didn’t want or need your help then and I sure as hell don’t need it now,” you stand up, swinging your wrist away from the large hand that tries to stop you. “You aren’t even her birth certificate,” Satoru flinches like you shot him. “Not your name, not your birthday, not anything. Itsuki’s never even asked about her father,” a lie. It isn’t nearly so frequent as to be considered a problem, but Itsuki did ask about the whereabouts of her father every so often. “It’s just us, Itsuki, I keep telling you that.”

“Do I have another mommy then?”

“No, it’s just us.”

Still, she asks. But Gojou Satoru didn’t need to know about that. “Just go the hell away and leave us alone. I’m not asking for your help, I’ve been doing this alone so far and I plan to keep it that way.”

You take Itsuki home, telling her not to mind the sad-looking man you left on the bench.

“Before you say anything,” Shoko starts when she answers the phone. “I know you’re pissed off.”

“No shit,” you all but seethe at your closest friend. Itsuki is asleep and it takes all of your willpower to not turn a firm but loud whisper into shrieks of hysteria. “Shoko, what the-”

“[First], I had to tell him,” Shoko sighs and you can practically smell the nicotine through. “I get it, you were scared back then but Satoru deserved to know he is a father. Itsuki deserves a chance to get to know her father!”

“You don’t get to decide what my kid needs,” you retort immediately. “We have been doing just fine without him in our lives and that’s how I wanted to keep it. Now she keeps asking about the man with the white hair and why he looked so sad and-”

“This isn’t one of those situations where you had a surrogate and did this all on your own, [First]. And he isn’t some random stranger you met some campus party years ago, this is a friend! Why on earth would you tell him that you never put him on the birth certificate.”

“Was. He was a friend,” you correct her. You push back the memories of late night study sessions gone awry by Satoru shoving his phone in your face to show you some video in his recommended list. You ignore the creeping reminders of sharing shit-eating grins, waiting for the moment Suguru learned that you changed his autocorrect for chocolate into something stupid. “We haven’t been friends in years, we’re just old school acquaintances at this point. You know why I never told him about her. And I said it so he would have an out; he doesn’t need to stick around to be her father.”

“And what if she gets tired of you skirting around her questions about him?” Shoko shoots back without giving you a moment to reply that you would handle it if it ever got to the point that it became a problem. “You might be able to skirt around it now but when she gets older she is going to ask and ask and askー and she is going to keep on asking before she does research of her own! There was no way you’d be able to keep this a secret for the rest of her life, what were you planning to do then?!”

“… I was going to figure that out by then.”

“Right and that was going to go by so smoothly and Itsuki wouldn’t feel hurt or betrayed you took away the choice for her to get to know her dad. That could ruin your entire relationship with her.”

“You couldn’t have at least asked?!”

“You never let me! I’m sorry, I’m sorry I betrayed your trust and said things behind your back. I told him to at least let me call and tell you that he knew, but he wanted to meet Itsuki.”

“I just…” your back hit the wall and you slid to the floor, resting your head on your knees. “I don’t know what to do. I didn’t think I would ever see him again.”

There’s silence when Shoko hesitates to reply to your tired voice, “look, I get it. As much as I can try to get it, anyway.” There is only so much that your child-free doctor of a friend can relate to when it comes to your situation. Things worked out perfectly for her when she fucked a friend, Utahime and Shoko’s names were written in the stars. You only admit your envy on lonely nights when thoughts of university days past make a reappearance.

“Satoru is a lot of things. He’s a clown, he’s insufferable and he’s Gojou Satoru that’s enough trouble as it is,” much to your chagrin, you can’t help snorting at her comment. “But he should have a chance to get to know his daughter. You’re a great mom, you’ve been doing great without him. I’ve seen you handle everything, you even went back to school to get your degree. You’ve got the job, everything. I’m not trying to say you need his help, I just want you to be open to the idea of letting him get to know her.”

You think of Itsuki and her questions and the look of hurt that graced Satoru’s face earlier that afternoon. “I don’t want Itsuki to get attached to him only for him to take off,” but a bitter taste fills your mouth at your words. I’m only using Itsuki as an excuse, you can only admit to yourself. The one who doesn’t want to see her father is me.

Fearful you may have been, it was no excuse to keep her away from her father.

“If he does that, I’ll kill him myself. But he wants to be there,” Shoko promises, her voice the softest its been the entire conversation. “He wants to get to know her. She looks just like him.”

She does.

You grab a baby wipe, rolling your eyes in amusement, “Itsuki, you’re getting syrup all over your face, hold still,” gently, you wipe away the sugary mess on her face before it dries and becomes even stickier. Itsuki always leaves the table looking like she’s been off to war. “You definitely don’t get your messy eating habits from me. Let me clean your hands and the fork too.”

Itsuki’s eyes sparkle curiously, “is Daddy a messy eater?”

You look at your daughter, her white hair pulled into pigtails by pastel knockerballs and her blue eyes that sparkle with hope that you’ll have some sort of answer as to the mystery of her secret parent she doesn’t realize she’s already met. “Yeah,” you whisper softly, the ghost of smile on your lips. “He got pretty messy whenever we ate.”

“Really?”

“Yep, and he would always steal the chips out of my bag whenever he thought I wasn’t looking,” you smile knowingly. He isn’t the only one guilty of such a crime. “Kinda like how someone always takes extra bites out of my pudding cups when she thinks I’m not looking.” Itsuki erupts into giggles as you pinch her cheeks now free of syrup. “You really want to meet your papa, don’t you,” you ask almost weakly, resting your hand on the table.

With a nod of excitement, Itsuki answers your question with an unmistakable yes.

“What if Mommy brings Daddy to pick you up from daycare soon? Would you like that?”

Itsuki gasps in disbelief, “Really?!”

Your nerves don’t show as you grin in return, “really.”

The first few rings you wait for Satoru to pick up the phone later in the day are painful.

I should have just asked Shoko to do this, you pace anxiously in the employee parking lot of your job. A childish part of you wishes you had asked your friend seeing as she had already spilled the beans to you. But you remember the more than subtle tone in her voice when she mentioned the other day that Satoru’s number hadn’t changed in all the years you spent out of his life. He’s the father of your child, [First], you scold yourself. Get a grip.

A second later when he picks up the line, you almost hang up in a panic.

“… Hey, [First],” he sounds like he’s grinning but it lacks his usual bravado. “You didn’t change your number.”

“Neither did you,” you reply nervously, fiddling with the fabric of your uniform as the expected awkward silence filled the air. Five years ago, Satoru was one of the easiest people in the world to talk to. Annoying and arrogant at times, most of the times even, but still easy. He spoke his mind clearly; it’s hard reconciling that person with the silence on the other side of the phone. “I shouldn’t have kept Itsuki from you,” you finally begin. “And I shouldn’t have said what I did yesterday, you have a right to be mad at what I did. I’m sorry.”

Satoru’s sigh is slow, “why didn’t you tell me in all these years? If Shoko never said anything, were you really not going to tell me about her at all?”

“Can we not-”

“No, I get to know why you didn’t want to let me know I had a daughter,” Satoru’s voice hardens and you know that running away isn’t an option. Old habits seem to die hard. “You didn’t even tell me you were pregnant.”

“I was scared, okay?” Scared and pathetically in love with someone who didn’t want you back. “I didn’t know how you were going to react… and I didn’t know if you would want to be part of the baby’s life if I decided to keep it. We weren’t even a couple. I freaked out and thought this was best course of action.”

“I would have helped, I would have been there. We were friends, [First],” you can’t tell if he sounds more angry or sad with your younger self’s line of reasoning. “You really thought I would have let you done everything on your own? I would have had your back from day one.”

“…. I’m sorry, I can’t take it back but I’m sorry,” you rest your back against the side of your car. The breeze on your skin doesn’t calm you as much as you’d like.

Satoru sighs again and he’s quiet, contemplative and your heart races wondering what is going through his mind. Would he curse you? Maybe he would take you to court for his parental rights. Instead, Satoru peacefully asks, “what’s she like?”

“Adorable,” your lips quirk slightly at the thought of your child. “I’m pretty sure Shoko’s probably shown you some pictures, so you probably know that already.” Painfully adorable and the entire world knew it, it’s a blessing she isn’t nearly as much of a troublemaker as her father. If she were, you don’t doubt Itsuki would get away with most of her ‘crimes’. “She’s a sweet girl, if she sees a caterpillar on the neighbor’s strawberries, she’ll pick it up and ask if we can take it to the park so it can eat there instead.”

You both share a laugh at that. “She’s smart too, she just sucks things up like a sponge. And she’s popular at daycare, you know,” she gets it from her father, that is easy to admit. Satoru definitely surpasses everyone you know, yourself included, when it comes to attracting people to him. Even when he’s annoying you can’t help but be drawn in. “She’s good at making friends, always looks out for the ones there who have a harder time connecting with people.”

“It’s nice to know she got all her charm and good looks from me,” Satoru chuckles smugly. “It’s a no-brainer the people love her, I expect nothing less from my kid.”

“Oh shut up,” yet you can’t deny his claim. She is Gojou Satoru’s daughter through and through. “She’s a lovable kid; Itsuki was born for it.”

“Was Itsuki the only name in the running?”

“It’s a pretty name, isn’t it? There were others in the running though,” you count down on your fingers the various options you ultimately decided against. “Itsuki stuck out the best.”

“What characters did you use to write her name?”

“The characters for ‘Five’ and ‘Moon’,” you answer softly, remembering the various combinations you could have gone with. Ultimately, there was only one that you could have gone with. “I got the idea from your last name, I… I wanted her to have a part of you with her even if she didn’t know you.”

There’s a pause then a shaky breath. “Gojou Itsuki,” Satoru says finally, sounding a million miles away despite being just on the other line.

“She has my name,” you tell him gently.

“I know,” Satoru replies softly yet there’s a tinge of emotion you can’t quite place. Melancholy? Acceptance? Perhaps a little bit of both. “I just wanted to try it out.”

Silence falls over you both again and you hug yourself despite the sweltering heat of the afternoon. Shoko is right, your secret wasn’t one that was sustainable. “Do you,” your lips suddenly feel too dry and you lick your lips. “Do you want to pick her up from daycare with me today? She wants to meet you, she always has. She even asked about you this morning.”

He does. It shouldn’t surprise you that he does and it doesn’t. Still, your heart pounds when you see him show up at the daycare your daughter spends a large portion of her time at. “Hi,” you greet him nervously.

“Hey,” even though he’s grinning, his smile is a bit off kilter. A sugary pink bag hangs from one his arms. “I uh, didn’t know exactly what sort of things she like but I got her a present. You said she’s really into whale sharks, right? So I got her a plush.”

You don’t have the heart to tell him Itsuki already has five. She’d love his gift anyway. Maybe the one he got her would become her favorite.

“She might adore that more than you,” you joke but you give him a nod a beat later. “But don’t worry about what happened last time. She’ll be happy to see you in a better mood, she was worried about you when we left the park.” Maybe that was the father-daughter bond at work, or maybe it was your child’s empathetic nature.

Maybe both.

You already discussed things with him after he agreed to come meet her properly. He could get to know Itsuki, could even meet the daycare attendants. It would just be a while before you’d be able to trust him with being an emergency contact.

“Hey, Choso,” you wave at the man with pigtails. Intimidating as he looks, his daycare is surprisingly popular due to the low rates. He wanted a place where his youngest brother could grow up happily with his friends. “This,” you start before Choso can question you, gesturing to Satoru. “… This is Itsuki’s father. You’ll uh, probably see him coming around a lot more when I pick her up from now.”

There’s a lengthy pause.

“Nice to meet you,” Choso’s tone says otherwise. If it were possible, Choso’s face would be place right under the definition of judgement. He is definitely deeming Satoru a deadbeat that was finally crawling out from the woodworks.

Satoru ignores it with the air of confidence he didn’t have a few minutes ago outside, “thanks for looking after my kid while [First] was busy. I haven’t been around but I’m hoping to make up for all the lost time.”

You doubt that was meant to be a dig, you still take it as one. “Itsuki’s playing with Yuuji and the rest of their friends right now. You’ll see her at the playground,” he gestures at the infant in his hands. “I have a diaper to change.”

“Don’t worry, I got it,” you wave. “And tell Kechizu that he needs to stop cooking better than me. The other day Itsuki said she liked his lunches more than mine.” That manages to get a snicker out of the man.

“Itsuki!” You call out once you’re on the playground and you see her eyes light up with recognition and a ‘Mommy!’ Even funnier is her little excited jig before she runs over to hug you although she stops as she recognizes the man beside you.

