#and gives the guy next to him a definitely-fatal wound to the thigh. he's screaming. everyone's screaming. run into the woods!!!

[cantankerouscatfish]

idk if my uncle who liked to pop out his glass eye and scream as if injured to scare people ever knew my parents' friend who got into a fake fight with a close friend at a party which resulted in a knife buried to the hilt in his leg and everyone else running away screaming, but at the very least they'd have some stories to share.

[ampmiscfiles]

Let Us Love You: Chapter 8

Start at the beginning

Bucky watched with a thoughtful expression as Peter left. There was no denying the omega hadn't looked at him quite like he had before.

He looked......unsure.

He debated on letting the others know, but he didn't have to say anything.

"That was interesting." Natasha said, eyebrows raised.

"What was?" Steve asked, turning from where Karen had walked off.

"Bucky and Peter." she answered.

The three other alphas snapped to attention.

"What about them?" Thor pushed.

"We just made eye contact. She's making something out of nothing." Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

"There was something different in that look." Natasha said, crossing her arms.

"I don't see why this is such a big deal. We all know he was close to the version of me in his world. He damn near shuts down every time he sees me. You'd be better off ignoring what you saw. It wasn't me he was looking at." Bucky glared before stomping off.

"Was it really a big deal?" Steve asked, looking at Natasha carefully. "I mean, Buck's not wrong. Peter had a connection with his version, it really could just be that."

"Oh, it's definitely a little bit of that. I could see it. He misses him. Most likely it's the same with Sam. Still, he knew he wasn't looking at his Barnes. He was trying to seen him in ours though."

"Perhaps this is a good thing." Thor hummed. "If we can convince him to talk to our friend Barnes, then he could see ours is the same as his!"

"That might work in theory, big guy," Tony nodded. "But how do you propose to get close enough to Peter to suggest it? How would you suggest it?"

"It's not a bad idea. I think Peter wants to talk to him, but our other selves have left a serious impression on him." Natasha said, moving to follow where Bucky had gone. "Let's go. We need to do a little brainstorming."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Welcome to my awesome abode. I'd be glad to show you around. Maybe you'd like to see the inside of my bedroom?" Johnny winked, opening the door wide for Peter to enter.

"I've literally been here multiple times. I think I can get around just fine." Peter smirked. "Plus, I've seen your bedroom. It's a disaster."

"You've seen theother me'sroom. I can assure you thatmineis ready for company."

"I bet it is." Peter rolled his eyes. "Where is everyone?"

"In the kitchen. Come on, I'll win you over with my co-"

"You can't cook." Peter snorted.

"You don't know that!"

"What are we having?"

"It's.......um..."

"Exactly." Peter laughed, passing Johnny and heading towards the kitchen.

"Are you sure we're just friends? I feel like there's something between us."

"Yeah, a mutual respect for giving each other shit."

"You know, I think you're ignoring the fact I'm a different Johnny Storm here." Johnny pouted, crossing his arms.

"No. You're still the same idiot." Peter chuckled, flicking his forehead.

"I'll have you know, I'm a highly sought-after alpha. Everyone wants a piece of this." he gestured to his whole body.

"I bet. I had to fight the crowd of screaming fangirls just to get in here." Peter deadpanned.

The truth was, Johnny was every bit as good looking in this universe as he had been in Peter's. Still, just as he retained his looks here, he also retained his extreme level of self-confidence.

"I'll win you over yet, Parker."

"Uh hu. Sure. Just don't hold your breath."

Peter would never admit he had once had a major crush on his own Johnny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Peter!" Reed smiled as he and Johnny entered the kitchen.

Sue smiled as she looked up from pulling a pan of lasagna out of the oven.

"Hello, Peter. Everything is almost done. Why don't you all go join Ben."

"Yes! I have so ma-"

"Reed." Sue warned. "He only just got here."

"It's ok, really." Peter smiled.

"I was used to this." he said, motioning between him and Reed.

"Let's talk then. I'm curious about your story. The multiverse isn't a common topic I get to discuss!"

"Well, I can't tell you you're gonna like most of what I have to say. Still, it's great to see you guys again." Peter smiled, genuinely happy to see the family of four back together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Heard we missed all the fun." Clint called, stepping off the elevator with his bags. "You guys couldn't have waited?"

"Sure. Next time we'll ask the killer robot army to hang on and let our other team mates get back from their impromptu vacation." Tony huffed.

"You all seem in a better mood than when we left. Something happen?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow at others.

The alphas were gathered in the common area talking eagerly amongst themselves.

"Yes." Thor smiled widely. "We have decided to properly court our omega. We shall return to the old ways."

"Who says romance is dead?" Tony grinned. "We're gonna woo the hell out of him!”

"This should be fun." Sam deadpanned.

“Oh ye of little faith. We're an extremely romantic bunch when let loose.” Tony scoffed.

“The guy couldn’t be more clear on his desire not to be your omega.”

“We’ve been talking to Karen and each other. Slow and steady wins the race and all that.”

“I think we made it back in perfect time then!” Clint grinned, opening his bag. “Brought some of Laura and the kids’ things. They missed you guys.”

Clint passed out the few items he had brought from his home. The scents of Laura and the three kids extended into the room. The calm of knowing their distant pack members were safe settled the atmosphere.

“We’ll get out to see them soon.” Natasha smiled, rubbing the small stuffed bunny she knew belonged to Nathaniel.

“We may even get to introduce them to Peter.” Steve said, a hopeful lit in his voice.

“Please don’t push that on him.” Bruce sighed. “It’s going to be enough on him dealing with you all, much less integrating into a full pack.”

“We are fully prepared to take it slow with our young omega.” Thor smiled.

The four other alphas nodded in agreement. There was no other option really. Sam was right in his statement that Peter seemed to want nothing to do with them, but Peter's conflict over Bucky had revived their hopes.

Maybe it wasn't such a lost cause after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Your universe sucked.” Johnny scoffed from his seat next to Peter.

“I don’t always get along with Stark, but it’s deeply upsetting to hear about a version of him that was so violent.” Reed frowned, taking his own seat.

“I just can’t picture any of them being like that.” Sue agreed.

“Well, good thing ours arn’t like that. Not sure I could clobber them all at once.” Ben huffed.

Peter listened as the four voiced their opinions of the Avengers.To be honest, he was getting a little sick and tired of everyone telling him how wonderful they were.

They were wonderful in his world at once too!Everyone loved them and practically worshipped them!

Truth be told, there was no real understanding of the change. It wasn’t like anyone was opposing them. Who would? The Avengers risked their lives to help people, to keep them safe. Why would they evenneedto change?

Not that it mattered. They did change. They went from saving people tohurtingthem. They lorded their power over the people, and gleefully killed those who posed any real threat.

They were monsters!

Peter absently ran his hand along his thigh where he knew a long scar sat. A memorial to a particularly brutal up close fight with Black Widow. She had managed to stun him with her widow bites, slowing him down enough to prevent an unharmed escape. It could have been much worse, he knew, but he got lucky in where the bites had hit him.

She had been aiming for a fatal blow.

His movement had saved him from a slow death, but the blade had torn practically through to the bone in his thigh. If Bucky hadn’t shown up, she would have finished the job. As it was, he was out of commission for two weeks before the wound had healed, feeling had returned, and the leg moved without stiffness.

God, the blood she had spilt.

“Peter?”

Peter startled out of his thoughts to find the four looking at him.

“Sorry.” he mumbled. “I can get lost in thought sometimes.”

“Well, I’m more than willing to help you with that.” Johnny grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh I know you can. You always could bore me right to sleep.” Peter snarked.

The others laughed and began passing around the food as Johnny pouted.

"So, you said there are no second genders where you're from?" Sue asked, curious as to how Peter was handling the change.

"No, we definitely didn't have alphas, betas, and omegas where I'm from. It was.....surprising to say the least." Peter winced.

"Well, you seem to be doing alright as a beta." Reed smiled.

"Beta?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Your scent is barely there. Beta scents are generally muted. Yours seems a little more so. Maybe it's because you weren't originally from here. Do you not know your second gender though, or did you think you hadn't gained one?" Sue frowned.

"I would have figured Matt and Karen would have explained things to you."

Peter looked around the table, unconsciously touching his wrist where one of the patches sat under his sleeve and web shooter.

"No," Peter hesitated. "They did, I.....I'm just still adjusting it all. I mean, I lived 26 years without all this, so it's easy to forget sometimes."

Ben, Sue, and Reed nodded, striking back up light conversation and more questions about himself and how he was getting along. Out the corner of his eye, Peter couldn't ignore the strange look Johnny kept giving him.

"So, what are you going by if you can't be a Parker?" Ben asked, drawing Peter's thoughts away from Johnny.

"Jones." Peter sighed.

"Any relation to Jessica Jones?" Reed asked.

"Yeah." Peter huffed. "Everyone thought they were so funny when they decided to make me Jessica's cousin."

"What's funny about that?" Sue frowned. "Did the two of you date back in your world?"

"Not hardly." Peter laughed.

"No, they just thought my initials were a nice joke.They left my first and middle name then changed my last."

"What's your name then?"

"My name is Peter Benjamin Par...err, Jones. Peter Benjamin Jones."

"I'm sure you'd make a delicious sandwich." Johnny snorted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours had passed before Peter noticed the time. He had been enjoying himself while getting acquainted with this version of the Four. They were practically identical to his, making connecting with them extremely easy.

“Well, I guess I better get going. Karen’s a worrier.”

“Don’t let Matt fool you, Peter,” Sue smirked. “He’s a worrier too with people he cares about. I saw you two talking.”

“Matt was the first person I went to after I got here. I was good friends with him.” Peter smiled.

He was happy to have Matt and Karen, and to be gathering back all the people he lost, but Ben, May, Bucky and Sam were never far from his mind. The people he wanted most were the people he’d never get.

After promising to visit again, and give a demonstration of his strength levels compared to Ben's, Johnny led Peter out.

"So, Pete," Johnny started, unusually hesitant compared to his normal composure.

"The others didn't press, but I'm going to. You're an omega, aren't you?"

Peter blinked in surprise. He had yet to have to admit his second gender to anyone on his own yet. Everyone who knew, had either discovered from his scent, or been told by someone else.

"I could see the scent patch occasionally when your sleeve moved up and your, whatever those are on your wrists, shifted."

Peter swallowed hard, not missing the fact Johnny had moved into his space.

"I...uh.."

"It's ok, Pete." Johnny smirked, stepping back. "I'm not going to blab your secret. I am, however, going to knock you off your feet! You'll give in to me yet, Jones."

"I don't think you want to try, Storm." Peter replied, breathing a little easier as Johnny's alpha pheromones calmed.

"Why? Do you already have an alpha? I just don't see any mating marks."

Mating marks?

Peter frowned. He hadn't heard of any 'mating marks'. Was there more he had to learn? Maybe he should keep blowing Karen's lessons off.

"No. I don't have an alpha, and I'm not interested in one." Peter narrowed his eyes.

"Fair enough." Johnny smiled, holding up his hands in surrender. "But that doesn't mean I won't keep trying."

