#and have 7 classes in a day????? and none of those classes were at all related to each other??????

[jnnul]

if i say...i love you!

a/n: i saw the if i say i love you trailer and i am a CHANGED WOMAN. was going to make this for taesan but there aren't enough loser leehan fics out there. cranked this out in one day so if there any grammatical errors, pls let me know <3 quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

word count: 7.4k

tags: high school au!, losers in love, leehan is referred to donghyun, dongmin is a character accurate loser + menace, jihyo han/jihan best girl!, the bnd boys are chaotic and stupid, leehan is in LOVE, warnings: none!

THERE'S A FAT CHANCE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO ACCEPT KIM DONGHYUN'S CONFESSION.

at least, this is what han dongmin says when donghyun lays out his plan in front of his best friend.

"why?" donghyun whines, looking down at his hasty scribbles on his blueprint. "what's wrong with the plan?"

dongmin rolls his eyes, not even looking down at the blueprint (which donghyun had literally drawn out his plan on blue paper to make the entire situation more official - but dongmin just thinks its childish, if not a little adorable) as he pads into the kitchen to grab a snack.

"well for starters, i'm fairly sure that y/n can't read what you've written," dongmin says, two packets of goldfish richer when he returns.

donghyun frowns as he looks down at the paper before groaning, realizing that the hieroglyphics he'd written in place of legible letters were definitely far from interpretation.

"what do i do?" donghyun bemoans, dragging out each syllable. "by the time i work up the courage to confess to her again, we'll all be senior citizens instead seniors in high school!"

dongmin snorts before finally giving the 'blueprint' a solid look to decipher exactly what donghyun's plan was.

"your plan is to get down on your knees before first period and ask her out in front of the entire class with - are those chocolates or suspiciously small grenades? - chocolates and flowers? and you think that she's going to be first of all, comfortable with this and second of all, willing to say yes?" dongmin shakes his head, shoving a handful of goldfish into his mouth. "even if she does have feelings for you, she'll probably say no just because of this plan."

donghyun lets out another groan as he lays on the floor, cursing his luck. when he'd run the plan by jaehyun, the older had said that it was the perfect plan. although, if myung jaehyun thought that this was a good way to ask someone out, that really should've been donghyun's first sign of danger.

"also did you even need an entire sketch for this? i mean, it seems pretty straightforward," dongmin says, barely dodging assault by very well aimed marker.

"well, if you're done snarking on my plan, can't you help me figure out how to ask her out?" donghyun says, flipping over to serve dongmin his killer move - puppy eyes. the motion is clearly lost on dongmin when he just shovels more goldfish into his mouth but after a painfully long moment of chewing dongmin moves from the couch to the floor.

"alright, alright, fine...here's what you're gonna do..."

TRIAL ONE: DONGMIN'S PLAN

"hey jihyo," donghyun says casually, nodding to you as he spoke with your best friend, han jihyo. it was 7:30 in the morning and while donghyun usually couldn't be bothered to woken up before 7:45 in the morning (when he would eventually be yelled at by his mother and then scramble to get to school), he felt surprisingly excited to get up early in the morning to get to the school.

jihyo looks at donghyun confusedly as she takes her seat right next to you, where you had your textbooks open in front of you, just like he knew you would. "hey donghyun. what's up?"

donghyun shrugs, trying his best not to look at you scribbling away as he converses with jihyo. "nothing much. i was just wondering if you were busy later today? dongmin got us tickets to watch a movie but our friends dropped out."

"which movie?" jihyo asks, eyes sparking up at the mention of donghyun's best friend.

"uh..." donghyun wracks his brain, trying to come up with a movie name on the spot. dongmin hadn't prepared him enough! "interstellar?"

"are you asking me or telling me?" jihyo says, just barely suppressing her laugh. next to her, you look like you're in a similar situation, eyes bright and sparkly with the efforts to not completely laugh in his face.

while donghyun would usually take this in a win in itself, he decided to push his luck just a bit further. "i'm telling you; it's dongmin's favorite movie."

he pretends to ignore the subtle elbow jab that you offer to jihyo, fighting down the corners of his lips that keep creeping upwards. perhaps this plan could help donghyun and dongmin - two birds one stone. even if in this situation, dongmin was completely oblivious to jihyo's affections...

"yeah, i'm free later on," jihyo says before turning to you, her hair covering her face so donghyun can't see her facial expression as she's speaking with you. "you're free too, right y/n? you're coming with us?"

"i mean, i am free but i don't want to intrude. we don't even know if dongmin has enough tickets," you point out, a little shy as you look anywhere but donghyun and jihyo - which is a little hard considering that jihyo is practically in your face and donghyun is a good two meters tall (or at least, that's what it feels like).

"i have tickets," dongmin says, announcing his presence with an arm slung around donghyun's shoulder.

"perfect! so then we'll meet you guys in the courtyard at the end of school," jihyo says, fluttering her eyelashes not so subtly at the sight of the large man currently dangling off of donghyun.

he flashes an 'ok' sign as the two boys make their way to the back of the classroom, dongmin snickering at donghyun's dazed expression.

neither of them realize that you've turned around in your seat, a soft look in your eyes as you steal glances at donghyun.

+++

"i hate you," donghyun mutters under his breath. dongmin slaps his forehead with the heel of his palm, staring at the tickets in his other hand.

"you didn't exactly give me enough time to secure four tickets to interstellar of all movies," dongmin hisses, turning to flash a sweet smile to jihyo and you, waiting in the line patiently for some popcorn as the boys stood outside the theatre.

"well you didn't prepare me with a movie name! i did the best i could," donghyun whispers back, pulling dongmin to the side when an older couple tries to enter the theatre behind them.

"yes, and now look. we've got four tickets scattered across the hall," dongmin says, waving the tickets in donghyun's face.

donghyun sighs, running a hand through his hair as he tries to figure out a solution to the situation.

"what if we just bounce and do something else? there's no point in watching the movie if we're all gonna be on opposite sides of the theatre," donghyun says and dongmin frowns, looking down at the tickets once more.

"wait wait...there's two seats that are next to each other. it's just the other two that are on the opposite sides of the theatre," dongmin says, pointing out the seat numbers on the tickets.

"so y/n and i will sit in those seats, and then you and jihyo will sit on opposite sides of the theatre?" donghyun asks, reaching out to grab the tickets when dongmin draws his hand back quickly, holding them out of reach.

"what happened?" you ask, voice soft and gentle as you and jihyo walk up to the boys with arms filled with popcorn and soft drinks.

donghyun and dongmin exchange a look before handing over the tickets sheepishly. jihyo takes the tickets with furrowed brows after handing over (dumping) the soft drinks in dongmin's arms.

"hm. okay, give me one sec, i'll text you guys," she says somewhat mysteriously before disappearing into the theatre where trailers were playing.

"uh...i feel like one of us should go with her," donghyun says before pushing dongmin through the door behind her. the bewildered look on his face is quickly covered by the doors that cover him in darkness.

the giggle that leaves your mouth might as well been a choir of angels by the way that donghyun feels weak in the knees, unable to tear his away from your frame.

"here, let me hold that," donghyun says, gently taking the larger than life tub of popcorn from your arms. you thank him shyly, tugging your jacket over your shoulders.

"do you remember the last time we watched a movie together?" you ask, a faint warmth in your cheeks. donghyun nods, tossing a kernel of popcorn into his mouth.

"i've learned that you should be kept far far away from horror movies," donghyun says cheekily. you pout, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"no one warned me that there would be that many jump scares," you complain, chewing on a piece of popcorn.

"i remember how you were shaking while the murderer was searching the house," donghyun laughs, dodging when you reach out to slap his arm. "you wouldn't let go of my arm until the murderer was put in a jail cell."

you clear your throat, trying to will away the heat that was building on your nape and cheeks. "interstellar doesn't have any jump scares does it?"

you look up to meet donghyun's eyes, only to realize that they're already looking into yours. big, bright, sparkly and looking at you as if he's trying to commit every detail about you to memory.

"no, no jump scares," he says softly, and suddenly you get the feeling that you're stumbling into a territory you've never explored before as he draws closer to you.

"um, that's good," you whisper, the moment suddenly too intimate to speak. donghyun looks at you for just a second too long before stepping back when there's a buzz in your pocket.

"dongmin and jihyo?" he asks, shoveling more popcorn into his mouth before you walked in, knowing that dongmin was prone to eating everything in sight when watching movies.

you nod, reading the text message out loud. "jihyo somehow convinced two people to switch seats so we've got seats all next to each other."

"cool. let's head inside then," donghyun says, the warmth of his body leaving yours. he pauses just before he enters the dark theatre, looking at you with a soft smile.

"and y/n? even if there aren't any jump scares, feel free to hold onto my arm."

+++

"what happened afterwards?" kim woonhak asks, sprawled out on park sungho's bed. sungho reaches over to smack him on the arm when woonhak opens up a bag of cheetos, only to spill them all over his bed.

"nothing, obviously. the fool started getting so into the movie that that's all he would talk about for a good hour before y/n said she had to go home and study," dongmin says, slapping donghyun upside the head when donghyun starts to contest his recollection of the situation.

"you're really stupid," lee sanghyeok says, accepting the packet of haribo gummy bears that jaehyun throws in his general direction.

"sure. but this is all because i listened to dongmin's idea. i was supposed to ask her out at the end of the movie in some weird, complicated speech that dongmin came up with," donghyun protests.

"see, that's your issue," sanghyeok says, wincing when woonhak rips the head off of a gummy bear as he eats it. "i don't know why you'd listen to the least romantic person in this room about how to ask a girl out."

"then what do you think i should do?" donghyun asks.

"well, as the only person out all of you fools with a girlfriend, here's what i think you should do," sanghyeok starts, holding up an ipad with a drawing on it.

"when the two of you are cleaning the classroom after classes..."

TRIAL TWO: SANGHYEOK'S PLAN

"uh, what do you mean that y/n's sick?" donghyun says dumbfoundedly. jihyo gives him a weird look as she continues to take down two copies of notes, confirming that y/n is most definitely not at school.

"i mean that she's sick. she caught something from her brother. she's not coming to school today," jihyo repeats, staring at her notes for a moment before continuing to write again.

"oh," donghyun says defeatedly, thanking jihyo before heading to the back of the classroom. dongmin appears in the doorway of the classroom not even two minutes later, lollipop in his mouth as he drops one on jihyo's desk before heading to the back of the classroom to sit down next to donghyun.

jihyo twists in her seat. "this is y/n's favorite flavor. i'll give it to her later when i drop off some soup my dad's making her."

"you're going to y/n's house?" donghyun asks, leaning forward on his elbows, looking like he was pretty close to toppling over the desk and onto the student in front of him.

"uh, yeah." donghyun scrambles out of his seat to head over to the front of the classroom where jihyo was sitting.

"can i come with you?" donghyun asks. jihyo looks at him strangely for a moment before craning her neck to dongmin behind him. it seems whatever she sees is enough to convince her because she nods after a beat of silence.

"sure. you can come too. i'm heading over after we clean the classroom," jihyo says, nodding over to where dongmin was sitting and thumbing through his phone with earbuds in. "bring dongmin too."

"why?" donghyun questions with an innocent expression, backing off when jihyo fixes him with an unimpressed look.

"consider it a favor exchange. my friend for yours."

+++

"you know what, i thought sanghyeok's idea was stupid anyway," sungho says over the phone. donghyun can vaguely hear the sound of weights being lifted and dropped and he figures that his college going friend was likely at the gym when donghyun had emergency called him with a need for a new plan.

"so what do you think i should do? i mean, i only have a couple minutes until jihyo comes out of her house after picking up the soup. how do i come up with a plan in the next three minutes?" donghyun asks worriedly, shoving dongmin away when he sees that dongmin's dangerously close to his phone, trying to figure exactly what sungho was saying on the other end.

"well, clearly food is out of the picture, since you don't have time and because you're a walking hazard when it comes to anything related to a stove," sungho says, more to himself than to donghyun.

"if you could come up with a way to help without snarking on my cooking skills, that would be highly appreciated," donghyun says drily, winding up to kick dongmin when he starts snickering from where he's leaned up against the wall.

"alright, alright. here's what you do, alright? first, when you get to her house..."

TRIAL THREE: SUNGHO'S PLAN

"you've seriously never been to tokyo?" dongmin asks incredulously, his hands shoved in his pockets. jihyo shakes her head, setting down the soup from where she'd just reheated it on your stove.

your parents were out of town on a business trip and according to what she knew about your brother, jihyo figured that park sunghoon was out frolicking around in the snowy streets with his own friends.

"i've never been on a plane before," jihyo explains, satisfied with the heat of the soup finally. dongmin just shrugs, looking around your house with a renewed interest when donghyun pads out of your room to where the other two were standing in the kitchen.

"is she still sleeping?" jihyo asks, trying the soup herself. donghyun nods, rubbing his hands to create some friction and warm them up.

"yeah. she seems to be waking up but i think that she's still pretty out of it right now," donghyun explains before picking up the container of soup. "do you think that you can bring the paracetamol? it looks like y/n has a pretty bad headache."

"how can you tell she has a headache?" dongmin asks, his question turning to a whisper when jihyo looks at him with a withering glare.

"it's called having empathy, han dongmin," jihyo calls out, looking for the paracetamol in one of the medicine cabinets.

"empathy? i have plenty of empathy," dongmin says under his breath sullenly as he follows jihyo into your bedroom.

you're laying in bed, curled up in carefully laid covers, clearly donghyun's work by the way he's examining the bedspread with rather severe scrutiny, as if he's willing the hearts on your bedspread would turn into mini heaters to provide warmth to your sick and tired body. your eyebrows are furrowed, even in your sleep, as though you were fighting away the illness with a physical weapon with effort.

"y/n? you gotta wake up soon. sunghoon said you've been sleeping for hours and that you haven't eaten anything yet," jihyo says, setting the paracetamol down on your nightstand.

"yeah, where is sunghoon anyway?" dongmin asks, watching as donghyun wakes you gently, offering you a smile so sweet, even dongmin feels himself swooning.

"gallivanting on the streets. he's still sick himself but there's no containing the man," you explain, sitting up in your bed. you somehow don't seem all that alarmed that there are so many foreign people in your room, looking worse for the wear.

"here's soup. don't worry, i didn't make it - jihyo's dad did," donghyun says softly, handing the bowl of soup over with so much care, it seemed as though he were handling a live grenade.

you let out a mellow laugh, coughing at the effort as you accept the bowl of soup, letting out a blissful sigh after sipping a spoonful. "tell your dad i said thank you, ji."

jihyo just waves you off, unzipping her backpack to search for her other copy of notes. "here are the notes from today. the biology lecture really gave me a headache so i wouldn't even try to decipher that until you feel better unless you want to feel like a tightrope walker with an anvil on your head."

"that's...really descriptive," dongmin says, laughing when jihyo shoves him.

"i can help you," donghyun says, watching you carefully as you take another sip of soup, thankful for the liquid warming you up from the inside.

"you're willing to sit with me to study biology? are you sure that you don't think it'll be a bother?" you ask, looking up at donghyun through your lashes. donghyun's breath catches in his throat when you do. somehow, even with a runny nose, mussed hair, and granny pajamas, donghyun thinks you look like the vision of beauty.

"it's not a bother to me. spending time with you could never be a bother," donghyun says offhandedly, looking at the label on the paracetamol. it's only when the entire room goes silent does he realize that he'd spoken out loud.

he looks around nervously for a moment before his eyes land on you, staring at him, bright-eyed and every inch the reason why donghyun has trouble sleeping at night these days.

"i mean, you're my friend, right? why would it be a bother to spend time with your friend?" donghyun backtracks and he hears jihyo and dongmin let out a breath behind him. you still look somewhat confused before you nod slowly, finishing your soup.

"friend, right."

+++

"you were at her house and you still fucked it up," woonhak laments, wincing when jaehyun chucks a pillow at him.

"language," the older boy says before flopping on sungho's bed next to woonhak.

"why do you delinquents always have to come to my room? can't we ever hang out in sanghyeok or jaehyun's room? or better yet, why can't we ever hang out at your guys' houses?" sungho complains, but he still sits down next to jaehyun, shoving the two boys a little bit over to make space for himself.

"because your room is the cleanest," sanghyeok points out, never looking up from the homework he was working on at sungho's desk.

"yeah, unfortunately sanghyeok's room is currently serving another purpose," jaehyun snorts.

"what, as a pigsty?" dongmin quips, a smirk drawn out on his lips when sanghyeok fixes him with a thoroughly unimpressed look.

"all of you are useless," donghyun wails, swatting sungho's hands away from his hair. "i've been trying to confess to her for a good week and a half now and all i've managed to do is make a fool out of myself three separate times."

"you didn't make a fool out of yourself, donghyun," woonhak comforts before jaehyun sits up from where he was scrolling on his phone, shaking his head.

"nope, he definitely did. the first time, when dongmin booked four separate tickets and jihyo had to save your ass so you could attempt to confess after the movie, just to ramble about physics and black holes for hours. and then when y/n never showed up to school so you couldn't confess to her while you were cleaning the classroom like sanghyeok suggested. and then when he couldn't even take care of her properly like sungho suggested while she was sick because he can't cook if his life depended on it." woonhak nods when jaehyun finishes his spiel, much to the horror of donghyun, who was now starfish on the floor, looking ready to throw a tantrum.

"yeah, i can see why she would think he's weird," woonhak says with an air of seriousness.

"you guys think she thinks i'm weird?" donghyun cries out dramatically.

"no, otherwise you wouldn't be going to the library together on sunday to go over biology," sanghyeok points out logically, flipping through the pages of his textbook with a crease in his forehead from focusing.

"see, the issue is that all three of those fools are way too subtle with their confessions. sungho's ideas especially was stupid," jaehyun says. "i mean seriously, telling her that you're half in love with her while she's gotta killer migraine must've been the stupidest idea i've ever heard."

"you thought that asking her out in front of the entire class was a good idea," dongmin reminds jaehyun, who just rolls his eyes.

"you guys have no sense of romance."

"i have a girlfriend."

"shut up, sanghyeok."

"damn, alright. i didn't realize all of you were that salty that you're single losers."

"SHUT UP SANGHYEOK!"

after sanghyeok has been served with enough slander for being an insufferable boy in love, woonhak and jaehyun turn to donghyun with twin expressions of evil on their faces.

"you need to man up, donghyun! here's how you tell her that you like her..."

TRIAL FOUR: JAEHYUN AND WOONHAK'S PLAN

"so the reason why this question is phrased this way is because you're supposed to focus on the oxygen affinity for fetuses versus adults based on this curve," donghyun explains patiently, pointing at various points on the diagram in front of him as he speaks.

you nod hesitantly as you follow his hand around the paper before ultimately shaking your head, slumping down on the table.

"i'm sorry donghyun, this entire thing might just end up being a waste of your time. i have no clue what any of this means," you mutter disheartenedly looking at donghyun.

donghyun just shakes his head, smiling as he closes the textbook and stretching. at the table over from the two of you, dongmin and jihyo are bickering about the best my chemical romance instead of studying for english like they'd promised when your teacher announced the upcoming exam on friday.

in the ideal world, dongmin and jihyo would be off being a cute couple (whether they realized it or not) somewhere where donghyun couldn't see them and be jealous but the effervescent feeling he gets from spending time with you is more than enough to douse that jealousy.

"you're shoving a lot of information into your brain. it's hard to get on the fiftieth try, much less the first," donghyun says gently, and you peek up at him, only to cast your gaze elsewhere when you realize just how overwhelming it is to look at him.

it's a warm feeling that spreads through your body as you realize that donghyun looks at you as though you may as well have put the stars in the sky personally for him.

funny. did he ever realize that you looked at him the same way?

but you're left to leave your thoughts with the disarray of papers when donghyun stands up, shrugging his jacket and scarf on.

"come on, let's go get you some coffee," he says, lifting up your jacket to hand it to you. you offer him a small smile as you put your jacket on, following him out of the library once he's stopped and dongmin and jihyo's table to ask them to watch your stuff.

"bring me back a latte!" you faintly hear jihyo whisper-shout, to which donghyun turns around to flash her a thumbs up before leading you out of the library.

the weather outside is surprisingly clear and warm for how much it's snowed over the past few days.

"you didn't put a scarf on?" donghyun chastises, unwrapping his own scarf and draping it around your neck. you try to protest, giving donghyun back his scarf but he just ignores you, expertly ducking and weaving as you try to drape the scarf back on him.

"you're going to get cold!" you exclaim, but you don't fight him when he wraps the scarf around your neck properly.

"you know, i wanted to be your friend since the day i saw you, back in middle school," donghyun says, his breath leaving his lips in clouds as the two of you walked the three blocks between the café and the library.

you wrack your brain, trying to recall the first time that you'd met donghyun. "i thought we met in high school, though? at jihyo's birthday party?"

donghyun just smiles, looking up at the clear skies. "that's when you first saw me. i saw you back in middle school."

"really?" you ask quietly, shocked by the knowledge that donghyun had been thinking about you in whichever capacity for so long.

"yeah. i remember you had braces back then but you still were the prettiest girl in class. you always used to be so quiet and kept to yourself but you were so sweet to everyone around you. i remember when jihyo found out that she was nearsighted, you used to write her notes for her every period until she got glasses. and then again, when she had lasik surgery," donghyun says casually, opening the café door as the two of you enter.

"you - you weren't even in our class," you say, shivering even in the warmth of the café. donghyun seems to notice, by the way that he draws closer to you - so close that you can see the faint freckle by his eye.

"no," he agrees simply. "but i knew anyway."

"you paid that much attention to me?" you ask incredulously. donghyun shrugs, nudging you forward when the person in front of you orders.

"i've always paid that much attention to you, y/n. i just don't think you ever paid that attention to me," donghyun says faintly. you feel weak in the knees at the insinuation, moving forward somewhat dazedly.

"a caramel macchiato, vanilla latte, an americano, and a hot ginger tea please," donghyun says, completely ignoring you when you offer your card to the cashier, swiping his quickly.

"you didn't have to buy coffee for me," you say, tucking your hair behind your ear. donghyun tilts his head, eyes forming little crescents at your gesture.

"hmm." the two of you find a table to sit at while you wait for your orders to come out before you turn to donghyun, curiosity blatant on your face.

"how did you know my coffee order?"

"like i said, y/n. i've noticed you for a while before you ever noticed me."

+++

"you had everything in place! why didn't you tell her about your feelings?" jihyo cries out from where she's sitting in donghyun's beanbag chair, dongmin sitting right next to her, squishing the poor beanbag to near smithereens.

"i agree with her! why didn't you tell her about your feelings?" dongmin exclaims. donghyun rolls his eyes, throwing the tennis ball in his hands at the ceiling before catching it and throwing it back up.

"why is she invited to this anyway?" woonhak asks, even as he offers jihyo a chocopie from the stash of snacks that sungho and jaehyun had gathered after raiding donghyun's pantry.

"because she's the object of this guy's affections for the past four years," sanghyeok says, pointing at jihyo and then donghyun. "it's good to get all of the firepower you can get, with how much a dunce this kid is."

"first of all, i'm not a dunce. and second of all, i haven't asked her out because i don't want to ask her out using one of you idiots' plan," donghyun explains. "i wanna ask her out the way i wanna ask her out."

dongmin sighs, shaking his head. "how is it that you're so mature and suave when you're speaking with y/n and you're such a child when you're with us."

"i think woonhak has cooties and donghyun somehow imbibes them whenever he's in a forty kilometer radius of him," jaehyun offers as explanation.

"shut up. you and i had the same idea for how donghyun should ask y/n out," woonhak reminds jaehyun to which jaehyun has no choice but to just nod along, munching on a chocopie.

"anyway. can we talk about dongmin and jihyo for a second. how the hell is it that y/n and i went to the café while you two were fighting like cats and dogs about the best mcr song and we come back to you to basically making out in the library," donghyun says, turning in his swivel chair to smile smugly at the conjoined twins on his beanbag chair.

"shut up!" jihyo yells, throwing a chocopie wrapper, only to incite more laughter from the boys when it falls to the floor pathetically.

"hey, to be fair, it only took us about two years of knowing each other to start dating," dongmin specifies. "it's just that the past month of trying to push you and y/n together pushed us together enough for us to realize that maybe dating wouldn't be such a bad idea."

jihyo and donghyun exchange a look (a threatening glare from jihyo and very thinly surpressed smirk from donghyun) - something, which unfortunately, does not go unnoticed by the rest of the boys. especially dongmin, who twists to look at his girlfriend with an unbelieving look.

"no way. don't tell me you also have some pining love story like donghyun," dongmin incredulously. at jihyo's silence, the entire group erupts into chaos, with sungho and donghyun (after feeling guilty) trying to silence them in vain.

"oh my god, just when i thought they couldn't get any more insufferably cute!"

"god, i hate both of them."

"why is everyone so bad at confessing their feelings."

"i'm gonna tell my girlfriend about this; she's gonna find this hilarious."

"i REALLY need to stop being single."

dongmin just ignores all of them, pressing a chaste kiss to jihyo's cheek when he realizes that she's gone bright red from the attention to her feelings.

donghyun mimes throwing up when he does so but can't help the smile on his face when he turns to his phone.

"anyway, anyway. back to the donghyun and y/n intervention," jihyo says, clearing her throat. she still earns a couple cheeky grins but manages to turn the gazes of the group to the individual sitting at his desk, frozen in his spot.

"what's wrong?" woonhak asks concernedly. donghyun just lifts up his phone to show the others in the room.

y/n (<3): hey, can we talk?

TRIAL FIVE: DONGHYUN'S PLAN

"y/n? is everything alright?" donghyun says, his footsteps masked by the snow that didn't melt from when it snowed again a few days ago.

you look up at him with a nervous smile. "yeah, everything's fine. um...do you wanna sit down?"

you scoot over to make space for donghyun on the bench you were sitting on. the bench faced the pond, somewhat concealed from the busy streets of seoul by the various coniferous trees that lined the public park.

"sure. yeah." donghyun takes a seat next to you, knee bouncing nearly as soon as he sits down.

"you look nervous," you say gingerly.

"you look nervous," donghyun echoes.

"touché." you fiddle with your hands, the evening suddenly feeling a lot colder than you thought it would be. donghyun notices, just as he notices everything, and for some reason, he shifts so that he's sitting on his hands. almost as he was physically stopping himself from doing something.

"so...what did you want to talk about?" donghyun asks, watching as a young child tries to escape his father's grip to run straight down the little slope that fed into the pond.

"nothing," you squeak out before shutting your eyes tight when you feel donghyun turn to look at you instead of the pond.

"oh. did - did you just want company as you sat outside for a bit?" donghyun stutters, not sure of what to do with himself.

"no," you start, before shaking your head at your own words. "i mean, i do have something to say. i'm just trying to find the words to say it."

"you know, i've been meaning to tell you something to you too," donghyun says tenderly and you immediately nudge him, encouraging him to go ahead and say his piece first.

"no way, you have to tell me first," donghyun defends, turning his nose up away from you when you try to catch his eye, trying to grasp his jacket to turn him towards you.

"i'm nervous, donghyun. can't you do me a favor and go ahead first?" you plead and donghyun melts, unable to hear any sort of sorrow in your voice - for whatever reason.

"alright, how about we say it at the same time?" he proposes and you concede as you nod, retracting your hand, not noticing the way that donghyun's gaze follows your movement.

he lifts three fingers, then folds one, until there's only one left. you shut your eyes, unable to see the expression on his face.

"i like you!"

"i love you."

you immediately open your eyes, jaw hanging as you stare at donghyun, who looks equally flummoxed by your words.

"you like me?" he asks, pointing a finger at you. you turn the finger back at him incriminatingly.

"you love me?" you gasp and donghyun's gaze grows tender, taking his other hand to trap your hand between his two large ones.

"for a while," he admits sheepishly, a shyness so uncharacteristic to the gentlemanly and smooth donghyun you were used to. "i've been trying to confess to you for the past month now. you just...never noticed."

you laugh besides yourself, immediately willing all laughter away when donghyun looks at you with a hurt expression.

"you've been trying to confess to me? donghyun, i've been trying to confess to you for the past month!"

"what?" he stammers. "you've been what for the past month?"

"yes, you fool. i've been trying to confess to you for months. i've liked you for months! and then when you asked jihyo and i to the movie, i figured that it was dongmin's scheme to ask jihyo out so i decided to use the chance to ask you out. and then the whole tickets fiasco happened," you explain, inching closer to him. donghyun uses the opportunity to thread his hand with your own, tugging you close to him so that his body warmth could envelope your shivering frame.

"and then you spent the next hour talking about the movie and you just seemed so excited that i didn't want to distract you. and you know, you're cute, when you're excited," you continue, grinning stupidly when donghyun turns away his head to hide his shy expression.

"so this whole month, you've been trying to confess to me too?"

"donghyun, you say i haven't paid attention but i swear to god, you are so dense sometimes."

TRIAL SIX: Y/N'S PLAN

"look, look," jihyo whispers under her breath as donghyun enters the classroom. you don't look up, not wanting to feed into jihyo's taunts, knowing that it would only serve as fodder for her teasing later on. you wait for donghyun to pass by your desk to the back of the classroom, where he sat everyday, staring out of the window rather than paying attention to any of the classes. any of the classes other than biology, that was.

but to your surprise, donghyun stops at your desks, talking to jihyo about some movie or another. a pang of jealousy that you try to swat away strikes in your chest before you hear dongmin's name and hear donghyun's attempts to keep from snickering in jihyo's face

ah. so he was just the messenger for dongmin.

you continue to write, not sure of what exactly you were writing anymore as you were trying not to make it overt that you were listening to jihyo and donghyun's conversation.

"i know you have tutoring today, but push it back until seven in the evening," jihyo whispers hotly once donghyun has disappeared from earshot.

"you have a movie date."

+++

"are you going to finally use this chance to ask him out?" jihyo asks when she catches you staring at the tall boy conversing with his friend outside the theatre hall as the two of you stood in line for refreshments.

"that's the goal," you respond with a sigh. "i don't know if he feels the same but i don't want to regret never telling him about my feelings."

jihyo nudges you softly. "hey, don't have such a negative outlook. you don't know how he feels, right? don't knock it before it happens."

you don't respond, watching donghyun chasing his friend around with a blithe smile, waving the tickets in the air.

+++

"i personally thought that the best part of the movie was when the dad ended up inside..." donghyun rambles excitedly, holding scoops of popcorn in his hands as he explains his theories to dongmin. you can't help the smile on your face as you watch him act so carefree and enthusiastic. dongmin nods along, explaining his own theory every so often.

jihyo's eyes dart between donghyun and dongmin before she slumps down, taking a long sip of her fanta. "somehow, i don't think that any level of confession is going to happen today."

you just laugh, content to listen to your friends discuss their favorite scenes from the movie before clicking your phone open, only to curse when you realized you only had a few minutes before tutoring.

"i'm so sorry - i have to get going!" you say hurriedly, gathering your things as quick as you can before you rush out of the theatre, wincing when you realize the amount of courage you'd have to work up once again to confess to him.

but donghyun just watches your uncomfortable expression as you rush away, unsure of it was his fault.

+++

you sit up in your bed, accepting the bowl of soup that donghyun hands you, trying your best to ignore the tingle of electricity that runs down your spine when your fingers brush against his.

your focus fades in and out of the comfortable rhythm of the conversation as you sip on the soup when jihyo drops the daunting copy of notes she'd written for you on your desk.

"i can help you," donghyun says, anchoring back to the conversation. you try not to show the fact that your heartbeat is now around the same decibel as a plane taking off, instead trying to deny his offer for fear that spending too much time together might cause to spit out the words you've been chewing on day and night for the past few days.

but something about the way that he says he's more than happy to help you and that you're not being a bother by asking for help makes you stutter for just a moment and in a second of weakness, you accept his help.

"friend." the word feels surprisingly bitter on your tongue when you echo the way donghyun says it, like its been dripped in lead in the way that it sits so heavy.

not when you wanted so much more

+++

"you know what, this will be the perfect timing for you and i to ask them both out," jihyo says, opening the door to the library as the two of you head inside.

"i still cannot believe you and him have been fighting like cats and dogs and you think that it's peak romance," you laugh as jihyo shoves you playfully.

"whatever," she says before turning to you, surprisingly serious. "alright, promise me that you'll ask him out. whenever i'm alone with dongmin, i'll confess my feelings for him so you have to promise that you'll confess your feelings to donghyun."

you interlock your pinky with her, only to drop your hands when you stumble across donghyun and dongmin, who are sitting with their heads together, looking not too unlike head-butting bulls.

"oh. have we interrupted something?" you ask through a stifled giggle, causing donghyun and dongmin to spring apart. you swear that dongmin quite literally is suspended in air for a good two seconds before landing once more in his chair.

"no, no, not at all. come y/n. you and i can sit here," donghyun says, pulling out a chair for you to sit in.

you try your best to ignore jihyo's gaze as you pull out your textbooks, ready to learn as much biology as you possibly could. and maybe put off any sense of confession for as long as possible.

+++

"weren't you the one who said that you didn't want to regret not confessing your feelings to him?" jihyo points out, stirring a mug of hot chocolate. you nod, slumping in your chair.

"i know..." you scramble to straighten your posture as you lean over the table to look at jihyo. "how did you ask out dongmin?"

she shrugs, uncharacteristically shy as she takes a sip of hot chocolate. "i didn't. dongmin asked me out."

you groan, sliding down your chair once more. "why can't donghyun ask me out? what if i just never work up the courage to ask him out?"

jihyo just laughs at your torment when her phone buzzes. she pulls her phone out of her pocket before reading the text message.

dongminnie mouse: donghyun's house in twenty. you're officially on the donghyun and y/n intervention squad >:)

she pockets her phone once more before sliding her hot chocolate over to you before gathering her belongings.