She glances between the two of you and you smile reassuringly. “Why are you getting so shy? Don’t you remember what I promised at breakfast?”

Itsuki’s eyes widen and her jaw drops wordlessly. You suppose she might not have truly been expecting you’d make good on your promise. At least, definitely not so soon.

“Itsuki, this is Satoru, your father,” you tell her gently, smile small. “Although I suppose, you already met him yesterday. It just didn’t go at all the way it was supposed to.” But what was done was done; Itsuki deserved to know her father. You wouldn’t take away that choice because of your own fears anymore.

“Daddy?” Itsuki asks Satoru, voice just above a whisper.

Satoru nods, settling down on one knee to look her in those familiar blue eyes. “That’s right, kiddo,”

“Daddy?!” Itsuki hops in disbelief, looking between the two of you before her eyes settle on yours again. “It’s really Daddy?!” You aren’t sure if Itsuki knows whether she wants to cry or run away in disbelief that this moment is finally happening.

You knelt beside your old friend, “say hi to your father, Itsuki.”

The tears suddenly well in her eyes but despite Satoru’s panicked voice, you can tell they aren’t sad ones as Itsuki throws her arms over Satoru’s shoulders. And if your eyes are warmer than they were a few moments ago, you don’t mind it as you watch you’re daughter hug her father for the first time.

Itsuki adores Satoru, that’s what you learn in the span of a single afternoon. And yes, she does love the whale shark plush he got her more than the other five you already purchased. She cried even harder when he hugged her back, softly promising he wasn’t going anywhere. That he’d always be there and he would come see her as much as she wanted.

She adores how he took her out for ice cream before dinner and how even after dinner, he purchased even more dessert.

He was weak to her with no immunity built up over the past five years.

This was why he couldn’t say no when she pleaded he stayed over to at least watch a movie with her before bedtime. Not that you had any room to talk considering how easily you agreed.

“So she had to get Merlin’d?” Satoru asks incredulously as the credits roll across the screen.

“That is not what was supposed to happen, the beautiful girl is subjective to the one who got cursed!” You tell him, flabbergasted that that was the conclusion he came to. Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarves is far more than a comedy. It’s social commentary! “Not to mention the body positive message it sends with the fact that shoes represent societal standards of beauty along with the objectification and idolization Snow experiences while wearing them which further supported the fact that had she had gone to the F7 as herself they wouldn’t have he-”

“Nope, too late. I like my idea better,” you could strangle this man.

“You’re going to ruin Itsuki’s perception of love,” you shoot Satoru a look of amusement and annoyance. At the very least, you know he enjoyed it.

“Good, I don’t need some snot-nosed brat trying to win over my kid that’s obviously aroace,” Satoru says firmly as he picks up your very much fell-asleep-before-the-movie-ended daughter. It’s almost uncanny how natural it looks to you, like he had been around from the start. He probably should have been. You were the one who took that choice from him and made him an unintentional deadbeat.

“Satoru, she’s five and doesn’t even know what that means yet,” you say instead, Satoru oblivious to the thoughts running around your head. One day you’d tell Itsuki the truth, once she was a little older.

“What? She told me she was aroace when I asked earlier today,” Satoru tells you petulantly, moving away when you try to hold her.

“Only because you told her you’d give her ice cream if she agreed to be,” ice cream she wasn’t even supposed to eat because it would spoil her appetite for dinner in a moment you weren’t supposed to see. “It means you’ll love Daddy forever and think everyone else is gross,” Satoru happily exclaimed, holding a cup of Itsuki’s favorite salted cookie dough ice cream. The five year old happily obliged to his whims.

Maybe Satoru will be right in his hopeful predictions that romance will be the last thing on your daughter’s mind in the future thought. On the other hand, maybe he’d be dead wrong and forced to tolerate whoever she brings home in the future.

“They’re just like you, Dad, but they’re brilliant!” She’ll say, hearts in her eyes.

You almost wanted to manifest the opposite of his wishes, only to see the face Satoru would make. It is far too early to be thinking about such things however.

“I don’t want my kid to date anyone, sue me. So I’m manifesting early,” Satoru pouts as he starts takes her to her room to lay her across her bed.

“You’re so stupid,” you roll your eyes and shake your head in exasperation, but a look of fondness is apparent in your expression.

Maybe you were born to see this moment, the moment you could see that Gojou Satoru is absolutely smitten with his daughter. You can see it in how he presses a kiss to the temple of her forehead as he takes her to his room.

Itsuki was born to be loved, she makes it too easy just by being herself. Suddenly your fears from before felt unfounded. You knew underneath the rejection of Satoru in your life that he would have been there and he would have been more than happy to shoulder the burdens of parenthood even in a platonic way. You stop yourself from wondering what that path might have looked like. You made your choice and this is path you’re on now, there is no other way but forward.

“I’ll have you know,” Satoru points a finger gun at you smugly when he returns, child-free, “my kid thinks I’m the smartest man in the world. So one of you is lying and I know it’s not her.”

“Your kid is biased and spoiled from snacks and gifts,” you retort softly with a grin.

“I don’t hear the voices of the naysayers praying for my downfall, sorry,” you both release a chuckle at your exchange and a comfortable silence falls between you both. “I should probably get going I guess.”

You smile at him politely, “we should do this again sometime, I wanna see what else in our movie collection Itsuki will have you watch next.”

Satoru grins, “it better be the Digimon reboot DVD set I saw in the corner,” he pauses before asking you seriously, “our kid does like Digimon, right?”

“You’ll be happy to know that her favorites are Palmon, Kokomon and Wormmon in that order,” you tell him smugly. How could he think otherwise? Did he forget who you were? “The plushies are just in the toy chest she has at the foot of her bed.”

Your child had to be a fan of Digimon, she had no other choice.

translation:

五月 five moons (same character in Gojou as well as a radical in Satoru) ⤷ 五・いつ - five ⤷ 月・つき - moon

part 2 ->

#romance dawn ー 🌅#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojou x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x black!reader #jjk x black!reader #jujutsu kaisen x black!reader

225 notes · View notes

jnnul · 4 months ago

Text

if i say...i love you!

a/n: i saw the if i say i love you music video and i am a CHANGED WOMAN. was going to make this for taesan but there aren't enough loser leehan fics out there. cranked this out in one day so if there any grammatical errors, pls let me know <3 quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

word count: 7.4k

tags: high school au!, losers in love, leehan is referred to donghyun, dongmin is a character accurate loser + menace, jihyo han/jihan best girl!, the bnd boys are chaotic and stupid, leehan is in LOVE, warnings: none!

THERE'S A FAT CHANCE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO ACCEPT KIM DONGHYUN'S CONFESSION.

at least, this is what han dongmin says when donghyun lays out his plan in front of his best friend.

"why?" donghyun whines, looking down at his hasty scribbles on his blueprint. "what's wrong with the plan?"

dongmin rolls his eyes, not even looking down at the blueprint (which donghyun had literally drawn out his plan on blue paper to make the entire situation more official - but dongmin just thinks its childish, if not a little adorable) as he pads into the kitchen to grab a snack.

"well for starters, i'm fairly sure that y/n can't read what you've written," dongmin says, two packets of goldfish richer when he returns.

donghyun frowns as he looks down at the paper before groaning, realizing that the hieroglyphics he'd written in place of legible letters were definitely far from interpretation.

"what do i do?" donghyun bemoans, dragging out each syllable. "by the time i work up the courage to confess to her again, we'll all be senior citizens instead seniors in high school!"

dongmin snorts before finally giving the 'blueprint' a solid look to decipher exactly what donghyun's plan was.

"your plan is to get down on your knees before first period and ask her out in front of the entire class with - are those chocolates or suspiciously small grenades? - chocolates and flowers? and you think that she's going to be first of all, comfortable with this and second of all, willing to say yes?" dongmin shakes his head, shoving a handful of goldfish into his mouth. "even if she does have feelings for you, she'll probably say no just because of this plan."

donghyun lets out another groan as he lays on the floor, cursing his luck. when he'd run the plan by jaehyun, the older had said that it was the perfect plan. although, if myung jaehyun thought that this was a good way to ask someone out, that really should've been donghyun's first sign of danger.

"also did you even need an entire sketch for this? i mean, it seems pretty straightforward," dongmin says, barely dodging assault by very well aimed marker.

"well, if you're done snarking on my plan, can't you help me figure out how to ask her out?" donghyun says, flipping over to serve dongmin his killer move - puppy eyes. the motion is clearly lost on dongmin when he just shovels more goldfish into his mouth but after a painfully long moment of chewing dongmin moves from the couch to the floor.

"alright, alright, fine...here's what you're gonna do..."

TRIAL ONE: DONGMIN'S PLAN

"hey jihyo," donghyun says casually, nodding to you as he spoke with your best friend, han jihyo. it was 7:30 in the morning and while donghyun usually couldn't be bothered to woken up before 7:45 in the morning (when he would eventually be yelled at by his mother and then scramble to get to school), he felt surprisingly excited to get up early in the morning to get to the school.

jihyo looks at donghyun confusedly as she takes her seat right next to you, where you had your textbooks open in front of you, just like he knew you would. "hey donghyun. what's up?"

donghyun shrugs, trying his best not to look at you scribbling away as he converses with jihyo. "nothing much. i was just wondering if you were busy later today? dongmin got us tickets to watch a movie but our friends dropped out."

"which movie?" jihyo asks, eyes sparking up at the mention of donghyun's best friend.

"uh..." donghyun wracks his brain, trying to come up with a movie name on the spot. dongmin hadn't prepared him enough! "interstellar?"

"are you asking me or telling me?" jihyo says, just barely suppressing her laugh. next to her, you look like you're in a similar situation, eyes bright and sparkly with the efforts to not completely laugh in his face.

while donghyun would usually take this in a win in itself, he decided to push his luck just a bit further. "i'm telling you; it's dongmin's favorite movie."

he pretends to ignore the subtle elbow jab that you offer to jihyo, fighting down the corners of his lips that keep creeping upwards. perhaps this plan could help donghyun and dongmin - two birds one stone. even if in this situation, dongmin was completely oblivious to jihyo's affections...

"yeah, i'm free later on," jihyo says before turning to you, her hair covering her face so donghyun can't see her facial expression as she's speaking with you. "you're free too, right y/n? you're coming with us?"

"i mean, i am free but i don't want to intrude. we don't even know if dongmin has enough tickets," you point out, a little shy as you look anywhere but donghyun and jihyo - which is a little hard considering that jihyo is practically in your face and donghyun is a good two meters tall (or at least, that's what it feels like).

"i have tickets," dongmin says, announcing his presence with an arm slung around donghyun's shoulder.

"perfect! so then we'll meet you guys in the courtyard at the end of school," jihyo says, fluttering her eyelashes not so subtly at the sight of the large man currently dangling off of donghyun.

he flashes an 'ok' sign as the two boys make their way to the back of the classroom, dongmin snickering at donghyun's dazed expression.

neither of them realize that you've turned around in your seat, a soft look in your eyes as you steal glances at donghyun.

+++

"i hate you," donghyun mutters under his breath. dongmin slaps his forehead with the heel of his palm, staring at the tickets in his other hand.

"you didn't exactly give me enough time to secure four tickets to interstellar of all movies," dongmin hisses, turning to flash a sweet smile to jihyo and you, waiting in the line patiently for some popcorn as the boys stood outside the theatre.

"well you didn't prepare me with a movie name! i did the best i could," donghyun whispers back, pulling dongmin to the side when an older couple tries to enter the theatre behind them.

"yes, and now look. we've got four tickets scattered across the hall," dongmin says, waving the tickets in donghyun's face.

donghyun sighs, running a hand through his hair as he tries to figure out a solution to the situation.

"what if we just bounce and do something else? there's no point in watching the movie if we're all gonna be on opposite sides of the theatre," donghyun says and dongmin frowns, looking down at the tickets once more.

"wait wait...there's two seats that are next to each other. it's just the other two that are on the opposite sides of the theatre," dongmin says, pointing out the seat numbers on the tickets.

"so y/n and i will sit in those seats, and then you and jihyo will sit on opposite sides of the theatre?" donghyun asks, reaching out to grab the tickets when dongmin draws his hand back quickly, holding them out of reach.

"what happened?" you ask, voice soft and gentle as you and jihyo walk up to the boys with arms filled with popcorn and soft drinks.

donghyun and dongmin exchange a look before handing over the tickets sheepishly. jihyo takes the tickets with furrowed brows after handing over (dumping) the soft drinks in dongmin's arms.