Peter sighed. While he wasn't about to let Johnny Storm in on his alpha problem, he couldn't forget how the Avengers had reacted to Wade when they realized the two were hanging out together.

Deadpool hadn't been in any real danger since he could easily regenerate, but Johnny couldn't.

If anything Karen had already told him had gotten through, it was that alphas could be possessive. He had already seen it in action, and the Avengers were anything but normal alphas.

Still, he wasn't going to let that stop him from hanging around people he actually trusted.

They would just have to deal.

If they couldn't, and tried to hurt his friends, he'd be ready.

As he made his way back toward Matt and Karen's, he didn't even notice how his thoughts on the Avengers had changed from "when", to "if".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You smell like Johnny Storm." Karen frowned when he walked through the door.

"Hello Karen. I see your fine after today's events. My dinner with the Four was great. If was nice to catch up. Thanks for asking."

"Don't sass me, Peter Jones." Karen glared, following him to his room, passing a smirking Matt along the way.

"What if you had run into your alphas? You're unmated and smelling of an alpha that's not one of them! Even worse that it's Johnny with his flirty reputation."

"I'm not avoiding friends just becausetheymight not like it, Karen!" Peter shouted, turning around with his own glare.

"They don't own me and never will. I don't want them! I don't trust them! It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks of them. I can't stand them!"

"Peter, please," Karen tried.

"No. This discussion is over Karen. I'm never going to be with the Avengers. It's not happening."

"You won't even give them a chance!" Karen shouted, her frustration rising. "You're so hell bent on seeing them as the same villains they were in your world that you refuse to see them as the heroes they are here! This isn't your old world, Peter! You can't keep hanging on to what happened there. You're here now!"

The two glared at each other, neither wanting to admit defeat.

"You don't know what you're talking about Karen. You have no idea what I've been through."

"I have a damn good idea, Peter! You've made no effort to hide your disdain for them. You have no problems admitting what those other Avengers did to you. I know it's left physical as well as mental scars, but did you ever stop and think that maybe getting to know these Avengers could help you heal?"

There was complete silence as Karen's words hung in the air.

"Getting to know them and seeing they're who you wish your Avengers had been could be good for you. You could finally relax a little and try to move on. You've been here for months now Peter, and yet you still hold everything from your past so close it's like it all happened yesterday."

Karen sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"We're all still here, Peter. Nothing has happened to any of us and they've had more than enough opportunity to hurt us if they wanted to. They've had plenty of chances to kill the others and make it look like a casualty of a fight and no one would question it, but they haven't. They haven't, and you need to realize and accept it."

Without another word, Karen turned and headed into her and Matt's bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anger rippling under his skin, Peter left the apartment and headed towards Luke's bar. Maybe he could find something there to keep himself busy.

Anything to get his mind off his....whatever that was, with Karen.

Shoving his way into the back door, the sounds from the front filtered in through his ears. The place was at peek hour.

"I swear, if one more asshole-Peter?"

Peter looked over as Luke stormed into the back, grabbing a bucket and mop.

"Rough night?" Peter asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, it's gonna be for the shit that just broke a beer bottle over a guy's head. They're both about to clean up their little mess, then get thrown out on their asses." Luke grumbled, kicking the door back open and shouting.

Peter decided to hang out in the back, letting Luke handle things before making his way up front.

"Get out here, Jones." Luke snapped, sticking his head back through the door. "Make yourself useful and come serve some drinks."

Grinning, Peter slid his way behind the bar and got to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was slowing down to the more, quieter patrons of the night. These were the people Peter liked the most. While the more boisterous crowd could be fun, they could also be annoying and demanding. Some even tried to get a little handsy, over the bar.

This crowd though, this was crowd was just looking for a little break from the world.

Peter heard someone sit at the bar while he was crouched, placing glasses back into their places. Rubbing his hands on his pants, he stood up to greet the customer and....froze.

Sam Wilson stared back, as equally surprised to see him.

The two just stared at each other, neither knowing how to react.

"Hey, Pete-" Luke stopped as he took in what was happening.

He wasn't quite sure what to do, and it didn't appear as if Peter or Sam knew either. Had it been any of the alphas, Luke would have easily jumped in, knowing how stressed Peter would be.

Sam wasn't an alpha though.

“Let me start by saying your secret is safe with me.” Sam said. “I’m pretty burnt out on alpha desperation at this point. I just want to have a drink and enjoy it.”

Peter stared at him a moment before moving forward.

“What would you like?”

“Whatever you recommend.”

Peter looked at him again. Guess Sam was willing to trust his judgement in drinks in any universe.

Sam nodded as Peter slid a glass across the counter top and took a swig.

“I hope we’re not gonna spend the entire time in here in this strange, tense silence.”

Peter sighed.

“This isn’t....this isn’t easy for me.”

“I’ve gotten that impression. I also heard you were close to your world’s Bucky and I.”

“Y...yeah.” Peter frowned. “By the end, they were my best friends.....they were all I had left.”

The two were silent again as Peter busied himself with meaningless tasks.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Sam said suddenly. “I think I would have reacted the same way.”

Peter stood with his back to Sam, debating on his next move.

Finally, he turned.

“You’re a lot like him, well, when he wasn’t giving me shit anyway.” Peter chuckled.

“Oh, I can give you shit if that’s what you’re looking for spider boy.” Sam grinned.

Peter grinned back, strangely comfortable in this Sam’s presence.

Maybe all Sam’s were pretty much the same.

“Look. I know you’re probably willing to talk to me like thishere. I can see Cage keeping an eye on you, but I think, if we got along in your world, we could get along here.”

Peter hesitated, the since of unease returning.

“I’m not trying to hand you over to the wolves!” Sam said quickly. “I’m more so trying to offer up another friendship. One that gets me away from everyone at the tower and one that offers you.....” Sam hesitated, unsure if he should continue.

“Maybe something that offers you a bit of what you lost?”

Peter’s eyes widened in surprise. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of this Sam’s offer. As much as he missed his own, and as similar as the two seemed, could he really ever think of this Sam as a friend on par with his?

“I...um...”

“You don’t have to answer me now.” Sam assured. “Maybe just think about it. I realize I’m part of the enemy here, but I promise I’m not a bad guy.”

“Yeah.” Peter snorted. “You’re not trying to get into my pants.”

“You do realize there’s more to it than that, right?”

“I’m not really interested.” Peter replied. “You don’t know what it was like to see them hurt people. To see them kill you and Bucky.”

“I’d offer up the argument that these Avengers haven’t done that considering Bucky and I are clearly still alive, but I have the feeling you’ve heard that line enough.”

“That obvious?”

“From five words in.”

Peter let out a breath, running his hand through his hair. It was hard having someone who looked like his lost friend be so close, and yet so far.

"I'll share a secret with you, kid." Sam grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

This caught Peter's attention as he leaned onto the bar.

"There are three betas in the tower. Me, Clint and Bruce-"

"I...I like Dr. Banner." Peter mumbled.

"What?" Sam asked, unsure he had heard right.

"I....I like Dr. Banner. He.......he had it hard in my world. Hulk is a force to be reckoned with. He can be easily enraged to the point that even the intelligence he does have can be quickly over written. When the Avengers...turned.....they held him hostage. Bruce was far to gentle in nature to side with them, so they held him captive, using Hulk against him. They'd do whatever they could to bring out Hulk, then set him loose on the city."

Sam sat in stunned silence. He could never imagine putting Bruce Banner through that kind of torment. Bruce struggled with balancing himself as both separate and part of Hulk.

"I wanted to free him. Tried several times, but it never worked. They kept him in an underground bunker beneath the tower. I only saw him once. I'm not even sure how I managed to make it that far. I've never forgotten how defeated, miserable and pained he looked inside that glass cage they kept him in."

"Glass doesn't sound like it would hold-"

"Oh, it was 'Hulk proof'." Peter hissed. "Before things went bad, Bruce and Tony created it to contain him if things got to bad and he needed somewhere safe to be until he returned back to himself."

"They used his own creation against him." Sam sighed, running his hand down his face. "Guess that explains why you didn't do anything to Bruce that day."

"I told Matt and Karen it was because he let me out. I'm telling you the truth because you live with them and need to know what they're capable of doing."

"If it makes you feel any better," Sam started. "We don't have a Hulk room or cage or anything."

Peter narrowed his eyes.

"Serious!" Sam defended. "Bruce comes and goes just like the rest of us. He pretty much stays at the tower though. We don't have many instances where the Hulk is needed, but Bruce's medical training comes in handy a lot. Even stepped up a notch when you showed up." Sam snickered.

"Are you.....enjoying me hurting them?" Peter asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Immensely. Clint and I, don't tell him I agree with him, think it's amazing."

Peter didn't stop the upturn of his lip at Sam's grin.

"Omega's don't typically kick their alpha's asses on the regular. I mean, I've heard of those mutant omegas at Xavier's going out and fighting, but I've never seen them do it in person. You, on the other hand, I have watched fling every alpha on the team around like rag dolls. It's humbling really."

Sam's laughter filled the small space between him and Peter.

"Well, I do have a history of fighting the hierarchy." Peter smiled.

"Tell you what," Sam said, holding out his hand. "Let's start fresh. No alternate identities. Just two guys meeting at a bar. I'm Sam Wilson."

Peter looked at the outstretched hand and up at Sam's face. His spider-sense remained, as it had the entire time, silent. Slowly, Peter took the outstretched hand.

"Peter Jones."

Sam raised and eyebrow.

"Doesn't surprise me." Peter rolled his eyes. "Of course you'd all know my real name."

"Why change it?"

"Because a version of me existed here at one time." Peter replied, looking away. "I can't be Peter Parker when he's dead."

"I guess not one that looks just like him." Sam nodded. "I'm guessing there's also family then?"

"Yeah." Peter replied, not willing to say more.

"Alright then, Peter Jones, it was nice to meet you. I better be getting back home though." Sam smiled, standing up and taking his jacket off the back of the chair.

"You'll cover that for me, right?"

Peter looked down where Sam nodded at the empty glass.

"No way Wilson."

"To think, I wanted to be nice to you." Sam said, pulling some bills out of his pocket.

"There's no such thing as free alcohol, man." Peter grinned.

"Then what's the point of being friends with the bartender?"

"The fabulous company?"

"I know that's what you get, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm getting." Sam smirked.

"I'll tell you what, this time." Peter's grinned turned wicked. "You'll get to keep a place you can go where the other Avengers can never bother you. I'll personally see to their exits if they ever show up."

Sam barked out a laugh as he straightened out his jacket.

"Well, if they ever show up, it won't be because of me. With that said, I appreciate your willingness to uphold the sanctity of my sacred drinking hole."

The two nodded at each other as Sam walked out the door, followed shortly after by the last of Luke's customers.

"You ok?" Luke asked as he restocked the bar while Peter swept.

"Surprisingly, yeah. Dealing with just Sam was way different than the others."

"Well, being a beta probably helps." Luke shrugged, not wanting to verbally address the other issues.

"Maybe." Peter nodded.

