#and full lips'... and now it's felix and hyunjin aka 'oh he's the one who looks like a pretty fairy'

[leatherbookmark]

i’m SO bad at faces lol when i’m learning new group members i’m still like “oh this one has (facial characteristic)” and then i die when they’re not the only member like this

[bangchanstudio]

Never Have I Ever | Changbin (3/?)

pairing: seo changbin x reader (fem)

genre: university au, awkward friends to ? something more? smut, house party

tw: sex, attempted date rape (spiked drink), mild panic attack, unprotected sex, penetration, cursing, praising, mild dom!changbin kink, oral sex (fem;receiving), fighting?

word count: 6.8k

ch.one | ch.two

synopsis: you’re forced to face Changbin after ghosting him for weeks, and things happen.

note: I suffered A LOT writing this so please SUFFER WITH ME. Shout out to sera aka @seraplantery​ for thirsting over changbin with me and his new fresh undercut as i wrote this 🥺 you the real one✨ again, i would love it if you let me know what you thought about this etc. i would love to interact more with those you read my fics!! 🥰 feel free to drop ideas or suggestions/requests in my inbox~ ps. if you would like to be added to the tag list for ✨NHIE✨ please let me know via inbox/message ❤️

taglist: @seraplantery​ @chang-binnie @synnocence @lordseochangbin​

“Spill it, sister.” The way Hyunjin crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently reminded you of your mother when you were in high school, waiting for a confession after sneaking out to a party the night before with the guys.

Suddenly, the ramen hanging out of your mouth that linked to your chopsticks seemed one hundred times more interesting than looking at Jinnie. He was good at seeing through your lies but mostly because you were such a bad liar.

When your only response was a shrug, he let out an exaggerated sigh. “You’ve been acting sus for days now.”

“How?” You asked, still avoiding his gaze, sipping on your straw.

“Well, for starters, you’ve stopped pestering us about what happened at the party.” He eyed you up and down. “Did you remember?”

“Just that we watched a hot ass morning sex video.” You said wiggling your eyebrows. “Really, there’s nothing going on.”

That was a lie.

The only thing that was running through your mind most of the time these days was Changbin. Since that night you went to see him you couldn’t stop thinking about his touch. His skin. His lips. The way he tasted. Changbin got your number from Chan, but you were avoiding him. He wasn’t one to chase or push either, so when you didn’t reply to his first message he didn’t send another.

Chan already interrogated you about the night he walked in on you blowing Changbin, and asked why you haven’t talked to him. You could only assume Changbin told Chan you were ghosting him, and Chan knowing you like the back of his hand decided to mediate. You were grateful, because he never judged you for being an asshole or ghosting people. You were always like this and you had been told by many people that you were “too much”, but not Chan. That’s what made you love him and run to him. Even when you didn’t run to him because you were too self-conscious and didn’t want to annoy him, he’d go to you. Talking with Chan helped you realize you didn’t know anything at all and that it would all be okay regardless.

“You know what your problem is, (Y/N)?” Chan started two weeks after you went to see Changbin at his apartment.

“No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” You were laying upside down on your couch, feet hanging over the backrest next to Chan who was sitting upright typing away on his laptop.

“You avoid thinking about your feelings. Instead of trying to face them head on and figure them out, you just run away.”

Ouch. The truth of his words stung.

“Just slap me next time will ya?” He rolled his eyes at your remark.

“I’m serious.” He closed his laptop placing it on the coffee table before giving you his full attention taking your hand in his as if you were a child. “Look, you know I love you. I care about you and I want to see you happy. That’s why we need to figure this out together. Tell me, when you look at Changbin, what do you feel?”

That was a tough question to answer. “Do I really have to think about that?” You whined.

“Yes.” He said sternly in his dad voice. “We’re going to figure this out together because if not you’re just going to continue this vicious cycle forever and I won’t stand by it.”

Sighing, you closed your eyes trying to find something, anything that you could put into words.

The image of seeing Changbin for the first in over a year at Seungmin’s house party at the start of summer came rushing back. You were sitting at the bar table in the wide living room of Seungmin’s mansion in a champagne slip dress and red lips talking your half tipsy ass off with your girl friend when she gasped at a hot guy who walked in. The place was overflowing with bodies, the heat made your skin slightly damp and the music was loud. There was a mixture of cigarette smoke and the smell of booze flowing in the air, basically it smelled like a good time.

“Who’s that hottie coming in with Felix?” She had asked shouting over the DJ and pointing at the door with her free hand, drink in the other.

Your heart had stopped and the smile you had plastered on your face slowly faded as you saw Changbin walk in, leather jacket, hood up, hat covering his features, but you knew it was him. He was scanning the crowed, high-fiving and bro hugging Seungmin and Minho as they found him. Minho had turned to find you amongst the crowd and nodded your way, Changbin found you but turned away. He never went up to you that night and you didn’t either.

“I feel sad.” You admitted, voice only slightly above a whisper.

“That’s good, (Y/N). That’s a good place to start.”

[three days later]

“Another party?”

Everyone was gathered around in your apartment eating your food and playing video games.

“Yeah, my parents are going overseas again so it’s the perfect time. I think we all could use a good old fashion house party.” Seungmin, respectable Virgo though he may be, was notorious for his house parties. He always had the best DJ’s, the best drinks and most importantly a big house.

“God knows we need to let loose, especially (Y/N).” Felix smirked over at you wiggling his eyebrows, blocking the pillow you threw at him.

“Besides, it’ll be funner this time since Changbin is back and we’ve been hanging out.” The room went quiet at Jeongin’s comment, just the video game sounding in the background “Oh… was I not suppose to say that?”

“Just focus on your game the grown ups are talking.” Hyunjin hushed the younger boy. “Everything is set to go we just need to go shopping.”