"hm. okay, give me one sec, i'll text you guys," she says somewhat mysteriously before disappearing into the theatre where trailers were playing.

"uh...i feel like one of us should go with her," donghyun says before pushing dongmin through the door behind her. the bewildered look on his face is quickly covered by the doors that cover him in darkness.

the giggle that leaves your mouth might as well been a choir of angels by the way that donghyun feels weak in the knees, unable to tear his away from your frame.

"here, let me hold that," donghyun says, gently taking the larger than life tub of popcorn from your arms. you thank him shyly, tugging your jacket over your shoulders.

"do you remember the last time we watched a movie together?" you ask, a faint warmth in your cheeks. donghyun nods, tossing a kernel of popcorn into his mouth.

"i've learned that you should be kept far far away from horror movies," donghyun says cheekily. you pout, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"no one warned me that there would be that many jump scares," you complain, chewing on a piece of popcorn.

"i remember how you were shaking while the murderer was searching the house," donghyun laughs, dodging when you reach out to slap his arm. "you wouldn't let go of my arm until the murderer was put in a jail cell."

you clear your throat, trying to will away the heat that was building on your nape and cheeks. "interstellar doesn't have any jump scares does it?"

you look up to meet donghyun's eyes, only to realize that they're already looking into yours. big, bright, sparkly and looking at you as if he's trying to commit every detail about you to memory.

"no, no jump scares," he says softly, and suddenly you get the feeling that you're stumbling into a territory you've never explored before as he draws closer to you.

"um, that's good," you whisper, the moment suddenly too intimate to speak. donghyun looks at you for just a second too long before stepping back when there's a buzz in your pocket.

"dongmin and jihyo?" he asks, shoveling more popcorn into his mouth before you walked in, knowing that dongmin was prone to eating everything in sight when watching movies.

you nod, reading the text message out loud. "jihyo somehow convinced two people to switch seats so we've got seats all next to each other."

"cool. let's head inside then," donghyun says, the warmth of his body leaving yours. he pauses just before he enters the dark theatre, looking at you with a soft smile.

"and y/n? even if there aren't any jump scares, feel free to hold onto my arm."

+++

"what happened afterwards?" kim woonhak asks, sprawled out on park sungho's bed. sungho reaches over to smack him on the arm when woonhak opens up a bag of cheetos, only to spill them all over his bed.

"nothing, obviously. the fool started getting so into the movie that that's all he would talk about for a good hour before y/n said she had to go home and study," dongmin says, slapping donghyun upside the head when donghyun starts to contest his recollection of the situation.

"you're really stupid," lee sanghyeok says, accepting the packet of haribo gummy bears that jaehyun throws in his general direction.

"sure. but this is all because i listened to dongmin's idea. i was supposed to ask her out at the end of the movie in some weird, complicated speech that dongmin came up with," donghyun protests.

"see, that's your issue," sanghyeok says, wincing when woonhak rips the head off of a gummy bear as he eats it. "i don't know why you'd listen to the least romantic person in this room about how to ask a girl out."

"then what do you think i should do?" donghyun asks.

"well, as the only person out all of you fools with a girlfriend, here's what i think you should do," sanghyeok starts, holding up an ipad with a drawing on it.

"when the two of you are cleaning the classroom after classes..."

TRIAL TWO: SANGHYEOK'S PLAN

"uh, what do you mean that y/n's sick?" donghyun says dumbfoundedly. jihyo gives him a weird look as she continues to take down two copies of notes, confirming that y/n is most definitely not at school.

"i mean that she's sick. she caught something from her brother. she's not coming to school today," jihyo repeats, staring at her notes for a moment before continuing to write again.

"oh," donghyun says defeatedly, thanking jihyo before heading to the back of the classroom. dongmin appears in the doorway of the classroom not even two minutes later, lollipop in his mouth as he drops one on jihyo's desk before heading to the back of the classroom to sit down next to donghyun.

jihyo twists in her seat. "this is y/n's favorite flavor. i'll give it to her later when i drop off some soup my dad's making her."

"you're going to y/n's house?" donghyun asks, leaning forward on his elbows, looking like he was pretty close to toppling over the desk and onto the student in front of him.

"uh, yeah." donghyun scrambles out of his seat to head over to the front of the classroom where jihyo was sitting.

"can i come with you?" donghyun asks. jihyo looks at him strangely for a moment before craning her neck to dongmin behind him. it seems whatever she sees is enough to convince her because she nods after a beat of silence.

"sure. you can come too. i'm heading over after we clean the classroom," jihyo says, nodding over to where dongmin was sitting and thumbing through his phone with earbuds in. "bring dongmin too."

"why?" donghyun questions with an innocent expression, backing off when jihyo fixes him with an unimpressed look.

"consider it a favor exchange. my friend for yours."

+++

"you know what, i thought sanghyeok's idea was stupid anyway," sungho says over the phone. donghyun can vaguely hear the sound of weights being lifted and dropped and he figures that his college going friend was likely at the gym when donghyun had emergency called him with a need for a new plan.

"so what do you think i should do? i mean, i only have a couple minutes until jihyo comes out of her house after picking up the soup. how do i come up with a plan in the next three minutes?" donghyun asks worriedly, shoving dongmin away when he sees that dongmin's dangerously close to his phone, trying to figure exactly what sungho was saying on the other end.

"well, clearly food is out of the picture, since you don't have time and because you're a walking hazard when it comes to anything related to a stove," sungho says, more to himself than to donghyun.

"if you could come up with a way to help without snarking on my cooking skills, that would be highly appreciated," donghyun says drily, winding up to kick dongmin when he starts snickering from where he's leaned up against the wall.

"alright, alright. here's what you do, alright? first, when you get to her house..."

TRIAL THREE: SUNGHO'S PLAN

"you've seriously never been to tokyo?" dongmin asks incredulously, his hands shoved in his pockets. jihyo shakes her head, setting down the soup from where she'd just reheated it on your stove.

your parents were out of town on a business trip and according to what she knew about your brother, jihyo figured that park sunghoon was out frolicking around in the snowy streets with his own friends.

"i've never been on a plane before," jihyo explains, satisfied with the heat of the soup finally. dongmin just shrugs, looking around your house with a renewed interest when donghyun pads out of your room to where the other two were standing in the kitchen.

"is she still sleeping?" jihyo asks, trying the soup herself. donghyun nods, rubbing his hands to create some friction and warm them up.

"yeah. she seems to be waking up but i think that she's still pretty out of it right now," donghyun explains before picking up the container of soup. "do you think that you can bring the paracetamol? it looks like y/n has a pretty bad headache."

"how can you tell she has a headache?" dongmin asks, his question turning to a whisper when jihyo looks at him with a withering glare.

"it's called having empathy, han dongmin," jihyo calls out, looking for the paracetamol in one of the medicine cabinets.

"empathy? i have plenty of empathy," dongmin says under his breath sullenly as he follows jihyo into your bedroom.

you're laying in bed, curled up in carefully laid covers, clearly donghyun's work by the way he's examining the bedspread with rather severe scrutiny, as if he's willing the hearts on your bedspread would turn into mini heaters to provide warmth to your sick and tired body. your eyebrows are furrowed, even in your sleep, as though you were fighting away the illness with a physical weapon with effort.

"y/n? you gotta wake up soon. sunghoon said you've been sleeping for hours and that you haven't eaten anything yet," jihyo says, setting the paracetamol down on your nightstand.

"yeah, where is sunghoon anyway?" dongmin asks, watching as donghyun wakes you gently, offering you a smile so sweet, even dongmin feels himself swooning.

"gallivanting on the streets. he's still sick himself but there's no containing the man," you explain, sitting up in your bed. you somehow don't seem all that alarmed that there are so many foreign people in your room, looking worse for the wear.

"here's soup. don't worry, i didn't make it - jihyo's dad did," donghyun says softly, handing the bowl of soup over with so much care, it seemed as though he were handling a live grenade.

you let out a mellow laugh, coughing at the effort as you accept the bowl of soup, letting out a blissful sigh after sipping a spoonful. "tell your dad i said thank you, ji."

jihyo just waves you off, unzipping her backpack to search for her other copy of notes. "here are the notes from today. the biology lecture really gave me a headache so i wouldn't even try to decipher that until you feel better unless you want to feel like a tightrope walker with an anvil on your head."

"that's...really descriptive," dongmin says, laughing when jihyo shoves him.

"i can help you," donghyun says, watching you carefully as you take another sip of soup, thankful for the liquid warming you up from the inside.

"you're willing to sit with me to study biology? are you sure that you don't think it'll be a bother?" you ask, looking up at donghyun through your lashes. donghyun's breath catches in his throat when you do. somehow, even with a runny nose, mussed hair, and granny pajamas, donghyun thinks you look like the vision of beauty.

"it's not a bother to me. spending time with you could never be a bother," donghyun says offhandedly, looking at the label on the paracetamol. it's only when the entire room goes silent does he realize that he'd spoken out loud.

he looks around nervously for a moment before his eyes land on you, staring at him, bright-eyed and every inch the reason why donghyun has trouble sleeping at night these days.

"i mean, you're my friend, right? why would it be a bother to spend time with your friend?" donghyun backtracks and he hears jihyo and dongmin let out a breath behind him. you still look somewhat confused before you nod slowly, finishing your soup.

"friend, right."

+++

"you were at her house and you still fucked it up," woonhak laments, wincing when jaehyun chucks a pillow at him.

"language," the older boy says before flopping on sungho's bed next to woonhak.

"why do you delinquents always have to come to my room? can't we ever hang out in sanghyeok or jaehyun's room? or better yet, why can't we ever hang out at your guys' houses?" sungho complains, but he still sits down next to jaehyun, shoving the two boys a little bit over to make space for himself.

"because your room is the cleanest," sanghyeok points out, never looking up from the homework he was working on at sungho's desk.

"yeah, unfortunately sanghyeok's room is currently serving another purpose," jaehyun snorts.

"what, as a pigsty?" dongmin quips, a smirk drawn out on his lips when sanghyeok fixes him with a thoroughly unimpressed look.

"all of you are useless," donghyun wails, swatting sungho's hands away from his hair. "i've been trying to confess to her for a good week and a half now and all i've managed to do is make a fool out of myself three separate times."

"you didn't make a fool out of yourself, donghyun," woonhak comforts before jaehyun sits up from where he was scrolling on his phone, shaking his head.

"nope, he definitely did. the first time, when dongmin booked four separate tickets and jihyo had to save your ass so you could attempt to confess after the movie, just to ramble about physics and black holes for hours. and then when y/n never showed up to school so you couldn't confess to her while you were cleaning the classroom like sanghyeok suggested. and then when he couldn't even take care of her properly like sungho suggested while she was sick because he can't cook if his life depended on it." woonhak nods when jaehyun finishes his spiel, much to the horror of donghyun, who was now starfish on the floor, looking ready to throw a tantrum.

"yeah, i can see why she would think he's weird," woonhak says with an air of seriousness.

"you guys think she thinks i'm weird?" donghyun cries out dramatically.

"no, otherwise you wouldn't be going to the library together on sunday to go over biology," sanghyeok points out logically, flipping through the pages of his textbook with a crease in his forehead from focusing.

"see, the issue is that all three of those fools are way too subtle with their confessions. sungho's ideas especially was stupid," jaehyun says. "i mean seriously, telling her that you're half in love with her while she's gotta killer migraine must've been the stupidest idea i've ever heard."

"you thought that asking her out in front of the entire class was a good idea," dongmin reminds jaehyun, who just rolls his eyes.

"you guys have no sense of romance."

"i have a girlfriend."

"shut up, sanghyeok."

"damn, alright. i didn't realize all of you were that salty that you're single losers."

"SHUT UP SANGHYEOK!"

after sanghyeok has been served with enough slander for being an insufferable boy in love, woonhak and jaehyun turn to donghyun with twin expressions of evil on their faces.

"you need to man up, donghyun! here's how you tell her that you like her..."

TRIAL FOUR: JAEHYUN AND WOONHAK'S PLAN

"so the reason why this question is phrased this way is because you're supposed to focus on the oxygen affinity for fetuses versus adults based on this curve," donghyun explains patiently, pointing at various points on the diagram in front of him as he speaks.

you nod hesitantly as you follow his hand around the paper before ultimately shaking your head, slumping down on the table.