"You worried you'll have more 'customers'?" Luke asked after a moment. "I can't exactly say I can ban the Avengers..."

"No." Peter said, looking up at Luke. "I'm actually not."

Luke stopped and raised an eyebrow.

"You do realize-"

"I don't think he'll tell. Not them anyway. Maybe Barton and Dr. Banner, but not them."

"Well, I heard about Banner, but what about Barton. What's the feelings on him?"

Peter stopped sweeping, letting his thoughts gather themselves.

"He was just as ruthless as the others in my world. Tony made him explosive arrows. He caused so much damage with those. Lots of innocent people lost their homes and their lives. I don't trust him any more than the others."

Peter's face turned stony as he thought about the archer.

"He shot me in the back once. Went right through my right side."

"He did what?" Luke growled, walking from behind the bar and over to Peter.

"Yeah, right here." Peter said, lifting his shirt and tracing the scar on the side of his stomach, then moving to the part on his back.

Luke looked at the two scars, not missing a few others as well.

"Jesus, kid."

"I keep trying to tell you all. The Avengers can't be trusted this blindly! They could turn at any moment, and you could end up with the same scars as me......or worse."

Luke frowned as he watched Peter try to keep his breathing calm. He wasn't sure Peter having contact with Sam was a good idea anymore. It didn't matter what intentions the man had, being around him definitely opened Peter up to chances of having to see the other members of the team.

"I worry though, that I'm letting positive memories of Sam cloud my judgement here." Peter sighed. "I'm worried desperation for that connection is taking over."

"You can always keep to meeting here. You never have to meet him anywhere you don't want to." Luke shrugged. "I know you're tired of hearing it kid, so I'll save a lot of it."

Peter frowned, unsure of exactly what Luke was going to say.

"I don't have a problem with the Avengers, but I'm also not you. I don't have your past, so my opinion means nothing. Sam though, Sam's not an alpha. He's a beta with no romantic interest in you. I don't think it would be a big deal to consider the option of some form of friendship with him. Shit on the others if you don't want to."

Peter didn't know what to say. He was genuinely worried as to what accepting Sam's offer might lead to. The worst scenarios running through the forefront of his mind. Still, the possible benefits kept pushing their way in.

"I'll think about it.

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

be mine

summary: Valentine’s day sucks, and you’re certain the only way to make it worse is to spend it with someone other than your best friend Nolan.

warnings: swearing

word count: 4.8k

note: this is long, cute, and took me two days to write. enjoy.

Red roses, wine, chocolates, dinner reservations. All things great on their own, and most you even indulged yourself in.

Except in February.

The fourteenth of February, to be exact. You didn’t want to be a pessimist, but something about the commercialized holiday rubbed you the wrong way. The way it valued monetary gifts instead of real acts of kindness, the way men though that a year of putting minimal effort into a relationship could be undone by bouquet of roses and heart-shaped box full of mediocre candies.

Or maybe you were just soul-crushingly single.

It wasn’t that you felt you had to have a relationship in order to feel complete, you were earning a degree that would get you one step closer to your dream job, you had a circle of close friends that you would entrust your life in, and a job on the side to help pay for the stuff you wanted. But sometimes it was nice to come home to someone, or have someone look at you like you put the stars in the sky.

The week leading up to the dreaded day was full of you deflecting questions about why you were still single, what you would be doing, and you who would be with. Apparently, it wasn’t obvious that you were doing your best to try and avoid the topic, because even when you were hanging out with the two people you thought would not care about your relationship status in the slightest, asked.

Professional athletes, ones that were barely passing as functioning humans on their own, didn’t care about stuff like that, right? Travis Konecny and Nolan Patrick, two of your closest friends, proved you wrong.

“You should get a Tinder.” Travis suggested as you, him, and Nolan sat in your living room. The three of you had been watching the Penguins vs Rangers game since the boys had the night off and you offered to make dinner. You regretted offering to host, because as soon as Travis had set his plate down on the coffee table from his reserved spot in your arm chair, he asked what you would be be doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day. You had thrown your head back in exasperation, which prompted his comment.

Instead of verbally responding, you snagged the throw pillow beside you on the couch and chucked it at Travis’ head. He scoffed in offense, catching it easily but acting like he had just gotten fatally wounded. Nolan chuckled at your actions, the deep sound causing your gaze to flick him.

You tried to ignore it, you really did. But nothing could stop the way your heart skipped a beat in your chest. He wasn’t even looking at you, but the tall brunette was doing things that made your mind a little foggy. Your legs were thrown across his lap, your calves resting comfortably on his thighs, and his hands atop of your shins. You hadn’t realized it in the moment, but when Travis had suggested you join the dating app, he subconsciously gave your shins a quick squeeze.

“Why not give it a chance?” Travis pushed, and it was almost like he couldn't see the glare on your face. And if it wasn’t for the shit-eating grin he wore, then maybe you would've thought that the comments weren’t a chirp on the fact that the entire time he's known you, you had never been in a relationship.

“Because I’m not looking for a hookup.” You stated matter-of-factly. “Plus, even if I had a Tinder, I would never tell you about it.” Travis pouted at the new information, but for once in what seemed like the entire time since he introduced himself to you, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he turned his focus to his best friend, who was watching the television intently, despite it being the first intermission.

“What about you, Patty? What’re you gonna get up to?” Travis teased, earning an eye roll from the boy in question.

“Well, considering we have a game that day, I’m going to go watch you guys.” Nolan explained, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Your heart cracked a little at his comment, knowing just how much he hated being sidelined. But he was getting better, and recently had been attending skates and practices. It was a step in the right direction, but he still wanted nothing more than to be out on the ice with his team, playing the game he loved so much. You didn’t pity him, instead you treated his as normal, even going to the apartment he shared with Kevin Hayes while the team was away on road trips to watch their games, cheering obnoxiously loud and chirping the other teams just to get a smile out of him.

“No, man. What are you doing after?” Travis prodded, being just as nosy as he usually was about his friends lives. You watched the interaction intently, not sure what you were hoping Nolan would say he was doing.

“Nothing.” He mumbled out, though that was his usual method of communicating. Travis looked like he was about to press further, though all he did was mutter a ‘you’re both boring’ as the second period of the game started, distracting him.

You were thankful that for the rest of the night, there was no talk of Valentine’s Day, or relationships, or anything romantic for the rest of the night. Your luck could only last so long, so as you sat in class the following day, the group consisting of you, another girl, and a guy you’ve talked to only a few times, chattering amongst yourselves. You had finished the assigned grovpwork early, giving you time to talk about whatever you wanted. And the girl wanted to talk about her intricate Valentine’s plans with her boyfriend.

She explained to you the itinerary of her night, despite the fact that it was still two days away. She told you about her reservations at a fancy restaurant nearby, how she and her boyfriend were planning on taking a long walk at a local park.

When you told her you were probably just going to stay at home, alone, eating takeout and watching a hockey game, she looked as if you just insulted her way of life.

“You’re not even going out with friends?” She questioned, looking rather affronted for it being a commercial holiday. You shook your head, realizing your cheeks were coloring red when you noticed the boy in your group was watching your interaction intently.

“I’m the only single one, not really looking to crash any dates.” You shrugged, glancing away from her when you felt your phone buzz. Usually, you try your best not to check the device during class, but you were glad you did when you saw a text from Nolan.

wanna get lunch after your class? I can pick you up

You smiled to yourself, unable to fight off the subconscious reaction, as you responded, telling him that you’d only go if you got to pick. You didn't expect a reply, so when your phone buzzed again so soon after you had clicked off your device, you were mildly surprised to see that he had told you ‘of course’ followed by a winky face. You rolled your eyes at his text despite that fact that he couldn’t see it only to look up again and spot the boy in your group watching you with a small smile on his face.

He didn't get the chance to say anything, because your professor spoke up and started going over the assignment.  You glanced at the clock, anxiously bouncing your leg. Your newly made plans with Nolan were going to make the next twenty minutes of your class unbearable.

It gave you time to think about your relationship with Nolan. Thoughts you usually pushed to the side you indulged as a way to make the time pass quicker. You definitely felt something for him, but you had yet to delve into what exactly that meant. You weren’t trying to be oblivious, but it just felt wrong to admit that you had feelings for one of your closest friends.

It wasn’t as if your feelings were reciprocated. You were left to pine away after the man you had a standing movie night with, the one who turned to you for comfort when his migraines were too much to handle on his own, and the one who made sure you were invited to any team events. He was simply untouchable, and you were trying to make do with admiring from afar.

The sound of people packing up drew you back to reality and you followed suit after them. You had made it out of the door and were headed towards the exit of the building, knowing just where Nolan would be to pick you up from experience. As you reached for the door, another hand shot forward and opened it for you, and you glanced up momentarily to see the boy from you group. You smiled, muttering a quiet ‘thank you’ as you continued on your way.

“So no plans for Valentine’s Day?” You sighed at his question, a bit dramatically that made him laugh. “Yeah, that’s how I feel about it too. My friends won’t stop pestering me.”

“If I get asked about it one more time I’m going to scream.” You joked, though there was a hint of truth behind it. He smiled at this, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as he continued to walk the same way as you. You spotted Nolan’s car parked in the same area he usually did whenever he picked you up, but he didn't see you as he was looking at something on his phone.

“I was wondering if, maybe, you wanted to go to dinner with me then? We could get our friends to stop asking.” He asked, and you nearly turned him down, but then a thought occurred to you.

You couldn't be hung up on Nolan forever, and this seemingly very nice boy from one of your classes was asking you out for a date on Valentine’s Day. It was simple for you to agree, and before you really knew what was happening you were exchanging numbers and you separated, telling him you had plans for lunch with a friend, but would see him later.

You wore an uneasy smile as you climbed into Nolan’s car, him dropping his phone as soon as he heard you open the door. He raised a brow at you, but nonetheless returned the greeting you extended as you clicked your seatbelt on.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Nolan asked, and you rolled your eyes at the comment, smile turning genuine.

“I have a date for Valentine’s Day.” You had been busy checking your phone, and had missed the way Nolan’s jaw tightened momentarily. He forced himself to relax, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel so it wasn't so white-knuckled just as you looked back up to see what was taking him so long to respond. You told yourself that it was just because he was focused on maneuvering through traffic and that it had nothing to do with his nonexistent feelings for you.

“But you hate Valentine’s Day.” Nolan commented, causing you to playfully roll your eyes.

“That’s not the point.” You explained, earning only a quick confused look from the man driving before he turned his focus back to the road. “The point is, I’m going on a date and I haven't gone on one in forever.”

“Good for you, I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders, and you bit your bottom lip to stop yourself from shouting at how nonchalant he was being about the whole situation. Some selfish part of you wanted him to act jealous, though you knew he wouldn't. “Where did you want to eat?”

Collecting yourself quickly, you rattled off your favorite restaurant and tried to push down the disappointment that he didn't have anything else to say. It was underwhelming, to say the least. You hadn’t agreed to a date in forever because you knew that you were feeling something for Nolan and it didn’t seem fair to whoever asked you out that you were just using them to try and get over someone else.