"where you going?" you call out, passing off the hot chocolate to your brother padding down the stairs. jihyo slips her shoes on before turning around with a shit-eating grin.

"to go and fix your issue for you!"

TRIAL SEVEN: FATE'S PLAN

"that's one killer best friend," donghyun huffs as he pieces together the entire situation together. "if only dongmin was as competent; we'd have had this conversation months ago."

you rest your head against donghyun's shoulder, watching as the sun slowly begins to start its descent into the horizon.

"i don't know. i'm kinda glad that things worked out the way that they did. what if i didn't feel as strongly as i do now? maybe this was all meant to be," you say softly. donghyun smiles, turning to look you in the eyes.

just as sparkly, bright and so full of affection as you knew his eyes would be.

he leans in close, just a breath away from you as his eyes never leave yours.

"really? and if i say i love you right now?" he asks, and you forget why you'd ever been scared to confess to this boy, so full of love just for you.

you lean in even closer, pressing your lips against in a sweet, tender kiss, smiling when his lips seem follow yours even with his eyes closed.

"does that answer your question?"

"more than enough."

[billluver0124]

"middle school shenanigans!"

synopsis : tom goes through his 'first love' experience with y/n! WARNINGS: there is none, its a fluff story !!

authors note: once again, @rottinglilys helped me with the plot of the story ! i hope you guy enjoy my lovies<3

it all started back last year in grade 7, tom had a MASSIVE crush on y/n. he would always catch himself staring at her in classes because they had most classes together.

he always adored how she looked; her hair, her eyes, her bubbly personality, her willingness to be kind towards those who dont deserve it. but most of all...her smile. toms heart used to explode like fireworks whenever he was blessed to see her smiled.

then on the day before spring break started, tom slipped her a note in her locker.

"Hey, ich bin in dich verknallt. Magst du mich auch?

ja oder nein ?-t.k"

y/n was so confused when she got the note. she didn't know what 't.k' stood for, until the very last hour of school. when tom decided to man up and go up to her.

"y/n!" he yelled, jogging up to her to catch her attention. she turns around "oh hi tom!" she said, smiling. tom almost fell to his knees right then and there, but no! he needed to tell her how she felt! "did you get my note?" tom asked, his hand wrapped around the back of his neck. then it hit y/n straight in the face, t.k = tom kaulitz, how could i be so fucking stupid? she thought to herself. "o-oh uh yea!" she answered nervously. "c-can i see it?" tom asked, y/n nervously giving it back. he opens it to see that it wasnt answered "you didnt answer it, do you not like me back?" tom felt his heart sting a little but it was soon reassured. "n-no i do like you, i like you a-a lot!..." y/n blurted out "i just didnt know what 't.k' meant at first until now..." tom chuckled, "what did you think it meant?" "i-i dont know...t-turkey kabob?" she joked, causing them to both laugh. after a moment of silence, tom speaks "so, are you my girlfriend now?" tom asked, not knowing where to go from here. y/n nods, giving him a hug. tom feels his heart flutter at the feeling of y/n in his arms. "you wanna hangout this weekend? ill ask my mom if its okay" she asked, tom nods "yea for sure! ill see you then"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

it was now grade 8, tom and y/n have been dating for a year! their families have grown fond of each other and they hangout at each others house after school most of the week and sometimes on weekends...

with the condition that the door must stay open of course...

today they were at toms house, tom was showing her a song he was playing some guitar for her and she just peacefully watched. y/n always admired toms talent on guitar, she knew he was gonna make it big one day.

after a little while, he puts the guitar away and pats a spot next to him "wanna cuddle liebe?" he asked, she smiles and lays next to him. he pulls her into his embrace, her pretty head rests upon his chest as he strokes her hair.

as tom stroked her hair, y/n found herself staring at a particular feature on his face, his lips. the pretty pink color, the way they curved into a smile whenever he was happy, and oh my god his lip piercing...y/ns never kissed anyone before, but she wanted to kiss him so bad. "is something wrong?" tom asked, slightly nervous. "nothing its just..." y/n took a breath before she finished her question "h-have you ever kissed anyone?" tom sighed "uhm, yeah..my babysitter when i was like..9" "oh.." "why? have you ever kissed anyone schatz?" tom asked, y/n looks down; embarassed "n-no, i havent.."

then almost immediately, tom got an idea in his little brain>.<

"do you want to have your first kiss?" "well, yeah every girl wants to have their first kiss" y/n joked "no schatzi..." tom chuckled "i mean do you want to have it...with me?" y/n hesitates for a moment, nervous of if shes a good kisser or not. shes really new to this! what if shes a bad kisser? what if she goes too far? but it couldnt be that bad right? its just a kiss for christs sake!

"yeah..is that okay tommy?" "its more than okay with me schatzi.." tom sat up, scooting closer to her "you ready?" he asked...

y/n nods, shakily moving her face closer to him. tom places a hand on her cheek then boom! their lips were sealed together! (aww so cute! >.<) y/n places a hand on his shoulder, deepening the kiss. then they let go because if they kissed any longer they would suffocate!

"woah.." y/n mumbled, tom chuckling at her reaction "did you like it?" "yeah i did" y/n said, softly smiling... "then we should kiss more often then hm?" tom said, smirking at his girlfriend.

[hughjackmansbicep]

Delicate

a/n: hi friends!!!! im hoping to make this into a multi part series, got lots planned for this mini fic :))))) this is kind of the prolouge to the real deal, needed to get the setup for it started before we divulge. expect lots of twists n turns my friends!

Pairing: Logan Howlett X F!Mutant!Reader

Warnings: uhhhhh none lol

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: The government has successfully began the eradication of all mutant species in the United States. Lucky for you your dad has taken careful precautions to protect you from the evil that lurks in the streets outside. Tucked away in a concealed basement you sat and rotted away clinging to your old life and dreams. What happens when one day you've got a severe hankering for some ice cream and he ran out of beer the same night? Both finding yourselves in the right place at the right time.

The world as you knew it was slowly coming to an end. Mutants everywhere were dropping like flies after the government slowly started poisoning everyone's food. Unless you were an off-grid loner living off the land, you succumbed to the same fate as everyone else, 6 feet under. Lucky enough for you, your father kept you pretty sheltered. Tucked away in your fully renovated basement, the world is ignorant of your existence. It was safer this way; I mean, sure, you missed going out to bars and seeing your friends; hell, you even missed those 8 a.m. bio classes you used to take. But this was safer; at least that's what your father always preached. “It’s safer down here, away from all those evil people.” He'd remind you every day, “You're to never leave my site, kiddo, and never step outside those doors.” Not like you could anyways, while your mutation allowed you to control the atoms around you and morph them into anything your heart desired, you had one weakness, adamantium. Your house was coated in it; every doorknob, lock, and even the goddamn windows were coated in the shit. 

It was 3:00am, no one was home, and you found yourself craving ice cream. It wasn't uncommon for your dad to leave you to your own vices. He still had a job he'd have to attend to, and that more often than not led you to solidarity on his trips. And here you were in the middle of the night, the light from the fridge illuminating the dimly lit kitchen, tearing your freezer apart hoping to magically find a pint of Ben and Jerry’s buried deep in the frost. You groan, sinking down to your knees, met with disappointment and an ever-growing craving for the sweet, delicious taste of The Tonight Dough. Sure, you could've totally put in an Uber Eats order, but where would the fun in that be? You stood in front of the adamantium-cladded door, using all your strength to melt it to the ground, but to no avail. The only thing between you and your Jimmy Fallon-adorned ice cream was some space metal, and to hell if your dad really thinks that's going to curve the urge.

For the next hour, you ran around the house like a lunatic looking for a weak point. Maybe your father missed just one spot—one tiny spot in this prison he calls a home. A small hole fit for the size of a mouse teased you. Sure, you control all the atoms around you but your own? You'd never even attempted to entertain that idea, although the worst that could happen is you turn your body into a permanent pile of slop. That didn't sound too terrible when compared to being a basement dweller for the last 7 years. And it turns out it wasn't as bad as you'd thought; you melted your body down into a pile of liquid, slithering your way through the walls of your house before you were spit out from a hole in the bricks. The air on your skin cascaded goosebumps along your body; you honestly couldn't remember the last time you felt wind grace your skin or the sun illuminating off your shoulders. 

You skipped happily toward the corner store, taking in every sound around you. The sound your feet made when they hit the pavement, the distant chatter of the locals crowding down the sidewalks, even the obnoxious sound of a car horn brought a smile to your face. You finally understood the saying, ‘the city that never sleeps.’ You reached the corner store, swinging the door open and prancing inside as if it were Disney World. Your happy fantasy faded as the man behind the register yelled at you to put some shoes on before walking into his store. You looked down, wiggling your free toes, with all the excitement of liquifying yourself to get a taste of the outside world, common societal rules had slipped your mind. “I um.. Just came to grab a pint of ice cream; I’ll be really quick, I promise.” You pleaded sheepishly, offering him a quick smile to butter him up a bit. He simply rolled his eyes in disgust and turned his back to you, mumbling something under his breath.

You made your way around the convenience store towards the dairy section when something, or rather someone, caught your attention. He looked tall, and even with a leather jacket on, you could tell he was huge. He had some silly-looking facial hair and even sillier-looking cat-ear-like hair, but man, he still looked good. Your eyes slowly traveled down his arms to his pants. Cute butt, you thought to yourself. He stifled a laugh before turning in your direction and saying, “Thank you.” He grumbled, turning back towards the beer cooler. “What?” You ask, heat rising to your cheeks once you realize you'd accidentally said that out loud. He didn't acknowledge you, just went back to scanning the cooler. You took that as a hint to keep moving, finally landing in front of the ice cream section and grabbing the last pint of your favorite ice cream. Carefully looking around to make sure nobody was watching you, you pulled the lid off and used your mutation to pull out all the atoms belonging to the anti-mutant poisons that were mixed in with the delicious sweet treat. Floating above the ice cream, you cautiously manipulated them into a different container of food and made your way back towards the front. What you didn't know was that the unfortunate corner store owner had been watching your freak act on the CCTV cameras the whole time.

Turning around one of the aisles, you had spotted two men in suits talking to the man upfront. You couldn't make out what was being said as they whispered, but watching him point to you using your mutation on the TV screen explained enough to you. You backed up slowly, trying to even your breaths out before you had a panic attack. You felt someone grab your shoulder, spinning you around into them. It was Mr. Cute Butt; he must be working with those suited men too. Your eyes go wide as you focus all your energy on him. You were attempting to melt him, freeing yourself from his grasp, but it wasn't working for some reason. He just stared at your brows laced together, trying to figure out what in the fuck were you doing. “You're going to shit yourself if you keep straining like that.” He whispered a low chuckle, following after.

You froze, looking up at the man with pleading eyes. “Please don't hurt me; I just wanted some ice cream. Please i'll leave right now, sir.” You rushed out searching his face for sympathy or remorse something in hopes he'd release his grasp on you. He looked confused at what you were saying to him as if you were speaking some foreign language, but that didn't last long once you two heard footsteps approaching you. “C’mon kid.” He grumbled out, dragging you by your arm, ducking in between the small isles towards the exit. “They're over here!” The man upfront yelled, and the mystery man beside you just groaned before scooping you up into his arms and rushing you out of the store. You both quickly fell into the crowd, blending into the sea of people that populated the streets of New York. As soon as you two were outside, he'd set you on your feet, his arm still gripping your wrist, dragging you through the city with him.

“I need to go home, sir; please don't hurt me. I'm so sorry.” You cried, tears adorning your cheeks as you pleaded with him; if your father knew what was transpiring at this very moment, you'd be toast. Absolutely never allowed outside your basement ever again; you could kiss the sun goodbye because you'll probably never see it again once he gets home. He ignored your pleas though as he pushed through the crowds to a parked motorcycle on the road. “Oh no, I am not getting on that thing.” You halted your movements, digging your heels into the ground. “Suit yourself, sweet cheeks.” He laughed at you dryly hopping onto the bike, “They'll find you eventually.” He kicked the stand up, revving the bike on. You looked through the crowd behind you, worry etching onto your face. Maybe he's right; maybe I should hop on that bike and ride it into the sunset with this beautiful specimen, or he's no better than those suited men and could ultimately be leading me to my death. “Just get on the fucking bike.” He growled at the sound of sirens roaring closer to you two.

Begrudgingly, you hopped onto the back of the bike, plopping the helmet latched behind you on your head. At this rate, your sure your dad is going to skin you alive and hang you up to dry. “Hang on tight, princess.” He turned around to smirk at you. You snaked your hands around his torso, and he took off, the force causing your face to smash into his back and your grip on him tightening. You were sure if you had been gifted some form of super strength, you would've popped his torso clean off his legs with how tight you were squeezing him. You attempted to give him directions back to your house, but he couldn't hear you and kept heading in the opposite direction. He totally could hear you too, but he was ignoring your requests to return you home.

The quick 15-minute drive felt like an eternity with how utterly petrified you were. Matter of fact, you were so scared, eyes clenched shut, arms squeezing all the oxygen out of his lungs, you hadn't even noticed that you'd arrived at your mystery destination. He pried your arms off him, causing you to open your eyes; you were in complete shock. A gorgeous castle-like building stood before you, surrounded by trees, and a long gravel driveway trailed in front of it. A voice broke you from your thoughts, but this sound didn't come from the man sitting in front of you; no, it appeared like it came straight from inside your head. 'Logan, would you please introduce me to your new friend? The voice sang through you, your head whipping around frantically to find the owner of these words. “C’mon, I got someone for you to meet.” The man in front of you finally spoke, helping you off the bike and placing the helmet back in its spot on the rear. He guided you through the mansion all the way to the back, stopping at two huge double wooden doors.

“Come in, please.” Rang the same voice you heard earlier, the double doors slowly opening before you to reveal a small, bald man sitting in a chair. “And who might this be, Logan?” He questioned, looking towards the big man next to you. Logan, huh, you thought to yourself, cute name and a cute butt. Logan awkwardly shifted beside you, the bald man sending a booming laugh throughout the room. “Oh my God.. Did I say that out loud?” You whispered heat rising to your cheeks once again. Ignoring you, Logan started explaining to the bald guy, whose name you quickly learned was Charles, what happened earlier. Logan had seen what you were doing in that small store—how you made some substance float out of the ice cream and back into another pint. He assumed you were attempting to do something similar to that when he had grabbed you, and you began shaking like a Chihuahua, yet all you could think about during their discussion of the previous events was how you never got to eat the ice cream you risked your whole life for. “So,” Charles spoke, directing his attention to you. “What can you do exactly? What were you doing with that ice cream?” He hummed his eyes, raking you up and down, studying all your features. hoping they might tell him about who you are.

You were fairly normal-looking; I mean, to the average human eye, they couldn't tell you apart from another human. You felt like a deer in headlights right now, though; you'd never been asked or questioned about your mutation. You never dared to speak about it aloud; hell, your dad wouldn't even let you use your powers ever; it's like he was ashamed of you. “I can... manipulate things, i guess.” You spoke quietly; it felt taboo to you to speak about this, like this was some intimate, inappropriate topic to discuss. “And what do you mean by that?” He mused, deeply interested in your mystery. “I’m not exactly sure, sir. I just know I can do this.” You focus your eyes on the pen sat upon his desk, watching it quickly fall into a liquid puddle. “Fascinating.” Charles smiled up at you, “Can you change it back?” You trained your eyes down on the mess you created, quickly blinking as it slowly morphed back into its original shape of a pen.

Charles laughed in amusement before clasping his hands together. “We have much to discuss, little one, but for now Logan will show you to a room you can rest in. We'll talk more tomorrow.” He nodded at you before Logan had turned around out the door. You took this as your sign to follow, doors shutting behind you both. He guided you up the stairs, stopping at a random white door and handing over a towel and toothbrush he'd picked up on the way to your room. “Just try and get some sleep.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he spoke. “I’m just up the hall if you need anything, i guess.” He nodded his head in the direction of his door. You just smiled, turning around into your room and softly closing your door. 

You had no clue where the fuck you were or what these strange men were planning to do with you. You've heard the horror stories from your dad about how the government would poke and prod you if anyone knew what you could do. you'd be a test subject for rich white males to toy and play with. You'd set the towel and toothbrush down on a chair in the room you were assigned and slowly stalked your way to the bed. As you crawled into bed attempting to get some shut eye all that you could think to yourself was, "Man my dad is soo going to fucking kill me when he finds me."

[charmac]

Danny did a little interview for AARP Magazine in December. I haven't seen it copied anywhere past the paywall and I enjoyed reading it, so wanted to repost here

(Article is pasted as text below the cut)

Noisemaker I was born in Asbury Park, New Jersey. I was the baby, my sister Theresa was 10 years older, my sister Angie was 16 years older, my mom had two sisters, and none of them shut up, ever. It’s an Italian family, so the decibel level is out there. A little smart aleck I went to Our Lady of Mount Carmel School, because if your mother and father didn’t know what to do with you, they gave you to the nuns. … and still a smart aleck I remember when Peter, my nephew, was born. I was 7 years old, and I went over and looked into the bassinet, and the first thing he did was pee on me. It was great! I don’t think there’s a conversation I’ve had with the guy over all these years where I don’t bring up the fact that he peed on me. Also an old softie Do anything you can to keep on an even keel with your family and friends, no matter what happens in your life. That’s all we have. Don’t hide things. You’ve got to get up every day thinking about how you’re going to make it easier for the people that you’re working with or that you love or that you eat breakfast with. Because it’s infectious; everybody starts feeling good. Falling into the business Growing up, I’d spend the weekends at the movies, but I actually wasn’t even thinking about doing it. I got introduced to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in a roundabout way, took a couple classes, and I got the bug. And I thought, I’m not like Cary Grant, but I got a feel for this thing. So I studied, and then I went and started looking for jobs in New York, like every other actor does. I didn’t care what the description was—“male, 6 foot 4, 250 pounds”—I’d go out for the audition. Once I got in the room, I’m going to do what I’m going to do. Becoming Louie I wanted that part, Louie DePalma [in Taxi]. I walked into the room to audition in front of the four guys who created it, and I said, “One thing I want to know before we start. Who wrote this shit?” And I threw the script on the table. And I had a nanosecond of, did I screw everything up? Then they fell on the floor. Louie walked into their lives. Sudden fame I went to the market the day after the first episode aired, and people are stopping me on the street: “Hey, Louie!” They weren’t calling me Danny. After a couple of days of this, I called my publicist, and said, “This is really crazy. People are chasing me down the street.” He says, “Danny, you don’t have to worry until that stops happening.” Now it’s all, “Frank, Frank, Frank!” because of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is good. The fans are all you have. Still evolving I think I’m bolder than I’ve ever been—I don’t monitor myself as much. I do say things that are, like, pretty far out, that are really weird, and sometimes I’m inappropriate. But I am always respectful, and that’s because of my two sisters, I swear to God. You have to respect other people’s space.

My happy place Since my two grandbabies have been born, I am just in- corrigible. You gotta tamp me down in the joy department, you know what I’m saying? I’m just so lucky. Blessings have been showered down on me. I wish that for everybody.And the thing is to be aware of it. Don’t let it go. Rhea [Perlman, DeVito’s wife, from whom he is separated but with whom he still spends a lot of time] and I were always able to see those little, incremental changes when our kids were growing up. And I tell my kids that, with their babies: Don’t miss a thing, don’t look away. A sudden case of holidays I’m in the movie A Sudden Case of Christmas with my daughter Lucy, who plays my daughter. It’s just a real warm, wonderful movie, and I loved doing it. As far as the actual holidays go, we have family dinners. Basically we’re Italian, so you know, anybody who’s around, we grab. We get to celebrate all the holidays, because Rhea’s parents were Jewish, so we did all the Jewish holidays, and we do all the Catholic holidays or Italian holidays. My mantra It’s always a good thing to be positive about life, and always get out of bed thinking today’s the day you’re really going to kick its ass. That’s the way to do it

[kpop---scenarios]

Reckless (6)

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader

Genre: Brothers Best Friend

Warning: Smut, sadness [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT READ]

Word Count: 1.9k

Taglist: @hyunjinhoexxx @ovulatingrn @jisunglyricist @guiltycoco @fawnpeaks @purple-bell @caught-in-the-afterglow @ana-marais98 @rylea08 @astraystayastayastray @partyparty-yah @skzswife @sillyhal @feellikecinderella @asphalstead @minh0scat @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @chanbahng29 @blackbluerose666 @mmarusa

@seungminsapuppy

One | Two | Three | Four | Five |

“Y/N?” You hear. “Y/N! Are you okay?” A voice asks. You slowly open your eyes, expecting to see Jisung and Jisoo around you but you're not home. You scramble to sit up, looking around your surroundings, this wasn't right. Was it all a dream? You look over, Hyunjin sits there, looking at you worriedly.

“I.. this isn't right? I was home? I have to call Jisung.” You say panicking.

As you grab your phone to dial, there's a frantic knock at the door.

“Y/N.. please..” you hear a familiar voice gasp. You get up, running to the door, unlocking it before ripping it open. Minho stands there, holding his stomach. Blood gushing from a wound, his shirt soaked.

“What happened!?” You cry as he collapses into your arms. “Jisung.. he found out.” He gasps. Tears fall from your eyes, you're sobbing over his body, you can't breathe. “Please Minho.. Please.. don't die, I love you please don't die.”

You gasp. You shoot up, sweat pouring from your body as tears continue to spill. Your chest is heaving as you replay the dream inside a dream you had just experienced. You were still on the couch at Hyunjin's. You look at your phone, it was 7:30am the next day.

Fuck. That means you never went home, you didn't have an argument with Minho, he never confessed to Jisung that he was in love with you. None of it was real. Fuck.

Hyunjin walks out of his room. “Good morning.” He laughs. “I thought you were gonna go grab some stuff yesterday?” He asks.

“I was.. but I guess I fell asleep.” You sigh.

“Are you okay? It sounded like you were having some weird dreams.” He says.

“Yeah.. something like that.” You whisper. “I'm gonna get ready and we can go to class.” You say.

The entire morning you felt off. Those dreams had really fucked you up and you felt like you couldn't tell what was real and what was a dream. It currently felt like you were in a dream, and you very well could be but you'd never know. Hyunjin had asked you if you wanted to grab lunch but you had no appetite at all. You couldn't focus, you couldn't stop thinking about that fucking dream. You walked through the halls with your head down, until you stopped in your tracks. Your stomach got butterflies. You looked up, seeing Minho standing there. You hadn't realized how much you had missed him until this very moment. How much you desperately wanted him at this very moment. You walked up to him, your fingertips grazing his cheek.

“You're real.” You whisper. You grab his wrist, pulling him with you, taking him into the first unoccupied classroom. You closed the door, locking it behind you.

“What is going on with you?” Minho asks. “You've ignored me for a month..” he pauses. You drop your books, walking up to him, crashing your lips onto his. He drops his books, wrapping one arm around you and one around your head, pulling you in closer to him. Your mouths move together, he slides his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You both were sloppy, so needy for each other. You missed him so fucking much. You move your hands down, fumbling with the button on his jeans. You finally undo it, pulling the zipper down and his pants just enough to release his cock. You grab it with your hand, gently stroking him as he moans into your mouth. You can feel his cock harden in your hands, and that made you so wet.

Minho spins the two of you around, backing you into the wall. He pulls down your pants and underwear, you take them off, kicking them away from you. You jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Minho lines himself up with you, slowly pushing his cock inside of you. It had been so long, it sent shivers down your spine as he filled you up.

“Fuck.” He hisses, pushing himself all the way inside of you. “You feel so good around my cock.”

“Move.” You gasp. You needed him to fuck you, so hard. Minho starts to thrust, snapping his hips hard enough to push his cock in so deep into you.

“I fucking missed you so much.” He breathes into your ear. Your heart melts at his words, you wrap your arms around him even tighter, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. He thrusts faster, the he's rubbing against your clit with every thrust, it feels so fucking good. You turn your head, your lips brushing up against his ear.

“I'm gonna cum.” You whimper just before your orgasm takes over. You moan loudly as pleasure flows through your body and your eyes roll back. You clench your cunt around him, making him moan louder and thrust faster. He wasn't far behind you, his orgasm hitting him seconds later. “Fuck.” He gasps as he cums, spilling his warm liquid deep inside you.

He holds you for a second, before you unwrap your legs from him and he pulls out of you. You quickly get your underwear and your pants back on as he buttons up his pants, fixing himself up.

“Wow.” He chuckles.

“Did you mean it?” You ask, you need to know.

“Mean what?” He asks, fixing his hair.

“Did you miss me? When you said you missed me, did you mean it?” You wonder.

“I mean yeah, the house has been quiet without you. Why have you been gone so long? And why were you ignoring me?” He asks.

“Are you still with Maya?” You ask, ignoring his questions.

“Kinda.. I guess.” He sighs. “I'm not really into it though. I'm interested in someone else.”

You perk up immediately. Interested in someone else, that person had to be you. He smiles at you, staring at your face. He looks like he wants to tell you something, like he wants to tell you that it's you. But then he turns scared.

“You know Rose? Yeah, I'd like to start talking to her.” He whispers. He knew what you were hoping his answer would be. He so desperately wanted to tell you that it was you but he knew how wrong he had been in sleeping with you, refusing to acknowledge his feelings and telling Jisung. He couldn't. Not after Jisung had explicitly said that you were off limits. He wanted you to hate him, he wanted you to forget him because you deserved so much more than he could give you but he was addicted to you, just like you were to him.

Tears spill down your cheeks, you sniffle, trying to hold them in but you're failing miserably. “Fuck you.” You snap. You grab your books, unlock the door to storm out. You didn't think he'd chase you but he did.

“Y/N!” He yells. People stop to stare. “Please. Can I explain?” He asks.

“Explain what, exactly?” You snap.

“You've done nothing but hurt me these last few months, and yeah maybe it's my fault because I let you. Because I was so fucking with you that I wanted anything I could get from you. But you refuse to tell me how you really feel just because you're scared of my brother and his reaction?” You scoff.

“I'm not allowed to love you! Okay? I'm not supposed too, but I fucking do. I can't breathe when you're not around me, but it can't happen. I can't keep fucking betraying my best friend like this. I'm going to tell him. I'll tell him everything, but this.” He pauses, pointing to you and himself. “Is done. It's not happening anymore. When I tell him, I have to tell him it's over.”

“Are you going to tell him you love me?” You cry.

Minho looks at the ground.

“No. I can't.” He whispers.

“Then it doesn't sound like you ever loved me.” You snap, storming away. You were done. You were done with school right now, everything. You wanted to curl in a ball and do nothing and that's what you did. You went to Hyunjin's and you knew he wasn't home. You packed up your belongings, you had intruded on his life long enough. You took your stuff and went back home. You walked in the door, tears stained on your face.

“Y/N?” Jisung says, looking shocked that you were here. “What's wrong?” He asks. You drop your belongings, your head hangs low, as you sob. Jisung rushes towards you, wrapping his arms around you.

“What happened?” He asks.

“I.. I can't tell you.” You cry.

“You can tell me anything.” He whispers, rubbing your back.

“I've been.. sleeping with..” you take a deep breath. You can do this. “Minho.” You whisper.

His hand freezes on the middle of your back. “Like.. my best friend Minho?” He asks.

“Yes.” You cry, you're sobbing even harder than before.

“Okay, okay, shhh. It's gonna be okay.” He whispers. “What happened? Was he mean to you?”

“He has been. He says it's because he knew it was so wrong and he was betraying you. He said he loves me but he knows he's not allowed to.” You sniffle.

“Why don't you go and lay down for a bit.” He says. “Just go rest. I'll deal with this.”

“What are you gonna do?” You ask, picking up your bag.

“Don't worry about that. Just go on.” He half smiles.

As you go upstairs to your room, Jisung sits back on the couch, resuming his show. You can only imagine how much anger is flowing through him right now. You put your stuff down and instead of unpacking you lay down in your bed. You needed to shower but fuck you were exhausted. You must have fallen asleep for a bit, because you woke up to the front door slamming. You knew it was Minho.

Jisung stands up, glaring at his best friend.

“Jisung.” Minho sighs. “I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah? That's funny, cause I need to fucking talk to you.” Jisung snaps. Minho drops his bag and books, walking closer to Jisung.

“You talked to Y/N?” Minho asks.

“Well yeah. When my little sister comes home sobbing, I tend to talk to her.” Jisung says.

“She was crying?” Minho whispers. His heart sinks. He hated himself so much.

“Yep.” Jisung says before making a fist and swinging. He hits Minho in the face, knocking him back.

“Fuck man.” Minho yells, holding his face. “I deserved that.”

“You deserve a lot fucking worse!” Jisung yells, walking over to Minho. He grabs the collar of his shirt, pulling him close. “The only fucking reason I'm not killing you right now is because she loves you and she told me that you love her too. Is that true?” He asks.

Minho nods his head. “I fucking do! How could I not?” He yells.

“Then make it fucking right.” Jisung yells, pushing Minho back.

“How? After everything, how can I make it right with her? She'll never forgive me.” He says, as you walk down the stairs.

“In the words of Olivia Pope.” You begin. “If you want me, earn me.” You say. Minho looks at you with pleading eyes. He can see your face is puffy and eyes are red from crying.

You start walking back up the stairs, turning to look back at him one last time, glaring directly into his eyes. You say one last thing to him before turning the corner.

“Asshole.”

If he really loves you like he says he does, he'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.

[lizzy06]

Kirishima Eijirou x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/Ao3/Wattpad)

My Hero Academia Fic Rec Masterlist

Kirishima Eijirou Fic Rec Masterlist

Real Enough; Pro Hero Kirishima x Reader ✨by rjbaxter (angst, fluff, smut)Your quirk allows you to show people a part of their future. Once seen, you can help guide them through important life decisions to an extent. Pro Hero Red Riot saves your life one day and gets hit with your quirk. He sees his future and hopes he can make it real. This will be a slow burn with angst, fluff and smut.[COMPLETED]

baby are you playing tricks? (cause you look like a treat)✨✨ by @andypantsx3/ andypantsx3 (oneshot, fluff , humor and skippable smut at end for sfw readers!) Dressing up as sexy Red Riot for Halloween had been embarrassing enough on its own. Then you actually run into Red Riot.[COMPLETED]

Good things come to those who wait ✨by @dira333 / Fogfire (oneshot, fluff)Falling in love at first sight, but never getting a chance to act on it. Until…[COMPLETED]

Care for me✨ by @dira333/Fogfire(oneshot, fluff)You're there to care for your boyfriend after his wisdom teeth get removed. That's it, that's the fic.[COMPLETED]

sweet like you ✨by @ererokii (oneshot, fluff)Class 1-A decides to help a local animal shelter by doing a bake sale, and you and Kirishima are in charge of the baking.[COMPLETED]

Soulmate AU Series: Eijiro Kirishima✨ by @confusedblakex (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)The day you get your soulmark, except you didn’t find your soulmate the way you expected. [COMPLETED]

A life with you… ✨by @lelawrites (oneshot, soulmate au, mentions of past bullying, slight angst, fluff) In a world filled soulmates that couldn’t see colour without making eye contact, your quirk made people able to do so and it made your life hell. That is, until you meet your own soulmate.

BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 7: Running from Pain✨ by @writing-freak (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) in a world where you feel every ounce of pain your soulmate has, you spend your entire childhood trying to keep your soulmate safe, and it seems like they have the same idea. that is, of course, until you’re off to the support course at UA, and find yourself in all sorts of trouble. you don’t feel so bad, though, cause whatever your soulmate is up to seems to be creating the same amount of pain for you as you’re creating for them.