"i'm sorry donghyun, this entire thing might just end up being a waste of your time. i have no clue what any of this means," you mutter disheartenedly looking at donghyun.

donghyun just shakes his head, smiling as he closes the textbook and stretching. at the table over from the two of you, dongmin and jihyo are bickering about the best my chemical romance instead of studying for english like they'd promised when your teacher announced the upcoming exam on friday.

in the ideal world, dongmin and jihyo would be off being a cute couple (whether they realized it or not) somewhere where donghyun couldn't see them and be jealous but the effervescent feeling he gets from spending time with you is more than enough to douse that jealousy.

"you're shoving a lot of information into your brain. it's hard to get on the fiftieth try, much less the first," donghyun says gently, and you peek up at him, only to cast your gaze elsewhere when you realize just how overwhelming it is to look at him.

it's a warm feeling that spreads through your body as you realize that donghyun looks at you as though you may as well have put the stars in the sky personally for him.

funny. did he ever realize that you looked at him the same way?

but you're left to leave your thoughts with the disarray of papers when donghyun stands up, shrugging his jacket and scarf on.

"come on, let's go get you some coffee," he says, lifting up your jacket to hand it to you. you offer him a small smile as you put your jacket on, following him out of the library once he's stopped and dongmin and jihyo's table to ask them to watch your stuff.

"bring me back a latte!" you faintly hear jihyo whisper-shout, to which donghyun turns around to flash her a thumbs up before leading you out of the library.

the weather outside is surprisingly clear and warm for how much it's snowed over the past few days.

"you didn't put a scarf on?" donghyun chastises, unwrapping his own scarf and draping it around your neck. you try to protest, giving donghyun back his scarf but he just ignores you, expertly ducking and weaving as you try to drape the scarf back on him.

"you're going to get cold!" you exclaim, but you don't fight him when he wraps the scarf around your neck properly.

"you know, i wanted to be your friend since the day i saw you, back in middle school," donghyun says, his breath leaving his lips in clouds as the two of you walked the three blocks between the café and the library.

you wrack your brain, trying to recall the first time that you'd met donghyun. "i thought we met in high school, though? at jihyo's birthday party?"

donghyun just smiles, looking up at the clear skies. "that's when you first saw me. i saw you back in middle school."

"really?" you ask quietly, shocked by the knowledge that donghyun had been thinking about you in whichever capacity for so long.

"yeah. i remember you had braces back then but you still were the prettiest girl in class. you always used to be so quiet and kept to yourself but you were so sweet to everyone around you. i remember when jihyo found out that she was nearsighted, you used to write her notes for her every period until she got glasses. and then again, when she had lasik surgery," donghyun says casually, opening the café door as the two of you enter.

"you - you weren't even in our class," you say, shivering even in the warmth of the café. donghyun seems to notice, by the way that he draws closer to you - so close that you can see the faint freckle by his eye.

"no," he agrees simply. "but i knew anyway."

"you paid that much attention to me?" you ask incredulously. donghyun shrugs, nudging you forward when the person in front of you orders.

"i've always paid that much attention to you, y/n. i just don't think you ever paid that attention to me," donghyun says faintly. you feel weak in the knees at the insinuation, moving forward somewhat dazedly.

"a caramel macchiato, vanilla latte, an americano, and a hot ginger tea please," donghyun says, completely ignoring you when you offer your card to the cashier, swiping his quickly.

"you didn't have to buy coffee for me," you say, tucking your hair behind your ear. donghyun tilts his head, eyes forming little crescents at your gesture.

"hmm." the two of you find a table to sit at while you wait for your orders to come out before you turn to donghyun, curiosity blatant on your face.

"how did you know my coffee order?"

"like i said, y/n. i've noticed you for a while before you ever noticed me."

+++

"you had everything in place! why didn't you tell her about your feelings?" jihyo cries out from where she's sitting in donghyun's beanbag chair, dongmin sitting right next to her, squishing the poor beanbag to near smithereens.

"i agree with her! why didn't you tell her about your feelings?" dongmin exclaims. donghyun rolls his eyes, throwing the tennis ball in his hands at the ceiling before catching it and throwing it back up.

"why is she invited to this anyway?" woonhak asks, even as he offers jihyo a chocopie from the stash of snacks that sungho and jaehyun had gathered after raiding donghyun's pantry.

"because she's the object of this guy's affections for the past four years," sanghyeok says, pointing at jihyo and then donghyun. "it's good to get all of the firepower you can get, with how much a dunce this kid is."

"first of all, i'm not a dunce. and second of all, i haven't asked her out because i don't want to ask her out using one of you idiots' plan," donghyun explains. "i wanna ask her out the way i wanna ask her out."

dongmin sighs, shaking his head. "how is it that you're so mature and suave when you're speaking with y/n and you're such a child when you're with us."

"i think woonhak has cooties and donghyun somehow imbibes them whenever he's in a forty kilometer radius of him," jaehyun offers as explanation.

"shut up. you and i had the same idea for how donghyun should ask y/n out," woonhak reminds jaehyun to which jaehyun has no choice but to just nod along, munching on a chocopie.

"anyway. can we talk about dongmin and jihyo for a second. how the hell is it that y/n and i went to the café while you two were fighting like cats and dogs about the best mcr song and we come back to you to basically making out in the library," donghyun says, turning in his swivel chair to smile smugly at the conjoined twins on his beanbag chair.

"shut up!" jihyo yells, throwing a chocopie wrapper, only to incite more laughter from the boys when it falls to the floor pathetically.

"hey, to be fair, it only took us about two years of knowing each other to start dating," dongmin specifies. "it's just that the past month of trying to push you and y/n together pushed us together enough for us to realize that maybe dating wouldn't be such a bad idea."

jihyo and donghyun exchange a look (a threatening glare from jihyo and very thinly surpressed smirk from donghyun) - something, which unfortunately, does not go unnoticed by the rest of the boys. especially dongmin, who twists to look at his girlfriend with an unbelieving look.

"no way. don't tell me you also have some pining love story like donghyun," dongmin incredulously. at jihyo's silence, the entire group erupts into chaos, with sungho and donghyun (after feeling guilty) trying to silence them in vain.

"oh my god, just when i thought they couldn't get any more insufferably cute!"

"god, i hate both of them."

"why is everyone so bad at confessing their feelings."

"i'm gonna tell my girlfriend about this; she's gonna find this hilarious."

"i REALLY need to stop being single."

dongmin just ignores all of them, pressing a chaste kiss to jihyo's cheek when he realizes that she's gone bright red from the attention to her feelings.

donghyun mimes throwing up when he does so but can't help the smile on his face when he turns to his phone.

"anyway, anyway. back to the donghyun and y/n intervention," jihyo says, clearing her throat. she still earns a couple cheeky grins but manages to turn the gazes of the group to the individual sitting at his desk, frozen in his spot.

"what's wrong?" woonhak asks concernedly. donghyun just lifts up his phone to show the others in the room.

y/n (<3): hey, can we talk?

TRIAL FIVE: DONGHYUN'S PLAN

"y/n? is everything alright?" donghyun says, his footsteps masked by the snow that didn't melt from when it snowed again a few days ago.

you look up at him with a nervous smile. "yeah, everything's fine. um...do you wanna sit down?"

you scoot over to make space for donghyun on the bench you were sitting on. the bench faced the pond, somewhat concealed from the busy streets of seoul by the various coniferous trees that lined the public park.

"sure. yeah." donghyun takes a seat next to you, knee bouncing nearly as soon as he sits down.

"you look nervous," you say gingerly.

"you look nervous," donghyun echoes.

"touché." you fiddle with your hands, the evening suddenly feeling a lot colder than you thought it would be. donghyun notices, just as he notices everything, and for some reason, he shifts so that he's sitting on his hands. almost as he was physically stopping himself from doing something.

"so...what did you want to talk about?" donghyun asks, watching as a young child tries to escape his father's grip to run straight down the little slope that fed into the pond.

"nothing," you squeak out before shutting your eyes tight when you feel donghyun turn to look at you instead of the pond.

"oh. did - did you just want company as you sat outside for a bit?" donghyun stutters, not sure of what to do with himself.

"no," you start, before shaking your head at your own words. "i mean, i do have something to say. i'm just trying to find the words to say it."

"you know, i've been meaning to tell you something to you too," donghyun says tenderly and you immediately nudge him, encouraging him to go ahead and say his piece first.

"no way, you have to tell me first," donghyun defends, turning his nose up away from you when you try to catch his eye, trying to grasp his jacket to turn him towards you.

"i'm nervous, donghyun. can't you do me a favor and go ahead first?" you plead and donghyun melts, unable to hear any sort of sorrow in your voice - for whatever reason.

"alright, how about we say it at the same time?" he proposes and you concede as you nod, retracting your hand, not noticing the way that donghyun's gaze follows your movement.

he lifts three fingers, then folds one, until there's only one left. you shut your eyes, unable to see the expression on his face.

"i like you!"

"i love you."

you immediately open your eyes, jaw hanging as you stare at donghyun, who looks equally flummoxed by your words.

"you like me?" he asks, pointing a finger at you. you turn the finger back at him incriminatingly.

"you love me?" you gasp and donghyun's gaze grows tender, taking his other hand to trap your hand between his two large ones.

"for a while," he admits sheepishly, a shyness so uncharacteristic to the gentlemanly and smooth donghyun you were used to. "i've been trying to confess to you for the past month now. you just...never noticed."

you laugh besides yourself, immediately willing all laughter away when donghyun looks at you with a hurt expression.

"you've been trying to confess to me? donghyun, i've been trying to confess to you for the past month!"

"what?" he stammers. "you've been what for the past month?"

"yes, you fool. i've been trying to confess to you for months. i've liked you for months! and then when you asked jihyo and i to the movie, i figured that it was dongmin's scheme to ask jihyo out so i decided to use the chance to ask you out. and then the whole tickets fiasco happened," you explain, inching closer to him. donghyun uses the opportunity to thread his hand with your own, tugging you close to him so that his body warmth could envelope your shivering frame.

"and then you spent the next hour talking about the movie and you just seemed so excited that i didn't want to distract you. and you know, you're cute, when you're excited," you continue, grinning stupidly when donghyun turns away his head to hide his shy expression.

"so this whole month, you've been trying to confess to me too?"

"donghyun, you say i haven't paid attention but i swear to god, you are so dense sometimes."

TRIAL SIX: Y/N'S PLAN

"look, look," jihyo whispers under her breath as donghyun enters the classroom. you don't look up, not wanting to feed into jihyo's taunts, knowing that it would only serve as fodder for her teasing later on. you wait for donghyun to pass by your desk to the back of the classroom, where he sat everyday, staring out of the window rather than paying attention to any of the classes. any of the classes other than biology, that was.

but to your surprise, donghyun stops at your desks, talking to jihyo about some movie or another. a pang of jealousy that you try to swat away strikes in your chest before you hear dongmin's name and hear donghyun's attempts to keep from snickering in jihyo's face

ah. so he was just the messenger for dongmin.

you continue to write, not sure of what exactly you were writing anymore as you were trying not to make it overt that you were listening to jihyo and donghyun's conversation.

"i know you have tutoring today, but push it back until seven in the evening," jihyo whispers hotly once donghyun has disappeared from earshot.

"you have a movie date."

+++

"are you going to finally use this chance to ask him out?" jihyo asks when she catches you staring at the tall boy conversing with his friend outside the theatre hall as the two of you stood in line for refreshments.

"that's the goal," you respond with a sigh. "i don't know if he feels the same but i don't want to regret never telling him about my feelings."

jihyo nudges you softly. "hey, don't have such a negative outlook. you don't know how he feels, right? don't knock it before it happens."

you don't respond, watching donghyun chasing his friend around with a blithe smile, waving the tickets in the air.

+++

"i personally thought that the best part of the movie was when the dad ended up inside..." donghyun rambles excitedly, holding scoops of popcorn in his hands as he explains his theories to dongmin. you can't help the smile on your face as you watch him act so carefree and enthusiastic. dongmin nods along, explaining his own theory every so often.

jihyo's eyes dart between donghyun and dongmin before she slumps down, taking a long sip of her fanta. "somehow, i don't think that any level of confession is going to happen today."

you just laugh, content to listen to your friends discuss their favorite scenes from the movie before clicking your phone open, only to curse when you realized you only had a few minutes before tutoring.

"i'm so sorry - i have to get going!" you say hurriedly, gathering your things as quick as you can before you rush out of the theatre, wincing when you realize the amount of courage you'd have to work up once again to confess to him.

but donghyun just watches your uncomfortable expression as you rush away, unsure of it was his fault.

