#and finally: the reason this wasn't posted earlier was because i was trying to find the perfect plane picture to place in the ground behind
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Your honor, they own the world. o7
Here goes my gift to @moneyoniis for the @technoblade-gift-exchange. I hope you like it! Little fun facts about this in the tags.
#technoblade#philza#smpe#smp earth#emerald duo#fun facts:#the plane are cropped from the streams#the background is a slightly edited image of Saint Malo#i went to war trying to make this a high quality image... the results speak for themselves...#i gave techno so many accessories but i totally forgot the crown— lets say its because he's been fighting#and finally: the reason this wasn't posted earlier was because i was trying to find the perfect plane picture to place in the ground behind#It's Art-abella
948 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm going to be honest
I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.
I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.
It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.
I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.
It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.
Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.
Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.
First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.
I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.
So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.
I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.
I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.
So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.
I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.
I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.
I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.
There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.
I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.
Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.
I'm forcing it and I'm tired.
It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.
I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.
It's not you, it's me.
So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.
Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.
I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.
I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.
Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.
I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.
It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.
I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.
This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.
Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.
Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.
424 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hii I find your apocalypse AU pretty interesting. Was wondering if I could do some fanart? :3
@jonathankentstuff
Omggg!!! Yesss, I would totally be okay with you making some!! I would love to see that!✨
Sorry this took a bit to answer btw, but here are some reference sheets for the boys designs in this au that will probably be helpful for you to use!!
(Click for better quality)
This is also probably a good moment to finally expand more on what the au is about (which is why I added in Mar'i and Jake's there too) since I'm showing them now and also because I've been taking a long while already to make the post about it lol😅
(It's a no capes au btw, meaning everyone's just a normal human here and weren't superheroes in the past)
After tragically losing both Talia and Bruce, Damian is mainly surviving with Dick and Kory, plus the kiddos Mar'i and Jake.
After a very long while of doing just fine, they one day get completely seperated from eachother after getting attacked by a random group of greedy bandits. Damian got stuck with Mar'i and Jake on his side while Dick and Kory were only left with eachother, plus Alfred the cat who they carry around all the time in their backpack.
After seeing that there's no way to really get around and go back to eachother and also noticing that they have to continue running from the large group of bandits who are still after them, Dick quickly hands Damian a map and tells him to travel to the place that's marked on it, telling him that they'll all meet up there and reunite with eachother again. Damian promises to do just that and becomes Mar'i and Jake's new guardian while the three of them are on their own, protecting them both from any kind of danger that's thrown their way no matter what, while staying determined to return to Dick and Kory once again.
After three months later of already moving forward to get to their far destination, Damian, Mar'i, and Jake were resting at a small cabin in the woods for a night until the morning. During that night, Jon later happened to be walking around near their hide out all alone since he was lost. Damian spotted him and wasn't planning on taking any risks by just letting him wander around, in case he was actually someone who was just looking to attack and steal stuff if he found him and his little Nephew and Niece, so he sneakily knocked Jon out and tied him up in the cabin.
Once Jon woke up, Damian and Mar'i both pretended to be cannibals to scare him so that they could get their needed answers out of him to see if he was really just another bad person as expected. Because of this, Jon was terrified and just told them whatever they wanted to know, promising that he wasn't there for any trouble. With this, they saw that he was just a harmless kid just trying to survive like them, so they finally dropped the act and let him know that they were just actually faking it. Jon immediately became even more upsetted by all of this after being told that.
While Damian and Mar'i were distracted talking to eachother about what they were gonna do with him, Jon sneakily got loose from his ties and quickly surprised punched Damian in the gut in anger. Jon quickly stopped though once Mar'i immediately got in the middle of the fight and shoved him away from Damian, yelling "No!" In fear, making him feel a little bad for getting rough in front of the 8 year old girl. Then he soon started to hear Jake crying loudly too and began to feel even more bad for not realizing that there was a baby in the room as well.
That was when Jon got (an angry) explanation from Damian about why they did what they did to him, which was only for their safety. He began to start understanding the reasons behind it after that, but still felt pretty upset about the way it was done.
After some calming down, and for Jake too after being rudely awakened, Jon explains to Damian and Mar'i that he had gotten separated from his group earlier after getting chased down by some herd filled with the undead and is just trying to find his way back to his camp now, but is completely lost.
Damian, remembering he has a map on him and thinking back on how Mar'i and him haven't had much food to eat for days, decides to make a deal with Jon. He tells him that if they help him out, he has to give them some food to take back with them in the end in return. Jon, desperate to get back home and feeling delighted at being offered some help, promises them plenty to eat, so they make a deal. This was the start of their adventure together. (Damian didn't let Jon know about the map though and instead lied to him that he's an expert on traveling in the area, so that he wouldn't reject the deal and also so that he wouldn't think of taking the map from them and just run off with it either)
Along the way, the boys begin to later become good friends (with growing crushes on eachother and later become boyfriends too) and a found family type of thing also starts to grow between Mar'i and Jake with Jon over time too (he becomes like a new Uncle to them).
And after finally getting Jon back home in the end like promised, Jon wants to return the favor by helping Damian out in his own big goal too, just like how he helped him out so much during their little journey together. So the four of them venture out later to look for Dick and Kory like a team.
Phew! Glad that's finally done lol. I really can't wait to see what kind of stuff you decide to draw for the au and am very excited to see them whenever they're ready!!!✨:D (I also have way more stuff about the au, like what happens much later on and also how things started too, but that would just make the post too long lmao)
#Damijon#Jondami#Damian wayne#Jon kent#Damian al ghul#Jonathan kent#Damian al ghul wayne#Jonathan samuel kent#Supersons#Super sons#Robin#Superboy#dc robin#robin dc#Damian wayne robin#Jon el#Mari grayson#Jake grayson#Dick grayson#Starfire#Koriand'r#Nightwing#Nightstar#Damian wayne x jon kent#Jon kent x damian wayne#Damian x jon#Jon x damian#zombie apocolypse au#dc comics#spider-jaysart drawings
459 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'M BACK BECAUSE YOU NEED ASK
So just, hear me out. M or GN!Reader that is biologically Hades and Maleficent son/child, Aurora is his little sister (he's in second year at NRC and Aurora in first year in a girl school).
How Platonic!Crowley, and any character’s you want, will react at the family days when they come to school for Reader ? (It's bad explained, i know.)
Ignore it if you don't want to write it.
Have a good day and night.
PS : The Alice Yuu was perfect.
Maleficent! ± Hades! Male! Reader
×You are Malleus's cousin
×Asra is your adopted sister and unknown to everyone, Silvers actual sister
×You and Idia are childhood friends (I don't think he's related to Hades, correct me if I'm wrong)
×You're not Yuu
×You're and third year Ignihyde student
Sorry I haven't been posting, I didn't have any motivation!
-
There were many things that were well known about Y/n, most people considered him an open book, but his family life stayed a mystery.
There were a few things that people could gather by just talking to him; his mom died, his dad remarried (Persephone), and he had known the shroud brothers for a long time.
The reason Y/n kept his family a secret was because he saw how people would avoid Malleus, leaving him alone and unwelcomed, but for some ungodly reason, nothing could be left a secret in this school.
Family day.
A day that Y/n had managed to avoid in the past thanks to either Idias hacking or a quick excuse that only makes sense because Crowley is an idiot.
But this year he forgot all about the dreaded day.
The day started as any other, he straightened out his uniform, found something to drink, and started making his way to the cafeteria.
But then he saw those gargoyles from the underworld waiting for him in the second he stepped out of his dorm mirror.
"He he- see I told you he'd be here if we waited long enough!" The shorter one spoke.
"Well, excuse me for hoping the boy had learned to get up earlier for once!" Panic shouted back.
"What are you two doing here?" Y/n asked, stunned.
"Well, we just missed ya and your horrible attitude soooo much!" Pain started. "NO! Its family day dumb-fuck."
"Does that mean dads here!"
"Of course, he is, he wasn't going to miss is first AND only chance to see you at your school." The taller one said in a tone most wouldn't dare have with the son of a god.
"FUCK! I gotta go!"
And just like that, the teenager was off like his head was going to be cut off.
"Not even a 'How are you?' or 'How's the Underworld?' Typical."
The cafeteria was filled with people in awe of one of the most recognizable people in the world. No one had the nerve to approach him as he tried to find his son and instead just circled around him, entranced by his existence.
"Have any of you seen my son?" The god asked the crowd, "He's about this tall, Ingihyde, of course, and always half asleep."
"Uncle! So good to see you." A familiar pair of horns made its way through the crowd.
"Ah, Malleus, have you seen Y/n? It appears no one else here as." Hades asked as he brought the younger boy in for a hug.
Malleus chuckled, "Unfortunately, not today, he normally sleeps in quite late."
"I assume he got that habit from that Shroud boy?"
"Probably."
"DAD!"
Everyone turned to see the boy whose father left everyone so stunned and audible gasps were heard as students quickly realized the similarities between their magic.
"Y/n! My boy! How have you been? Have you finally made some new friends?"
"What do you mean new friends! I have plenty of friends-"
"Name three other than Idia and Ortho."
"Well, there's Silver, and..." He thought for a moment "Well how have you been?"
"Well busy with the Underworld and ACTUAL responsibilities, unlike Zeus and the other gods."