Pretty/tumblr link ✨by @alkhale/alkhale(oneshot, fluff) Two times Kirishima Eijirou tries to shout to the world how beautiful you are. And the one time he says it.[COMPLETED]

Paws for Panic ✨by Hero234(oneshot, fluff)When chaos strikes and quirks collide, one innocent collision turns pro hero Red Riot into an adorable red puppy! Little does (Y/n) know, that the newly turned pup is none other than her favorite hero, and he understands more than he lets on. Unaware of the puppy's true identity, (Y/n) spends the day pampering her fluffy victim.[COMPLETED]

𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐈𝐌𝐀! ⏤EIJIRO KIRISHIMA ✨by DollReMi (single parent! reader, fluff, angst) As a single parent, you struggle to play the role of mother and father for your son, Ren. However, you don't have to stress for too long when the same pro hero your son adores comes to your rescue in the most unexpected way.[COMPLETED]

A Helping Hand✨ by WitchofWriting(oneshot, fluff) Kirishima basically lives at the gym. His kindness - which to him is just common decency - catches someone's attention.[COMPLETED]

Red✨ by coffeerepublic(oneshot, fluff)You help your friend with dyeing his hair. (The complementary feelings come free of charge.)[COMPLETED]

 Last Minute by @flannel-cladpika (oneshot, fluff) Where you tell your feelings to Eijirou kinda last minute.[COMPLETED]

Find What You're Seeking ✨by coffeerepublic(oneshot, fluff)For now, all you were able to register was Eijirou, and yourself, and the negligibly small amount of space between you that seemed wider than the distance between stars.[COMPLETED]

Mistakes Were Made by itbeajen(oneshot, coffee shop au, fluff) Making drinks for a group of people was hard. Especially since orders were confusing and it was highly likely that a mistake could be made. But maybe this mistake in particular was a godsend for the future.[COMPLETED]

The Pizza Delivery Guy by iluveggs(oneshot, college au, fluff) Your roommate orders a pizza with the special instructions, “send your cutest delivery boy ;)” and you’re left in complete awe when it actually works.[COMPLETED]

Perfect ✨by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, hurt/comfort) You weren’t trying to be problematic– really you weren’t. Most of your complaints arose in regards to a single volatile topic.[COMPLETED]

Third Wheel ✨by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, fluff) You squint and try to find him, but there’s only a dim outline of his form in the darkness. “Where’s Eiji with the sn–” You don’t get the chance to finish your question.[COMPLETED]

Manly Things✨ by @bnhascribbles (oneshot, fluff, hurt/comfort)“It’s not your fault.” You whisper it like a prayer. Then you repeat it, punctuating each reiteration with a kiss to his cheek, his nose, his chin. Still, you can tell he doesn’t believe you.[COMPLETED]

Dibs by @bnhascribbles (oneshot, fluff) No. You shoot him a cautionary glare, just daring him to try and do what you suspect he wants to. His lips twist upward, and soon he has a toothy grin spanning the entirety of his face. No.[COMPLETED]

Better Late Than Never by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, musical au, friends to lovers, fluff)Not that you need more with Kirishima. Friendship is fine. Friendship is awesome. Sure, that intense look he gets whenever he practices makes something curl up on itself deep in your belly. Sure, whenever he gives you one of those playful pats on the back, you wish he would linger for just a little bit longer.[COMPLETED]

Sick Days by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, hurt/comfort, fluff)You were a mess–a sniffling, wheezing mess. Not that Kirishima didn’t think you were drop-dead gorgeous, snot and all. But really, you looked sick. Very sick.[COMPLETED]

Waiting by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, hurt/comfort) You hold your breath, half-expecting another call. It never comes. Those three little dancing dots–the ones that tell you a person is typing–stay there for at least five minutes. The message you finally get back, however, is short. b there in 10. [COMPLETED]

Walls by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, mentions of past abuse, hurt/comfort) When had you begun to trust him enough to let him past that wall of yours?[COMPLETED]

“i’d do anything for you” by @bakugohoex (oneshot, fluff)in which kirishima helps you throughout the day and you finally ask him why he’s always so nice to you, gaining a response you’d never had expected. [COMPLETED]

“if you win, i’ll take you out tonight” by @bakugohoex (oneshot, fluff) in which you’re performing at the ua pageant and get a surprised visit from kirishima with a proposal in mind. [COMPLETED]

Love Handles ✨by terminally_Volatile(oneshot, chubby! insecure reader, fluff, humor) Kirishima Eijirou is known throughout U.A. for his unwavering enthusiasm, amazing use of his quirk, and (mostly amongst the ladies) his incredible physique. He captures the hearts of many young girls who swoon for his attention, but what will they say when they see the human piece of rock dating someone his complete opposite? A girl made of soft skin and big thighs? [COMPLETED]

sunlight ✨by @bluebellhairpin (oneshot, fluff, fantasy au)As a dark fae, Kirishima has a kind soul but a wary heart so as to not make others afraid. You, a light pixie, bring him out of his shell like a moth to flame. [COMPLETED]

Soulmate by @pink-imagines (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) A red string, tied around your pinky finger. Everyone had one. They led to the person that you were going to spend the rest of your lif with. You other half. Your soulmate.[COMPLETED]

infinity by @k-atsukidayo (oneshot, angst, soulmate au)summary: kirishima struggles to tell his soulmate that they only have a month left to live. based off of this song.[COMPLETED]

words by @confusedblakex (oneshot, soulmate au, angst with happy ending) Kirishima always wondered why he had no words on his wrist, but when he meets you it all makes sense.[COMPLETED]

“I can’t keep kissing people and pretend that they’re you!” by @your-local-bnha-writer (oneshot, angst with happy ending) [COMPLETED]

Unexpected Surprise  by @sparkexplosive (oneshot, unplanned pregnancy, angst, fluff) Dear Eijirou, I’m so sorry, but we can’t be together anymore. [COMPLETED]

When Kirishima Snaps by @explosivenebula (oneshot, protective! kiri) Mineta approaches you once again with his crude language and unnecessary proposals. Kirishima gives a firm impression that he’s not happy, but finally snaps when Mineta refuses to cease his advances, and takes things too far.[COMPLETED]

Kirishima Period Comfort by Frozen_Princess_Shay(oneshot, fluff) our period cramps are trying to kill you. Ejiro noticing something is wrong starts to worry.[COMPLETED]

oranges by wagiyuubeef (ABO verse, fluff, angst, jealousy)You've been by his side for as long as you can remember — from way before either of you even presented — but now it felt like you were slowing losing him to another Alpha who went by the name of Bakugou Katsuki. Or were you?[COMPLETED]

legacy by moegan(oneshot, arrange marriage, fluff, angst, smut)After an arranged marriage to the Prince of Dragons, Kirishima Eijirou, you decide you do not want to live your life in a loveless relationship, so you attempt to get to know him. After some time, you realize that he was keeping something very important from you. How are you supposed to help him if he won’t come clean?[COMPLETED]

[chrisweetheart]

apocalypse

mentions of sex, cursing

the popular mean girl is failing in her classes, her teacher forces her to hire a tutor otherwise she wouldn’t make it into her dream college, what happens when she accidentally falls in love with her tutor?

900+

“your lips, my lips, apocalypse”

7/100.

written in bright red with a circle around it on the front page of my maths paper. i sigh disappointingly and looked up at my teacher. he did not look impressed.

“i swear i tried my best this time!” i dishonestly stated, flapping my paper around and crossing my arms like a child. truthfully, i spent absolutely no time revising or studying for this test, i didn’t even know it was happening until i walked into my maths class a few weeks ago.

“you clearly aren’t trying hard enough, are you? this is your sixth fail in a row.” he said unhappily, “i have also not received any homework from you this week, it was due 2 days ago.” shit we had homework? i don’t understand the point of homework anyway, everyone just googles the answers or uses ai nowadays, including me, when i could be bothered to do it. which was never

“look, if you keep this up then your going to be looking at a rough future for you, young lady, these grades are not good enough to get you into the college of your dreams, miss.” mr adam’s exclaimed whilst neatly tidying up his desk for his next class. he sounded let down.

seriously? i knew i wasn’t doing great in school but i was sure i wasn’t doing that terribly. “look sir i’m sorry, i’ve just been so stressed and caught up with my cheerleading lately, i had no time to revise!”

“your education is more important than your cheerleading.” he stated, very matter-of-factly. i knew it wasn’t, cheerleading was my passion, i was good at it, so that meant i cared about it more, a lot more.

“whatever, i’ll start studying more.” i rolled my eyes discreetly, hoping he wouldn’t notice my annoyed tone.

“it’s too late for that now. i really would recommend you hire a tutor, i’m sure it would help you improve your grades greatly,” mr adam’s replied, his voice laced with genuine concern.

a tutor, are you kidding me? i burst out laughing, “are you serious? i can’t have a tutor, i would be the laughing stock of senior year!” as much as i hated school and didn’t care about my grades, i needed to be perceived as perfect, no one could know i’m secretly dumb. if anyone knew or saw me with a tutor my life would be ruined.

“i know your popularity is very important to you ma’am, but unfortunately you have no choice now i’m afraid. i will be setting you up with a tutor next week, be prepared.” he added and shooed me out his classroom without giving me a chance to complain.

𝜗𝜚

“your fucking kidding me!” i threw my arms up and frowned, about to have a tantrum as i looked down at my phone, staring, almost as if i couldn’t believe it’s true, at an email from mr adam’s.

“it’s okay! it wont be that bad i promise you!” my best friend, emma, stated trying to make me feel better. she knew full well it was absolutely not going to be okay. emma was the one person i could trust with my life, i had a bunch of “friends” but none of them i really liked, i knew they were all fake and using me for my popularity and money, emma would never do that. we are complete opposites but i think that’s what makes us click so well, she is a straight A+ student and has never missed a day of school. opposites attract after all.

“matthew sturniolo? who the fuck even is that? he sounds like a fucking geek with greasy hair and buck teeth! my life is completely ruined, shit!” i yelled out, wanting to collapse and breakdown in the middle of the school corridors.

“sturniolo..” emma said in deep thought, “i recognise that last name from somewhere,” she added gazing off into the distance. “oh wait! it’s those twins last names! you know, chris and nick?” emma blurted out.

chris was the most popular guy in school, i had a small meaningless thing with him when we were in sophomore year but i cut him off before he ever had the chance to fuck me, he probably has about every STD known to mankind, the way he runs through girls faster than i go through energy drinks. he was very attractive though i had to admit and had every single girl at his feet, begging to suck his dick.

nick was also very popular, but not for the same reasons as chris, nick was the one person every single girl in our year wanted to be friends with, he knew all the gossip about everything and everyone. he was also very enticing and basically every girl had a crush on him, although everybody would admire him from afar and not ever dare make a move since he didn’t swing that way.

“i wonder how matt is in relation to them, maybe a distant cousin?” i questioned, not expecting an answer or wanting an answer to be honest.

“i’m not sure, when is your first tutoring session?” emma asked quizzically, while taking books out of her locker and stuffing them messily into her bag.

“today after school in the library,” i groaned dramatically.

“i’ll make sure to keep you in my prayers, now i have to go, i can’t be late, love you!” emma smiled brightly at me and i waved back and sighed as she strutted away confidently, every boy staring at her, drool practically hanging from their lips the way they looked at her, like a predator looking at its prey.

this is going to be a long day.

@ CHRISWEETHEART

⋆˙⟡ tags : @chrattenthusiast @bernardsbendystraws @chestersturniolo @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @freshloverr @fruitglazed @hearts4chriss @kenzieiskoolaid @mattscoquette @ariestrxsh @mattssluttywaist @muwapsturniolo @m6ttsturniolo @nicksbf @onmykneesformatt @plasticferal @pussypie456 @recklesssturniolo @sturnioloshacker @strniohoeee @sturniolopepsi @whoreforchr1s @yesterdaysproblem @christinarowie332 @itwasmarooonn @freakyellssturniolo @delilahsturniolo @333michelle @annielolz @cconeyislandbaby @chriseatingmeoutin4k @n8doe @jetaimevous @sleepysturn @phimstarz @stonersturns @forgottxen

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

the summer moon was born from the waves to be loved (gojo x reader)

or, you got pregnant and the ghost of university days past finds out five years later.

tags: afab!reader (she/her), mentions of pregnancy, sometimes self-care is writing a fic with a messy premise, unbeta’d i’ll go back and fix things i just want this out of my drafts

AO3 || pt 2

o. ghost

This felt like something out of a bad movie.

One of those “yeah, that’s me. The one looking like she just shit herself because the ghost of Christmas past just showed up” kinds of movies. The ghost of Christmas past whom you haven’t seen in the last five years.

The ghost of Christmas past that your daughter looks at curiously, wondering who put you in such a stupor as she asks sweetly, “who’s he, Mommy?”

The ghost of Christmas past whose face is unreadable as he looks at Itsuki before he settles his gaze on you. “Yeah, [First],” the ghost asks. “Who am I?”

Where did I go wrong?

A rhetorical question. 

A lot in life has to go wrong for a man you thought you left in your memories to show up at your doorstep but you can pinpoint the exact moment in time in which you screwed up. It’s all because you sat next to Ieiri Shoko in your mandatory calculus class. If it weren’t for that, none of this would be happening.

No, that isn’t it. Your gaze turns to Itsuki, who looks back at you with familiar light blue eyes and white hair. She may have gotten the Gojou Satoru eye and hair colors, but her hair texture and skin tone both pointed to you. If I sat anywhere else she wouldn’t be here. And even if you knew that sitting next to Shoko meant meeting the world’s most aggravating man you could have fallen for, you feel like you would have taken that path once again.

No, sitting next to Shoko wasn’t where you messed up all those years agoー it was telling her you were pregnant in the first place.

i. spring tide

When you met Gojou Satoru, you considered it a godsend.

Not because his eyes were a rare shade of blue that most would kill to have. Not because he was drop dead gorgeous and the last person you were expecting to see when your classmate Shoko invited you to eat lunch with her and a couple friends.

The reason was a lot more simple thatー he was the first person you’d met in years that had watched and liked Digimon more than Pokemon. I am so glad I sat next to that Shoko girl, you thought in gleeful disbelief as he told you his personal favorites before flipping the question onto you. “I’m basic,” you told him with a laugh. “I’ve been riding the wave of Gatomon love since I was 7.”

Getou Suguru, Satoru’s childhood best friend from what you’d gathered, groaned, “please don’t make him continue with your excitement.”

“Ignore him,” Satoru pushed Suguru’s face away with all the nonchalance in the world. “He thinks Digimon is stupid.”

“It’s a Pokemon bootleg!” Suguru shot back with a sly smile.

In unison, you and Satoru gasped in disbelief and offense. “Boy bye! You can talk all the shit you want about Digimon, I can rest every night at ease knowing if my house were on fire Agumon would be able to say ‘[First], your house is on fire’,” you sneered in jest at the man, Satoru clapping in agreement all the while at your defense. “You don’t get that kind of insurance with Pikachu! ‘Pika pika’ could mean so many things!”

“Where have you been all my life?” Satoru snickered, holding his hand out for a high five you reciprocated with complete enthusiasm.

“Watching Digimon by myself,” you laughed, whipping out your phone. You needed this man’s number stat. “The next time I have a Digimon rewatch, I’m inviting you over. Like, you don’t have the option to refuse, you’ve doomed yourself.”

Satoru’s eyes were gleaming from his lowered shades, “funny, I was about to say the exact same thing to you,” he glanced over at Suguru with a teasing look. “Friendship ended with Suguru, [First] is my new best friend,” the white-haired student declared as he typed his number into your phone.

He labeled himself Digidestined Satoru, sending a text to himself: This is coming from the phone of Digidestined [First]. Your cheeks hurt from how widely you were grinning as you looked at the message. “That better be what you put me in your phone.”

“Definitely, new best friend,” Satoru promised, whipping his own phone around to show your new contact in it. Digidestined [First] it was.

Despite the apparent disownership, Suguru looked amused and unbothered, “okay but see if your ex-best friend takes notes for you if you ever take off from class.” Suddenly your new brother-in-Digimon was singing a different tune, waxing poetic about how Digimon and Pokemon were brothers from different mothers. You rolled your eyes but you’re unmistakably giddy as you watched him talk with his hands.

“There doesn’t need to bad blood between the two,” Satoru ended with a grand bow. “As such, I declare that I can have more than one best friend.”

“How did we even get on the topic of Digimon,” Shoko asked with an amused look on her face, cracking open another beer. “That was so random.”

You grabbed your own beer with a light giggle, you felt rather light compared to how you started this day. “His sunglasses had a Metal Greymon-like pattern and I had to say something about it,” you say after a few sips. “Glad I did because now I have a new brother-in-Digimon.”

Blue eyes held your gaze for a moment and you clacked your cans together in celebration.

That was how your friendship started. Clothed in beer and Digimon. It took about a week before he swept over to your place, seeking out the promise to watch Digimon together. If you can really call what you did watching, you spent more than half of the time talking over the episodes about miscellaneous topics than actually watching Tai and the gang try to get back to the physical world.

He’d known Suguru since he was 5.

(“We got into a fight on the playground. I wanted the swing and he wouldn’t get off. So I kicked him and he threw sand at my face, we’ve been buddies ever since.”

“I have a lot of questions about how y’all went from trying to kill each other to being best friends.”

“Look, don’t question our methods.”)

He was a December Sagittarius, born December 7th.

(”Yeah, I can tell!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”)

He apparently started eating sweets to stimulate his brain but ended up with a sweet tooth.

(“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, did you get that shit from Death Note?!”

“.... no.”

“Oh my god, you did!”

“You literally got a tattoo of a butterfly because of a crush you had on Jolyne from Part 6, shut up!”

“Satoru, don’t play these games with me.”)

He sounded eerily similar to Bruno Bucciarati from part 5 of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

(”Arrivederci!”

“Oh my god that’s insane! You do! Say something else!”

“STICKY FINGERS!!!”

“PFFT-”

“See? I could totally get away with saying I voiced him and no one would bat an eyelash.”

“Who else do you sound like?”

“I’ve been told I make a great impression of Kuroo from Haikyuu!!”

He did, by the way.)

And he was currently enrolled as a business major. 

(“My old man wouldn’t get off my back about it. You?”

“Marine biology.”

“We have that program here?”)

He had a natural charisma that just drew people in, yourself included. That’s why you think it was so easy being with him, he made it feel like you’d been friends all your life even if reality said otherwise. He made everyone feel like that, that’s why he’d always be surrounded by people.

Still, he’d find a way to make you feel special when his eyes would light up in recognition when he saw you wave across the room at parties.

How he’d jig across the room with those lanky limbs of his to grab you in a hug. “[First], you finally made it! Thanks for coming out of the bat cave you call a room to grace us with your presence!”

It made you feel special that you were friends with the person adored by everyone else. That’s why you could playfully push him off of you and say, “you mean the bat cave you crawl to when you lock yourself out of your room and Suguru isn’t in either?”

“I’m hurt, why are you being mean to me?” Satoru pouted batting his white eyelashes like a distressed damsel. “Don’t you know who you’re being mean to when you’re being an ass? This, this is who you’re being mean to,” he gestured to himself.

"Last week you ate my fries after I specifically said not to touch them because I counted how many I had left, I know exactly who I’m being mean to.”

“How was I supposed to know you’d count them again whenever you decided to eat them?” Your irritation from last week had long since passed though, that was why you could laugh it off with a shake of your head. Satoru was Satoru, it was what you liked most about him even if he could be a pain in the ass.

Suguru’s brown eyes twinkled as you joined the small fray of him, Shoko and Utahime in a corner of the room, “I’m just glad I’m not the only one dealing with him anymore.” Satoru suck his tongue out with a ‘rude’.

“Someone has to do the dirty work,” Shoko replied as she raised a cigarette to her lips. “it might as well be us.”

Utahime smacked the tobacco stick out of her girlfriend’s hands as she said, “I’d rather not be included in the list of people of doing the dirty work.”

“Et tu, [First], et tu?” Satoru asked when you made no effort to come to his defense.

You raised your hands in mock defense, “I have to be a little mean to you sometimes, Satoru,” you told him with a snicker. “It keeps you from getting too big an ego.”

Whether or not that was working was debatable.

The night went on smoothly until your favorite brand of beer had been noticeably picked off from the coolers.

That’s my cue to leave.

“Sorry gang, but my lips don’t touch anything but Don Equis and Asahi,” you said with an air of regality not suited for a party of college students. “Maybe Corona if there’s nothing else. I’m not drinking... whatever this is. So I’m gonna head out, there’s a 24 hour liquor store around here somewhere.”

A chorus of farewells came from your friends minus one. “You coming back?” Satoru looked over at you in earnest.

But you shook your head, “nah, I think I’m done for the night,” you told him truthfully. Your social battery was gone for the rest of the evening and home was the only place you wanted to be. “I’ll catch you guys later though,” you stood up with a stretch.

Satoru stood up with you, “I’ll walk you back to your place then.”

Which was how you ended up sipping beers at the park, laying on soft grass. It wasn’t truly quiet, not with the passing of cars and the occasional passersby but it was quiet enough compared to the welcomed ruckus of the party. “Satoru,” Satoru hummed wordlessly in acknowledgement. “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

“Dunno,” Satoru shrugged back pressed against the earth snuggly. “I never really got to think about it.”

He was an only child and as such the only one his parents’ turned their gaze to with pressure of taking over the family business. He confided in you ages ago how he hated it when you started seeing more sides of Satoru than the mischief-loving comedian he presented himself as.

You scooted closer to him to lean over his head, “well I think whatever you end up doing, even if it ends up really pissing off your dad, you’ll be great at it. You’re Satoru, that’s how I know you’ll be fine,” your voice held the tone of a promise. I promise you’ll be fine and you’ll be happy.

Thanks, [First]. You liked to think that was what that look on Satoru’s face meant. “I think you’ll make a great part-time aquarist, full-time whale researcher,” Satoru replied instead.

“You’re damn right I will,” you smiled warmly at him, moving a stray strand of his hair off his forehead. “Be careful I don’t disappear for months, spirited away by the sea folk on my Children of the Sea shit.” You took his sunglasses off, you had no clue how he was able to wear them 24/7. Even stranger was how he was still able to walk so easily at night despite having them on. Apparently the Gojou eye genes were built different; the colors of his eyes certainly were. “I’ll come back to shore occasionally, mysterious as the sea itself.” The sea you got to see every time you looked at his eyes, even if now they were barely visible even with the street lights.

Satoru looked back at you with a small smirk, “even if you got spirited away, I’d just go and bring you right back. Suguru’ll kill me if I try and make him watch Digimon Tamers with me again. You said it first, remember?” His voice was low as he recalled your exact words from your first meeting. “You’ve doomed yourself. There’s no ditching me now, not even at sea.”

“I did say something like that, didn’t I,” you smiled wryly. 

He didn’t say anything back, but you could guess that he was likely thinking something along the lines ‘yep, that you did. No take backsies.’ A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, his eyes staring up at yours. It’s then you swore you saw him glance at your lips from where he laid and just when you considered the idea of kissing himー the sprinklers turned on.

Even worse, in your surprise his head clashed into yours as he tried getting up with a start.

Then there was a dash of bullshit on the side when your beers spilled over into the grass.

Great, you thought as Satoru tossed your emptied cans into a nearby trash can after you got out of the line of fire. You shook your arms, droplets of water flying off your soaked sleeves.

You should have taken that as a major sign from the universe that you would be making a mistake of gargantuan proportions if you kissed that man.

Instead, the two of you looked at each other and laughed. “God I hate this park, why do we even come here? Nothing good ever happens when we do,” Satoru said with a shake of his damp hair.

“This is the first time we’ve ever even come here,” you snickered.

“And see what a great start we’re already having with it?”

“Come on,” you tugged him by the wrist. “Let’s just change at my place, you have some clothes somewhere over there.”

A smarter person would have left it at that once you got home and showered, placing your clothes in the wash. It could have been a pleasant end to the evening, the two of you crashing on the couch while watching some dumb movie you never heard of on Netflix.

But the same atmosphere from the park came back with you when he came out of the bathroom at the same time you planned to knock on it to ask if he wanted something warm to drink. “Oh, sorry-” you say when your fist lightly landed on his chest instead of the door. “I was just gonna ask if you wanted tea or something. I bought your favorite brand of honey.”

“Sure, I’d like that,” he answered but you made no move to go to the kitchen and he made no move to ask when you would.

Who kissed who first, you weren’t sure. It didn’t really hit you that you were kissing until Satoru tore his lips from yours with a pant, “hey how drunk are you because I really just wanna make sure-”

“I’m not,” you pulled his lips back onto yours and Satoru hadn’t wasted time in hoisting you up by the legs.

ii. neap tide

When does one stop sleeping with their friend? You suppose it is probably when you realize you have feelings for them.

You didn’t do that.

If it had been anyone else doing this to themselves, you would have told them to cut the cord while the feelings were still manageable.

Or maybe you at least tell the other party how they felt.

You didn’t do that either.

Maybe that was why it was all catching up to you one day when you woke up feeling like crap. The physical manifestation of your stress coming back to bite you in the ass. Right before the trip you were planning on taking with your friends, you started feeling like crap only exacerbated when Satoru was in your presence.

But you still went despite your physically manifested stress because you’re a pushover. Or more specifically, if it involved Satoru, you folded faster than Sunday morning laundry. You had to when he looked at you in concerned disbelief you were trying to drop out of your plans last minute.

“Satoru, it isn’t the end of the world if I stay home. It’s just a week long break.”

“A week long break from your friends? From me? Your best friend?”

You struggled not to laugh, “last week you said I was kicked from that position because I watched one episode of Love is Blind without you.”

Satoru scowled at the memory, “because that’s our show, we started that together, there’s no watching ahead,” he reprimanded you. “And clearly I’ve forgiven you since you’re back in that position because I can’t believe you’re trying to leave me to survive with a couple and Suguru for a week!”

You puckered your lips and shrugged, “if it’s any consolation, Suguru is your boyfriend like 95% of the time.”

“Well right now Suguru is that asshole Kenjaku’s boyfriend and Kenjaku is supposed to be coming and I do not want to fourth wheel that by myself.”

You flicked his nose softly, “so you want me to third party fourth wheel with you so you don’t have to be alone with two couples?”

Satoru grinned and you stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. “Third party fourth wheel with benefits, yes.”

You stared at him for one, two, three seconds before you relented. “Look, I’m only going because I want the sex, not because I’m happily agreeing to fourth wheel with you.”

Satoru whooped regardless in his victory, “works for me!” He chortled as he went back to scrolling on his phone.

Silence fell over you as fiddled with your pointer finger and thumb.

“Hey,” Satoru spared a glance from whatever he was staring at on twitter. “What are we supposed to be?” Blue eyes grew to the size of saucers and you continued, “Classic no strings attached? Or is this supposed to be going somewhere?”

That made him set down his phone, “why,” he licked his lips before grinning, but it looked forced even to your eyes. “Why are you asking me that so randomly?”

You deserved an Oscar for how smoothly you delivered what came from your mouth. “Well what if the receptionist there is hot? I don’t need to make things between us awkward because it turned out we aren’t on the same page,” you thumbed behind you in the direction of the hotel. “‘What the hell, [First]’,” you deepened your voice, puckering your bottom lip as you whined. “‘I thought we had something special and you fucked the receptionist? What if they end up fucking with our reservation now?!’”

“First of all, that is not what I sound like,” Satoru stuck his tongue out at you but his shoulders were relaxed and subtle he tried to be, you could feel the relief rolling off of him in waves. “Second, fucking the receptionist does sound like a terrible idea because what if they do fuck our reservation because things go south? Just find someone at a club like the rest of us. But fucking someone else is a non-issue, get all the ass you want.”

“Well glad to know I have the Gojou Satoru thumb of approval,” you smiled and Satoru grinned in return, giving you a nudge with his elbow and you nudged him back. Underneath the calm, you were a storm of turbulent emotions. You weren’t surprised, your feelings had been confirmed. This wasn’t a Disney movie. You weren’t Tiana and he wasn’t Naveenー you weren’t going to turn this commitment-phobe into something he wasn’t. Yet the pain of the confirmation echoed in your chest. “Well, not when it comes to the receptionist.”

“Because no one fucks someone with the power of their reservation at their fingertips, that’s like,” Satoru searched his mind for the perfect example. “Handing over the poison to a chef and that chef was the person you were planning on poisoning.” So is continuing to sleep with someone who didn’t want the same things as you.

You couldn’t help laughing at your idiocy, relieved that Satoru took it as a humorous dig at his less than perfect metaphor. “I’m still fucking the receptionist if they’re hot.”

“I hope they’re married and old, how about that?”

“I’ve always liked them with a little salt and pepper. I fucked your prematurely whitening headass, didn’t I?”

“First of all, this is all natural-”

You’ve doomed yourself.

iii. red tide

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

Those are the five stages of grief. It was certainly the steps that you experienced when the fact your period was late hit you while you were floating when Utahime gasped about the sea turning red.

Red tide, it was the first you’d ever seen it. But that excitement or concern about the possibility of what that meant completely subsided as you stared at the reddening shoreline when you realized a noticeable absence of red that week.

There was no way you were late for any particular reason. This was one of those flukes, your period always had a tendency to be finicky. It would be early or late at its convenience, never mind you being the one suffering. That’s why it was absolutely ludicrous that you left the beach to buy a pregnancy test.

And if you were the word you refused to think, it was your own damn fault for playing with karma the one time you decide to trust Satoru’s pullout game. Both of you were stupid, very very turned on and stupid and you should have just waited to get a condom.

But in the chance you weren’t pregnant, you swore you were going to remain celibate the rest of your university experience. You’d focus on other things, like journaling consistently like you said you would when you were writing your New Year’s revolutions.

Bargaining means nothing to biology, however, that was what you took as the universe’s answers when you were forced to look at the positive result staring back at you.

A lot of thoughts would run through a person’s head at an unplanned pregnancy resulting from a very ill-advised friends with benefits relationship.

Were you still in depression? Or had you reached acceptance yet? You weren’t entirely sure as you stared out the sparkling sea. Your sight blurring the stars above and the stars below did little reassure you as the possibilities ran through your mind.

What would you tell Satoru?

How would he react?

Would he think this was why you asked him about where your relationship was supposed to be heading?

Would assume the worst of you and accuse you of trying to trap him into a relationship when it was clearly supposed to be no strings attached from the beginning?

You didn’t know which unknown would hurt you more.

I should really decide on whether or not I’ll keep it to begin with before I start with all the scenarios, you inhaled deeply with shudder but you didn’t bother to wipe your tears. The blurriness was your own punishment. If I don’t, I never have to tell him anything. We can just cut this off and he’ll be none the wiser.

It was the most optimal scenario when you were still in college. You were barely handling the fees you currently had to pay for school, a child definitely wouldn’t help with that.

Was it too late to find something unhealthy to use as a coping mechanism?

“Yo,” you could have laughed bitterly. Of course, this is when Satoru shows up now. Right after you’ve isolated yourself away from everyone else on the more populated part of the beach. He was grinning, you could hear it in his voice. “[Fir]- hey are you alright?”

Great.

“Yeah, it’s just, you ever see something so beautiful you want to cry? It’s one of those things,” when he looked unsure, you grinned widely and wiped your tears. You didn’t need him to suspect a damn thing. “Seriously, dude, this was the reason I wanted to go into marine biology as a kid. I saw a picture of it once and decided, I wanna see that too. It’s just a surreal moment for me.”

At your reassurance, Satoru sighed, “geez, don’t freak me out like that.” You snorted as he settled next to you and you couldn’t think of anything humorous to say.

“Pretty cool, right?” The blue of the bioluminescence was reminiscent of his eyes, the thought crossed your mind now that he was in front of you.

Satoru whistled, impressed, “yeah but what is it?” He slapped a foot down on the ground, whistling again at the additional sparkling at the stimulus. “You’re the marine biologist, explain the science to me.”

“Sea sparkle,” you told him with a snort, heart drumming all the while. “I never thought I’d see something like this in my life. Red tides are signs of algal blooms are going to happen. They can be harmful but sometimes, completely harmless. This is the completely harmless kind,” a sparkling wave rolled across your feet as if to prove your point. “Well, technically harmless, there’s some conflicting evidence on whether or not it’s okay to swim in. We shouldn’t touch or swim in it to be safe. It’s just been a childhood dream of mine to do this, so don’t tell my friends in the not-dumb-scientist community. And wash your skin really really well tonight before going to bed.”

A grin blossomed on his face in his usual expression of mischief, “I ain’t no snitch.”

“Good because if you do I’m telling Shoko it was you that ate her leftovers,” you stuck your tongue out petulantly and Satoru kicked a splash at your thigh.

“Anyways,” Satoru drawled, observing the glow of his footsteps in the sand. “How long will it last?”

“It depends, sometimes a week. Sometimes a month,” definitely longer than the two of you and the situationship you’ve maintained thus far. “Once the food source runs out, they’re out. But hopefully they’ll be here the rest of our vacation, it’s pretty cool, right?”

“Yep, pretty damn cool,” he repeated like you hadn’t already asked that question earlier.

Satoru wasn’t yours, nothing was going to change that.

iv. ebb

If I’m not going to tell him, I need to leave.

That was the conclusion you came to after ultimately deciding to keep your child. Gojou Satoru wasn’t yours to keep, that was more than apparent. You wouldn’t force him to stay by means of a pregnancy.

You weren’t the first single mother in existence, you doubted you’d be the last. You’d do everything, without his help. Everything would be figured out in due time, it didn’t matter the run around you would have to take.

It took a week after the trip for you to come to that conclusion, packing your bags so you could head home. You’d transfer to a different school, there was no way you’d be able to keep a pregnancy underwraps on campus. Especially not from your friends.

You tried to distance yourself from your friends slowly, but even an inch was noticeable.

You alright?

What kind of sadists are your professors if you’re this busy?

Just let me know if you need me to come over some kind of distraction. Sorry for coming over earlier unannounced, I shouldn’t have assumed. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Those were the texts Satoru sent you the most. If any your friends doubted you, it seemed Satoru doubted you the most despite your reassurance that once you got your workload more manageable you’d be more available. You told him things were fine, maybe he just doubted you because you never told him he couldn’t come over whenever he felt like it. That was how things had been since you became friends.

Your place was his place, his place was yours.

That’s why Shoko had to be at your apartment, arms crossed and looking thoroughly tired.

“What’s been up with you anyway?” Shoko barged into your apartment before you could stop her. “Satoru’s been driving me insane asking me to check on you.” So she said, but you saw the worry on her face even if she tried to hide it. “So what’s going on? He says he’s pretty sure something is going on and you don’t want to tell him. Are you failing a class or something?”

“Nothing,” you told her a little too quickly and the brunette gave you a look that said ‘girl, please’. If your attempt to look as composed as possible wasn’t doing you favors, neither was how messy your room was. “Seriously, Shoko, I’m fine. Satoru’s just being overdramatic. It’s Satoru, you should know this. He went to your clinic once for almost breaking a nail.”

Shoko rolled her eyes at the memory, “yeah but now he’s pestering me to see if you’re actually fine or if you’re just trying to shut him out,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before the concern peeps out of her face. “He said once in high school Suguru pushed him away and stuff went bad between them for a while. He felt like it was his fault for not trying hard enough to see what was bothering him. The rest of us are being chill about everything but we are worried too, you know. Just considerably less dramatically than others.”

That made your heart twist in both in the best and worst ways.

“It’s...” you took a step back and held yourself. “It’s fine. Tell Satoru he’s just being dramatic.”