+++

you sit up in your bed, accepting the bowl of soup that donghyun hands you, trying your best to ignore the tingle of electricity that runs down your spine when your fingers brush against his.

your focus fades in and out of the comfortable rhythm of the conversation as you sip on the soup when jihyo drops the daunting copy of notes she'd written for you on your desk.

"i can help you," donghyun says, anchoring back to the conversation. you try not to show the fact that your heartbeat is now around the same decibel as a plane taking off, instead trying to deny his offer for fear that spending too much time together might cause to spit out the words you've been chewing on day and night for the past few days.

but something about the way that he says he's more than happy to help you and that you're not being a bother by asking for help makes you stutter for just a moment and in a second of weakness, you accept his help.

"friend." the word feels surprisingly bitter on your tongue when you echo the way donghyun says it, like its been dripped in lead in the way that it sits so heavy.

not when you wanted so much more

+++

"you know what, this will be the perfect timing for you and i to ask them both out," jihyo says, opening the door to the library as the two of you head inside.

"i still cannot believe you and him have been fighting like cats and dogs and you think that it's peak romance," you laugh as jihyo shoves you playfully.

"whatever," she says before turning to you, surprisingly serious. "alright, promise me that you'll ask him out. whenever i'm alone with dongmin, i'll confess my feelings for him so you have to promise that you'll confess your feelings to donghyun."

you interlock your pinky with her, only to drop your hands when you stumble across donghyun and dongmin, who are sitting with their heads together, looking not too unlike head-butting bulls.

"oh. have we interrupted something?" you ask through a stifled giggle, causing donghyun and dongmin to spring apart. you swear that dongmin quite literally is suspended in air for a good two seconds before landing once more in his chair.

"no, no, not at all. come y/n. you and i can sit here," donghyun says, pulling out a chair for you to sit in.

you try your best to ignore jihyo's gaze as you pull out your textbooks, ready to learn as much biology as you possibly could. and maybe put off any sense of confession for as long as possible.

+++

"weren't you the one who said that you didn't want to regret not confessing your feelings to him?" jihyo points out, stirring a mug of hot chocolate. you nod, slumping in your chair.

"i know..." you scramble to straighten your posture as you lean over the table to look at jihyo. "how did you ask out dongmin?"

she shrugs, uncharacteristically shy as she takes a sip of hot chocolate. "i didn't. dongmin asked me out."

you groan, sliding down your chair once more. "why can't donghyun ask me out? what if i just never work up the courage to ask him out?"

jihyo just laughs at your torment when her phone buzzes. she pulls her phone out of her pocket before reading the text message.

dongminnie mouse: donghyun's house in twenty. you're officially on the donghyun and y/n intervention squad >:)

she pockets her phone once more before sliding her hot chocolate over to you before gathering her belongings.

"where you going?" you call out, passing off the hot chocolate to your brother padding down the stairs. jihyo slips her shoes on before turning around with a shit-eating grin.

"to go and fix your issue for you!"

TRIAL SEVEN: FATE'S PLAN

"that's one killer best friend," donghyun huffs as he pieces together the entire situation together. "if only dongmin was as competent; we'd have had this conversation months ago."

you rest your head against donghyun's shoulder, watching as the sun slowly begins to start its descent into the horizon.

"i don't know. i'm kinda glad that things worked out the way that they did. what if i didn't feel as strongly as i do now? maybe this was all meant to be," you say softly. donghyun smiles, turning to look you in the eyes.

just as sparkly, bright and so full of affection as you knew his eyes would be.

he leans in close, just a breath away from you as his eyes never leave yours.

"really? and if i say i love you right now?" he asks, and you forget why you'd ever been scared to confess to this boy, so full of love just for you.

you lean in even closer, pressing your lips against in a sweet, tender kiss, smiling when his lips seem follow yours even with his eyes closed.

"does that answer your question?"

"more than enough."

#jnnul #onedoornet #bnd x reader #leehan x reader #bnd imagines #bnd scenarios #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor #leehan fluff #leehan fic #bnd fic #boynextdoor fic #boynextdoor imagines #leehan imagines #leehan boynextdoor #bnd #bnd fluff #boynextdoor fluff

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ceasarslegion · 3 months ago

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I work in aviation safety. Let's talk statistics, before the fear mongering train leaves the station.

Around 45,000 flights take off and land in the US every day.

3 aircrafts have crashed in the last week.

That means 99.996% of flights took off and landed without incident. None of those 3 aircrafts were commercial passenger planes, ie none of them were the types of planes you will likely fly on throughout your life. Unless you're in the military, wealthy, or part of a special travel group like a sports team, a diplomat, high-risk prisoner transport, or an air ambulance, you will likely never fly on a private charter flight or military aircraft.

That means all public commercial flights in the US on the days of the recent crashes took off and landed safely, as far as I have been able to find.

Is 2 crashes within a week an absolutely unacceptable number? Yes.

Is this likely connected to the recent firings of the American aviation safety and ATC personnel? Yes.

Is this indicative of a wider trend that I should be worried about as an average citizen of the US, or someone traveling to or within the US? As of now, February 1st, 2025, no. Flying is still, statistically, the safest mode of transportation. Even with the recent crashes included in the numbers, even if you're travelling within the US.

Does this have anything to do with DEI? No. The aviation safety industry has some of the most stringent job training regimens in the world. No one who can't cut it in ATC will get anywhere near an ATC tower, regardless of their minority status. I don't work in ATC, but I'm under the wider aviation safety umbrella, and it took 3 months to finish my training. 18 people started out in my training class and 7 of us passed. No one in an airport terminal can get the badges we wear without passing that along with an INTERPOL background check that we have to do all over again every few years.

Why are you telling me that? Does it really matter if he gutted the ATC? It does, actually. My point is that the people they let work in airports are some of the most competent and capable individuals you can find. You don't cut it if you can't think on your feet or juggle unexpected and unprecedented situations and handle emergencies and contingencies. On average, an air traffic controller handles 5-15 planes at the same time, but they're trained on handling many more in the event of emergencies and unprecedented situations. It's not ideal right now, it's really not, but considering all the things I just told you about aviation safety employees, and the fact that ATC is THE hardest career to cut it in within that umbrella, even the worlds worst air traffic controller is as capable and trustworthy to handle your life as a good neurosurgeon.

And please, please support the american ATCs right now. Just because they CAN handle emergency-level workloads doesn't make it easy or sustainable for long periods of time. Do not blame the ATCs who were handling the crashed flights, it wasn't their fault that they were overworked and overstressed and numbers and directions started scrambling in their heads. They already have to live with what happened for the rest of their lives, they don't need other people making value judgements of them too.

#ramblings

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charmac · 4 months ago

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Danny did a little interview for AARP Magazine in December. I haven't seen it copied anywhere past the paywall and I enjoyed reading it, so wanted to repost here

(Article is pasted as text below the cut)

Noisemaker I was born in Asbury Park, New Jersey. I was the baby, my sister Theresa was 10 years older, my sister Angie was 16 years older, my mom had two sisters, and none of them shut up, ever. It’s an Italian family, so the decibel level is out there. A little smart aleck I went to Our Lady of Mount Carmel School, because if your mother and father didn’t know what to do with you, they gave you to the nuns. … and still a smart aleck I remember when Peter, my nephew, was born. I was 7 years old, and I went over and looked into the bassinet, and the first thing he did was pee on me. It was great! I don’t think there’s a conversation I’ve had with the guy over all these years where I don’t bring up the fact that he peed on me. Also an old softie Do anything you can to keep on an even keel with your family and friends, no matter what happens in your life. That’s all we have. Don’t hide things. You’ve got to get up every day thinking about how you’re going to make it easier for the people that you’re working with or that you love or that you eat breakfast with. Because it’s infectious; everybody starts feeling good. Falling into the business Growing up, I’d spend the weekends at the movies, but I actually wasn’t even thinking about doing it. I got introduced to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in a roundabout way, took a couple classes, and I got the bug. And I thought, I’m not like Cary Grant, but I got a feel for this thing. So I studied, and then I went and started looking for jobs in New York, like every other actor does. I didn’t care what the description was—“male, 6 foot 4, 250 pounds”—I’d go out for the audition. Once I got in the room, I’m going to do what I’m going to do. Becoming Louie I wanted that part, Louie DePalma [in Taxi]. I walked into the room to audition in front of the four guys who created it, and I said, “One thing I want to know before we start. Who wrote this shit?” And I threw the script on the table. And I had a nanosecond of, did I screw everything up? Then they fell on the floor. Louie walked into their lives. Sudden fame I went to the market the day after the first episode aired, and people are stopping me on the street: “Hey, Louie!” They weren’t calling me Danny. After a couple of days of this, I called my publicist, and said, “This is really crazy. People are chasing me down the street.” He says, “Danny, you don’t have to worry until that stops happening.” Now it’s all, “Frank, Frank, Frank!” because of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is good. The fans are all you have. Still evolving I think I’m bolder than I’ve ever been—I don’t monitor myself as much. I do say things that are, like, pretty far out, that are really weird, and sometimes I’m inappropriate. But I am always respectful, and that’s because of my two sisters, I swear to God. You have to respect other people’s space.

My happy place Since my two grandbabies have been born, I am just in- corrigible. You gotta tamp me down in the joy department, you know what I’m saying? I’m just so lucky. Blessings have been showered down on me. I wish that for everybody.And the thing is to be aware of it. Don’t let it go. Rhea [Perlman, DeVito’s wife, from whom he is separated but with whom he still spends a lot of time] and I were always able to see those little, incremental changes when our kids were growing up. And I tell my kids that, with their babies: Don’t miss a thing, don’t look away. A sudden case of holidays I’m in the movie A Sudden Case of Christmas with my daughter Lucy, who plays my daughter. It’s just a real warm, wonderful movie, and I loved doing it. As far as the actual holidays go, we have family dinners. Basically we’re Italian, so you know, anybody who’s around, we grab. We get to celebrate all the holidays, because Rhea’s parents were Jewish, so we did all the Jewish holidays, and we do all the Catholic holidays or Italian holidays. My mantra It’s always a good thing to be positive about life, and always get out of bed thinking today’s the day you’re really going to kick its ass. That’s the way to do it

#i hope its legible in photo form #i had to torrent this whole magazine to read it #and then just screencapped it so #not the best quality but you get the picture #the piss story took me out #like ofc #danny devito #OC

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delilahsturniolo · 3 months ago

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୨୧ people watching . . . ravenclaw!matt x hufflepuff!reader

(this is just a oneshot, but i could make it an au in the future if you guys like it!)

hogwarts, a magical and mysterious place that held many stories of love and rivalry, but none quite like the one between you and matthew sturniolo.

you were a hufflepuff—a quiet, bookish girl with a heart as soft as a whisper. you absolutely adored the smell of paper and ink, the warmth of the hufflepuff common room, and the way sunlight shined through the greenhouse windows during your favorite class, herbology. something you didn’t enjoy however, was attention.

matthew, on the other hand, was a ravenclaw with a reputation. he was brilliant, charming, and—unfortunately for you, utterly adored by nearly every girl at hogwarts. his deep blue eyes held the mysteries of the universe, his intelligence and wittiness made professors smile, and his kindness made people swoon over him like there was no tomorrow. there wasn’t a single girl who didn’t at least flirt with him once or have a crush on him.

except you. or . . . so you gaslight yourself to believe.

you did like him. a lot, actually. but you always told yourself that you were far too shy to ever say anything to him. after all, why would matthew sturniolo, the most sought-after boy in school, notice you? a lame, quiet, and reserved hufflepuff?

yet, to your surprise—he did.

It started in the library. you always sat at the farthest table near the restricted section at the back, where it was quietest. it was a quiet evening to say the least, you head was buried into a book as you studied for your care of magical creatures class. when suddenly, matt strolled in. his head was up high, his blue tie hung around his neck, his brown hair looked slightly disheveled from a recent quidditch match.