“We?” Everything sounded amazing except parties meant socializing, dressing up and being in public. You had a love hate relationship with parties, about as much as you had a love hate relationship with everything else in life.

[]

The weekend came faster than you could have hoped for and that mean the party did too. All you could think about was how you planned to avoid Changbin, though it shouldn’t be too hard in a house that big. You did it once before. The truth was, maybe you were scared to genuinely fall for him, just as he had said he was afraid of falling of falling for you. The only thing you knew how to do when you were unsure of anything was to run away.

Chan was right and you knew it. Your flight instinct was all you were good at but even you knew it would be your downfall eventually.

“Wear this. From your bestest friend in the whole wide world – Jinnie”

Hyunjin stopped by while you were in the shower and shouted a quick goodbye, reminding you to not be “late” to the party before rushing back out in less than a minute. You pulled your towel closer to your cold body before opening the top of the box and pulling out a really short, strappy, silk red slip dress.

“Does he want me to die of hypothermia?” you mumbled to yourself before doing your hair and make up. All the while constantly checking your phone to keep tabs on Chan’s eta. The best you could do was curl your hair and do some basic face makeup since you loved striking more with red lips rather than heavy eyes. Since the party had a rave vibe you opted for a way heavier highlight than normal and sprinkled a bit of body glitter along your collarbones and shoulders.

“(Y/N), I’m here !” Chan’s voice rang out as you heard him shuffling from the entrance to your room.

“Are you rea– damn girl, who are you?” He stopped dead in his tracks taking you in from head to toe.

“Fuck, this is too slutty right?” You turned from your long mirror to face Chan.The dress fit you well enough, but it was so short and low cut you thought your boobs would fall out at one wrong move, not that you had much to begin with, but this dress sure made it seem like you had a decent amount of cleavage. “Shit, I need to find something else to wear. I swear Hyunjin just wants to make me look like–”

“No! Don’t you dare, you look amazing, you are totally wearing that tonight. Just take a good coat so you don’t get sick.” Just like Chan to nag, you couldn’t help but laugh at his comment.

By the time you both made it to the party it was close to 10pm, definitely late. The taxi left you at the gate at the bottom of a small hill. Making your way up you were grateful you opted for a pair of black boots instead of heels. There were a lot of people making their way up to the house and people spilling out of the house as you got closer. The bass could be heard since you stepped out of the taxi and the closer you got the sounds of chatter, heavy laughter and shouting got louder. Crowds made you nervous but holding on to Chan’s arm made you feel better. After a few drinks you wouldn’t be as nervous or anxious. Alcohol had a way of numbing just about anything.

Stepping into the house the heat of bodies welcomed you, almost immediately encouraging you to take off your coat before handing it to Chan who in turn put it, along with his in the hallway closet. You were familiar enough with Seungmin’s house to be able to use certain areas of his place that would otherwise be deemed unappropriated for others.

“Welcome, welcome friends.” Seungmin said greeting you and Chan with a hug. Hyunjin and Felix followed close behind.

“Wow, (Y/N) that dress looks so much better than I imagined!” Hyunjin didn’t trust your sense of taste when it came to party or club attire so he had the habit of picking things up for you ever since you all started partying and clubbing together junior and senior year of high school.

Felix handed you a drink with a sympathetic look, maybe your nervous were louder on your face than you realized. You looked around the crowd trying to see if you could spot Changbin’s figure but by the looks of it he wasn’t here. Even though you were avoiding him, your heart still sank a little.

Get it together, you scolded yourself.

Before you knew it you found yourself on the dance floor passing between Hyunjin, Felix and a couple of strangers. Drinks and shots started to blur as your nervous melted and you started to feel slightly dizzy at the heat and bass filling your chest. The black lights made everything neon and colorful, there were even bubble machines that left residue of shimmer on everyone’s hair, face and body as they burst.

“Whoa– whoa!” Hyunjin shouted as you grinded your ass on a guy, making you laugh and push the stranger away before turning back to Hyunjin, throwing your arms around his neck and his hanging lazily on your hips. Felix had gone off somewhere, probably the bathroom. “Do you think Changbin will show up?”

You shrugged, not wanting to ruin the fun you were having. “Who knows.”

Eventually, you found yourself alone on the dance floor still as Hyunjin went to look for Felix, probably to do other things with him.

The vibrations of the song were filling you when you felt a pair of hands grab your waist letting you know someone was there, but you couldn’t see who since they were behind you. You let your body lean back into the stranger swaying to the song coming out of the loud speakers. He felt strong and warm though he reeked of weed which immediately turned you off, but you didn’t leave him enjoying his body instead.

“Let’s grab a drink.” The stranger said, grabbing your wrist and leading you off the dance floor, weaving you through the crowd. He wasn’t half bad looking, though, the thought came to you like second nature... but he wasn’t Changbin.

You leaned against the bar, letting the coolness of the marble run up the length of your arms, without thinking you placed your forehead down the bar top to cool off a bit. It felt good against your hot skin and the heat of the room.

“Here you go.” The stranger said handing you the drink with a cocky smile.

You thanked him raising the drink to your lips. He had a dark glint in his eyes that made you hesitate. “Fuck!” You shouted as someone grabbed the wrist you were holding your drink with, jerking it away.

“What the fuck did you put in this?” It was Changbin. You froze as he grabbed the glass out of your hand, still holding onto you. He shoved the glass in the guys face, “Drink it.”

“No way, I got that for her.” He said disgust in his voice, knocking the glass out of Changbin’s hand. It shattered on the floor, but you hardly heard a thing over the loud music that was playing. “What? Is she your bitch?”

“She’s not a bitch and what she is to me is none of your fucking business.” Changbin got between you and the guy, shoving his chest.

Fuck, this was not good. You desperately looked around for Chan or Jisung, anyone that could stop Changbin better than you could. You’d seen him in enough fights to know this wouldn’t end well. Of all the good qualities Changbin had, holding back was not one of them.