“Then why is your suitcase out?” [Color] stared into brown as Shoko’s look told you that she wouldn’t drop it until you came clean to her. “Is it that serious? I won’t force you to talk about it, but I at least want to know how okay you are and it’s something you can manage on your own. That’s all, I promise I won’t say anything to Satoru if you really don’t want him knowing,” she’s the most gentle you’ve ever seen her. Only Utahime is privy to the softest of Shoko’s expressions but you can’t help but appreciate the look of worry she has. But I don’t want you to just up and disappear on us either.”

You opened your mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “I,” you licked your lips and sat down on your couch. “I’m thinking of transferring to another school.”

Shoko peers into your face, “and you’re worried about how we’ll take it?”

You shook your head. “I am worried about that but, I’m more worried about the why I need to leave. My parents will probably freak out too, but I’m going to promise them this isn’t going to stop me from pursuing my education.” Wide as her eyes already were, Shoko’s eyes were practically the size of dinner plates. You cut her off before she could say anything else. “I’m pregnant. I found out on the trip we took.”

...

“It’s Satoru’s,” it wasn’t a question.

Your silence was enough of an answer.

“You’re plan was to transfer schools because you don’t want to tell him you’re pregnant?” Shoko’s eyes were wide and you looked away from her. “[First], you can’t expect me to not tell him about-”

Your eyes snapped back to look at her, “you can’t tell him about this.”

Shoko shook her head, “this isn’t just your kid-”

“I’m the one who’s pregnant, I’m the one who decides what to do with it! It’s none of his business!”

Shoko probably would have slapped you if you weren’t expecting, “it’s his kid too, of course it’s his business!”

“Fine,” you muttered coldly, fixing your friend with a cold stare. “I’ll tell him if you can tell me you genuinely think it’s going to go well. That you can really Gojou Satoru dropping everything to become a father for a kid he never planned on having with someone he never planned on being with. Satoru who can’t commit to a relationship at best or won’t commit at worst,” you remember his genuine fear and subsequent genuine relief. “Hell, that he won’t think I tried babytrapping him because I asked him recently if he saw what we had going anywhere and he clearly didn’t want that.”

Shoko couldn’t say anything.

You shook your head with a humorless huff, “yeah, that’s what I thought too.” You paused to close your eyes and inhale deeply before looking at your friend once more. “I’m not telling him anything. I don’t need his help to raise this baby, I can do this myself.”

Shoko eyes are dark and you knew she was second guessing everything. “[First]-”

“You can’t tell him anything. Not even Suguru, especially not Suguru. He’d tell him right away.” Suguru was your friend, he was a great friend even. But you knew where his loyalties lied. He’d tell Satoru in a heartbeat. “Please,” you pleaded. “I’m asking you as your friend.”

Shoko reached for the pack of cigarettes sticking out of her pocket before dropping her hand to the side. Right, your pregnancy. 

You looked at her in desperation, biting your lip. “Please, I’d never ask you this if it wasn’t important. Satoru doesn’t want me,” your eyes stung at the admission even if you accepted that truth ages ago. “Not the way I want him.”

“I,” Shoko released a shaky breath. “I won’t say anything. I promise.”

You dropped out of school without a word to your friends before the month ended.

v. moon

五条・五月。

Gojou Itsuki; you considered writing that on her birth certificate when she was born. Instead, it was your last name Itsuki received.

五, that was the only part of Satoru you would give her, the ‘five’ in Gojou. You promised that little girl you would love her five times as much for his absence.

vi. flow

That all brought you back to now in the present, Gojou Satoru sitting beside you on a park bench while you daughter looked nervously between you both. “Go on then,” you sweep your hand in the direction of the swings. “I’ll be sitting right here, okay? Have some fun with the other kids.”

Yet like moth to a flame, the man with snowy white hair is all your daughter can focus on. “But who is he?”

Satoru opens parts his lips and you beat him to the introductions, “he’s just an old friend of Mama’s, that’s all. Like Aunt Shoko. We haven’t seen each other in a while and we just want to catch up, that’s all. Right?” You shoot Satoru a pleading look.

“That’s right,” Satoru beams. “Maybe I can push you on the swings later.” That makes Itsuki grin back widely. She looks so much like him that there is no denying who she is to him. You know it and so does he.

The smile drops the moment Itsuki is out of an earshot. “You really never planned to tell me about her,” his eyes that normally remind you of crystal clear seas look more akin to frigid chips of ice as he looks at you. “You stop talking to me, you block me on everything out of nowhere and when you dropped out of school, I had no idea where you were-”

“Satoru, you have to understand,” you start, it sounds weak even to you.

Satoru looks at you with a look of pure offense. You can read his mind clearly, “What is there to understand?”

“This was the best outcome for everyone involved. You, me and Itsuki.”

“That isn’t the kind of thing you decide on your own, it takes two to make a child, [First]!”

“We’re not arguing in front of my daughter, Gojou Satoru.”

“No,” the smile that spreads across Satoru’s face is feral. You’ve seen that smile before, one he had whenever he was on the brink of swinging and starting a fight. Never before had that smile been directed at you. “She’s our daughter. My daughter. And I had to find out from Shoko five years after she’s been born that she ever existed in the first place!”

“Like you wanted to be a father anyway,” you hiss, glancing at the growing concern on Itsuki’s face.

“You didn’t even bother asking me what I wanted,” Satoru snaps back. “I would have helped. I want to help.”

“I didn’t want or need your help then and I sure as hell don’t need it now,” you stand up, swinging your wrist away from the large hand that tries to stop you. “You aren’t even her birth certificate,” Satoru flinches like you shot him. “Not your name, not your birthday, not anything. Itsuki’s never even asked about her father,” a lie. It isn’t nearly so frequent as to be considered a problem, but Itsuki did ask about the whereabouts of her father every so often. “It’s just us, Itsuki, I keep telling you that.”

“Do I have another mommy then?”

“No, it’s just us.”

Still, she asks. But Gojou Satoru didn’t need to know about that. “Just go the hell away and leave us alone. I’m not asking for your help, I’ve been doing this alone so far and I plan to keep it that way.”

You take Itsuki home, telling her not to mind the sad-looking man you left on the bench.

“Before you say anything," Shoko starts when she answers the phone. “I know you’re pissed off.”

“No shit,” you all but seethe at your closest friend. Itsuki is asleep and it takes all of your willpower to not turn a firm but loud whisper into shrieks of hysteria. “Shoko, what the-”

“[First], I had to tell him,” Shoko sighs and you can practically smell the nicotine through. “I get it, you were scared back then but Satoru deserved to know he is a father. Itsuki deserves a chance to get to know her father!”

“You don’t get to decide what my kid needs,” you retort immediately. “We have been doing just fine without him in our lives and that’s how I wanted to keep it. Now she keeps asking about the man with the white hair and why he looked so sad and-”

“This isn’t one of those situations where you had a surrogate and did this all on your own, [First]. And he isn’t some random stranger you met some campus party years ago, this is a friend! Why on earth would you tell him that you never put him on the birth certificate.”

“Was. He was a friend,” you correct her. You push back the memories of late night study sessions gone awry by Satoru shoving his phone in your face to show you some video in his recommended list. You ignore the creeping reminders of sharing shit-eating grins, waiting for the moment Suguru learned that you changed his autocorrect for chocolate into something stupid. “We haven’t been friends in years, we’re just old school acquaintances at this point. You know why I never told him about her. And I said it so he would have an out; he doesn’t need to stick around to be her father.”

“And what if she gets tired of you skirting around her questions about him?” Shoko shoots back without giving you a moment to reply that you would handle it if it ever got to the point that it became a problem. “You might be able to skirt around it now but when she gets older she is going to ask and ask and askー and she is going to keep on asking before she does research of her own! There was no way you’d be able to keep this a secret for the rest of her life, what were you planning to do then?!”

“... I was going to figure that out by then.”

“Right and that was going to go by so smoothly and Itsuki wouldn’t feel hurt or betrayed you took away the choice for her to get to know her dad. That could ruin your entire relationship with her.”

“You couldn’t have at least asked?!”

“You never let me! I’m sorry, I’m sorry I betrayed your trust and said things behind your back. I told him to at least let me call and tell you that he knew, but he wanted to meet Itsuki.”

“I just...” your back hit the wall and you slid to the floor, resting your head on your knees. “I don’t know what to do. I didn’t think I would ever see him again.”

There’s silence when Shoko hesitates to reply to your tired voice, “look, I get it. As much as I can try to get it, anyway.” There is only so much that your child-free doctor of a friend can relate to when it comes to your situation. Things worked out perfectly for her when she fucked a friend, Utahime and Shoko’s names were written in the stars. You only admit your envy on lonely nights when thoughts of university days past make a reappearance.

“Satoru is a lot of things. He’s a clown, he’s insufferable and he’s Gojou Satoru that’s enough trouble as it is,” much to your chagrin, you can’t help snorting at her comment. “But he should have a chance to get to know his daughter. You’re a great mom, you’ve been doing great without him. I’ve seen you handle everything, you even went back to school to get your degree. You’ve got the job, everything. I’m not trying to say you need his help, I just want you to be open to the idea of letting him get to know her.”

You think of Itsuki and her questions and the look of hurt that graced Satoru’s face earlier that afternoon. “I don’t want Itsuki to get attached to him only for him to take off,” but a bitter taste fills your mouth at your words. I’m only using Itsuki as an excuse, you can only admit to yourself. The one who doesn’t want to see her father is me.

Fearful you may have been, it was no excuse to keep her away from her father.

“If he does that, I’ll kill him myself. But he wants to be there,” Shoko promises, her voice the softest its been the entire conversation. “He wants to get to know her. She looks just like him.”

She does.

You grab a baby wipe, rolling your eyes in amusement, “Itsuki, you’re getting syrup all over your face, hold still,” gently, you wipe away the sugary mess on her face before it dries and becomes even stickier. Itsuki always leaves the table looking like she’s been off to war. “You definitely don’t get your messy eating habits from me. Let me clean your hands and the fork too.”

Itsuki’s eyes sparkle curiously, “is Daddy a messy eater?”

You look at your daughter, her white hair pulled into pigtails by pastel knockerballs and her blue eyes that sparkle with hope that you’ll have some sort of answer as to the mystery of her secret parent she doesn’t realize she’s already met. “Yeah,” you whisper softly, the ghost of smile on your lips. “He got pretty messy whenever we ate.”

“Really?”

“Yep, and he would always steal the chips out of my bag whenever he thought I wasn’t looking,” you smile knowingly. He isn’t the only one guilty of such a crime. “Kinda like how someone always takes extra bites out of my pudding cups when she thinks I’m not looking.” Itsuki erupts into giggles as you pinch her cheeks now free of syrup. “You really want to meet your papa, don’t you,” you ask almost weakly, resting your hand on the table.

With a nod of excitement, Itsuki answers your question with an unmistakable yes.

“What if Mommy brings Daddy to pick you up from daycare soon? Would you like that?”

Itsuki gasps in disbelief, “Really?!”

Your nerves don’t show as you grin in return, “really.”

The first few rings you wait for Satoru to pick up the phone later in the day are painful.

I should have just asked Shoko to do this, you pace anxiously in the employee parking lot of your job. A childish part of you wishes you had asked your friend seeing as she had already spilled the beans to you. But you remember the more than subtle tone in her voice when she mentioned the other day that Satoru’s number hadn’t changed in all the years you spent out of his life. He’s the father of your child, [First], you scold yourself. Get a grip.

A second later when he picks up the line, you almost hang up in a panic.

“... Hey, [First],” he sounds like he’s grinning but it lacks his usual bravado. “You didn’t change your number.”

“Neither did you,” you reply nervously, fiddling with the fabric of your uniform as the expected awkward silence filled the air. Five years ago, Satoru was one of the easiest people in the world to talk to. Annoying and arrogant at times, most of the times even, but still easy. He spoke his mind clearly; it’s hard reconciling that person with the silence on the other side of the phone. “I shouldn’t have kept Itsuki from you,” you finally begin. “And I shouldn’t have said what I did yesterday, you have a right to be mad at what I did. I’m sorry.”

Satoru’s sigh is slow, “why didn’t you tell me in all these years? If Shoko never said anything, were you really not going to tell me about her at all?”

“Can we not-”

“No, I get to know why you didn’t want to let me know I had a daughter,” Satoru’s voice hardens and you know that running away isn’t an option. Old habits seem to die hard. “You didn’t even tell me you were pregnant.”

“I was scared, okay?” Scared and pathetically in love with someone who didn’t want you back. “I didn’t know how you were going to react... and I didn’t know if you would want to be part of the baby’s life if I decided to keep it. We weren’t even a couple. I freaked out and thought this was best course of action.”

“I would have helped, I would have been there. We were friends, [First],” you can’t tell if he sounds more angry or sad with your younger self’s line of reasoning. “You really thought I would have let you done everything on your own? I would have had your back from day one.”

“.... I’m sorry, I can’t take it back but I’m sorry,” you rest your back against the side of your car. The breeze on your skin doesn’t calm you as much as you’d like.

Satoru sighs again and he’s quiet, contemplative and your heart races wondering what is going through his mind. Would he curse you? Maybe he would take you to court for his parental rights. Instead, Satoru peacefully asks, “what’s she like?”

“Adorable,” your lips quirk slightly at the thought of your child. “I’m pretty sure Shoko’s probably shown you some pictures, so you probably know that already.” Painfully adorable and the entire world knew it, it’s a blessing she isn’t nearly as much of a troublemaker as her father. If she were, you don’t doubt Itsuki would get away with most of her ‘crimes’. “She’s a sweet girl, if she sees a caterpillar on the neighbor’s strawberries, she’ll pick it up and ask if we can take it to the park so it can eat there instead.”

You both share a laugh at that. “She’s smart too, she just sucks things up like a sponge. And she’s popular at daycare, you know,” she gets it from her father, that is easy to admit. Satoru definitely surpasses everyone you know, yourself included, when it comes to attracting people to him. Even when he’s annoying you can’t help but be drawn in. “She’s good at making friends, always looks out for the ones there who have a harder time connecting with people.”

“It’s nice to know she got all her charm and good looks from me,” Satoru chuckles smugly. “It’s a no-brainer the people love her, I expect nothing less from my kid.”

“Oh shut up,” yet you can’t deny his claim. She is Gojou Satoru’s daughter through and through. “She’s a lovable kid; Itsuki was born for it.”

“Was Itsuki the only name in the running?”

“It’s a pretty name, isn’t it? There were others in the running though,” you count down on your fingers the various options you ultimately decided against. “Itsuki stuck out the best.”

“What characters did you use to write her name?”

“The characters for ‘Five’ and ‘Moon’,” you answer softly, remembering the various combinations you could have gone with. Ultimately, there was only one that you could have gone with. “I got the idea from your last name, I... I wanted her to have a part of you with her even if she didn’t know you.”

There’s a pause then a shaky breath. “Gojou Itsuki,” Satoru says finally, sounding a million miles away despite being just on the other line.

“She has my name,” you tell him gently.

“I know,” Satoru replies softly yet there’s a tinge of emotion you can’t quite place. Melancholy? Acceptance? Perhaps a little bit of both. “I just wanted to try it out.”

Silence falls over you both again and you hug yourself despite the sweltering heat of the afternoon. Shoko is right, your secret wasn’t one that was sustainable. “Do you,” your lips suddenly feel too dry and you lick your lips. “Do you want to pick her up from daycare with me today? She wants to meet you, she always has. She even asked about you this morning.”

He does. It shouldn’t surprise you that he does and it doesn’t. Still, your heart pounds when you see him show up at the daycare your daughter spends a large portion of her time at. “Hi,” you greet him nervously.

“Hey,” even though he’s grinning, his smile is a bit off kilter. A sugary pink bag hangs from one his arms. “I uh, didn’t know exactly what sort of things she like but I got her a present. You said she’s really into whale sharks, right? So I got her a plush.”

You don’t have the heart to tell him Itsuki already has five. She’d love his gift anyway. Maybe the one he got her would become her favorite.

“She might adore that more than you,” you joke but you give him a nod a beat later. “But don’t worry about what happened last time. She’ll be happy to see you in a better mood, she was worried about you when we left the park.” Maybe that was the father-daughter bond at work, or maybe it was your child’s empathetic nature.

Maybe both.

You already discussed things with him after he agreed to come meet her properly. He could get to know Itsuki, could even meet the daycare attendants. It would just be a while before you’d be able to trust him with being an emergency contact.

“Hey, Choso,” you wave at the man with pigtails. Intimidating as he looks, his daycare is surprisingly popular due to the low rates. He wanted a place where his youngest brother could grow up happily with his friends. “This,” you start before Choso can question you, gesturing to Satoru. “... This is Itsuki’s father. You’ll uh, probably see him coming around a lot more when I pick her up from now.”

There’s a lengthy pause.

“Nice to meet you,” Choso’s tone says otherwise. If it were possible, Choso’s face would be place right under the definition of judgement. He is definitely deeming Satoru a deadbeat that was finally crawling out from the woodworks.

Satoru ignores it with the air of confidence he didn’t have a few minutes ago outside, “thanks for looking after my kid while [First] was busy. I haven’t been around but I’m hoping to make up for all the lost time.”

You doubt that was meant to be a dig, you still take it as one. “Itsuki’s playing with Yuuji and the rest of their friends right now. You’ll see her at the playground,” he gestures at the infant in his hands. “I have a diaper to change.”

“Don’t worry, I got it,” you wave. “And tell Kechizu that he needs to stop cooking better than me. The other day Itsuki said she liked his lunches more than mine.” That manages to get a snicker out of the man. 

“Itsuki!” You call out once you’re on the playground and you see her eyes light up with recognition and a ‘Mommy!’ Even funnier is her little excited jig before she runs over to hug you although she stops as she recognizes the man beside you.

She glances between the two of you and you smile reassuringly. “Why are you getting so shy? Don’t you remember what I promised at breakfast?”

Itsuki’s eyes widen and her jaw drops wordlessly. You suppose she might not have truly been expecting you’d make good on your promise. At least, definitely not so soon.

“Itsuki, this is Satoru, your father,” you tell her gently, smile small. “Although I suppose, you already met him yesterday. It just didn’t go at all the way it was supposed to.” But what was done was done; Itsuki deserved to know her father. You wouldn’t take away that choice because of your own fears anymore.

“Daddy?” Itsuki asks Satoru, voice just above a whisper.

Satoru nods, settling down on one knee to look her in those familiar blue eyes. “That’s right, kiddo,”

“Daddy?!” Itsuki hops in disbelief, looking between the two of you before her eyes settle on yours again. “It’s really Daddy?!” You aren’t sure if Itsuki knows whether she wants to cry or run away in disbelief that this moment is finally happening.

You knelt beside your old friend, “say hi to your father, Itsuki.”

The tears suddenly well in her eyes but despite Satoru’s panicked voice, you can tell they aren’t sad ones as Itsuki throws her arms over Satoru’s shoulders. And if your eyes are warmer than they were a few moments ago, you don’t mind it as you watch you’re daughter hug her father for the first time.

Itsuki adores Satoru, that’s what you learn in the span of a single afternoon. And yes, she does love the whale shark plush he got her more than the other five you already purchased. She cried even harder when he hugged her back, softly promising he wasn’t going anywhere. That he’d always be there and he would come see her as much as she wanted.

She adores how he took her out for ice cream before dinner and how even after dinner, he purchased even more dessert. 

He was weak to her with no immunity built up over the past five years.

This was why he couldn’t say no when she pleaded he stayed over to at least watch a movie with her before bedtime. Not that you had any room to talk considering how easily you agreed.

“So she had to get Merlin’d?” Satoru asks incredulously as the credits roll across the screen.

“That is not what was supposed to happen, the beautiful girl is subjective to the one who got cursed!” You tell him, flabbergasted that that was the conclusion he came to. Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarves is far more than a comedy. It’s social commentary! “Not to mention the body positive message it sends with the fact that shoes represent societal standards of beauty along with the objectification and idolization Snow experiences while wearing them which further supported the fact that had she had gone to the F7 as herself they wouldn’t have he-”

“Nope, too late. I like my idea better,” you could strangle this man.

“You’re going to ruin Itsuki’s perception of love,” you shoot Satoru a look of amusement and annoyance. At the very least, you know he enjoyed it.

“Good, I don’t need some snot-nosed brat trying to win over my kid that’s obviously aroace,” Satoru says firmly as he picks up your very much fell-asleep-before-the-movie-ended daughter. It’s almost uncanny how natural it looks to you, like he had been around from the start. He probably should have been. You were the one who took that choice from him and made him an unintentional deadbeat.

“Satoru, she’s five and doesn’t even know what that means yet,” you say instead, Satoru oblivious to the thoughts running around your head. One day you’d tell Itsuki the truth, once she was a little older.

“What? She told me she was aroace when I asked earlier today,” Satoru tells you petulantly, moving away when you try to hold her. 

“Only because you told her you’d give her ice cream if she agreed to be,” ice cream she wasn’t even supposed to eat because it would spoil her appetite for dinner in a moment you weren’t supposed to see. “It means you’ll love Daddy forever and think everyone else is gross,” Satoru happily exclaimed, holding a cup of Itsuki’s favorite salted cookie dough ice cream. The five year old happily obliged to his whims.

Maybe Satoru will be right in his hopeful predictions that romance will be the last thing on your daughter’s mind in the future thought. On the other hand, maybe he’d be dead wrong and forced to tolerate whoever she brings home in the future.

“They’re just like you, Dad, but they’re brilliant!” She’ll say, hearts in her eyes.

You almost wanted to manifest the opposite of his wishes, only to see the face Satoru would make. It is far too early to be thinking about such things however.

“I don’t want my kid to date anyone, sue me. So I’m manifesting early,” Satoru pouts as he starts takes her to her room to lay her across her bed.

“You’re so stupid,” you roll your eyes and shake your head in exasperation, but a look of fondness is apparent in your expression.

Maybe you were born to see this moment, the moment you could see that Gojou Satoru is absolutely smitten with his daughter. You can see it in how he presses a kiss to the temple of her forehead as he takes her to his room.

Itsuki was born to be loved, she makes it too easy just by being herself. Suddenly your fears from before felt unfounded. You knew underneath the rejection of Satoru in your life that he would have been there and he would have been more than happy to shoulder the burdens of parenthood even in a platonic way. You stop yourself from wondering what that path might have looked like. You made your choice and this is path you’re on now, there is no other way but forward.

“I’ll have you know,” Satoru points a finger gun at you smugly when he returns, child-free, “my kid thinks I’m the smartest man in the world. So one of you is lying and I know it’s not her.”

“Your kid is biased and spoiled from snacks and gifts,” you retort softly with a grin.

“I don’t hear the voices of the naysayers praying for my downfall, sorry,” you both release a chuckle at your exchange and a comfortable silence falls between you both. “I should probably get going I guess.”

You smile at him politely, “we should do this again sometime, I wanna see what else in our movie collection Itsuki will have you watch next.”

Satoru grins, “it better be the Digimon reboot DVD set I saw in the corner,” he pauses before asking you seriously, “our kid does like Digimon, right?”

“You’ll be happy to know that her favorites are Palmon, Kokomon and Wormmon in that order,” you tell him smugly. How could he think otherwise? Did he forget who you were? “The plushies are just in the toy chest she has at the foot of her bed.”

Your child had to be a fan of Digimon, she had no other choice.

Pt 2 Here

translation:

五月 five moons

五 five (same character in Gojou 五条)

月 moon

[drunk-person]

Dynasty (The Gossip) P.7

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x cousin!reader

Summary: One of the most talked about gossips among the lower class servants in Kings Landing is the fact (or not) that Aemond Targaryen got involved with his cousin Y/n Targaryen when they were both teenagers. Mainly due to the fact that at the age of 17 she was sent to Old Town overnight. Some employees claim that Aemond was caught between her legs. Some say that, like her father, she had had a horrible fight with her uncle and aunt and was sent away. And other than that none of this happened, she just became interested in the course offered at the Old Town conservatory. But now five years later, Y/n Targaryen is back, and rumors haunt those who favor them.

This chapter is a part of a main story The gossip, you can find the previous chapter, summary and general tags by accessing the link.

Summary of the chapter: The return to Kings Landing may not bring everything that Aemond and Y/n expected, since life does not always favor the choices of those born into a dynasty.

Warnings of the chapter: 18+, family fights, dysfunctional family, I don't know what warnings to put up today, no description for reader.

Word count: 9.800 k

A/n: Ok this chapter was a little hard to write and I told myself I would stop editing it or it would never see the light of the Internet hahaha. For those who want to follow the soundtrack in this chapter we have a bit of Two Ghosts by Harry Styles and then Dynasty by MIIA. I hope you like it, and continue to like me after this.

"Hey, hey Kings Landing, apparently Aemond Targaryen was seen on the beach in Lys over the weekend. It was not reported whether he was accompanied or not, but we all know that no one goes to Lys unaccompanied, and everyone who goes there does not intend to be seen. Could this be the reason for Floris Baratheon's disaffection?"

❦❦❦

The trip back to Kings Landing was nothing but peaceful. And while still on the plane, Aemond smilingly decided that the cat's name would be Vhagar, just like the ancient Valyrian goddess, which Y/n vehemently approved. The two landed in the early hours of Monday, and with Aemond still excited, they went to a 24-hour veterinary clinic, where Vhagar could be examined and properly vaccinated. When the two returned with her to the car, she was much cleaner, although her fur was still dull. And Aemond had bought special food, a bed and toys for cats.

Vhagar was slightly scared when she arrived at Aemond's apartment, since she had never been in that environment. And as soon as Aemond opened the transport box, she hid under the bookshelf in the living room and refused to leave, which Aemond respected, letting her adapt.

The next morning, Aemond had to use all the willpower he had in him to get out of bed after having slept for about two hours. Y/n's warm body next to his in bed looked so attractive, covered in nothing but a black cotton shirt that she had taken from his closet. And all he wanted was to cling to her and spend the whole morning just breathing deeply against her neck.

Reluctantly, Aemond got up without waking her and took a shower. As he got dressed for the day, her voice called him softly and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up with that sweet sound.

-Are you already going to work? - Her hair was messy and her face was slightly crumpled as she stared at him and Aemond walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, pulling her in for a soft kiss.

-Mmmm. - He murmured positively and almost felt faint when she crossed her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and leaving another kiss.

-If you need to talk to me, just give me a call. - Aemond spoke against her neck after breaking the kiss, pointing to the phone he had brought from the living room and left on the bedside table and Y/n nodded positively with a smile.

-Did you leave your number? - She frowned slightly.

-It's still the same as always. - He shrugged. - I never changed it.

Y/n just smiled and left a soft kiss on his chin before Aemond got up and headed for the door.

-See you later.

❦❦❦

Aemond was visibly tired when he arrived at the company that morning, and all he wanted was to have stayed cuddled with Y/n in bed at least until 11. In his slight distraction caused by sleep, he barely noticed the eyes following him as soon as he entered the main hall of the Targaryan, everyone inadvertently noticing the not-so-subtle tan on his always white skin, denouncing the veracity of the speculations pointed out early in the morning in the gossip magazines and blogs.

As soon as he got off the elevator on the floor where his and Aegon's offices were, the secretaries' eyes landed curiously on his skin, and soon after the two quickly looked at each other with slightly anxious eyes.

-Any message for me? - Aemond asked, already heading towards his own office.

-No message, sir, just some late reports from last week that are on your desk. - Lizze replied quickly while nodding her head negatively.

-Mmmm, good… - He then stopped in the middle of the way - When you order my lunch, order the same as you ordered for me, but swap the meat for fish or chicken and have it delivered to my apartment.

-Yes sir. - Lizze quickly wrote down what he said so as not to run the risk of forgetting. And as soon as the door to Aemond's office closed she whispered to Sana.

-Last Friday she made that exact same order for me. - Lizze leaned over the table as she spoke and Sana just drummed her fingers on the table while laughing and waggling her eyebrows at Lizze.

-So we already know where she's spending the day. - Sana whispered back laughing. - Did you see his skin? He looks like a walking shrimp! He must have been frying in the Lys sun all weekend.

-Well we have a good idea of ​​who was keeping him company. - Lizze bit her lip, a little guilty for making such statements, even though she knew they were probably true.

-You mean we're sure, right? - Sana rolled her eyes, laughing.

-What I really know is that she's been back less than a week and in that time my workload has decreased by 50% and I got a raise, I hope she never leaves! - Lizze concluded with a mischievous smile as she answered a call.

❦❦❦

Aemond gave an irritated look at his desk as soon as he entered the office, he hated delays with almost every ounce of his being. And after reading to make sure everything was right and finally being able to finish his own reports, he decided to personally deliver the papers to his father in the presidency.

He usually didn't go to Viserys' office very often, only when strictly necessary, but he was in a good mood and it wouldn't cost him anything to go there and deliver such important documents.

-You look happy. - Viserys said, looking at his son with a slight smile as he approached the desk and Aemond frowned in confusion since he had the same serious look as always. - It's good to see you like this.

-Mmmm. - He murmured, lowering his gaze, a little embarrassed as he usually was when interacting with his father.

-The technical data reports for this month. - He placed the first folder on the table. - And sector growth reports.

-Very good. - The older man nodded positively while analyzing the papers. - Good work Aemond.

Aemond just nodded, almost letting out a sideways smile as he left while Viserys stared at his son's back, a little apprehensive about the reason for his apparent happiness. The cloud of melancholy that hovered around him seemed to have dissipated overnight, and the patriarch was slightly worried that his wife was right in her concerns.

❦❦❦

The sun was already a little high in the sky when Y/n, even though she was still sleepy, forced herself to get up from Aemond's comfortable bed. She had a lot of things to plan and wanted to find a perfect place to be the studio for the brand in formation. And after taking a shower to feel more awake, wearing a beautiful aqua green sundress that she had brought from Lys and eating some yogurts from the fridge, she turned on the desktop computer in the office to start working.

Y/n hadn't noticed much about Aemond's apartment the day she arrived, but thinking better now that she was looking closely there wasn't much to notice. It was very spacious and there were almost no walls, increasing the feeling of spaciousness. Apart from the main furniture, it didn't have any decorations that drew much attention; the walls were white and the furniture was a mix of black, gray and cream. In fact, when she stopped to think about it, she concluded that even his office at the company had more personality.

The only thing that caught the eye was the large wooden shelf full of books. And she couldn't help but smile at the huge collection he had acquired. Some of them, she was sure, should be in a museum, and not on Aemond's personal bookshelf.

Below the bookcase, Y/n frowned when she noticed a beautiful wooden chest with some flowers carved on the lid, but when she tried to open it, she realized it was locked. She then went back to the computer desk and rolled her eyes deeply when she realized it was asking for a password.

Grumbling softly, she walked back to Aemond's room to get the phone. With a huff, she jumped onto the soft bed, lying on her stomach and reaching for the phone on the table. But then her brow furrowed slightly when she saw the bedside drawer with an open gap. Curiously, she opened it all the way, feeling her face heat up a little as she began to laugh when she found two polaroids of herself at the bottom of the drawer. In one, she was just smiling with her eyes closed, wearing a yellow summer dress, lying amidst the colorful flowers of a meadow that the two of them always went to hide in near Kings Wood, something completely innocent. But the other… It was her lying in the middle of the sheets of Aemond's bed wearing nothing but a smile, Y/n remembered that photo and the moment it was taken, it was the first time he had made her cum three times, and at the height of his own arrogance he took that photo saying he wanted to remember that moment forever. And with a smile she dialed the number that she had known by heart for a long time, waiting for Aemond to answer. When he finally did, her smile grew even wider.

-You know, I found something very interesting in your bedside drawer. - She laughed, turning over and lying on her back on the sheets, looking at the ceiling.

-Very interesting? - She could almost see Aemond roll his eyes and smile wryly if he closed his eyes.

-Yeah, you know, a picture of a girl? - She asked, still thrown between the sheets.

-If it's of a very pretty girl, put it back where you found it and don't crease the edges… I only have one of those. - She smiled against the phone when she heard him speak.

-Can I ask what you did with one of them in specific?

-You can after dinner today. - He murmured on the other end of the line and Y/n pulled her legs against her, laughing.

-I'll contain my curiosity.

-Is everything okay? - His voice sounded worried and Y/n felt her heart warm.

-Yes, but I need the computer's password. - She rolled excitedly onto the bed, lying on her stomach while swinging her legs. - I want to look at the available properties to find one that's good enough.

When Aemond started saying the numbers, Y/n jumped out of bed and walked quickly back to the living room, asking him to repeat it more slowly as she sat down on the chair, barely noticing the fact that the numbers were her birthday. She just smiled when she saw a photo of the mansion's garden at dusk, only the stone bench under the tree empty.

-Did you have breakfast?

-Yup. - She answered, already accessing the browser and crossing her legs in a lotus flower on the chair - Yogurt.

-Yogurt is not breakfast. - His voice was serious and Y/n smiled when she imagined the crease forming on his forehead.

-It was when is my first meal of the day. - She rolled her eyes, still laughing. - Now get back to work!

And without saying anything else, Y/n hung up the phone and threw it on the table, then grabbed some papers and a pencil to start researching.

❦❦❦

Aemond hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket, still smiling, but the smile slowly faded when the office door opened and his grandfather and mother entered unannounced, with very serious looks on their faces.

-Hello, Aemond. - Oto's expression would have made anyone tremble at that moment as Alicent closed the door and walked behind her father towards the office desk. - I heard some rumors that may not be good at all.

-Well, the bad tongues of this city have a certain addiction to spreading unfounded gossip. - The youngest disdained, raising his eyebrows slightly. - If we paid attention to all of them, some of us would already be arrested for moral harassment, wouldn't you say, grandfather?

Oto only became even more serious, staring at Aemond with twice the fury.