"Yeah, yeah, let's go talk about that outside." Y/n said trying to rush his dad outside.
As they entered the courtyard Y/n noticed Deuce showing his mom around and Ace getting bullied by his brother. As Hades rambled on to his son about how unfair his job was Crowely took notice of the god and quickly made his way over in hope of some positive publicity.
"Y/n! I'm so happy to see you and your father enjoying yourselves!"
"Well, everything would be perfect but we're waiting on a couple more people." Hades started. "Do you think you could tell them where we are?"
"Who else did you invite!?" Y/n could already feel the eyebags start to form under his eyes as he wished he'd stayed in bed.
"Asra and Persephone!" Hades smiled.
"Stay here I'll go find them."
"Stay here and do what? I'll be bored out of my mind."
"Talk to Crowley or something! I don't care, just stay here!"
Y/n made his way back to the Ingihyde dorm, if he was going to do this, he was going to make Idia suffer with him.
"Get your ass up! It's family day!" The boy just barged into the others dorm, as he often did.
"What does that have to do with me!?"
After a couple minutes of arguing, Idia was now walking close behind Y/n with his tablet in hand. The loud environment was Idias worst nightmare, and he will never know how he was talked into this.
"Y/N!"
That was all the two heard before said boy was tackled to the ground by a familiar head of long white hair. A few looks a shock were shot their way making Idia jump.
"Asra! GET OFF OF ME!"
"So whiney!" She stuck her togue out. "Are you mad cause I interrupted your time with you boyfriend!"
Once again Idia jumped from something the girl did. This has been an ongoing joke that was only funny to one girl and very annoying to the brother and his friend.
"He wishes!" Y/n said, shoving his sister lightly.
"Now kids," a voice so graceful that it could only belong to one person spoke. "We're in public, act like it."
Soon the four made it back to the courtyard where Malleus, Pain, and Panic had joined Hades and Crowley.
"So, you started the Gargoyle club in our honor, right?" Panic asked, nudging Malleus.
Malleus laughed in response, "No but you two did he with my interest in gargoyles."
As soon as the four joined the crowed Crowely insisted he get a picture.
"It will be perfect for the school Magicam! Now say 'family!'"
#twst x reader#twst scenarios#twst x male reader#grim twst#idia shroud#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#maleficent#Hades#pain and panic
148 notes
·
View notes
Text
Buddie: Buck and Eddie are each other's person/people!
They found one another in 2x1 when they agreed to have each other's backs and 9-1-1 illustrated this fact AGAIN at the end of episode 8x4!
The song that played during the montage is "Find Your People" by Drew Holcomb and the same way songs that were played in CANON during previous seasons (2, 3, 4, 5 and 6) include meaningful lyrics, the ones in this song MEAN SOMETHING too and if they didn't, they wouldn't have played it (related posts linked here, here and here). (I used a version of the episode that includes closed captions so the lyrics to the song would be included in the GIFs.) I haven't done a META like this in a while but I'm ready to do them again because the show is finally back on track with a clear narrative and 8x4 is proof of that.
Please note: T*mmy Kinard is NOT Buck's person because if he was, he would have been included in the montage! He's not there because he's a plot device and in 7x4 Buck WAS NOT trying to get his attention!
If the show wanted to, they could have shoehorned in a scene of the two of them, the same way they did in 7x10 but they didn't because he's on his way out!
Now back to the regularly scheduled program...
The song started playing right after Hen took down Councilwoman Ortiz and the lyrics are crystal clear. Let's review them for kicks and giggles.
The song begins with "You got to find your people. The ones who make you feel alright" and that's when Hen walked back to the 118 and Bobby walked away from Gerrard to be with his found family!
Eddie's scene with Weston, Mike and Stacy was next and the lyrics that can be heard when Weston is wheeled toward Eddie are "You got to find your people, the ones that won't leave your side when you lose control. The ones that don't let you lose your soul." BE CLEAR... the lyrics are specific to the main character in the scene and I can prove Eddie's scene relates to him and Buck and it also illustrates how Eddie's not looking for another mother for Chris.
In 5x18, Buck defined what love means to him. He said, "Is that really love? I mean shouldn't it be when you're at your worst and their at their worst, you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try again!" (Related post linked here.) The lyrics for Eddie state for him to find his people, someone who'll be by his side when he loses control (THAT'S BUCK! He was there when Eddie broke down) and the ones who won't let you lose your soul (THAT'S BUCK TOO!)
Furthermore, at the end of the scene, Eddie watches Weston and his parents walk away from him and that was a mom, dad and a son. Eddie's not looking for a mother for Chris anymore and it was a callback to earlier in the episode with the wrapping of Mike's hand like he wrapped Ana Flores' hand in 4x6 "Jinx" but there aren't any Jinxes or Curses related to what happened in 8x4. Eddie's relationship with Ana was JINXED from the start the same way his relationship with Marisol was something but it wasn't going to last because once again he was looking for a mother for Chris instead of him looking for the person he already has in his life, BUCK!
Also, Eddie DOESN'T WANT MIKE! (There have been some posts in the tags that says he does but he doesn't because he only has eyes for BUCK! I blocked those people just like I blocked the ones that said Eddie wants the priest 🙄.) The show clearly illustrated that with the scenes they shared in the episode. The touches, the looks and everything else that happened between Eddie and Buck were intentional. Trust that Eddie Diaz only has eyes for Evan Buckley.
The next scene was Henren and Madney. The lyrics that played during this scene after Mara walked over to Hen, Karen and Denny are "In a world full of strangers, all you see is danger" which relates to Mara because she was around strangers when she was at the group home and she had been involved in a dangerous situation before Hen and Karen became her foster parents.
Also, the lyrics that played while Maddie and Chimney were hugging are "You can't go it alone. Everybody needs help. You got to find your people then you'll find yourself." Well, Madney were the ones who helped when they stepped in to foster Mara until Henren's foster care license was reinstated.
Bathena's scene was next and just like the other scenes, the lyrics fit their current situation. It began with Athena talking about rebuilding the house Michael designed for her but after Bobby said he didn't want to rebuild that house, the lyrics in the song indicated the exact reason why.
During their conversation Drew sings, "You got to find your people. The ones that make you feel alright. That tell you the truth and wish you well. You got to find your people then you'll find yourself."
Bobby told Athena the truth about the house and she agreed that they needed to build something new.
The next to the last scene is when Bobby walks back into the 118. The lyrics that were playing are "In a world full of strangers, you don't know who to trust. All you see is danger trying to find what you lost. You can't go it alone, everybody needs help." Well, Bobby was in a world full of strangers when he was at the Hotshots set and since he didn't know them, he couldn't trust them. But Hen went to see him earlier in the episode and she gave him the information he needed so he could go back to his firehouse and when he went back to the 118, he was with his found family again.
Even though they were talking, the song was still playing in the background. (I didn't include the scene with Gerrard because I didn't want to but he found his people too... I guess since he was finally able to tell people what to do on "Hotshots.")
Even though Buck and Eddie didn't have a lot of scenes together in 8x4, the ones they did have are VERY IMPORTANT and one of them was another callback to 4x13 and 4x14.
At the beginning of the episode, they weren't standing right beside each other but they were close enough and Hen was in between them with Chimney to Eddie's left and Buck to Hen's right.
When they went to the high school football game, Eddie got out of the engine right behind Buck and Buck looked at him when Gerrard asked him if he played football in high school. Now this is my speculation but it seems like Buck told Eddie the same thing he told Bobby later in the episode except it happened off screen. At the end of 8x3, when Gerrard hugged Buck, he was weirded out by it (who wouldn't be) but everyone knows Buck talks to Eddie about the things that bother him (reminder T*mmy DOESN'T LISTEN TO BUCK! He makes sex jokes instead of listening to him and when he finally complimented him in 8x1, it was an obscure statement about cones or some other BS. All he had to say was, "You're cute" but he didn't. That dude has NO GAME! 🙄), therefore he probably told Eddie he didn't like the way Gerrard kept touching him. He was looking at his soulmate and future husband for reassurance.
When they arrived at the tiger call, Eddie was behind Buck again.
The scene above could have been done with Hen and Eddie standing behind Chimney but NO... the show is doing a callback to the shooting here. It was the second time this season it was alluded to. The first time was in 8x1 when Eddie said, "I've been shot before" when they were talking about the bees and he said it in front of Buck. Reminder, Chimney and Hen were in the ambulance when Captain Mehta made the call to dispatch about Eddie being shot. Also, Ethan Copeland was a trained LAPD sniper who had a scope on his gun with Buck in the crosshair. Buck was in shock and didn't notice it but Captain Mehta tackled him to the ground (related video here).
Finally, while they were sitting in the courtroom, Buck and Eddie were sitting right beside each other and they were doing the same thing they always do, glancing and looking at one another. It's who they are and what they do.
The point of this post is to illustrate... T*MMY WASN'T INCLUDED IN THE MONTAGE BECAUSE HE'S NOT BUCK'S PERSON!
EDDIE IS BUCK'S PERSON AND BUCK IS EDDIE'S PERSON.
BUDDIE has always been the plan and for anyone who's choosing not to see it or is constantly searching for reassurances that it will happen; the only proof anyone who doesn't work for the show can provide are the things that are happening in CANON. Everything else is speculation!
THE SHOW IS NOT BEING SUBTLE ANYMORE!