“What the fuck man, I was just trying to have a little fun.” The guy shoved Changbin back, though it didn’t have much effect since Changbin had a pretty solid build.

“’A little fun’ by what? By spiking a girls drink? You must be one desperate piece of shit if you can’t get a single girl to sleep with you of their own free will.” Changbin’s words made you go cold.

Did he spike your drink when you weren’t looking?

“No, it’s just funner when their helpless.” The guy retorted.

You could feel the rage boil up in Changbin and spill over seconds before he threw his fist connecting it with the guy’s jaw, sending him stumbling into a crowd. The guy couldn’t recover before Changbin grabbed him by the collar throwing him on the ground and shoving a knee into his chest hitting him again and again.

“You low life piece of shit, I hope you rot in hell.” He said between every punch.

Fuck, fuck, fuck where the hell was everyone when you needed them?! You desperately wanted Changbin to stop fighting. The fact that they had garnered a crowd of on lookers but no one was stepping in annoyed you.

“Changbin, stop!” You pleaded but when he didn’t respond you grabbed his arm just as he was bracing to throw it again, “Please, stop!”

Changbin tensed as he turned to face you, his eyes were scary.. on fire with rage. Your eyes must have been desperate because you could feel his anger slowly start to dissipate. For a moment it was as if everything went quiet and all you could hear was your breathing and heartbeat pounding in your ears.

The stranger seized the moment and opening to escape from under Changbin’s hold and book it into the crowd shoving a few people out of the way.

“Fuck.” Changbin mumbled watching the guy run off, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

He helped you to your feet before taking you by the hand and leading you around the bar and up the grand stairwell. His pace was a little faster than what you normally walked and with the alcohol running rampant in your veins you stumbled and struggled to keep up with him, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was gripping your hand so tight you knew even if you tripped enough to fall, he would catch you.

The hallway lead off to various rooms and people were piling around room entrances and playing various games from drinking games to board games. The bass still sounded throughout the house, but you could hear a little more clearly from up here.

“Get the fuck out,” Changbin pulled you into Seungmin’s room where two people were making out on his couch. “Now.” He ordered.

The couple glanced at each other but did as they were told, which was good on their part. Changbin was scary when he was mad. You were dreading whatever was about to happen because he pulled you away from the crowd probably to scold you for almost getting yourself drugged.

The couple left closing the door behind them leaving you in a dim lit room with Changbin angrily pacing back and forth.

“You are so reckless!” Changbin’s voice made you flinch. You know he didn’t mean to, but he still needed to learn how to control his anger. “Why would you take a drink from someone you don’t know?”

All you could do was wrap your arms around yourself and avoid Changbin’s eyes. You felt like you could melt under his gaze, or burn.

“There are bad guys out there, (Y/N), just waiting for you to let your guard down enough so they can take advantage of you.” He was saying it with good intentions but that still didn’t make you any less angry about it.

“So, what the hell am I suppose to do then? Just not go out? Not drink or have any fun?” Your argument was weak but you hated being pushed around. Especially by Seo Changbin.

“That’s not the point, (Y/N) and you know it.” He stopped pacing taking an abrupt step towards you, your back hit the wall. He took another step cornering you in.

From this close you could smell his cologne, warm and musky. His chest was rising higher than normal, his anger still evident in his eyes and the way he set his jaw. Damn he looks so hot... wait shut up this is not the right time, you tried shaking the thought away but Changbin hit the wall next to your head making you jump.

“Look at me.” His voice was strained.

“Make me.” You challenged, the words leaving your lips before you could filter them out as this is a really bad idea, don’t say that.

He grabbed your jaw fingers digging into your cheeks forcing you to meet his gaze. It annoyed you how much that turned you on, you squeezed your eyes shut trying to control your lust.

“Do you like it when I get rough with you, is that it?” Changbin squeezed a little tighter until you opened your eyes meeting his. Fuck, was all you could think.

“Maybe.” You replied raising an eyebrow. “Maybe I just want to see you go insane.” 

His dark laugh made you tremble.

“You know what drives me insane?” He sneered, “The fact that we had one decent, open conversation and then you ghost me like a fucking stranger you met off Tinder.”

To be fair, you knew it was coming. You shoved him off, crossing the room before slumping down on the couch, kicking your boots off and crossing one leg over the other so you wouldn’t flash him by accident.

He watched you from across the room as you noticeably gathered your thoughts before starting, “I.. I didn’t mean to do that.”

Changbin threw his head back in disbelief laughing before angrily asking if you were serious. You didn’t reply which seemed to only set him off even more. He crossed the large room in three strides before sitting down on the coffee table right in front of you leaning forward, elbows on his knees, face resting in his hands; but you didn’t flinch or shrink away this time.

“Then why did you do that to me?” His voice was lower now, his eyes were closed as if he was struggling just to say those words. As if he was trying to hid the hurt that was laced in that question.

“Because I wanted you to feel the same hurt that I felt when you abandoned me.” The words stumbled out of your mouth again before you could stop them.

You both froze.

It’s not something you consciously had thought out, but as soon as you said it you realized that was it. That was the real reason you were avoiding him, you wanted to get back at him. You wanted him to feel the same pain and loneliness you did when he left. Of what could have been but wasn’t.

“That’s fair.” Changbin concluded before straightening his back. “I don’t blame you.”

You sized him up trying to find any trace that he was lying, but he seemed a little more relaxed now. His shoulders were slack, his breathing was normal, eyes serious.

“Really?”

He nodded. “There is one thing though.” He said placing his hand on your knee before pushing it off your other leg. “I haven’t repaid you for that one time at the apartment.”

Your eyes widened as he pushed your legs apart. “Wh–what are you doing?”

He smirked at your sudden shyness. “I told you. Paying you back.”