“mind if i sit here?” he asked, setting his books down before you could even process what was happening. your heart pounded with anxiety and anticipation, nodding at him.

however, this wasn’t the only time this had happened. over the next few weeks, this became a routine. matt would show up, sit beside you, and strike up quiet conversations. he often asked about your favorite books, interests, and more. matt listened to every word you said. he was good at that, he was genuinely curious about you, never once growing bored of your timid responses. he didn’t really see an issue in getting to know you. you found yourself relax even more each time the two of you would interact.

but, there was a problem. every girl in hogwarts noticed the two of you.

they whispered in the corridors, giggling about you in hushed tones. they sent you sharp, and mean glances when they saw you walking beside him after class. some girls were even bold enough to ask matt directly why he spent so much time with you when he could have anyone else.

you eventually decided to just stop speaking to matt, you thought it was for the best honestly, you didn’t want people to hate you, after all. so, you ignored matt when he approached you in the hallways. you never sat in your usual seat in the library, you walked with someone else to class.

matt noticed how distant and cold you were being towards him, without an explanation. he felt confused, and hurt. why were you suddenly ignoring him? a few days ago you both talked to each other 24/7, what changed? those were the types of thoughts running through matt’s head.

one night, you were sitting on a wooden bench near the black lake, your knees tucked into your chest as you watched the reflection of the moon on the water. you haven’t spoken to matt in a week, and everything felt different, but not in a good way.

“y/n?”

you turned your head, startled. matt stood there, hands in his pockets, looking more uncertain than you had ever seen him.“you’ve been avoiding me.” his voice was quiet, but it held a weight of pain, and hurt in it as well.

you swallowed hard. “i—i haven’t been.” you lied right through your teeth.

he raised a brow. ravenclaws could always see through lies. “you ever gonna stop bullshitting with me and tell me the truth?” matt scoffed in disbelief. you sighed heavily. “it’s just… people are talking. they don’t understand why you’d want to be around…someone like me, y’know?”

matt sat beside you. “let them talk,” he said simply.

you blinked at him, speechless. “what?”

“i don’t care what anyone at this stupid school thinks, y/n. i like spending time with you. and if you’d let me, i’d like to spend even more time with you.”

your breath caught, you were in disbelief from what he was saying to you. “really…? you…would?”

matt chuckled. “of course i would. you’re kind, brilliant, and you don’t care about silly things like popularity. you’re real, and genuine. those other girls? they’re mean, and probably only want to get with me for their reputation. i know you, i know you aren’t like that. it’s…quite refreshing actually.”

you felt warmth spread throughout your chest.

for the first time in a long time, you smiled, you truly and genuinely smiled at him. as matt smiled back, you realized that maybe, just maybe, love wasn’t only reserved for the loud, the bold, or the ones who demanded attention. sometimes, love found the quiet ones, too. you realized in this moment, you didn’t need to change yourself to find love. all you did was be yourself, live authentically, and love found it’s way to you. a fucking ravenclaw, too. who on earth would’ve known?

taglist

a/n 💌: hiii!! i know this is superrr different from what i usually write, i’ve never written anything about harry potter before so i’m really truly sorry if anything is unrealistic, i haven’t watched harry potter in years and lowk had to do some research in order to write this. let me know if you guys want more!

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billluver0124 · 11 months ago

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"middle school shenanigans!"

synopsis : tom goes through his 'first love' experience with y/n! WARNINGS: there is none, its a fluff story !!

authors note: once again, @rottinglilys helped me with the plot of the story ! i hope you guy enjoy my lovies<3

it all started back last year in grade 7, tom had a MASSIVE crush on y/n. he would always catch himself staring at her in classes because they had most classes together.

he always adored how she looked; her hair, her eyes, her bubbly personality, her willingness to be kind towards those who dont deserve it. but most of all...her smile. toms heart used to explode like fireworks whenever he was blessed to see her smiled.

then on the day before spring break started, tom slipped her a note in her locker.

"Hey, ich bin in dich verknallt. Magst du mich auch?

ja oder nein ?-t.k"

y/n was so confused when she got the note. she didn't know what 't.k' stood for, until the very last hour of school. when tom decided to man up and go up to her.

"y/n!" he yelled, jogging up to her to catch her attention. she turns around "oh hi tom!" she said, smiling. tom almost fell to his knees right then and there, but no! he needed to tell her how she felt! "did you get my note?" tom asked, his hand wrapped around the back of his neck. then it hit y/n straight in the face, t.k = tom kaulitz, how could i be so fucking stupid? she thought to herself. "o-oh uh yea!" she answered nervously. "c-can i see it?" tom asked, y/n nervously giving it back. he opens it to see that it wasnt answered "you didnt answer it, do you not like me back?" tom felt his heart sting a little but it was soon reassured. "n-no i do like you, i like you a-a lot!..." y/n blurted out "i just didnt know what 't.k' meant at first until now..." tom chuckled, "what did you think it meant?" "i-i dont know...t-turkey kabob?" she joked, causing them to both laugh. after a moment of silence, tom speaks "so, are you my girlfriend now?" tom asked, not knowing where to go from here. y/n nods, giving him a hug. tom feels his heart flutter at the feeling of y/n in his arms. "you wanna hangout this weekend? ill ask my mom if its okay" she asked, tom nods "yea for sure! ill see you then"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

it was now grade 8, tom and y/n have been dating for a year! their families have grown fond of each other and they hangout at each others house after school most of the week and sometimes on weekends...

with the condition that the door must stay open of course...

today they were at toms house, tom was showing her a song he was playing some guitar for her and she just peacefully watched. y/n always admired toms talent on guitar, she knew he was gonna make it big one day.

after a little while, he puts the guitar away and pats a spot next to him "wanna cuddle liebe?" he asked, she smiles and lays next to him. he pulls her into his embrace, her pretty head rests upon his chest as he strokes her hair.

as tom stroked her hair, y/n found herself staring at a particular feature on his face, his lips. the pretty pink color, the way they curved into a smile whenever he was happy, and oh my god his lip piercing...y/ns never kissed anyone before, but she wanted to kiss him so bad. "is something wrong?" tom asked, slightly nervous. "nothing its just..." y/n took a breath before she finished her question "h-have you ever kissed anyone?" tom sighed "uhm, yeah..my babysitter when i was like..9" "oh.." "why? have you ever kissed anyone schatz?" tom asked, y/n looks down; embarassed "n-no, i havent.."

then almost immediately, tom got an idea in his little brain>.<

"do you want to have your first kiss?" "well, yeah every girl wants to have their first kiss" y/n joked "no schatzi..." tom chuckled "i mean do you want to have it...with me?" y/n hesitates for a moment, nervous of if shes a good kisser or not. shes really new to this! what if shes a bad kisser? what if she goes too far? but it couldnt be that bad right? its just a kiss for christs sake!

"yeah..is that okay tommy?" "its more than okay with me schatzi.." tom sat up, scooting closer to her "you ready?" he asked...

y/n nods, shakily moving her face closer to him. tom places a hand on her cheek then boom! their lips were sealed together! (aww so cute! >.<) y/n places a hand on his shoulder, deepening the kiss. then they let go because if they kissed any longer they would suffocate!

"woah.." y/n mumbled, tom chuckling at her reaction "did you like it?" "yeah i did" y/n said, softly smiling... "then we should kiss more often then hm?" tom said, smirking at his girlfriend.

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #bill kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x reader #georg listing x reader #gustav schafer x reader #bill kaulitz fluff #tom kaulitz fluff #georg listing fluff #gustav schafer fluff #emo #y2k

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hughjackmansbicep · 8 months ago

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Delicate

a/n: hi friends!!!! im hoping to make this into a multi part series, got lots planned for this mini fic :))))) this is kind of the prolouge to the real deal, needed to get the setup for it started before we divulge. expect lots of twists n turns my friends!

Pairing: Logan Howlett X F!Mutant!Reader

Warnings: uhhhhh none lol

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: The government has successfully began the eradication of all mutant species in the United States. Lucky for you your dad has taken careful precautions to protect you from the evil that lurks in the streets outside. Tucked away in a concealed basement you sat and rotted away clinging to your old life and dreams. What happens when one day you've got a severe hankering for some ice cream and he ran out of beer the same night? Both finding yourselves in the right place at the right time.

The world as you knew it was slowly coming to an end. Mutants everywhere were dropping like flies after the government slowly started poisoning everyone's food. Unless you were an off-grid loner living off the land, you succumbed to the same fate as everyone else, 6 feet under. Lucky enough for you, your father kept you pretty sheltered. Tucked away in your fully renovated basement, the world is ignorant of your existence. It was safer this way; I mean, sure, you missed going out to bars and seeing your friends; hell, you even missed those 8 a.m. bio classes you used to take. But this was safer; at least that's what your father always preached. “It’s safer down here, away from all those evil people.” He'd remind you every day, “You're to never leave my site, kiddo, and never step outside those doors.” Not like you could anyways, while your mutation allowed you to control the atoms around you and morph them into anything your heart desired, you had one weakness, adamantium. Your house was coated in it; every doorknob, lock, and even the goddamn windows were coated in the shit.

It was 3:00am, no one was home, and you found yourself craving ice cream. It wasn't uncommon for your dad to leave you to your own vices. He still had a job he'd have to attend to, and that more often than not led you to solidarity on his trips. And here you were in the middle of the night, the light from the fridge illuminating the dimly lit kitchen, tearing your freezer apart hoping to magically find a pint of Ben and Jerry’s buried deep in the frost. You groan, sinking down to your knees, met with disappointment and an ever-growing craving for the sweet, delicious taste of The Tonight Dough. Sure, you could've totally put in an Uber Eats order, but where would the fun in that be? You stood in front of the adamantium-cladded door, using all your strength to melt it to the ground, but to no avail. The only thing between you and your Jimmy Fallon-adorned ice cream was some space metal, and to hell if your dad really thinks that's going to curve the urge.

For the next hour, you ran around the house like a lunatic looking for a weak point. Maybe your father missed just one spot—one tiny spot in this prison he calls a home. A small hole fit for the size of a mouse teased you. Sure, you control all the atoms around you but your own? You'd never even attempted to entertain that idea, although the worst that could happen is you turn your body into a permanent pile of slop. That didn't sound too terrible when compared to being a basement dweller for the last 7 years. And it turns out it wasn't as bad as you'd thought; you melted your body down into a pile of liquid, slithering your way through the walls of your house before you were spit out from a hole in the bricks. The air on your skin cascaded goosebumps along your body; you honestly couldn't remember the last time you felt wind grace your skin or the sun illuminating off your shoulders.

You skipped happily toward the corner store, taking in every sound around you. The sound your feet made when they hit the pavement, the distant chatter of the locals crowding down the sidewalks, even the obnoxious sound of a car horn brought a smile to your face. You finally understood the saying, ‘the city that never sleeps.’ You reached the corner store, swinging the door open and prancing inside as if it were Disney World. Your happy fantasy faded as the man behind the register yelled at you to put some shoes on before walking into his store. You looked down, wiggling your free toes, with all the excitement of liquifying yourself to get a taste of the outside world, common societal rules had slipped your mind. “I um.. Just came to grab a pint of ice cream; I’ll be really quick, I promise.” You pleaded sheepishly, offering him a quick smile to butter him up a bit. He simply rolled his eyes in disgust and turned his back to you, mumbling something under his breath.

You made your way around the convenience store towards the dairy section when something, or rather someone, caught your attention. He looked tall, and even with a leather jacket on, you could tell he was huge. He had some silly-looking facial hair and even sillier-looking cat-ear-like hair, but man, he still looked good. Your eyes slowly traveled down his arms to his pants. Cute butt, you thought to yourself. He stifled a laugh before turning in your direction and saying, “Thank you.” He grumbled, turning back towards the beer cooler. “What?” You ask, heat rising to your cheeks once you realize you'd accidentally said that out loud. He didn't acknowledge you, just went back to scanning the cooler. You took that as a hint to keep moving, finally landing in front of the ice cream section and grabbing the last pint of your favorite ice cream. Carefully looking around to make sure nobody was watching you, you pulled the lid off and used your mutation to pull out all the atoms belonging to the anti-mutant poisons that were mixed in with the delicious sweet treat. Floating above the ice cream, you cautiously manipulated them into a different container of food and made your way back towards the front. What you didn't know was that the unfortunate corner store owner had been watching your freak act on the CCTV cameras the whole time.

Turning around one of the aisles, you had spotted two men in suits talking to the man upfront. You couldn't make out what was being said as they whispered, but watching him point to you using your mutation on the TV screen explained enough to you. You backed up slowly, trying to even your breaths out before you had a panic attack. You felt someone grab your shoulder, spinning you around into them. It was Mr. Cute Butt; he must be working with those suited men too. Your eyes go wide as you focus all your energy on him. You were attempting to melt him, freeing yourself from his grasp, but it wasn't working for some reason. He just stared at your brows laced together, trying to figure out what in the fuck were you doing. “You're going to shit yourself if you keep straining like that.” He whispered a low chuckle, following after.