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#christopher diaz#maddie buckley#chimney han#bobby nash#athena grant#hen wilson#karen wilson#denny wilson#bathena#madney#henren#911 season 8 speculation#911 meta#911 abc#911 on abc#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
🖤Understanding Season 4&5 Sam🖤
long post, 30 gifs
sorry I don't care if my english sucks or not anymore. I live with the urge to defend Sam 24/7, that's what it's about.
this post looks weird on pc… recommend you to read on the app
Supernatural S1E01 Pilot // S1E06 Skin S3E08 A Very Supernatural Christmas S4E19 Jump the Shark
Do you see the parallels here? This is why I think people who say season 4 Sam was annoying also hate every other character in this show, they just don't realize that. It was not a big deal when other characters treated Sam the way they did, but when Sam started to mirror them you suddenly find it annoying? That's absurd. I know almost every filmmaking choice of this show is unfair to Sam and I hate that too, but still we audiences can see things from various angles and think for ourselves. And sometimes you need to see the story as a story, not something to take sides.
Supernatural S3E16 No Rest for the Wicked Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis
Sam lost his entire family at the end of season 3. He was full of remorse, and to make up for that he was literally following his family's footsteps. Sam became obsessed with revenge like John did after Mary died. Season 4 was about that vicious cycle, the tragedy of it. Dean sold his soul for Sam just like John did for him. Sam tried to be more like his dad and big brother and did what they taught him. And Sam's relapse was a part of the addiction cycle. But Dean locking up Sam in the panic room changed nothing, the final seal was broken after all. So Lucifer gets out, and the oldest family drama is about to start all over again. It wasn't about who was right or wrong. It was about the circle, a never ending story. The next season was about restoring trust in each other and seeking redemption, and Sam eventually broke the chain by sacrificing himself. That's what makes Swan Song the tragic ending of all time. (though it all comes back as the show keeps going on... but what is spn without The Codependency™)
So, yeah, it's beyond me how some people can't see the reason behind Sam's choices in this season cause the context was SO clear. If you watch the show, you can see how much Sam and Dean affect each other and how much both are affected by John in different ways. And it's natural because they are family. We are who we are because of everyone and everything that has happened in our lives, and same goes for every fictional character, including Sam. It's just as simple as that. Sam was just trying to live by his brother's will while battling with grief and loss. He had to keep on fighting without Dean. And the reason why Dean wasn't with him was because Dean sold his soul to save Sam and went to hell for it. It not only made Sam the sole survivor of the family but also made the very being of him their entire legacy. Starting with Mary making a deal with Azazel, every choice ever made in this family is what brought him there. As I said earlier, it's the cycle. And a consequence. In short, if it is a sin, I think it’s everyone’s.
Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis
Sam and Dean's fate to be vessels? Their destiny? It doesn't matter in the end. This show was always about fate AND free will. Free will was always there. You always have choices. Sam was the one who believed that most desperately so he became the one who broke the cycle. Even though it was only the last page, he ripped out the written fate anyway and wrote the ending himself. YES HE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER. And after everything he did for the world, the story made him suffer eternal agony with the Devil because he is also a tragic hero figure. (SIGH literally the character of all time)
You can see this all only as an observer, as an audience. For Sam, the only thing he could do at the moment was just find the person to blame―in this case, it's a demon named Lilith― and get revenge. And he was lost somewhere along the road, he became an addict because he couldn't do anything about his loved ones dying, but when he drinks the demon blood it gives him power and a sense of control. (aaaaaand I still don't get why writers wrote this as some kind of diabolical desire in 4x18. I get it sammy what the fuck would chuck know about helplessness)
You can say you wouldn't suck up the demon blood, that's fine, but this story was written in this way, and if Sam didn't do that, the story couldn't go forward. Why? Because he is the main character. (It always had to be you, Sammy!) And reminds you that if you want to watch a show with multiple seasons, you have to remember what happened before to understand what’s going on now. So please don't make up things in your head, just go back to where it all started. There are contexts in everything. Everyone is a consequence of each other, but we don't have to be bound to that fact. We have choices: to change, to make things better. That's why we should be kind to each other, and for that, I love and respect Sam so much cause he didn't let his traumas define him and always tried to be a better person. ♡
I'm not done yet!!! see also this:
Supernatural S3E04 Sin City Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis
Dean worried when Sam killed a demon with the Colt to save him cause it also killed a person who was being possessed, and it was 'cold'. But then when he finds out about the demon blood, he is so mad that he doesn't even care about the fact Sam was saving possession victims and just screaming in Sam's face "Use the knife!". It's so??? What is the logic here? This just proves it's always been about his feelings, not really about saving people. Is that an evil thing? No, I don’t think so. Dean is just a human, he can’t control what he feels. But if you use this to beat up Sam, I'll go feral then. Cause Sam is a human too.
And look at Ruby's masterful manipulation skill. Makes Sam feel guilty about everything, and comes back with what he needs when no one's left around him. She really was the best of those sons of bitches.
Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis
Seriously, what was Sam supposed to do? Everyone on this show didn't even bother to understand Sam and just decided everything he ever did was fundamentally wrong. Sam was using his own body to change the things outside of him, cause there is nothing he can do about the fact of his body, the blood in it. In life, there are things we can change and we can't. We have to live with that non-negotiable fact for our whole life. Sam learned this most painful way... And one thing about Sam is that he never let the unchangeable things make him give up the things he can change. It's not always a good thing though, cause Sam in s4 was very self-destructive. He was obsessive, and that is one of his problems. Sam is so stubborn and doesn't give up on anything easily. Actually this problem could be solved after s7 cause he tried to move on, but s8 happened… so it got worse, kept getting worse, and look what happened in s10. The most heartbreaking domino effect, I'd say...
Supernatural S5E03 Free to Be You and Me Supernatural S5E06 I Believe the Children Are Our Future
Anyways, back to the point. Unfortunately, Sam started the apocalypse. And what did he do after that? When the whole world tried to hunt him down, the devil wanted to crawl inside him, and an angel called him an abomination? He didn't give up there to remain that abomination. He didn’t surrender. Instead, Sam begged for a second chance. He wanted to atone, wanted redemption. He still believed in others even though he lost trust in himself. He believed there was still something he could do about it. Even when he was possessed by Lucifer, he fought till the end to save his brother and the world. And he did it. He was a fucking hero at that moment, sadly a tragic one too. But the important thing is: Sam Winchester represents hope. (I think Swan Song was a perfect ending as a tragedy. This show got weaker and weaker after s5 which kinda ruined the perfection, but I'm also so glad the show continued cause this message fits more hopefully in Carry On. I needed to see Sam rewarded with something better than eternal agony after all those additional tortures of 10 more seasons.)
One last thing, you know what's funny about Metamorphosis? Dean had nothing to say about the fact Sam saved more people than when they were hunting together, so he just went "That what Ruby wants you to think?" Dude what was going on in your mind. like that was what Ruby intended, he was right about that only by chance, but I still find it funny that Dean said that at this exact moment. And he does this a lot, attacking the messenger when he can't refute the message. He didn't have any rational reasons like Sam, he just didn't like it and that's all(and honestly I think this can be an actual reason too cause there's a history behind it which I talked about it here. I wish Dean had just talked to Sam and had a real conversation. but he never talks about his feelings, that's what Dean Winchester does. so… yep not gonna happen. also, if the brothers have a healthy relationship, that is not supernatural lol), so he brought up Angels and evoked Sam's religious guilt. And the Angels in question also turned out to be manipulative assholes later. Everyone makes mistakes, but somehow Sam is always the one who gets most condemned and blamed. Dean, On the other hand, is justified by the narrative so many times even when it is actually his fault. As I said, unfair. This is not even a Dean crit post, I'm just mad at unreasonable people and the way this show works in general.
I swear I was normal before watching this season. Sam's demon blood arc was what made me insanely fall in love with him, so when I found out all those hate for Sam… that really could be my villain origin story but instead I chose to be on tumblr, so yeah I believe love wins<3 ha what a way to end a post. sorry guys
#i don’t agree with this show on so many things and some of the later seasons just piss me off except for occasional good episodes#but the first five seasons of spn are always worth talking about
272 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wow, I agonized over this post way too long. Here it is, finally. I was gonna make this a reblog but i think since it's referencing multiple posts (and boy it got super long and added a related theory) this is better on its own. This is furthering @gin-juice-tonic's analysis of the tBoB journal pages. Heavy tBoB spoilers, and warning for the darker content it has. (some swearing too) I'm convinced now they're a warped version of events and downright fake for some, however, I believe many are real.
...But did Ford remember them? "I can delete memories randomly, just for fun. Maybe I already have." I do NOT think Bill could erase everything. He probably can only erase small/recent sections. But this is a big part of my theory.
But first, Gin's points. (using some of your pics for this Gin, hope you dont mind) I'm not going to post every journal page, but I'll give a ref for ones that seem important.
Okay, this is the post that actually convinced me (went through the links from tapas, the first is sure suspicious, but the second has pretty compelling evidence.) Ford referred to Fiddleford as F through the whole of journal 3 (aside from in code), and Bill as his Muse until the reveal, he wouldn't suddenly change the way he refers to people, even if he planned to rip out the pages, in which case, why would you write them in the first place?