“No, no it’s okay, I swear, just don’t mention it.” You clumsily shot up before stepping a safe distance away suddenly cursing yourself for being barefoot.

He laughed with his whole chest before standing up straight. “Come on, you were not this shy sucking me off.”

Your cheeks were burning, you were positive your face was the same color as your dress. Changbin made his way over to you, pushing your hair back behind your shoulder. The closeness of his body, the way his eyes made trails down your neck and collarbones made you tremble again, you tried crossing your arms to keep yourself still.

He noticed you shaking.

“Hey, (Y/N), it’s really okay if you don’t want to. I would never do anything you weren’t comfortable with.” His voice was soft, worried.

“It’s not that,” You trailed off averting your gaze. “It’s just I’ve never been... You know.”

“Never what?” He raised his eyebrow in that way that said, I don’t believe you,”I know you’re not a virgin.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, “Of course not, I mean the,” You flailed with your hand trying to get the point across without explicitly saying it, “I’ve never.. you know.”

Realization dawned on his features, “Oh... you’ve never been eaten out?”

“Fuck, yes, Changbin. That. God.” The fact that he said it out loud made you even more shy.

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered.” He said before pinching your cheek and biting his lip.

“This room’s taken.” Changbin called as a couple walked in barely keeping each other on their feet. He shoved them out before closing and locking the door behind them.

“Changbin!” You squeaked as he rushed back over to you, picking you up off the ground and carrying you to the bed before tossing you easily on it. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, one you hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“Who let you wear this dress?” He asked pulling at it teasingly; undressing you with his eyes.

“Jinnie bought it for me.” You replied. He took off his jacket, the sleeves of his black shirt were cut off revealing his biceps. “Been working out?” You asked not hiding your want anymore.

“Like what you see?” Changbin asked before pulling your legs towards him so your bum was at the end of the mattress.

You nodded, biting the tip of your finger as you gazed up at him. He ran his hands up your calves and thighs before tugging you a little closer to the edge.

“When did you get so buff?” You asked half teasing. He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you know just looking out for my health.”

“Sure.” You rolled your eyes laughing.

There was silence as Changbin took you in again, staring down at you, his face unreadable as always. “Would it be okay if we forgot everything for a little while?”

His words made you catch your breath in your chest. Your fingertips grazed his hands on your thighs, slowly back and forth before nodding hesitantly, “That sounds fun” You breathed.

Changbin smiled before slipping his hands under your dress and slowly pulled down your lacy black panties. He got on his knees and spread your legs open, the motion made you squeeze your eyes shut squeaking in the process, covering your face with your hands.

“Ah, what? Don’t tell me you’re still shy.” Changbin laughed before placing small kisses on the inside of your thighs, switching between the two. There was a soft romantic song playing in the distance, so you tried to focus on it to calm your increasing heartbeat as Changbin kissed and sucked small spots on your sensitive skin.

His breath was warm as were his lips and his hands felt like they were burning on your thighs. It wasn’t long until you felt your body longing for more of him. He noticed the way your breathing started to come slightly quicker, the way your legs started to unconsciously shake with want and desire. He saw the way you bit your lip trying to keep yourself from making any sound, and the way you covered your eyes with your arm, hand clenched into a fist.

He smirked wanting to make you break.

“Oh, my god.” You breathed as you felt his tongue trace along your folds. You trembled at his warm touch. He liked the way you looked from this point of view and the way you tasted on his tongue.

His mouth found your clit and you let out a “Fuck,” as he drew circles with his tongue, the sensation sending waves of pleasure that you had never felt before. It was so much better than touching yourself. He went between licking you up and circling your clit occasionally sucking on it making you whimper.

“That feels so so good,” Your hands found their way into his hair pushing it out of his eyes, he looked sexy from here.

“I’m glad you like it,” He hummed still at your core, the vibrations of his voice against your clit making you shake.

You could feel the heat starting to rise, the way that familiar knot was forming in your core. 

But suddenly, you remembered the guy on the dance floor. The way he smelled of weed, the way he pushed his body against your back. The way he lead you off the dance floor and handed you the drink. The drink you almost drank, the one he drugged to... 

The sensation hit you like a truck after a few minutes and you could feel the pleasure start to change into something else, your breathing was coming out faster and heavier. The walls of the room started to close in and you felt like you might pass out. Your thighs were trembling and Changbin had to hold them open to keep you from trying to close them.

“Changbin I– I– fuck, I–,” you couldn’t form a coherent sentence and panic started to rise in your chest. There were black dots starting to dance across your vision, you felt claustrophobic, “Shit, it’s really heavy. Changbin, please,”

 “Please what?” He asked, noticing panic in your voice. But you couldn’t speak all you could do was clench his hair making him stop.

“I– I need to catch my breath.” Fuck why were you panicking now. You sat up clenching your chest trying to focus your breathing. Changbin was sitting back on his knees, he grabbed your face between his hands trying to get you to focus on him.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay just look at me. Focus on me.” His eyes and voice were calm but you felt a small part of you unraveling. Your chest hurt from how hard you were trying to breath, you tried closing your eyes but Changbin got your attention again, “No, (Y/N) look at me, keep focusing on me. I’m here. I’m real.”

Your eyes desperately searched his face trying to center yourself.

“The guy fro–from be–before, I– I’m having a p–anic attack,” You chocked out trying to at least tell him what was happening. It wasn’t the first time he saw you panic, but it had been a very long time.

“Okay, baby, don’t worry I’m right here. Just breathe. Can you tell me five things you can see? Come on, just five little things.” You could only see a small glint of desperation in his eyes.

“H–hair,” You chocked out looking at his dark hair, “Eyes,” His eyes that felt like home...

“That’s great, baby, really great. Three more. Just tell me three more little things you see.” Changbin encouraged, hands warm against your cheeks.