You froze, looking up at the man with pleading eyes. “Please don't hurt me; I just wanted some ice cream. Please i'll leave right now, sir.” You rushed out searching his face for sympathy or remorse something in hopes he'd release his grasp on you. He looked confused at what you were saying to him as if you were speaking some foreign language, but that didn't last long once you two heard footsteps approaching you. “C’mon kid.” He grumbled out, dragging you by your arm, ducking in between the small isles towards the exit. “They're over here!” The man upfront yelled, and the mystery man beside you just groaned before scooping you up into his arms and rushing you out of the store. You both quickly fell into the crowd, blending into the sea of people that populated the streets of New York. As soon as you two were outside, he'd set you on your feet, his arm still gripping your wrist, dragging you through the city with him.

“I need to go home, sir; please don't hurt me. I'm so sorry.” You cried, tears adorning your cheeks as you pleaded with him; if your father knew what was transpiring at this very moment, you'd be toast. Absolutely never allowed outside your basement ever again; you could kiss the sun goodbye because you'll probably never see it again once he gets home. He ignored your pleas though as he pushed through the crowds to a parked motorcycle on the road. “Oh no, I am not getting on that thing.” You halted your movements, digging your heels into the ground. “Suit yourself, sweet cheeks.” He laughed at you dryly hopping onto the bike, “They'll find you eventually.” He kicked the stand up, revving the bike on. You looked through the crowd behind you, worry etching onto your face. Maybe he's right; maybe I should hop on that bike and ride it into the sunset with this beautiful specimen, or he's no better than those suited men and could ultimately be leading me to my death. “Just get on the fucking bike.” He growled at the sound of sirens roaring closer to you two.

Begrudgingly, you hopped onto the back of the bike, plopping the helmet latched behind you on your head. At this rate, your sure your dad is going to skin you alive and hang you up to dry. “Hang on tight, princess.” He turned around to smirk at you. You snaked your hands around his torso, and he took off, the force causing your face to smash into his back and your grip on him tightening. You were sure if you had been gifted some form of super strength, you would've popped his torso clean off his legs with how tight you were squeezing him. You attempted to give him directions back to your house, but he couldn't hear you and kept heading in the opposite direction. He totally could hear you too, but he was ignoring your requests to return you home.

The quick 15-minute drive felt like an eternity with how utterly petrified you were. Matter of fact, you were so scared, eyes clenched shut, arms squeezing all the oxygen out of his lungs, you hadn't even noticed that you'd arrived at your mystery destination. He pried your arms off him, causing you to open your eyes; you were in complete shock. A gorgeous castle-like building stood before you, surrounded by trees, and a long gravel driveway trailed in front of it. A voice broke you from your thoughts, but this sound didn't come from the man sitting in front of you; no, it appeared like it came straight from inside your head. 'Logan, would you please introduce me to your new friend? The voice sang through you, your head whipping around frantically to find the owner of these words. “C’mon, I got someone for you to meet.” The man in front of you finally spoke, helping you off the bike and placing the helmet back in its spot on the rear. He guided you through the mansion all the way to the back, stopping at two huge double wooden doors.

“Come in, please.” Rang the same voice you heard earlier, the double doors slowly opening before you to reveal a small, bald man sitting in a chair. “And who might this be, Logan?” He questioned, looking towards the big man next to you. Logan, huh, you thought to yourself, cute name and a cute butt. Logan awkwardly shifted beside you, the bald man sending a booming laugh throughout the room. “Oh my God.. Did I say that out loud?” You whispered heat rising to your cheeks once again. Ignoring you, Logan started explaining to the bald guy, whose name you quickly learned was Charles, what happened earlier. Logan had seen what you were doing in that small store—how you made some substance float out of the ice cream and back into another pint. He assumed you were attempting to do something similar to that when he had grabbed you, and you began shaking like a Chihuahua, yet all you could think about during their discussion of the previous events was how you never got to eat the ice cream you risked your whole life for. “So,” Charles spoke, directing his attention to you. “What can you do exactly? What were you doing with that ice cream?” He hummed his eyes, raking you up and down, studying all your features. hoping they might tell him about who you are.

You were fairly normal-looking; I mean, to the average human eye, they couldn't tell you apart from another human. You felt like a deer in headlights right now, though; you'd never been asked or questioned about your mutation. You never dared to speak about it aloud; hell, your dad wouldn't even let you use your powers ever; it's like he was ashamed of you. “I can... manipulate things, i guess.” You spoke quietly; it felt taboo to you to speak about this, like this was some intimate, inappropriate topic to discuss. “And what do you mean by that?” He mused, deeply interested in your mystery. “I’m not exactly sure, sir. I just know I can do this.” You focus your eyes on the pen sat upon his desk, watching it quickly fall into a liquid puddle. “Fascinating.” Charles smiled up at you, “Can you change it back?” You trained your eyes down on the mess you created, quickly blinking as it slowly morphed back into its original shape of a pen.

Charles laughed in amusement before clasping his hands together. “We have much to discuss, little one, but for now Logan will show you to a room you can rest in. We'll talk more tomorrow.” He nodded at you before Logan had turned around out the door. You took this as your sign to follow, doors shutting behind you both. He guided you up the stairs, stopping at a random white door and handing over a towel and toothbrush he'd picked up on the way to your room. “Just try and get some sleep.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he spoke. “I’m just up the hall if you need anything, i guess.” He nodded his head in the direction of his door. You just smiled, turning around into your room and softly closing your door.

You had no clue where the fuck you were or what these strange men were planning to do with you. You've heard the horror stories from your dad about how the government would poke and prod you if anyone knew what you could do. you'd be a test subject for rich white males to toy and play with. You'd set the towel and toothbrush down on a chair in the room you were assigned and slowly stalked your way to the bed. As you crawled into bed attempting to get some shut eye all that you could think to yourself was, "Man my dad is soo going to fucking kill me when he finds me."

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kpop---scenarios · 11 months ago

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Reckless (6)

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader

Genre: Brothers Best Friend

Warning: Smut, sadness [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT READ]

Word Count: 1.9k

Taglist: @hyunjinhoexxx @ovulatingrn @jisunglyricist @guiltycoco @fawnpeaks @purple-bell @caught-in-the-afterglow @ana-marais98 @rylea08 @astraystayastayastray @partyparty-yah @skzswife @sillyhal @feellikecinderella @asphalstead @minh0scat @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @chanbahng29 @blackbluerose666 @mmarusa

@seungminsapuppy

“Y/N?” You hear. “Y/N! Are you okay?” A voice asks. You slowly open your eyes, expecting to see Jisung and Jisoo around you but you're not home. You scramble to sit up, looking around your surroundings, this wasn't right. Was it all a dream? You look over, Hyunjin sits there, looking at you worriedly.

“I.. this isn't right? I was home? I have to call Jisung.” You say panicking.

As you grab your phone to dial, there's a frantic knock at the door.

“Y/N.. please..” you hear a familiar voice gasp. You get up, running to the door, unlocking it before ripping it open. Minho stands there, holding his stomach. Blood gushing from a wound, his shirt soaked.

“What happened!?” You cry as he collapses into your arms. “Jisung.. he found out.” He gasps. Tears fall from your eyes, you're sobbing over his body, you can't breathe. “Please Minho.. Please.. don't die, I love you please don't die.”

You gasp. You shoot up, sweat pouring from your body as tears continue to spill. Your chest is heaving as you replay the dream inside a dream you had just experienced. You were still on the couch at Hyunjin's. You look at your phone, it was 7:30am the next day.

Fuck. That means you never went home, you didn't have an argument with Minho, he never confessed to Jisung that he was in love with you. None of it was real. Fuck.

Hyunjin walks out of his room. “Good morning.” He laughs. “I thought you were gonna go grab some stuff yesterday?” He asks.

“I was.. but I guess I fell asleep.” You sigh.

“Are you okay? It sounded like you were having some weird dreams.” He says.

“Yeah.. something like that.” You whisper. “I'm gonna get ready and we can go to class.” You say.

The entire morning you felt off. Those dreams had really fucked you up and you felt like you couldn't tell what was real and what was a dream. It currently felt like you were in a dream, and you very well could be but you'd never know. Hyunjin had asked you if you wanted to grab lunch but you had no appetite at all. You couldn't focus, you couldn't stop thinking about that fucking dream. You walked through the halls with your head down, until you stopped in your tracks. Your stomach got butterflies. You looked up, seeing Minho standing there. You hadn't realized how much you had missed him until this very moment. How much you desperately wanted him at this very moment. You walked up to him, your fingertips grazing his cheek.

“You're real.” You whisper. You grab his wrist, pulling him with you, taking him into the first unoccupied classroom. You closed the door, locking it behind you.

“What is going on with you?” Minho asks. “You've ignored me for a month..” he pauses. You drop your books, walking up to him, crashing your lips onto his. He drops his books, wrapping one arm around you and one around your head, pulling you in closer to him. Your mouths move together, he slides his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You both were sloppy, so needy for each other. You missed him so fucking much. You move your hands down, fumbling with the button on his jeans. You finally undo it, pulling the zipper down and his pants just enough to release his cock. You grab it with your hand, gently stroking him as he moans into your mouth. You can feel his cock harden in your hands, and that made you so wet.

Minho spins the two of you around, backing you into the wall. He pulls down your pants and underwear, you take them off, kicking them away from you. You jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Minho lines himself up with you, slowly pushing his cock inside of you. It had been so long, it sent shivers down your spine as he filled you up.

“Fuck.” He hisses, pushing himself all the way inside of you. “You feel so good around my cock.”

“Move.” You gasp. You needed him to fuck you, so hard. Minho starts to thrust, snapping his hips hard enough to push his cock in so deep into you.

“I fucking missed you so much.” He breathes into your ear. Your heart melts at his words, you wrap your arms around him even tighter, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. He thrusts faster, the he's rubbing against your clit with every thrust, it feels so fucking good. You turn your head, your lips brushing up against his ear.

“I'm gonna cum.” You whimper just before your orgasm takes over. You moan loudly as pleasure flows through your body and your eyes roll back. You clench your cunt around him, making him moan louder and thrust faster. He wasn't far behind you, his orgasm hitting him seconds later. “Fuck.” He gasps as he cums, spilling his warm liquid deep inside you.

He holds you for a second, before you unwrap your legs from him and he pulls out of you. You quickly get your underwear and your pants back on as he buttons up his pants, fixing himself up.

“Wow.” He chuckles.

“Did you mean it?” You ask, you need to know.

“Mean what?” He asks, fixing his hair.

“Did you miss me? When you said you missed me, did you mean it?” You wonder.

“I mean yeah, the house has been quiet without you. Why have you been gone so long? And why were you ignoring me?” He asks.

“Are you still with Maya?” You ask, ignoring his questions.

“Kinda.. I guess.” He sighs. “I'm not really into it though. I'm interested in someone else.”

You perk up immediately. Interested in someone else, that person had to be you. He smiles at you, staring at your face. He looks like he wants to tell you something, like he wants to tell you that it's you. But then he turns scared.

“You know Rose? Yeah, I'd like to start talking to her.” He whispers. He knew what you were hoping his answer would be. He so desperately wanted to tell you that it was you but he knew how wrong he had been in sleeping with you, refusing to acknowledge his feelings and telling Jisung. He couldn't. Not after Jisung had explicitly said that you were off limits. He wanted you to hate him, he wanted you to forget him because you deserved so much more than he could give you but he was addicted to you, just like you were to him.

Tears spill down your cheeks, you sniffle, trying to hold them in but you're failing miserably. “Fuck you.” You snap. You grab your books, unlock the door to storm out. You didn't think he'd chase you but he did.

“Y/N!” He yells. People stop to stare. “Please. Can I explain?” He asks.

“Explain what, exactly?” You snap.

“You've done nothing but hurt me these last few months, and yeah maybe it's my fault because I let you. Because I was so fucking with you that I wanted anything I could get from you. But you refuse to tell me how you really feel just because you're scared of my brother and his reaction?” You scoff.

“I'm not allowed to love you! Okay? I'm not supposed too, but I fucking do. I can't breathe when you're not around me, but it can't happen. I can't keep fucking betraying my best friend like this. I'm going to tell him. I'll tell him everything, but this.” He pauses, pointing to you and himself. “Is done. It's not happening anymore. When I tell him, I have to tell him it's over.”

“Are you going to tell him you love me?” You cry.

Minho looks at the ground.

“No. I can't.” He whispers.

“Then it doesn't sound like you ever loved me.” You snap, storming away. You were done. You were done with school right now, everything. You wanted to curl in a ball and do nothing and that's what you did. You went to Hyunjin's and you knew he wasn't home. You packed up your belongings, you had intruded on his life long enough. You took your stuff and went back home. You walked in the door, tears stained on your face.