-I'll ask you just once, Aemond. - Oto's cold and controlled voice seemed to drop the temperature of the room. - Are you having an affair with that little bitch again?

-Don't you dare talk about her like that! - Aemond practically growled with a carefully calculated tone of voice.

-Based on your inconvenience, I can assume so. - Oto placed both hands on the tabletop, staring into his eyes. - And I'm trying to understand Aemond where you're planning to go with this, because Aegon is a stupid idiot and we all know that, but I always expected more from you.

Aemond's eyes burned with anger as he heard his grandfather speak, and he stared back at him without moving a muscle while he felt his hands tremble.

-Do you remember what we talked about the last time I was here? - Oto hissed tightly. - About the unique opportunity that the party chose to offer you? Your candidacy could be launched in the next elections alongside mine, this would make you one of the youngest deputies in our history, it would give more power to our family, it would improve your position within the company and as an heir!

-But do you think the conservative party will maintain the proposal if all this comes to light in the media? - The older man glared at him. - People are not stupid! They see things and go around talking about what they see. Do you think no one is talking about you going to Lys all of a sudden and leaving your fiancée behind?

-She's not my fiancée! - Aemond spoke firmly and slowly, narrowing his eyes at his grandfather.

-But it should be! - Oto slammed his hands on the table. - Do you think that girl is going to wait forever? That her father will be patient forever? He is my ally and supporter within the party, but he expects to receive something in return and this marriage is as beneficial to you as it is to everyone else involved. The shareholders will pressure Viserys about the succession if you are married to Floris and have direct influence over Baratheon industries!

-What if I don't want any of this? - Aemond walked away from his grandfather and headed towards the bookshelves under Alicent's watchful eye. - What if I want to have a different life?

-A different life? - Oto scoffed before Alicent could open her own mouth. - There is no different life for you, Aemond! You were born for this, for business, for politics! You are a Targaryen and a Hightower, you will not give up everything for a girl who is not worth your time. You were born into a dynasty, boy! Luxuries like choices cannot be paid for!

-She is exactly like her father! - Oto growled angrily, approaching his grandson again. - She doesn't think before she acts, she only does what she wants and thinks she deserves to do well for it. Let me tell you where Daemon is now, isolated in Pentos, married to a useless woman, with two daughters and running a branch of the company that is of absolutely no use! He threw away the golden opportunity that was Rhea Royce because he thought he deserved a different life. That's what happened!

-Do you want to follow that same path? End up with nothing, just the failure they expect you to be, just like Aegon is? - Oto almost shouted those words to Aemond as he got closer and closer to him under Alicent's watchful gaze. -That girl will only pull you down like the anchor she is! Putting those stupid dreams in your head.

Aemond's brain seemed to be rattling around in his head at his grandfather's words, he could barely reason. And as if that would help bring his focus back, he brought his hands to his eyes and pressed them tightly, breathing deeply. When he opened them again, he faced the leather sofa ahead where Y/n was lying waiting for him while drawing, talking and smiling two days ago, feeling her heart speed up.

-I'm not going to marry Floris Baratheon! - He stated slowly, looking very seriously at his grandfather. - And I'm not going to continue with this whole farce, this "relationship" with Floris is over! I'm going to end it all with her today.

-You can't do that! - Alicent screeched, walking towards the father and son. - Aemond, you're not thinking straight, I won't allow you to throw everything away for such a sordid sin.

-Sin is what I'm doing to Floris! - His eyes were wide and he looked towards the elders as he gestured. - Involving her in this whole situation just for my own benefit while I'm in love with someone else…

-Aemond! - Alicent reprimanded him firmly the moment he used the term love. - How many times have I told you not to repeat this? Why can't you just forget about it all? Leave this horrible story behind? You were doing so well until she came back here and messed with your head again.

-Nothing was fine, it wasn't even close to being fine! - He looked at the older people with a fierce look. - But I'm not going to live that way anymore, and I can't bring Floris into this either.

Alicent put her hands to her mouth, sobbing as she stared at Aemond. He felt horrible at that moment for making his mother cry. For a moment, he almost apologized and took back what he had said.

-Do you think your actions only affect you, boy? - Oto turned once again towards Aemond with a fulminated look. - Do you think the consequences won't affect me too?

-The elections are at the end of this year and I run the risk of not even having my candidacy launched by the party if you are involved in a scandal of this magnitude!

-I have built my entire career based on family, morals and good customs. - Oto looked at him fixedly. - And now we have Aegon and Daeron destroying my reputation out there. My salvation is you and Helaena. If you do this, Aemond, I will lose my position in the party and probably my political position.

-And what do you expect me to do? - Aemond asked through gritted teeth, feeling like he could collapse at any moment as he looked at his grandfather with his eyes trembling with pain and doubt.

-Wait at least until the elections to break up with Floris Baratheon. - Oto almost smiled saying those words. - Just act as if everything was normal between you two.

-I can't do that. - Aemond shook his head negatively as he remembered the promise he made to Y/n.

He didn't need to say the reason, both Oto and Alicent knew very well what it was. And before Alicent started talking again, the older man silenced her with just a gesture.

-I know your reasons, Aemond. But if she loves you as much as she says, she will understand your situation. - Oto's eyes shone as he said that. - She will wait for all this to be resolved.

-Give me a few days to think about what I'm going to do. - He asked in a morbid voice, staring at his grandfather with a lost look in his eyes.

-Then at least guarantee me that you will go to the charity ball with Floris. - Oto demanded in a harsh voice. - That would be very good for your image after the last few days and consequently for my image as well.

-Mmm. - And without knowing what to say, Aemond just murmured and nodded to his grandfather who smiled sideways at the small victory.

❦❦❦

Sana and Lizze practically bit their nails out of curiosity in the entrance hall of the offices. Every now and then they heard shouts and incoherent words coming from inside Aemond's office. The only thing they both knew was that they were discussing Floris Baratheon.

And when the doors finally opened and Oto came out followed by Alicent, both with unfriendly faces, the two pretended to focus on their own tasks, avoiding even looking away to notice them.

-Father, have you lost your mind? - Alicent looked at him furiously, starting to speak as soon as the elevator doors closed. - Why did you back off?

-Because it wouldn't do any point to pressure him to stay away from her. I underestimated Aemond's devotion towards her. - Oto's eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

-I warned you, didn't I? - Alicent hissed, biting the skin of her thumb staring at his father with wide eyes. - You weren't there the night I sent her away, you didn't see what I saw! She's like a parasite stuck to him.

-Well, we already know one thing… the only person who can keep Aemond away from Y/n is Y/n herself. - The oldest looked at her very seriously. - And I'm going to make sure that happens.

-How?

-From the little time I've spent with her and from what you've told me, the girl has the same unstable temperament as that her idiot father. - Oto rolled his eyes. - It'll be easy to put her exactly in the position we want.

❦❦❦

Y/n was leaning over the office desk eating one of the remaining chocolate bars Aemond had bought for her in Lys the day before while crossing a potential property off the list after realizing it was too close to Flea Bottom.

The soft sound of the doorbell broke through the silence of the apartment and Y/n frowned, heading towards the door without even looking at who it was before opening it, becoming even more confused when she found a food delivery man standing in the doorway.

-I didn't order food. - The girl frowned, staring at the boy.

-This is Mr. Aemond Targaryen's apartment, isn't it? - The boy looked at her confused and Y/n just nodded positively.

-So that's right. - He handed the package into Y/n's hands and left, wishing her a good lunch, making her smile and wish him a good day at work.

She rolled her eyes with a silly smile on her lips as she opened the package and saw the smoked salmon with Caesar salad and some side dishes.

-He knows how to be sweet when he wants to be. - She said to Vhagar who was eating some of the food with her back to the wall while looking at her suspiciously.

Y/n tried to call Aemond to talk about lunch, but he didn't answer her calls and shrugging her shoulders she finished her own meal while feeling Vhagar, who had become less skittish after getting a piece of fish from Y/n's plate, rubbing herself against her calves.

❦❦❦

The rest of Aemond's afternoon was an endless torment. He barely touched the food that had been brought and didn't do even a third of the work he was supposed to do for the day. He just kept thinking about how he was going to get out of this situation without causing any more problems, but there seemed to be no answer.

Y/n called once again shortly after his mother and grandfather left his office, but Aemond didn't have the courage to answer. Not after all that, not when he felt unable to draw oxygen into his own lungs.

Hours later, when the sun was already setting on the horizon, he sighed deeply and picked up the phone, dialing the home number, leaning over the table as if a huge weight were on his back.

-Hello you! - Y/n's sweet voice came on the other end of the line and Aemond felt his chest tighten.

-Hey, beautiful. - He practically sighed. - Is everything okay?

-Well, I received some delicious food for lunch and I have ten good real estate options for the studio, so I would say yes. - He could feel the excitement in her voice as she spoke and couldn't help but smile melancholy.

-But what about you… are you okay? - She paused, her voice suddenly worried, he did his best to reassure her.

-Yes, just a stressful meeting earlier.

-Oh, I can give you a back massage when you get home. - Her voice was so soft, so sweet, so concerned for him. Aemond felt his own body tingle.

-That will definitely be well received. - He smiled more genuinely and soon after that he decided he had had enough of that day.

-I'll be there in a few minutes.

-Really? - Her voice sounded excited and he was sure she was biting her lower lip at that very moment. - I thought you were leaving later.

-And I am, but I'm leaving early today.

-Great! I'm going to order something for us to eat! See you later.

Aemond heard two loud kisses that she had probably placed on the phone and shortly afterwards the line went dead. He just rolled his eyes with a tired smile and put away his things and left the office.

-Miss Mayotte, take my messages. I'm going for today. - He announced without even looking at the secretaries as he walked towards the elevator.

-Yes sir. - Lizze nodded positively while, away from her boss's gaze, she raised her eyebrows questioningly at Sana, who just shrugged.

-Someone was obviously not happy with the visit earlier. - Sana whispered as soon as the elevator door closed, but even if he had been next to her, Aemond probably wouldn't have heard with so many thoughts screaming in his head at the same time.

And when he got into the car he made a decision, he would tell Y/n everything that had been said by his grandfather and mother as soon as they both finished dinner.

❦❦❦

Not far from there, at the Flavor of Seven Tea House, evil-intentioned tongues gnawed at each other in malicious whispers. As was already common, some of the members of Kings Landing's high society were sharing a table for afternoon tea in one of the most expensive places in the city.

The laughter was contained and the voices low and polite while, more cruelly than the lower class, they made cruel comments about each other's lives. The conversation at the table immediately ceased when the door of the tea house opened and Aemond Targaryen entered with his very serious look and his usual importance.

As soon as he arrived at the main counter, everyone started talking even more intensely and even more quietly so that no one around could hear.

-Look at his skin. - Elyrio Hayford murmured, taking a subtle sip of tea while pretending not to look in Aemond's direction.

The others at the table nodded positively while raising their eyebrows and biting their lips, also looking discreetly in the direction of the counter.

-I just wanted to run into Y/n around to make sure she was in Lys with him. - Elyrio's younger brother, Lion grumbled, taking some cookies from the older brother's plate.

-And how would you do that? - Jane Pyle asked laughingly, biting her lower lip and raising her eyebrows, drinking some of the black coffee in the cup.

-Hello Y/n dear, have you been seeing Lys with your grumpy and hot cousin in the last few days? - Jane spoke in a terrible imitation of Lion's voice and he just threw one of the cookies at her, making her laugh even more.

-And do you think it would be necessary to ask? - Elyrio whispered maliciously. - Just look at him! He's more tan than the surfers at Black Water, he looks like a shrimp. And I bet all my inheritance that she must be the same!

-What's he ordering at the counter? - Pia Rosby, who had her back to Aemond, hissed in curiosity. - As far as I know, Floris always says he doesn't eat sweets.

-I can't see very well. - Lion rolled his eyes. - That huge guy is blocking my field of vision.

-It looks like he's taking a strawberry cake. - And trying to be discreet, Elyrio leaned closer to Jane to try to see.

-Sometimes he'll take the cake to Floris. - Pia shrugged and everyone at the table laughed a little louder without meaning to.

-Floris is allergic to strawberries. - Jane rolled her eyes, still laughing. - That's besides the fact that she told Nia a while ago that he never brought her a single sweet, among other things that a boyfriend is supposed to give his girlfriend when he likes her.

The four of them looked away at the same moment Aemond turned and walked past them all once more without saying a word, leaving the tea house with the package in his hands.

-Everyone's going to the Targaryen charity ball this week, aren't they? - Lion smiled evilly as he stirred his iced tea with a straw.

-I wouldn't miss it for anything! - Jane smiled, biting her lip as she drank the last sip of coffee.

❦❦❦

Y/n smiled and hummed the music on the radio as she placed plates, cutlery and glasses on the dining table. The phone was next to the computer, and she had already called five of the places on the list. Unfortunately, none of them had pleased her enough. But she was still absolutely happy. Aemond had called her about an hour ago saying he would be home early from the company. And with a smile, she ordered food from a restaurant they always went to for family dinners.

Setting the table and waiting for Aemond Y/n felt like she was 9 years old again playing house where she and Aemond pretended to be a very happy couple, the only thing missing was the children she thought unconsciously putting her right hand to her stomach feeling a pang of pain in her heart , then shaking her head as if that could drive away the bad thoughts and then smiling at the thought that in a short time she and Aemond could have all of this.

Without warning, the door opened and Aemond entered, leaving the folder on the top of the sideboard where he kept his shoes. And walking towards him with a smile, Y/n could see a package of craft paper with yellow ribbons in his hands and frowned curiously.

-What is this? - She pointed with her chin at the package expectantly while pulling him by the neck and leaving a kiss on his lips, and Aemond shrugged his shoulders in a sign of unimportance.

-Only the best strawberry cake from Flavor of Seven.

-No way. - Y/n said, her eyes shining, going towards him and taking the package to open it as if it were a gift under Aemond's watchful eyes.

An easy smile appeared on his lips when he saw in Y/n that same childish joy that she had when he gave her sweets as a child.

-Do you know the best part of being an adult? - She suddenly looked very serious at Aemond and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he denied it.

-Being able to eat dessert before dinner. - She wiggled her eyebrows laughingly, placing the cake on the table while she went to look for a cake knife, leaving Aemond smiling behind. He looked down, still smiling, and then saw Vhagar sleeping hidden under the couch, with only her tail sticking out.

-Was she okay during the day? - He arched his eyebrows, following Y/n to the kitchen.

-Yup. - She nodded with a smile as she bit the tip of one of the strawberries she had taken from the top of the cake and put the rest in Aemond's mouth. - She spent most of the time hiding, but she ate, drank water, and walked around the apartment a few times.

-Well, the vet said it's normal for this to happen while she adapts to the environment. - He smiled slightly after swallowing the strawberry, staring at Y/n's smiling red lips.

And with his heart still aching from the dark day, he gently pulled her by the waist and kissed her sweetly on the lips, feeling the strawberry flavor of his own lips mixing with hers in a soft caress.

After breaking the kiss, Y/n just buried her head in the crook of Aemond's neck, rubbing herself lovingly against him while sighing when she felt him stroking her hair affectionately. And with a sweet smile she walked back towards the dining room to cut the cake, followed closely by the eldest who stopped when passing by the office itself.

Aemond smiled as he looked over the computer table and found some drawings of how she wanted the front of the studio to look, some sketches of the interior and even some drawings of Vhagar throughout the day. In one of them, the cat was eating, in another just sitting on the chair and in another hidden under the bookshelf with only her long, fluffy, gray tail showing.

-What did you order for dinner? - He observed the practically perfectly organized table with curiosity as the serving bowls were covered.

-That Westerlands restaurant that we always went to in the past. - Y/n cut a slice of cake and placed it on Aemond's plate. - Ravioli with mushrooms and cheese. - She smiled, placing a slice on her own plate while Aemond murmured in approval of the dinner menu.

The two ate dessert before dinner and amidst smiles and conversations Aemond opened the wine that Y/n had ordered with the food and they both laughed when the cork hit the shelf hard, making Vhagar show her teeth in discomfort and hide under Aemond's chair, who was delighted with the fact that she felt safe around him.

In the tranquility of dinner conversations, Y/n told him that of all the places, the one she liked the most already had a proposal and was off the market. And Aemond squeezed her hand, humming and vehemently affirming that she would find an even better place, making her smile and lean towards him.

When they finished dinner, Y/n held his hands and they hugged while dancing to the soft music that played on the radio. Aemond buried his head in her soft hair that smelled of his shampoo and closed his eyes in pleasure, then distributed kisses on her face and neck, still feeling the light taste of the wine they had drunk on his lips while he kissed her.

And lost in the sweetness of that moment, he decided that he would not talk about anything that happened earlier with Y/n, at least not that night.

❦❦❦

The next day he did not wake her up, Y/n slept soundly between the covers and before leaving the apartment, Aemond just placed a soft kiss on her forehead, feeling his own heart ache in a strange way when he left her that morning.

Compared to the previous day, the morning was completely monotonous, and when it was close to 11:00, he sighed and headed to the meeting room for something that was finally relevant that day.

❦❦❦

Just like the previous day, Y/n got up, took a shower, got dressed and went straight to Aemond's office to continue organizing everything necessary for the opening of the studio. The hours passed while she took note of suppliers of good quality inputs. And feeling tired, she decided to eat a fruit to wait for lunch.

While she ate the peach, the browser's news tab updated and Y/n read some of it, rolling her eyes at all the sensationalism that was being done about the lives of members of high society while smiling, but then a new piece of news appeared in the breaking news carousel and her heart seemed to freeze in her chest the same moment she read it and the smile slowly died on her lips until all that was left was a soft tremor of despair.

Aemond Targaryen announces his engagement to Floris Baratheon.

Y/n felt her hands shaking uncontrollably as she clicked on the news, shaking her head as her eyes burned.

"The son of the magnate Viserys Targaryen, Aemond Targaryen has just announced the engagement with Floris Baratheon. According to him, the two would wait to make the announcement at the annual Targaryen Inc. charity ball, but faced with such happiness, they couldn't wait to make the announcement. Apparently Aemond Targaryen went to Lys to choose an exclusive ring for Floris made in the land of the goddess of love that she will wear at the ball. Happy news, isn't it?"

Y/n wanted to scream, scream until her lungs exploded and she no longer needed to feel that searing pain in her chest. She had barely noticed when the tears began to run down her cheeks, leaving her eyes blurry, and at that moment the only thing she could feel was pain.

Without even dressing appropriately, she opened the door to Aemond's apartment and slammed it behind her as she left the place in tears wearing only a short yellow dress and bare feet, barely seeing the path ahead of her down the hallway to the elevator.

-Miss Targaryen? - The doorman called her as soon as he got off the elevator in the building's lobby, seeing the state she was in, and Y/n felt like his voice was miles away. - Do you need something?

-Just order a taxi for me, please! That's all. - She begged amid sobs, barely able to breathe as she tried to wipe her own tears without success, the only thing Y/n wanted at that moment was to get out of that place.

The man just waved as he looked at her with a curious frown, but Y/n barely noticed, too lost in her own sadness to look around. And when the taxi arrived about three minutes later, she got in and drove away from there, still feeling the hot tears running down her cheeks, and no matter how much she squeezed her eyes, the bright letters announcing Aemond's engagement to another seemed to not disappear from her mind.

❦❦❦

-Congratulations, Mr. Targaryen. - Sana said politely as Aemond walked towards his own room, returning from the meeting, and the man frowned in visible confusion.

-For your engagement, of course. - The secretary smiled and Aemond felt his stomach drop.

-Where did you get such nonsense, Mrs. Heyors? - His voice sounded cold and sharp, making Lizze and Sana shrink in their chairs.

-I-It's on all the news sites, sir. - The woman lowered her head, unable to look him in the eye, and Aemond instantly turned the woman's computer screen to him, clicking on the news site in the tab next to it.

Bile rose in his throat instantly when he saw the huge photo of him next to Floris below the headline saying that he had announced an engagement between the two.

-Seven fucking hells. - He hissed in shock and without saying another word to either of them, Aemond turned and practically ran towards the elevator with only one thing on his mind, Y/n.

The secretaries just looked at him with silent judgmental looks and after the elevator door closed, Sana pulled her own chair up to Lizze's desk.

-What is this man planning to do? - She whispered, quickly looking over her shoulder to check if anyone was coming. - Marry the daughter of the Baratheons and have sex with his cousin in free time?

-Sana! - Lizze scolded her immediately, afraid that someone would hear them.

-But it's the truth and you know it. - She rolled her eyes. - Do you think he let us leave early on Friday night out of the pure kindness of his dark heart? I have a slight idea of ​​what the two of them must have been doing alone in that room after we left that day.

-What about this whole story about him going to Lys just to buy a ring for Miss Baratheon? - Lizze hissed, giving up on reprimanding her coworker. - Do me a favor, I've never seen this man even take the time to go with the girl to the corner and out of nowhere he made a 3 hour trip just to buy her a ring?

-It's obvious that he went to Lys with his cousin and now they're trying to cover up the whole thing. - Sana rolled her eyes, but then approached Lizze very seriously. - But I don't think he agreed to this engagement thing, did you see his face? It felt like he had come face to face with a bear in the forest and then I thought it was going to eat us alive.

❦❦❦

Aemond got into the car and sped away from Targaryen at high speed, not even stopping at the entrance. His mind was boiling with anxiety as he drove like a madman through the busy streets of Kings Landing. As he tried to call the apartment's landline without success.

-Seven hells. - He practically shouted as he hit the steering wheel hard. - What the fuck.

He had barely stopped the car in the building's parking lot and without even taking the key out of the ignition, he already got out, taking long steps towards the elevator, pressing the button continuously as if that would make the elevator arrive faster, as he pressed his short nails firmly into the palms of his hands.

When he finally reached the apartment, the door was unlocked and he jumped inside, already calling Y/n's name with his wide eyes shining with despair, but getting no response. As he approached the computer, he saw the screen frozen on his own face next to Floris's with the huge news of the engagement.

-Damn. Damn. Damn it. - He walked back towards the door, almost tripping over Vhagar's bowl full of food, who was sleeping under the couch once again.

Aemond ran to the building's reception in search of the only likely person who would have seen her. The doorman.

-She left a few minutes ago, sir. - The older man replied as he nervously played with a pen. - She asked me to call her a taxi, she seemed very upset about something.

-Where did she go? - Aemond demanded with a cutting voice.

-H-hotel Aegon's Fort. - The man stuttered shakily while Aemond barely heard and ran back towards the parking lot, leaving once again at high speed while feeling his hands sweating cold.

As soon as Aemond entered the hotel reception, everyone looked at him curiously, but he didn't care, he just walked to the reception as fast as his legs could carry him.

-I would like to know the room number of my cousin Y/n Targaryen. - He looked at the boy at the reception who swallowed hard, barely able to look him in the eye.

-I-I'm sorry sir, b-but she asked not to be d-disturbed. - The poor boy stuttered shakily looking at the counter as he answered.

-My family owns this hotel! - Aemond hissed softly, placing his hand firmly on the counter, looking at him with wide, threatening eyes. - Everything inside here belongs to me, including your job.

-What's your name, boy? - Aemond's voice sounded weaponous and the boy in front of him felt like he was going to vomit.

-It's-It's Tom sir.

-Very well Tim, I'm asking you something very simple… I think it's best to do it. - Aemond looked at him even harder as he spat the words, and the boy nodded quickly in response while stuttering Y/n's room number.

And without saying anything else Aemond walked with long strides to the elevator, barely able to breathe, feeling as if the air was thin, while his stomach churned with anxiety.

As soon as he reached the room at the end of the corridor on the thirteenth floor, Aemond knocked on the door with wild eyes as he waited for an answer. A few moments later, Y/n opened it and he could see her eyes filled with tears. When she saw him, she tried to close the bedroom door again, but Aemond held it firmly, preventing her from doing so.

-You have to believe me when I say that I didn't authorize any of this. - He said in a very serious voice, staring at her as he held the door.

-You didn't authorize it, but you allowed your mother to authorize it. - She laughed in derision, still trying to close the door without success.

And being careful not to hurt her, Aemond pushed the door with a little more force, entering the room, making Y/n grunt in anger and going in the other direction.

-Y/n, please… - He murmured with his eyes shining, bringing his hands to her face as he always did when he wanted to calm her down.

-Don't touch me! - She hissed in an angry voice full of venom, avoiding his touch while looking at him with wide eyes. - Your fiancée is Floris.

-Y/n, no. - He shook his head in a desperate attempt to explain himself.

-Go away Aemond, leave me alone! - She begged, pointing to the door and turning her back to him, once again feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes.

-You promised me! - Y/n cried, still with her back to him, but unable to contain the tremors in her body even as she hugged herself tightly to try. - You promised me you would solve this! That it would have nothing to do with Floris anymore, and now what? - She spoke with a broken voice, almost a sob turning towards him, and Aemond felt his heart breaking into pieces when he saw the pain so deep in her eyes. - Your face is in all the newspapers announcing an engagement!

-I didn't announce anything. - He whispered, slowly approaching her once again. - My mother and my grandfather…

-That's enough! - Y/n yelled at the mention of Alicent and Oto, her face contorted in anger once again. - I don't want to know! - She laughed in derision. - I really don't! Marry Floris, buy a really beautiful house for both of you and enjoy the woman you chose!

Y/n practically screamed through her tears as Aemond tried to approach her as if she were a wounded animal that would attack him with any false step.

-Y/n, I should have told you, my grandfather asked me yesterday to wait for the elections before ending everything with Floris. Just to not hurt his campaign. That's all. But I didn't agree to announce any engagement! - He shot the words quickly while trying to keep his voice soft before she interrupted him.

-It's not a big deal. - He muttered, getting closer to her who had walked towards the dressing table to get away from him. - I'm still yours.

-It's not a big deal? - She squeaked, looking even more furious, feeling her stomach churn when she heard him say that. - Aemond! How do you think I feel? - She gestured, almost choking on her words and crying. - How would you feel if I went out with someone else, let him touch me and then had a fucking announcement of my engagement in every newspaper in the country?

Aemond felt his blood boil at that thought and could almost taste iron in his mouth just by imagining whoever it was next to his Y/n, and unconsciously his face contorted with anger.

-I thought it wasn't a big deal! - She spoke ironically, glaring at him as she dried her tears with the back of her hands once again.

-Y/n, if I do this, there might be a chance for the two of them to accept us being together! It's not just about being with Floris, I don't even like her! But if we do this, my grandfather might help me convince my mother in some time…

-How long until I become your lover? - Y/n cried in a desperate voice, staring at him.

-Y/n…

-How long, Aemond? - She almost screamed, her voice muffled by crying and pain as her lips trembled. - How long until your grandfather decides that you need to marry her, and you accept his decision? And I become your lover, watching you give her everything you promised me! Do you even remember the things you used to say to me? Of everything we planned together?

-It's not going to come to that! - He denied immediately, feeling his heart break when he saw the hurt in her eyes. - I would never let it get to that point, Y/n.

-Your grandfather is one of the most cunning people I've ever met in my life, Aemond. Unlike your mother, he never liked me, not even for a moment. What makes you believe that if you roll over and show him your belly, he will somehow miraculously accept us and convince your mother of that too?

Aemond had no answer for that and with his silence Y/n just laughed humorlessly, bringing her hands to her face and squeezing her own eyes shut, holding back the urge to just scream in frustration and anger.

-I will fix the things. - Aemond murmured, taking her hands between his and holding them tightly, looking into her eyes. - I swear to you that I will.

-I can no longer believe the promises you make me when we are alone. - Y/n sniffed, pulling her hands from his and crossing her arms protectively around her body. - Because when the day dawns and your mother snaps her fingers, you will run to the hem of her skirt like the obedient son that you are. - She sobbed, her face contorted in pain as she clenched more and more tightly into herself. - And maybe I would do the same, but I don't have a mother to take me in.

The older felt broken, he felt as if at any moment he would collapse on the floor of that room because he could not bear to be the reason for her tears. And when he tried to get closer to her once more, Y/n pushed his hand away from her forcefully, wiping her tears angrily and walking in the opposite direction of the room.

-Don't you lay a hand on me! - She hissed in fury with her dilated pupils leaving her eyes completely dark in a frightening way in contrast to the redness caused by crying. - I'm not yours to touch anymore!

-And I want to make one thing very clear to you, Aemond. If you're having to choose between me and this whole farce, you can go ahead and marry Floris to make your grandfather and mother happy. - Pain and anger pulsed in Y/n's eyes as she spat those words about Aemond. - Because if you really loved me, you wouldn't have to be choosing!

-Don't you dare question the intensity of my feelings for you. - Aemond hissed, his eyes burning, holding her by the shoulders and staring at her as he felt his own blood burning in his veins. - Don't you dare minimize the pain I felt in these years without you! How hard it was for me to lose you!

-How hard was it for you? - She mocked, throwing her head back in mockery, freeing herself from Aemond's hands once again but then walking towards him in a theatrical way while spitting out the words. - Poor Aemond Targaryen, he went to the college of his dreams and stayed here in Kings Landing doing whatever he wanted with his life.

-I was stuck in a septum for five years! - She shouted with wide eyes, putting her finger in Aemond's face. - You have no idea what I had to go through alone while you were here living your life as if nothing ever happened. I was left with all the consequences of what we did!

-You don't know half of what happened! - She cried, her face contorted in pain and her lips trembling, tangling her hands in her own hair as she screamed. - Half of what I had to go through alone!

-I asked you more than once if you wanted to talk about it. - Aemond shouted, his face contorted with anger, losing patience for her touching such a sensitive spot. - I asked you if you were okay, and you dodged me as if I were a stranger, someone you couldn't trust!

The words almost sounded jumbled on his tongue as he spoke and he seemed to be three times his size in his fury, but Y/n didn't back down, she just got even closer with so much anger and pain that it seemed like she was being swallowed by them.

-Maybe you're not! - Maybe I shouldn't trust you! Because after everything we've been through, after all the promises, when I come back you're with someone else, and do you know what the problem is? - She hit his chest with her index finger furiously.

- I was an idiot for continuing to love you and thinking that you felt the same way too, that nothing had changed over the years. I was a fool for believing that everything would still be the same, for blindly believing in the promises you made to me. You're a liar! Liar! Coward! - Y/n screamed and cried uncontrollably, hitting his chest while Aemond tried to hold her arms without hurting her in the process.

-You haven't said you love me even once since I came back. - She sobbed against his chest with a broken voice. - Not once.

-I still do. - Guilt chewed and swallowed him for not being able to say the words he wanted to say to Y/n at that moment and he just stroked her disheveled hair, making another wave of fury take over the younger girl's body, who pushed him away when she felt despised by him.

-Then do something about it if you really still feel that way about me! - She challenged him with her eyes flickering with anger. - Go down to the hall and tell everyone what we are to each other!

-You know I can't do that. - He muttered irritated with his patience again on the line when he heard Y/n question his feelings out loud once again.

-Because you don't want to do it! - She practically growled infuriated. - Why don't you care about how I feel!

-Why do you act like you're the only one with feelings? How do you suppose I feel about this? - Aemond shouted loudly, walking towards her with wide eyes.

-I can't just go around doing whatever I want because these things don't just affect me! - He yelled at her, but even Aemond's screams weren't loud and shrill like hers, they were contained and slightly muffled as his face contorted with rage. - It affects our family too! Affect my grandfather! You should know this better than anyone else!

His angry screams almost made her retreat, unable to deal with Aemond's anger directed at her. But then he shouted something that made her heart break even more if that was possible.

-But no, you're just like your father, you don't care about what happens around you as long as you're satisfied! - When Aemond realized what he had done, it was too late to take back the words.

-You didn't say that! - She whispered, frozen in place, looking at him with her face red and slightly swollen from crying.

-Y/n I… - The eldest held his breath, momentarily freezing when he saw the hurt in her eyes, the fury draining from his body as quickly as it had appeared.

-If I'm as selfish and crazy as my dad, then what are you still doing here? - She laughed humorlessly and looked at the floor as she took a deep breath.

-Fuck… - Aemond grunted with his hands on his head, looking at her with teary eyes. - That's not what I meant!

-Do you know what my dad came to Kings Landing for my 16th birthday? - She looked at him very seriously. - He came to get me, to take me to live with him in Pentos. But I didn't go, I chose to stay! I chose you! But I guess you never chose me. - She cried muffledly, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as she looked at him.

-That isn't true and you know it! - He hissed, taking firm steps towards her. - In every life, in every choice I would always choose you! - Aemond spoke with conviction, looking at her with teary eyes.

-You're not choosing now. - She mumbled, barely able to look at him.

-I wish I had never set foot in that house. - Y/n whispered in the midst of her tears, feeling like she would collapse at any moment. - Never having met you. I gave myself body and soul to you, I gave you all of me, every part of my being. And you… - She choked on her tears, unable to say another word.

Aemond didn't know what to say, didn't know what to answer. If she had cut him with a knife, it wouldn't have hurt as much as those words. The two stared at each other for what seemed like hours, breathing heavily and their eyes full of tears, without saying a single word. Until Aemond's phone started ringing and anger bit Y/n in the ankle once again.

-It must be your grandpa. - She mocked, squinting her eyes. - Or perhaps your mother. - She curled her lips in false curiosity. - Or better yet, maybe it's your dear fiancée!

-Here you can give this to her to match the beautiful ring that I'm sure your grandfather already bought! - Y/n screamed at the top of her lungs, ripping the sapphire necklace from her neck and throwing it at Aemond with force while his eyes widened, holding the beautiful and delicate silver necklace between his fingers, preventing it from falling to the floor.

-Get out of my room! - She screamed, pushing him away, barely giving him time to react as she held the necklace. - Get out of here! I don't want to see you anymore! Never!