You were being selfish, but you just wanted a bigger reaction from Nolan.

Valentine’s Day rolled around soon enough and by the time you had gotten out of class, you had to rush home to get ready for your date. You showered quickly, drying your hair and styling it a little nicer than you usually did. You threw on your outfit, preplanned and laid out on your bed for when you were ready.

Even in the midst of racing around in order to be ready on time, you still found a spare moment to send Nolan a good luck text. Even if he wasn't playing, he was still part of the team and deserved to be treated as such.

When your date for the night arrived, he brought you the typical flowers, which you gratefully took and placed in a vase that you set on your kitchen table.

“I was going to get you some chocolates, but that felt too corny and I kinda got the feeling that you aren't exactly a fan of Valentine’s Day.” He joked and you laughed, agreeing that the day that celebrated love was not your favorite day.

The dinner was nice, and when he offered to take you on a walk around the block to talk some more, you agreed. As the waiter brought the check out, you checked your phone and were glad to see that the Flyers had won their game, shooting Nolan a quick congratulatory text before tucking your phone away.

“So who else is there?” Your date asked after a moment of silence, the two of you having left the restaurant a few minutes prior. You shot him a confused look, not sure what he was taking about and he gave you a look that read he wasn’t going to let you back down. “Unless I’m ready everything wrong, this was a good date. But, you’re not feeling it, and you keep checking your phone. So, I either totally blew it or you already have feelings for someone else.”

You smiled nervously, wondering if everyone was just as intuitive as him and he was the only one that bothered to call you out or your annoyance at Nolan’s complete disinterest that you were on a date was obvious.

“You were great, but...” You sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself despite your coat protecting you from the cold. You were more or less hiding yourself from admitting your feelings.

“What’s his name? Or hers, I don’t judge.” He asked, nudging you with his elbow as you trailed off. You smiled up at him, wondering how you got so lucky to go on a date with a guy who understood that you just weren’t feeling it.

“Nolan.” You admitted, feeling strange having said his name in the context of who you would rather be with in the moment.

“Like the Nolan Patrick that picked you up the other day?” He questioned, and you nodded, remembering that he practically walked you to his car and would’ve recognized him. He had mentioned that he was a Flyers fan. “Honestly, I’m just glad you gave me the time of day if my competition was Nolan Patrick, pro athlete. Plus, I think you’ve told four different stories about him tonight.” This time, it was your turn to nudge him, your smile wide and cheeks burning bright red.

“There’s no competition.” You mumbled, focusing on the ground as you stepped and ignoring this last sentence. You found yourself having circled the block, ending up back by his car. He leaned against the passenger door, not letting you in so you were forced to meet his gaze, brow quirked up and giving you a look that screamed ‘don’t play dumb’ which you pointedly pretended not to notice.

“We’re talking about the same guy who picked your grandparents up from the airport because you didn't want to send them in an Uber alone and you had an exam?” He questioned, and you regretted mentioning the story after he had shared some of his own airport horror stories. But the story warmed your heart, as Nolan had heard you complaining about how you were going to have to teach your grandparents how to use Uber, and offered without so much as a second though to collect them.

“He took them to lunch, too.” You confessed, not sure why you felt the need to tell him this, though he smiled widely at you, kicking his foot out to poke to shin with his toe.

“Sounds like competition to me. No guy takes some else’s grandparents out to lunch if he doesn't have feelings for them.” He explained, and you shook your head rapidly, not wanting to entertain the idea that Nolan liked you.

“It’s not like that, I told him we were going out and he acted as if he didn't care at all.” You sighed, and your date for the evening rolled his eyes at you, stepping aside to open the passenger side door for you.

“He thinks you like someone else, so he’s not going to get mad at you for it but he’s clearly not going to be excited.” He explained, shutting your door for you before heading around to the driver’s side. Your phone started buzzing just as he opened the door, and you fished your phone out of your pocket to see Nolan’s face on your screen. You were about to ignore it to not seem rude to your date, but he must’ve seen the screen because he chuckled, smiling genuinely. “Answer it.” You shot him an apologetic smile, following his command before raising the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You spoke, wincing at how awkward and stilted it sounded coming out of your mouth.

“Hey. Is your date over?” Nolan asked, somehow sounding relaxed but tense at the same time. He was probably sitting on his couch, alone, since you knew that Kevin had plans for the night.

“It’s just ending, what’s up?” You wanted to know the reason for his call, and why he thought you were still out but chose to reach out to you anyways. Your date’s words, telling you Nolan had feelings for you.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to come over, but if you’re still hanging out with him—”

“No, I can come over.” The excitement in your voice had your date laughing as he started the car, muttering for you to show him the way. The hand that wasn’t holding your phone up to your ear tapped a nervous pattern on your leg. “Like right now?”

“Yeah, right now.” The way Nolan said the simple affirmation had your heart skipping a beat in your chest. You wanted nothing more than to be able to read his body language to see if you were reading too much into things, or if he really did want to see you as much as he sounded.

“I’ll be there soon.” You told him, bidding him goodbye before hanging up at looking to your date, going to apologize for the way things were ending tonight but stopping short when you spotted the shit-eating grin his face. “Not a word.”

“Fine, but just remember me when you’re dating.” You wanted to shove his shoulder, but he was driving so you chose to ignore it, telling him to turn at the light.

“Thanks for being so cool about this.” You said honestly, because you knew some guys wouldn't handle their Valentine’s Day date having feelings for someone else, and even less would offer to drive them to his apartment. He waved you off, pulling a face that showed that it wasn't a big deal to him.

“We can still be friends, because I had a great time tonight, even if you like this other guy.” You nodded enthusiastically, making plans to meet up after one of your shared classes the following week. By the time you pulled up out front of Nolan’s apartment, you were buzzing with both excitement for your newfound friendship and nerves for what he had insinuated. You hadn’t gotten his words out of your head, saying that people who were just friends didn't take the other’s grandparents out to lunch. 

You bid him goodbye and slide out of his car, and he only pulled away once you gave him a thumbs up from inside the building. As you waited for the elevator, you felt your leg begin to bounce in nerves. You weren’t quite sure what had you so anxious, you had gone Nolan’s apartment a hundred and one times before, and you had never had any hesitation before. 

But as you raised your fist and knocked on the door you were mildly surprised when the door swung open seconds after, like he had been waiting for you. His gaze landed on you but quickly searched behind you and after spotting that you were alone, did he smile at you. It was small, but it made you heart skip a beat as usual. 

“Can I come in?” You teased, trying to ease the heaviness that seemed to settle between the two of you. Nolan nodded, cheeks tinging just slightly more pink as he stepped to the side to let you past. 

“So how was the date?” He asked, voice sounding just a little bit too stilted for a friend asking such a question. The tone in which he asked had you unable to look at him, instead you watched your feet as you headed to his kitchen to retrieve yourself a glass of water. 

“It was good, we’re getting lunch after class this week.” You explained, turning just in time to see his shoulders drop. You raised a brow, but he was avoiding your gaze and you didn't feel like confronting him about his reaction. You filled the glass, turning to lean backwards against the counter as he sat at the kitchen island. “Just as friends, though. We didn't really have a connection in that way.”

At this, Nolan’s head perked up and you tried not to read too much into the hopeful look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You really tried not to read into the way he did not sound sorry in the slightest. 

“It’s fine. I’d rather hang out and watch a movie, anyways.” You shrugged, leading the way to the living room, ignoring the way he laughed at your disinterest in the romantic holiday. You claimed your spot on the couch, grabbing the remote to pick the movie. Usually, the two of you fought over who chose what you watched, but you heard no protests from Nolan as you clicked through the options. 

“Can I say something?” He asked, a nervous edge to his voice that had you glancing up to find him leaning against the doorframe that led into the kitchen. His arms were crossed firmly across his chest and somehow his cheeks were even rosier. Your brows were tugged together in confusion, but you nodded, shifting your position on the couch so that you were facing him. “You can't say anything until I’m done, though.” You nodded again, although a little more hesitantly, unsure of what he would want to say.

Even after you told him you would let him speak undeterred, it took him a minute to organize what he wanted to say. Your heart was beating against your chest, and all you could think about was the insinuations your date had made earlier in the night about how Nolan felt about you. You were probably being ridiculous, but you were wondering if he was going to confess the feelings you desperately wished he help for you but knew he didn’t.

“Tonight fucking sucked.” He started, ever so eloquently and you had to stop yourself from snorting at him. He continued, but not after pursing his lips and frowning deeply, evidence that he didn't want his thoughts to come out the way it did. “I didn't want you to go out tonight. I wanted to hang out with my best friend and watch dumb movies.” He hesitated once more, gesturing to you when he mentioned his friend. “But then I realized that I didn't really want to hang out with my best friend.” 

There was a pause, as he tried to let the impact of his words settle in on you. You were a little confused, and a little hurt, since he looked like he swallowed something bitter when he called you his friend, and he hadn’t even looked at you since he started talking. You weren’t totally sure what he was talking about, but you were sitting up as straight as you had ever in your seat.

“I wanted to hang out with you, yeah, I always do, but I realized that I wanted to be the one that took you to dinner tonight.” You felt like your heart stopped in your chest, or maybe it was beating so fast you couldn't feel it. You weren’t sure that he was insinuating what you thought he was, but you had a feeling you knew where this was going. You must’ve been silent for too long, because suddenly he was standing up straight and retreating into the kitchen. “Forget I said anything, if you want to leave I understand—”

“No, hold on.” You jumped to your feet, shouting at his back as he was dead set on hiding away. You followed, finding him standing over the sink, back to you. Which was a shame, because he could see the nearly overwhelming smile on your face. “Did you just admit that you wanted to be my Valentine's Day date?”

“You don’t have to make fun of me for it, just because you don't feel the same.” Nolan snapped, the tone he used rarely ever directed at you and usually given to reporters who asked him annoying questions. 

“Nolan, shut up.” You giggled, causing him to face you, a pout evident on his face. A combination of just how well you knew Nolan and the way he was acting told you that he was being serious and he had been thinking on this for a while. “If it makes you feel any better, I wanted you to be my Valentine’s Day date too.”

The way his brows shot up drew a giggle out of you, and the way a smile broke out across his face as you releasing a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. He leaned back against the counter, mimicking your position from earlier, and beckoned you over. When you got within arms length of him, he snagged both your wrists and tugged you close, causing you to stumble into him and brace yourself against his chest. 

“I should have asked earlier.” Nolan mumbled, arms wrapped around you and not allowing you to step away from him, even if you wanted, which you really, really, did not want to. You hummed in response, hoping that he couldn’t feel how rapidly your heart was beating in your chest. 

“Honestly, just hanging with you is better than going out to dinner.” You confessed, snaking your arms around his torso and pressing your cheek into him as you hugged him tightly. It was soothing to hear his heartbeat under your ear and even a little affirming to realize he was just as nervous as you are. He dropped a kiss to the top of your head, and you pulled away slightly to smile widely up at him. 