“Y/N?” Jisung says, looking shocked that you were here. “What's wrong?” He asks. You drop your belongings, your head hangs low, as you sob. Jisung rushes towards you, wrapping his arms around you.

“What happened?” He asks.

“I.. I can't tell you.” You cry.

“You can tell me anything.” He whispers, rubbing your back.

“I've been.. sleeping with..” you take a deep breath. You can do this. “Minho.” You whisper.

His hand freezes on the middle of your back. “Like.. my best friend Minho?” He asks.

“Yes.” You cry, you're sobbing even harder than before.

“Okay, okay, shhh. It's gonna be okay.” He whispers. “What happened? Was he mean to you?”

“He has been. He says it's because he knew it was so wrong and he was betraying you. He said he loves me but he knows he's not allowed to.” You sniffle.

“Why don't you go and lay down for a bit.” He says. “Just go rest. I'll deal with this.”

“What are you gonna do?” You ask, picking up your bag.

“Don't worry about that. Just go on.” He half smiles.

As you go upstairs to your room, Jisung sits back on the couch, resuming his show. You can only imagine how much anger is flowing through him right now. You put your stuff down and instead of unpacking you lay down in your bed. You needed to shower but fuck you were exhausted. You must have fallen asleep for a bit, because you woke up to the front door slamming. You knew it was Minho.

Jisung stands up, glaring at his best friend.

“Jisung.” Minho sighs. “I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah? That's funny, cause I need to fucking talk to you.” Jisung snaps. Minho drops his bag and books, walking closer to Jisung.

“You talked to Y/N?” Minho asks.

“Well yeah. When my little sister comes home sobbing, I tend to talk to her.” Jisung says.

“She was crying?” Minho whispers. His heart sinks. He hated himself so much.

“Yep.” Jisung says before making a fist and swinging. He hits Minho in the face, knocking him back.

“Fuck man.” Minho yells, holding his face. “I deserved that.”

“You deserve a lot fucking worse!” Jisung yells, walking over to Minho. He grabs the collar of his shirt, pulling him close. “The only fucking reason I'm not killing you right now is because she loves you and she told me that you love her too. Is that true?” He asks.

Minho nods his head. “I fucking do! How could I not?” He yells.

“Then make it fucking right.” Jisung yells, pushing Minho back.

“How? After everything, how can I make it right with her? She'll never forgive me.” He says, as you walk down the stairs.

“In the words of Olivia Pope.” You begin. “If you want me, earn me.” You say. Minho looks at you with pleading eyes. He can see your face is puffy and eyes are red from crying.

You start walking back up the stairs, turning to look back at him one last time, glaring directly into his eyes. You say one last thing to him before turning the corner.

“Asshole.”

If he really loves you like he says he does, he'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.

#straykidsland #Neverendingdreams-net #lee know smut #minho smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #lee know fanfic #lee know imagines #lee know writing #kpop fanfic #kpop writing #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop icons #kpop smut #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #skz imagines #stray kids imagines

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lizzy06 · 9 months ago

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Kirishima Eijirou x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/Ao3/Wattpad)

My Hero Academia Fic Rec Masterlist

Kirishima Eijirou Fic Rec Masterlist

Real Enough; Pro Hero Kirishima x Reader ✨by rjbaxter (angst, fluff, smut)Your quirk allows you to show people a part of their future. Once seen, you can help guide them through important life decisions to an extent. Pro Hero Red Riot saves your life one day and gets hit with your quirk. He sees his future and hopes he can make it real. This will be a slow burn with angst, fluff and smut.[COMPLETED]

baby are you playing tricks? (cause you look like a treat)✨✨ by @andypantsx3/ andypantsx3 (oneshot, fluff , humor and skippable smut at end for sfw readers!) Dressing up as sexy Red Riot for Halloween had been embarrassing enough on its own. Then you actually run into Red Riot.[COMPLETED]

Good things come to those who wait ✨by @dira333 / Fogfire (oneshot, fluff)Falling in love at first sight, but never getting a chance to act on it. Until…[COMPLETED]

Care for me✨ by @dira333/Fogfire(oneshot, fluff)You're there to care for your boyfriend after his wisdom teeth get removed. That's it, that's the fic.[COMPLETED]

sweet like you ✨by @ererokii (oneshot, fluff)Class 1-A decides to help a local animal shelter by doing a bake sale, and you and Kirishima are in charge of the baking.[COMPLETED]

Soulmate AU Series: Eijiro Kirishima✨ by @confusedblakex (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)The day you get your soulmark, except you didn’t find your soulmate the way you expected. [COMPLETED]

A life with you… ✨by @lelawrites (oneshot, soulmate au, mentions of past bullying, slight angst, fluff) In a world filled soulmates that couldn’t see colour without making eye contact, your quirk made people able to do so and it made your life hell. That is, until you meet your own soulmate.

BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 7: Running from Pain✨ by @writing-freak (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) in a world where you feel every ounce of pain your soulmate has, you spend your entire childhood trying to keep your soulmate safe, and it seems like they have the same idea. that is, of course, until you’re off to the support course at UA, and find yourself in all sorts of trouble. you don’t feel so bad, though, cause whatever your soulmate is up to seems to be creating the same amount of pain for you as you’re creating for them.

Pretty/tumblr link ✨by @alkhale/alkhale(oneshot, fluff) Two times Kirishima Eijirou tries to shout to the world how beautiful you are. And the one time he says it.[COMPLETED]

Paws for Panic ✨by Hero234(oneshot, fluff)When chaos strikes and quirks collide, one innocent collision turns pro hero Red Riot into an adorable red puppy! Little does (Y/n) know, that the newly turned pup is none other than her favorite hero, and he understands more than he lets on. Unaware of the puppy's true identity, (Y/n) spends the day pampering her fluffy victim.[COMPLETED]

𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐈𝐌𝐀! ⏤EIJIRO KIRISHIMA ✨by DollReMi (single parent! reader, fluff, angst) As a single parent, you struggle to play the role of mother and father for your son, Ren. However, you don't have to stress for too long when the same pro hero your son adores comes to your rescue in the most unexpected way.[COMPLETED]

A Helping Hand✨ by WitchofWriting(oneshot, fluff) Kirishima basically lives at the gym. His kindness - which to him is just common decency - catches someone's attention.[COMPLETED]

Red✨ by coffeerepublic(oneshot, fluff)You help your friend with dyeing his hair. (The complementary feelings come free of charge.)[COMPLETED]

Last Minute by @flannel-cladpika (oneshot, fluff) Where you tell your feelings to Eijirou kinda last minute.[COMPLETED]

Find What You're Seeking ✨by coffeerepublic(oneshot, fluff)For now, all you were able to register was Eijirou, and yourself, and the negligibly small amount of space between you that seemed wider than the distance between stars.[COMPLETED]

Mistakes Were Made by itbeajen(oneshot, coffee shop au, fluff) Making drinks for a group of people was hard. Especially since orders were confusing and it was highly likely that a mistake could be made. But maybe this mistake in particular was a godsend for the future.[COMPLETED]

The Pizza Delivery Guy by iluveggs(oneshot, college au, fluff) Your roommate orders a pizza with the special instructions, “send your cutest delivery boy ;)” and you’re left in complete awe when it actually works.[COMPLETED]

Perfect ✨by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, hurt/comfort) You weren’t trying to be problematic– really you weren’t. Most of your complaints arose in regards to a single volatile topic.[COMPLETED]

Third Wheel ✨by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, fluff) You squint and try to find him, but there’s only a dim outline of his form in the darkness. “Where’s Eiji with the sn–” You don’t get the chance to finish your question.[COMPLETED]

Manly Things✨ by @bnhascribbles (oneshot, fluff, hurt/comfort)“It’s not your fault.” You whisper it like a prayer. Then you repeat it, punctuating each reiteration with a kiss to his cheek, his nose, his chin. Still, you can tell he doesn’t believe you.[COMPLETED]

Dibs by @bnhascribbles (oneshot, fluff) No. You shoot him a cautionary glare, just daring him to try and do what you suspect he wants to. His lips twist upward, and soon he has a toothy grin spanning the entirety of his face. No.[COMPLETED]

Better Late Than Never by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, musical au, friends to lovers, fluff)Not that you need more with Kirishima. Friendship is fine. Friendship is awesome. Sure, that intense look he gets whenever he practices makes something curl up on itself deep in your belly. Sure, whenever he gives you one of those playful pats on the back, you wish he would linger for just a little bit longer.[COMPLETED]

Sick Days by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, hurt/comfort, fluff)You were a mess–a sniffling, wheezing mess. Not that Kirishima didn’t think you were drop-dead gorgeous, snot and all. But really, you looked sick. Very sick.[COMPLETED]

Waiting by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, hurt/comfort) You hold your breath, half-expecting another call. It never comes. Those three little dancing dots–the ones that tell you a person is typing–stay there for at least five minutes. The message you finally get back, however, is short. b there in 10. [COMPLETED]

Walls by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, mentions of past abuse, hurt/comfort) When had you begun to trust him enough to let him past that wall of yours?[COMPLETED]

“i’d do anything for you” by @bakugohoex (oneshot, fluff)in which kirishima helps you throughout the day and you finally ask him why he’s always so nice to you, gaining a response you’d never had expected. [COMPLETED]

“if you win, i’ll take you out tonight” by @bakugohoex (oneshot, fluff) in which you’re performing at the ua pageant and get a surprised visit from kirishima with a proposal in mind. [COMPLETED]

Love Handles ✨by terminally_Volatile(oneshot, chubby! insecure reader, fluff, humor) Kirishima Eijirou is known throughout U.A. for his unwavering enthusiasm, amazing use of his quirk, and (mostly amongst the ladies) his incredible physique. He captures the hearts of many young girls who swoon for his attention, but what will they say when they see the human piece of rock dating someone his complete opposite? A girl made of soft skin and big thighs? [COMPLETED]

sunlight ✨by @bluebellhairpin (oneshot, fluff, fantasy au)As a dark fae, Kirishima has a kind soul but a wary heart so as to not make others afraid. You, a light pixie, bring him out of his shell like a moth to flame. [COMPLETED]

Soulmate by @pink-imagines (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) A red string, tied around your pinky finger. Everyone had one. They led to the person that you were going to spend the rest of your lif with. You other half. Your soulmate.[COMPLETED]

infinity by @k-atsukidayo (oneshot, angst, soulmate au)summary: kirishima struggles to tell his soulmate that they only have a month left to live. based off of this song.[COMPLETED]

words by @confusedblakex (oneshot, soulmate au, angst with happy ending) Kirishima always wondered why he had no words on his wrist, but when he meets you it all makes sense.[COMPLETED]

“I can’t keep kissing people and pretend that they’re you!” by @your-local-bnha-writer (oneshot, angst with happy ending) [COMPLETED]

Unexpected Surprise by @sparkexplosive (oneshot, unplanned pregnancy, angst, fluff) Dear Eijirou, I’m so sorry, but we can’t be together anymore. [COMPLETED]

When Kirishima Snaps by @explosivenebula (oneshot, protective! kiri) Mineta approaches you once again with his crude language and unnecessary proposals. Kirishima gives a firm impression that he’s not happy, but finally snaps when Mineta refuses to cease his advances, and takes things too far.[COMPLETED]

Kirishima Period Comfort by Frozen_Princess_Shay(oneshot, fluff) our period cramps are trying to kill you. Ejiro noticing something is wrong starts to worry.[COMPLETED]

oranges by wagiyuubeef (ABO verse, fluff, angst, jealousy)You've been by his side for as long as you can remember — from way before either of you even presented — but now it felt like you were slowing losing him to another Alpha who went by the name of Bakugou Katsuki. Or were you?[COMPLETED]

legacy by moegan(oneshot, arrange marriage, fluff, angst, smut)After an arranged marriage to the Prince of Dragons, Kirishima Eijirou, you decide you do not want to live your life in a loveless relationship, so you attempt to get to know him. After some time, you realize that he was keeping something very important from you. How are you supposed to help him if he won’t come clean?[COMPLETED]

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ofoceansandtombsanew · 2 years ago

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the summer moon was born from the waves to be loved (gojo x reader)

or, you got pregnant and the ghost of university days past finds out five years later.

tags: afab!reader (she/her), mentions of pregnancy, sometimes self-care is writing a fic with a messy premise, unbeta’d i’ll go back and fix things i just want this out of my drafts

AO3 || pt 2