-Please Y/n. - He looked at her in despair. - I'm begging you, let's solve all this!

-Don't come after me anymore! - She squealed between sobs and screams as she pushed him out of the room. - Better yet, forget that I exist!

-I don't think you'll have much trouble doing this again, considering the last time. - The venom in her voice as she said this before slamming the door could have killed Aemond right there.

And with the bang of the door slamming, Y/n collapsed sobbing on the floor, hugging her own legs and feeling the last remaining parts of her heart breaking into more pieces than she thought she could put together.

tag list: @afro-hispwriter @fan-goddess @strangersunghoon @zenka69 @callsignwidow @amanda08319 @alesswift-blog @marialikescherries

Final notes: All must choose... who is right and who is wrong in this fight? I hope you enjoyed the chapter my dear readers! 💕🥺❤️‍🩹

Next chapter

[maliland]

PLAY FAIR!

now playing: xo by beyoncé

barbie(s): e-1610 miles & black fem reader

includes: fluff & fake ass friends

synopsis: your day starts off a bit rocky when you're confronted with conflict concerning your friendships. your boyfriend cheers you up by taking you to the fair!

wc: 8358 (not including the bonus)

credz: @/firefly-graphics

a/n: first fluff fic yayay!! i lied abt when i was dropping this sooo many times, mb.. there's a bonus to make up for it. i hope u guys enjoy this and read VERY slowly bc idk when i'm dropping a fic next 🚶‍♀️ idk what i was doing here lowkey… i h8 everything but the bonus. (i'm biased i like angst better) lmk what y’all think of this tho 💞 ((i proof read but there might be mistakes))

mothers were always thought to have an intuition when it came to their children—some sort of sixth sense. the science behind it? well, there is none. none that’s been proven, anyway. that doesn’t stop some mothers from swearing that their second sight was legit. your mom was one of them, constantly giving her unwarranted two cents about people in your life who seemed harmless to you.

you felt blessed to have the mother you did. she was your best friend and your biggest cheerleader. she brought you up to be the girl you are today. without her, you didn't know who you'd be. not having a huge group of friends to be around 24/7 didn't really bother you as much as it would have if you didn't have her.

you’ve never felt like you needed to hide anything from your mom, but you did keep your crush on miles a secret for a hot minute. you'd never liked someone the way you liked him. you were shocked to discover that he like you too. when miles was ready to make things official, you knew you couldn't hide him from your mom anymore, so you didn't. she met him one saturday morning over breakfast, and to your surprise, she liked him. you were shocked she didn’t have anything condemnatory to say about your boyfriend, not because there was anything wrong with miles, but because your mom is overprotective of you.

growing up, you hadn’t always been the most sociable kid. all of the friends you had now found you and so did miles. that being said, your mom worried that people would take advantage of your built-in hospitality and youf kind heart. she watched out for certain things when you'd describe your interactions with people, then told you to watch out as well. although her overprotectiveness could be irritating more often than not, your mom had definitely helped you avoid trouble here and there.

growing up meant change. you weren't the biggest fan of change because of the risk that came with it. you had always preferred to stick to what you know—until this year. your fourth and final year of high school had you wanting to break out of your shell. the same few friends wouldn’t be there to keep you company when you graduate and go to different colleges, or hold your hand for the rest of your life. neither would your beloved mother. you had to hold your own hand.

you weren't sure how you were going to make friends, and you were too ashamed to ask anyone how to do so. thankfully, you didn't have to do much, because the friends you made came to you.

it started with a group chat with the five girls you had calculus with this year: tiesha, taraji, yanira, and adana. tiesha had created the chain so you all could send homework answers and test reviews back and forth. math was never your strong suit, so cheating was really the only reason you were passing. brief conversations about homework and how much you all hated the class turned into full blown conversations about boys and tv shows. minor comments about something annoying that someone did in class turned into major gossip sessions. you couldn't remember the last time you went a whole day without talking to those girls, whether it was one text message or twenty.

your mom told you she was excited that you had expanded your circle, but you could tell by the way her smile had slightly faltered that she was indeed irresolute. you knew you’d never understand her intuitive claims unless you had children of your own, and even then, you’d still doubt the phenomenon’s validity. it was just your nature to question everything.

presently, you were at a food court in the mall, sitting by yourself at one of the tables. every now and then, you’d glance up from your phone and see a group of friends or a couple pass by you.

you were supposed to hang out with yanira, taraji, adana, and tiesha, but it was almost one and none of them had showed up to the spot in the mall where you agreed to meet. every call you made went straight to voicemail. frustrated, you opened instagram to see if any of the girls were active. you raised a brow when you noticed the multicolored spiral around yanira’s profile picture at the top of your dash where stories were located. you tapped it just to be confronted with a boomerang of yanira, tiesha, adana, and taraji posing in a dressing room mirror. your eyes bored into the screen for a few seconds before you swiped out of instagram, treachery bubbling in your stomach. you released an exasperated sigh.

your mom was right. once again.

you glanced at a nearby tv on one of the walls in the food court and saw a picture of spider-man. you read the captions as they glided across the bottom of the screen, the clip of the hero fighting off a villain playing simultaneously. the news reporter narrated the highlights of the brawl and another one followed up his narration by concluding that spider-man had once again saved the city.

you smiled to yourself like a proud mother, then you thought about miles, not spider-man. you hadn’t talked to your boyfriend since the night before. as if he could read your mind, your phone buzzed against the table and lit up.

3 text messages @ 12:42pm

miles: hey, pretty girl (12:42pm)  miles: i couldn’t text you this morning, i’m sorry (12:42pm)  miles: villain of the week decided to get up early today (12:42pm)

so did you, but for different reasons. reasons that no longer mattered. you didn't even know why you were still sitting in that food court. you should've been en route to the train station by now. you felt so damn stupid.

you: that’s okay (12:43pm)

miles: are you okay? (12:43pm) miles: yk i’d never purposely ignore you, right? (12:43pm)

you: yeah, i know (12:44pm) you: it’s not you (12:44pm)  you: i’m at the mall rn bc i was supposed to meet some friends here, but they never showed. nb wanted to answer the phone either (12:44pm) you: i checked instagram n it turns out they’re all here (12:45pm) you: just without me (12:45pm) you: sooo now i have to do the walk of shame back to the subway station (12:45pm)

miles: that’s so messed up, i’m really sorry (12:46pm)  miles: did anything happen with them before this? (12:46pm)

you: no (12:46pm)  you: i mean if it did then idk anything about it (12:47pm)  you: my ma warned me about those girls. i should’ve listened 🤦‍♀️ (12:47pm)

miles: i got an idea. are you free now? (12:47pm)

you: i am 🤨 (12:48pm)

miles: take the subway to mine (12:48pm)  miles: i have a surprise ❤️ (12:48pm)

you: i gtg grab smth from my place b4 that (12:49pm) you: but i’ll be there :) (12:49pm)

miles loved a message @ 12:50pm

you didn’t even realize the smile that had crept up on your face until it was almost ear to ear and a few seconds away from making your cheeks ache. you quickly stood up from your chair, the legs howling loudly as they scraped against the tile. you winced at the noise and picked the chair up to move it instead of pushing it in. afterwards, you began walking to the exit closest to the subway station. your pace slowed when you saw your “friends” in front of you. they hadn’t noticed you yet. you hoped they wouldn't. they were walking in a horizontal line, laughing and carrying bags on their arms from different stores. you thought it made them look like they belonged in mean girls, or some coming-of-age disney movie with a clique of popular girls who manage to be both unnecessarily cruel and loved by everyone for antsgonists.

when the group of teens finally spotted you, they briefly side-eyed one another before looking back at you, fake smiles gracing their lips almost immediately after.

did they think you were stupid, blind, or both?

“[name]!” adana called out to you when you were only a few feet apart. she dragged out the last part of your name too. you saw it for what it was: an obvious and weak effort to sound genuine. adana picked up her pace so she got to you faster than the other girls. “we thought you weren’t coming, girl!”

you remained tranquil, though you could see everyone else behind adana snickering and exchanging looks. your kept your face relatively blank, not wanting to show the girls before you even the slightest bit of chagrin. they’d get a kick out of it and your outburst would be the topic of their conversations for weeks to come. high school was truly exhausting.

“i mean, i got here at twelve like we agreed,” you shrugged. “i called you guys too. i guess your phones were off.”

“yeah, they were,” taraji chimed in, showing you the 'do not disturb' icon on her phone. you fought the urge to roll your eyes at her fraudulent tone.

you almost couldn’t believe that this was a real situation that you were somehow caught in the middle of. tiesha pouted, the friction between her lips causing her already-faded pink and brown lip combo to fade some more. you knew she was mocking you, but you only wanted to smile when you thought about the shiny gloss that was neatly slathered on your lips, much unlike hers.

“are you okay? have you been here by yourself this whole time?” tiesha interrogated. it felt more like instigating.

“i mean, yeah,” your eyes darted around nervously. lipgloss honestly wasn’t a big deal anyway, tiesha probably had more in her bag. your confidence boost was short-lived and had diminished. you were never the type to thrive off someone's disadvantage. either way, you could act. “but it didn’t really bother me ‘cause i was texting my boyfriend and we—”

“boyfriend?” adana laughed mockingly like it was unbelievable. like it was impossible. “i didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“what? i’ve told you guys this,” you frowned, your voice wavering to a degree.

you stared at the four girls with an eyebrow cocked up while they turned to each other and shook their heads, a few whispers floated in the air and into your ears. you had spoken about miles to these girls before, you were positive. he was never a secret, you just weren’t someone who posted online a lot. in fact, you only had instagram because your mom made you sign up. you’d never posted once. either way, it’s your relationship. you didn’t want everyone in your business, that’s where mess was rooted. that's how problems started.

what mess the unforeseen treatment you were receiving was rooted in? that was a mystery to you. you didn’t understand how the girls who were supposed to be your friends could switch up on you at the speed of light. there hadn’t been any fights or arguments between any of you—to your knowledge, at least.

you’ve always preached that there are two sides to every story, but you also preached communication. you all were cool last night while confirming today’s plans, now suddenly they know nothing about you?

nobody questioned you about miles. instead, yanira broke the silence that you’d spent lost in your thoughts, trying to make sense of the uncomfortable situation you were in with purely scraps. “well, good thing we found you now.” she pursed her lips afterwards, clearly stifling a laugh.

words couldn’t describe how stupid and naive you felt. they were trying to play you in your face and thought you were oblivious to it. you were starting to think so too. maybe they’d been playing in your face this entire time. maybe they’ve been acting for the duration of your friendship. maybe there were signs this entire time and you didn’t notice until now. maybe the idea of meeting new people thrilled you too much, and they took advantage of that when they realized it.

you weren’t lashing out over everything going on in the name of “staying calm.” you couldn’t grant anyone the satisfaction of knowing they struck a nerve, and bad. you were just as committed to keeping up with your act as they were to theirs, and nothing was going to make you let up.

“we were just about to grab some food,” tiesha added after yanira, smiling ever so innocently, as if she was oblivious to the treatment you were receiving. tiesha was the one you were the closest with, so that hurt. stung even.

“thanks, but i have other plans,” you faked a smile and made sure to look each one of your “friends” dead in each of their glowering, dull eyes.

adana’s face contorted in slight indignation. “how could you have plans? were you only gonna hang with us for an hour?”

“i was heading out before i ran into you guys,” you smiled and shrugged, checking the time on your phone. “gotta go now or i’ll miss the train. i’ll see you guys at school on monday.”

those insolent girls gave you the stink eye as deviated away. a few steps farther from fakery and you could already hear the whispers and the murmurs, even if the mall was loud. they sounded more like hisses the farther away you got, until they blended into the many, many sounds of your local mall. you were thankful to be free from that conversation—if you could even call it that.

your next chat oughta be a real one. though you hated it, confrontation was just around the corner.

❤︎₊ ⊹

“and then they acted like absolutely nothing was wrong… tiesha too!”

you were seated on one end of the couch in miles’ apartment, your legs crossed and resting on top of his thighs and a pillow between the arm of the couch and your back. miles hadn’t told you what the surprise was yet, and quite frankly, it had slipped your mind entirely. you were never good when it came to keeping your emotions in check. the fury boiling and seething inside you was so immense that you couldn’t give anything but what happened at the mall even half of a thought even if you wanted to. miles was steadily running his hand up and down the bottom half of one of your legs because he knew it’d help you calm you down. it was something he did by default while you were ranting, because when you were upset over something, you could go on for hours.

miles was a teen girl’s diary that could talk back. you had been on a twenty-minute tangent about what transpired at the mall, making sure to include even the most minor details that other people would view as futile. your boyfriend made sure you knew he was listening, nodding and making a few comments when you’d pause to catch your breath. most people would hate hearing someone complain for as long as you usually did, but miles didn't mind it. in fact, he enjoyed it. it wasn’t your anger that he savored, he just loved staring at your pretty face. you had miles in a trance forever and always. your beauty would forever captivate the boy and you were well aware. the difference between now and when you weren’t blowing smoke out of your ears was that miles could admire every feature without you teasing him for it, because you wanted him to pay attention. in any other instance, you loved pointing out how much he stares and making fun of him for it as if you’re not just as head over heels.

“i feel pathetic. i waited there for a goddamn hour. and you wanna know what the worst part about all of this is?” you exhaled, your irises peering directly into miles’.

even when you were upset, you could admire him. you were doing it in that moment. last time it was his eyes, now it was his hair. the sun rays looming from the unfolded blinds painted his afro a soft brown, singling out and defining numerous strands of those gorgeous spirals sprouting from his head. he was so perfect to you. you often had trouble believing you could call him yours.

“tell me,” miles retorted, slightly angling his head to the left.

“i wore a good outfit for nothing,” you whined, tipping your head back concurrently. “i just got this tracksuit! this is honestly ten times worse than wasting a good outfit on a boring day.”

you had on a black, velvet matching set from juicy couture. it was expensive and you were pissed to have had wasted your first wear on the day you found out your friends aren’t shit. miles remembered how excited you were to buy that outfit. you’d talked about saving the money for it for what felt like forever.

“you didn’t waste your outfit,” miles assured you, drawing confusion to your face almost immediately. “i still have a surprise, you know.”

“right,” your eyes lit up and you sat up straighter, disregarding your mood. “i was thinking about it on the subway and i have a few guesses.”

“i don’t think you’ll be able to guess this one, but you can try," he laughed lowly.

“cookies?” you started.

miles shook his head. “no.”

“a cat?”

“no, mami,” he laughed.

“ummm,” you tapped your chin like you were deep in thought. your dark-colored orbs traveled to the ceiling. “movie marathon night?”

“better.”

you snapped your fingers. “christmas movie marathon night."

“no movies,” miles clarified.

“beyoncé?”

“not beyoncé.”

“i can do your makeup?!”

“nope.”

“you got me,” you rolled your eyes and blew raspberries. “i give up. spill.”

“i know you wanted to go to the fair during the summer, but i didn’t take you because i knew you’d complain about the heat,” miles began. “now that it’s november, i figured it’d be the perfect time to go.”

“oh shit, for real?!” your eyes slightly widened as you swung your legs off of miles.

“i don’t see why i wouldn’t be,” he retorted. “we’ll take the train and walk the rest of the way.”

you jumped off of the couch in excitement and shuffled behind the piece of furniture to grab your purse. you glanced over at miles, who was now scrolling on his phone. you crept up on him from behind the couch and inched close to his ear.

“get up!” you demanded playfully, grabbing his shoulders. miles slightly flinched, and you burst into a fit of laughter at his reaction.

“okay, okay!” he stood up, rolling his eyes and smiling. “i was thinking we could wait a little bit before we went.”

“nope, no time to waste,” you insisted. you’d wasted enough of that with your “friends.”

your boyfriend told you about all of the abilities that he acquired when he became spider-man, one of them being his heightened senses. you used to expect them to go off whenever you were approaching him, or whenever you scared him, but they never did. when you inquired about it, miles told you that his senses were most likely there to protect him, therefore they’d only go off when they felt like someone or something posed a threat. he didn’t elaborate any further, but you got what you needed to out of it.

knowing that miles and his radioactive dna felt safe around you made you feel special.

❤︎₊ ⊹

you hadn't been to a fair since you were ten. you had gone with your cousins, your mom, and your aunt. back then, you weren't smart enough to know how to play any of the games correctly. you weren't tall enough to ride anything that looked cool to you, either. you despised always having to settle for the teacups and the carousel.

going back to the fair wasn't really a priority until that past summer. it just happened to be on the long list of things you wanted to do with miles.

the air outside was cool and crisp and the sun probably felt threatened by the clouds obstructing its view of the city with insomnia. you were relieved to not feel the sweltering heat beating down on you, especially since you had worn the sun’s favorite color in velvet. the leaves on the trees were turning orange now. you were entranced by one tree in particular, watching as the plant detached itself from the branch of the tree and danced in the wind on the way to the ground.

at the front gate, you held out your hand so one of the employees could give you a stamp, as did miles. the stamp was an orange leaf, but it didn't really show up on your darker-colored skin no matter how you squinted.

now that you were there, the fair was much more different than you pictured it to be. though you wanted to experience as much as you could, you had three main goals in mind:  1. win an unnecessarily oversized plush 2. take pictures in a photo booth 3. go on the ferris wheel

as long as you were able to say you did all of those things by the end of that night, you’d forget all the misfortune that the first half of the day bestowed upon you and forgive the universe for allowing it.

as you strolled the fair grounds with miles, you tried to catch a glimpse of everything there was to do as you passed. the fair was bustling with people. there were families, groups of friends, trios, duo. there were also couples, like you and miles. you even saw people by themselves every so often. your day could’ve ended like that, you were elated that you didn’t feel alone anymore, but you’d never say it out loud.

“whatcha wanna do first?” miles asked you. he was being just as observant as you, if not more.

you squinted your eyes ahead and a specific game caught your eye. “let’s play basketball, i’ll definitely whoop your ass this time.”

“big talk for someone who can barely even shoot baskets when we're on the court,” miles fired back. “whoever wins gets to choose what we do next.”

“fine by me,” you shrugged.

you two grabbed a single basketball from your lanes when you got over to the game. you saw miles adjust his grip on the ball from the corner of your eye. you reduced your eyes to slits in response and pressed your lips together.

when the bell rang and the timer began to count down, you both shot your balls into the baskets. both of them made it in. you were doing fine for the first couple of seconds, but then your balls began to veer away from your basket. you quickly glanced over at miles’ scoreboard to find that he was eight scores ahead of you. you furrowed your brows and began throwing balls into the goal again, making the first three shots and missing the last two. you were on autopilot from that moment on, throwing balls at your goal without stopping to celebrate nor gripe.

just as you reached down for a basketball to make another shot, the timer went off, indicating the end of the game. you looked up at your scoreboard to find that you’d only gotten twenty-eight shots. you could already feel miles’ eyes boring a hole through your head, patiently waiting on you to look over at his lane and accept defeat.

you gave in to defeat and scanned his final scoreboard: fifty-eight shots.

you finally looked over at the boy and he was smirking slyly. “yeah, so i’m tryna play the game with the water guns and the targets.”

you would’ve much preferred to find a photo booth next, but a deal was a deal, so you brushed off your loss. neither of you had a map, so you weren't sure where any of the games were. you two agreed to wing it, so you and miles roamed around for a while. you made small talk and miles teased you for being so confident that you'd win the last game.

finally, you came across the mini-game he wanted to play. your face lit up when you saw all the stuffed animals hanging from the rack above. you could get behind this.

the worker was on her phone, visibly nodding off until you two approached the game. you caught a glimpse of her rolling her eyes and shoving her phone in the back pocket of her black jeans. though she was clearly fed up by the presence of you and your boyfriend, she thoroughly explained the rules of the game. miles had to strike down moving targets with a water gun. the targets would move left to right, up and down, or both. he had to shoot all of them to win, and he only got five minutes to do so.

the worker hit the red button and miles was on the clock.

the targets were the typical kind: white circles with red circular stripes, and a red bullseye in the middle. you watched keenly as miles gripped the gun and squeezed one of his eyes shut for precision, pulling the trigger and shooting a line of water at two of the targets with ease. to his surprise, they began to move faster. he was still hitting them though.

the employee was paying miles no mind, already turned around and back on her phone, texting away. even though dealing with those targets was like breathing for miles, he decided to take a shortcut. just for fun.

while the worker wasn’t looking, miles handed you the water gun and used his web-shooters to swiftly shoot down the last five targets. your eyes enlarged at him in a panic and before you could really think about it, you sprayed the webbing off of the targets miles shot down with them.

the worker turned back around when she heard the winner’s bell ringing. by that time, the water gun was already back in miles' hand. the worker stared at the both of you in confusion. miles looked proud of himself. you nervously smiled and shrugged.

the worker rolled her eyes before they traveled over to the selection of toys and stuffed animals just above her. “pick a prize, any prize,” she said unenthusiastically.

“which one do you want, mama?” miles asked you.

“umm…” your voice trailed off. your eyes glossed over all the different plushies until one caught your eye. “stitch for sure.”

the worker nodded and unhooked the stuffed animal from the rack. she quickly handed it to miles and gave him a quick half-assed smile before resuming her bored expression. miles passed you the stuffed animal and you smiled brightly. you remembered this feeling, and you felt like a little kid all over again.

“he’s our son now,” you proudly declared.

“he’s too big for that,” miles teased you. “that’s a grown man.”

you gave miles a dirty look and punched him in the shoulder. “i won’t let you body shame our son.”

“my bad!” miles laughed and put his hands up in defense.

"yeah, whatever," you gave miles an eye roll and grimaced. you clocked the worker glaring at you two from the corner of your eye, so you grabbed miles' hand and hurriedly dragged him away from the booth. "we gotta go before she sees the pile of webs on the ground and has cps investigate us. she already hates us, what if she makes us return our son?”

"that's your main concern?" miles' eyes widened. "not the worker finding out i'm a superhero?"

“why would i be worried about that?" you inquired playfully. "i shouldn't have to lose my baby because you wanted to risk your identity."

you both laughed as you wandered along the paths of the fair aimlessly. neither of you knew what you where you were going next, but you were way too immersed in your debate to think about it. amidst your little parley, the sun finally escaped from the clouds' cover, the sky shifting to a warm orange and light shades of pink instead of the gray it had greeted you with.

“by the way, that was very much cheating,” you chuckled, thinking back to the mini-game. “you need to play fair next time. no web-shooters.”

“we had no opponents,” your boyfriend reminded you.

“the employee seemed like one,” you replied, thinking back to the looks she’d give you two. “i didn’t even know you had your shooters on you… anyway, that means stitch is an accident.” you frowned.

miles' nose wrinkled. “man, what?”

“i’m just chattin’,” you snickered.

“per usual,” miles shook his head, slinging his arm around your shoulder and shaking his head.

you two kept walking aimlessly for a little while, but you stopped dead in your tracks when you spotted a photo booth. you briefly made eye contact with miles before briskly snatching up his arm, pulling him as you sped over to the booth.

“the booth’s not gonna disappear, damn!” miles from behind you, panting with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

“it could,” you shrugged, gesturing to the curtain with your free hand. “get in.”

“stitch won’t fit in there,” miles pointed out.

you frowned and observed your surroundings. you knew stitch was bound to get stolen if you left him outside unattended. you continued to glance around, trying to come up with a simple, but logical solution. your eyes stopped on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench by herself, flipping through a novel. she had on a white sweater with a black dress underneath, her long hair braided down and resting on her shoulder. you told miles to wait by the booth and approached the woman with a light-hearted smile on your face.

“hi, excuse me," you spoke softly in an attempt to make a good impression.

the lady looked up at you, half-surprised. she adjusted the position glasses with her index finger, gently pushing them up the bridge of her nose. “oh, yes?”

“may you please watch this for me while i take pictures with my boyfriend in that booth over there? i promise we won’t be long.”

you looked back at miles and pointed in his direction. though he was clearly confused, he smiled nervously and waved anyway. you turned back around to face the woman and smiled again.

“of course i will, dear,” the lady replied, a smile gracing her lips. she waved back at miles.

“thank you so much,” you smiled graciously, setting stitch next to her on the bench. you were ready to go back to miles when the woman stopped you by calling out. you whipped around, biding patiently in the same spot until she spoke.

“cherish the memories that you’re making. all of them.”

you didn’t exactly know what she meant, but then your last trip to the fair came to mind. it was so long ago, but you had almost forgotten how much fun you’d had, even if you couldn’t do much. you never wanted to make the mistake of taking memories for granted whilst you’re making them, because then you'd miss them too much when they were in the past, at least that's how you saw it. the future is uncertain. life is cruel. that day at the fair as a toddler could’ve been the first and the only time you ever went. today could be the second and the last. you hadn’t really thought about any of that before. you hadn’t thought about how precious your memories really were.

“and make them with the right people.”

you knew what that meant.

your eyes lowered, confusion evident on your face anyway. “how do i know if they’re the right people?”

“you’ll know. intuition is real. if something feels wrong or right, you'll know. listen to what your body is telling you, my dear,” the lady replied, crossing one leg over the other and opening her book back up.

your eyes widened slightly as you were still a tad bit lost, but you nodded. "okay. i will."

you jogged back to the photo booth, excitement coursing through your veins. miles didn’t bother questioning your tactics this time.

you both sat down in the photo booth and miles drew the curtain shut. he sat back and you tapped the screen, selecting two printouts so you could both keep one. before you even got the chance to retrieve your wallet from your purse, miles was sliding a couple dollars inside the machine. you hadn’t even noticed them in his hand before.

“today is my treat. you’re not paying for anything,” he told you.

“boo. i can’t spoil my man every now and then?” you clicked your tongue. “i’ll get you those comics you wanted instead.”

miles shook his head and chuckled. when the timer on the screen began to count down from ten, you fixed your braids and made sure your clothes looked presentable.

“i have ideas,” you announced to miles. you'd be envisioning this moment in your mind for ages. “just let me lead.”

“you the boss,” miles conceded in compliance.

“cool,” you giggled. you slid your hand under miles' chin and pulled him closer until your lips were pressed onto his cheek. you stayed in the same position with your eyes closed until you heard the first flash. the next photo was simple, a shot of you and miles kissing. the third one was the both of you looking at each other and laughing. it wasn’t planned, but miles had made a joke so you didn’t have time to pose any differently.

in the following ten seconds, you made miles your canvas, scattering kissing all over his face. he was confused until he looked at the screen to see all that your lips were imprinted on his face with colored lipgloss. he kissed his teeth but then laughed. your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and that was the last photo. it was your favorite.

you waited for the photo strips to print and then left the booth. you immediately snapped your neck towards the bench to see your stitch plushy still sitting with the older lady. you sighed in relief and jogged over to her.

“thank you again!” you beamed, grabbing the stuffed animal.

you had a feeling she knew you were also thanking her for the unsolicited advice. you'd never understand how some older people were so good at reading others.

“you’re welcome, dear,” she waved goodbye and you waved back.

you wouldn’t forget what she told you.

you then went back to miles, expressing how happy you were that stitch wasn’t stolen. you went on and on about what a terrible mother you would’ve been, had you lost your child after not even twenty minutes of having him.

a few minutes later, miles caught you staring at some nearby concession stands. you didn’t eat anything before leaving his flat, but the line was a bit lengthy. you were silently trying to decide whether the wait would be worth it.

“you hungry?”

you nodded, settling for waiting in a long queue over an empty stomach. “starving."

❤︎₊ ⊹

it was getting late now. the sun was nowhere in sight and neither was the end of the night. the cool fall breeze felt nice against your soft skin. you wished that you could live in this part of the day for eternity, playfully bickering with miles as if you wouldn’t cling to him a few minutes later during the drop on a rollercoaster.

up to that point, you had gone on at least thirteen rides and played nine competitive mini-games. miles ended up winning most of them, despite him saying he’d go “easy on you.” you’d always respond to loss by saying you won in your heart, and he’d laugh at you. you’d pretend to be upset until you couldn’t fake it anymore and laughed along with him.

now, you and miles were sitting on grass, the synthetic kind. you two had shared a peculiarly long corn dog. you claimed that was enough for you, but miles ordered nachos too, and you shamelessly snatced up a sizable amount of them. food just tasted better when it wasn't yours.

after hours of being offline, you finally had a phone break. you sent your mom a text to check in with her before navigating to your email app. you scrolled through your recent until you came across the digital copies of the pictures you and miles took in the photo booth earlier sitting in your inbox. “i got the digital version of the photos. they're so cute!" you exclaimed.

miles grinned. “send ‘em to me later on."

“will do,” you agreed, looking back up to see him stood up from the ground with stitch in hand.

“i’ma rent out a locker to keep this guy inside of and then head to the bathroom,” he told you.

“okay, i’ll be here,” you nodded.

whenever you were out with anyone, you always thought it was common courtesy not to reply to texts that weren’t urgent. you never wanted to make anyone in your life feel like your focus wasn’t on them while you were spending time together. that being said, you hadn’t thoroughly gone through your notification center since you were at the mall. since miles was gone for a little, you thought it was a good time to deliver a few textbacks, because you knew that after tonight, you wouldn’t have any energy to do so until the next day.

you didn’t have any notifications from the calculus group chat, no surprise there. you had an older one from your mom from before you checked in, but she was just sending a tiktok. the next one down was tiesha and then adana. a pit formed in your stomach and you nervously chewed on the inside of your cheek. despite the uneasy feeling you had, you opened tiesha’s text first.

tiesha💞: [name] (5:46pm) tiesha💞: miles is your boyfriend?? (5:46pm)

‘not this again’ you thought.

you didn’t know what you were expecting the text to say, but it wasn’t that. this wasn’t a topic you wanted to circle back on, given everyone’s initial reactions. and you thought she knew—you thought everyone knew. maybe you weren’t as close with tiesha as you thought you were. or any of those girls.

you: yes... i’ve said this before (7:34pm)

you: literally with him rn. why? what’s the problem? (7:35pm)

your brows were knitted together as you anticipated a reply, your fingers drawing circles in midair just centimeters above the keyboard. you were biting the left side of your lip and your teeth were close to piercing the skin. tiesha's response came quick despite your late reply.

tiesha 💞: miles morales? the one i told you i like?? (7:36pm)

you read the text and had to do a double-take. your stomach dropped all over again. you had an exceptional memory. tiesha had never mentioned miles to you, like, ever. she hadn't mentioned any crush of hers to you at all. you just assumed she wasn't interested in dating.

you: i don’t remember you saying anything about like any miles.. but yeah he’s my boyfriend. (7:36pm) you: he has been for months now. i told y’all this, so idk why you were acting all confused @ the mall. (7:37pm)

tiesha 💞: if we knew then why would we be acting confused? 😐 (7:37pm)

you narrowed your eyes at the screen. you could tell her tone was meant to be harsh.

you: i don’t know, tiesha. (7:38pm) you: maybe for the same reason y’all were acting confused when you found me by myself at the spot that we agreed to meet at tday?? 🤦‍♀️ (7:38pm)

tiesha 💞: we said you could come hang w us (7:39pm) tiesha 💞: you’re the one who left (7:39pm)

you released an exasperated sigh as you read her response. you thought back to what the lady who watched stitch for you told you earlier. you couldn’t stick around these girls for any longer. they weren’t the people you wanted to make memories with. perhaps they were nothing more than a much needed lesson. you partially learned how to socialize, but you also needed to learn how to stand up for yourself. you were growing up. nobody else was going to do it for you.

you: i left bc you guys were acting weird towards me (7:40pm) you: idk what the deal is, but if there’s a problem you need to be straight up about it. (7:40pm) you: we all agreed to meet at the food court, but i opened ig to see y’all posing in a mirror while i’m sitting alone. why’d you even invite me atp?? (7:40pm)

tiesha 💞: i thought adana was lying when she said you got with miles, behind my back but ig she was right. (7:40pm) tiesha 💞: you weird af for that. you know i like him (7:41pm)

you: fym bro.. ??? 😭 i literally did not (7:41pm) you: and either way, he’s BEEN my boyfriend (7:42pm)

tiesha 💞: yk you only got w him to tick me off 🖕 (7:42pm)

you: ok wtv. (7:44pm) you: you guys showed me what kind of people you really are, so best believe i’m not sticking around anyway. you can tell that to eb else.(7:45pm) you: and i don't know what you thought you were doing. miles has been MY boyfriend for almost over a year now. he’ll continue to be my boyfriend for years to come, thanks. (7:47pm)

you didn't hesitate to leave the group chat and block those girls everywhere. they didn’t get to have access to you anymore. it felt like weight was lifted off your shoulders and you silently celebrated in your head. you were still in public and didn’t want to draw attention to you because you were cheering about cutting people off. at least you were free from the burden, even if you had a few less friends now.

“ready to go to the ferris wheel?”

you glanced up from your phone to see miles towering over you, both of hands in the pockets of his green puffer. you smiled big. this was the last thing on your checklist, and the thing you’d been looking forward to since you set foot on fair grounds.

“duh,” you giggled, reaching your arm out so miles could pull you up. after he did, you brushed off your outfit and cleared your throat. “so, do we know which way it is?”

“nope,” miles answered. “we’ll just start walking and hope we come across a map, or something.”

you raised and eyebrow and smirked. “so like we’ve been doing this whole time?”

“like we’ve been doing this whole time,” he echoed.

“i guess it makes it more adventurous,” you decided as you two began to walk away from the grass. you clasped your hand with his. “plus, i can tell you what happened with tiesha while you were in the bathroom while we look for it.”

miles’ eyebrows elevated. “something happened?”

“yep,” you shake your head in annoyance. “tiesha had a crush on you or something. apparently, she didn’t know we were together, so she thinks i got with you just to spite her.”