“Nose” that you loved to pinch when you would tease him in high school, “Cheeks,” they were flushed, “Lips,” they were soft and still wet from eating you out, your eyes stayed there.

“Great. Now four things you can touch.”

Your breathing was still heavy but you were a tiny bit calmer. You touched the bed for a few seconds, your dress, his hair and his hands on your face.

“Three things you can hear.” He continued calmly, voice like honey.

You concentrated, “rain, piano, your breathing.”

“Two things you can smell.”

“Beer and... your cologne.” Your eyes were closed but you were almost in complete control again.

“That’s amazing baby, now tell me one thing you can taste,”

“Dos XX.” You opened your eyes, he was smiling softly. “Damn it, Changbin I’m so sorry.”

You felt so guilty for freaking out like that. It was something that was out of your control but you still felt guilty and week for letting it overtake you like that. Especially now of all moments.

Changbin stayed on his knees looking up at you. You felt so embarrassed. Why did that have to happen now, you cursed yourself again. It had been months since your last panic attack but something about the way that guy tried to drug you made you lose your mind.

You pulled Changbin’s arm tugging him to join you on the bed. “Can you hug me for a bit, please?”

He chuckled before kicking off his shoes and climbing onto the bed. He pulled your body back with him as he sat up right against the headboard. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist as you settled between his legs. He rested his chin on your shoulder half mumbling half singing the lyrics to I will follow you into the dark and swaying you gently. You closed your eyes relaxing against his chest, feeling the vibrations as he sang the sweet words into your ear. You felt at home in his arms, they were strong and safe. Like a fortress.

After a while of being like this you shifted in his embrace enough to where you could look up at him.

“What?” He asked half worried half smiling.

“Thank you for saving me. Or well, not saving me but you know... saving me. I didn’t realize the guy was a total scumbag. I should have been more careful.” You looked down fiddling with your fingers.

Changbin was quiet for a long time before responding. “If you let me be near you again, I promise I will always keep you safe.”

You met his gaze again. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, yes, I like you. A lot, actually. But I understand if you don’t want to be with me in that way or at least not right now, but it would be really great if we could try being friends again.. like before.”

Like before.

That’s all you had ever wanted. Was to go back to how things had been before, but you weren’t sure if that was even possible anymore. So much at had changed, everything was different. You were different.

“Can we go back to forgetting everything... Just for a little while longer?” You asked placing your hand on his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. You felt tired from the panic attack, but you need to feel something. Something that would replace the fear.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Changbin asked, he was hesitating against your lips.

You nodded pulling him into a kiss, your hands getting lost in his hair. Everything seemed to rush, the way your teeth teased his lips and his yours. The way you shifted yourself to lay down on your back pulling Changbin on top of you as you did. The way his hands slipped under your dress feeling your cold skin, and yours tugging his shirt desperately. You pulled the shirt over his head tossing it to the side before he went back to your lips shoving his tongue into your mouth. You could still taste yourself on his tongue and you blushed.

“I really want you to fuck me.”

Changbin chocked at your comment before laughing, “Damn, you can be really bold sometimes. I like it.”

He wasted no time unbuckling his belt buck, he looked so sexy doing it biting his lip, he knew what he could do to you. Changbin discarded the rest of his clothes and pulled your dress off surprised to see you weren’t wearing a bra.

“What?” You teased.

“Nothing, you’re just really hot.” His lips were hot on your chest, trailing down your stomach and back up again. His hands massaging your boobs before taking one in his mouth, he nibbling on your nipple the sensation making you whimper.

You pulled him by his hair back up to your lips, your legs wrapping around his bare waist pulling his naked body to yours.

“If you make me wait any longer I’m going to go crazy,” You whined pouting at Changbin making him laugh. “Oh, fuck,” he said shaking his head, “I don’t have a condom, I forgot my wallet at home...” At this point you were so turned on you just wanted to hit him, but you needed him so desperately. 

“It’s okay, I’m on the pill. Either way, I trust you.” You looked at him as you consented, before pulling his body closer to yours. The tip of his throbbing cock was teasing your entrance and you whined pushing your hips to get closer to him.

Changbin tsked, “You’re so impatient baby girl.”

“I need you, I don’t want to feel afraid anymore.” You didn’t care that the words sounded dumb or selfish, it was the truth.

“You don’t need to be afraid with me around.” He hummed into your neck brushing his head against your cheek, his hair was soft and smelled of mint. “I’ll keep you safe.” his words gave you chills.

“I know that, Changbin.” You didn’t, but you wanted to.

He slowly pushed his tip into your entrance making you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Look at me,” Changbin said grabbing your jaw in the way that was starting to feel familiar. “I want you to know that it’s me, that it’s me and no one else.”

You picked up on what he was hinting at, because there were things he noticed that you didn’t. Like what may or may not trigger another panic attack. He was right, so you kept your eyes open, watching as his face scrunched up as he pushed himself into your pussy stretching you out.

“Oh, fuck that’s tight.” He groaned, voice raspy and deep. “Fuck.”

He waited for you to adjust before continuing to move slowly in and out. You were still slick from before, so even though he filled you up it felt so good. The way he kissed your neck, and left love marks made you whine and tell him how much you had always wanted to do this.

“How many times have you thought about fucking me?” He asked, sitting back on his knees and pulling your waist higher to fuck you at a better angle. These types of positions always made you a little self conscious since he had a full frontal view, but you felt safe under his gaze.

“Too many to count.” You admitted laughing before moaning as he picked up the pace in time to the song that was playing downstairs. The friction felt like heaven and you felt the butterflies in your stomach start to turn into little knots. “Have you ever thought about fucking me?”

“Since the day I met you,” Changbin confessed between moans. “Fuck (Y/N) you feel so fucking good.”

“Changbin,” You moaned his name, eyes rolling back shut. You arched your back slightly as he pounded into you, the increased pace was making you feel hotter. “Fuck, if I would have known you were this good I would have asked you to fuck me sooner.”

He laughed at your vulgar comment, “Where? Like at the hide out?” He slammed into you again making you curse, your walls starting to clench around his cock.

“Yeah, that would have been really fun.” You found his hand and squeezed it. “Shit, I’m getting really close.” “Don’t worry baby you can cum whenever you want.” His words made you go crazy, and he praised you telling you how well you were doing. He pulled your legs up over his shoulder and bottoming you out with each and every thrust.

“Changbin, don’t stop.” You moaned as the sound of his skin slapping yours echoed louder and louder, Changbin’s breathing was hitching and you knew he was about to cum too. “Fuck,” The knots in your stomach turned into heatwaves as you released onto Changbin, he slammed into you harder and faster the friction making you see stars.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” Changbin moaned your name as he came in you, his hot white liquid filling you up and you loved the way it felt. “Shit.”

He fell on your chest letting your legs rest on either side of him, you both struggled to catch your breath but the sound was sweet in your ears. Changbin kept telling you how beautiful you looked in this mess and how amazing you felt. You ran your fingers through his wet hair, admiring his beautiful features as he rested on your chest.

“Hands down,” Changbin breathed, swallowing his spit to hydrate his dry throat, “My favorite.”

You waited for him to finish his thought but he didn’t.

“Your favorite what?” You probed, putting your arm on your forehead still coming down from your high.

“Oh, my favorite sex round.” He said still breathing heavy, laughing. The sound echoing in your chest.

“Yeah, it was pretty fucking amazing.” You agreed. Changbin pulled himself out of you slowly before settling next to you pulling you close. You rested your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat return to normal, the sound bringing you peace.

His hand traced the curve of your waist, and he did that for long time.

Eventually you both fell asleep and sometime through the night, decided to just keep sleeping getting comfortable under the covers and Changbin’s skin pressed against yours.

It was the first night in a long time where you felt like you actually rested well. The morning light woke you and for a few seconds you started to panic, until you saw Changbin’s sleeping face next to yours. Then you remembered the night before, and the amazing things you felt. You calmed your heart and snuggled back into his chest.

“Mm?” he mused lightly.

“Shh, sorry for waking you.” You whispered wrapping your arms around him tightly. He chuckled and fell back asleep in seconds.

That was until Seungmin walked through the door and started yelling every curse word in the book, “What the fuck do you guys think you’re doing in my bed. Wait, fuck, what the hell did you guys do in my bed? Don’t tell me you fucking had sex in my bed that is so fucking gross. Ew! I hate you guys, we’re not friends anymore, get the hell out of my house and wash the damn sheets before you leave I’m telling Chan on you guys..” Seungmin stormed out of the room continuing his rant.

You and Changbin exchanged looks before bursting out laughing.

“I really hope this doesn’t turn into an everyday thing when we have sex.” Changbin said whipping a tear from his eye from laughing so hard. First Chan and now Seungmin.

You prayed to the gods the same thing.

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 40

LISTEN TO ME — 0040

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.4K

a/n: hey guys, I would like to ask you to pay close attention to the details of this chapter, it's important and nothing will be by chance. and I also want to apologize for the next one, really. I hope you guys don't give up on the AU or me. knowing the end, I wouldn't give up, just a tip

finally, good read <3

Changbin took a deep breath for what must be the twentieth time that night. Blessed be his patience, otherwise, he would have slapped his friends already.

─ "Think with me, all of this is a huge injustice," ─ Woojin began, shoving another jujube into his mouth. After Chan, Felix and Hyunjin took Jade to the movies ─ to get her distracted a little ─ and Hwang swore he would call ahead when they were leaving, Changbin, as long as he didn't bump into his ex-girlfriend in no point, agreed to spend a few hours in the apartment he used to live before the avalanche in his life, to be distracted as well; however, all he could feel being close to Woojin and Yoorim was the urge to jump in front of a truck. ─ "Why do people always make fun of the person who was cheated on if he slash she was the loyal one in the relationship?"

─ "I know right?" ─ Heo agreed. ─ "Isn't the weight of the horns enough?"

─ "Exactly!"

Changbin looked at Jinah as if asking for help. Choi laughed and continued moisturizing her lips in front of the small mirror in the living room. Today was the day she would have the opportunity to talk to her mother-in-law, and she hoped, with all her heart, that she would not have an attack until she reached Jisung's aunt's house. Maybe she didn't even need to be that apprehensive, but since she was warned about it, Jinah felt strangely nervous.

─ "I thought your intention was to cheer him up."

─ "But the only way to cheer up a person who was cheated on is to show him slash her that they're not alone, because everyone has ever been cheated on," ─ said Woojin, looking at Yoorim next. ─ "Right?"

─ "I don't know, oppa..." ─ the youngest of the four scratched her head. ─ "Hyunjin was my first boyfriend and I never suspected anything."

─ "Okay, so let's think about more experienced people. Jisung."

─ "Woah" ─ scolded Jinah. ─ "Don't talk about my man when he's not here."

─ "He was getting married, almost everything was ready" ─ Woojin ignored the warning as if it had not even been uttered. ─ "Want worse thing than spending money and being cheated on later? At least you didn't go through this, Binnie."

─ "Technically, it wasn't quite a cheating because Jade was fooled," ─ added Yoorim.

─ "Still, she kissed him, loyal she wasn't."

─ "Shut up, for God's sake." ─ Changbin ran his hands over his face, evidently frustrated. A loud thunder sounded in the sky, and, desperate to engage anything other than his relationship fiasco, he tried: ─ "It's gonna rain, look."

─ "Damn," ─ muttered Yoorim, turning to peer at the heavy clouds through the open window. ─ "Leaving home when it is raining is bad luck."

─ "Bad luck is seeing black cat, breaking mirror, late clock," ─ said Woojin. ─ "Rain is therapy."

─ "Black cats don't give bad luck" ─ Jinah scowled. She loved kittens in general and couldn't believe that such cute little animals could bring bad vibes to anyone. ─ "If a person's life sucks and it doesn't hit anything, how can the blame be on the kitten, who is just passing by?"

─ "I also think cats have nothing to do with it," ─ Changbin agreed. ─ "I just don't like going under the stairs."

─ "I always avoid, but today I was forced to do that" ─ Yoorim shuddered slightly. ─ "My dad's shop is undergoing renovation in some parts and there was a guy buying a bunch of weird pliers and cables, he must have been mechanical or whatever. His arms were so full that I had to dodge it so as not to knock him down something, and the only way was by going under the stairs."

─ "So you can go get ready for bad luck," ─ said Woojin.

─ "Stop, oppa! I didn't mean to."

─ "I don't believe any of this bullshit," ─ Jinah claimed after replying to Jisung's message, saying that he was already waiting for her. If before she still had some opportunity to run and hide, now she could only muster the courage she could find nowhere and face the challenge. An invisible force seemed to pull her body away from the door, it was weird. ─ "Changbin, leave the key in our hiding place — aka the mailbox — when you get out of here. I'm leaving."

─ "Okay. Don't forget your seat belt, you always do that."

Jinah nodded and said goodbye quickly, then left the apartment and entered the elevator. She watched her reflection on the mirrored surface as she didn't reach the ground floor and took a deep breath. She was wearing light-washed jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, the kind of clothing she often wore on occasions that didn't imply such whimsy, but Jinah wasn't tired of wondering if she was okay or should have opted for any other thing. What if Hyoyeon found her too simple and thought she hadn't even made a point of getting ready? However, if she was too tidy, Choi would surely think something like 'She'll think I'm like this just to show up, now what?'. It was an indecision that was no longer over.

The elevator doors opened and ended up scaring Jinah, who, so distracted she was, barely noticed the time pass. She stepped out of the mechanical cubicle and walked out the hall, then spotted Jisung's car as she set foot on the sidewalk. It was so flashing that the quick beams of light could be reflected perfectly on the hood of the dark pickup truck that was parked in front of the building where she lived. The storm would be violent.

Jisung was on a seemingly serious call when Jinah got in the car, but it wasn't more than thirty seconds before he turned off his phone and leaned down to steal a peck from his girlfriend's lips.

─ "Wow" ─ another peck. ─ "That way I'll fall in love with you even more."

Jinah flashed a shy and equally cheerful smile. Receiving compliments from Jisung always caused her the same butterflies in her stomach.

─ "I know I'm irresistible, thanks."

─ "Way too confident, too."

─ "Maybe," ─ the girl shrugged and listened to the music playing on the radio as Han turned on the ignition. ─ "70's?" ─ she frowned. ─ "You weren't even born, I didn't know you liked that."

─ "I swore it was playing 'Infinite' right now" ─ Jisung also raised his eyebrows, only then noticing the symphonic melody that abandoned the speakers at low volume. His fingers automatically went to the player to look for something more pleasing to his ears and Jinah's. ─ "Good thing my mom didn't come with us, otherwise we would have to hear it all the way."

─ "Speaking of which, why didn't she come?"

─ "She wanted to go early to help my aunt with dinner" ─ Jisung paused for a moment. ─ "She's kind of paranoid today."

─ "What do you mean?"

─ "I don't know... Mother's thing."

─ "I see," ─ Jinah smiled weakly, her mother was also full of these 'things'. ─ "Was her who you were talking to just now?"

─ "Uh huh. It's the third time she calls me just to ask if we'll be there before it starts raining."

─ "Oh, how cute" ─ Choi's smile widened. ─ "Although she's right, it's not very good to drive on a wet road."

─ "I don't like it either" ─ Jisung closed his eyes for a moment when he had to turn and the unnecessarily strong headlight of another car that was coming right behind them hit his face. ─ "But my mom is inclined to the drama and too exaggerated."

─ "Do you know I'm finally starting to think we'll get along?"

─ "I told you so" ─ Jisung laughed quietly, but was a little worried. Putting Jinah and Hyoyeon together might not be a very wise idea, it was too much sweetness for a single pair. ─ "Pity me, my God..." ─ he murmured inaudibly.

─ "What?"

─ "Nothing, I just thought out loud."

Something told Jisung that he would need the strength to endure that night. And how he would need it.

[han-and-kai]

For You

genre: fluff and angst  ship: jeonsung jisung x jeongin 

eyo this fic is special, ya know why

ITS AN AU

OOF AND THATS NOT ALL ITS A COLLAB :O

yea me and @insertstraykidspunhere  (aka incorrect-straykids) wrote this together my version is in the perspective of jisung, and hers is in 3rd  person if you wanna read the other version here you go!!

enjoy~

I really don’t know how this happened...well actually, I do.

There’s one name that caused it all, one beautiful, fantastic, amazing boy, that I don’t mind is hurting me.

I said it before and I meant it, I’d die for him, I didn’t expect it to happen, but here we are.

Well uh, you must be a bit confused, well let me explain.

Let me tell you how I met the love of my life, Yang Jeongin.

It was the start of the new semester, I was a 2nd year, walking towards the door to enter the familiar school, waving at familiar faces, until something unfamiliar happened.

A person had bumped into me from behind, I turned around to help them up, and I swear I saw an angel.

I knew everyone in this school, every student, every teacher, even the janitors, but I never saw him before.

He was cute, but at the same time, insanely attractive. His eyes were sharp and angular, but held and innocent gaze, his cheekbones were prominent and his lips were a pretty pink, seriously, this boy was an angel.

I held my hand out to help him up, and that’s when I heard his voice, a melodic voice, so sweet and smooth, like chocolate. All he said was thank you, and I was head over heels.

“In a rush are you?” “Uh, yea, I don’t want to be late on the first day.” “I haven’t seen you around before.” “Maybe because I haven’t been here before, I’m a 1st year.”

Wow good job Jisung, you met an angel and now he thinks you’re an idiot.

“Oh yea, well, welcome to the school I guess!”

He smiled, and I died a bit on the inside, it was hard to breathe, what was happening, he was so breathtakingly beautiful.

“If you ever need anything, you can find me.”

“Ok hyung!”

“Call me Jisung, Han Jisung.” “Oh okay, I’m Yang Jeongin.”

And so began our friendship.

Jeongin apparently already had a friend in the school, Kim Seungmin.

We turned into one big group because of the two.

Chan, Woojin, and Minho, the 3rd years, Changbin, Felix, Hyunjin, and I are 2nd years, And that leaves our 1st years, Seungmin and Jeonginie

We went everywhere together, and I couldn’t get enough of spending time with them, especially Jeonginie.

He was a joy, and I could say I love him, I knew I did, and I could tell him, but I always am at a loss of breath whenever I try.

But one day, it was the two of us, we were walking home, passing through the park. The autumn leaves blowing through the wind, the clear blue sky shining brightly, and somehow I finally had the courage to speak up

“Jeonginie, can I tell you something?”

“Sure hyungie.”

There it was, the heaviness in my chest, but I had to spit it out.

“I like you.”

Silence was all there was. It felt like I stood there forever, Jeongin had stopped walking, his head down.

“I have to get home hyung.”

And with that, he ran away.

It was so hard to breathe, I get I was sad, but, pain was building in my chest. I let out a soft sniff, which eventually turned into a loud wail, but with that wail, came something else. I coughed, and coughed, tears brimming in my eyes blurred my vision, but when  I wiped them away I saw petals. Baby pink cherry blossom petals, in the middle of fall. I coughed again, and there were more.

I went home and researched. Hanahaki disease.

Wow, first I’m rejected and now I’m going to die because of it, big whoop.

I didn’t want to die, but I also didn’t want to hurt Jeonginie. It was my fault, if I kept my mouth shut this wouldn’t have happened. Truly the worst hyung he could ask for.

Can’t let him know.

Who knows what would happen if he did, I need to ride out the rest of my time have a good time with him, being a good friend, a good hyung, helping him through high school for as long as I can.  I need to see him smile until my last moment

But as time passed, it became more unbearable. At this point most of the others already knew, everyone except the first years. I had kept wearing masks, I tried medicines and such, nothing worked.

It came to a point that the petals started coming out more and more, I could hardly breathe.

Chan had pulled me into a classroom after school.

“Jisung you have to tell him, look at yourself!”

“I can’t! He’d be heartbroken!” “JISUNG YOU’RE GOING TO DIE SO EITHER TELL HIM OR GO TO THE HOSPITAL!”

“I can’t afford to go to a hospital, and I can’t tell him, I don’t want my last moments to be seeing him break down, I want to see him smile before I die, because what is my life if he isn’t smiling.”

Little did I know, that Jeongin had heard them. He burst through the door, running towards me.

Chan had stepped to the side, and soon leaving the room.

Jeongin stood there, his brows furrowed, his fists clenched.

What have I done

“Jeongin what’s wro-”

“HOW CAN I SMILE IF YOU’RE DYING?”

I stood there in shock. He heard us, oh gosh. In this long line of agony filled events, this one was by far the worst. “Jeongin-”

He pulled me into a hug. My breathing was staggered, I couldn’t help but to cough, petals falling onto his shoulder and back. However, the inability to breathe didn’t hurt as much as seeing the pained expression on Jeongin’s face

“Hyung I’m so sorry, you told me so suddenly, and I was so confused, I never knew what these feelings were, I was scared, I didn’t want to hurt you, but you were hurting all along, I’m so sorry.”

Jeongin was in tears. This is what I dread, seeing my lovely angel crying because of me. At this point my tears began to flow, and so did the petals.

He slightly pulled away from the hug, wiping my tears, I wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t, the only thing that came out were those dreaded petals. They say beauty is pain, but in a literal sense, it hurts alot more than the saying.

We were in that position for a bit, I couldn’t look him in the eye, the only sounds were my coughing and the sound of petals hitting the floor.

It was then that Jeongin lifted my head up by my chin, I met his gaze, his eyes puffy and watery, but a soft smile painted across his pretty lips.

Even in times of agony, he is still so beautiful. Thinking about him more and more made my chest burn, my short breaths feeling like fire.

Jeongin cupped my cheeks, and what happened next was unexpected. He pulled me in for a gentle kiss. It was soft and sweet, and it felt light, like I was floating. His lips moved gently against mine, and I began to kiss back, our lips dancing together, the subtle taste of tears, it was poor bliss

He pulled away, slightly gasping because of the previous lack of air, looked me in the eyes, caressing my cheek ever so gently

“Han Jisung, I love you.”

Those words repeated through my head several times, I could hardly process it. I still couldn’t say anything, even though in my mind, I wanted to tell him how grateful I was for his existence, for him being a part of my life.

He wiped the stray tears off my face.

“Don’t cry hyungie, I’m here for you now, I’ll protect you.”

It was at that moment I realized, the pain and heaviness, it was gone. The burning sensation that filled my lungs with prickling agony had faded into a warm fuzziness. Yang Jeongin, a one of a kind boy, who literally can make or break my life.

“Jeonginie, thank you for saving me” “Anything for the person I love.”

We shared another kiss, not one that was full of tears, not one full of sudden need, but just pure happiness.

His lips were soft and sweet, unlike the brackish taste of tears from our first kiss, this one was much nicer. He pulled away once more, leaning his head on my shoulder, his arms around my waist.

“I love you hyungie, please never leave me.”

Yang Jeongin is not just an angel, he’s a guardian angel, my guardian angel.