“Did you pick out a movie?” He questioned, pushing off the counter and tugging you by your entwined hands to the couch. You shook your head, snagging the remote from where you had left it before joining him on the couch. He tugged you into his side, and you rested your head on shoulder as if you had done a thousand times. 

And you had, but that had been when there was a clear distinction between you as just friends. But now there was an implication of something more that that your stomach doing summersaults. 

“Does mean I can tell Travis we’re dating now, so he’ll leave me alone?” Nolan questioned, and you sympathized with him, knowing just how capable TK was of being a pest. Still, you shook your head rapidly. Nolan’s face fell for a moment, the arm he had snuck around your waist tightening slightly. “Why not?” You grinned mischievously at him, the simple action causing the tension to leave his shoulders. 

“Ask me again at midnight, our anniversary is not going to be fucking Valentine’s Day.”

[buckybarnesdollface]

Bruised

Summary: It takes a rescue mission & a near-death experience for Bucky to admit how he feels.

Warnings: Violence, Smut

         With one final rough shove of my shoulder, the heavy metal door gave way with a groan of protest. Blinking a few times to allow my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting that the underground dungeon – unsettlingly medieval in its appearances – provided, I made my way along the damp, chilled corridor, keeping my eyes and ears trained for any sign of life.

           Spending my first Thanksgiving as an Avenger in the dungeon of a HYDRA facility in Austria had been the last thing I had planned to do, but when Steve had informed the team that Bucky had been captured during a mission him and Sam had been on, I had been the first person to agree to help Sam and Steve rescue him. The team knew Bucky and I were friends – the best of friends, actually – so they hadn’t been surprised at my insistence on helping. What they didn’t know, however, was that my feelings ran much deeper than friendship.

           About halfway down the corridor, I heard a low groan coming from one of the cells. My heartrate picked up its pace as I sprinted forward. In one of the grimy cells, slumped against the wall like a ragdoll, was Bucky.

           The barred door was locked, but the Stark tech laser in my pocket made quick work of that. As soon as I was inside, I dropped to my knees in front of him.

           “Bucky…?” I breathed, setting a hand on his arm. His normally-blazing skin was cold – apparently even a supersoldier was susceptible to the chill of a damp dungeon in Austria at the end of November. As I repeated his name, more urgently this time, his head lifted slowly.

           Even in the dim lighting of the single bulb outside the cell, I could see how pale he was. He looked sickly, dark smudges under his eyes that had sunken into his face. There were lines in his face that hadn’t been there the last time I’d seen him, and his dark hair hung limply in his eyes. I reached out to brush the dirty locks from his face and he let out a ragged breath.

           “(Y/N)?” he asked, his voice hoarse as recognition and then disbelief took over his features. “(Y/N), what are you doing here? You have to get out of here, they’ll be back soon and if they catch you here –”

           I silenced him with a finger against his lips. “I’m here with Steve and Sam,” I explained. “We came to rescue you, Buck.” I gave him a wry smile, though it didn’t touch my eyes. “No man left behind, remember?”

           The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitched, but when he tried to sit up straighter pain flashed across his face and he let out a sound between a groan and a gasp. Alarmed, I hovered over him, trying to pinpoint the injury. I noticed his right arm was circled protectively around his midsection, and without waiting for his permission I gingerly pulled his arm away and lifted his shirt to inspect the damage.

           I felt bile rise to my throat at the sight. The right side of his abdomen looked as if it had been beaten with a meat mallet, the flesh raw and oozing both blood and pus. The skin around it was black with bruises, and I knew he’d have at least a few broken ribs, if not one or two that were completely shattered. I looked up at him with horrified eyes.

           “Did they…did they just do this to you?” I squeaked, and Bucky shook his head with a grimace.

           “They did this two days ago, doll.”

           “Then why hasn’t it started healing?” One of the advantages of being a supersoldier was that his wounds healed rapidly, but it looked as if nothing had even begun to heal.

           “I think they’ve been poisoning me,” he rasped. “Not enough to kill me, but enough so that none of the effects of the serum work.” He gave a half-smile. “If I’m weak then they can control me. They did something to my arm, too; I can’t move it.”

           Sure enough, his vibranium arm hung limply at his left side. Anger surging through me, my fists clenched at my sides. “Can you stand?” I asked him through gritted teeth.

           “I think so,” he replied, “but (Y/N) –”

           I cut him off, pressing a finger to the comm in my ear. “Guys, I found him,” I said to Steve and Sam. “We’re in the dungeon. Let’s get him out of here.”

           I could hear them both sigh in relief. “Stay where you are, (Y/N),” Steve ordered. “This place is crawling with HYDRA. We’ll come get you.”

           “Change of plans, Cap,” I muttered as I heard footsteps echoing down the stone corridor. Bucky heard them, too; his head shot up towards the cell door. “We’ve got company.”

           Before Steve could say anything more in my ear, I had drawn my pistol from its place in the holster on my thigh. Bucky’s voice rattled from behind me.

           “(Y/N)…” he croaked, and I glanced over my shoulder to see that he’d stood up. I glanced frantically to the cell door and then back to him.

           “What are you doing?” I hissed. “You’re going to get yourself killed!”

           “So are you,” he snapped. “Give me a knife.”

           “Bucky –”      

           “I know you have at least three on you, (Y/N). Now give me one of them so I’m not unarmed.”

           Begrudgingly, I pulled the knife from my belt and handed it to him. Bucky took it, wincing as the movement disturbed his broken ribs, but then he straightened his spine next to me and gave me a curt nod. Injuries aside, he had my back and I’d be damned if I didn’t have his as well.

           The footsteps got louder, and then three men armed with pistols rounded the corner and came into view. Acting quickly, I lunged and kicked the pistol from the first man’s grip. It went flying a good thirty feet down the dim corridor, and although he was momentarily stunned from the unexpected assault the other two men wasted no time. One raised his pistol and aimed it at me while the other lunged for Bucky. I managed to dodge the bullet in time to raise my own pistol and shoot my attacker in the leg. The first man, having recovered from his shock, came at me with a knife as his comrade fell to the dirty stone floor with a strangled cry.

           He reached for my gun, and although I was quick, he was quicker. He grabbed my wrist in a vice-like grip and bent it backwards until I screamed in pain and dropped the pistol, which he then kicked into a dark corner of the cell. With a grunt I managed to twist away from the man and landed a well-placed kick to his groin. He crumpled with a curse in Russian and I chanced a quick glance at Bucky. The large man he was fighting still held his gun, but it looked as though he didn’t intend to use it – No doubt HYDRA wanted to keep Bucky alive so they could use him.

           Bucky, on the other hand, was losing both strength and balance quickly. His steps were unsteady and he was breathing heavily as him and the bigger man circled around like two dogs in a fight. My attention was quickly diverted, though, when the cell was filled with the deafening shot of a pistol once again. This time my reflexes weren’t fast enough, and the bullet grazed my upper arm. I let out a strangled curse as pain shot through me, but it wasn’t fatal so with a snarl I drew my knife from my thigh holster and lunged at the man.

         We crashed into the stone wall, both scrambling for the upper hand. I fought to wrestle the gun from his grip; he was a small man, roughly my size, but stronger. He managed to flip me around so my back was pressed to his chest as an arm tightened around my throat, constricting my air flow. I struggled to get free, and managed to sink my knife into a fleshy thigh. The man cried out and released me, and in a split second I spun around and elbowed him in the face, which in turn jarred his head against the stone wall behind him with a sickening crunch.

         I had time neither to catch my breath nor check to see how Bucky was doing before the other man was coming at me again. I had only one weapon left; a small knife tucked into my boot that I had now pulled out. I gripped it tightly in my sweaty hand, still gasping for breath as the man advanced on me. I chanced the first swing but came up short, earning me a hard blow to the stomach that knocked the wind out of me and definitely cracked a rib or two. I fell to my knees, but as I reached for the knife I had dropped a large brown boot kicked it away from me and then a large hand grabbed roughly onto my hair and yanked me off the floor and into the air. I screamed in pain, but he only grinned a yellow-toothed grin and tightened his hold as pain shot through my scalp.

        “Now you die,” he said, his Russian accent thick, but as he lifted his free hand to my throat another hand reached up and plunged a knife – my knife – into his own throat. The man’s eyes widened as he let go of me, and as I dropped to my feet he staggered back and collapsed lifeless to the floor. I noticed that the man Bucky had been fighting was also lying motionless across the cell. Bucky stood in front of me, his shirt soaked through with blood and a black eye already forming, his broad chest heaving with exertion. He staggered a bit, and I lurched forward to catch him as best I could before he crashed to the stone floor.

       Steve and Sam found us not long after, the two of them taking Bucky, now unconscious, from my arms and lifting his limp body out of the cell. I grabbed one of the discarded guns and followed, exhausted but on guard for any attackers jumping out of the darkness.

        We got Bucky to the quinjet, where Sam and Steve gently laid him down on the cushioned bench seat before making sure we hadn’t been followed. As Sam prepared to take off, Steve looked at me with concerned eyes.

       “Are you alright?” he asked, and I nodded.

       “I’m fine. I’ve had worse,” I answered. “I’m more worried about Buck. They did something to his arm, and they’ve poisoned him so he isn’t healing like he should. He has some shattered ribs and possibly an infection, among some smaller injuries. We need to get him back to the compound as quickly as possible.”

       Steve nodded, but then the look on my face must have been concerning because something in his own expression changed. He stepped forward to set a comforting hand on my shoulder.

       “He’s gonna be alright, (Y/N),” he assured me. “He’s been through far worse; he’ll get through this, too.”

        I hadn’t even realized I had tears in my eyes, but now I swiped at them fiercely with the sleeve of my tactical jacket. I glanced at the limp body on the bench and struggled to swallow the lump in my throat.

       “It just kills me to see him like this,” I finally managed to whisper. “He’s always so strong and fierce and healthy. Look what they’ve done to him, Stevie.” My face hardened. “I’m going to kill every one of them.”

        To my surprise, Steve chuckled. “He’s lucky to have you,” he mused, giving my uninjured arm a squeeze. “Don’t worry, kiddo; we’ll get him home and back to being your Bucky in no time, I promise.”

       My Bucky. My cheeks flushed at Steve’s words, and as I was overthinking what he had said he gave me a warm smile and then headed to the cockpit to accompany Sam. I was still overthinking when I heard a rustling coming from the bench behind me.

       “(Y/N)?” Bucky breathed, and I turned to find him looking up at me with weary eyes. I was kneeling beside him in seconds, my hand smoothing the hair from his face.

       “I’m here, Buck,” I murmured soothingly. “You’re safe now, it’s alright.”

       “Have you…have you been crying?”

        Ducking my head, I cursed for not doing a better job of keeping my emotions in check. Bucky went to reach his flesh hand towards my face, but when his outstretched arm caused him to grimace, he instead settled for laying a hand on my arm.

       “Don’t cry, doll,” he murmured. “I’m okay, I’m alive.” He cracked a weak smile. “You saved me.”