On the first link (this one), this appears to be an embellished story. When you look at it from bill's perspective, he's reminiscing. He lies to himself. He's making it seem like Ford and Bill hit it off immediately, and while in a way, they did, it probably wasn't like this. I'll buy Ford used Cipher's line back at him, but the jovial way they banter is just so Bill. Ford would emphasize how he felt, the mysteries he was thinking about, his reverence for his Muse. He probably wouldn't recount it line for line when he was so secretive in journal 3. Bill makes it seem like they were more like equals, when in reality he likely relished the devotion and divine status Ford attributed to him. Also, "Cipher Speaks" is in Bill's handwriting from the sticky notes. could be coincidence? I think not. 'Ford' also describes it as the "GREATEST. DAY. OF MY LIFE." This mirrors bill's earlier statements about the reader's life being forever changed after meeting bill. According to Bill, meeting him is the highest moment of anyone's life, right?
In an additional post, Gin explains how Bill didn't tell Ford he was from another dimension. Ford had to find that out at the betrayal. So, all this taken, those two pages at least are fake.
For the third link, this one, while from Doylist perspective, Alex wanted the book to have fun little callbacks, from Watsonian, Bill simply can't help himself. Bill loves trying to be funny. He's trying to keep the reader hooked, and keeping the story interesting through callbacks is one way to do that. Some of these are Bill, some are self-referential because Bill's talking about real events from the past. (rats, cipherite suit, Small World cassette, we'll get to those later)
Bill has a habit of telling the truth through his lies. What I mean by that is, if he is repeating himself through actions or words, it's probably because there's some truth to it. If he's contradicting himself, there's something he's hiding. He'll claim he has no weaknesses, but later admit he does. He'll say he has no exes, only to reference exes later. So, we can glean truths from the lies he's telling in the pages.
I think Alex is a good enough writer to keep Ford and his writing (mostly) in character. He's made retcons/continuity errors before, but he knows the fandom will pick apart everything and find them, and will have a reason for it. There's definitely some fake pages, which begs the question, which are real?
One detail I want to point out is the vignette/burn marks on the edges of some of the pages. My secondary theory is about these. (And no, it doesn't indicate they were fake.) I'll explain later.
Assumptions/disclaimers: The pages we're shown are roughly chronological, though skip forward where surviving J3 pages would go. Pages aren't realistically double-sided like they would be in J3, these are inserted into tBoB magically. I don't have a blacklight version of J3, so I'm probably missing a little bit of context there. References J3 quite a few times, so this post works best if you are able to reference both books. I can go into detail and post more pictures for any sections that aren't clear.
First off, 'Lost in the woods'. This one I believe is real, because Ford's (author's cipher) codes are in it. This code is consistently used in the book whenever Ford inserts a page, even on the moth. For Bill to use this code would break the established pattern Alex has made. However, I agree with Gin that Bill intentionally placed this page to establish Ford as lonely, and thus make Bill look better for befriending him in contrast. I don't think it's that odd for Ford to talk about his social awkwardness, he talks about his childhood bullying pretty frankly, specifically on a page meant to be an author's About Me. However, he did rip this one out, so I think he was trying to ignore his feelings by hiding this page. No vignette.
'Cipher speaks', as we've discussed, is likely a fake/altered meeting. Vignettes on both pages. On the second page you can see where it looks burnt in one corner, and there's even tear marks like there's a page missing there, perhaps their real first meeting. It's also strange for Ford to draw himself like that.
'My Muse & Me'- Ford refers to Bill as his Muse again. Despite my doubts (I went back and forth on this one), I think this one has to be real. We find on the website computer (code: Fordtramarine) that Ford tried to submit a paper on fordtramarine. In that paper he refers to an 'extradimensional entity' and 'two-dimensional'. He shouldn't know that Bill is interdimensional at this point, so Ford must mean 'outside of physical reality', as in, the astral plane. Though, there's a painting of 'a muse' in the paper. Wasn't Bill supposed to be secret? Perhaps he thought he could get away with that small reference? Perhaps this paper was submitted more recently? I don't like the idea that things from the website are also fake, since it would be strange for Bill to have such narrative control there. The website seems to reveal things Bill can't control, even if Bill is talking. This page also establishes more timeline. This is saying that not only could Bill freely move in and out of Ford's mind within a year, he had full access to alter it as well, ahead of their deal before the test. This page is probably to make it seem appealing to let Bill into your mind. It also serves a purpose of showing us Ford had let Bill fully into his mind at this point in the story Bill's weaving. I am curious why would Ford hide this only to submit a paper on it, just to keep his Muse secret? And those damn red triangles, did Bill draw those, implying he could possess Ford before their deal? No burns/vignette. The neighboring pages both have it, why not this one?
June 15th- There is direct dialogue from Bill quoted, however, he refers to Bill as his Muse. Wouldn't Ford be creeped the hell out by the rat thing, and be alarmed that Bill possessed things just to kill them? I think this page was real, but was ripped out by Bill. Heavy vignette.
(Sorry for the poor quality, my phone camera is awful)
At this point I should explain: I think the burn/vignette represents Bill 'burning away' memories/altering them. Ford's memories, but possibly even the reader's. I want to be clear; I don't mean Bill erased the entire memory of the page, I mean Bill erased at least some part of those events. When it's heavy around the edges, heavier manipulation. It also could indicate which ones Bill burned/destroyed. More evidence for this later.
Karaoke page- How did Bill convince Ford to drink with him after the rat thing? Bill made him forget it was Bill. "The rats were his idea?" Yeah, he told you that right away, why did he need to tell you again? While probable this happened, the writing from Ford is sus. "This Bill guy, he's really got it all figured out"? Sounds a bit like Bill talking. The drawing is strangely detailed, too. 'Dancing queen' (disco girl's parody origin) was released in '76, so that lines up time wise, at least. Likely altered/created to make Bill seem friendlier. Either could have destroyed this one if there was a real version. Vignette.
A Voice from the Past spread- He says 'my Muse', but then mentions Bill by name, which indicates it's altered. Is the first bit real, then? Why would Ford rip out this important page revealing his muse's origin and past? His curiosity would overtake wanting to keep it secret, surely? And conversely, why would Bill fabricate it? To make himself seem more sympathetic? However, there is another explanation. There is the possibility Bill erased the memories of this conversation and it really happened in some form. Bill probably realized after revealing this information to Ford it could ruin his plans. Some vignette at the top, mostly on the right page. In that is a drawing of space and a code. The code says 'forget the past." Coincidence, or purposeful on a page for a conversation Bill made Ford forget? Bill could have ripped out the pages (if they existed) himself. It's also important to note Bill is trying to isolate Ford here, which is another reason he'd hide the pages/alter memories of talking about Stanley. Also, if Bill erased the phone number from Ford's mind later, it would make sense why Ford had to send a postcard.
A Winter Break/The Krampus adventure. Where would these pages have gone if they were real? It was January for the test, so it was before the deal, but after the bunker? Gin mentioned it feeling 'off' and strange because it's just Krampus, nothing weird or Gravity Falls-y about it, and I agree. And also, Fidds knocking it out feels... weird. I think that story is fabricated with some real details thrown in. Fidds is noticeably shaken up after, but otherwise the whole story seemed almost whimsical, and just...weird, and not in the GF way. It's fake. Ford goes back inside after looking outside in Time Traveler's Pig. He doesn't come outside onto the porch at all. You could say he comes back out after that, maybe. You could say it's a retcon. But we know the children's footprints were Dipper and Mabel, not random kidnapped kids. (Bill likely wouldn't expect the reader to know this.) My eyes are also drawn to the green and red rectangles. The festive theming bring to mind a Christmas special, and how often are those only partly canon? So, then what's real about it? I believe the gloves, and possibly the snow globe was real, since they come up again later. I believe if there was a monster, Ford (or bill possessing ford 'then-DARKNESS') fought it off, traumatizing Fidds even more. Something made Fidds shaken up. Fidds and Ford probably spent Christmas together. And Bill did warn Ford about Fidds' second thoughts (mentioned in J3). Did Fiddleford notice Ford forgetting things? Did he assume Ford was simply unshaken by what happened? For me what seals the deal is the heavy vignette around those pages. Bill altered his memories of what happened and is telling us this story instead, probably to make it seem not as bad, so Ford wouldn't be so angry that Bill wasn't there/realize that he possessed Ford. I'm also suspicious of the "Trust No One." at the end. Did this phrase really come from Bill? Wouldn't Bill be saying 'Trust me'? To be honest, it's possible the last page here was half a real conversation, but the way Ford suddenly changes his tune is strange AF and I suspect shenanigans for it. And the things Bill says are very different from 'F is not bold enough to follow through.' (J3 code, An Encounter) Also, most of these pages seem to have no reason to be ripped out, aside from mentioning Stan by name/drawing them, but he could have crossed that out, and the last page which Ford would have hidden from Fidds. If they were real in some form, Bill probably destroyed them to hide the truth.
Stanley memories pages- Real, not much to say about those. Goes after Bill's warning. Probably legitimately torn out by Ford since he'd want to keep these pictures before hiding J3. Though I do notice they are covering up a lot of red triangles, perhaps also drawn by Bill. No vignette.