“how wouldn’t she know?”

“that’s what gets me!” you pointed your index at miles’ chest and tilted your head back in irritation. “i told her and the other three, so i don’t know why they were acting clueless! plus, she swears up and down i knew she liked you. that girl never said a word.”

“from everything you’ve told me today… it sounds like they just don’t like you,” he frowned, speaking in a way that told you he was trying not to hurt your feelings.

“they don’t,” you sighed, tilting your head up slightly. “that’s why we’re not friends anymore. i told tiesha to tell everyone else we won't be talking anymore.”

"really? are you okay?"

you reluctantly nodded. "yeah, i think i'm okay." you were telling the truth. in the moment, you were okay. maybe it'd bother you later, but all that mattered was that it wasn't bothering you now.

miles’ expression softened in relief. “that’s good. i’m glad you’re learning not to take b.s.”

you covered your mouth and snickered when you heard "b.s." for whatever reason, you thought it was humourous coming out of miles' mouth.

“no, really,” miles insisted anyway. “i’m proud of you.”

you didn’t ask for confirmation because you believed him even if you found the delivery funny. “thank you, miles.”

he smiled and pulled you closer, planting a kiss on your forehead. you grinned and pressed your ear against his arm. you made sure to take in and appreciate each and every step you took forward with your lovely boyfriend. you were cherishing a memory that wasn’t one yet, but tonight felt far too special not to. you absorbed everything to the scenery and the moonlight to the warmth that clinging to miles' arm gave you.

as if it was looking for you two and not the other way around, you and miles found your way to the ferris wheel without even having to seek out direction. surprisingly, the queue wasn’t at all demanding. when you got closer to the front of the line, you thought of something. you needed something to remember your favorite memory by, anyway.

“we should take a picture in front of the wheel,” you suggested to your boyfriend. “we can ask someone to do it for us.”

“bet,” miles pulled his phone out of his back pocket of his jeans.

he turned around and kindly asked a random girl standing in line behind you two if she could take the photo for you. she thankfully agreed and miles swiped to the camera app and handed her his cell. you two backed up a bit and the girl told you where to stand so that the photo would look better. you took a few pictures standing in front of the wheel side by side, miles’ arm around your shoulders. you two were hugging in one of the shots and he was kissing your forehead in the other.

after those pictures, you took miles’ arm and made him face a different direction. now your shoulders were to the camera lens and the ferris wheel. you snaked your arms around his neck and he instinctively placed his arms around your waist. this was one of your favorite poses, miles knew what to do by now.

you glanced down at your feet and took a step closer to miles so the distance you two wouldn’t look awkward. you lifted your head back up to meet his gaze. the boy was looking at you and you could’ve sworn you saw hearts forming in his eyes. he wasn’t just looking at you, he was admiring you. there was a difference, and you could tell.

but it’s not like you weren’t doing the same.

you whispered loud enough for only miles to hear. “i love you."

“i love you more."

you shifted onto your toes and miles slightly leaned down to reach you. your lips connected effortlessly, your eyes fluttering closed in unison. the ferris wheel lights glimmered behind you two as miles deepened the kiss. you mindlessly lifted your hands to his cheek, your thumbs gently caressing his soft, warm skin.

“got it!” the girl taking the photo called out.

you and miles slowly withdrew your bodies apart and she approached you two, handing miles the phone. you both thanked the girl and got back in line. your gaze was fixed on the structure above you. all you could think about was how pretty the sky was bound look from all the way up there.

you excitedly entered the cabin when it was finally you and miles’ turn. the designated employee shut the door and your eyes immediately glued themselves to the window. you were just barely going up, and you already had a better view of the fair and all of the lights.

“you seeing this, miles?” you questioned without even daring to rip your eyes away from the window.

“i am,” he smiled. your reaction to the view made him happier than any angle of the world around him ever could.

as you ascended higher up, you focused more on what was above ground rather than on it. the luminous stars painted the night sky like white spatters of paint would paint a black canvas. they glittered brightly above you while the ferris wheel slowly spun.

you turned your head back to miles to smile at him, but he beat you to it. you felt like the luckiest girl alive. you were thankful to have at least one person who was true to you. that alone was more than enough. 

miles was more than enough.

the moonshine illuminated your beguiling features as you admired its fullness and its beauty. your head was rested on miles’ shoulder and his arm was sitting around your waist, the other one holding your hand in his lap. you knew you’d look back on this and recall that you never took this day or the feeling that came with it for granted, not once.

this felt so right—you didn’t know how to explain it. tonight was perfect and you would never change a thing. everything was how it should be. you were where you should be, you could feel it. this felt right in your soul.

maybe this was it. maybe this is what everyone was talking about.

maybe intuition is real.

❤︎₊ ⊹ bonus:

you and miles had concluded your fair date and were back at his place. you were going to stay for a while before returning to your own. your head was on his shoulder and your legs were curled up in the opposite direction. his hand was evolved in yours, as yours was in his. miles' mom was home and you definitely didn't want to give her the wrong idea by appearing exceedingly handsy.

“i had fun,” you gloated on the day you'd just had as miles browsed through netflix on the tv.

“are you sure? you seemed pretty over it when i beat you at basketball.”

you tongue clicked. "very funny, morales." you thought for a moment. “and thanks for taking me out, by the way. i know you were probably tired from having to fight all morning,” you exhaled.

“it’s no problem,” miles insisted, though you could tell he looked tired. “tomorrow’s sunday, i’ll get some sleep then.”

you both turned your heads when you heard the sound of a door being opened echoed through the hallway followed by rhythmic footsteps. even though you and miles both knew the footsteps belonged to rio, the hallway was dark, so neither you or him could see her until she stepped into the living room. her hair was down instead of being braided or put into a ponytail like it usually was. she was trying to slide a hoop into the earring hole in one of her ears. she was in one of her fancier outfits.

"jeez, you kids been on the couch all day?"

“we went to the fair,” miles replied, a smile tugging at one corner of his lips.

“oh really? explains the oversized oso on your bed. papa, didn’t you use to watch that one show… what was it called? spy oso?”

“special agent oso, mami,” miles corrected her, a hint of embarrassment fermenting in his voice. his teeth were clenched and his eyebrows were furrowed. “and that’s stitch, not a bear.”

you were stifling a laugh, one of your hands shielding the grin on your mouth while the other clutched your stomach. rio didn’t see, but miles did and he rolled his eyes at you.

“i left the snacks in your room, i’ll be right back," you told miles before you got up and disappeared down the hall.

“stitch? what’s a—” rio stopped herself and shook her head. “actually, never mind. how was the fair?”

miles answered her anyway. “it’s an alien, mom. from lilo and stitch. and the fair was good, we had a lot of fun. i can show you pictures later.”

“good,” rio smiled but then broke into a whisper. “miles, mejor la llevas a casa. don’t let that girl wander around all by herself at night.”

“alright, alright,” he put his hands up in defense. “you know i always take her home, calmáte.”

“alright, then. just making sure," rio retorted. "anyway, i’m in a hurry, i’m going to meet your dad, his coworker, and his coworker's wife somewhere. comportarse,” rio cautioned in a stern tone of voice, walking over to the couch and planting a kiss on her son’s cheek.

“i will,” miles promised as his mom hastily walked to the front door.

“tell [name] i’ll see her soon,” rio called out to miles before shutting the door.

a few moments later, you emerged from the shadows that lurked in the hall and took your seat next to miles on the couch. you scooted closer to him and pulled the blanket over both of your legs, handing him his bag of chips then opening your own. he hadn’t chosen something for you guys to watch yet.

“where’d your mom go?” you inquired, looking around.

“somewhere with dad,” miles answered, shrugging his shoulders at the same time. “she told me to say she’ll see you soon though.”

“aww,” you grinned. you really did love rio. you had to stop yourself from chuckling when you recalled her bringing up one of the shows miles used to watch as a kid. as hilarious as you found the whole thing, you held in your laugh anyway. you refocused your attention to the tv on the other side of the coffee table. it didn't take you long to realize that your beloved boyfriend still had yet to choose a movie to watch or a show to binge.

“what should we watch tonight?... homecoming?”

“jesus, no,” miles frantically shook his head, waving his arms around in a panic.

you were referring to beyoncé's 2018 coachella headlining performance movie. you’d made the boy watch the film with you more times than he could count on you two's twenty fingers combined. miles knew the name's every song being performed, the lyrics, and what order they were performed in. he had almost memorized all of the dance breaks, but not willingly. he swore that the word “homecoming” alone triggered some kind of ptsd. miles knew you too well. he was well aware that the renaissance movie would be a homecoming repeat, but maybe ten times worse. he'd been mentally preparing for that as well.

“booooo, you’re boring,” you frowned.

“thanksgiving is coming up, how about that one charlie brown movie?”

“only if we can binge christmas movies after.”

“deal.”

maybemymali ©

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[pascalsbby]

CARNAL / Chapter 4: Defile

Joel’s POV <3

Chapter 3 / CARNAL Masterlist

Summary: 5K/ f!reader, dark!joel, dbf!joel, stalker!joel.

Warnings: 18+ mdni, SMUT, age gap, Joel defiles you, talks to you through it, then comforts you. dominate & aggressive joel, pet names, praise kink, stalking, p in v, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), spitting, talk of anal + the usual pure filth. you’re so welcome.

Made this extra nasty for my Joel girlies <3

“The enormity of my desire disgusts me.” - Richard Siken

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

Joel doesn’t want it to be this way, but it just is, and he thinks it always has been. A shameful nagging that started even before his wife decided she didn’t want him anymore. Maybe she saw it, the pinhole, sitting slightly to the right of his chest, veering ever so slightly towards his heart.

Women are better at telling those things, just knowing this and that. Identifying the rotten thing before they ingest it.

He’d been captivated by other women before. Coworkers, thigh-high wearing sweethearts at the bar. Sarah’s friends. His ex wife’s friends. It was easier to keep up with them when he knew where they lived, worked, who they hung out with. Accidentally running into them at the local corner store… offering to pump their gas whenever he happened to be there, too.

This was different though.

The chasm cracked the day Sarah had shown him the photographs of you. He felt the sudden release of tension before the pain of the wound itself settled in. This… this is what his being had been searching for, right? You. And it just took longer cause he’s 26 or so years your senior. He’d lived an entire life before you, the same amount of time you’ve been alive.

If anyone was gonna save you, it’s him.

He spent hours in the depths of whatever website would give him what he needed to sustain his interest. He knew exactly where you grew up, he’d walked the beige colored halls before. But that wasn’t enough. What door was yours in Sarah’s apartment complex? Before he found out, he bet it was the one with the evil eye mat in the front. He was right.

What car held you as you drove through town… when’s the last time you checked the oil? He found out quickly, knew you wore your seatbelt too. Good girl. He’d even opened the hood one evening and checked the oil. It was entirely too low, so he filled it up. You needed to check this stuff.

What bars did you frequent? One was The Strip, where you spent most your time outside at the bar politely dodging older ‘men’.

He knew your favorite aisle of the water-damaged grocery store down the street. You spent the most time deciding on which hand soap you wanted, smelling them all and scrunching your nose when you didn’t like the smell.

What boys were you seeing? And at what times? As far as he could tell, none. And that’s how he liked it. But he couldn’t be inside your long classes with you, and he gave up sitting outside of them a couple weeks ago. They were three hours long and you usually went straight home. What if there was a boy in there?

He needed to physically insert himself into your life and then maybe… maybe you’d want him to stay. See how good for you he could be.

When he turned from the nude woman painted on the wall, a version of you in oil, to the warm, guts and roaring blood of you- the gash completely tore itself open in the moments it took for his eyes to eat you in. Every nerve ending in his forty plus years heeding, 7 trillion of them.

God you were a pretty little thing. He knew that, from watching you defile yourself for him over a screen. Listening to your pussy shush itself as you slipped your fingers between your folds, cooing at him. But having seen these things before, having seen every crevice of you, didn’t stop his cock from all but jumping towards you. He wanted to be in those crevices; tasting, smelling, feeling.

He’d never been a man to beg, but he’d do it for you.

He knew too, in that moment, that you hated him the moment your eyes settled upon his face and your heart, body, told you precisely who he was; before he’d even reached out his hand and introduced himself. Before he even got the chance to touch your skin. What a hard-ass.

Here you were in front of him, pretending like he didn’t just tear your world open. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t think of another way to do it… there was no other way. You wouldn’t have met him if he asked, or on the off chance you would, you wouldn’t have stayed long enough for him to explain himself after he uttered a few words of who he actually was.

You’d spent too much time being told, screamed at, by men telling you what to do. Why would you listen to him? He knew it. But he was hoping that your chest opened for him, too. That you had the same defect for him.

He had to get you in public, around the people who you were hiding your secret from. That was the easiest way to guarantee that it stayed that way. No telling Sarah, no telling your dad.

You had looked so scared. And it thrilled him, honestly. He had that over you. You were trembling and he wanted nothing more than to bend down and lick the sweat from your forehead. He did that, made you feel that way, had that control. It meant he had a chance to talk you out of the fear. Fuck it out of you, even. Hush your whimpers and screams into his palm.

He needed to see you, touch you, smell you. Seeing you over a computer screen, no matter how intimate, was not enough. He feared what he would do if, when on his stalking sprees, he saw you with another man. He needed to get this feeling out of himself, before he hurt someone.

“I said, excuse me.” You interrupted your dad.

Joel's instincts took over as he reached out for you, his fingers grazing the warmth emanating from your hip beneath your dress as you pass, almost walking through him. He is struck by the velvet-like softness that greets his touch, a sensation that lingers in his fingertips as a dull ache. Your warmth seeps through his skin, ripping the hole in his chest even further than he thought imaginable.

How could these two realities simultaneously exist on the same plane?

That deep-rooted desire to comfort the hurt within you. To hold the ever-wounded little girl and brush his lips across your forehead. Tell you that he’s here, you’re just fine. He’ll protect you. Lay you down on his chest and shhh your fears away. You deserve to be protected.

He wanted to raise goosebumps across your freckled shoulders and be the person you melt into at the end of the day. He wanted you to intertwine your tired bones with his.

He would do, be, better this time around. You wouldn’t leave him like she did, no. You would devour yourself for him, spit back out your bones and let him put them back together.

There was another place within him where he desperately needed your body. He needed to feel your hole flutter against his tongue, his cock. One where he could slip his spit covered fingers into your tight heat and stretch you just big enough to fit the girth of him. The sound that would vibrate through your lips would unnerve him, he would do anything for you. Fill any hole you wanted.

You’d fit around him so tight, so well. Always such an obedient sweetheart for him. “Oh c’mon darlin’, use your words. Pull them apart, oh goooood. Shhh. You can take it. It’ll only hurt for a minute Birdie.”

He wanted to push you onto the ground beneath him and unravel your inhibitions- force you to come undone for him. He yearned to scatter bite marks across your soft stomach and side, lick between your breasts, kiss the back of your knees.

He wondered what his initials would look like carved into your soft inner thighs. Marked by him, for him.

How could he undo you while trying to hold you together? A deafening need heaved through his chest. It fucking hurts.

He knew, deep down, that you would willingly surrender to him. Even though hatred was spewed across your face. Whether he asked kindly enough or convinced you that his involvement was obligatory rather than just desired, he sensed you would comply. He couldn’t help that his blood simmered for you, it stung him. He felt like he was burning from the inside, out, clawing around in his insatiable desire to explore the depths of you. To feel those depths with his fingers, his cock, his tongue, his nose.

He gathered himself out of his thoughts, and drew his body toward the path you had taken in your escape. He didn't pause to ponder the questions that would be asked: why he, out of all people—neither your mother, father, nor best friend—was the one chasing after you.

It was him. It had to be. It always has been. He had decided it the day he met you that summer, the first time he heard your laugh. Then, you grew up. And he wanted more. He was so fucking ashamed but there was nothing he could do to stop the want. He didn’t try very hard, though.

He didn’t want to stop it, because then that meant you were gone. You wouldn’t have kept accepting the calls if you didn’t want him back. You wouldn’t have nearly fallen to your knees in front of him if you didn’t care. Which is why he stopped trying to get rid of this vile thing you nursed inside of him, because you wanted him, it, just as much. You just haven’t had the chance to realize it for yourself.

The moment he entered your warmth, you would feel it too. He knew.

Why would you lay yourself out for him, reaching down to spread yourself wide open for his view, for his pleasure, and beg him to defile you- if you were just gonna leave?

As he observed you throwing yourself against the metal doors between stairwells, he caught the faint scent of your perfume—notes of bergamot, vanilla, and ire. When your eyes met his, truly and not merely through photographs, he felt an overwhelming urge to drop to his knees and weep in front of you. He wanted to surrender his entire being, to give himself over entirely if it meant that you would believe he meant you no harm besides the kind you wanted. The kind that felt good. That he was chasing a feeling that erupted within him and wouldn’t stop knocking at his chest.

You smelled heavenly, perfume and fear. You embodied the rest of his life.

The whole in his chest was the shape of you.

With a deep breath, he entered the bathroom, realizing that he needed you to remain by his side long enough for him to articulate the growing emotions within him. He yearned to explain why he acted the way he did, hoping that you might find it in your heart to forgive him for just showing up (and being seen this time).

He was still trying to figure it out himself. Why the world chose him for you, and why it was making it so hard for him to fulfill that proposition.

At the beginning he brooded over whether to stay and ultimately hurt you no matter how often he argued within himself that he would never… or to go and leave you be. That wasn’t an option anymore. It never had been, really.

You looked maddened, irate. But the blush kissing your cheeks from the heat of your anger looked so pretty.

“I was 15,” you spat at him. “Do you do this often, Joel? Stalk your daughters friends and tell them how much you want your nasty cock in their mouth? Pay them to strip for you and pay them extra to stick their fingers in their pussy so you can get off? How many? How many fucking girls have you done this to Joel?”

Ouch. You only saw the illicit side of everything he was willing to give you. He was paying you, even, to stay in his life. How could you not see he just wanted to be closer to you? But you weren’t wrong, it did look like that from the outside. An older man pursuing his daughter’s best friend, his best friends daughter. Finding her online, showing up to her gallery show.

Sarah would probably never speak to him again if she knew the extent of his need… the things he’s done to himself in your name. No one knew how much it hurts though, to know you’re out there in a world where he can’t have you all to himself.

He didn’t answer in time.

“Should I ask Sarah?” You continued.

Absolutely fucking not.

“Shh, shh. Lower your fucking voice,” he spat as he stepped towards you. You looked so small beneath him, face red and angry. He gripped your shoulder and pushed you against the concrete wall. He liked having this control over you, and he knew you liked it too in some sick way.

It was easy for you to give up control if it meant cowering down beneath his broadness. He was rock hard.

He felt himself buzzing, seeing the slight shock against your face before you pulled it back and turned it to anger. He watched your nipples harden beneath the thin layer of your dress and knew you wanted this just as bad, whether you admitted to it or not.

This was all for you. The possibility of losing his relationship with his daughter.. this is a small town, he could lose his job, then his house. Everything. All for you to stand here and pretend you don’t want it, basically yelling it down the hallway for everyone to fucking hear. After everything he had given you and how intimate he’d been for you. After just last night, you watched him spit on his fingers and fuck himself.

Yet you stand in front of him, threatening his dissolution.

“One word out of your pretty mouth and I will break you.” He whispered into your hair, once again inhaling you deeply. He kissed your forehead, a weak apology for being quick to anger. But you were starting to thrash around, making it so much harder than it needed to be. So he stood himself sturdy in front of you and put one arm above your head and the other next to your side, pushing you further into the wall.

Maybe if he showed you how good he could make you feel, you’d stay. He just needed to remind your cunt how good a cock felt inside of it.

There was silence, a contemplation.

“Why me?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes.

Fuck, you needed him, it was written all over your face. Who else was going to protect you like could?

“It was your eyes, Birdie.” He admitted.

You continued to run your pretty mouth, but he wasn’t having it. He begged for you to listen to him, but you wouldn’t. Finally, he had enough of your talking.

“If you don’t shut your fuckin’ mouth,” he accidentally spit and watched as you licked it away without thought. Fuck. He would happily give you more. His already hard cock pushed even further against his struggling zipper.

“What? What exactly are you going to do?”

You questioned, softening in tone and running your hands up his chest. That was an invitation. He took it.

“How ‘bout I show you, you fucking brat. You can’t hide from me. I see you, I can see through you. I saw you the very first time our eyes met and I see you now. Wigglin’ beneath my touch. You need me sweet’heart, stop denyin’ it. I know you remember how I made you feel without me even touchin you. So let me touch you.”

Before you could argue some more, he moved his hands to your small shoulders and turned you around. His hands were massive compared to your body, and he liked it. Your curves were dying to be let free, held in too tight by the dress. Your breast, begging to be cupped and played with.

Oh he’d imagined so many times rolling your hard buds between his lips, tonguing them. Your breath hitched, and he let out a low chuckle. Already, you were giving in to him. He knew you would, such a good girl.

He threw the dress to the ground and looked upon you, naked, standing below and in front of him with your palms against the wall. You were completely ready for anything he wanted to give you, stick in you.

He couldn’t help but moan into your skin, you answering in response.

“Now go on, tell me more ‘bout how much you hate me, Birdie,” he growled into your ear, pushing his entire body against yours, taking your breath away as his cock brushed against your back.

You made sounds, no full words.

“That’s such a pretty noise,” he nudged. You didn’t respond but your cunt did, releasing more sticky want.

“S’okay, you can hate me Birdie, but your pussy flutters every time I look at you. She doesn’t hate me, princess, she needs me ‘n she wants me.”

You let out a barely audible fuss.

“Aww lookie there baby, she’s drippin’.”

He reached down and caught the drop with his finger, sucking it clean into your ear as you dizzily looked into the concrete wall, attempting to level your want for him. He didn’t even know if you fully heard his teasing in your state.

“Your effort not to melt under me is truly admirable.” He growled as he stuck out his tongue and ran it along your ear, sucking and breathing, tickling. Fuck. You tasted sweet but your nervousness had caused you to sweat, but he liked that too.

Then, he slid down to his knees so he could be level with your pussy, immediately reaching to spread you open and take you in. He reached in front of you and grabbed a handful of your stomach, pushing your ass more towards his face. He could smell your arousal, and he almost came right then and there, like some goddamn teenager.

Red underwear stared him in the eye, a deeper burgundy down your seem where you’d been dripping for him.

“Oh so fuckin’ pretty sweet girl. Look at that,” he traced his thumb down the back of your cunt, pushing the fabric deeper into the slick already coating them. You whimpered and attempted to buck your hips back, rotating your hips so that your holes were even more open for him.

“Nuh uh uh,” he tutted as you started to squirm even more. That wasn’t gonna do, he needed you still so he could have at you. He dug his thumbs into your ass, spreading you open once again, without a doubt leaving marks that would later bruise, showcasing his want. Reminding you that you were entirely his.

He held your pussy open, air hitting your open holes, licking lines up and down your slit as you moved. Your cunt wide open, showing him that she was ready for him, sucking up a mix of his spit and your cum every time you moaned and your walls fell in on themselves, pushing in and out in want.

He laid his tongue flat and licked from asshole to cunt, flicking and sucking on the thin skin between the two.

He spit.

“You’re the dirtiest girl I’ve ever seen, you know that? Letting me stick my tongue and nose on your pretty little asshole. Want me to fuck you here baby girl?” He circled it, pushing his spit in with the tip of his pointer finger. You whimpered as your hole swallowed the tip.

He knew if he fucked you there right now, the tip of his cock wouldn’t even make it in before he came, and that wasn’t the type of game he wanted to play right now.

“Hmm, I hear you. We’ll save that for next time. It wouldn’t be fair of me not to work you open first.” Breathless, he heard a “please Joel” fall from your lips.

“Oh fuck. Say it again. I’ve been waitin’ for my name to pass your pretty lips.”

He didn’t know how much he needed to hear you mutter his name like that until it hit him in his fucking chest.

“Joel, please.”

He smirked against you, pointing his tongue into your hole, circling and lapping at you as you continued to drip onto his tongue.

“Could taste these sweet juices for the rest of my fuckin’ life.” The sounds your body made as he pointed himself in and out of your cunt were godlike, vulgar.

He told you to keep your palms against the wall and stop moving, your final warning. His nose was covered in you.

“Joel, I-“

“Tell me baby, use your words,” he murmured into you.

“Take me, right now, please. Can’t wait Joel, I’ve been waiting so long.” God you sounded pathetic for him, begging and wanting him.

Without warning he fucked two of his fingers into you, and realized how tight your walls were stretching against them. You were already completely full from just two fingers.

“You wanna take my cock? You’re so tight you can barely handle two of my fingers. So fuckin’ impatient, hmm?” He curled them upwards and the spongey insides of you continued squelching, you tightened around him and he knew what you wanted… needed. You just needed to let go, stop thinking.

“Let it happen. Stop fightin’ it and let it out baby. I’ll catch you.”

You threw your head back and your long hair fell against the top of his head as he crouched below you. He wanted you to cum down his wrist so he could lick it clean in front of you.

You looked pure, hungry, and your body shook around his fingers as all of your sounds immediately stopped. Your orgasm rocked through you and the bathroom was dead silent, only filled with the sounds of his fingers coaxing out more juices.

Then your thighs stopped shaking aggressively and you spoke.

“I can take it. Please Joel. Please, sir.”

He rose from the ground. Did you just fucking call him sir? That was all he needed.

“Then take it.”

Somehow during all of the movement he had taken his cock out of his jeans. It was fully erect, kissing his stomach every time he moved further into your pussy with his face.

He wrapped his large hands around it and guided it to the back of your cunt, precum sticking to your lips. He tapped your cunt with his throbbing tip, moving his cock around to pick up your juices and mix his in with yours.

Finally. Finally you were going to be his.

He wrapped his arm around you from the back, his forearm covering your mouth before you dropped your head back onto his bicep. Your hair was sticking to your face from the sweat, eyes rolled back in anticipation.

And then he was one with you, cock hugged by your tight warmth. And it was everything he thought it would be, but better. He let out grunts as he fucked into you, hips hitting your ass as the sounds of your wetness meeting bounced of the bathroom stall. You fit so well on him, he fit so well against your walls. It was meant to be, he knew even more so now.

Breathless moans left your lips and he bent his head down to swallow them. Sucking on your top lip as you sat limp against him, his body holding you up as you took him like the good girl he knew you always were, would be, for him.

“S’tight baby girl. I don’t know how those little toys even fit in these holes. Gonna need to stretch you out better next time ‘n it won’t hurt so much. I’ll fit you even better next time.” He shushed your moans, dropping his nose into your hair, completely lost and intoxicated by the smell of your sex.

“I-inside,” you managed. He almost shot his spend into you right then. You could warned him before you said something so nasty, so good.

“Want me to cum inside that tight cunt, is that what you’re tryin’t ask me? ‘N what about your daddy, hmm? What would he think ‘bout you walking out of this bathroom with his best friend’s cum drippin’ down your legs?”

Defeated, you let out another sound.

“Dirty girl. I want nothin’ more than to fill you up. But this isn’t the time or the place. You know that.”

You came again, squeezing his cock so tight, and Joel pulled out as fast as he could after your walls kissed against him, wanting, but not letting himself cum just yet.

“Turn around, baby.” He ordered. And you did, slowly and shakily. You were having a hard time catching your breath.

He then pushed you onto your knees from your shoulders, not caring whether he was hurting you or not. All he saw was how fucked you looked, pure bliss still lingering between your legs, tiredness clouding your eyes from cumming multiple times on his cock. It was his turn.

You grunted in pain as your knees hit the floor, and that’s all he needed from you. He cupped his heavy cock and stroked himself, spitting down to it making it even wetter.

“You’re fucking sick, you know that?” The words getting caught in your throat. That’s all he heard as he planted his feet into the ground and threw his head back, grunting as his cum spit out of his aching tip, dripping all over and down your pretty face. He swore he saw the slightest grin reach your lips before you stuck out your tongue and caught the mess he was making.

And then it was over. You were covered in his cum from what didn’t reach your mouth, bare and still shaking. You looked so pathetic, ruined. Your mascara had fallen down your face at some point and it looked like you had been crying.

Now what?

His mind was clear for the first time in months, thinking about how they’d been gone thirty minutes or so. How would they answer the questions that would undoubtedly be thrown their way? How the fuck were you going to be able to get yourself together again, looking like what you did before you came into the bathroom?

You were sitting on the ground, wiping cum from your face with paper towels that you got from above you. Joel reached to the side and handed you your dress after fitting his soft cock back into his jeans.

“Here, baby.” He said softly.

Silence.

There was something hanging in the air, unsaid. Was it guilt? Shame? For acting like complete animals the first time you two were alone together, devouring one another whole.

And then, your shoulders heaved and a deep sob left your mouth. It was the saddest thing he’d ever heard, full of pain and hurt. He immediately felt it in his own chest.

You weren’t going to cry naked on the bathroom floor, so he picked up your dress and held each of your arms up as he put it over your head and dressed you, letting out soft, “shhh”’s to you.

He wet a few paper towels and bent down to face you, gently grasping your face as you were shying away from him, tears falling. Your eyebrows were turned inwards, your face showing just how much pain you were feeling.

He wiped your face softly, focusing underneath your eyes where your mascara was running. He cleaned you up and then held your face in his hands, you, squeezing your eyes shut so he couldn’t see you. Or rather, you couldn’t see him and the look upon his face.

He sat fully on the ground and pulled you into his lap, doing a once-over to make sure you were all dressed and clean. You’re immediately nestled your head into his neck and he placed his large hand on the back of your head, holding you there gently.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby girl. You can let it all out, okay? I’m here baby. Let them out, it hurts too much when you don’t.” He stroked your hair and prayed that you felt comfortable in his arms.

He could tell this was painful for you, crying in front of him- the vulnerability and nakedness it took to completely lose yourself in front of another human. He understood that he had just taken something from you, had just hit something deep within you.

“Birdie, look at me,” he whispered. You opened your eyes without question and waited.

“Be weak with me. Break, rupture, scream. Intertwine your bones with mine and I will hold ‘em safely so they can rest. I’ve got you baby. ‘M not gonna hurt you.”

You didn’t respond, so he put your back against his chest and rocked your slightly, letting you have the silence and calm.

Minutes passed and your sobs eventually stopped, Joel’s shirt soaked from them. You moved so that he was holding you, but could look into your eyes better.

“I’m sorry baby girl, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He let out, shamefully. He knew he could be overpowering, he’d been told before. “Let me stand up and I’ll leave, okay? Tell ‘em that I couldn’t find you but I looked everywhere.”

“You can’t just touch me like that and then leave,” you let out, begging him.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

Notes: Here’s Joel arguing with himself, trying to justify his actions as he descends into his own chaos.

I added more dialogue because in my mind Birdie is so lost in pleasure during the last chapter that she isn’t even narrating everything to herself/us.

And I just wanted a dirty talking Joel ;) You know me.

Someone referred to ‘carnal!joel’ and my heart grew 10 times bigger. I love it.

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[abiteofhoney]

The Vampire and The Devilspawn

this is really just a filler chapter, feeding the author's love of fangs and biting, with a little bit of characterization sprinkled in to make it mean something. enjoy :)

3039 words | Chapter Navigation

Chapter 7

Magdalena cracks open the door, being as silent as she can. There isn’t a single light in the room, but that doesn’t hinder her vampiric sight, and immediately, her gaze goes to the bed, Anzurin lying atop it. He stays asleep as she steps into the room, eyes closed, lips parted, deep breaths in and out. On his stomach, he’s kicked the sheets off of himself entirely, revealing a nearly bare body, only a pair of tight black briefs to cover him, his long tail snaking across the bed, with his arms tucked under his pillow. 

She’s been with him for the entirety of the short time she’s been in his coven, but now, standing in the doorway to his bedroom, she takes a moment to really look at him. He doesn’t stoke her anger as viciously as other devilspawn seem to, but he is a devilspawn. He has the same sharp horns, the vibrant red skin, the long powerful tail. He also has the black eyes that she hates so much, but with the flame red iris to give them life, his eyes don’t anger her like the others do. 

But worst of all, he went into her head. Like the devilspawn that supposedly wiped her memories, he thought it his right to enter her mind. To read her thoughts and look at her memories.

But he did back off when she snapped at him. He apologized, and as far as she’s aware, he didn’t try it again for the rest of the day. He’s the only devilspawn that has shown her any kindness so far, the only one not frightened of him, though it does seem that she makes him nervous or uneasy at times, but he’s never fearful like Brem or the others. He hasn’t hit her or kicked her, but he has yanked her hair and grabbed her more times than she’d like. 

Then again, he hasn’t yanked her hair since she bit him for that, either. 

Velur and his horrid devilspawn wouldn’t stop no matter how many times she snapped at them. They only spit threats and insults at her, but Anzurin speaks to her like … Well, like she’s normal. 

But she’s not. Magdalena is far from normal. She learned that earlier, when Anzurin was giving her a brief tour of the entire coven; Coven Zoarinth as he told her it was called. She saw the other fledglings, sitting in classes, interacting with each other without any flesh tearing. None of them were crazed with hunger or stifling an urge to rip and tear like she is. 

She just can’t imagine being able to do that. Anzurin had to feed her multiple times throughout the day, and for a few of those times, she wasn’t even hungry; she just felt the need to bite something. Anzurin assured her that her hunger would eventually fade to a more manageable level, but that just seems impossible to her. 

Even when she’s not hungry, it’s still there, a lingering dull ache in the pit of her stomach that just makes her feel like she’s missing something. Missing more than her memories. A want that can’t be filled. 

As she stares at Anzurin now, sleeping so peacefully, that want yawns awake. Not so much of a hunger, but the want to dig her teeth into his flesh. But he had gotten angry when she bit him as he slept before, so instead, Magdalena tiptoes over to a velvet cushioned chair in the corner of his room and perches herself in it to wait for him to wake up. 

She watches him quietly dream, tossing and turning and mumbling incoherently. She has only had one dream, in which she saw the red skinned, black eyed devilspawn that taunted her. 

But as she recalls the spawn she saw in her dream, a realization hits her. The one in her dream didn’t have horns, but every devilspawn she’s seen so far has had them. Maybe devilspawn without horns are rare, and maybe Anzurin will know who they are. She’ll tell him after he wakes up. 

Which happens two hours later, a slow awakening as he turns onto his back, taking up nearly the entirety of the large bed as he stretches from head to toe with a yawn that turns into a groan. He sits up and Magdalena admires his figure in the dark. Despite her dislike for devilspawn, she can’t help but admire his strong silhouette, the hell-crafted beauty of him. Every sharp angle and every soft curve. 

Anzurin climbs off of his bed and meanders towards the door, letting out another yawn as he runs his hand through his short, raven black hair. He flips a switch that turns on the chandelier overhead, then turns back. 

“Shit!” he shouts upon seeing Magdalena, jumping back a good distance. A burst of his cold fear smacks into her, but it quickly dissipates. He breathes a heavy sigh and rubs his face with both hands. “Maggie, you scared the hell out of me. How long have you been there?” 

She stretches out her own legs but doesn’t get up. “Two hours.” 

Anzurin laughs breathlessly. “This is the second time you’ve snuck in while I was sleeping. Not many people can sneak up on me. I’m going to put a bell on you.” He shuffles over to his large wardrobe, pulling on a black and gold tunic and a pair of plain black trousers - with an extra fastener in the back to accommodate his tail - before sitting back on the edge of his bed, facing her. “Need to feed? I told you that you can wake me up when you need to.” 

Maggie shakes her head. “Just awake.” Part of her is disappointed to see his body covered. It was so nice to look at. 

“But are you hungry? Now?” 

Not really, but she nods, a grin curling her lips. His voice is deeper after waking up and she likes the sound of it. 

Anzurin motions for her to come to him, which she quickly obeys, hurrying to stand just in front of him. Standing while he sits, she is just barely taller than him, having to look down, but not much. “Come on,” he urges, patting the spot next to him. “Come sit, I’ll feed you.” He holds out his wrist, but she has something else in mind. 

Magdalena takes a small step forward and bumps into his knees, reaching out to brush her fingertips along the base of his throat. “I’m careful. Can I?” she asks, not above begging if she has to. She wants to feed from his neck, to bite him there, perhaps more than anything. 

“Maggie,” he murmurs, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. How about we just stick with the wrist for now?” 

“I’m careful,” she repeats. “Please? I - I’ll be so good.” She takes another step forward when the space between his knees widens enough to fit her. 

“Fine,” Anzurin says, but holds up a hand when Maggie excitedly wriggles closer. “But I’m warning you, Magdalena, go too far, and I'll stop you, and it’ll be the last time I ever allow this.” 

She nods, well aware that she has to be gentle or she’ll ruin this before it can even begin, but she wants to drink from his neck so badly. The veins under his garnet skin are so prominent and she wants to feel them pulse under her tongue. The wrist is so boring. 

Once more he warns her, “I’m not giving you any leniency here. Do not tear at me, or this is over, and I will not be gentle in stopping you if you are not gentle with your bite. Now, come on. We have things to do today.” He scoots to the very edge of the bed, fitting her between his thighs as he lifts and tilts his chin slightly, and she watches his skin stretch. She glances at his eyes to find his bright red irises watching her just as intently as she eyes his neck. 

With a small nod from him, Maggie leans in slowly, wanting to savor the moment. The last time she bit his neck, it was out of anger and fear and she couldn’t even enjoy it. But now, she can. Now, she will. 

Anzurin draws in a deep breath when her touch finds his neck. She brushes her fingers lightly down the side of it, thumb drawing an invisible line under his chin. Her fangs ache in her gums, wanting nothing more than to sink into his skin. Her tongue caresses the points of them, and she presses her fingers into the spot she plans to bite.

Finally, she closes the distance between her mouth and his neck, and a sigh heaves out of her as she grazes her teeth along his skin. All of her teeth, not just her fangs, but she doesn’t bite. Not hard enough to puncture him, at least. 

He says her name in warning but doesn’t pull away, nor does he make her stop. In fact, his large hand cups one side of her ribs, drawing her closer. 

Readying herself to bite, Maggie draws in a deep breath, filling her lungs with the fiery sweet scent of him, and that’s enough to make her tired of savoring the moment. She wants to taste the blood running through the veins under her tongue. 

Anzurin tenses marginally as her fangs finally pierce him, his hand tightening on her ribs but not enough to hurt her, only bracing himself, ready to push her away if he has to, but Magdalena feels in control of herself. She’s not going to give him any reason to make a move against her. 

She’s so careful as she sinks her fangs into his skin, nicking a vein just enough to give her a steady stream to drink from, and though she knows she’s supposed to, she doesn’t take her fangs out once the blood flow starts. Having her teeth in his skin just feels so right, like this is exactly what she’s supposed to do every day, every minute. Bite and bite and bite. But she doesn’t bite down any harder, despite the aching want in her jaw, the need to clamp down and rip and tear. 

She can’t. 

She’ll never get to drink from him again if she does that, so she doesn’t go any further, but she doesn’t take her fangs out of his neck, either. It restricts the flow of blood to come out of his puncture wounds, but Maggie doesn’t care too much. For her, in this moment, it’s more about the biting than it is about feeding her hunger. 

Wanting more but unable to bite like she wants to, Magdalena fists his shirt in one hand, gripping the hair at the back of his head with the other as she presses closer. His heart thumps with steady excitement, growing faster with every second until it’s a light and quick thrumming under her touch. 

“Magdalena, are you going to feed?” 

It’s his whispered question that makes her realize that she’s just letting his blood fill her mouth. “Mmh,” she hums against his neck and swallows, fangs still in him. She’d stay like this all day if she could. She’ll stay here as long as he allows it. 

He leans back slightly as she pushes into him and she follows, pushing up on her toes to put a knee on the small patch of mattress between his legs. With her hand in his hair, she tilts his head to a better angle, and then finally, she takes her fangs out of his neck. A sigh leaves him when she does and the hand on her ribs slips around to her lower back. 

She drinks from him greedily, then, the flow unobstructed by her teeth, and lost in the taste of him without her teeth in his skin to focus on. Now, she hones in fully on the taste, the ashy bite of fire, the sweet sugary notes. The pulse of it through his veins, the warmth of his skin on her tongue, the warmth of his blood settling in her stomach. Where her hand is fisted into his shirt, pressed against his heart, she can feel it thrumming wildly, but not with fear. Never with fear. 

Magdalena presses even closer, straddling one of his thighs as she kneels on the bed, almost lying on his chest as he leans back a bit further. His hand trails up her spine, between her shoulder blades, cupping the back of her neck briefly before slipping into her hair. 

She tenses, ready to bite him hard if he tries to rip her hair, but with a sharp exhale, Anzurin breathes, “I’m not, I won’t. It’s okay.” Rather than gripping her hair, he scratches the back of her head lightly and urges her to keep drinking. 

So she does. Trusting him not to yank her hair, she relaxes back into the taste of him. And he allows her to cling to him, to drink uninterrupted. Even when she reaches a moment where she’s sure he should have already stopped her, he doesn’t, so she stops herself finally. 

Magdalena reluctantly pulls her mouth off of him, full enough and not wanting to take too much from him, but leaves her face in his neck as she attempts to catch her breath. A long moment stretches between them, his chest heaving just as hers does, fingers gently dragging through her knotted hair. Every other second, she licks up what continues to run out of his neck until a thought hits her. 

How is he going to heal it? He can’t lick his own neck. 

Maggie pulls back to look at him, gaze going to his mouth with an idea. “Open,” she commands, tapping her finger against his lips. Perhaps just surprised by the command, he obeys, and Maggie slips her thumb past his lips and drags it across his tongue where it splits, and then she presses her spit-covered thumb to the two holes in his neck, which close back over in a blink, leaving behind not a mark. 

Anzurin exhales what sounds like every bit of air in his lungs and then grabs Maggie’s hips to move her off to the bed next to him. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he mumbles and heads straight for the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

Magdalena sits there alone, sticking her thumb into her mouth to taste his blood and saliva mixture. It tingles on her tongue and she hums at the taste of it, closing her eyes to enjoy it fully. Then she sits there, waiting for Anzurin to return. 

It’s only a few minutes that he stays in the bathroom, but it feels like longer as she waits, using the time to lap up every tiny bit of his blood that clings to her teeth, her tongue, her cheeks, savoring the taste of him. She wants more. Always wanting more. 

Quietly, she tiptoes towards the door, wondering what’s taking him so long on the other side of it, coming up to the door just in time to hear a muttered curse from the other side of it. A few seconds later comes the sound of running water, which lasts for a minute or so before it shuts off and then Anzurin is yanking the door open once more. 

He jumps to see Magdalena standing directly in front of him. “Fuck,” he curses again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “A bell. You need a fucking bell.” 

“Okay,” she agrees, not opposed to the idea much at all. She doesn’t mean to sneak up on him, though the quick flash of fear when she does is fun. It’s the only time she knows that she’s ever scared him. Even the first day, when he yanked her hair so she pinned him down and bit him, he wasn’t scared of her then. Even as she tore at him. 

But these little bursts of it when she surprises him leave a delicious taste on the back of her tongue. Maggie clasps her hands behind her back and rocks forward onto her bare toes. “What are we doing today?” 

“You’re going to go get ready for the day and get dressed,” he says, stepping past her and gently pushing her towards the bathroom door. “I need a moment to change, and then we need to figure out a plan for you.”

Maggie’s stomach drops to her feet as she watches him walk away from her. “Plan? What are you going to do to me?” 

Anzurin looks over his shoulder at her, a frown lengthening his face. “An educational plan,” he amends, turning back towards his wardrobe. “Since you’re already a few months into being a fledgling but haven’t had any of the proper training or education, I want to find an effective way to quickly help you catch up to where you should be. Go get dressed.” 

She does as told, stopping first in the bathroom to brush her teeth and hair and wash her face, and then she picks out a nice, baby blue dress from her newly stocked wardrobe, one that falls to mid thigh and fits her perfectly. Preferring to forego shoes, Magdalena patters back into Anzurin’s room once she’s dressed to find him sitting on the edge of the bed once more, the same gold trimmed shirt on but a different pair of trousers, his head in his hands. 

Maggie purposefully quiets her steps as she slips back into his room, wanting that small bite of fear again. She gets close to him, standing just off to the side of the bed and slightly behind him, a grin stretching her face as she chirps, “Ready!” 

He jolts again, heart skipping a beat, but he doesn’t lift his head out of his hands. “You’re doing this on purpose now, aren’t you?” 

She shrugs even though he can’t see her and sings, “Mayyy-be.” 

With a breathy laugh, he shakes his head and stands up. “You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you? Come on. Let’s go make a plan.” 

~~~

Maggie showing a bit of a playful side, how fun !! i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and i'll see you next monday!

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[write-here-n-now]

What to do when you've crossed a line?

C.(S). Jeonghan x Reader | WC. 1218 | G. Angst| Pt. 3/? | *Jeonghan's POV* |

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

When someone you care for deeply, tell all your secrets to and want to spend all your time with blurts out a love confession to you in the middle of the night, what possible responses could you come up with? 

You could tell them thank you. You could maybe get by with an awkward “oh”. If you weren’t completely caught off guard you could maybe start questioning them. When? Where? How long? Why? And with just their luck you could respond with “finally” but none of those responses came out of Jeonghan when Y/N confessed to him.

Why? Well because…

Why? Why? Why? Because, because, because had been swimming around in his head for days. He didn’t dare to stop you from walking away or chase after you and he stood there, frozen and shocked, watching you walk away from him. 

You needed space, he reasoned with himself, so he walked away, towards his apartment, repeating your words over and over in his head 

“I’m in love with you” “You don’t even care”

He always had an answer for everything. His tongue short, witty, ready for any comment, but never had he felt like he had escaped the ability to think of words much less get them out of his mouth, only yours stayed, knocking around in his head. 

He was a coward, that much evident that he couldn’t even pick up the phone to press your contact. Fear and worry were holding him back but at the same time limiting him. How long can you avoid speaking to your best friend? His friends tried to pry why he suddenly became AWOL for the last three days; he couldn’t even give them an answer.

*Ping* “Where have you been the past few days?” - Mingyu *Ping* “There is a new restaurant near campus, I’ll pay” - Jun *Ping* “How long are you gonna be cooped up at home?” - Seungkwan *Ping* “Are you good?” - Hyungwon *Ping* “You haven’t been to class for a while…everything ok?” - Joshua *Ping* “It’s literally midterm season, are you studying or avoiding exams?” - Woozi

Not a single notification interested him, he knew none of them were yours. How had he taken your presence for granted and now all he wished were for you to message him, even if it was to curse at him, call him names; anything at all would have worked.

Jeonghan hadn’t been hurt in love. He’d fallen in love and fallen out. He’d had his fair of crushes and partners, but you can never prepare for falling in love with your best friend. Losing your most cherished friend comes with a feeling of hollowness, one that leaves you feeling restless and alone. He couldn’t lose you, not like this anyway. He hadn’t eaten, sleep wouldn’t come easy no matter how much he wished it to. He checked his phone despite knowing full well you would never in a million years reach out after the situation he had created for you two. 

Four days was how long it took for Seungcheol to bust down his door and drag him out of the house. 

“You can’t be inside for this long. You need to get out of the house…maybe even clean it up”

Walking up to his bed, Seungcheol pulls off the covers and grabs a hold of Jeonghan’s arms, pulling the man towards him haphazardly trying to get him to a standing position.

Seungcheol’s strength was unmatched, and the most Jeonghan could do was continue being deadweight and cause him enough resistance until Seungcheol let him be, but his friend was nothing if not fucking persistent. Any other time, Jeonghan would appreciate it but he couldn’t find it within himself to face the world, what if everyone laughed at him?

Letting him go, Jeonghan falls back into the lying position Seungcheol had found him in, attempting to sleep without avail.

“She’s on campus today,” Seungcheol mentioned in a tone so nonchalant, hands on hips as if Jeonghan wasn’t mentally beating himself up all week trying to figure out how he could see your face. “Don’t lie to me” “Why would I need to lie to you? I know you probably haven’t seen her in the last four days like a coward,” he replies as he walks towards Jeonghan’s closet. “I saw her as at the campus café after my morning lecture.”

Despite never properly admitting how enamoured he was by you, Jeonghan had spilled everything from the day of the party over the phone to Seungcheol two nights ago. From the dejection in his voice, yet the coolness of his words gave away the façade he was still trying to put up; he was only hurt that his best friend confessed and stopped speaking to him, which was also his fault for enacting by not even a weak effort to leave a voicemail.

The wheels were turning in his head, maybe if Seungcheol could get them to see each other there could still be some salvage to their friendship and perhaps a potential beginning to a future being something more.

Wide-eyed and frozen, Jeonghan’s face is met with a thump of the hoodie and jeans.

“Here, put this on and get down to the car in the next 15 minutes,” Seungcheol yells out walking out of the room.

Never in his life had he rushed to dress faster. He had to see you today and clear up everything, if he didn’t, he could kiss you and your friendship goodbye. 

Seungcheol had said 15 minutes as a courtesy, he hadn’t expected Jeonghan to surge into his car, 7 minutes later, hair a mess, shoes untied (were they on the wrong foot?), phone in hand, yet not even a pencil on him—if he hadn’t picked out the hoodie himself he would have thought a random stranger burst into his car. 

“Let's go,” Jeonghan breathes out, clearly spent from sprinting out of his apartment. “Whoa, hold on, are you going to go to campus like this?” “Nobody is going to care, just drive” “...ok…don’t say I didn’t give a chance to change,” Seungcheol reprimands as he starts the car and begins to reverse out of the parking lot.

The ride to the campus is silent save for Jeonghan’s fingers drumming against in thigh, then the dashboard, then the edge of the door, then again on his thigh.

“Can you maybe not use my car as a drum set?” “I can’t help it. What if Y/N doesn’t let me explain?” “What exactly do you plan to say?” questions Seungcheol.

He knew Jeonghan could likely talk himself out of a literal court case but if he hadn’t been able to face his feelings for you before…His hopes were low.

Pin drop silence. He had been planning all the possible scenarios and speeches he could utter the minute he found the presence of your face in his vicinity, promising himself to not let you walk away again.

“..i..”

The ever-infamous smooth talker Yoon Jeonghan was once again brought into debilitating silence, as if speech was foreign to his lips and thoughts vanished completely.

What was he going to say to you, could he even say anything to you that would make up for how he ghosted you since that night?

Worst of all, would you forgive him?

[thatonefanficwriternooneknows]

Corrie Week Day 7: FOX DAY!

And with this I have completed my first ever FULL fandom week thing! (I always end up forgetting to do day 7 lol) and while none of it is particularly long, I'm still proud of me!

Once again writing this at work because why not get paid to write fanfiction?

Here we go!

--

The thing about Coruscant that the GAR didn't know was that it wasn't worth protecting. That the down on their luck people were stepped on by those with money and power, and that the people with money and power could do whatever they wanted and get away with it.

It wasn't fair but nothing in life was.

So Fox did the only thing he could do.

Shrugged and moved on.

There was better osik for him to worry about than natborns and their arbitrary rules of class and other such rot. Fox had shinies to take care of and troopers to train, he didn't have any time or energy to spare in wondering about the strange things natborns do.

Didn't stop the Corries from collecting gossip like a trash chute collected waste.

"Senator Drahish definitely has a few side arms, none of the beings that came over to xir rooms last night were xir spouse and they all stayed until relief at 0600!"

"I'm positive Senator Binks only exists to make us question Nabooian citizen's sanity."

"Last week Senator Ishtasi met up with a Jetii and they totally kriffed in the alley. Smelled awful but whatever rattles your shell, am I right?"

"General Kenobi is clearly in love with his Commander, and the Commander is blind as haran and doesn't notice because we all know Commander Fox got all of the brain cells out of that batch."

"At least it's better than Commander Fox knowing Vos is bucket over boots for him and using his privileges to get whatever the Commander needs or wants."

Fox glared at the two discussing that last bit of gossip, but the idiots just smiled cheekily back at him. Unfortunately, his Corries were well aware of his fondness for all of them. Even if none of them necessarily knew that Fox wasn't manipulating Vos so much as he's letting his partner do nice things for him.

He'd never live that down.

So he let the two off with just a wave of his hand and leaned back in his ever so comfy desk chair said Jedi acquired for him. No he will NOT be asking where it came from.

For once he was doing as Hex ordered, and taking a much needed break from the never ending stream of datawork.

(Mostly because Hex had Codex install cams in Fox's office that live streamed to the medbay. His CMO would absolutely notice if he wasn't taking the mandatory breaks and resting his eyes and hands for some kriffing reason.

It was also the unfortunate reason Fox had had to cancel his much desired visit from Quinlan because there was no way in haran Fox was going to let Hex see him and his Jedi kriffing.

That was too much power for one vod to hold.)

His peace last a whole five minutes (a record) when there was a commotion in the hallway right outside his door.

Fox sighed.

Hopefully it would be something important enough that Hex wouldn't get on his shebs about ending his break early.

There was barely enough time for Fox to put his feet down on the floor before the door to his office was slamming open (how in the Force? They were SLIDING doors?!).

It was a GAR trooper in royal blue.

What the heck was one of Rex's idiots doing in Corrie Command?

Thire, Stone, and Thorn all clamored in right after the frontie, a few other guards crowding around in the doorway.

"I told you earlier, frontie, whatever you need to tell us can go through ME first!" Thorn huffed and tried to push his way between the GAR trooper and Fox with a puffed up chest.

The trooper just pushed Thorn aside, which cause his fellow Corrie to let out a hilarious squawking sound as he was knocked to the floor. (Thorn carried around a massive fire arm for fun, the Force was up with this trooper that they could just knock him aside??)

"Commander Fox?" The frontie slurred slightly, swaying a bit where he stood, so Fox decided to put him out of his misery.

"What can I do for you, trooper?"

"Are you actually Commander Fox? Because all of these Corries said that THEY were Commander Fox." The vod took off their bucket and glared. They did not look healthy.

The Aurebesh five on their temple the only thing not coated in sweat and other debris.

Interesting.

Fox settled back in his chair.

"Pretty sure that os'ika, Rex, told you exactly what my paint looked like, Fives. Now what do you want?"

It was a credit to Fives that he didn't startle at Fox knowing who the Force he was, but Fox was still withholding judgement considering the vod looked like he was on a bad spice trip.

Fives squinted at him then nodded quickly.

"Yeah, the Captain said you were, like, a super asshole."

Fox smirked. He did, in fact, have more asshole than most of his batch (barring Cody and Wolffe, who were definitely more asshole than he was).

"Anyway, the Chancellor is a Sith Lord and there are little microscopic chips inside of every vod with override codes that can make us do anything he wants us to, including murdering the Jedi including their tubies and cadets." Fives swayed where he stood, and Stone came up to steady him.

Fox hummed.

"Well?" Fives looked a little angry, but it was to be expected considering he was a frontie.

"Thorn."

"Sir." Thorn snapped to attention and saluted, recognizing Fox's voice for the Professional Shenanigans are Afoot tone that it was.

"You still have that slugthrower I'm not supposed to know about?"

"Yessir."

"Please go get it, I'm going to shoot the Chancellor."

"Yessir!"

The Corries departed with shouts of glee and a few exclamations of "finally!" following them.

Poor Fives just looked confused.

"That's it? I thought I'd have to be more persuasive than that..."

Fox shrugged.

"I've been looking for a way to murder that old man since I got on this skughole of a planet. This is better than the excuses we've been brainstorming."

"And if I'm wrong??" Fives furrowed his brows and looked to Stone like he was going to be of any help.

"Are you?"

"NO!"

"Then it's time to commit a murder. Let's go."

[lacontroller1991]

Baths and Tea (Jonathan Crane x GN!Reader)

Main Master List || MISC Master List

Requested by anon: I wish you would write a fic where Crane takes care of reader when they have a stressful day and he sees they are a bit on edge, I need comfort sorry u.u....

-- Anya 🍓

Author's Note: SO THIS IS MY FIRST CRANE FIC I HOPE I DO HIM JUSTICE

Warnings: just a really really shitty day, mentions of nudity/undressing, language

Word Count: 1.1k

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It all started with a cold bed. You woke up at around 7:30, expecting to cuddle into the side of your boyfriend and go back to sleep only to feel no body presence by your side. You initially shrugged it off and still got out of bed to grab coffee. When you got to the coffee pot you thought it would be hot, but when you took a sip, it was cold. 

“You gotta be kidding me.” You had murmured to yourself, eyes rolling at how thoughtful your boyfriend is.

When you managed to get to your class, after missing the bus, you found out that it was canceled and this pissed you off. Normally, professors would send courtesy emails to let students know if the class is canceled but apparently not.

By the time lunch had come around you were already done with the day. To try and lift up your spirits, you decided to go to your favorite lunch spot by campus, hoping that they would have your favorite item on the menu, but just your luck, they didn’t. “This day literally couldn’t get any worse.”

It did. And by the time you got home for the day, you were ready to cry and just bury yourself underneath a pile of blankets. Which is how your boyfriend finds you.

Jonathan typically isn’t the affectionate type. You would even go as far as saying that he doesn’t know what the word affection means. He sometimes wonders why you haven’t left him for someone a little more…warm. Finding you underneath a pile of blankets though? It raises concern in him. 

Moving to your side of the bed, he sits on the edge, trying to find your face under the mound but failing to do so. Instead, he pulls back the covers only to find your eyes puffy and tears running down your face. 

“Dove? What’s wrong?” Despite the words of concern, they sound apathetic, and you instantly notice.

“Why do you even care?” The abrasiveness of your comment causes him to jolt back. He definitely did not expect that from you. He tries to think of what to do. It’s clear that you’ve had a rough day and he wants to make it better. Nodding his head tersely, he leaves your side and goes to the kitchen. 

Not even 5 minutes later he's walking back into the room, a cup of hot tea in his hands. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed again, he lightly nudges you causing you to push the blankets away and look up at him through tear soaked lashes. 

“I made you your favorite tea.” He offers the tea to you and you take it from him, savoring the warmth that the cup provides, eyeing him suspiciously.

“What did you put in it?” 

“Nothing that I wanted to,” he tries to make a joke about his work, but he gathers it’s not the right crowd right now. “Do you want to talk about your day?”

You take a sip of the tea, letting the warm drink soothe your throat and warm your body. You can’t deny that him making you tea did boost your mood slightly. People often ask you why you’re with Jonathan Crane of all people. He’s cold. Calculative. Creepy. Apathetic. But none of those things really bother you. You try to focus on the good in him, and it’s moments like this that make you glad that you’ve stayed with him, even if he is a challenge.

“It’s just you weren’t here this morning and didn’t bother heating up some coffee. Then I was late to class because the bus system fucking sucks and it was all a mute point because class was cancelled anyways. I tried getting my favorite lunch but they were out of it, and when I chose another option, my card declined. Then when I went to my other class we got our exams back and I didn’t do as well as I wanted to. When I got home I got an email saying that the job I had applied for was now occupied and they don’t need me. To make matters worse, the same asshole professor that randomly canceled class just posted a new assignment that’s due tomorrow and it’s supposed to be 8 pages long. A research paper. Due tomorrow.” You start to cry again and Jonathan takes the drink out of your hands, setting it to the side before pulling you into his arms as best as he can. Even though he is a trained psychologist and an active psychiatrist, he doesn’t know what to do. 

“That sounds horrible. I’m sorry.” He comments nonchalantly while stroking your hair softly, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as you begin to calm down, nuzzling into him lightly.

“It is horrible. I just want today to be over.” Jonathan pulls away and hands you back your drink before standing to his full height and disappearing into the bathroom. You try to move your head and see what he’s doing, but it becomes obvious when you hear the bathtub faucet running. Jonathan appears a second later and offers you a hand. Taking his hand, he pulls you out of bed and towards the bathroom where you see the tub being filled with water and bubbles? “Jonathan?”

“Why don’t you get in the bath and I’ll run down to that Chinese place you like to grab some dinner. Does that work?” He stands slightly awkwardly as a smile creeps its way onto your face. Again, it’s moments like these where you really love him. 

“Can you stay with me? I really want some physical affection.” He nods his head and begins to strip while you watch with a smirk on your face. Upon realizing that you’re staring at him, he looks at you through his glasses. 

“Aren’t you going to get undressed?”

“Mmhmm I’m just enjoying the view.” He doesn’t make a comment as he watches you undress and slip into the tub before joining you, awkwardly positioning himself behind you as you lean back into him. “This is really nice.”

“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” he comments more sincerely this time, pushing your hair aside and pressing a soft kiss against your shoulder, causing you to shiver. 

“You’re making it better.” He smiles against your skin as his arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against him. 

“I’m glad to hear that. Do you want me to kill the professor?” He’s 98% serious and you know it.

“Jonathan,” you warn as he lets out a chortle.

“What? I was only kidding.” A moment of silence. “Partially.”

[mysticficti0n]

hi bb, could you do a sad/fluff between 2023tom and his old school crush please but make it happy at the end? (but he's not with Heidi, just him and Bill are doing something like met gala or red carpet)

I know I haven't really given a great explication but you can write fucking amazingly so I don't think you'll struggle

love ya

okay this is such a cute idea! literally in love so ofc I'll do it!

(all my attention will be back soon but I'm taking time to do some request as I have so many and all you guys have such good ideas!)

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

Meant to meet again...

warnings- none

words- 1.2k

(also I am so so so so sorry Gustav and Georg aren't in this I couldn't think how to incorporate them but they're mentioned!)

Y/n stood on the carpet watching actors, actresses, models, musicians be snapped thousands of times, she'd interviewed over 20 people by this point but just kept getting the same old boring replies "oh were so lucky to be here" and the fake laughs, it's what you get being a interviewer- fakes

the sea of photographers seemed to switch direction, facing down to the entrance, Y/n walked forward from her place peering down the carpet and two tall, shaggy haired men stood there but she couldn't figure out who it was "BILL BILL! THIS WAY- TOM TURN THIS WAY TOM" it clicked- Bill and Tom Kaulitz. she'd forgotten about the twins from when they left school, she knew the twins so well back then, best friends really, sharing lessons together and always laughing and skipping lessons they didn't like, hiding in cupboards when teachers called their names down the halls

Y/n straightened her dress while seeing the twins climb the stairs and she couldn't help but get a giddy feeling as they walked towards her, they both looked so different to how she remembered- Bill had black spiky hair and Tom had dreads that he'd constantly mess with when he was bored in class "Hi!" Bill started coming into shot of the camera so that her team could start filming

"hey! How are you two?" she asked grabbing the pair microphones

"good good, you?" Tom had a look across his face the girl couldn't really understand but she smiled to him none the less

"very well- enjoying the night and speaking to everyone! so if you wouldn't mind I'll introduce you and ask only a few questions then let you go because I don't doubt theirs about 100 more people who'll want you after me!" she laughed to the two now men, not boys she used to know

"I've herd that a few times" Tom joked getting a shove from his brother "what! it was funny"

"okay ready to start?" she asked turning back to the two who nodded "okay- roll... Good evening everyone, I'm Y/n Y/l/n from CBQ News and tonight I'm here with Bill and Tom Kaulitz, how are you-"

"Oh my god! I knew it was you!" Tom had wide eyes and mouth agape looking to the girl, he knew he recognised her, her eyes, her nose, her smile, her everything he knew he knew it from somewhere

"holy sh- Y/n!" Bill covered his mouth as the girl laughed nodding "you look beautiful oh- I'm sorry were ruining the interview but we haven't seen you in like nearly 20 years!" he spoke to the camera then looking back to the girl

"I know you left school when I think- yeah I was 15 and you two had just turned 16" they nodded still staring at her, Tom couldn't help but remember what he thought of her all those years ago- Y/n was his school crush from when they were 7 to 17 years old, yes 17- though he never saw her when they left he still thought about her all the time and looked back on the picture the two took the day they we're leaving, she was smiling with her arms around his neck, hugging him. Sometimes he missed school- not the bullying or the stares but the times in class were they'd just burst out laughing until they felt sick "so- back onto the interview" she laughed "who're you two wearing tonight?"

the boys gave their answers, making remarks and laughing as they all watched someone fall up the stairs but Tom still couldn't get over Y/n, she looked even more gorgeous, her hair perfectly fitted to her face, her dress looked so good on her though it had been so long- his feeling were trickling back in "can I say, you look great Y/n- not even great, amazing tonight" a blush painted her face and Bill looked toward his brother, the memories came back of the nights him and Tom would be sat talking about if he was going to finally ask out Y/n but every year he made an excuse, he was planning on asking her to prom but they left before it happened and she ended up going alone, thats what Tom's friends said anways-but god does he wish he just took the plunge

"aw thank you! you two the first to actually say something about me tonight" a smile came across her face

"we'll they're arseholes, you're one of the best dressed here!" Bill laughed

"god you two stop its giving me an ego!, anyways thank you so much for this- its great seeing you again after so long" she and Bill met in a hug, he'd missed these, giving her a kiss on her cheek before Tom pulled her away into his arms, her hands went around his neck, his head resting on her shoulder and hers lay in his chest- just like the photo "thank you- its been amazing seeing you" she spoke to Tom quiet enough for the mic's not to pick it up, pulling away from the hug they still kept their arms on each other. Bill knew that Tom was probably going to be talking about this hug for the next week but he didn't mind- he knew what It meant to him

"I've missed you Y/n..." she nodded trying to hold the tears back, she didn't realise how nice it felt to be with them again and just being in their arms- especially Toms- would make her so emotional

"me too..." she breathed

"god you're going to make me cry- stop Y/n" Bill chuckled blinking up trying to discard the tears, Tom still stood with the girl unable to pull from her

"okay- hm, well you two- I hope you have an amazing night and maybe I'll see you in another 20 years?" the three laughed, but Tom wasn't about to wait another 20 years to see her again, he couldn't

"hope so!"

"aaannnd cut-" the camera man called and the three breathed, she took the mics back and thanked the pair again, when other interviewers realised that they'd finished Bill and Tom's name bounced around again

"have a good night guys, I wont hold you up anymore" she sadly grinned rubbing Bills shoulder feeling a weird pain in her chest- like she was saying good bye again

"ugh I'd much rather stay with you but, we both know what these things are like" Bill gave her one last hug, squeezing her tightly and saying thanks once more before he was dragged by someone she didn't even see but he was gone and only her and Tom stood there

"guess I need to say bye to you too hm?" the two shared a laugh

"yeah.. yeah" Tom couldn't let his nervousness get the best of him this time, he knew if he didn't say anything he'd regret if for how many more years went by before he saw her again "I- I was wondering if maybe you'd wanna grab drinks one of the nights? or even tonight if you can do you want to sit with us- Gustav and Georg will be at the after party thing- it's fine if not of course I'm guessing you've already got a table with some people and-" the guitarist rambled on making the girl infront of him giggle

"I'd love to go get drinks with you Tom- and also sit with you all tonight" he felt like he had gone back to being 16 for a second as the words left her mouth "so I'll meet you by the doors at say, 9?"

"Yeah 9 works, okay!- I better go so" he hugged her again pressing a kiss to the top of her head "bye!" she waved to the man who was smiling so widely it hurt