        I met his gaze. “But what if we were too late?” I retorted. “Buck, you could have died! Or they could have…”

        I trailed off, but I didn’t need to finish my sentence for either of us to know what I had been going to say. They could have made you the Winter Soldier again. A possibility all too real and all too frightening. I shuddered involuntarily and Bucky pursed his lips.

        “Come here,” he murmured, and I looked at him with my brow furrowed.

        “What?”

        “Come here,” he repeated, and when he started to sit up, I shook my head and pushed him back down gently.

        “Bucky, you need rest,” I protested, but when I looked at his blue eyes – really looked at them – I realized they were burning with an unspoken agony.

        “Stay with me?” he then asked, voice barely above a whisper. “Just stay with me, (Y/N), and hold me, please.”

        My heart broke at the sudden change in his tone, all broken vulnerability. Wordlessly, I stood, and with some effort Bucky lifted himself enough that I could slide onto the bench and then he laid back down with his head pillowed in my lap. His flesh hand held tight to my leg, and my own hands cradled his head and stroked through the tangles in his hair. It was like this that he eventually fell asleep, and I wasn’t too long after him.

        It was Sam that roused us when we got back to New York.

        “We almost didn’t want to wake you; you both looked so peaceful and I’m sure you both need the sleep,” he said with an apologetic smile, “but we gotta get Frosty here to the infirmary right away.”

        Bucky, who had sat up with the help of Steve, glared at Sam. “I told you not to call me that, Wilson,” he grumbled, and Sam flashed him a grin.

       “Would you prefer ‘old man’?”

       “Alright, that’s enough messing around,” I intervened, noticing the sweat beading on Bucky’s forehead. He was still in pain. “Let’s get to the infirmary so Dr. Cho can do her thing.”

       It took both Steve and Sam to hold Bucky up and help him off the quinjet and to the elevator, and even though they were doing their best not to jostle him I watched as his eyes tightened in a wince with every step he took. I wanted to push Sam away so I could hold him myself, but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to hold up half the weight of a supersoldier that couldn’t stand on his own.

       “F.R.I.D.A.Y., take us to the infirmary,” Steve ordered the AI as we all piled into the elevator.

       “Right away, Captain Rogers,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied, and then the elevator moved up. Bucky was now leaning heavily against Steve, breaths coming out ragged and hollow. When he caught me watching him, he forced a grin onto his tired face.

       “Don’t worry, doll, ‘s not as bad as it looks,” he told me with an attempt at nonchalance, but I shook my head and narrowed my eyes at him.

       “We’ll let Dr. Cho be the judge of that,” I retorted, just as the elevator stopped and the doors slid open to reveal the infirmary. Either F.R.I.D.A.Y. or Steve had warned of our arrival because Dr. Cho was already waiting for us, as well as a handful of nurses and Tony.

       “Bring him in here,” Dr. Cho said, motioning to one of the operating rooms. “We have to get that poison out of his system and do something about those shattered ribs.”

       “And I need to take a look at the arm,” Tony added, and Bucky nodded as Steve and Sam led him into the room and carefully laid him on the operating table. I followed, but as Dr. Cho administered a sedative to Bucky, Steve turned to me and shook his head.

       “Go get yourself seen to,” he said.

       “But Steve –”

        His large hand was gentle but firm as he steered me towards the door. “You have a bullet wound in your arm that needs to be disinfected and stitched, and judging from the way you’ve been holding yourself you’ve got a couple of cracked ribs. You aren’t a supersoldier; your injuries aren’t going to heal well on their own.”

        “Bucky’s injuries are more important than mine right now,” I protested in exasperation. I tried to twist away from Steve and duck past him back into the room, but the pain in my ribs stopped me and Steve arched a blonde eyebrow at me pointedly.

       “Bucky is in good hands, (Y/N),” he assured me. “If anything changes, I’ll come get you. But for now you just have to trust that Dr. Cho knows what she’s doing, and go take care of yourself before your own injuries get any worse.”

        I wanted to argue, but I knew he was right. With a sigh, I glanced once more at Bucky’s now-still body on the operating table before I let one of the nurses usher me out of the room.

        The nurse cleaned and stitched up the gunshot wound, and then gave me painkillers for the fractured ribs I had. As I slid stiffly off the table, Natasha came into the room.

        “How you feeling?” she asked, and I frowned.

        “Fine. It’s Bucky I’m worried about. I’m going to see him.”

         Natasha sidestepped me as I beelined for the door. I shot her my best death glare, but she stood her ground.

        “Steve told me what happened,” she said. “And while I understand why you’re worried about Bucky, you need to worry about yourself as well, (Y/N). I don’t think you’ve slept at all since you found out he’d been captured, and you probably haven’t eaten much either. I ordered pizza, it’s in the kitchen. Come eat some and then you can go upstairs and get some rest. You need it.”

        I shook my head. “I can’t sleep,” I argued. “I have to be awake when Steve comes to get me so I can see Bucky.”

        I could tell Natasha fought not to roll her eyes. “Fine,” she sighed. “We’ll grab some pizza and watch a movie in the common room, then. But you have to do something other than pace around worrying.”

        Begrudgingly, I agreed, following Natasha to the kitchen. We grabbed some pizza and headed to the common room. I picked at my food and paid little attention to the nineties romantic comedy she had put on, but eventually even my worrying couldn’t compete with my exhaustion and I fell asleep on the couch.

        When I woke up, I was in my bed; Steve must have carried me up to my room at some point. Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Ten forty-two. The blackout curtains in my room made it impossible to discern whether it was ten forty-two in the morning or at night.

        “F.R.I.D.A.Y., what day is it?” I asked.

        “Tuesday, Ms. (Y/L/N),” the AI replied, and I swore softly. I had slept through the whole night. Jumping out of bed and ignoring the pain in my ribs, I stripped out of the tactical outfit I was still wearing and pulled on leggings and a t-shirt.

        “F.R.I.D.A.Y., is Bucky still in the infirmary?”

        “Sergeant Barnes was moved to his own quarters early this morning.”

        Relief flooded through me. That meant he was okay. I pulled open my door and made my way down the hall. The living quarters at the compound took up an entire floor, and Bucky’s room was on the opposite end of the building from mine. When I reached his door, I hesitated before knocking.

        “Come in,” he called from inside, and I opened the door.

        Bucky was standing at his dresser, back to me, wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips. He was looking for a shirt to wear, but when he heard me come in he turned around.

        The breath caught in my throat and I couldn’t help the tears that sprung to my eyes at the sight of him. The flesh of his abdomen that had been beaten raw and bruised black and blue was once again the smooth, unblemished pale gold wall of muscle I was used to. The colour and life had returned to his face, and he held himself without pain. Tony had even managed to fix whatever had been wrong with the vibranium arm; it now once again moved with the same ease as the flesh one.

        “You’re okay,” I breathed, and the tears spilled down my cheeks. I couldn’t help it; after seeing him the way he was yesterday, seeing him now as strong as ever felt as if someone had breathed life into my own body as much as his own.

        A look of alarm crossed Bucky’s face, and then he was across the room and his hands were firm yet soft on my arms. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” he demanded, his blue eyes searching my face. “Why are you crying, doll?”

        I reached up to swipe away my tears embarrassedly. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I just…Yesterday I thought I was going to lose you; you were so weak when I found you. And now…” I shook my head in disbelief. “Now you look as if none of it happened.”

       Bucky’s face softened, and he reached up to catch a stray tear that had rolled down my cheek with his thumb.

       “Because of you,” he murmured. “You found me, (Y/N). You saved me.”

       “No man left behind,” I reminded him, and he chuckled.

       “Steve told me how worried you were,” he said. “He told me that you all but flew the quinjet to Austria yourself when Sam got back and told you what had happened, and how stubborn you were in the infirmary yesterday.”

        I blushed and ducked my head. “Of course I was worried,” I said. “You’re my best friend, Buck. I couldn’t let HYDRA have you, and then even after saving you, you were so weak, I wasn’t sure…” I trailed off and bit my lip. Frowning, Bucky gathered me in his arms. I wanted to melt into his warm embrace, but instead I let out a grunt at the discomfort in my ribs. Bucky immediately let go of me, and I cursed the HYDRA goon for my cracked ribs.

       “Are you hurt?” Bucky asked me worriedly, and I shook my head.

       “Some fractured ribs and stitches in my arm,” I replied breezily. “Nothing I haven’t handled before.”

       Bucky frowned, and then he led me over to the bed and sat me down on the edge of the mattress. “Can I see?” he asked me, inclining his head towards my torso. I nodded wordlessly, and with gentle hands he slid my t-shirt up enough to expose the mottled skin. He swore softly and then looked up to meet my eyes. “Are you sure they aren’t broken? There’s a lot of bruising…”

        “They’re just cracked,” I assured him. “The pain wouldn’t even bother me, except I forgot to take my painkillers in my rush to see you this morning.”

        “Jesus, doll,” he chuckled, and then he stood and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. He was quiet for a couple of minutes before he spoke again, and when he did his voice was softer. “For awhile, while I was trapped in there, I wondered what would happen if I didn’t get out,” he admitted, and my eyes widened.

        “Bucky –” I breathed, but he shook his head.

        “Let me finish, (Y/N),” he insisted, and I pursed my lips. He passed a hand through his dark hair before continuing. “I thought of what would happen if HYDRA had control over me again – What it would mean for me, for our team, and for the rest of the world. I thought about how I’d sooner have them kill me than turn me back into him.”

        Bucky’s jaw clenched, and I felt a lump in my throat. I reached over to set a hand on his flesh arm, and the tense muscles relaxed slightly under my touch.

        “I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want Steve to have to see me like that again, either,” Bucky continued. “And I…” He swallowed hard and kept his eyes focused straight ahead rather than on me. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you seeing me like that, (Y/N). I know you’ve heard the stories, but seeing it firsthand is another thing entirely and I couldn’t risk you looking at me and seeing him instead of me.” He shook his head suddenly and then looked over at me, blue eyes intense and a small smile on his face. “Funny thing is, though, that worry is what kept me going. That, and…”

         Bucky trailed off and ducked his head, and my brow furrowed. A million things were racing through my head, and I needed him to speak and make sense of it all. “And what?” I urged softly. “Bucky, tell me.”

         “When it got really bad, I would think about you,” he finally admitted, in a voice so quiet I had to strain my ears to hear him. “About how your laugh sounded, or the way you smelled like rose petals, or the way you’d scrunch your nose and bite your lip when you’re concentrating on something, or the way your face lights up like a Christmas tree when you see a dog.” He let out a short huff of a laugh and shook his head. “If I focused on all the little things I loved about you, it gave me motivation to get through whatever torture HYDRA inflicted on me, and to come up with some plan of escape. But then you showed up in that cell like my goddamn guardian angel and I knew if we made it out of there alive, I couldn’t let another day pass of me lying to you.”

        At this point my head was swimming, unable to make sense of anything Bucky was saying. “Lying to me…?” I breathed, and he nodded, his cheeks tinted pink.

       “Here’s the thing, doll,” he said quietly. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you. You’re one of my best friends, and although there aren’t enough words in the world to tell you how much I appreciate your friendship, I’d be lying if I said I was truly happy with what we have.” My eyes widened and Bucky shook his head before I could speak. “No, that came out wrong. What I meant to say is that I don’t want us to be friends, (Y/N). I want more than that. I want us to be more than that.”

       Swallowing hard, Bucky stood up and knelt on the floor in front of me. He looked nervous, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he took my small hands in his larger ones. “The truth is…I’m in love with you, (Y/N). I have been for awhile now, but I didn’t want to tell you because you’re the best thing in my life and I didn’t want to lose you. I was already amazed you wanted to be friends with me, I knew there was no way you would ever want more. But after almost losing everything, I…I had to at least tell you.”

        Bucky was silent as he waited for my response, and I could tell he was growing increasingly anxious with every second that passed that I said nothing. My own emotions were a hurricane inside of me, trying to comprehend what he had said to me. This man – this beautiful, kind, perfect superhuman of a man – had just confessed that he was in love with me and that he thought he wasn’t good enough for me? The universe was a strange place.

        “You…you love me?” I finally managed to get out, sounding dumb to my own ears. Bucky nodded, eyes still searching my face anxiously for clues as to what I was thinking.

       “I love you,” he confirmed softly. “And if you don’t feel the same way. (Y/N), that’s fine; I just needed you to hear it, once –”

       He didn’t get to finish, because I had thrown my arms around him, causing him to stumble at the unexpected impact and land on the floor with me in his lap. His eyes were wide and questioning when they met mine, but when I leaned in to press my mouth to his he didn’t resist, moving his mouth against mine as his hands came up to rest on my waist.

        “I love you, too,” I said breathlessly as we broke our kiss for oxygen. I took his face between my hands; his skin was warm and his cheeks were stubbled and it felt so natural, as if it were a gesture I had done a hundred times and not just once. “God, Bucky, I love you. You have no idea how good it feels to finally say it out loud.”

        With a soft little groan that warmed me from head to toe, Bucky captured my lips in another kiss, this one much more urgent and passionate than our first. His hands pulled me closer to him, and because I was still in his lap this placed me right over the front of his sweatpants and the unmistakable bulge underneath them. I hadn’t been expecting it, but I’d be damned if I was just going to ignore it.

        My lips still attached to Bucky’s and my hands clutching at his biceps, I ground my hips experimentally against his. Caught off-guard, Bucky’s lips ceased their assault against mine and a low growl escaped his throat as his hands tightened just slightly on my waist.

       “Doll,” he said, his voice low, “what kinda game are you playing at here?”

       I pulled away enough to see his face. His eyes were blown with lust, the blue irises almost swallowed whole by the pupils. My teeth caught my bottom lip between them and suddenly I wanted him so badly I was aching.

         “I want you,” I whispered, grinding myself against him again, and Bucky’s eyes narrowed. The next thing I knew he was lifting me up and laying me on the mattress, crawling on top of me and capturing my mouth in a searing kiss. One thick thigh slid between my legs to rest against my core, and the contact felt so deliciously wonderful that I let out a breathy moan into Bucky’s mouth. It was at that moment that I knew I was no longer the cat in this game of cat and mouse that we were playing.

       “Bucky…” I whined shamelessly. He detached his lips from mine to trail them down my jaw to my throat.

       “Mmm, doll?”

       Between his kisses and the way his hands were kneading my hips I was dizzy, but I needed more. “I need you to touch me,” I breathed, and I felt him grin against my skin.

       “I am touching you, baby doll,” Bucky murmured, hands teasing the skin just below the hem of my t-shirt. “You’ll have to be more specific than that.”

       I bit back my sigh of exasperation. “Stop teasing,” I then said, and in response Bucky’s teeth grazed against the skin at the pulse point in my throat. I gasped, back arching off the mattress and in turn pressing my aching core against his thigh. This drew a sinful moan from my lips and I could feel the coil in my belly tighten.

         “So responsive,” Bucky murmured appraisingly. “Hard to believe that the same girl who can walk into a HYDRA facility without breaking a sweat is a hot mess after a few well-placed kisses and caresses.”

         “Barnes,” I growled, glaring up at him, “if you don’t take these clothes off me right now, I swear to god you will end up back in that infirmary. And you can explain to Dr. Cho how your dick got –”

        But my sentence was left unfinished because Bucky had silenced me with a mind-numbing kiss. His hands were slowly sliding my shirt up my torso, one hot flesh and one cool vibranium. The contrast had me squirming underneath him. Bucky grinned, but when he crawled down my body to kiss along the path his hands pushing away the shirt left, he stopped, frozen.

       “Buck?” I said, suddenly self-conscious. “Buck, what’s wrong?”

       “(Y/N), we can’t do this,” he said suddenly, and I felt my eyes go wide in confusion. Bucky shook his head. “Your ribs, (Y/N). You’re injured, I’ll just hurt you more.”

       And then I remembered the bruises that covered my abdomen. I shook my head quickly. “Buck, I’m fine,” I protested. “It isn’t that bad. You won’t hurt me –”

       “I don’t want to take that chance.”

        “We can go slow! Just…please, Buck…” I looked at him with wide eyes. “I need you, so bad that if I don’t have you pretty soon I’m gonna explode.”

        This may have been an exaggeration, but I sure as hell felt that way. Bucky had barely touched me yet, but electricity coursed through my veins so strongly that I was sure the only way to release it was him. I hated begging, but he was looking at me with doubt clouding his eyes. “Please,” I breathed.

        Bucky sighed, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I never could say no to a pretty dame,” he murmured. “Especially one who’s practically beggin’ me to take her.”

        His Brooklyn accent came out and I could feel a fresh wave of heat between my thighs. Bucky pressed a few soft kisses to my bruises before looking up at me.

        “I’ll be gentle,” he murmured, and I frowned.

         “Bucky, I won’t break,” I protested, and he shook his head with a faint smile.

        “I said I’d be gentle, not that I’d be boring.” With that he slid my t-shirt up and over my head, revealing that I hadn’t been wearing a bra. He cocked a dark eyebrow at me playfully as he tossed my shirt to the floor, and under his gaze my body grew flushed. He cupped my breasts in his hands and I let out a soft sigh of contentment at finally being touched.

        “So beautiful,” he murmured, thumbs brushing over my nipples and drawing them to attention. I moaned, arching my back into his touch, and he chuckled before leaning in to take a nipple into his mouth. I squirmed underneath him, and when his flesh hand skimmed along my body to dip under the waistband of both my leggings and my underwear, I had to fight to keep my breathing even.

        “Oh!” I gasped as Bucky’s fingers swept through my slick folds and then found my clit. He groaned, mouth releasing my nipple as his fingers continued their exploration of my heat.

        “Fuck, doll, you’re soaked,” he said, voice husky. “Goddamn…”

        “I told you I needed you…” I keened as he slipped one, then two fingers inside me. “And fuck, Bucky, as good as that feels I need you, now. I can’t wait any longer. I want you inside of me.”

       In no time at all Bucky had stripped him and I of the rest of our clothes, and then he was pressing his lips to mine as he slid his hard length through my folds. I bucked my hips up into his, and he finally pushed the head of his cock into me, eliciting groans from both of us.

        He pulled back out until just the tip remained in me, and then slowly slid back in, sheathing himself a little further this time. He continued this until he was fully enveloped inside me, allowing me a moment to adjust to his size. His forehead rested against mine, hot breath fanning against my face, and I tilted my head up to capture his lips in a kiss.

         “I’m good,” I said breathily. His eyes met mine imploringly.

         “I’m not hurting you?”

         “No,” I assured him. “You’re doing quite the opposite, I promise.”

         Bucky grinned, and then he set a languid pace, dragging his length in and out of me tantalizingly slow. He had promised to be gentle and he was, his thrusts controlled and unhurried, but his hands and lips roaming the curves of my flesh as he moved inside of me had my body ablaze and I realized what he’d meant when he said he wouldn’t be boring. This wasn’t sex, this was love-making; every tender kiss and caress had me spiralling closer to release at a much quicker rate than I had thought possible for the pace we had set.

        Suddenly Bucky’s arms were circling behind my back and he was lifting me, still inside me, into his lap so we were face to face and my legs straddled his hips. With this new angle he filled me even more completely, and I bit my lip.

        Bucky’s strong arms were still curled around me, and he was looking at me with pure adoration. I reached up to trace a hand along his jaw softly and he smiled.

         “I love you,” he murmured, and I leaned in to kiss him.

         “I love you too, Bucky,” I whispered, and then he was thrusting up into me and I was gripping his shoulders to ground myself. Both of us already so tightly wound and drunk on each other, it only took a few thrusts before we both found our release. I let my body go limp against Bucky’s as we came down from our high, and then he smoothed a hand over my hair and pressed a kiss to my neck.

         “I should have told you I love you sooner,” he murmured, and I chuckled, nuzzling my face against his shoulder.

         “I have a feeling you’ll more than make up for it,” I teased. “You can start by getting me some food, Barnes. I’m starving.”

         Bucky laughed, the sound vibrating through his whole body and in turn through mine as we were still joined together. And in that moment I couldn’t think of a time I had ever been happier.

[nisaeiam]

Timeless - an ACOTAR fanfic

After spending her entire life in Cretea, Zivia finds herself in the company of the Night Court, sent as an emissary to help after the war. As she navigates her way outside her once secluded life, she develops unlikely bonds with the people around her - especially with the one wreathed in shadows.

PROLOGUE, CHAPTER 1, CHAPTER 2, CHAPTER 3, , CHAPTER 5, CHAPTER 6, CHAPTER 7, CHAPTER 8

Also posted on ff HERE

CHAPTER IX

The clouds covering the moon parted, illuminating them as they stood back to back at the center of the clearing. Zivia tried summoning her powers but to no avail and she felt Azriel tense behind her, probably doing the same.

There were more than a dozen of them scattered around. She felt for the dagger strapped on her thighs. No illusions could hide them now. They could make a run for it, but who knew how many more of them were there, staying hidden among the shadows of the trees. And flying was totally out of their option as it would make them an easy target. They could end up tattered in arrows before they could even reach a safe distance.

So they did nothing.

They couldn't harm these people, not if they were going to vie for their trust. They have to get out of this situation in the most non-aggressive way possible.

"It's okay," she said to no one in particular. "We bring no ill intentions. We won't do anything to you."

Silence.

"We come in peace," she tried again, taking a single step forward.

An arrow bolted through from somewhere among the bushes, missing her by a few inches.

"Doesn't seem like they can be reasoned with," muttered Azriel as he unsheathed his weapon as well.

At the same time, they leaped from where they were standing and barreled towards the trees. Arrows rained down on them but they were quick. Their powers may be gone but the heightened abilities of being a faerie were still there. As her eyes adjusted, she spotted a man hidden among the tree trunks to her right. She hurtled her dagger at him before he could nock another arrow. Her knife hit him on his chest, hard enough that he stumbled back but not enough to kill him. She went to retrieve her dagger then struck him with its hilt to knock him out.

A pain tore through her left calf and she turned to see the brute bald man from the tavern, weapons on his hands.