Dream, or warning?- Before Jan. 17th. Real, since I can't see why Bill would make up a warning about himself. He wants the reader to trust him. The heavy vignette, again, indicates he made Ford forget about it and destroyed the pages before he could solve it, which would probably be easy since it was a dream. The laughter+fire at the end indicates Bill discovered them. Just a fun side note: the song referenced is 'Im your puppet'
"I was wrong about everything" spread- I think goes in the gap where the black scribbled out pages are in J3. Again, the Author's cipher is here, indicating these are real. Vignette again. Bill's possessing Ford a lot, trying to erase the idea of fighting back from his mind(unsuccessfully), likely also hiding these pages. More red triangles.
Bill-proof suit- Goes after The Blind Eye- references being banned from the library, Blind eye mentions still researching Bill. J3 said he discovered the chant to enter someone's mind by researching Bill, so he could also find the anti-cipher society and the cassette. Real. Bill likely destroyed these pages and the previous ones to try and slow down Ford and erase his plans to destroy Bill. Vignette.
Zom-bills to Looky Here: After 'Ways to hide', as Zom-bills is written in invisible ink, but before the truck stop. (This would require Ford to have written on the right page first, then Bill tore the rest of these out, but not a huge stretch) Bill is fucking with Ford hard. He's probably taking his anger out on Ford while simultaneously trying to bully and manipulate him like he would do to his henchmaniacs, as he says later. Vignette on most of these- he's constantly possessing Ford and making him black out, trying to manipulate his memory to make him compliant/torture him. Bill likely destroyed the cassette+the memory of it so it couldn't be used against him, as Ford presumably never gets the chance to. Why he's showing the reader this? He thinks it's funny. He could also be hoping to scare the reader, if the reader knows what he's capable of, they'll be more afraid, and fear and love are the same, right? Notably the sticky note page is only a little darkened, probably because Bill genuinely was trying to talk at first. I can't find any evidence that these are fake, but there's no codes indicating they're real either. I think they were real, but Bill destroyed at least some of them.
(Side note: Computer code: Oroborous. Curiously uses Bill's cipher, bill writes in J3 too. These pages are also vignetted. Bill wouldn't like Ford knowing he showed fear. He also purposefully didn't give the reader these 'missing pages', because he hates them and doesn't want to reveal his fear.)
Polaroids- Did Ford destroy this himself like the VHS? Trying to avoid being blamed for things Bill did? Just ashamed/horrified? Curiously, no vignette on the polaroids (this could be just to have the full page visible), or Bill wanted Ford to remember these to have the threat sink in fully. Probably actually happened, Bill doesn't really have a reason to fake these pages as they make him look worse/scarier.
Blackness/'No' pages: This is largely where my theory that vignette=memory manipulation makes the most sense, The darkness overtaking the page represents bill's influence and control, and stops resembling the journal pages much (though it could be invisible ink again). He can mess with Ford's mind as much as he likes. If these pages were ever real, Bill could have destroyed them himself too. Bill's pretty much telling the story here.
Fidds page, S page- Gin made another excellent post pointing out the problems with these. They're a bit redundant when compared to J3, aren't they? And in oddly specific ways. The use of the brother code indicates they're real, though. If Bill erased Ford's memories of these pages, him basically re-writing them makes sense, and also Ford going from 'the caves hold the answer' to 'the caves might hold the answers', the snow going from 'begun to fall' to 'has fallen', and going 'fidds wont speak to me'! instead of 'my assistant has clearly left me'. In some way Ford has probably retained a bit of his plans, but its not a stretch to say he'd loop his train of thought after losing memories. The "I grow maddened" at the edge is very shaky and blurry, which could reflect the shaky and blurry memory.
I also notice (this has probably been pointed out before) now in J3 that only once outside of Gravity Falls (route 14) can Ford plan clearly. Perhaps Cipher's influence is weaker outside the town? It makes sense. if Ford sent the postcard and made his plan while free(ish) of Bill's meddling, that's why Bill couldn't just erase his memory of his plan again.
So...yeah! Some are definitely fake. Some are placed or altered intentionally to serve a narrative. Bill could be manipulating the reader's and ford's memory to have never seen these pages. Some of these memories could have been simply warped, or erased later- not right away. I'll be honest I don't love the implication that Bill can just manipulate Ford's memories freely, so I'm sure there are significant limitations to it. Bill has to stall for the whole book and give away a lot of secrets in order to change the reader's brain enough for him to be satisfied, and even then it's not enough to make the reader give in. Bill's abilities are much less than he purports. He also says that the person can notice his 'tune-ups', so there is only so much he could alter someone's brain before they notice. However, if he's been messing with Ford's head this long, he'd have a big advantage. Is the explanation that Bill erased Ford's memory a little lazy? ...Yeah? But it also kind of heightens how badly Ford was being manipulated and why he got so paranoid and unhinged there. It lets a lot of these puzzle pieces fit together that wouldn't otherwise.
My vignette theory isn't super strong, I'll admit, but I think it definitely indicates something, given some pages don't have it when they could have. They could also simply indicate those pages were burned, though it being on the fake pages makes less sense then. Bill having destroyed the pages himself makes sense for a lot of the pages, but I cant rule out the possibility Ford did destroy some of them out of frustration/shame.
Something I also realized while going through J3 again is how many 'doodles' in J3 involve red triangles. (you can see an example on Frilliam's page) The triangles I assumed were Ford's obsession with Bill, but what if they were Bill's obsession? For another post perhaps.
So, what do y'all think? Ideas? Agree? Disagree? Things I missed? Questions? Something huge that shatters my whole theory? Let me know!
#gravity falls#the book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#tbob#gravity falls theory#the book of bill spoilers#book of bill spoilers#tbob spoilers
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I reread the end of TVL last night and pulled out some of Lestat’s account of the trial for anyone who hasn’t read the book. I tried to keep out any direct spoilers but obviously we don’t know how the show will adapt this part. Anyway I thought it was worth a refresh on what Lestat says happens leading up to the trial and the aftermath of it. This is kind of a long post but it’s interesting even if you don’t plan on reading TVL. Under the cut for length/spoilers-
Here he describes the period of time after his ‘death’. He needs blood from a strong vampire to recover but is alone now:
But without more of that healing blood, without a fresh infusion, I was left at the mercy of time to heal my wounds.
And what Louis could not describe in his story is what happened to me after, how for years I hunted on the edge of the human herd, a hideous and crippled monster, who could strike down only the very young or infirm. In constant danger from my victims…
The wounds I'd suffered affected my very spirit, my capacity to reason.
With no one else to turn to, he eventually goes to Armand for help. I’m curious about this in the show because the coven tries to contact him via his bank dude but it could be that Lestat is actually already nearby/came to Paris on his own. He may even be trying to find Louis and Claudia before the coven does.
When I had recovered sufficiently to make the long voyage to Europe, I turned to the only one that I could turn to: Armand. Armand who lived still on the land I'd given him, in the very tower where I'd been made by Magnus, Armand who still commanded the thriving coven of the Theater of the Vampires in the boulevard du Temple, which still belonged to me.
Armand plays innocent and gets Lestat to tell him what happened to him:
Once again his eyes moved over me caressingly.
And there was thinly veiled excitement in him, a fever that I could feel like the warmth of the nearby fire. I knew he was trying to read my thoughts.
"What's happened to you?" he asked.
My scars were puzzling him. They were too numerous, too intricate, scars of an attack that should have meant death.
Armand had told Lestat earlier in the book that his fledglings would always hate/resent him, echoed in that bit in the show where Louis is talking about turning Madeline.
But it was the story of Louis and Claudia that came rushing out, in stammering and half truths, sans one salient fact: that Claudia had been only... a child.
I told briefly of the years in Louisiana, of how they had finally risen against me just as he had predicted my children might. I conceded everything to him, without guile or pride, explaining that it was his blood I needed now. Pain and pain and pain, to lay it out for him, to feel him considering it. To say, yes, you were right. It isn't the whole story. But in the main, you were right.
This could be where Armand gets such a detailed account of their lives for the play. Between Lestat’s account, Armand maybe reading his and Louis’ mind and Claudia’s diaries, they have a pretty complete if biased picture to work off.
Was it sadness I saw in his face then? Surely it wasn't triumph. Unobtrusively, he watched my trembling hands as I gestured. He waited patiently when I faltered, couldn't find the right words.
A small infusion of his blood would hasten my healing, I whispered. A small infusion would clear my mind. I tried not to be lofty or righteous when I reminded him that I had given him this tower, and the gold he'd used to build his house, that I still owned the Theater of the Vampires, that surely he could do this little thing, this intimate thing, for me now. There was an ugly naiveté to the words I spoke to him, addled as I was, and weak and thirsting and afraid. The blaze of the fire made me anxious. The light on the dark grain of the woodwork of these stuffy rooms made imagined faces appear and disappear.
"I don't want to stay in Paris," I said. "I don't want to trouble you or the coven at the theater. I am asking this small thing. I am asking ..." It seemed my courage and the words had run out.
A long moment passed:
"Tell me again about this Louis," he said. (!!!)
The tears rose to my eyes disgracefully. I repeated some foolish phrases about Louis's indestructible humanity, his understanding of things that other immortals couldn't grasp.
Armand is likely already seeing Louis at this point, keep in mind.
I saw something in him quicken. A faint blush came to his cheeks.
"They have been seen here in Paris," he said softly. "And she is no woman, this creature. She is a vampire child."
I can't remember what followed. Maybe I tried to explain the blunder. Maybe I admitted there was no accounting for what I'd done. Maybe I brought us round again to the purpose of my visit, to what I needed, what I must have. I remember being utterly humiliated as he led me out of the house and into the waiting carriage, as he told me that I must go with him to the Theater of the Vampires.
"You don't understand," I said. "I can't go there. I will not be seen like this by the others. You must stop this carriage. You must do as I ask."
"No, you have it backwards," he said in the tenderest voice.
Armand then traps him under the theater and starves him until he is forced to drink dead blood. I’m imagining this or a similar version of events is going on while Armand is dating Louis and Claudia is an active coven member. Remember Louis asking Armand if all this was happening while they were together in his flat?
I scarcely remember being forced by him out of the carriage and stumbling along the broad pavements as he pushed me towards the theater doors.
…
And finally starvation as I lay on the floor of a brick-lined cell, unable even to shout curses at him-
Sometime in the dark, I discovered a mortal victim there. But the victim was dead. Cold blood, nauseating blood. The worst kind of feeding, lying on that clammy corpse, sucking up what was left.
Armand tells Lestat about this trial when he’s very ill:
And then Armand was there, standing motionless in the shadows, immaculate in his white linen and black wool. He spoke in an undertone about Louis and Claudia, that there would be some kind of trial. Down on his knees he came to sit beside me, forgetting for a moment to be human, the boy gentleman sitting in this filthy damp place. "You will declare it before the others, that she did it," he said.
Armand then gets him all dressed up for the trial so he looks fashionable and not like he’s being tortured-
"Get clothing for him," Armand said. His hand was resting on my shoulder. "He must look presentable, our lost lord," he told them. "That was always his way."
And then Armand makes him testify against Claudia- don’t know how this will work with this being a play that was rehearsed. But I feel it’s likely that Lestat was coerced more than we’ve seen.
—and Armand saying:
"You will say what I have told you to say." It was a mob tribunal of monsters, white-faced demons shouting accusations, Louis pleading desperately, Claudia staring at me mute, and my saying, yes, she was the one who did it, yes, and then cursing Armand as he shoved me back into the shadows, his innocent face radiant as ever.
"But you have done well, Lestat. You have done well."
Armand then brings him to Magnus’ tower:
And then we went up and up through the old tower to the roof.
I had Claudia's bloody yellow dress in my hands. I had seen her in a narrow wet place where she had been burnt by the sun. "Scatter the ashes!" I had said. Yet no one moved to do it. The torn bloody yellow dress lay on the cellar floor. Now I held it in my hands. "They will scatter the ashes, won't they?" I said. (Upsetting :/)
"Didn't you want justice?" Armand asked, his black wool cape close around him in the wind, his face dark with the power of the recent kill. (Lestat in fact, never said he wanted “justice”)
Armand then tries to convince Lestat that Louis is dead. I think they might be shifting this part to Louis’ 1973 suicide attempt.
Armand's eyes were red.
"Louis—where is he?" I asked. "They didn't kill him. I saw him. He went out into the rain ..."
"They have gone after him," he answered. "He is already destroyed."
Liar, with the face of a choirboy.
"Stop them, you have to! If there's still time..."
He shook his head.
"Why can't you stop them? Why did you do it, the trial, all of it, what do you care what they did to me?"
"It's finished."
…
This part here explains that Armand really would side with his coven, but also attempt to keep Louis:
"And you don't mean to help me, do you?" Despair.
He leaned forward, and his face transformed itself as it had done years and years ago, as if his rage were melting it from within.
"You, who destroyed all of us, you who took everything. Whatever made you think that I would help you!" He came closer, the face all but collapsed upon itself. "You who put us on the lurid posters in the boulevard du Temple, you who made us the subject of cheap stories and drawing room talk!"
…
"We had our Eden under that ancient cemetery," he hissed. "We had our faith and our purpose. And it was you who drove us out of it with a flaming sword. What do we have now! Answer me! Nothing but the love of each other and what can that mean to creatures like us!”
Then Armand pushes him out of the tower-
“You don't understand anything. You never did." But he wasn't listening to me. And it didn't matter whether or not he was listening. He was drawing closer, and in a dark flash his hand went out, and my head went back, and I saw the sky and the city of Paris upside down.
I was falling through the air.
And I went down and down past the windows of the tower, until the stone walkway rose up to catch me, and every bone in my body broke within its thin case of preternatural skin.
————————
Now 2x08 showed a very different version of the tower scene- for one, Louis was never supposed to be there- but I am not convinced whatsoever that it’s what actually happened. It feels way too much like an Armand version of events and since this portion is so importantly clarified by Lestat, I don’t think we’ll see what really happened until Lestat tells it. Obviously it will be different and Louis may still be present for it, but im curious to see how this part is handled by season 3. I think there will be some big changes to fit with the show canon, but I also think it’s still going to have elements of Lestat’s version. Especially because when Louis sees Lestat finally in 2022, Lestat is still not mentally recovered from this event after 80+ years.
#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#the vampire lestat
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Super Surprises
Harley Keener x Reader
Masterlist - Join My Taglist!
Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: Marvel
Summary: Harley's SO shows up earlier than expected to his apartment and discovers he leads a slightly more interesting life than the average MIT student
Word Count: 1,781
Category: Fluff, Humor
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
"Harley! You'll never believe the email I got from my professor! I mean, I'm not complaining, since it meant I could get out of class early and grab some food for us before coming here, but-"
I stopped short, frowning from the kitchen of my boyfriend's apartment. Normally, by now, he would've come out here to join me, or at least acknowledged me from somewhere else in the apartment. But I hadn't heard anything since I'd walked in the door.
Granted, I'd shown up much earlier than he'd been expecting me. My professor had canceled class about five minutes after I'd sat down in the lecture hall because he couldn't find parking, had been trying for twenty minutes, and was fed up with the whole ordeal. Still, there was no reason Harley shouldn't have been here. His lack of response was odd.
"Harley?" I called, tentatively heading towards his bedroom. I heard a hushed commotion and some shuffling from inside, then a muffled bang before total silence. I reached the knob, starting to feel a little concerned for the wellbeing of my boyfriend, when he flung the door open a moment before I could.
"Hey," he said, fixing me with a delayed version of his usual grin. "Sorry, I was just... cleaning something up."
"That's okay..." I said, narrowing my eyes a little and trying to look past Harley into his room. He shifted in the doorway to block me, and I raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned at me, trying to look suave, but I wasn't buying it. I ducked under his arm and moved into the room, looking around with my hands on my hips.
"You, uh... you said you had a story about an email from your professor?" asked Harley from behind me. I just hummed without turning around. He was acting weird, and I was determined to figure out why.
I scanned the room, but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Other than my boyfriend, that is, who hovered behind me radiating a nervous energy I never��felt from him every time I took a step. I started moving around the room, and Harley looked so nervous I thought he might fidget so hard he hit his head on the ceiling. I walked past the window and his bed with no real effect, but the moment I started heading for the closet with purpose, he sprang across the room to jump in front of me.
I put one hand on my hip and fixed him with a look.
"What's in the closet, Har?"
"Nothing."
I snorted. "According to my sources, that's a load of bullshit."
"What sources?"
"My common sense. Come on, you're never this jumpy, especially not around me! So what's in the closet. I know you're not hiding a secret lover in there, so just tell me. What is it?"
"It's... a surprise," he managed, not even half as convincing as he would need to be. I just rolled my eyes and took another step towards him.
"Harley Keener, you aren't fooling anybody. You are, however, starting to worry me. So come on. What's in the closet?"
Harley's eyes darted around the room, scanning me and our surroundings, and I could see his brain working a mile a minute. Finally though, he sighed, the restlessness draining away from him as he settled his stare on me. He looked like the normal, slightly tired, sarcastic and blunt guy that I'd fallen for so fast in one of our physics classes again, and relief washed over me.
"You want to know what's in the closet? Fine. I was working up to telling you all this shit anyway, so why not now?"
I raised an eyebrow, but Harley just turned around to open the closet door a crack. He had a harsh, whispered conversation with someone apparently hiding inside, and my mind started racing, trying to come up with possibilities that would tie into this whole situation and actually make sense. Before I could come up with anything, Harley stepped back, and someone stepped out of the closet.
Never in a million years would I have been able to come up with the guess "Spider-Man is hiding in my boyfriend's closet".
My mouth dropped open as the beloved hero of New York stepped further into the room, Harley at his side. I just stared, trying to get my brain working again. I wasn't having much success.
"What... how... why-?"
"Remember I told you I met Tony Stark once, in Tennessee? When I was a little kid?"
I nodded, shifting my attention to Harley again. He had his hands in his pockets, and the usual casualness in his posture seemed a little more forced than usual.
"Well, I didn't mention that I saw him again. Regularly. He's kind of... adopted me, I guess, as a science kid who helped him fight off some bad guys one time. I actually go visit somewhat regularly, and Spider-Man's Tony's other science kid."
I blinked a few times, looking between the two people before me, my brain still trying and failing to play catchup. Spider-Man gave me a little wave, which didn't really help.
"That's... Harley, that's insane! Why didn't you... why didn't you tell me?"
He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little as his gaze fell towards the floor.
"I didn't want to tell you before we got serious. It just felt weird, like I was bragging or trying to get you to like me based on who I know. And I didn't want you to go out with me because of it, either. And then when we did get serious, it had been long enough that I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I was trying to figure it out, but I guess that's not a problem anymore."
He shot a look at Spider-Man that only a sibling could, with all the annoyance and irritation possible communicated in a single second. I couldn't help smiling.
"Well, I'm glad I know now," I said, crossing the room to take Harley's hand and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Har. I'm always happy to hear about you and your life, even when it's... unexpected."
He smiled at me, then leaned in and gave me a real kiss. I didn't let it go on for more than a few quick seconds, since we still had a guest in the room, but it was still nice. A little reassurance for us both.
"So..." I started, finally turning to the masked superhero in the room. "It's nice to meet you, Spider-Man."
I held out my hand for a handshake, which he returned.
"Yeah, it's nice to meet you too! Harley talks about you all the time."
I grinned, and I could see Harley shaking his head out of the corner of my eye. Spider-Man's voice made him sound way younger than I'd thought he was, but I decided not to comment on it. At least, not right now.
"So... what brings you to my boyfriend's dorm, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Oh! Well, I'm working on this case, and there's this technology that I think can help me track down the bad guys I'm looking for, but I can't figure out how to hack into it, and Mr. Stark's super busy-"
"Yeah, just gimme the drive," Harley interrupted, holding out his hand. Spidey obliged, then Harley glanced back at me. "Are you okay with this? I know we planned to just hang out together and do some studying..."
"Har, you're involved in superhero business. I'm not going to tell you to drop it, especially when it doesn't really have an impact on us." I turned to Spider-Man. "Luckily for you, I even brought extra helpings of food from Harley and I's favorite place. Although, it might be kind of hard to eat it through the mask."
Spider-Man turned to look at Harley, who completely missed it because he was staring at me.
"I never agreed to share my food with him. How could you offer that?"
I just smiled and shook my head, nodding in Spidey's direction. Harley turned to him with narrowed eyes, but his expression quickly changed when he saw something in Spider-Man's body language or otherwise that had his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. Maybe Spider-Man was secretly telepathic or something.
After a few long moments where Harley and Spidey were apparently managing to have a silent conversation despite the mask, the superhero turned back to me. Harley took my hand in his, a small smile on his face, and then a moment later, Spider-Man whipped off his mask.
A baby-faced teenager stared back at me with a beaming smile, and I instantly got hit with the most irrational surge of protectiveness I'd ever felt.
"Hi! I'm Peter," he said, giving me another little wave. "Peter Parker. Harley trusts you, and I trust him, so I figured... I could probably share this with you."
I smiled, reaching out to lightly squeeze Peter's arm.
"Thanks, Peter. I'm glad you did. And not to be dramatic, but I'll take your secret to the grave."
Peter's eyebrows shot up, and I heard Harley snort from next to me. I grinned at them both and headed for the kitchen.
"Now c'mon, you've got a case to work on or whatever and I have a ton of upper div calculus homework. None of us has time to waste."
Both boys followed after me, and within a few minutes we were settled at the table in Harley's apartment. Harley and I sat shoulder to shoulder, legs pressed against each other. Even though we were working on separate things, we were completely together, which made everything so much easier.
Every once in a while, I'd look up at Harley and Peter working over the same laptop. Whenever one of them noticed me, we shared smiles before returning to our tasks. We'd moved past the whole Stark-superhero thing pretty quickly, and I was okay with that. It didn't really change my impression of Harley or who he was, it was just another interesting aspect of his life. But I didn't miss the significance in Peter sharing his identity with me.
He wouldn't have done that, and Harley wouldn't have given him the silent yes, if Harley wasn't incredibly serious about this relationship. I'd become more and more convinced over the past few months that Harley was the one, and this told me he was most likely on the same page.
Of course, we'd have to have some conversations about that at some point in the future. But for right now, I was just happy to be working next to him, perfectly comfortable together, even in this new aspect of his life. Shoulder to shoulder through shitty classes and superhero drop-ins alike.
****************
Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989
Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten
#sophie's year of fic#marvel#avengers#harley keener#iron man#harley keener x reader#marvel fanfiction#marvel oneshot#marvel imagine#harley keener fanfiction#harley keener imagine#harley keener oneshot#peter parker#spiderman#mit#tony stark#ironfam#iron man 3#harley#the starks
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
Carlos Sainz x Black!Reader: ReFound
Y/n was a sweetheart compared to the other girls Carlos had dated. Carlos and Y/n met at a party in Spain during his summer break, where they explored each other to the fullest. After the break had ended, Carlos went back to work with a new woman- Rebbeca; while Y/n moved on to a whole new man as she understood that their interacted wasn't supposed to last.
That was the plan until Y/n's new partner noticed that her body had been changing rapidly over the two months he's known her (even though they've never been intimate) and voiced his concern with a pregnancy test that her dared her to take after an argument broke out.
With shaking hands, Y/n snatched the test from him, walking off to the bathroom and closing the door. Taking the test and setting the stick down, she panicked at the thought of being pregnant by Carlos who moved on with a new woman; which would leave her to make a decision. That decision became clear the moment she picked up the positive stick, she would raise this child on her own.
Carlos on the other hand felt something was off with him as he would have random headaches, vomit for no reason and always feel tired. His mom had asked if there was a possibility that his girlfriend was pregnant, yet the test she took came back negative. Thankfully the symptoms stopped after a month and he was back to normal health.
Y/n had now reached her six month mark and was glowing. Her boyfriend had left after finding out that she was in fact pregnant with another man's child. Today she was being dragged to a Formaula 1 Grand Prix and unbeknownst to her. Carlos works there. Her friend had gotten the tickets and passes from work and decided to bring the pretty momma to be along with her.
Carlos had driven exceptionally well today and was on podium in second place as his team celebrated his victory. Coming down from the high, he went off to the post race interviews moving from one booth to the next until his eyes landed on a specific sight that had him in shock. The Y/n he left behind because he thought people would hate him for being 30 and dating a 20 years old, was here in the paddock pregnant with a child he knew for sure belongs to him.
Asking the journalist for a moment, he walked straight towards the woman, standing in front of her yet blocking her from the cameras, he stared into her eyes as she looked at him in shock. Hugging her as tight yet gently as possible, "Hermosa, is it mines?" He asked with a shaky voice. Y/n looked up at him with glossy eyes as she nodded her head yes. At that moment Carlos' heart felt full. The crowd went at the interaction yet no one was able to hear anything so they all went silent. Rebbeca came forward, rubbing Carlos' back as he sniffled into Y/n's shoulder.
Y/n looking up and seeing her became scared as she started crying while apologising to the Scots. "Please don't cry, it's okay. I understand that this happened before I got here so there's no hard feelings" Carlos heard his girlfriend trying to calm his frightened baby mama. Duties had officially called back and Carlos was allowed to give the girls on last hug before leaving Rebecca to lead Y/n into the garage.
While Carlos finished up his media duties, Rebecca took the time getting to know Y/n. So far she learnt that Y/n is a 20 years old Jamaican- Indian whose family abandoned her for not becoming a doctor or lawyer. "So how far along are you sweetheart?" Rebbeca asked sweetly as to not startle the scared woman. Surprising Y/n smiled for the first time "I'm 7 1/2 months. He's got 2 1/2 left in there" She said shyly making Rebbeca smile at her in admiration.
They finally found Y/n friend and led her to the garage where her first instinct was to stand between her and Rebbeca yet Y/n told her it was fine. They sat and chatted, Y/n showing photos of her earlier stages of pregnancy which had Rebbeca cooing and Y/n's friend laughing.
When Carlos, they retreated to his driver's room where Y/n explained everything to him and they all came to an agreement to co-parent, him rolling in tears when Y/n revealed that they were expecting a baby boy.
#carlos sainz jr#carlos sainz jr x you#carlos sainz jr x reader#carlos sainz jr fanfic#carlos sainz jr imagine#scuderia ferrari
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
To add to the seemingly endless list of Chenford/Buddie parallels: both couples had moments before they dated (and before they even truly realized their feelings) in which they opened themselves to the possibility of that relationship and truly considered moving forward with it for the first time. (aka 7x01 is to Buddie what 3x14 is to Chenford) (long-ish post)
In the S3 finale of The Rookie, Lucy and Tim are finally out of their T.O.-Boot relationship, which opens up the possibility of them having something beyond that. Lucy even acknowledges that in 3x09 when she fake confesses her feelings for Tim in order to prove she can handle UC work. Even though the confession wasn't serious, it did bring up the fact that it could've been; Tim specifically actually had to consider how he'd respond to Lucy actually having feelings for him, since he believed her. This whole ordeal resurfaces in 3x14, first when Lucy flirts with him while UC, and later when they talk at the wedding, the first time both of them manifest being interested in each other and in pursuing a relationship. Lucy breaks away from Grey and Nyla to go talk to him (and they exchange looks over it); Tim checks her out; they bring up the flirting; Tim asks Lucy to save him a dance. It feels like they crossed a line, it feels like it's going somewhere, and it probably would've if not for all that happened after. 4x01 basically confirms that by showing both Lucy and Tim laying in bed(/couch), wondering whether or not to get up and go towards each other after a hug and an almost kiss. Although the show never acknowledges what would've happened if either of them had gotten up (and we know at least Lucy would've, because she was getting up when Tim interrupted her), it is heavily implied that during those two episodes they were interested in each other, but it ultimately led to nowhere (at the time).
(Unrelated kinda but we can also establish a parallel between Chenford and mid S2 Madney here. Jackson's death ruined what they could've had back then, but they still managed to have something else.)
(Btw this paragraph will be a little chaotic and I'm too lazy to reread it and organize it sorry but I swear it makes sense) We get this kind of subconscious-ish realization of feelings and openness to a possible relationship with Buddie too. For Buck, that happens in S7. I can't find that interview again for the life of me but remember when OS mentioned a few weeks ago that Buck felt something when he thought Eddie and Marisol had split up in 7x01? I think that was the moment when he finally opened himself to the possibility of dating Eddie (even if he didn't realize that's what he was doing). He had broken up with Natalia after he had realized that their relationship would always be about his death rather than his life and was actively trying to understand how he had changed since dying (if we go by his 6b plot). I think the fact that Eddie was missing from his coma dream is specifically significant for this reason. Eddie was the one major relationship in his life that Buck didn't confront during the coma. He was absent, because Buck wasn't ready to deal with what he meant to him yet. By S7, we see Buck way more open to dealing with his feelings, evidenced by the fact that he finally figured out his bisexuality and by how light that whole plot was/is. Buck was ready to deal with it, even if subconsciously, and I think a part of that was him finally opening himself up to the possibility of Eddie. His vibes in the locker room in 7x01 are a lot like Tim in 3x14 - he wasn't overtly flirting, but he was trying to take that step forward, willing to take that step forward, and only didn't bc Eddie told him he was still with Marisol. Unlike Tim, though, I don't think he has fully closed that door yet. He's redirecting these feelings to Tommy for now, but he's still there with Eddie. He just needs some time to figure it out.
When it comes to Eddie, I think this moment came much earlier and lasted a lot longer. His feelings finally came close enough to the surface (even if they didn't surface completely) when he got shot. In that moment, he reached for Buck, and he never truly stopped. He broke up with his girlfriend really soon after that; he avoided going on dates; he pulled Buck closer to his family life (s5/6 domestic Buddie my beloved) (also by revealing the will); he actually pretty much took Buck out on a date. Eddie was moving towards a romantic relationship for almost two years, completely open to dating Buck, until the cemetery scene. Buck thinks he's finally found his place with Natalia, and Eddie decides to stop pursuing him because he realizes (wrongly in my opinion but shhhh) that he'll never be able to be that person to Buck, because Buck has yet to realize that Eddie does see him and that Eddie sees him all the time. However, he resumes his pursuit in 7x01, because Buck breaks up with Natalia, and that means that Eddie still has a chance. Even Buck's relationship with Tommy points towards it, because it means Buck can feel like that about a man. So Eddie pulls Buck back into his family life by asking for advice and help with Christopher (and probably also through whatever is going to happen with the Diaz family now), starts to fuck up his relationship with his girlfriend (by moving too fast even though he doesn't want to, which was what killed his relationship with Ana), avoids his girlfriend, and indulges Buck's every idea (as seen through the bachelor party). Since the 7x01 locker room scene, he's been fully open to Buck, and Buck has been fully open to him. In conclusion: Buddie will be canon by the end of 8A.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
AITA for leaving my husband and abandoning my kids after finding out my husband's secret?
Tumblr Disclaimer: This is fictional, based on some backstory from my Even Ice Walls Fall Down fanfiction universe. This is not a real AITA post (that should get pretty obvious the more it goes on)
I (47F) left my ex-husband (47M) twenty-two years ago when our oldest daughter was two and our youngest daughter was one, after finding out my husband wasn't who I thought he was.
Without getting too in the weeds, my ex-husband (we'll call him Seth) and I knew each other for most of our lives. We met in middle school and we were friends for years. The kind of friends that all our other friends thought would eventually get together, but we insisted we wouldn't. Well, we did. And we did pretty young. We got married when we were 22 and had our first baby a year later. Our second came a year after that. They were the most beautiful baby girls in the world. The two of them and Seth were my whole world.
I didn't know at the time that he was already lying to me.
See, I found out later that Seth—who, up until that point, had been nothing but a wonderful husband and father—was a villain. You know how in the last few decades, people with superpowers began cropping up? Yeah. He was one of them. I don't know if I would have reacted the same if he'd been lying about being a superhero. But when he finally admitted who he was, my heart shattered. I felt so betrayed and angry. We'd known each other since we were eleven or twelve and he hadn't bothered telling me he was a villain with superpowers until we'd been married for three years and he'd had his powers for even longer than that.
But, finally, when we were twenty-five, he told me. Our marriage completely fell apart. I couldn't stomach that he was a villain. Seth grew up in a bad home. His parents were neglectful and often fought with each other when he wasn't in the room. He called himself a "Band-Aid Baby," born to try and save his parents' marriage. Which, obviously, didn't work. We had some friends who were five or six years older than us who helped him get out of his situation as soon as he could. I don't know if growing up in a house like that is the reason why he chose to be selfish with the powers he got. Part of me doesn't think so, even now. Because despite that bad situation he grew up in, he was always sweet and romantic with me, and he loved our girls.
Anyway. We got in a lot of fights. We woke the babies more than once with how loud we were yelling. I couldn't take it. He'd lied to me for years. He lived two lives—and would have happily kept doing so without my knowledge had I not gotten close enough to his secret to push him into telling me
When I say "villain," by the way, I don't mean "person with superpowers who uses them to jack a fancy car for a joyride." I know he's got the kind of blood on his hands that will never wash off. The kind that comes from taking a life. And he did when we were married.
As our marriage continued to crumble and I could no longer stand even being in the same room with him, I did what I had to. I left. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be with him.
And I left our babies with him.
Our girls were born in the earlier days of superpowered people appearing. No one knew how powers manifested, and they popped up randomly. No one knew if they were passed on genetically. I didn't know if those sweet, innocent babies would end up with powers like him. Would end up using them the way he did. I know this sounds bad coming from their mother, but I didn't want to have any part of that, if they ended up with powers. I didn't want anything to do with anyone with powers. I still don't.
So after we divorced, I left. I gave Seth full custody. I didn't even ask for visitation. He didn't contest the divorce. That doesn't mean he didn't fight for us. He just did it before the divorce. Once he was served, he accepted it and didn't fight anymore. I think he understood we were done.
But there was one more reason I left the girls with him. I could have taken them. If his secret got out, the courts would have given me full custody in a heartbeat (and he probably would have gone to jail). But I kept his secret during the process because, at the end of the day, I thought the girls would be safer with him. See, if I took our daughters with me, and somehow someone found out they were a villain's kids, my babies would never have a moment of peace or safety ever again. They would constantly be in danger. We would constantly have to move and restart our lives. And I couldn't do that to them. And Seth, fortunately or unfortunately, is one of those villains who is more than powerful enough to protect them. Keep them safe.
Seth and I made a promise to each other during the process. I wouldn't tell the courts (or anyone else) about his identity, and he wouldn't tell our daughters about being a villain either unless they end up with powers themselves. Not a fair trade, but I wanted our daughters to be able to have the opportunity to make a better choice.
I haven't seen any of them since. Except Seth's villain persona on the news every so often. I moved across the country and have kept my life small ever since. My workplace knows I'm divorced, but that's about all the details I've ever given
I don't know. Recently I've started to wonder if I made the wrong decision. It's been twenty-two years since I saw my daughters' faces. They're all grown up now and I haven't seen them since they were babies. I didn't get to take pictures of them in their prom dresses or at high school graduation. I missed their lives. I don't know if I can go back and face all those ghosts, though.
#Even Ice Walls Fall Down#Aurora Writes#Rory Writes#this is Gem and Pearl's mom and Impulse's ex-wife if that wasn't clear#this is postStrong Walls#I wrote this before Joined Walls and its timeline placement#👍 cool
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Marcus:
Simon expressing his disinterest to PRINCE Wilhelm:
Marcus:
Simon trying to end things with Marcus because after Wille asked about him, Simon realized it was hurting Wille and it was never his intention from the beginning:
Marcus:
Also Marcus:
Marcus:
Also Simon, the last person among Felice, Sara and Wille to ever find out that it was August who posted the video and no one ever told him about it:
Cause if only at least one of them said something earlier, he would've understood Wille's stance better. He would've not try going out with Marcus. And instead of just being a victim, he would've been able to rescue himself sooner than it should've been.
If they were only honest to Simon from the beginning, it would've been easier. Simon's always been understanding. His priority was always the people he loves. Simon will forgive for sure. Like the couple of times Wille pushed him away but he was still very accepting.
It's not also easy to blame Wille into this, the queen made him believe that it would be best to keep it a secret. He was manipulated to believing that not telling Simon would be best for the both of them. But it wasn't. And in the end they are still the victims unable to get their justice, they are still suffering after the fallout with a drifting relationship.
While Felice and Simon are not just as close to share information, with the fact it's not her place to talk about.
And Sara sold her brother to school dormitory and dated the perpetrator.
And I really hate Marcus, for sure most of us do but his existence is still so important, although things we didn't want to happen to them happened.. it made Simon realize that even if he tries to meet other people, the fear to lose Wille was stronger that the moment Wille was ready to let him go, Simon had to chase Wille and hold him back, stomping all of his pride on the ground to not lose the person he love. If that kiss didn't happen, they won't be fighting on the music room and the secret won't be revealed, