#and had no idea what to say and needless to say i've been thinking about it nonstop

[the-travelling-witch]

no clue if i'm doing the valentine's ask game right at all BUT-!!

i'm curious how cass & leona / selene & angelica / carmilla & jade would spend valentine's day 👀 (you can pick which ones to yap about i know it's a lot ghdlkjs)

omg ian, hiiiii!! first of all happy valentine's day, i hope you're having a great day <3 also i think it's less of an ask game and more of a "i'm okay receiving valentine's day asks" kind of thing, but !! ofc i'm more than happy to yap about my ocs (when am i not, is the real question)

i originally wanted to write sth for all of them but i have such a headache (+ i'm still struggling with wrist pain bc i just can't give them a break), so i decided to write a drabble for carmilla and jade bc it came easiest to me and then give my brief thoughts on the other pairings instead

Carmilla & Jade [Surf and Turf]

“I admit I’m not closely accustomed with land dwellers’ Valentine’s Day traditions, but to think that it would encompass kidnapping your beloved into the woods… How very intriguing indeed.”

“Oh shush, you. It’s not much further now,” Carmilla giggled, continuing to lead the way into the woods just shy of NRC’s campus. The sun had already begun to settle in for the night, cosying into her bed behind the horizon and illuminating the students’ trail with the last golden rays. It wouldn’t be much longer, however, until their path would be lighted by the flickering blue flames at Carmilla’s command. “So Valentine’s day isn’t a thing under the sea?”

“Hm, as many of humankind’s customs do, it has started catching on with merfolk. Though mainly with those living closer to the surface,” Jade answered easily, still placidly letting himself be led up one of his favourite hiking trails by their intertwined hands. His mood had been rather cheerful ever since the fox had appeared in his dorm with an enigmatic grin and the promise of a surprise. “It has yet to sink into the waters of the deep sea, if you will. And I reckon our Valentine’s gifts would be rather unique, too. Perhaps I could interest you in a seaweed bouquet?”

“If anyone could make that sound appealing, it would be you, I’m afraid,” the fae laughed, equally bright. With all her Valentine’s shoots wrapped up ahead of time, she’d been eager to spend time with her merman. Though confident in what she had prepared for him, there was still an undergoing current of nervousness within her. “Without wanting to spoil anything, I guess you could say my gift isn’t your typical bouquet of roses either.”

Putting his free hand over his chest, Jade gasped in faux surprise. “And here I was thinking you were leading me up the mountains to grant me with an overpriced armful of cut flowers and a heart shaped box of chocolates.”

“I should have known you’d figure it out. Oh dear, you know me too well, it appears,” Carmilla played along with a heart wrenching sigh. Then, she stopped in an inconspicuous part of the trail. “Ooh we’re here already. You trust me, right?”

“I do, of course,” Jade replied, tilting his head to the side, intrigued by the implications of her question. When Carmilla untied a silky ribbon from her outfit, he understood her intentions immediately. A shiver of electricity zapped down his spine in anticipation as he leant forward slightly, so she could tie it gently around his eyes. My, wasn’t she the most darling girl ever, keeping him on his toes and surprising him at every turn?

In the end, the blindfold didn’t stay on for long in this terrain, only serving to ramp up his anticipation even more at the last moment. After a few careful metres over the forest soil -though he noted that someone seemingly removed all tricky obstacles- the ground beneath his shoes became softer with the texture of grass and moss, leading him to believe they’d arrived at a forest clearing of some sort. With his vision blocked, his other senses had sharpened but instead of taking in nature’s sounds, Jade honed in on the company of the person next to him. He didn’t need to see her to be conscious of Carmilla’s presence surrounding him, flickering in and out like one of her fairy lights but never leaving his side.

Then, the knot in the silk scarf came undone, the ribbon fluttering down to rest over his shoulder. Jade blinked a few times, trying to process what it was he was seeing.

“So, what do you think?” Carmilla supplied, slinking next to him and wrapping an arm around his, gently encouraging him to take a closer look.

They were indeed standing in a small glade, one Jade had never noticed despite his frequent hikes around the area. Looking back over his shoulder, he could say with certainty the path the two of them had taken had not been there before. Or had been very well concealed. Small, floating lights illuminated their surroundings, dipping the pine trees and moss in warm light. What caught his attention most of all though was what was growing inside clearing. Mushrooms of varying shapes, sizes and colours -some even glowing with bioluminescence- were sprouting all around them, decorating the area. It was clear they were not native to Sage Island, for he had never seen them before. Also obvious was that someone had taken great care in growing them.

“Do you like your gift?” Prodding the eel a little, Carmilla carefully studied his reaction. Perhaps the silence would have felt intimidating if she couldn’t spot that particular gleam of fascination in his heterochromatic eyes she loved so much. “I remembered how interested you seemed when I told you about the mushrooms I saw back in Briar Valley. So I contacted an old friend who still lives there to see what I could do.”

Strong arms wrapped around her in response, pulling her fully into his space, coaxing a surprised laugh from her. Reciprocating the action, Carmilla leaned fully into him, savouring the closeness and the safety of happily burrowing into his chest. Even as Jade let go, he didn’t allow her to float past his reach. Instead keeping Carmilla anchored to him by cupping her cheeks in his gloved hands.

“My dearest pearl, you didn’t seriously believe I would dislike this surprise of yours, did you? Surely you know me better than that.” He sealed his warm words a telling kiss, one that Carmilla all too happily tip-toed up into. There was rosiness to both of the students’ cheeks as they parted again, their fingers intertwining instead. “In case I must make myself even more clear, I doubt I have ever received a more thoughtful gift. You’ve set a high bar for me to clear when it’s my turn.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to make it too easy for you, right? I’d hate for you to grow bored of it,” Carmilla teased, giving his hand a fond squeeze. There was a mischievous gleam in her eyes as she added, “Perhaps, however, you should check the entire gift before you start scheming with revenge.”

“Oh? What else could you possibly have prepared? You really do love going all out, don’t you?” Shaking his head affectionately, dual-coloured eyes tracked the movement of her arm as she reached behind her and pulled a book out of thin air. Handing it to him, Jade recognised the handwriting on the cover as hers immediately. “Is this-“

“A compendium of sorts, written by yours truly,” Carmilla offered, winking at him. “Someone once imparted on me the importance of taking notes when it comes to horticulture.”

“How is it that you make me fall in love with you even more than I already have?” Carefully flipping through the pages, ghosting his fingers over delicate writing and detailed illustrations, it really started to sink in how much planning had gone into this surprise. It spurred his motivation to plan what he would give her in return. Oh, he couldn’t wait to return to his room and get creative.

For now, however, he was content to stay in this small sanctuary a little longer. A blanket was spread over the grass for the two to settle down on, Carmilla happily leaning her head against Jade’s shoulder as he poured over the book and compared it with the mushrooms in front of them. Every now and then, she would point out certain things to him, adding bits and pieces to his fascinated rambling. Mostly though, she was just happy to listen to his voice, basking in the tranquility and peace of his presence and letting his excitement infect her, too.

Even without using her unique magic, Carmilla could feel the love between the two of them, spreading a warmth throughout her like no other. A few years ago, the fae couldn’t have phathomed going out of her way for somebody else like this, let alone spending days and weeks on a mere present. Now she was glad she did.

Cass & Leona [Golden Hour]

“Oi herbivore, do you know what day is today?” 

“Friday.” 

“…It’s Valentine’s Day.” 

“So you guys have commercial holidays too huh?”

In a total reversal of expectations, Leona is probably the one who brings up Valentine’s Day as a topic during lunch break in the botanical gardens. While Cass is also aware of the traditions, it’s not something she particularly cares about and she didn’t think Leona was the type to either. Which she is kinda right about, to be honest.

The only reason Leona entertains the custom in the first place is because, despite himself, he really didn’t want to disappoint any expectations he thought Cass might have. And, secondly, he’s not dumb. He knows Cass is well-known and well-liked by quite a few people and he’s normally not all in people’s faces with their relationship. Meaning, he wants to shut down the possibility of anyone getting any funny ideas about confessing to her.

So, he very unceremoniously gives Cass a present in the form of a piece of jewellery. This could either be a beaded or golden bracelet, a necklace or a charm for her camp necklace or a hair accessory he can braid into her locks. As long as it’s unmistakably his and easy for others to identify as such, he’s content. There’s a high chance it’s actually a piece of his jewellery that he already had on hand and decided to give her on a whim. Definitely not because he cares about some herbivore and enjoys the idea of her always carrying around sth that he gave her. Definitely not. (He cares. So much.)

Cass lets him do as he pleases, both because she is actually a little flustered over the fact that he’s very openly staking a claim over her and because she thinks his attitude about it is funny. Sure, he is very nonchalant about it, which probably would’ve soured the day for others, but Cass is all about someone’s actions and the meaning that’s read between the lines. 

Leona’s lucky she knows he cares for her because if she didn’t, he wouldn’t get away with pulling her down for a nap after that circus. As Cass tells him about his day, he’ll hum and absentmindedly run his fingers over the jewellery, half considering if he should get her to also wear his jacket.

(At least other beastmen should get the hint by now not to try anything funny…)

Selene & Angelica [Shipname tba]

Selene and Angelica’s Valentine's Day is a lot more low-key than others might first suspect. Not because they’re not head over heels for each other. No. It’s because for them, every day is Valentine’s Day (more or less). They give each other gifts and affections throughout the year as the mood and inspiration strikes them. So sure, they’ll hang out but it’s business as usual for these two.

[transxfiles]

someone tell theatre majors to stop being such massive flirts, i get feelings too easily

[luvdazqi]

☆ ( hate fucking⠀ ) — 🌸

featuring: rival!chuuya x pm executive!reader

warnings: female reader, afab, cervix fucking, cursing, name calling, degrading, edging, creampie, hair pulling, spanking, fingering, rough sex, no protection, mentions of the word 'p' and 'd', kinda filthy(?).

notes: this lowkey took me a few days to write cuz i barely had any ideas.. but i hope you enjoy!

at any chance you'd get, you'll always find a way to make chuuya's day go even worse. despite the two of you both being powerful executives in the port mafia, needless to say that you and chuuya hated each other. you two would always bicker like children and were always at each others throats. but you'd have to admit that seeing chuuya angry over the smallest things was quite amusing for you. you'd always pull small little pranks on him just to annoy the shit out of him, and he'd always know it was your doing, because no one else would have the courage to piss of chuuya after all.

no one else dared to step into you and chuuya's bickering, they'd all sit idly and watch. but beside all that hatred, there was always some type of tension between the both of you, even if one of the two would never admit to it.

"fuckin' hell.." chuuya muttered in irritation, slamming his fist on his desk. his eyes flashed with a hint of anger as he was a victim of your silly pranks yet again. you had been bothering him all day and you decided it would be funny to slip some type of aphrodisiac into his wine, and now his body was feeling all hot and bothered thanks to you. "bring her to my office." chuuya gestured to one of his subordinates to bring you to him, oh he wasn't definitely not gonna let you slide this time like he always did.

once you finally got to his office, leaving the two of you alone in the room, it practically filled with tension, so thick that you could cut through it with a knife. chuuya practically pounced onto you when you arrived, a visible flush on his cheeks and his pants already tight with a visible erection, looks like the aphrodisiac worked after all.

"you think you're so fuckin' funny aren't ya?" chuuya snarled, his gloved hand wrapped around your neck, though not applying pressure. "you've been buggin' me all day, it's like you were begging for my attention." his heated gaze was piercing into you at this point, his breathing becoming ragged. "you wanted my attention right? now you've fuckin' got it."

sitting on his desk, your legs spread apart just enough for chuuya to look down at your wet and puffy cunt. his gloves were discarded, not wanting to ruin his good pair with your wetness. "look at you, all wet and i've barely done anything. you're practically dripping on my fingers, ya fuckin' whore. i knew this is what you wanted all along." chuuya scoffed, curling his digits inside you. he listened to the way you whimpered and shuddered, which only made his lips curl into a cocky smirk.

just as you were about to cum, he pulls his fingers out of your pussy, making you whine. but he didn't care, he licked his fingers clean and scoffed down at your drunk aroused state. "a slut like you doesn't get to cum yet." his voice was almost raspy before reaching to the waistline of his dress pants, unbuttoning and pulling them down alongside with his boxers. his cock was painfully hard from all the aphrodisiac in his wine earlier, the tip already visible with precum.

"maybe if you beg i might just let ya' cum on my cock." he says in a mocking tone before moving you to bending over his desk, his hand landing on the curve of your ass with a loud slap that left a painful red hand print. "you're gonna take every inch of me, got it?" he says, using the angry flushed head of his dick to rub against your entrance, mixing his pre-cum with your wetness before pushing himself inside you. a rumble emanates from his throat as he felt your tightness wrap around him so perfectly, grasping your hips and holding you in place. "holy fuck.. mmff- gonna stretch this pussy of yours real good." he pants, another slap on your flesh as he delves himself deep into you from behind.

the sounds of skin slapping against skin, along with his groans and your moans filled his office. you couldn't even comprehend words as your mind goes blank, your eyes hazy as chuuya keeps pounding his dick into you that hit your cervix over and over again, almost like if he was putting all his hatred for you with every thrust. "fuckin' whore.. ngh-! this is all it took for ya' to keep your fuckin' mouth shut, huh? always- mmhh- making me loose my fuckin' mind.." he moans, a harsh slap on your ass once again, which basically was already red with his hand prints.

he felt your gummy walls clench around him, your vision blurring with pleasure, "fuck- you gonna cum? i don't think so, you don't fuckin' deserve it yet you filthy slut." he chuckles, gripping onto your hips before stopping his thrusts and pulling out just as you were about to cum, making you whine and call him as asshole, but he didn't care. it only fueled him to keep going, watching you intently as a smirk tugging at his lips. waiting for a while, he slams back into you again. your body quivering beneath him, hitting into your cervix once again with each harsh thrust.

he kept his brutal pace until he felt his orgasm approach, with one final wet smack, chuuya groans as his fingers tighten around your hips holding you in place as his cock pulses with each load of cum painting your insides. keeping himself there for a moment, to compose himself before slowly pulling out his cock with a lewd squelch, looking down at your stretched pussy leaking his with cum. "fuck, look at you.. dripping with my cum like the dirty slut you are."

but he barely gave you enough time to register your thoughts before he drives his hips into your sensitive hole all over again, hitting that delicious spot inside you as he made sure all of his cum stays inside you. keeping a fast, deep rhythm inside you "mmhh- you like having my dick inside ya'.. huh? gonna make sure this pussy of yours stays filled with my cum for the rest of the day. ngh- maybe that'll put ya' in your fuckin' place, whore."

taglist: @moomuzan @iwuvnami @ellie-corner14 @nonexistence1199 @lurulu-ru @causenessus @vasarii @broken-spirit101

© luvdazqi on tumblr ; do not copy, plagiarize or translate any of my works.

[sleepy-writes-stuff]

DP X DC PROMPT #27

(Time for something a little more lighthearted/found family. Could probably also make this a crack prompt instead.)

(#) = Notes at the end of post

(*) = Just me building off of other ideas.

✦

Visitation Rights

When Danny went to list Dani/Ellie as his heir after she'd come back from her years of traveling the world, he was quickly informed that he already had one in line for the thrown.

"What? Since when?!"

The pretentious, floating eyeball looked like he wanted to be anywhere else other than here, providing information to King Phantom, but explained anyway.

"The day you officially achieved royal status, you permanently linked your being to the Infinite Realms. When this happened, however, a child was in the process of being created with the assistance of ectoplasmic runoff that's been leaking into the mortal world for centuries. As a result of your power being incorporated into the Realms at such a time, this human child retained an imprint of your core signature. The Infinite Realms itself has recognized this child as your offspring. Your... other offspring has yet to be recognized in such a way and would therefore be considered your second heir once claimed."

Danny stared at the Observant with wide, blank eyes that were slowly filling with dread and panic.

"Why are you just telling me this now?? My coronation was over a decade ago!" He held his face in his hands and gave a horrified groan at what he just learned.

"If you really wanted that clone as your heir, I'm afraid it's too late to change it-"

Danny's head shot back up with a snarl and furious green eyes.

"That's not what I'm upset about you walking cataracts! Eleven years! I've missed eleven years of this kid's life!! How could you think I-"

At a loss for words, he growled deep in his chest. Deep enough that it echoed throughout the halls and rattled the floors.

"Who is this kid, and where can I find them?"

Once given the information and learning of the child's other parental figures, he gets to work. A few weeks later, he appears in the home office of a well-known billionaire with a stack of papers that he promptly slams onto the desk in front of the startled man. (1)

"I demand visitation rights to our son, Damian Wayne."

✦

(1) Danny actually visited Talia first to get visitation rights. Needless to say, that didn't go very well. He's still got a couple knives floating around in his chest cavity because of it.

(*) ALSO! I'm not sure how this lines up with the DC/Batman timeline. All I figured out is that if Danny waited to be crowned until after he graduated college as an astrophysicist, which take 5 to 7 years, he'd be about 36 years old when he finds out about Damian. Bruce would be about 41, so the age gap is only 5 years. If y'all wanna make this Danny/Bruce, go ahead!

[rkvriki]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ enhypen obliviously in love

hi.......lmfao i keep disappearing i swear i'm alive but my isnpo has been going down the drain but i got this cute lil idea also to take a break of all the smutty things i've been posting lolz... anyways hope you enjoy this one !

make sure to leave feedback and reblog! my requests are closed and my talk box is always open so lets talk!

WARNINGS ! none really i think?? this is just not my best work im sorry </3 word count: 1.9k a/n: sorry that some of them, mainly hee's, are smaller than others, my brain isn't functioning and i had a writer's block during this and if it's not goo it's bc i quite forced myself to write this bc i wanted to post sth :(

୨୧ LEE HEESEUNG ! - trying to hold your hand and failing

you and heeseung met through mutual friends in your first year of college and you became almost inseparable ever since then. in the beginning of it, you would only be together when the whole group was, but as time went by and you both started feeling more than just platonic feelings you two started hanging out alone as well. it was usual for heeseung to walk you to your apartment after classes and today was no different. you two walked side by side, the sun almost setting behind you. it was mostly quiet except for the background chatting and the small talk you two would make about something you saw. you could feel heeseung’s hand brushing against yours from time to time and you were internally cursing him out for not holding your hand already. after a few moments of silence, you heard heeseung sigh as he gained courage to hold your hand. his hand got closer to yours but- oh! a light post came between you two. needless to say heeseung was a blushing mess while you laughed at him.

୨୧ PARK JONGSEONG ! - confronting you about it

anyone had to be really blind to not notice the romantic connection there was between you and jay. it was so obvious you were both in love with each other, it was almost painful how one of the sides didn’t notice. that side being you. it’s not like you didn’t like jay romantically, because you do. a lot. but you felt like he just saw you as a best friend he tends to protect a lot. jay didn’t really show it, but he gets really frustrated when he tries to make a move on you in a subtle way, only for you to put him in the friend zone, but it’s all unintentional. every time someone tells you “jay totally likes you.” you’re quick to dismiss them because he would never see you like that. even though you’re the one saying it, it breaks you inside. until one day, you’re both in a diner, sharing fries and a milkshake and you can see jay fidgeting nervously and bouncing his leg repeatedly. “you’re restless, what’s going on?” you ask him, worried. jay sighs heavily and props his elbows on the table, staring at you with a serious expression. “look, i don’t know if i should just give up, because at this point you have to be pretending not to know.” he says “T-to know what?” he laughs at that. “that i like you, dummy.”

୨୧ SIM JAEYUN ! - tries to kiss you and fails

as childhood friends you and jake were always expected to end up dating by your fellow family members. you would always brush off any comments about you two (deep down you wish they were true) while jake just smiled like a fool while looking at you. it was no surprise when jake told his friends he liked you. it wasn’t hard to notice how he felt about you, seen the way he looks at you with glimmering eyes as he took in every word you say. he has never really tried to hide how he felt about you. he wasn’t ashamed of it and couldn’t wait for the moment you realized he liked you, because deep down he knew you felt like him too. it’s funny to him how he’s always making flirty comments and giving you kind of romantic presents and still you just thought he was playing his role as your best friend. but still, even though it was all funny and entertaining to watch, jake was tired of waiting and he decided to just directly show you how he feels. so that’s how you find yourself sitting in the park bench with him as layla plays around. jake takes a quiet deep breath as his hand comes up to brush your hair from your face, making you face him. he takes that as an opportunity to lean down. you, thinking he was gonna whisper something, turned your face to the side, making him bump his head against you. he starts laughing at you, making you confused. “you can’t really see it, can you?”

୨୧ PARK SUNGHOON ! - misunderstanding gone right ?

no one who knew you two understood how in hell you and sunghoon weren’t a couple. it was so obvious you both liked each other but still none of you seemed to do anything about it. you two were your class’s representatives so you two were almost always together and it wasn’t too hard to notice the lingering touches or stares you shared. but something the other students didn’t know was that you two had actually talked about your “feelings”. one day sunghoon almost overheard you telling your friend you liked him. “you like me?” he had asked “no! no, i don’t like you, sunghoon.” you answered trying to play it off. he nodded, his lips pursing. “good, then because i’m in love with someone else.”. it was something along those lines and you two had never talked about it again, but the tension never left. it felt heavy on you and it was painful to spend time alone with sunghoon so you settled that you were gonna tell him the truth. “remember that day you asked me if i liked you?” he hummed as he stopped in his tracks. “well, i lied. i like you, actually. i don’t want things to get awkward because you don’t feel the same but i needed to be honest.” his eyes widened as he stared at you like you were crazy. “are you kidding me? i only said i didn’t like you because you said you didn’t like me.” you gasped and pointed an accusing finger at him “why did you lie then? you said you were in love-” “hey! don’t put the blame on me now you lied too.” “well, we still can fix it right?” you said laughing making him do the same.

୨୧ KIM SUNOO ! - “PFT! who would ever like me?”

you and sunoo weren’t the closest people ever but you two spent a lot of time together since pretty much all of your friends were mutual. still, that fact didn’t stop you from developing a silly crush on him that quickly turned into something more serious the more you got to know him in the very few times the two of you were left alone after a group hangout. no one knew about it except for your best friend. you never told sunoo, not because you were afraid of rejection or him being rude because with how sweet his personality is, he would’ve rejected you in such a friendly manner it would make you think he’s reciprocating the feelings, but because no one like him would ever like you, he was way out of your league. so, confessing was definitely out of question, no matter how much your best friend would insist you would simply not do it. but in reality, it wasn’t really like that. one day you were hanging out with sunoo and your best friend at a cat cafe when suddenly in the conversation you said something along the words of “who would ever like?” and bold sunoo, was not afraid to hide his sincere feelings and answered with “i do.” he smiled while you looked up blushing furiously. your best friend laughing maniacally. “w-what?” sunoo chuckled at your reaction. “i thought i made it quite obvious that i liked you, silly.”  oh! who would’ve guessed!

୨୧ YANG JUNGWON ! - heard you liked “someone else”

you and jungwon had met each other in sophomore year of highschool and it was safe to say there was a connection instantly that was more than just a platonic one. you two quickly became attached at the hip. if jungwon said he was going somewhere it was sure that you would be here two, if you were being invited somewhere they could already expect the “can jungwon come along?” question, and vice-versa. it wasn’t strange when people came up to either you or him and asked if you were dating each other and it honestly shocked everyone when you both would always answer no to it, even your own girlfriends found your “friendship” strange. they did not find the idea of a boy-girl friendship weird or impossible to exist but they just couldn’t see your dynamic as friends so it was bound for them to question you. you heard the question so many times you decided to just tell them “fine! yes, i like him so, what?” you saw their shocked faces but they weren’t looking at you. you looked behind you seeing jungwon behind you. when you locked eyes he was quick to turn his back and walk away making you panic. a few days have gone by after that and you decided you needed to talk to him. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. i didn’t want things to get ruined by this.” jungwon stared at you “who even is tha guy?” he asked making you look at him as if he had three heads. “what?” you asked “what what?” “jungwon the guy is literally you, i thought that was settled already.” jungwon stayed silent before laughing like a maniac. “if you’re here to make fun of me you can-” jungwon shut you off with a kiss, making you relaize where things went wrong.

୨୧ NISHIMURA RIKI ! - i don’t even know how to word this one

let’s settle one thing. you two knew you both liked each other. romantically. you just don’t bother on labelling it or directly showing it to each other. everyone around you found your dynamic honestly weird but to you two it was more simple than people put it to be. it all started when you were really oblivious about ni-ki’s feelings for you so he decided to hint that he liked you more than a friend. like one time you were walking to his house and he just shoot “you look cute.” but you didn’t quite hear what he said, distracted by a dog “what did you say?” he sighed “i said you look like a fruit.” “riki that does not make sense, but whatever you say.” and he started gradually getting bolder. “i can’t get this song out of my head.” you told him during class “i can’t get you out of my head.” oh! that was new information for you “thanks…?” at this point you were acting dumb for him and he couldn’t take it anymore so he got even more straightforward. during one of your daily walks you were rambling about a flower you saw on the way and he just let you talk as his hand sneakily grabbed yours, making you stop talking and falter in your steps “what?” he asked as if it was nothing “n-nothing!” he smiled as he kept walking along with you. after that day he noticed a change. a good one. and that’s when he realized you had realized so he decided to just get to the point “is it weird if i kiss you?” he asked when you were eating lunch in the school garden. you put your drink down and turned to look at him. “honestly, riki? yes. do i care? no.” so with that he grabbed your face, kissing you as he smiled against your lips.

[hischiershoe]

Hello beautiful!!

could we get "wanting more physical affection but not wanting to overstep" from the slow burn for friends to lovers list?

maybe for lukey?? 🙏 if not nico also works!!

maybe with him being the one not wanting to overstep?? i just feel like luke is a stage 5 clinger

i went with luke because i absolutely agree, that man is clingyyyyy

For as long as Luke had known you, you were always very mindful with any sort of physical touch with him. You always made sure that there was a respectable distance between you, that your leg didn't brush his when you sat next to him, and you definitely didn’t let any hugs linger longer than a few seconds. At first, it didn't bother him because, to him, that was always just how you were. At least he thought it was.

When the two of you got older and your friend group nearly tripled in size, he realized that it was only him that you were like that with. You weren't necessarily overly affectionate with everyone else, but you never pulled away from them the way you did when it was with him. You never bothered to make sure you kept enough space between you and them. You never hugged him the way you hugged anyone else.

Needless to say, it started getting to Luke, then.

He never said anything to you, though. He always kept his quiet insecurities to himself, not wanting to push you too far into something you didn't want to do. He was afraid if he brought it up, he would lose you as a friend, and that was the last thing he wanted.

"So," Jack drew out, glancing at you from his spot on the couch, "I have a question for you."

"What's up," You mumble, not looking away from the movie playing on the TV.

"Q and I noticed that you don't really touch Luke. Wait no, that sounds weird," He stumbles over his words as you look at him with wide eyes, "I mean, you always kind of push him or move away if he gets too close, but you don't do that with anyone else. What's up with that?"

"I don't do that," You deny, scrunching your face in confusion.

"Yeah, you do," He sits up, placing his elbows on his knees as raises his brows at you, "Don't tell him I said something, but he whines about it all the time. Says he think you don’t like him or whatever. I was just wondering why."

Truthfully, you had been doing it knowingly, but not because you wanted to upset him. When you were younger, you did it because he was a boy and you thought boys were gross. As you grew older, you did it because you started to like him, and you didn’t want to let yourself get too close. Well, physically at least. Though, in your defense, you never thought it would be something he would care about. He'd never been the physical affection type of with anyone else before, so why had he been complaining about it to his brothers?

"Why didn't he say anything to me," You deflect after the brief silence that hung in the air.

"You'll have to ask him that," He throws his hands up in mock surrender, "I've got plans with some of the guys, so I'll bee out for a while. Take that however you’d like.”

By the time Luke got back from the bathroom, Jack was slipping out of the door and his words were ringing in his ears. You were staring at the wall when he settled on the couch, making sure to keep the usual amount of distance you always left between the two of you. You could feel his eyes on the side of your face, watching the way a million and one thoughts ran through your mind until an idea suddenly struck in your mind.

You subtly shifted towards Luke, ignoring the nauseating wave of nerves that washed over you, and turned your entire body towards him. You tucked your foot under your leg, your knee slightly pressing into Luke’s thigh, and you swear you’ve never seen his eyes grow so big before.

“Luke,” You softly test, hands falling to your shin, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know,” He swallows, afraid that if he even breathed too hard you’d move away from him.

“Even if something I do bothers you,” You stress, your gaze soft as you fixate on his face, “No matter what it is.”

Luke felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest with you so close to him combined with the way you were looking at him. It was making him even more nervous than he usually was around you, and that was already a lot.

“Um,” He cleared his throat before taking a deep breath and shifting his focus to his lap, “Did Jack say something to you or something?”

“Maybe,” You admit, swallowing the bundle of nerves in your throat as you let your hand cover his own.

Oh God, Luke thought he was going to pass out. Both from the fact that Jack told you his longest kept secret, and the fact that you were practically holding his hand.

“He didn’t say anything bad,” You assure him, “Just that you feel like I pull away from you. Actually, his words were he noticed that l ‘don’t really touch you’, but that comes off a bit weird I think.”

You felt a sense of worry creeping up your neck, the feeling that maybe Jack had been completely off base and you had just brought up something completely unnecessary settling in your stomach. It didn’t help that Luke looked as if he had no idea what you were talking about, or maybe he was shocked that you’d brought it up. You couldn’t tell.

“Luke,” You weakly try again, restracting your hand back to your lap and Luke was silently cursing himself for taking too long to respond , “Do you feel like that?”

“Kind of,” He shakily confesses, his fingers twitching towards you, “But it’s totally okay! You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s not a big deal and I don’t know why Jack sa—”

“Hey,” You softly interrupt him, “Take a breath, your face is turning red. Why didn’t you ever tell me that it bothered you?”

“Dunno,” He bashfully shrugs, his eyes darting around the room and his tongue poking the inside of his cheek, “I was worried bringing it up would push you away and I never want to do that to you. It’s not something you’re comfortable with and that’s okay.”

When he meets your gaze again, you couldn’t help but let the idea that there was an underlying meaning to Luke’s words float around in your mind. Would he really let something like that get to him so much if he only thought of you as a friend?

“It’s not that I’m not comfortable with it,” You shake your head, hoping that what you were about to say wasn’t going to ruin everything, “It’s because I didn’t want to get too comfortable because I like you, Luke. I like you a lot and I knew I would get hopeful the feeling was shared if I let myself do all those things with you, too.”

You watched a multitude of unreadable emotions flash in his eyes, and it made your lungs feel like they were on fire. The longer he went without saying anything, the harder it got to breathe or think. You knew words weren’t exactly Luke’s forte, but that didn’t make this any easier for you.

“You— You like me,” He finally breathes out, almost like he doesn’t believe it, “Are you sure?”

You can’t help but let out a breathy laugh, blinking away the anxious tears that had formed in your eyes, “Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t travel to New Jersey every month for just anyone.”

“Oh my god,” He mumbles under his breath before he shifts his focus back to you, “I like you, too. Like a lot. I don’t just let anyone take over my bed every month.”

His teasing makes a weight lift off your shoulders, your body visibly relaxing before you let yourself lean against him. His arm is immediately around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest as the pads of his finger press into your hips. Being this close to him still made your heart race and your hands clammy, but now it was with the knowledge that he felt the same about you.

For the rest of the weekend, there was rarely a time where Luke wasn’t touching you in some sort of way. He was always holding your hand, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, laying on your chest as you ran your fingers through his hair. It didn’t matter what you were doing, that boy made sure he could feel you against him, but you weren’t complaining. If anything, you were much worse than him, and everyone knew he wasn’t going to fight that, especially because it carried on behind closed doors.

[themeraldee]

Sweet Valentine

[Masterlist]

| 3.8k | Homelander x fem!Reader | Fluff. Some silly banter. And a whole lot of kissing and cuddling. Homelander is still Homelander (i.e. thoughts of murder occur on a daily basis, though not aimed at reader). Teeny tiny bit of Homelander trying to get frisky ('trying to' being the keyword here)

Summary: After a week of being spoiled with gifts leading up to Valentine's, you treat Homelander to a surprise of your own.

Author’s Note: This was meant to be done for Valentine's but hey at least it's still (barely) February!

Written for @discowizard88 for this request🩷

That’s just his rotten fucking luck. 

Marketing thought it would be a good idea to book his entire week full of appearances, shows, interviews and commercial shoots because they didn’t think he had anything better to do. Fucking imbeciles. He has you now.

He’s been looking forward to this day for months. Throughout your first year together Homelander’s been counting down all the occasions, events and celebrations that he’s not really had a chance to cherish before. Maeve was never the type to accept his grand, downright scripted, romantic gestures. Their last celebrated Valentine’s she all but laughed in his face when he brought her roses. Needless to say, they’ve not celebrated any consequent Valentine’s from that year on out. 

But you’re different. You appreciate it, you appreciate him. You turn downright giddy anytime he showers you with gifts and love. He was more than ready to smother you in love on this day. It’s a day for lovers, after all, what good would it be if he wasted that opportunity.

He planned it all out. Valentine’s day was gonna be big. As if you could expect anything less from him. And while the gifts kept coming, so did the TV appearances and commercial shoots.

It took one blink for the entire week to be pretty much over without him getting to participate in many of the activities he had planned. 

Homelander hasn’t felt this frustrated in a while. While he tried his best to move the schedule around, Madelyn was adamant about the importance these event had on his image and he couldn’t do much but grit his teeth and comply lest he upset her. But why doesn’t she see how important this is to him? Isn’t it obvious? 

He feels his eyes twitch. His smile becomes tighter, strained. Easily turning from his TV smile to the threatening grimace it truly is. These fucking photoshoots are beneath him. As if he doesn't have anything better to do than to stand here for hours until they've taken thousands of photos of him.

His irritation rises with each click of the camera, each flash blinding his eyes. He barely notices the way his eyes subtly heat up over the sound of ringing his ears. He's seconds away from blasting a hole straight through the camera lens and the photographer's brain. The urge to let go is strong, so strong in fact he can already imagine the bitter scent of burning wafting through the air.

Only thing that takes him out of his irritation is a subtle vibration against his leg signaling a new message. He instantly knows it's from you, nobody else gets texting privileges. Heat blooms in his chest. Just the thought of your attention brings back a genuine smile. 

He graces the crew with a smile that really is meant for you.

“Sorry folks, I gotta take five.” His lips are stretched into that awkward thin-lipped smile and he puts his hands up in a faux-apologetic gesture. He steps off the backdrop to the side, already fishing out his phone from the hidden pocket he had the costume department sew in. They carved out a space in the fake musculature of the suit so it fit right in without leaving an awkward rectangular outline in what's meant to be a skin tight suit. 

He unlocks his phone, greeted with the sickly sweet photo of the two of you. Sometimes this joy feels like his little secret. A vindictive joy against the odds. 

Come to the cabin when you're free. I've got a surprise for you ❤️

Even a simple message from you causes the weight on his chest to drop, dissolving his anger immediately. 

Aren't you a saint? Unknowingly you've just saved the entire studio. And they don't even know how grateful they should be that he has you. 

And with a promise like that he can't really stand to have one more photo taken. He slips his phone back into his pocket, turning around with a swish of his cape.

“Whoopsie-daisy, gonna have to cut this short, the city calls for my help. You know how it is, the criminals just looove to push their luck. Anyway, you got enough right? Yeah? yeah I thought so." He makes some broad gestures with a solidifying thumbs-up as if he was committing to a deal and salutes with a, "Alright. Laters.” He talks fast enough to shut any critical comments down before they even have a chance to spill from their worthless mouths.

With a quick glance to the corner of the room where Ashley is already standing anxiously arrow-straight, he doesn’t need to say anything to know that she will fight and bargain to save the situation to the best of her meagre abilities. However the fuck she does is not his problem, not like he needs to explain himself.

He doesn't wait to see the other people’s reactions, already eager to lose the watchful eyes of the crew and the camera lens. He downright stomps his way out of the studio and at the first glimpse of the bright blue sky he takes off, kicking off the ground with an obnoxious boom that rattles the foundations of nearby buildings.

He’s giddy with excitement. As he rips through the clouds, the wind pulling his hair back, slashing through the gelled cast, he can’t take that smile off his face. The adrenaline-like rush he feels in his gut over your surprise is new. It’s exciting! He doesn’t remember the last time somebody treated him to an honest-to-god surprise. A proper one at least. None of the slimy corporate schmoozing.

He reaches the location in record speed, just under seven minutes—though it still feels like forever. But the excitement clouds his vision and suddenly he’s barrelling down the atmosphere, seconds away from performing one of his ostentatious landings and exploding the ground around him. He catches himself last second, putting his heel first as an emergency break.

His landing is clumsy. He staggers as soon as his foot hits the ground, kicking up the leaves around him into the air. He regains his balance at the last tremble of his foot, sparing himself the embarrassment of a failed landing—one he hasn’t experienced since the lab days.

God, now look at his pathetic simpering self.

Literally falling head over heels because you blew your whistle. Like a needy puppy he races to you, zipping through all obstacles, unwilling to lose a single second of the allocated time he gets to spend with you.

The sweetheart you are, you’d probably praise him for it anyway and kiss his boo-boo away. That thought alone makes him rethink the fall. Not that he can actually get scraped by a measly rough landing. Though, maybe the extra attention is worth the damage it would do to his ego. 

“Woaaah, you okay?” Before he’s had a chance to look around and lock his eyes on you, you’re in his field of vision by your own doing. Quick footsteps, muffled by the leaves covering the ground become louder and louder until you’ve got your arms wrapped around one of his, helping him up. As if he actually needed it. He’s so charmed by the way you treat him as if he were fine china.

You give an awkward little chuckle. “Don’t want you getting hurt because of me.” 

Overcome with surging emotions, Homelander pulls you closer, both of his hands cupping your cheeks as he gives you a big sappy kiss. It’s as much a hello as it is a I love you with all my heart. 

Now that his heart is satisfied, for the time being at least, he lets you go. Immediately tempted to dive in for more after he sees your flustered face, all giddy twitches to the corners of your lips as you look everywhere but him. Almost embarrassed that somebody might see you two kiss so passionately.

Yeah, he can’t let you go without more. He pulls you in again, and this time his kisses are silly. Loud with a wet mwah each time he presses a kiss to a different part of your face. Your cheeks, nose, forehead, chin and lips don’t stand a chance. This time his kisses do force flustered giggles out of you, a squeak or two after he squishes your cheeks with his numerous kisses. Good luck keeping count with him around.

Oh how he missed you. This week has been nothing but one item on Vought’s itinerary after another and his hunger for you and your love has been growing each passing second he spends in your absence.

You finally manage to push him away, the rapid-fire smooching already getting you ticklish and wobbly. Not that he wouldn’t catch you should his affection be too much for you. Of course then you really couldn’t escape the descent of affection he had to give. 

But he’s a merciful god, and he lets you create some distance. Satisfied, he watches your giggles slowly die out as you look every bit in love. “Hey,” you finally break your loving eye contact and you reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Hey, you.” He echoes, his smile equally fond, eyes crinkling with genuine joy.

“You got here very quickly.” You note. Both a little impressed and suspicious. He’s very aware of the way your thumb is rubbing over his glove. Though dulled through the leather, each stroke makes his heart gain a little momentum.

“Well, you know,” he waves his free hand in the air, “the shoot was just wrapping up. I left as soon as I could. Wouldn’t wanna miss our secret little rendezvous.” The fact that he was close to burning down the studio is a little detail you don’t need to be privy to. Though at this point, you can probably tell. 

“Speaking of,” Homelander continues. “There you go, summoning me to a quiet, middle of nowhere, cabin in the woods. Mind enlightening me what’s all this about? What kind of naughty plans has your pretty little head cooked up that require total isolation, huh?” His grin is sharp and he by no means hides the immediate thoughts running through his head.

“First of all, this is your cabin. Not some middle of nowhere. Second of all, get your mind out of the gutter—now.” Even through your scolding you giggle, grinning at him as you walk backwards, dragging him with you.

Turning just around the end of the cabin presents a sweet sight. On the soft grass lies a picnic blanket, adorned with a woven basket, a colourful spread of food, pillows, and even a bunch of roses. As if taken straight from a romance novel. 

Except, this is real. Unlike most of his previous love life.

“Tada! Happy Valentine’s day!” You let his hand go and you raise your arms in the air at the reveal. Right along with your pretty glittering smile. The joy of this moment feels unreal. Is this really happening? Is this really his life these days? He can’t remember a time when he last experienced a joy this pure that wasn’t with you.

“W-uh-what? You put all of this together?” He’s a little shell-shocked. After a busy week, filled with more work than time with you—much to his displeasure—this feels like an oasis. He’s been parched all week, dragging through the desert that was working for Vought and here you come, rescuing him with the most delicious sip of water. Well, more like a whole reservoir of it.

“I had a teeny tiny bit of help but yeah,” you pinch your fingers together to show just how little help you’ve had.

“I had to make it a secret! And you’ve been treating me so well all week, I had to have a little surprise for you too.” He can’t tell which one of you is more excited. You look more excited with your near ‘skipping to the picnic blanket’ attitude, but his heart is hammering against his ribcage with this overwhelming joy he’s not felt in a while. He still so easily gets disarmed by all the ways you show your love. This is just another cherry on top of what feels like an infinitely tiered cake that is your relationship. Each time he thinks you surely don’t have more to give, you go and add another tier or another cherry. Sweeting his sour life, one moment at a time.

“Come on,” you walk—no, skip—back to him, aiming to grasp both of his hands. Homelander catches you right before you manage to, one arm around your waist, the other supporting the back of your head and just like that you’re yet again caught in the web that are his kisses. He presses his lips firmly against yours, waiting for you to relax, letting him have his way with your now-parted lips. With pleased little sighs and long hums in between, he renders your legs into a jelly-like state, supporting your weight effortlessly.

“I love you,” he breathes out heavily when he finally pulls away, his forehead pressed against yours.

“I love you too,” you catch your breath. The smile you offer up steals his heart a hundred times over, while the sped up pitter-patter of your heart soothes him. You’re just as enamored by him as he is by you.

“Let’s enjoy this together.” He lets you take his hands this time as you walk him to the picnic. You sit down first, carving out a space for the two of you, impatiently patting the area next to you. Homelander takes care to move his cape out of the way while not knocking anything over or covering anything up.

“I hope your calendar is free the entire weekend because I brought a lot of food, drinks, blankets and movies and I plan to spend all this time spoiling you.”

“I thought it was the gentleman’s job to spoil his lady.” He looks at you fondly, one wouldn’t even recognise him like this. Though most haven’t earned this reaction from him. You have. 

“What can I say, I’m all for gender equality. So just let me spoil you for once.”

“Alright then missy, let’s see what you’ve got.” He’s lying on his side, propped up on his elbow. 

While you reach for the furthest tray filled with all sorts of sweets and finger food, Homelander looks around at all that you’ve prepared, curiously picking up an iced cookie.

“Are these… our initials?” He asks after he inspects the heart shaped cookie from each side before biting into it. They’re clearly custom made with the love for each other in mind, but the idea of you ordering these from a bakery makes him chuckle. What’s next, are you gonna get him to carve out your initials into a tree?

Well, he definitely could.

Maybe, he should. 

He could carve out your initials into the moon if you asked him to. 

“Cheesy, I know.”

“Sweet too, just like you.” 

“I take it back, you’re a whole league ahead of the cookies.” You deadpan.

“Come on babe, when else if not on Valentine’s day? Cut me some slack.” He was gonna put the rest of the cookie down, not wanting to overwhelm himself with too much sugar but seeing his initial all alone now that he’s bitten off your letter looks too sad for his liking. He pops the rest of the cookie in his mouth, wiping off the crumbs with his glove. 

“Now, now. Don’t get too full on cookies. I’ve got more for you.” You pluck a chocolate covered strawberry from a tray. “Here, open up.” You hold the chocolate covered tip of the strawberry close to his lips, waiting for him to take a bite. It’s only appropriate for a man of god-like status like him to be fed and worshipped by his love. You always fill that role so well. His most devout one. 

He bites half of it, letting you eat the rest. You put the green top back onto the tray when you’re done with your portion.

“You know I’ve never had those before.” He says after a thorough tasting session.

You have the audacity to look at him like he’s grown another head.

“You’re fucking with me. You’ve never had chocolate strawberries?” Your face scrunches in disbelief as you speak over a mouthful of goodness.

“I’ve had chocolate. I’ve had strawberries. Obviously. Just never together.” He shakes his head a little, acting as if you’re the crazy one.

“Wow. Okay. We’re gonna have to explore this bizarre list of things you’ve never had before.” Indulgently you go for another one, and he takes another mental note of your likes.

When he says nothing you prompt him with, “Well? What’s the verdict? Is it everything you’ve ever imagined?”

“Did you make them?” He asks, confusing you, instead of actually answering your question.

“No, I picked them up from the same bakery I got the cookies from.”

“Okay good, well, it’s not my favourite. Sorry to disappoint you there.” He clasps his hands together as he looks at you with a terribly fake apologetic smile.

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Were you about to lie to me if I said I did make them?”

He sputters, blowing a raspberry as he looks away, pretending to just be scoping out the place.

“Who, me? No, never!” He feigns innocence without actually putting any of his acting chops behind the gesture.

“You ass!” You gently smack his chest. “What didn’t you like about it?” Now that you know he’s not a fan, you eagerly hog the tray, scoffing down one strawberry after another.

“The taste is fine enough. It’s the texture that’s all wrong. Mushy and crunchy at the same time is just, bleugh.” He shakes his head a little bit as if disgusted, acting all dramatic. He’d happily be seen as silly and dramatic if it gets you to laugh as joyously and heartily as it does this time.

When your chuckles die out, you call him out. “Fussy. Oh well, more for me.”

He takes his time. Watching over you closely as you enjoy your sweet little red treats.

“You know what would taste better?” 

“Hmm?” You hum absentmindedly, putting the tray away after discarding another leafy top.

“You.” He pulls you down to his level when your hands are free, lying you across the top of him.

You yelp at the sudden pull. After you settle on top of him a little better, you mumble. “I taste just like the strawberries!” 

“Mhm, but you feel a hell of a lot better. C’mere.” Just like that, he’s kissing you again. His hands can’t decide where to hold you so they slide around your back, your hips—stealing a cheeky squeeze of your ass, shocking a little nip to his lip from you—and all the way around your neck, head and arms. His hands are just as greedy for you as his lips are.

And you were right. You do taste like strawberries and chocolate. The hint of sweet and delicious alongside the taste of you that he so loves. You don’t take his kisses as seriously. Giggling and wobbling on top of him.

You pull away with a burst of giggles at the awkward position. You’re almost spread entirely across him, limb to limb. Body part to body part. It’s admittedly a little silly looking. Like two people making snow angels on top of one another. But still, the effortlessness that comes with the sounds you make, swells his heart with fondness.

You reach your arm out into the woven wicker basket and pull out a can of whipped cream.

“Well if you don’t like the chocolate ones, I’ve got some whipped cream for you.” Except instead of covering one of the fresh strawberries, you squirt a dollop of cream at the tip of his nose.

Homelander’s bewildered at your child-like actions. Especially so, when you lick the cream off with a disgusting slurp.

“Welp, now you’ve done it.” He easily wrestles you for the can without needing to use even an ounce of his strength, twisting the two of you around. 

He manages to knock over some of your pretty trays but he can’t force himself to care. Now when you’re underneath him.

You look so pretty like this.

Happily taking your place underneath him, cheeks puffed up with your laughter, lips in a constant wide grin. Your happiness around him makes you the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. He has to stop himself from descending on you with another avalanche of kisses, instead opting for continuing this playful little wrestling match you got yourselves into.

Homelander squirts the cream in a line over your lips, licking and kissing it off in between the laughter that still shakes your body. He leaves your lips leaving all sticky and improperly cleaned. This distracts you well enough for him to draw a line from your neck to your cleavage.

With a scandalous shriek you try to push him away. “Oh my god are you crazy, not out here!”

You squeak even more when you feel the cream land in between your breasts, spreading across your skin as it slowly warms up and turns liquid.

“There is literally nobody out here. I’d hear them.” Or well, let’s be real. He’d burn their eyes out for accidentally seeing you in a mildly compromising position, he wants to add but chooses to keep the moment sweet for your sake.

Obscenely, he licks up all the cream he covered you with. No matter how much you act as if this is the filthiest thing he’s ever done. There are plenty more filthier things he’s got planned with this whipped cream. Suddenly you’ve opened up a whole world of possibilities he hasn’t thought of before.

Thinking he’s already got you hook, line and sinker as soon as his tongue hits your skin, he’s in for another surprise when you don’t give in as easily. You manage to snag the can from his hand right before he gets any further.

“If you want to continue this, we’re gonna have to pack all of this up and take it indoors.” You threaten as if you were scolding a child.

"Fine. We can stay here." Finally, with a huff, he drops his advances, instead dropping his weight on you for a second before readjusting your position. Really, he’s glad that you have a mind of your own. Which isn’t something he can say for most of the people he’s surrounded with.

“See, this is nice.” You pull yourself up a little so that his head rests on your stomach. You take a deep breath, exhaling slowly and he enjoys the slow rise and fall of your torso. To have someone so alive and eager with him really feels like the best Valentine’s day gift. That sickly sweet dimpled little fruit could never compare.

So yeah. It is nice. Really nice.

Your fingers cradle through his locks, gently breaking apart the hair product the styling team piled on for his photoshoot. He hums his pleased approval into the softness of your stomach, nuzzling himself into you.

Shenanigans can always wait. Now, he has this. And the rest of the weekend to catch up on all the time lost.

Taglist (you can add(or remove) yourself to be tagged when I publish a new fic):

@infinetlyforgotten | @rafecamsgirlll | @nervoussystemss | @hom3landr

@mrsdesade | @nommingonfood | @littlegaaby | @jokesonyoupup

@natliecole | @misatxox

[stxrvel]

injustice (3)

series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! a lot of curse words, a lot of self-deprecation and low self esteem. no proofread. this is nawt silly writing, we're diving right into the aNgSt. jumpscare? iykyk a/n. hi guys! this was a rollercoaster for me to write, but i hope it doesn't come as harsh as i think it is. pls let me know what you think in the comments!! see you next week!!

series masterlist | bts masterlist | previous | next

You had gone through a scenario like that in your head several times. A variety of moments, conversations and looks that always ended in the same unpleasant, inevitable and demoralizing way: you were forgotten by the people you loved most in the world. Only when you reached 18 would you realize how heartbreaking the dull thud of the silence of indifference was, how sharp and icy the loneliness was, how it penetrated and paralyzed your bones; but at that time, at 16, you could still convince yourself that all those things were only in your head and would always be there.

“Now that you're the last to go, you guys are much more likely to forget about me.”

“Of course not! In fact, as soon as I start earning money I'll save up to take you with us.”

Jungkook shook his head, his narrowed eyes judging you as if having insecurities was a sin. You believed his words at that moment, because being the last one still with you, 'cause you were going to graduate from school in the same year, it was the only thing you could do. Hold on to the idea that you really weren't going to be forgotten, because the mere conception of a future without your best friends was inconceivable.

“Jimin-hyung said he was going to try to call more often,” your friend went on, his eyes fixed on the bass on his lap and his important task of leaving it neat before returning it to its holy post in the school's music room. “I haven't talked to them in about three days.”

Jimin and Taehyung had left just a couple of months ago, but thanks to the opportunities opened to them with their incredible willingness, discipline and some string twitching on Namjoon's part, they had managed to get into a great academy to train and fulfill their dreams.

That also brought with it, as irreversible side effects, that your communication with them was drastically reduced. You had to constantly remind yourself and Jungkook that it was out of their control. With their future at stake, there was something for which they had to exert extreme effort and for which to sacrifice some other things.

“It's normal that they don't have as much time as they used to, Kookie.” You lowered your head, noticing the way his hands delicately handled the instrument on his legs. Since Jimin and Taehyung had left there was no time of day when you could tear yourself away from Jungkook, which is why you accompanied him to his extracurricular music lessons when you really should have been studying for the college entrance exam. “Life after school gets really hectic.”

“I've heard that college life is quieter.” Jungkook twisted his lips, wiping between the strings and his fingerprints left on the bass every time he moved it back and forth to clean it. It was an almost irresistible cycle.

“The only one at college right now is Seokjin and even about him we haven't heard much.” You leaned back against the piano, noticing Jungkook's movements pause for a moment as he surely reminisced about the few times he had been able to talk to Jin that month.

It had been two years since Seokjin had graduated and traveled all the way to the capital to study medicine. Needless to say, it was more than clear that communication with Jin would be almost nil from then on, but Jungkook always used to pout about it.

“It's just that Jin-hyung also chose a rather demanding career.” Jungkook twisted his lips, as if suppressing Jin in his head, waving the microfiber towel over the edges of the bass.

“And the others are trying too hard to carve their way through. It can be as complicated as going out to look for a job right after graduating.”

Jungkook nodded, admiring his cleaning job with a frown. He looked so focused that it caught you by surprise when he spoke again.

“You already know if you're going to college, noona? We're graduating this year.”

You blinked once, twice, three times. His nonchalant self went back to waving the towel over nonexistent smudges as you breathed in and decided not to go that route. “Will you?”

Jungkook raised his head, pausing his movements for a moment to try to analyze your gaze. With a sigh, he let out your poorly disguised way of shifting the focus of the conversation to get up and hang the instrument, glowing, on the wall of the music room.

“I don't know yet… Namjoon-hyung says he can help me.”

“Isn't it your dream, why do you doubt it?”

“I'm not sure, noona. What if I don't measure up? What if I fail?”

When your friend turned away, the mirror to his soul showed his vulnerability dancing on the edge of his eyelids. His distrust constricted your heart, a hand closing around your throat at the inner conflicts you knew Jungkook used to have and in the face of which you often couldn't do anything about because he didn't usually share such things.

“Then you try again.”

“Noona…” Jungkook wanted to grumble, it was obvious from the way his eyes moved to the ceiling, his head cocking as if he was about to give you a big life lesson on why you can't survive on motivational phrases.

But Jungkook was a softie about such things, even if he tried to hide it.

“Jungkook, you are literally a golden promise. No process is ever easy, especially in the industry you want to get into, but don't think for a second that you're going to outgrow it. You're one of the most capable people I've ever met.”

Your friend stopped his steps, when after hanging up the bass he was returning to your post in front of you, raising his head as if caught committing a prank. But the vulnerability in his eyes remained, and by the way they shone in the dim light of the room, still blinking to try to contain the emotion, you knew your words had tugged at just that thorn in his heart you were trying to pull out.

“Thank you, noona.”

“I'm just telling the truth.” You lifted a shoulder, shaking your head nonchalantly like it was no big deal, and Jungkook just let out an amused chuckle.

“You do know we'd never forget about you, right? How could we?”

-

“How could we?”

Yuna shook her head, frowning at her phone, oblivious to the way you cringed at her choice of words.

“She's bringing celebrities into the store and she want us to leave? Don't we work so well that we always take the top employee of the month spot even though it should only be held by one person? Don't we deserve that gift?”

You watched her, marveling at how after just a few seconds so many emotions could build up into an overwhelming knot in your chest. The old notes of an old piano played in the back of your head, bringing to the surface memories of when life was easier; when you thought you had it all and nothing would ever be better than that; when you thought you were enough.

“So what do you plan to do about it?” you blinked, focusing on the notation of bills in your notebook with an invisible hand squeezing your heart.

There was no use thinking about such things after so long.

Yuna pursed her lips, her expression serious and forceful. “I think we should have a sit-in.”

“We should? That sounds like more than one person.”

“Do you disagree with me?”

“I'm happy with going home early, especially on a Friday, you know?”

“y/n,” Yuna came up to your face over the cash register display case, her forearms resting on the glass and her eyes so bright with determination you were sure her head could light the whole store on fire the way she was scheming and scheming, running around like her life depended on it, “we could be close to meeting the seven gods of Olympus, and you think the best thing to do is go home?”

“Just in case you forgot, I have a business to run now.” You reminded her, moving to poke her with your middle finger all over her forehead and push her away from the cash register now that a new customer had come in.

“What business should a business matter when you could meet the reason for existence itself?”

Yuna dropped onto the display case, her body sliding like jelly until only her head was left on the glass. You and the new customer watched her, her arms limp at her sides and her gaze lost. A lone tear running down the bridge of her nose.

“God, you're so dramatic.”

“Does that mean yes?” Her head snapped up like a spring, a big smile scaring the soul out of the customer who ducked behind your friend to run for their order.

“No and stop acting like that, you're going to scare away customers.”

Yuna whined, her exaggerated tantrum leading you to wiggle your feet all the way to the cellar.

“I'm offering you the holy grail, and this is how you pay me?”

The sound of her feet shuffling behind you kept your head sane. Even though his insinuations were baseless, your heart was pounding so hard you felt your ribs throbbing through your muscles and skin.

Your boss had written to Yuna that you two could leave the store early today because she had a private meeting to attend. She asked them to leave everything to Patrick, including clearing the store of customers and not to worry about paying for the shift, because there would be no discount at the end of the month. Yuna was faithfully and blindly convinced that your boss really wanted you to stay, because she spent almost ten minutes with her eyes glued to the screen almost without blinking, watching the 'typing…' appear and disappear under your boss's contact name. 'I'm sure she's debating how much confidence she has in us…', she said as her red eyes missed no detail of that important chat and that primordial moment, ending in an offended 'none!' when her last message came through.

In the same way, Yuna convinced herself that the meeting that would take place in the same place where your feet were planted was going to be attended by the seven entertainment kings of the country. The unmentionables, for all practical purposes. Where had she come to that conclusion? There was no foundation. Had your boss given any hints? None. Yuna had her head in the clouds believing she could meet her idols if she insisted a little longer.

“Would you really prefer to stand your friend up to meet seven men you don't even know for sure will show up here?”

“Well…if you put it that way it sounds like I'm doing something wrong.”

“Mmm, you just figured that out?”

Yuna dropped her shoulders as you took off your apron. Her tactics weren't going to work and it was time to give up. She half-heartedly opened her locker and stood looking at you with puppy dog eyes. You felt as guilty as if you had stepped on her tail by accident.

“Look, if I'm being honest, I doubt gigantically that Sol will tell you that you can stay if you ask her.”

“Not even for everything we've been through together?”

“She's still our boss, Yuna.”

Your friend mimicked your actions with a slower speed, her emotion draining away little by little. When her head cocked to the side, halfway through taking off her apron, you only sighed.

“The worst that can happen is I get fired, right?”

You weren't surprised that she was nevertheless willing to cross that line.

“That doesn't sound like much to you?”

“I can always write her a 'ha, ha, just joking' afterwards and get out of harm's way.”

You didn't contain the irresistible urge to roll your eyes and Yuna took that as her own signal or green light. Next thing you knew she was pulling out her phone and typing animatedly on the screen.

“I really don't think you should do that.”

“I have to try! Can I call myself a good fan if I don't do even the impossible?”

“You don't even know if they'll come.”

“I have a hunch.”

With her hand over her heart, Yuna sent the message and you feared for her life. While Sol was not at all close to the idea and conceptualization of a crazy and ruthlessly demanding boss, she did draw the line at several specific situations that they had both learned to respect. One of those was, of course, private meetings at her place. You and Yuna had set up the place countless times for Sol to sit quietly and chat with her most famous acquaintances, because her office was too formal to deal with them there, but her own home was extremely informal for the same purpose. The cafeteria served as a middle ground, the perfect place to be comfortable when talking business.

“Patrick is coming.” Yuna spoke again and by the way her eyes didn't leave the screen you could tell Sol hadn't responded yet.

“I wish you the best of luck, Yuna.”

“Thank you! Coming from you it's a blessing, indeed.”

“And why's that?”

You finally stood up, closing your locker with your strap bag over your right shoulder. You were ready to leave while your friend was still biting her index fingernail waiting for an almost impossible and inconceivable message from her boss.

“What else can I expect from the writer who blew up overnight and is soon going to be one of the New York Times bestsellers and famous worldwide?”

“Ah,” you turned your head, unable to contain inwardly the way a warmth settled in your chest; you still had a hard time accepting how things had turned out, but as long as you couldn't control the influx of orders that had to take a back seat, “smooth.”

Yuna smiled and when her eyes met yours you swore she was about to tell you one more time how proud she was of you, but her phone vibrated in her hands and the last thing you saw her eyes widen exaggeratedly before her scream shook the foundations of the store and almost the entire city.

“SHE SAID YES!!!!”

-

Arriving home unleashed immeasurable chaos.

As soon as you opened the front door, a river of books fell like dominoes, with your father's groans and your mother's screams in the background, the sound of your work echoing in your head like lightning as stomping echoed through the house.

“Seojun, I told you to be careful walking…!”The angry expression on your mother's face disappeared the moment she recognized your face, her features softening as she knew it was her daughter. “Honey. What are you doing here so early?”

“Is that y/n?” your dad's exclamation rang out from the kitchen.

“Yes!” your mom yelled back.

The welcome was nice, but things only got more and more tedious from then on. On the one hand, you had your father telling you about accounts, numbers and multiplications of how much you had to take out of your pocket to pay for the prints, how much you would make if you sold all the books you had printed and how much you would get back, and on the other hand you had your mother telling you about the countless publishers who had written to your dm's seeking to sponsor the sale of your books, taking advantage of the boom that had been generated by the phenomenon that was Kim Taehyung.

Seojun, who had decided to move back home for the weekend to help with whatever was needed, was telling you that they had had to hire five different deliverymen -three of them trucks- to be able to deliver as many orders a day as possible, while vehemently hitting your father's forearm to remind him to include that in the accounts.

Your father was in charge of everything related to money, your mother of the direct communication with customers and Seojun of the orders; everything was done by them, with Yuna's help when she was not working, with the excuse that after so many years you just had to sit down and enjoy the fruit of your sowing without any worries.

But at that moment, when they had just let go and thrown all their worries at your feet, they stared at you expectantly.

"We need a loan."

Your mother jumped in her chair. "That's what I said!"

"That's not necessary." Your father shook his head, as he surely would have done when your mother suggested the idea judging by the expression that had planted itself on her face. "Take a loan from my wallet, but don't do business with those bankers. They'll gouge your eyes out with interest."

"Or take a publisher's offer. They'll take care of all this." Seojun pointed out, his long black hair brushing his eyebrows even though he shook it nonchalantly so he could get a good look at the three of them.

"Publishers can be freeloaders too." Your mother counter-argued, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, yeah? How many publishers have you signed on with to assert that?"

"Wow, careful with that tone, Mr. Lawyer." Your father pointed at your brother, while your mother only raised an eyebrow at him in response. Seojun sank into the chair, barely dragging an apology through his teeth.

"It's not a bad idea either, Dad."

His brown eyes returned to meet your gaze and you noticed the hesitation in them.

"Well, ultimately, it's your decision, honey."

Your mother squeezed your shoulder.

"I say we should listen to the lawyer."

"Hey!" Seojun frowned, straightening up on the chair. "Don't put such a big responsibility on me!"

Your father snorted. "But then weren't you comfortable a while ago giving orders and saying that I don't know what thing you had already seen it in class and that's why you knew what we had to do?"

"Dad…" Seojun elongated.

"Are you ready for such a position or not, Seojun? Tell me to start looking for another lawyer."

Your mother barely contained her laughter, only because of the offended sideways glance her own son sent her way. Laughter blossomed in your chest, too, like a big breath of fresh air in a field of flowers. You didn't know you needed that moment so badly until the tension disappeared from your shoulders as you laughed with your parents and your brother grumbled with his arms crossed.

-

A new batch of orders just went out - thank you so much for your purchases!

You looked at the story your mom had uploaded to Instagram in the solitude of your bedroom. The rest of the day was spent strategizing and planning marketing ideas that would likely lead you to ruin. In a defeated silence, you admitted that Yuna was really needed.

You had texted your friend a while ago, as the sunset was beginning to paint the sky with colors, but she still hadn't even checked her phone. Her last connection was a few minutes after you left at noon. You decided not to insist, even though you were a little curious about who had finally shown up at the store.

The best thing about that busy rest of the afternoon was that you'd been able to keep yourself busy enough to completely ignore the way you'd been whipped up by a few memories that morning in Yuna's company. A simple question had caused all that. And of course, with a heart as weak as a chick's and willpower almost non-existent, you let yourself be pulled right in that moment of loneliness into the well of memories.

“Jungkookie?”

Your voice pierced the silence and a shiver ran through your body as the darkness greeted you back. A few minutes passed after you plunged into the completely darkened room, walking tentatively and slowly inside, you heard a movement just outside the door you had just entered.

“Noona…”

You couldn't see him, but you didn't need to. The sobs that filled the room were enough to be able to guide you through that darkness, as indistinguishable as coal, and wrap your arms around his hunched figure on the floor beside the door.

The house was alone and as dark as that room the last night Jungkook would be there. Passing through the empty corridors of his house was a torment, but you could only imagine how your friend would feel in his place, unable to stop time as it slipped through his fingers.

Several times he had already told you that he didn't want to leave. You didn't think he meant it.

“They're waiting for you downstairs.”

“I know. I don't want to go, noona.” Jungkook moved his arms to wrap around your waist in a desperate grip, his erratic breathing against your neck breaking your heart. “I want to stay. It doesn't matter if I never become an idol. That's not important.”

“Jungkook…”

“I don't want to leave you…”

His halting voice was barely understandable, trying to be muffled by the jacket you were wearing that night when you went to see him off and didn't find him in the car with his parents. The heater seemed not to be a worthy opponent for that cold night.

“Jungkook, you're not going to leave me. We'll keep in touch. Why do you worry so much?”

“I don't want to be like them,” his pained voice pierced your chest; the movement of his body from the way the sobs were attacking him was almost uncontainable. “I don't want this distance.”

“Change is always hard, Jungkookie, but I promise you we'll be in touch always. I'll do my best to make it so.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I'll even come visit you as soon as I can.”

“No. I said I was going to pay for your trip.”

“See? You're not going to leave me.”

“Still I'm scared, noona. What if I'm not enough for them? What if I can't raise enough for you to come live with us?”

“You are enough, Jungkook. From the tips of your fingers to the tips of your hair, there's nothing about you that won't allow you to achieve your dreams, understand? You are destined to be a star. I know it's hard to leave behind everything you know in life, but believe me it will all be worth it. You will come out on top and you will succeed.”

“Noona…” Jungkook cried again, burying his face in your neck once more, clinging to you like the anchor that carried him to the surface of the ocean; the ocean shaped by his own tears. “I… don't… want… to… go…”

The hiccups that attacked him from his intense crying made it difficult for him to speak and you hadn't felt such pain even when the other boys left. There were tears shared, promises whispered and hugs that lasted longer than they should have, but no one had clung to your body as if they feared you were going to disappear at any moment and wanted to seize every second before the impending end.

“It's okay, Jungkookie,” you ran your hands up and down his back trying to calm his crying, trying to control your own as treacherous tears rolled down your cheeks with the darkness as your witness. “We'll meet again. You can wait for me. Then we can melt into another embrace and say how much we miss each other.”

Your phone vibrated on the bed, the notification startling you with its aggressiveness. Another vibration followed that one and then another. Turning on the screen, you found that half an hour had passed since you'd last seen the clock, and in passing you came across Yuna's name on the caller ID. You sighed, remembering the effusiveness with which she said goodbye in the afternoon and mentally preparing yourself for what was to come.

"Hey," you greeted, mildly surprised that her exclamations hadn't reached your ear first to interrupt your greeting.

"y/n, how were sales today?" her calm voice filled your hearing and a slight wrinkle implanted itself between your brows.

"Mmm, it was all good. We have several domiciliary and the prints are coming out with the deadlines arranged. With Seojun we considered that maybe taking on a publisher wouldn't be so bad, but I'm not sure yet."

You narrowed your eyes at the ceiling, shallowly biting your nails, waiting for the moment when Yuna would burst out, but it didn't come.

"Oh, yeah. We'll have to consider that. I'll go early tomorrow morning to seize the day." Yuna answered quietly, with the faint sound of things stirring in the background of the call. Surely she had just arrived at her apartment.

"Yuna?"

"Mhm?"

"How was the afternoon?"

"Oh, it was normal, really," she replied, her voice flat, as if the thought had barely crossed her mind since the moment she'd left the coffee shop. "I didn't see anyone memorable."

"Ah, so your knights in shining armor didn't attend?"

"Sadly, no." Yuna sighed, her unchanging attitude finding a little more sense in your head. She sounded more tired than anything.

You talked a bit more with Yuna before she excused herself to go about her evening routine and finally get some rest, specifically stressing to you how boring the whole afternoon had been and how every second she only thought about going home. You also told her a bit more about the ideas you and your father had half-heartedly spun as marketing strategies, but very earnestly your friend asked you not to do anything until she was there.

When her name disappeared from your caller ID, an Instagram notification popped up at the top of your home screen. The vibration felt like the pounding of a sledgehammer against wood, your sentence handed down with no chance of appeal, the blood in your veins freezing and an endless emptiness in the pit of your stomach.

jeonjungkook97 just followed you!

It was followed by the notification of a message from Yuna.

Unnie | 19:01 holy shit. jungkook just followed you on ig, right?

No fucking way. Another fucking account to block.

-

It wasn't like you couldn't deal with them. You had been doing it for about ten years. But now they just seemed to want to throw themselves in front of your face one by one and you weren't strong enough to handle that. Maybe your resolve needed to be more forceful; maybe you should be sure you hated them instead of feeling like your body was shaking and you could melt like jelly in the sun every time you felt they were one step closer to you. For a while, that was all you wanted; to find them; to be found. But now…?

The weekend was spent in a hodgepodge of managing your book sales and the seesaw of emotions you had in the face of the estranged but impactful actions of your old friends. You tried not to think about it too much; you really tried, but it was very difficult. It was easier to let the memories wash over you instead of diligently packing up the books on which you had squandered your blood and tears.

Your books, yes, that was the most important thing.

From the posts and hashtags, even though it had only been a couple of days, you could see that some people -those who had actually read the books- were already posting their opinions and reviews and you knew you had had plenty of time to prepare for that moment, but you really weren't ready to face it. You didn't know what it was; whether it was the pollen, the aligned planets, PMS, mercury retrograde… but all of those things were weighing you down too much recently and you weren't ready to hear the opinions.

And you couldn't help but keep asking yourself why? Having spent so much time, between so many experiences and so many personal changes, why now they decided that they would come back into your life? How dare they after ruining your life by completely abandoning you? Many times you wondered what was missing in you; what was never enough for them… sometimes you believed that this was how it was meant to be; just the seven of them, before you came along. It was always them seven first, then you.

Between lows and highs, between sadness and joy, you still had to keep working.

"Get rid of that face if you're not going to tell me what's wrong with you." Yuna crossed the cafeteria in front of you, picking up some glasses and plates on the table as lunchtime approached.

"I don't have any face."

"You've been in a somber mood since Saturday. You look dead."

You clicked your tongue, taking advantage of the fact that the store was nearly empty to do the math. "Don't be over the top."

"I'm just being honest and genuinely concerned about my friend, can you blame me?" Yuna reached the sink and simply left the dishes there to approach the cash register. Your eyes refused to meet hers, unsheathing a strange annoyance in the pit of your stomach.

"I'm fine," you moved the money automatically, doing the math in the back of your head as second nature, "don't worry so much."

"Ok, if you don't want to tell me about it at least try to distract yourself a little, why don't you take an extra half hour for lunch?"

"You know I can't do that."

"Sol would never know."

"I'm not going to do that."

Yuna pouted, dropping her chin onto the back of her hand. You knew she was about to fly you out of that chair the moment all the bills were safeguarded.

A whiplash of pain shot through your chest at the alternative of having to leave the cafeteria, alone, hovering with your thoughts once again, as you tried to shove the food down your throat. But Yuna happily dragged you out of the cafeteria, leaving you in the middle of the street with your little bag and lunch money, wishing you a happy break as she wandered off once more to deal with the sparse crowd of customers alone.

Maybe you should have told her you'd rather not eat than be alone, but…

That was the story of your life.

So you walked to that restaurant a couple of blocks away, where they sold the cheapest food in the area, and waited patiently while answering Yuna's messages to clear your mind.

Going through your social networks, you once again came across the cover of your books in the pre-viewing of a video and felt the bile in your throat. Let's see, you were happy. Or well, you were trying to convince yourself because you still had that bitter feeling in the pit of your stomach that wouldn't let you enjoy this blast like you should and it had a first and last name of its own. But, generally speaking, it was great that your books were selling, forgetting all the other circumstances that led to that happening.

So, standing in front of those videos, you were tormented by not being able to watch them. A self-published author should be prepared for that kind of thing. No, any author should be. Sharing your art with the world implicitly entailed confronting the world's expression in front of it. It was inevitable, of course, and it was also the energy that could start an engine or the fingers that put out the match. At that precise moment, you still didn't want to know what your destiny was.

You hated that. You hated feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. Why was life so heavy if you had just begun to live it?

Ah, too much pondering for one lunch.

And to think this all started with an Instagram story.

Having an existential crisis because you couldn't stand dealing with the stress and pressure of the extreme demand you were having and because of mixed feelings for a bunch of idiots resurfacing after so many years was one of the last things you thought you'd have to go through that year. Fuck, or ever in your entire life.

Taehyung might have done you a favor as well as a disservice.

But that's how you spent a while longer, as you walked back to the coffee shop, the noise of the city not being enough to quell the bustle of thoughts crashing against each other in your head.

Being in the eye of the hurricane, however, didn't mean you were safe. You barely had a breath of fresh air before the eyewall hit you hard once again.

"Noona…?"

You froze a few steps away from the cafeteria. You feared not only the way you immediately recognized the voice, but the way your body froze, fear, panic and uncertainty clouding your sense.

You were in the alley behind the coffee shop. You didn't usually go in that way, but you had taken a slightly longer way back, only because you were too busy thinking about whether or not your body was up to a longer walk.

You were so close to the door that you could almost hear Yuna's voice on the other side, barely muffled by the beeping that echoed in your ears as panic took over your body.

You didn't want to turn around. Your body was having every possible negative reaction, as if it was fighting an infection, the lunch you had just shoved down your throat seeking to make its way back into your mouth and the feeling of dizziness momentarily clouded you.

Was this how you planned to react if you ever saw them again? Was this how you acted out the scenarios you imagined in your head at night when your memories went back to the last time you saw them?

The only difference between those imaginings and what was happening at that moment was that before you could prepare yourself; you knew what was coming; you had control. Now? Your legs were about to give out, the weight of your body too much to bear.

And you wanted to mock the pathetic behavior you were engaging in. You should turn around, slap him and scream at him that you never wanted to see him again. But your heart was beating and feeling and… how could you deny it anything after so many years of being neglected?

But maybe you were imagining it. The little sleep you had this weekend and all the memories you dragged from the trunk since you saw that Instagram notification must have made you crazy enough that you heard voices, his voice, anywhere… you were still near a busy street, it could be anyone-

"y/n."

And, yet…

You didn't turn around knowing what it would entail to give his voice a face, even though you could madly and frankly recall every line of its length, and you spoke harshly through your teeth even though your labored breathing made your chest heave.

"What are you doing here?"

"Noona… you're really here."

You cringed as you heard his footsteps and clutched with inhuman speed at the lock on the door in front of you.

"I asked you a fucking question: what the fuck do you think you're doing here?"

The silence didn't give you an answer, but you could glimpse it. With your patience on edge and years of emotional repression it was impossible for you to deduce how you would react in such a case, but it didn't seem too far-fetched, even if Jungkook's surprised inspiration said he didn't expect you to be so harsh and rude.

As if you cared.

—Yes you did care, in fact, that's why your heart was beating wildly against your ribs, the choking sensation increasing, the nerves on edge and the tears all over the corners of your eyes, but you had to stand your ground. After so, so long… why, why, why, why?—

"I… I…" Jungkook seemed to be having trouble finding his voice, even though in his profession the words came melodiously and easily out of his mouth. If you turned to look at him, you might have noticed that his face went from happiness to anguish with the speed a bullet goes through a field, "I wanted to see you…"

He sounded so small. The five-foot-ten-plus man, who you're sure was almost a head and a half taller than you, might as well have been a badly wounded puppy behind you. You knew from the way he spoke that he was holding back tears, but you didn't let that sway you. He didn't deserve it.

"Who gave you the right to come here?"

You didn't let him answer, not knowing if he was even going to, tightening the lock on the door you were about to walk through at any moment, bile in your throat making you fear the fall as if you were at the top of a skyscraper.

"How the fuck did you even find me?"

"Well, I-"

"I don't fucking want to know!"

You cut him off, the dryness and venom in your voice making you tremble. You were so sad, so distraught and so angry at the same time.

"And I don't want to see you. So leave."

"Noona…"

"Fucking leave, Jeon, for fuck's sake!"

You moved, almost as if by inertia, opening the door and slamming it behind you, the noise so deafening that it echoed in your ears for several seconds until you heard Yuna's footsteps approaching you and felt her arms wrap around your body.

You didn't know what she was saying, you just leaned against the door and let yourself fall, your body shaking in cry after uncontrollable cry, truly wondering how everything had gone so far; wondering how, after so many years, you still allowed them to have that power over you; a power they didn't deserve and shouldn't have.

You felt shattered in that moment, every piece of you scattered in the hold, every moment of your life replaying on its glassy, sharp edges. Even with half of you staying afloat, Yuna held you until the tears stopped flowing and with renewed resolve you promised yourself that this was never going to happen again.

Jungkook had taken you by surprise, but from now on none of them would ever catch you off guard.

-

a/n: i dont really know what to think about this chap. sometimes i like it sometimes i dont. i guess thats just how it works. pls letme know what you think! thank u for all the support! <3

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[blueberri-blu]

Hi hi! I've been thinking about your prompt list so I thought screw it I'll put in my first ever ask lol, I thought #3 would fit bayverse Raph so well as a (light) angst to fluff confession?

I've never done this before so if I messed something up please disregard and have a great day/night ( ´∀`)

Of course!! I'd love to!

Horns 𓆩♡𓆪

[Bayverse] Raph x gn!reader

Prompt #3: "Why aren't you dating them?" "I'd probably destroy them" "They'd be into that"

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪

Raph's brothers were annoyed as fuck to be honest

You and their red clad brother have so much romantic tension it's unbearable

So, originally Mikey and Donnie got together to form a plan, they were going to try to leave you two in the lair, by yourselves, in hopes that you and Raph would work yourselves out.

However, Leo being... Leo, he stood nearby, listening, and occasionally giving ideas

But, they knew better, they knew they couldn't tell raph about their plan until the very last minute.

So... They went on

Secretly sneaking out to get things like fairy lights, your favorite movies on CDs, etc.

They noticed that Raph stocked up on your favorite foods and snacks in the lair already, so they saw this as an opportunity for Raph to show off how much he cares.

It was perfect. Their plan was immaculate, with Donnie confirming it had about an 85% success rate, with Mikey piping up that if it was more than 50, that's all the reassurance they needed

Their plan was starting to fall into place.

First, Mikey set up fairy lights in the living area, with the excuse of making it more homey.

Then, Donnie started fixing up their tv, giving it upgrades and such for better resolution and sound.

Then, Leo was in charge of making sure everyone would be out of the lair, so you and Raph wouldn't have any interruptions

Hell, even Master Splinter stepped in by making sure to get on Raph's case about making sure his room was clean.

Everything was ready.

Now... For the hardest part...

Getting Raph on board.

They decided that the best one to tell him was Mikey, seeing as he was closest to Raph.

And needless to say, Raph was... Upset

"The fuck do You mean "my chance" Mikey!?"

"well... You know, you two are already practically dating right? I mean, y'all almost kissed last movie night!" Mikey was... A bit nervous

"how 'bout, all of you stay the fuck out of my business!!"

"Oh c'mon big bro! We already texted y/n to come over and everything! You wouldn't wanna let 'em down riiiiight?"

Raph hated how all of his brothers adorned a smug grin, had an itch to punch it off their faces

It's not that raph didn't like you, he really did

But you were just so kind! Yet strong! And passionate,

You knew how to be calm, you could be kind to everyone,

He tried to convince himself that this was why he wouldn't ask you out, but in reality, he knew you liked him

You'd laugh at all of his jokes, grabbing his arm

You'd cuddle up to him on movie nights while looking at his lips, then his eyes

He almost lost himself last movie night, almost let you two kiss

But he pulled away last minute, and he could see your eyes fall from the rejection

"arggghh Mikey! Why d'y'all have to be so fuckin' nosy!"

"Raph! Why are you so upset! You like them, and they obviously like you!! What's got your panties in a twist bro!"

"Why aren't you dating them?"

"because..."

"I'd probably destroy them!"

"I'd probably be into that"

Raph froze, it was as if a glacier had fallen on his head

He couldn't believe it

How long had you been there? How much did you here? Why did you respond like that?

Mikey practically squealed, Donnie pumped his fist in the air in victory, and Leo still adorned that same smug grin

Raph turned around, finally facing you

You were blushing like crazy, yet you were looking up at him as if he was the best person in the world

His brothers decided to retreat, leaving you two alone in the lair under the fairly lights

Raph felt as if he had died and come back to life, only to get a heart attack, he was... Afraid, of what? He didn't know, but his heart was pounding in a way that you could hear it from outside of his plastron

"look... Raph... I don't want to force you or pressure you or anything of the sort, but... If you like me, I'd like to know why you don't want to date me? Please?"

"I ... I jus don't wanna hurt ya..."

"oh, Big Guy, it's ok... I really don't think you are capable of doing so... But arguments are normal in a relationship, it's just about working them out, together"

By now, Raph had one arm slinked around your waist

Raph whispered "I'd like that... y/n, I love you"

"aw, I love you too big guy" you whispered back

And you two closed the distance, starting off with soft pecks, which slowly turned into longer kisses

The night ended with you in his arms after watching your favorite movie, snacks littered the floor, and Raph taking in your features under the soft glow of the yellow lights.

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪

I really love this idea, I hadn't even thought of that! I was definitely debating between Raph and rottmnt Leo!

I hope you liked it! Please feel free to request again! Thank you so much for the ask, anon ^^

I live y'all <3

[mythicmanuscripts]

Omega!aemond trying to act tough in front of the public but as soon as the dominating scent of his future alpha hits him he’s just wandering around like a puppy trying to find the delicious scent, and when he does he just does anything to get alone with them so he can smell them more he’s just so addicted the pathetic boy

God I love omega!aemond so so so much!! Incredible thoughts anon.

As always, I've added a cut so that you guys who arent into this type of thing can scroll past easily. All of my a/b/o writing will be tagged with 'a/b/o hotd' so if you don't want to see it at all then block that tag.

So I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: despite the fact that Aemond is an omega, he really has no idea how to be an omega.

He trains his entire life to try and overcome his designation. He’s ashamed it, ashamed of being a male omega, ashamed of being the second son. He’s not well liked and he knows this, and he also knows that alphas aren’t exactly tripping over their own feet to get to him.

Any alphas that did show interest were so domineering and controlling that he immediately turned them all down. He resiles himself with just being alone and doing what’s expected of him.

Because of this, when you come to the red keep with family to discuss matters with the Targaryens and Aemond smells your scent in the corridors…. He has absolutely no idea what to do with himself.

He’s never liked an alpha’s scent, ever. Some were more manageable than others but he’s never actually liked it before. And now he’s smelling something that’s just utterly intoxicating and he has no idea who this person is and also has no idea what he’s supposed to be about this.

When he sits down at dinner and sees the guests, he immediately picks up the scent again and releases its you. He barely even says two words that whole dinner because he can’t keep his eyes off you and is trying to think of how he can approach you.

The biggest problem is that he really has no idea what to do now. He’s spent so much of his life trying to suppress his designation and so now that your scent has triggered him he just doesn’t know what to do. Most omegas know exactly how to dress and act when they’re interested in an alpha and needless to say, Aemond hadn’t given that one second of thought until he saw you.

He’s so quiet at dinner that Allicent even asks if something was wrong. He mealy choked while trying to tell her that everything

You notice him too of course, and not just because his reputation proceeds him but also because you got his his scent when he walked into dinner and you immediately loved it more than any other omega’s scent you’ve ever encountered.

He eventually manages to plot to get you in a room alone with him. The only issue is that once you’re in that room he realises he actually has no idea what to say to you. He never even thought that far.

You ask him what’s going on and he’s losing his mind because you smell so good and you’re standing right there and he doesn’t know what to don. After a bit of awkward silence you ask him why he wanted to talk with you. Again, he tries to answer but it’s like the human part of his brain has completely disappeared leaving only desperate horny omega.

For the first time he wishes he actually paid attention when the other omegas tried to rope him into watching romcoms and talking about his feelings. Maybe if he had listened to them than he’d know what to do here.

And of course you’re very respectful and you keep your distance and you wait for him to make the first move. He stands there looking at you, not knowing what to do now that he’s actually around you.

I think the best way to his heart might be to first just treat him kindly, but like any other person and not like an omega and especially not like an omega in line to the throne. You had seen him practicing his sword skills in the training yard the day before and so you ask him about it, about how long he’s been training and what his favourite styles are.

The conversation flows easily from there, and because Aemond is not at all used to how haywire his instincts are going right then, he keeps on drifting closer and closer to you? You try to subtly take steps back each time because Aemond has yet to show any romantic interests and you wouldn’t want to risk making him uncomfortable or getting your scent on him.

Aemond meanwhile hadn’t even noticed how he keeps on trying to get closer to you. If Aemond were more in tune with the omega side of him and didn’t spend his entire childhood blocking his ears every time someone spoke about courting and dynamics, then he’d probably realise he’s trying to get more of your scent and the back away because it’s considered improper. But the poor thing doesn’t even notice.

Eventually you’re literally backed up against the wall and you cannot move any further away and even then he only realises when his nose is just about against your neck. Of course he jumps back immediately and apologises, saying he doesn’t know what got into him and promising to never do that again.

If this were any other omega, you’d accept their apology and offer to continue a discussion in public with everyone there and then decide what the omega thinks of you. But this is not any omega. Based on what you’d heard before and what you’ve just seen, it’s clear to you that Aemond either wasn’t trained at all about courting or, what’s much more likely, that Aemond pushed his designation down and ignored all aspects of it.

As a result, when he’s faced with someone whose scent is addictive to him, he can’t control himself? He doesn’t even know what urges to expect nevermind what to do about them or what he should be doing instead. It’s like now the can of worms has been opened and there’s nothing he can do except make a fool of himself over and over again.

It’s because of this that you tell Aemond he doesn’t need to apologise. You say you enjoy talking to him and he can stand as close as he wants, can be as close to you as he wishes and that you’d be honoured with any level of attention from him.

You think this will make him relax and then you can continue talking in your won little bubble.

And well, you’re half right. He certainly does relax, but hearing you say he can be as close as he wants makes him immediately step closer and burry his nose in your neck.

For a moment you’re in complete shock, because this is against everything you’ve been taught. You’ll be fine, you’re an alpha. But Aemond? He’s going to walk out of the room smelling like another alpha and no one else will even look at him anymore.

Despite that, you can’t help but hug him back. You rub his back and be actually purrs?? You just keep hugging him, telling him it’s alright because you don’t want him to panic.

After that, he’s attached to your side at all times. Good luck speaking to any other omegas because you have a jealous dangerous omega with zero control over their instincts following you around at all times.

[rainybyday]

a question but also an idea dump

has there been a Kakashi time travel fic to his time in Team Minato and he's scared or overly cautious of Obito? Like I'v seen a couple where he is just either very nice to his team mates or he's going through trauma hell to be very jumpy over everything. But like, is there one where he is just kind of fresh out of the war or during the fourth war and the first thing he wakes up to is his old team?

Minato which, while dead, he still saw and had some sort of closure with him

Rin, depending on when he traveled back, is a girl he spent years regretting her death but understood through years of friends helping him that she made that choice, or saw her ghost, and is stable now of his feelings about her

Obito on the other hand? Obito who he despaired for years, who he based his personality and character on, who turned out to be the killer of his second family, who hurt his village and friends, who started a world with the world, who wanted him to essentially kill him (the same way he did with Rin), and if we go further, who died after he saved his students when Kakashi was willing to be that sacrifices instead.

Honestly, I think he would have fresher newer trauma from Obito all over again. I think Kakashi would have spiraled if Obito lived after the war, yes maybe he will forgive him or whatnot but you can't tell me he wouldn't have some sort of complicated resentment for all that he did and the impact it had in some sort of twisted way in his life. Kakashi is a shinobi, he is an adult, he has trauma. He will not just feel one type of emotion for other people because he himself knows to see the world in a shades of gray. But emotions are a funny think and they take time to react and mask them.

So imagine Kakashi back to his younger days and the first thing he sees is Obito yelling at him, getting angry at him, blaming him

You know what most people talk about when it comes to trauma? Flashbacks. But for Kakashi, he's flashback was real and staring right back at him.

He will attack Obito, maybe run, maybe keep fighting him, to kill or defend himself? I don't know, you usually don't know when you are faced with the face of your trauma yelling right in your face when you are at your most vulnerable.

Needless to say, Team Minato is very concerned for their youngest.

[kenobers]

just read your Obi-Wan mafia story...What about a Jason Todd mafia au 👀

ngl i think about this a lot bc one thing about me is that i love a good mafia au (not in a dark romance way) and i'm surprised they aren't more common in jason todd-batfam spheres. but i've specifically been thinking about the incredibly niche arranged marriage subgenre of mafia fics and jason quite a bit lately

Like always, Wayne is a prominent name in Gotham, but they're just as prominent in the criminal underworld as they are in high society. Instead of a fearsome vigilante, the Batman is an elusive mafia Don that only a few outside of the underworld know is really Bruce Wayne.

Your parents are District Attorneys working under the table for Maroni, a rival of the Batman. Maroni brings up your name to Bruce while discussing potential ways to marry their two families in an alliance. After all, Maroni has no daughters of his own and marrying you to one of Bruce's wayward boys would ensure your parents stay under his thumb. The idea of an arranged marriage is a little old fashioned to Bruce, but he thinks it might help rein in Jason, the most unruly of his sons.

So without getting much of a say, you and Jason get hitched. Needless to say neither of you are happy about the situation, but Jason's got a lot more attitude about it. He's cold, he's mean, he's scary. He's the most mysterious Wayne child, both in the crime world and regular society. So all you've heard about Jason is that he's violent.

Thankfully, he never seems to be home enough to prove whether or not that's true. When he is home, he hardly talks to you unless it's absolutely necessary or you're in his way.

At first you try to remedy the stiffness. You try making dinner, reading books from his shelf, asking if he wants to watch a show together, inviting him out with your friends. You know this isn't a marriage of love, but that doesn't mean you have to be enemies. It's nice to have a friend. However, he's stubborn. The more he ignores or sneers at your attempt, the more miserable it makes you. He looks at you like this is all your fault, like he's comparing you to the hook-ups you're sure he's having. It all just makes you feel like complete shit. After a few weeks, you just start glaring back.

It's frustrating. It's frustrating to have a moody husband that doesn't want anything to do with you. It's even more frustrating when you through in the whole mob situation on top of that. Of course you had your suspicions about your parents connections. Of course you already knew to look over your shoulder, to not say anything. But at least you didn't have to know anything.

You're not supposed to ask when Jason comes home with blood on his hands, but you always know what it's from. You know what the unlabeled packages hidden in your bathroom are. You know which cops to call if Jason gets arrested. You know which important figures are being paid off, which ones are secretly in the Family; including your father-in-law because on top of all this, you also have to be a Wayne now.

You can't see your friends as much because you might accidentally blab to them (and you're too paranoid to risk getting any of them in trouble). You can't explain to them why you married Bruce Wayne's son out of nowhere. You can't even talk about Jason to the friends that stuck around after your big 'reveal' was received as a slap in the face to your entire friend system. You just had to lie that you'd been keeping you 'relationship' with him a secret. You've been "asked" not to work until the powers that be are absolutely positive you can be trusted. Although you have a sinking suspicion that it's just a ploy to turn you into a housewife. It feels like there's always someone watching you, making sure you're behaving and keeping quiet.

All this for a husband who frankly couldn't give a fuck about you.

Maybe you should be glad that Jason ignores you. You've heard the stories about mob wives. You know that he could be worse. You'd rather have a husband that can't stand to touch you than one who puts his hands on you.

But still.

It's lonely.

At least Jason's siblings are nice. Dick's made it a habit to check-in on you and Jason once a week. Mostly on you, you think. Since he mostly swings by when Jason's out of the apartment. Dick is good company. He's easy to get along with, appreciates your cooking and is sympathetic to your struggle with being thrust head first into this life. But he never stays for long and he always looks at you with so much pity. Even if he is interested in getting to know his sister-in-law, you both know he's really here because he knows his brother is a jerk.

Once he let it slip to the other siblings that you make bomb cookies, they start showing up unannounced every now and then. They're weird, but they're fun. You would make more of an effort to form an actual friendship with them if you didn't think it would lead to arguments with Jason. You're not willing to risk your peace, even if it's miserable.

Still, you let yourself feel some satisfaction at the way Jason's temple throbs every time he comes home to find Tim and Duke have accidentally gotten sucked into whatever you're watching.

Months of marriage purgatory come to a head when Jason comes home in the middle of the night to find you drunk off your ass. It's your friend's birthday. You haven't spoken to her since your engagement to Jason was announced. If you had to guess, she probably didn't feel like she could trust you after you had to make everyone think that you just casually hid a serious relationship. She probably assumed you just didn't trust her. You sent her a 'happy birthday, I miss you' message, only to realize you'd been blocked. Which stung more than any bitch face Jason could ever make at you.

So you celebrate her birthday with a bottle of gin. Fuck it, no one's here to judge you. Until your meanass, killjoy excuse of a husband interrupts you by having the audacity to come home. Jason discovers you hunkered down on the couch, lips to bottle, scrolling pathetically through old pictures from when you actually had a life.

Jason rolls his eyes at the sight. He probably would've just gone to bed and left you to your own devices, but the contents of that gin bottle have been utterly depleted since he poured himself a glass last night. He's not about to risk waking up to see you've choked to death on your own vomit. Dick would never let him hear the end of it.

So instead he scoffs and chastises you, subtly trying to get you to explain why you're plastered without making it seem like he cares. He's expecting some swallow, 'whoopsie-daisies' response, but instead he accidentally opens up your floodgates.

You tell him all about your friends, how this marriage destroyed your life, how lonely you are. That...That strikes a nerve for Jason. He's been so frustrated with suddenly having to share his space with a stranger, that he hadn't stopped to think about how much of an actual change this was for you. To be roped into the mafia, of all fucking things.

"...This must all be so terrifying for you," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. You look at him with sad eyes, glazed over with gin and dark with exhaustion.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Jason will never forgive himself for the fact that this is the first real connection the two of you have shared this entire time. He feels even shitty that it took him seeing you like this to decide to be nicer to you.

He isn't sold on being a husband yet, but he supposes he knows a thing or two about being a friend. And maybe it would benefit him if you knew a thing or two about being in the mafia. He would feel better about leaving you alone at home if he was confident in your ability to handle a piece.

He can't fix everything overnight, but this...this is a start.

[5iyoomi]

How The Haikyuu Boys Kiss You ━ Part 2

characters: Sugawara, Shirabu, Semi, Akaashi

warnings: all fluff with a touch of hurt/comfort in Sugawara's 🙏 gender neutral reader here as well

A/N: I'm totally not procrastinating making my masterlists (I don't have much on here yet so it's fine right? right.) but anyways I've had so many ideas lately which is crazy cuz almost all of what I usually write is like mlm x characters. I barely touch x readers myself but I love reading em'. Making a blog in the middle of a deep hyperfixation will do wonders like that cuz I've been writing smth practically every day LOL.... sorry if this one's shorter/sorta all over the place

Part 1 | Word Count: 1,170

‎

Sugawara Koushi

His kisses are definitely short and sweet (like Hinata) but they're passionate

He's probably the most experienced of the boys or at least comes off that way, he knows what to do and how to do it

He's pretty feather-light with his touches, so much so that you don't even register they're there half the time

But you like how they ground you in the moment

Sugawara's also the kind of guy to kiss your tears away, relishing in how your eyelashes flutter while he flashes you a comforting smile that he saves for you in your more vulnerable moments

"Everything's gonna be alright, okay? I'm here for you"

He'll usually kiss you when you least expect it, rambling on about something you're interested in or something before he leans in

Your words get caught in your throat when he does, but he doesn't let it linger, so you're just left blinking in surprise with a visible question mark floating over the top of your head

He must be able to tell cuz he laughs a little

It leaves you wanting more, so he never complains if you ask for another or take the initiative and give him one right back

He has a tendency to place his hand atop yours or on your knee/thigh when you kiss

He also likes when you kiss his cheek, right where his birthmark is. It tickles since it's by his eye, but it makes him feel closer to you

Sweet but super shameless, if somebody sees you and you get fidgety he'll tell you there's nothing to be embarrassed about

"So? It's fine if people talk. We're dating, aren't we?"

Needless to say you stopped caring so much after that

Shirabu Kenjirou

ANOTHER UNDERRATED KING

"He's mean/annoying" DON'T EVEN JOKE LAD

Anyways....

He's not allergic to PDA but he won't entertain it at first

Like at all

It's not cuz he doesn't want to, but he gets really shy about it

As his first partner, you're naturally his first kiss too, so he has no idea what he's doing

He's scared you'll make fun of him, so when the perfect moment arises and he turns his head at the last second, you have to face him and tell him that his inexperience doesn't matter to you

You won't laugh or poke fun at him, you respect his feelings and always will

He's less apprehensive if it's also your first, but it's still a hurdle you have to overcome

He's probably a little blunt especially when it comes to affection, he says the exact opposite of what he means 80% of the time

"I can do it myself" = he wants help but doesn't know how to ask for it

"I know that, idiot" = he's silently thankful you didn't brush him aside, that you looked past that composed facade he puts on sometimes and brought him out of it

Once that's out of the way and he feels like he can be more open with what he wants, he recloses the distance between you

It's messy and stilted, but neither of you mind. He just wants to be near you

He's so touch starved it's insane, you'll hold his hand or touch his face and he literally freezes up

If you didn't know any better, you'd think it was because he didn't like it, but you know he wants to, he's just really awkward. He has a lot of difficulty with asking for physical touch

Did I mention touch starved?

He pushes away from you if somebody sees, even if you guys aren't kissing

"You didn't see anything" he says to whoever it is, and you chuckle, ruffling his hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead

You can see his brain short-circuit in real time when you do :>

Semi Eita

Tendou would absolutely tease him for it but he has the biggest soft spot for you

You'd be at one of their games holding up a sign with his name on it or cheering the loudest for him and Tendou makes a mental note to mess with Semi later (much to the shorter boy's dismay)

Tendou's a MENACE

But anyway

His kisses are pretty similar to Sugawara's, but they last for longer

Light, passionate kisses with his hands on your lower back or two fingers gently tilting your chin up if you're shorter than him

They might get deeper, they might not. It just depends on how you react and how he's feeling (he never wants to accidentally push you into anything)

But once he's got you, he doesn't wanna let you go

He gives them out sparingly, more of a words of affirmation person, but he likes how much you smile against him when he does

He's surprisingly pretty doting on his partner, so if you grab his wrist when he moves to catch his breath, 9 times out of 10 he'll yield to your touch

"Not yet..." oh BOY he's whipped. He'd only say no if you both actually had to be somewhere or he starts to get sick of the stares thrown his way that are mostly from Tendou and Shirabu

He has you wrapped around his finger just as much as you've got him wrapped around yours

If he isn't kissing you on your lips, then he'll bring your hand to his mouth and kiss your knuckles/fingers

It reminds you of a prince from one of those old fairy tales <3

Akaashi Keiji

When it comes down to initiation with him, it's kinda 50/50

Akaashi's the kind of person to get explicit consent before doing anything and on top of that he can read people pretty easily, especially people he knows well

So if he senses any apprehension he'll stop or give you a quick peck on your cheek instead

But if you lean into him, lips puckered and a wordless plea in your eyes, he doesn't have any reason to refuse

(On the flip side, I don't think he minds random kisses or hugs from you, but he appreciates if you ask too)

His kisses are soft and loving, the kind that leave you feeling warm and floaty for a few minutes afterwards

They're always purposeful too, kisses after an accomplishment or during one of your dates

But sometimes he does just wanna kiss you cuz you look pretty/handsome

Your lips curl up, eyes lightly squinted in a display of happiness as you look at him like he's as beautiful as the stars

And it's then that he gets that urge

He's more embarrassed about being seen or walked in on. He probably wouldn't wanna keep going, so most of your kisses in public are short (but still equally sweet)

He keeps his hands above your shoulders, or he holds your own, giving them the occasional gentle squeeze

He swipes a thumb across your cheek and presses a parting kiss to the corner of your mouth, bright eyes saying more than he ever could

He loves you, he really does

[munsonsmixtapes]

Hiiii!!!!!

I seen your post looking for logan requests..

maybe a insecure reader.. Logan walks in and reader is fussing/upset about her looks.. maybe someone said something? (Best?) friends to lovers or already established relationship writers choice 🥰

Logan Howlett x fem!reader

cw: body insecurity, hurt/comfort

You stood in front of the mirror in nothing but your underwear. You were about to get dressed for your date with Logan, but you had gotten distracted by your reflection on your way to your closet to pick out the dress you were going to wear to dinner.

You had put on some weight since you had gotten with Logan, finally feeling comfortable in your body, but now you weren’t so sure that you looked good. He was always so complimentary of you, and you knew that he would never lie, but you weren’t sure you believed him anymore.

You took some of the skin on your stomach between your fingers and made a grimace as looked at it, letting it fall back into place. Tears rolled down your cheeks and you desperately tried to wipe them away without ruining the make up you had spent a long time on.

There was a knock at the door and you were quick to wipe your tears away as Logan stepped into the room. He was already dressed and had been waiting patiently for you to get ready.

"Wow," was the only thing that came out of his mouth. "With you looking like that, I'm not sure we're going to make it to the restaurant," he smiled, pulling you into his arms. He went in for a kiss, but you just turned your head, pushing his arms away from you.

"What's going on? Are you okay, hon?" He asked, his hand reaching up to stroke your hair.

"Nothing, Logan," you shook your head. "I'm fine."

"Alright," he sighed. "But if you want to talk, I'll be right here."

He sat on the end of the bed while you moved back to the mirror, turning to the side while sucking in your stomach. Logan felt his heart break as he watched you, suddenly realizing what was going on. You had been distant lately and not he understood why. You weren't feeling comfortable in your body and that was why you were pushing him away.

He stood up from the bed and moved to stand behind you. His head rested on your shoulder as his hands slowly rested on your stomach, looking at your reflection for permission. You nodded and his rough fingers settled on your stomach as you tried your best not to squirm.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said softly and you let out a sigh.

"I've put on weight." Your voice was soft, so low that he could barely hear you.

"I don't see a problem with that." And he didn't. He would have loved you no matter what you looked like. And just because you weighed a little more made no difference to Logan.

"You don't?" You turned to him and he just smiled as his eyes locked on yours. You felt like you were going to melt as he stared at you, nothing but warmth in his green eyes, his smile making your knees weak.

"Not at all. You look beautiful, honey. I promise. We don't have to go to dinner if you don't want to. I have plenty of ideas of what he can get up to right here," he smirked then lowered himself down onto his knees.

He pressed kisses to your stomach, murmuring compliments as he did so. You felt yourself tearing up again as you thought about how lucky you were to have him. He was so sweet and gentle, always there to give you exactly what you needed when you needed it.

Needless to say that you never made it to the restaurant that night, spending the rest of the night tangles up in the sheets as Logan showed you just how much he loved you.

[freelancearsonist]

Whole

Steve Harrington x fem!Reader

Rated MA for the most long-winded poetic smut i've ever written jfc 🤦‍♀️ slow burn fluff with a couple sprinkles of angst for flavor, reader uses fem pronouns and is described as having female parts, it's dirty y'all but at least they use protection

7,470 Words

A/N: you all know my mo by now i disappear for a year and then come back and lay down some god damned PORN. this fic is no exception to the rule. @shakespeareanwannabe requested this back in july and she literally just asked for a cute moment between steve and dustin, sorry you got 6k words more than you bargained for 😂 but also thank you for betaing and the constant validation you're the best ily 🖤

Steve’s not sure how it even worked.

He can still remember the look on Robin’s face when you agreed, how she was speechless for almost ten minutes because she couldn’t process what had just happened.

Steve’s reaction was about the same as hers, in all honesty. He’s gotten so used to striking out that asking people out has become something of a game to him. He knows he’ll get a no, and he knows Robin will laugh her ass off at him. But what can he say? He likes putting a smile on his best friend’s face.

Needless to say, you’ve shaken him. In the best possible way. Because your answer was three letters instead of two.

And now, he's a little bit in over his head.

Or, to be more accurate, a lot in over his head.

It seems like it’s been ages since he’s gone on a date, even though it’s only been a few months at most. He feels lost, like he’s completely unlearned everything he ever knew about girls.

He hates it, despises it with every fiber of his own being, but he also knows it’s true; he needs advice. And although he’ll never admit it to the little shithead’s face, there’s no one better he can think of going to than his very own protege. Who better to remind him of his own prowess than the person who learned everything they know from him?

One look at Dustin’s smug little face and Steve almost regrets it. Almost.

“Just can’t stay away, can you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve rolls his eyes and gives the younger boy a little shove, camouflaging it with an affectionate pat on the back. “This is strictly business, Henderson.”

“Oh, is it now?” The younger boy’s voice takes on a smug tone as he folds his fingers together and leans back in his chair. “Well then, why don’t you have a seat? Step into my office.”

Steve rolls his eyes and slides into the booth, shooting a smile and a “thank you” to the kind waitress who delivers two milkshakes to their table.

Dustin takes his time and makes a meal of unwrapping his straw, feeding off of Steve’s clear impatience Steve’s fingers tap against the table, reminding himself that patience is necessary when you come to someone for a favor. It’s just that it’s Dustin, and Dustin knows exactly how to get under the older boy’s skin in the most annoying-yet-oddly-endearing fashion.

“So…” Dustin finally says after a lengthy sip of strawberry milkshake. “What brings you so humbly to me?”

“I’ve got a date.”

And Dustin, the little bastard–he laughs. A deep, rumbling belly laugh, so pure and unfiltered that the three other occupied tables in the diner pause their conversations to get a look at the boy clutching his sides.

Steve’s a little embarrassed by the attention, but even more embarrassed that Dustin’s reaction is so genuine. The fact that the idea of him having a date is so laughable is a bit of a punch to the gut. It hasn’t really been that long, has it?

When Dustin’s laughter finally dies down he realizes Steve’s face is completely serious, and it makes him giggle even more.

“Wait, you’re actually serious? Who on earth did you manage to pull?”

Steve’s nearly bashful as he says your name, and even more bashful when Dustin’s jaw visibly drops.

“No fucking way. I’d believe anyone else, but her? She’s like… hotter than Phoebe Cates. There’s no way you wouldn’t strike out with her.”

Steve’s immediately on the defensive. Is it really so hard to believe that he, former king of Hawkins High, could pull the most gorgeous girl in town?

But that’s just it. There’s really no one like you, not in his eyes. He’s admired you since freshman year and never once even tried with you because he knew he wasn’t worthy. You were always in the background–a beautiful, kind, smart, funny girl just out of his reach. Part of the reason he even asked you out was because he was so sure he would strike out. In the end, losing his confidence was exactly what he needed to pull the girl of his dreams.

And that’s why there’s so much riding on this. You’ve always been his biggest “what if”, the girl he wonders about when thinking that maybe not trying has been holding him back. And apparently, it has.

“Look, I don’t even know how it happened, okay? But she said yes, and… and I really don’t want to blow it.”

“Well duh. You’ll have to leave town if you blow it with her, you know that, right? If she doesn’t think you’re worth it, no one else in this town ever will again.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of!” Steve groans, slouching down so far in the booth that Dustin can just barely see his poor, overwhelmed face.

“Steve, listen…” Dustin’s voice takes on an almost fatherly quality, an omniscient tone that gives off the illusion of great hidden knowledge. He gets like this sometimes, and Steve’s not always sure that it is just an illusion. “Don’t let this go to your head, but you’re, like, one of the coolest guys I know. If she doesn’t like you… that’s her problem, not yours. Okay?”

Steve straightens in his seat, a little shocked to hear such kind words from a friend that he’s used to being mercilessly teased by.

“No, no, no, it’s going to your head. I take it all back. Forget I said anything.” Dustin’s hearty giggle makes Steve smile as he sets a wad of bills on the table and slides out of the booth.

“You’re not so bad Henderson, you know that?” He gives the younger boy’s full head of curls an affectionate ruffle. “Thanks, kid. I’ll radio later.”

Not that Steve didn’t have total faith in his young protege, but it’s still a relief that the pep talk turned out to be exactly what he needed to hear. Dustin’s right, after all. Steve’s worked hard to become the man he’s always wanted to be. He may not be dripping charisma or sex appeal the way he used to, but he’s much more comfortable in his own skin. That’s what counts, right?

And you really are his dream girl. The opportunity to take you out tonight, even if it ends up being your first and only date together, is an honor. He’s much less focused now on all the ways he could screw up, hyper-fixated on putting the effort in to make this the best night of your life.

That effort comes out in the carefully selected suit jacket he dons over his white button-up, the extra spritz of cologne, the careful touch-up shave to vanquish his five o’clock shadow, the extra ten minutes using the perfect amount of product in his hair so that it stays in place yet is still soft to the touch.

By the time he gets to Enzo’s (half an hour early, mind), he’s practically vibrating with nerves and anticipation. He’s never been much of an overthinker, but he sure is tonight. Is this place too much for the first date? Would you rather do something lowkey, like catch a movie or go for a walk in the park? He has to remind himself a couple of times that you agreed to this, that you wouldn’t have said yes if you weren’t interested in the arrangement.

To say he’s prepared for this is putting it lightly. He’s run through every possible scenario in his mind, gone over conversation starters and questions he wants to ask you over and over again until he knows exactly how he wants to phrase each thing.

And still, nothing could prepare him for when you walk through the door.

He has to physically restrain his jaw from dropping because in the moment he sees you, every well-planned thought and all etiquette is flushed down the proverbial pipes. You’re nothing short of breathtaking in a dress that hugs all the right curves and shows just enough cleavage to have him imagining what else there might be to see. Your hair is pinned back out of your face, eyes framed by just the slightest bit of makeup to make the color of your irises pop. He swears he’s never seen a shade quite like them. It’s like you move in slow motion as you approach him–he sees the entrance of the smoking hot love interest in every romantic comedy, complete with smoke and fireworks, as you move towards the table.

And then some sense of decorum returns to his addled brain, and he quickly shoots up so he can pull out your chair for you like a proper gentleman. He catches just the slightest whiff of your perfume, and he’s a goner. He’s ready to sign his life away to you, to yank his own heart out of his chest to offer to your careful hands.

He has to give his head a shake to compose himself before he goes any further off the deep end. No one’s ever thoroughly shaken him the way you have, and it’s been a matter of thirty seconds. It’s almost intimidating, the effect you have on him.

“You look… incredible,” he fumbles as he takes his seat across from you. “I mean, you always do, but… wow.”

The shy giggle you emit tugs at a heartstring he didn’t even know he had.

“Thank you,” you tell him with a genuine smile. “You clean up very well yourself.”

“I do like to put in some effort every once in a while.” He flashes the most charming smile he can muster, and just like that he’s back. His resolve to impress you is reinforced tenfold. You’ve shaken him, and it’s such an unfamiliar feeling that he’s practically bumbling. He wants to shake you just as badly.

The food’s delicious, and the conversation’s even better. He has a track record for taking out a more–for lack of a better term–bimbo-y type, and that’s definitely not you. You’re smart, you’re witty, but you don’t make him feel like an idiot. He’s so taken with you that he doesn’t even notice that three hours have passed until he looks around the room and notices that every table is now empty and bussed.

The waiter delivers the check, and Steve notices you gnawing on your lip.

“What’s on your mind?” He asks, trying not to be too prying.

“I don’t want this to be over yet.”

Steve smiles. He’s got you; hook, line, and sinker. He’s never been so sure of anything, and that surprises him. He’s used to dates who are easy to read and even easier to take home, and those aren’t the impressions you’ve been giving him. To know that you’re feeling exactly what he’s feeling is a huge confidence boost.

“I don’t either.”

Your hand is so small compared to his. That’s all he can think about as he strolls next to you, his fingers intertwined with yours. He’s always considered hand-holding to be child’s play, it’s never excited him before the way it does in this moment with you.

It’s pitch black in the park and he can hear the overlapping chirping of summer cicadas and grasshoppers, the perfect background noise now that the conversation has died down. It’s less about getting to know each other at this point and more just basking in each other’s presence, prolonging the inevitable because neither one of you can bear to call it a night when it’s been such a good few hours.

You’re shocked, to say the very least. Steve certainly has a reputation, and it’s not for being a romantic. Yet everything tonight has flown in the face of all the rumors you’ve been hearing since junior high. You figured he’d be a fun fling, and probably only one night at that–you’d made your peace with the idea. To find that he’s kind, considerate, funny, and can match your intellect and quick wit… it’s a very pleasant surprise. And that’s what has you out well past a decent hour, giddy over simply holding his hand like you’re a damned school girl all over again.

“I should probably let you go home,” Steve sighs wistfully. He hates to be the one to bring it up, but you’re on your fifth lap around the park and about to circle back to where your car is parked so now seems the best time.

You’re chewing your lip again, a thoughtful habit that makes his heart pound just a little bit harder.

Here’s the thing: you’re really not the bold type. You act confident, sure, but in practice it’s a lot more difficult for you. So no one’s more surprised than you are when you say, “You could come home with me. If you want.”

Steve’s definitely shocked, too. Less shocked at your proposition and more at the fact that he’s tempted to decline. Because no matter how much he’s been running through the back of his mind what you might look like under that gorgeous dress, he doesn’t want this to end there. For the first time in his life, he wants to find more meaning than sex out of a relationship. He doesn’t want to take you home and never see you again. He wants to take you out again, and again, and again, and again after that. He sees a future, for once, that doesn’t look dim and hopeless. That fact alone scares the shit out of him.

He realizes he’s waited way too long to reply and fumbles for an answer. “Of course I want to. I’d be an idiot not to. But…”

You chew that cursed bottom lip of yours again, and Steve has to focus on the obvious cue you’re giving him rather than the fact that he wants to be the next set of teeth around that lip.

He stops in his tracks, gently pulling on your hand to face him so he can take your other hand in his free one. “It’s not a bad but. I mean, I’m going to go home kicking myself for saying no because I really honestly do want to… well, y’know. But… I want to do this right with you. I want to take you out again. I want to get to know you and see where this goes. I can’t… I don’t want this to end tonight.”

He’s eternally grateful for how dark it is as he feels a flush consume his face. He can’t remember a time he’s been so honest and open, especially on a first date; but the look on your face tells him he’s done something right.

“Okay,” you tell him, squeezing his hands in yours. “You… honestly have no clue how nice it is to hear that.”

“Of course,” he continues, “if you just want me for my body, no hard feelings.”

You laugh at that, genuinely laugh, and Steve thinks it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

“No,” you reassure him. “No, I… I wanna see where this goes, too.”

You’re stopped only a few paces from your car, and Steve knows with a twist of his gut that this is the end of the night. It makes his gut turn with disappointment, but also with anticipation of when he’ll see you next. Already, his mind is flooding with ideas of where he can take you and what you’ll do together.

You drop one of his hands so you can walk but keep a tight grip on the other until you get to your driver’s side door, hesitating outside because you’re still not ready for this to be over. It takes every ounce of restraint he has not to kiss you, unsure of if that would be moving too fast.

Thankfully, you make the call yourself. Leaning up on your toes, hands against his chest for balance, you press your lips against his and he has to summon every mite of strength not to moan. No one’s ever tasted so sweet, molded against him so perfectly. His hands drift from your shoulders down your arms, coming to rest on your waist as he pulls you just a little bit closer. It’s a fight of will not to overstep, to break off the kiss before it can become too heated. His mind is spinning by the time you break away. He’s aching for more, and he hopes you are too. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, Steve.”

Your sweet voice replays in his mind all night, long after you’ve gotten into your car and driven away, long after he’s returned to his own vehicle and pulled the radio out from under the driver’s seat to check in with Dustin, long after he arrives home and soaks in a cold shower for longer than he probably should. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get your voice out of his head, and he couldn’t be any less upset about it.

He practically counts down the minutes until he sees you again. This time, he has a little less restraint. He greets you with a kiss–a sweet peck and a hand on your waist that leaves you aching for even more.

It’s a movie this time, a chance to enjoy each other’s company on a night you’re both too tired from working to engage in heavy conversation and getting to know each other further.

It starts with sharing popcorn, then holding hands, then somewhere along the way the film is completely forgotten in favor of your lips meeting his. His breath grows heavy as his hands hold your face, committing you to memory while resisting the urge to explore further. Your hands, meanwhile, are firmly on his thighs, gripping tightly to keep yourself steady as you do everything you can to keep yourself from crawling into his lap.

He whispers your name, and your grip on him tightens.

“W-we shouldn’t…” he murmurs, then gives up on the futile attempt at finishing his sentence so that he can pull you even deeper into the kiss as his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip.

It takes everything in him not to moan when your lips eagerly part to accept him.

Needless to say, once the credits start rolling you’re both more than a little hot under the collar.

“Let me buy you dinner,” Steve suggests as he woefully unwinds himself from you. Declining doesn’t even flicker through your mind as a possibility.

It’s not Enzo’s this time, but it doesn’t have to be. He could set a soggy peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of you at this point and you’d still thank him for it. This time around, you’re not really as interested in the cuisine as you are just simply getting through this meal to what’s next. Because what’s next is all you’ve been thinking about since you walked through the doors the night of that very first date and saw Steve Harrington wearing a blazer for you. It’s a level of effort he’s definitely not known for–in fact, he’s built a reputation for putting in so little effort that it nearly made your jaw drop to see him trying. And it certainly made your heart skip a beat.

But then again, the Steve before you carelessly wolfing down his bacon cheeseburger seems very different from the Steve you knew in high school, even if you didn’t know that iteration as intimately as this one. That one was cool, collected, snarky and pompous and maddeningly desirable.

This Steve, your Steve, is nearly an exact foil. Much less cocky, a little less confident but more self-assured in the ways that actually hold meaning, less worried about what the people around him are observing of him than what you’re observing of him. He seems happier, more carefree, more eager to please others than simply himself. He’s grown so much in such a short amount of time, and you feel proud just for having the honor to witness it. Significantly more proud to be on the receiving end of his affections now that they hold the kind of value you’ve always wished they would.

He looks up and notices you staring at him while lost in thought, a small smile spreading across his lips as your eyes quickly dart away.

“What’s on your mind?” He questions as he licks a stray bit of ketchup from his thumb.

“Just… happy I’m here. With you.” It brings heat to your cheeks to admit it, but you don’t want him to go unappreciated in this moment.

It’s the right thing to say, because his smile grows even wider. “I’m happy too,” he admits. “I… I’ve wanted to ask you out for a while. Could never work up the courage, I guess.”

“Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington was intimidated by me?” You say it with a mock gasp, but your shock is more genuine than you give off. Never in a million years would you have thought that he, the man who could have whoever he wanted, would be worried over you saying no to him. It’s almost comical, especially considering the way you practically threw yourself at him on your first date. Of course then, you had no clue how much he’d developed as a person. You’re almost ashamed of your behavior now, as if you might’ve inadvertently been taking advantage of the new and improved Steve who isn’t just into you for a hookup.

He shrugs, nearly bashful at your teasing. “Never figured I was good enough for you. So I didn’t bother to try.”

You’re genuinely curious now, leaning in a little closer and brushing your fingers against his hand resting atop the diner counter. “What made you change your mind?”

“Honestly? I was so sure you’d say no that I asked just to give Robin a chuckle. She loves watching me get shot down.”

That makes you frown, and he’s quick to backtrack. “I wanted to! I just… I’ve had a bad track record lately. And you’re… you’re you. You’re the last person I should be worthy of.”

His eyes are quick to avert from your gaze, bottom lip tugged between his teeth as he contemplates whether he’s said too much.

“Steve…” you properly grab his hand now in the hopes that it’ll bring his eyes back to you, and it works. “You’re the only person I’ve deemed worthy in a long time, honestly.”

Steve Harrington is scaldingly warm. It’s one of many sensations forcing your mind into overdrive as he lays you delicately across the backseat of his beemer, one hand cushioning the back of your head while simultaneously deepening the already heated kiss and the other balancing his weight to lean over you in the cramped space without completely crushing you.

Your fingers tangle themselves into his soft brown locks, tugging ever-so-slightly as his tongue slips between your parted lips. He’s an eager explorer and you’re more than happy to let him take the lead, to show you all the skill you’ve heard so many whispers about.

You let out an involuntary moan as he wedges himself even closer to you, his body heat soaking through all the layers of clothing between the two of you and warming you all the way to your very bones.

You’re practically aching, ready to beg, and he knows it the second you wrap your legs around his waist in an attempt to get him even closer. If there’s one thing Steve Harrington’s good at, it’s assessing your needs. He pulls away just the slightest bit to adjust his position so he can get closer, wedging a knee between your legs to press right against your core, and it makes you jolt back against the car door at the same time his head hits the roof just a bit too hard.

You both pause for a moment, the reality of your situation hitting you simultaneously, and then you’re laughing. It’s light and edged with unresolved want, but it’s enough to fracture the tension of the moment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Shouldn’t have gotten so carried away. This isn’t how I want to do this.”

“No?”

“No. You deserve way better than this old beater,” he chuckles, then leans down to kiss you. This kiss is lighter, no longer edged with tension and lust. He kisses you just to kiss you–there’s no end goal to it this time.

“What could be better than a BMW?” You tease lightly, trying to reassure him that you’re less disappointed than you really feel.

“You know. Something romantic. A proper bed, rose petals, maybe a few candles…”

“I don’t need all that,” you try to tell him.

“I think I do,” he admits. And that’s enough to pull you back, to remind you that you need to be patient and grateful that he values you so much as to want to do this whole thing properly. That his affection is something to be cherished, not taken for granted.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I didn’t mean to be pushy.”

“Please don’t apologize.” He hesitates to untangle himself from you, even though he knows he needs to. “I want this just as bad. I just… I need it to be right.”

“As long as I have you, it’ll be right,” you reassure. “I hope you know that.”

He presses his lips to yours again, a slow and passionate kiss that he hopes communicates every bit of adoration he feels for you in this moment.

“It’ll be perfect. I swear,” he vows. You’ve never believed anything more whole-heartedly than you do this promise. 

~~~

“Wait, you’re telling me that you literally had her under you and you stopped?” Robin’s halfway through chewing a mouthful of popcorn and the absolute carnage inside her agape mouth makes Steve give her a light shove.

“It’s not polite to talk with your mouth full, y’know.”

“It’s not polite to blue-ball either!” She shoots back in utter disbelief.

“How do you think I felt? I was this close,” he holds his thumb and index finger barely millimeters apart, “to sealing the deal.”

She just shakes her head. “You, Steve Harrington, are a genuine, bonafide idiot.”

She’s not telling him anything he doesn’t know. It’s been three days since the aborted fling in the backseat of his car, and he’s barely thought of anything else. Especially since you’ve been away from home both of the past nights when he’s called. He’s starting to worry you’ve gotten the wrong impression, that he’s not interested or that he’s toying with you. It’s the exact opposite. He wants nothing more than to know you in the most intimate way he can know you. But he needs it to be flawless. He needs it to be well thought-out and precisely planned, the most romantic event in the history of copulation. He won’t settle for anything less, not with you. You deserve perfection, and he won’t give you anything less.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he tries to explain. “I want to more than anything. But if you’re gonna go to town on a goddess, you need to do some worshiping, y’know? I don’t feel like I’ve done enough.”

Your heart pounds in your chest as you hear this admission. You weren’t sure what to expect–worried that maybe visiting him at work was an overstep–but hearing him call you a goddess certainly wasn’t on your radar.

“You’ve done more than enough, Steve.”

The sound of your voice makes Steve jump and whirl around, oblivious to Robin’s sly smirk and mumbled excuse of needing to attend to something in the back room.

“H-hey!” He squeaks, then clears his throat in an attempt to get his tone back to its normal octave. “What… what’re you doing here?”

“Oh, just came to pick up a tape,” you tease. “But mostly I came to see you.”

“Me?” He takes a moment to ground himself, loosening his too-tight grip on the counter. “I mean… I tried to call you last night. And the night before?”

Your brow furrows. “Really? I didn’t get your message.”

Because he didn’t leave one. He clears his throat and says, “I just figured you were busy.”

“Oh, well, I volunteer at the animal shelter on Wednesdays, and last night was my friend’s 21st birthday. I’m sorry I missed you, though.”

He can tell that you’re really remorseful, and it makes his heart squeeze in his chest a little bit. He plays it off with a dismissive wave of his hand. “No, it’s fine, it’s… are you free tonight?”

You giggle at the abrupt redirect, but he’s played directly into your hand.

“Yeah, actually. I was hoping maybe you could help me pick out something for us to watch tonight? If you’re free too, that is.”

His dark eyes blink slowly, wondering if you’re aware of the implication behind your completely innocent words. You. Him. A movie. Alone. It’s enough to make his head spin. 

“I’ve never been freer.”

Conveniently, you’ve come in close enough to the end of his shift that by the time you’re done combing through Family Video’s vast selection for the perfect film to use as background noise, Steve’s ready to clock out. And since you walked over after finishing your own shift at the local dollar store up the street, it works out perfectly that he can give you a ride straight to his place.

You only glance in the backseat once, but it’s enough to get your mind churning. Remembering the feeling of him, of what could’ve been. Anticipating what will be.

“Parents home?” You ask as he pulls into his driveway and parks, trying to sound casual and utterly failing.

“Nope,” he answers easily. “Took a detour to Cabo on their way home from Hawaii.”

“Sounds glamorous. You opted out?”

“I’d rather be here in Hawkins with you than on a beach alone anyday.”

He must know the effect his words have on you. Surely he can hear the way your heart picks up pace as he looks at you with those dark, affectionate eyes.

“So… this is home.” He waves a hand around the entrance hall like it’s a shabby nightmare, not the grandest house you’ve ever been in.

“I’m starting to understand why they used to call you King Steve.”

He’s almost embarrassed at the mention of that old high school nickname. “Trust me, this isn’t why.”

“Well, a palace does befit you,” you tell him with a smirk.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me blush.” The wink he shoots you makes your gut erupt with butterflies, a sensation that would normally make you a little uncomfortable. With Steve, you’d take the butterflies all day long.

He gives you a cursory and oversimplified tour of the ground floor before leading you upstairs, and suddenly he’s sheepish. It’s been a few moons since he shared his room with a girl, so the nerves are justified. But that’s too simple an explanation. You’re not a girl. You’re his dream, his muse, his–to re-quote himself–goddess. No one he’s ever cared about more has stood where you’re standing, and it terrifies him.

He hides it well, though, busying himself with making a comfortable nest for you in his bed before setting up the television set on the dresser against the far wall. If ever there was a time to regain his confidence, it’s now. He curses whatever god there is that he feels like a fumbling virgin in this moment when nothing is even happening, when just the anticipation is enough to make his hands tremble.

There’s no more stalling once you’re comfortable and the tape is set to play. His heart pounds to the steady and frantic rhythm of one of those heavy rock songs Dustin listens to now as he sits next to you, hands itching to take a hold of you but also eager not to move too fast.

Almost as if you can sense his hesitation, you reach over and take his hand. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me.”

And so he does, and the second his lips slot to yours all the worry and anxiety is gone. He’s Steve Harrington, and he knows what he’s doing. You’re you, and he’s wanted this for so long. After years of being lost, he deserves to finally find the love he’s been looking for. He’s never been so sure of anything as he is, in this moment of initial clarity, that he’s in love with you.

He can’t say it, not yet. He’s sure it’s too soon, and the last thing he wants is to scare you off. But he’s determined to prove it to you, and the only way besides words is action.

He can handle action.

There’s no more restraint or hesitation behind his touch. This is it, this is what you’ve both been waiting for. There’s no way in hell he’s not going to deliver now. He’s desperate for you, and it shows in the heavy way his hands drag along your curves whilst committing you to memory; the way his tongue languidly swipes across your bottom lip; the way he shifts effortlessly to hover over you even while deepening the kiss.

He’s overwhelming every single sense of yours in such a sudden fashion, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Especially not when his hips meet yours in a deliciously slow grind and you finally get your first little taste of what’s to come.

He keens at the little breathless whimpers that leave your mouth, reading every single signal you provide him with and accommodating each. Moaning? He continues what he’s doing, intensifying if deemed necessary. Whining? He adds something, because he knows it’s hard to use your words when you’re wanting so badly. Squirming? He pays attention to the direction of your movement and pulls away or presses closer depending on necessity. It’s down to science for him; he only really cared about extracurriculars in school anyway, and this was certainly his favorite.

But then he comes to his senses–while he doesn’t pull away completely, he needs to clear his mind and he does so by letting up a bit, allowing the kiss to become languid and the heat to extinguish a bit. It only makes you whine more, and Steve curses his damned formula. You shouldn’t be part of an equation. You’re everything he’s ever wanted, and every aspect of your relationship so far has been a new experience for him. He needs this particular activity to be different too. No formulas or calculations. Just you and him and whatever happens naturally.

Clearly you can hear the cogs in his mind turning. You pull away with a concerned look on your face and ask, “what’s on your mind?”

Now’s not the time to hide anything from you, he reasons with himself. He wants to be authentic with you, and part of that means telling the truth, even if it’s not something particularly comfortable.

“I’m… falling into a routine. And I don’t want to,” he admits. He sighs and leans back, one hand dragging through his shaggy and disheveled hair, sure that he’s going to ruin the mood if he carries on like this. But he refuses to back away from the truth now. “This… it’s always been like…. Like a series of checkpoints. Boxes to check, y’know? Kiss you, take your clothes off, make you come, fuck you, say goodnight. And I don’t want… I can’t let it be like that with you. I need this to be… real. Not just some list to cross shit off of. I don’t–”

Steve takes a long, shaky breath before he can ramble on anymore. Never has someone so thoroughly gotten under his skin. He’s never felt so insecure, so unsure. It’s terrifying. The most terrifying part of it all, though, is that he likes it. He loves the feeling of the unfamiliarity, of doing this right. In a way, it’s almost like he’s doing all of this for the first time all over again. You’re his first date, first kiss, first time. All because he’s changed so drastically, because he’s not even remotely the same person he was just a year or two ago.

Your hands are so gentle as you cup his face, tenderly forcing his eyes to meet yours.

“Steve… we don’t have to do this, not if you’re not ready. I want to be with you, not just for this, but for everything. Everything that comes with you… that’s what I want. There’s no pressure. I would wait a hundred years for you to be ready so long as I could still have you.”

Steve’s breath shakes a little as he comprehends the gravity of your words. There’s nothing he can say that can properly convey the gratitude he holds for your words, so he says nothing at all.

In his silence, you continue. “You’re more than a body, you know that, right? You’re funny, and kind, and smart. Yes, smart, don’t look at me like that. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted to be close to. I just… I want to spend time with you. I want to watch stupid movies and eat diner food until we get sick and laugh at your stupid jokes… and maybe make love with you, sure, but that’s pretty low on the list as long as I just get to be with you.”

He doesn’t notice the tears until it’s too late–by the time you’re wiping them from the apples of his cheeks it’s far too late to take them back or hide them. With anyone else, he would be angry; at himself, for allowing himself to be so vulnerable. For allowing himself to be so emotional. With you, though… with you, his emotions make him feel strong. 

For the first time since you walked into his life, he’s not scared of losing you.

“I love you,” he tells you. His voice is firm, as fierce as the kiss he presses to your mouth, as powerful as the waves of emotion vibrating through his very soul. “I love you so much.”

He barely gives you a chance to reply, as keen as he is on physically proving his love to you through myriad passionate kisses that leave you breathless. But when you finally get the chance to use your voice after a barrage of kisses that start to trail down your neck, you whisper, “I love you too.”

Four words, and they’re all he needs to quell every worry or fear he’s had over doing this relationship properly with you. Why should he have to worry, after all, when he’s already succeeded? 

“I love you,” he whispers as he trails down your neck and to your chest, leaving tender love bites on the tops of your breasts once he’s properly liberated you from your shirt.

“I love you,” he mumbles through sucking a mark a few inches north of your navel.

“I love you,” he murmurs when his lips meet your waistband. His fingers make quick work of your pants as he scatters kisses over your stomach, unable to part his mouth from your skin for even a moment.

“I love you,” he affirms as his mouth meets your hot and waiting core.

There’s no more checklist. Because this isn’t simply sex, as it always has been for him in the past. This is love-making: the kind of sappy shit they talk about in all those Hallmark movies that he rolls his eyes at the sight of. It’s like losing his virginity all over again.

He understands the old adage of “the other half” now. You’ve ripped him to shreds and sewed him back together with strands of yourself. The end result is better than the original ever could’ve even dreamed to be. He’s sure he couldn’t possibly live without you now, that losing you would be like ripping out fresh and unhealed stitches.

You’re not sure how long he camps out between your trembling thighs, but it’s long enough for you to lose count of the number of times he pulls you apart–first with his languid tongue; then his long, curved fingers; then a combination of the two. It’s like he loses himself completely in your pleasure, not a single thought in his head except what he can do to bring you to the edge again, and again, and again.

You’re trembling with oversensitivity by the time his own needs overtakes his desperation to unravel you. So out of it that you feel drunk, like Steve’s laced you with absolute bliss so pure you can barely stand it.

You’re hardly present enough to appreciate the adonis before you when he finally undoes his own jeans, and that’s a damned shame because he’s so damned pretty. Long and thick, flushed at the girthy tip from his hitherto unacknowledged arousal. His lean thighs are pure muscle, and the dark thatch of hair that trails south from his navel makes your mouth water. He’s everything you dreamed he’d be and so much more.

“Steve…” You don’t know what else you can possibly say. All you can do is vainly hope that one whine of his name can convey all of the heat, frustration, tension, and above all longing, swirling through your head in the moment.

He breaks from his lustful reverie for a moment to smile as he leans in for another heated kiss; you think it’s safe to say you’ve gotten your point across.

He slows from his mania for a few moments, lips tender as they explore against yours once more. These kisses are languid, slow, yet no less heated. Even now, he’s trying to prove his love to you. As if you could somehow not believe him after everything that’s happened, every small moment you’ve spent with him witnessing how hard he’s trying for you.

Somewhere in between kisses he manages to wrestle a condom out of his nightstand, miraculously without ever breaking from your lips.

Now is where you cut in, finally fading out of your over-pleasured fugue and back to reality. You take the little foil packet from his hands and tear it open, eager for this small chance to finally get a hand or two on him.

He lets out the most gorgeous noise you’ve ever heard as you roll the rubber down his length; a deep, earthy, diaphragmatic moan just from the simple touch of your hand. You want to touch him even more, to wrest out more of those sounds from him; to see what other undiscovered responses you can pull from him as you pleasure him. But you know that now, he needs to set the pace. He believes he has something to prove, and you’re more than happy to let him prove it. There will be plenty of other opportunities to have him completely at your mercy, anyway.

There’s no way to describe the feeling as he slides into you. It’s more than bliss, more than euphoria, more than earth-shattering toe-curling mind-altering pleasure. It’s nothing more than feeling whole. Of never knowing you were missing a part of yourself until it’s suddenly returned to you. Of never knowing what home felt like until this exact moment.

Maybe it’s overdramatic. Maybe it’s outlandish and outrageous and a million other adjectives to feel something so overpowering and overwhelming from such a seemingly simple physical act. But in this moment, you know you’ve never felt anything as right as being connected to Steve in this way.

His lips hardly leave yours while he rolls his hips against you, easily finding the perfect angle to make your breath hitch and your hands scrabble for purpose.

It admittedly doesn’t last long, but it doesn’t have to. Once you start to tighten and pulse around him, he’s a goner–deep purposeful thrusts turning to hard, arrhythmic plunges in desperate search of release.

You’re still shaking from your high when he slowly pulls out of you. He keeps you close, arms linked around your waist and dragging you to lay on his chest as he flops back against the pillows. 

You’re not sure how long you lay like that, with Steve whispering sweet nothings into your hair and pressing absentminded kisses to your face. All you can really focus on is one all-consuming, life-changing fact.

“I love you, Steve Harrington.”

“I love you too,” he whispers back. He kisses you again, just a simple peck on your lips, and you know that he’s telling the truth. It’s an eternal truth: one that can’t be changed or altered in any way. Steve Harrington loves you with every fibre of his being, and he will for the rest of his life–even if you’re both blissfully unaware of it for now.

THE END

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[kanmom51]

Like Crazy - new insights

*This is a reposting of my latest reblog due to issues with that specific post.

***This has been sitting in my drafts since April 2023!!!

This is the post I reblogged and the basis to my own post.

Yep. I had some of a post written way back in April 2023, but the pieces just didn't come all together for me.

After Muse's release and specifically after the BTB yesterday where JM discussed Who, Muse and the lyrics, we also saw the change made to Who's lyrics from "you" to "she" things started to clear up for me. But then, a friend also shared a picture of the original lyrics of Like Crazy, which were subsequently altered before recording. We discussed these changes and I now feel that this is it! This is the missing piece to my post.

I mostly left what I wrote over a year ago in tact, adding the missing pieces to this puzzle that makes this post with what I feel is a little more insight into Like crazy.

Needless to say, these are my opinions, how I see the lyrics, the ones that made the cut and the ones that stayed in JM's lyrics journal.

So, let's get started:

Here I was thinking I'm the only one who was seeing this...

I do hope I'm reading this right, before going off motormouth about something that maybe isn't what is being said, but to hell with it, this is something I've been thinking too and I'm just gonna come out and say it.

We're all over 18 here right?

This is a subject we can talk about?

The more I listen to this song, the more I think it to be true too.

First of all, before starting off, I want to link this ask:

**Shock and awe... "she" wasn't part of the original lyrics for Like Crazy . Colour me surprised to learn the same is true with Who (even though JM didn't actually write the song himself). Oh, and if we are on that subject already, how not surprising to see the process of writing the song with John Billion, who happens to be one of the writers of SNTY as well (me sitting here thinking of several words and references that could have been somehow suggested and inserted into the song. No idea who (nah, I'm telling lies, I know exactly who). How shocking (NOT) to see that the artist actually had input with the song lyrics of which he is not credited in writing.

Again, the depth of the song, the layers to the song and the multiple interpretations too.

JM told us this song is about him struggling. He told us he was going through a period where he was drinking too much. He was finding fulfillment in ways other than performing, as performing is part of him, he is a performer, someone who needs the stage to express himself. The stage is where he is at peace, the stage being a piece of him that he was missing.

We saw his outburst of emotions in the first day of MOTS ON:E (that was my first experience of BTS and he literally broke my heart - and later seeing him being mocked for it infuriated me).

This was October 2020, around 6 months into the pandemic. The uncertainty. This is their first online performance and from there until Muster another 9 months go by. We know from Festa 2022 that the pandemic screwed up all of their plans. The uncertainty, working on and releasing BE and then Butter and PTD everything leading up to the PTD online concert, a year after MOTS ON:E. For those that performing is their life, standing in front of an audience and giving it their all, it's a hard pill to swallow. The unknown, if they will ever get back to perform on stage in front of a live audience, when this is who they are, their essence, it can be unbearable. JM wasn't the only performer to go through this. It's just that he shared this with us. He showed us his pain and vulnerability and was mocked for it by many. Shame on them!!!

So, again, JM told us with Like Crazy, that he was filling in that hole. Alcohol was mentioned by him specifically. But listening to the song, I think it's quite clear that sex was a very big part of it as well. Looking for that rush, that high. It's clear as day, for me anyway, in the lyrics.

(I think we could last forever I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

[Verse 1] She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, you can leave it Stay with me until today

[Verse 2] Watch me go Wet me all night (Away) And morning too Don't come if you're drunk

In this loud music It fades me It's a drama-like story I'm get used to it Have you come far to find me that you used to know? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

[Chorus] I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Interlude] Mmm-hmm Yeah, hey Mmm-hmm Ooh-woah Mmm-hmm Mmm-hmm (Forever, you and I)

[Verse 3] Me reflects in the mirror I'm going crazy without hesitation I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Outro] This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Those are the lyrics he recorded.

But you see, there were changes made to the lyrics he was working on originally, and we got to see some of them.

This specifically:

Reading this draft and the final ones there are a few things that just fall into place for me (and I'd think for anyone that reads them), loud and clear:

First of all, obviously JM is singing about drinking too much alcohol. If the final lyrics hinted to losing himself in alcohol, the draft lyrics are ever so clear regarding that point.

Second of all, the sex. I think JM was pretty straight forward using the wording he was using. "Give me a good ride" can be other things, if you twist it around to try and explain it away, but bottom line, those lines within the context of the lines in the draft, like "just go turn off the light, you and me..." not to mention the whole chorus, to me the reference is obvious.

Next, I talked about the many references to JK in this song in this post:

This is all also relevant when it comes to my next point being the fact that to me it's clear that JM wrote this song referencing a special someone with whom he shares a high level of intimacy. A special someone that was there by his side when JM was struggling. A special someone that was struggling seeing JM going through everything he was.

To that person JM wrote (in the draft): "oh baby don't you cry, just wanna see your smile..."

These lines, they were too much. Too obvious. Too intimate. And they were left out probably because of just that.

So JM went with other lines. A little less obvious perhaps, and yet still very telling. The finale of the song:

No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Now, you could claim that the song is about an inner struggle. JM struggling with himself, talking to himself, and yes, that could very much be part of the message JM, the king of layering, is going for. But see, that's exactly the point. JM is the king of layering, of having several meanings and messages within his lyrics and creations. And this is not different. There is no mistaking the reference to another person, not JM himself, in the lyrics. The way he uses the "you" in the lyrics, at times could pass as you being the alcohol, at times the you being himself in the mirror, but at times it's clearly a third party he is talking to. Especially in that finale to the song, that someone that wants to lift him out of that stupor he is in, to wake him up, to save him, when he is unwilling, not ready to accept that help just yet (same person he asks not to cry, knowing that he is making them sad). There are also the clear JK references in this song. The "you are me I am you" being the loudest of them all.

But JM being JM, he showed us in his own way what this song was about, opening up and allowing us to see his drafts.

And then he gave us Letter. Hidden, and private and intimate. Addressed not to us, but to that person that was always there by his side, that person he addresses in Like Crazy telling him "forever you and I". Now, in Letter, being in a better, healthier place, he can repeat the sentiment of them together forever. A sentiment JK had mentioned in the past (omg, that was so very awkward).

And now using lines like : "I sincerely hope we are forever" and "But don’t forget that we’re always together"...

The lyrics, the sentiments, the drafted lyrics that never made it, like the use of "Dangshin", I have talked about it all. Letter was for JK. Period.

When seeing Like Crazy again, the lyrics, the struggle, the person by his side, the intimacy, and Letter, I'm kind of thinking that not only is Letter a love ode to JK. That is stating the obvious. But it's also JM's acknowledgement and thank you to that person that stood by his side in his most difficult of times.

JK.

Bottom line:

Like crazy is about JM struggling and self medicating with alcohol and sex.

It's personal about himself, his struggles, but also includes a person that is there by his side, one he is highly intimate with, one who is there with him together. That person is there, spending the nights with him, in that escape world JM created for himself. Sad seeing JM struggle, trying to find a way to help JM out of that pit but being unable to do so, staying by JM's side all the same.

We know who that person is.

Same person he addresses Letter to.