"I knew I wasn't just seeing things," he hissed as he threw another knife at her. She caught it easily with her hands.

"What? Still bitter about being rejected?"

"I'm going to kill you!"

The man lunged at her with all his might, but it was apparent that he wasn't used to fighting. He made so many unnecessary movements and was unsteady on his feet that it took her less than a minute to take him down.

Another group of men appeared before she could restrain him. One of them swung his sword at her and she leaped backwards, lifting her dagger just in time to deflect another attack from behind. Another one joined then another until there were ten of them in the fight. They circled her with their weapons drawn and pointed at her.

"My, my. What's a female to do when surrounded by all these men?" she said with a serious expression on her face.

"Monster!" shouted one of them and they all fell upon her.

She took every blow defensively and attacked with caution so as not to fatally injure any of them. It took longer than she expected to take them all down. Her skill was more effective when used in full force and holding back made her slower.

"You're all murderers."

The bald man was slumped against a tree, cowering in fear. He was looking at her with undiluted hatred in his eyes. "Monsters! I hope they killed your brother!"

Brother?

It took her a few seconds to process what he said. Shit.

They were separated at some point but she didn't notice as she was busy fighting off these men that she totally forgot about Azriel. She frantically looked around for any sign of him when a scream cut through the air, she hastened to where the sound came from and found about a hundred men surrounding a visibly tired Azriel, who was holding a man by the throat. A dozen bodies lay unmoving at his feet.

She cursed herself again. These people laid out a trap and they fell right into it. It was probably the information they got from the baron's son that led them to believe that he was the only faerie between the two of them. She wasn't sure what led them to that conclusion but to hell with that now. As she fought with their initial force, Azriel was lured away into a larger group of men that were waiting to ambush him. Nobody made it to inform them of the other fae in their midst.

She hurtled her daggers to the man closest to the shadowsinger. His head whipped to her a fraction earlier than those surrounding him and as their attention turned to her, he took the opportunity to take down some of them. Everything erupted to chaos as they all scrambled to decide who is going to attack who. During an exchange of blows with a lanky guy holding a spear, she felt a faint dab of her powers returning. She shoved her opponent out of the way and reached out her hand, taking hold of the air around them – then pulled. The men collapsed to the ground as one, going utterly limp. The entirety of her magic hasn't returned yet and she buckled by the force of that maneuver.

"Zivia!" blurted Azriel and ran towards her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She gulped. "Just a little worn out."

He helped her onto her feet and as they stood next to each other, she realized that he was also panting.

"They aren't dead, are they?" He turned towards the swarm of bodies covering the forest floor.

"No, just passed out. I pulled the air from their lungs. They'll be down for the rest of the night." A man at her feet grunted and she kicked him hard in the stomach. "At least most of them will. How are you?"

"Fine. A few scratches here and there." His black wings rustled a bit when he sheathed his weapon back onto his back. "I actually find it harder to fight when you have no intention to kill."

"Uh-uh," she agreed, brushing off the twigs that were caught in her hair when she ran through the woods looking for him. "We should get out of here."

They went back to the cave to tend to their wounds and gather their remaining supplies before continuing on with their journey. By the time they left the cave, the effects of the faebane has entirely worn out and they traveled the rest of the way concealed in Azriel's shadows. At the crack of dawn, Zivia made sure to make the necessary changes in their appearance as she cast their illusion, just in case those men came looking for them again and they risk being recognized. Thankfully, they were able to reach the city of trades without any problem. Furthermore, they found a dealer who was willing to give them a ride into his carriage that will take them to Liria.

"Let me get this right," said Azriel when the merchant was gone to pack more supplies and they were left tending to his carriage. "I am to act as if you're my daughter?"

It was so hard not to laugh at his reaction. The first time he found out was when they were asking around the dealers and she introduced him as her father. His head whipped to her and looked as if saying, what did you just say?

"Word's already gotten out that a pair of fae siblings were on a rampage around the Continent after somebody found the bodies on the mountain pass last night."

"We could have passed as cousins."

"No. can. Do." She muttered in time as she tightened the reins on the horses. "They'll know that we're just the same age – or at least close to each other's age. They're going to suspect nonetheless."

"Humans aren't that gullible."

"Clearly you haven't been with them for a long time. They can be too smart for their own good."

"Alright, but why am I the father?"

She craned her neck to look at him over the carriage. "You should've told me that. I would have loved to dote on you as my son."

He made a subtle gesture that can normally be considered an eye roll and continued strapping the loads into the cart. After finishing with the horses, she rounded the wagon to help him.

"Not to worry, you still look good as an old man." she teased as they both lifted a particularly heavy box.

"First, I was your brother, now I am your father. So what's it going to be next huh?"

"Well who knows, I might become your wife ne – " Good Mother above.

His brows shot up as he turned to her.

"Of course I was just kidding, hah!" She feigned nonchalance but the words came out of her mouth a little shaky and rushed. Avoiding his stare, she pointed towards the storehouses. "I'm going to look if he's gonna need some help." Then darted to where the merchant has gone off to, all the while cursing at herself.

An hour before noon, they were finally able to pack all the items and hit the road. It was a tight fit for both of them inside the carriage but they were able to manage. Thankfully, there weren't many goods around to make it uncomfortable enough to not sit. When they both settled, Azriel gave her a slice of bread and some bananas. She hesitantly took them from him, not because she doesn't want them but because she completely forgot about her hunger.

"Don't worry," said Azriel, noticing her hesitance. "I made sure they're safe."

She met his gaze and gave a sly smile before taking a bite off the bread.

Their journey was punctuated by occasional stops at some towns to either deliver supplies or to get something to eat. Azriel took it upon himself to test the foods they were getting before deeming it safe to eat.

"It's better this way," he reasoned when she insisted that he didn't have to do it and that they could take turns in testing the foods. "You're holding our illusion intact. It would be trouble if we lose that. Besides, concealing us both in shadows definitely wouldn't work."

"What if somebody attacked us?"

"Then I'd feel sorry for them."

She eyed him. "I am not as strong as you, you know."

"No." he just shrugged. "I think you're stronger."

She couldn't tell whether he was complimenting or mocking her, but she struggled for a response and her blushing was apparent nonetheless. "I think we should have a match when this is all over."

He just inclined his head at her before walking back to the carriage.

**********

It took them five days to reach the border of Liria. They were on their way to the capital when the carriage halted so suddenly they fell upon each other.

"What the – " Zivia braced her hands on either side of him to steady herself, accidentally pressing on his wings. He let out a small gasp and went still at the contact, instinctively grabbing her arms and gently helped her up before pushing himself back into a sitting position.

"Sorry," she apologized as she tried to peek outside. "Why did we stop?"

They heard shuffling outside and a gruff voice flowed through the wagon. "…request that all carriages stop at this point…"

The flap of the tent was suddenly opened and two men who appeared to be wearing guard uniforms greeted them they stared at each other for a moment before she lifted her hand and gave an awkward wave. "Hello."

One of them furrowed his brows in confusion before gesturing to both of them. "Get out." They obeyed the order and carefully stepped out, mindful of each movement so as not to accidentally touch them with their wings, albeit concealed. Standing side by side, the two guards eyed them up and down as if trying to see through their illusion.

"Ah yes, they're travelling with me." The merchant was pointing towards them from where he was being questioned by another sentry.

"We joined a ride with him to visit a relative here," Zivia added. She looked around and noticed that it was not just them but a few other travelers as well were stopped. Reaching a hand to her chest, she looked at one of the guards with all the wariness she could muster. "Is there something going on? Are – are the rumors true? They are really here among us?"

The man just clicked his tongue and gave her an annoyed look. The other mumbled something under his breath, low enough that his companion didn't quite catch it but just enough for her fae hearing to know that it was a rather lovely swear word.

The man with the merchant, who is clearly higher-ranked than the other two, stepped forward and declared "No need to worry. This is just a part of temporarily increased security protocols between borders. Orders were given to inspect all inbound trade-carrying carriages to the capital."

She and Azriel exchanged a look.

"I understand but my goods, I have to deliver them," the merchant protested.

"As soon as we finish checking, you'll be good to go." He gestured to his subordinates and one of them went to examine the contents of the cart. He then turned towards them. "As for the two of you, you were to visit a relative you say?"

"Yes." They both said at the same time.

"It's my aunt," Zivia quickly added, hoping to cover their blunder. "She is my father's cousin."

The man turned to Azriel. "And your cousin lives here?"

"Yes."

Zivia resisted the urge to jab him on his side for giving such a deadpan answer.

"And you're from where?"

"Scythia"

The words were out of her mouth before she even realized her mistake. She looked at the shadowsinger but he remained expressionless and focused on the man before him.

"Scythia? That's on the western side of Liria. Shouldn't you be coming from the other side of the city?"

Damn it.

"We went to visit another relative." Azriel countered.

There was a long pause. They were becoming more suspicious with their every answer and it appears that they were not letting them go that easily. Behind the officer, she noticed that the other guard has finished inspecting the goods. She has to act quickly.

"It seems that you have relatives across the continent huh?" There's a noticeable edge in the sentry's voice as he took a step closer to Azriel and she felt the Illyrian shift slightly, almost as if challenging the man, "We do."

At the corner of her vision, she saw the guard behind them slowly reach for his belt.

"Oh I remember you!" the merchant's squeaky voice tore through the building tension and they all looked at him. "You once rode with me to this city when I was doing trades with Scythia before. Yes yes, you were that same girl back then."

The guard stared at him for a moment before looking back at Zivia, contemplating whether to believe the man or not.

"I think it was three or four years ago? My you've grown!"

She gave a wide-toothed smile to the merchant just as the inspecting guard went over to them and gave an approving nod to his superior. The officer took one last look at them, his gaze lingering on Azriel, before finally giving them the signal to go. As soon as the three men were gone to check on the others, she felt him relax. They thanked the merchant and bid him farewell before going on their way.

"He will be a bit dazed for some time, but he'll be fine I guess," Zivia murmured as she looked back at the carriage which was now disappearing into the distance. She let out a long sigh before adding, "I'm not used to glamouring people, but I just had to do it."

"Smart move I'd say."

"Well, I didn't have to resort to it if not for you."

The shadowsinger's face remained placid but she felt that very slight change in the air around him. He started walking and she followed behind.

"I'm at fault here too but your illusion is becoming a bit questionable. You're my father, for Cauldron's sake. You should act more like how an aged human would normally be." Finally catching up to him, she did her best imitation of his voice and accent, "'We went to visit another relative'. You sounded like you were threatening him."

"I don't speak like that."

"Yes you do." Again mimicking him. "You even have this habit of narrowing your eyes slightly whenever you're trying to make a point to someone."

He stopped walking and looked at her, clearly irked by her subtle teasing.

"Ah. There it is." She just shrugged back and continued on backwards, facing him as she walked. "What I'm saying is maybe you should loosen up a bit, you know. Act more like an old man – "

"I am old."

"An old human."

A group of guards passed by, marching towards the south western path were a considerable amount of people were headed to. Zivia looked at him and grinned.

"I have a good guess that's where the meeting is going to take place."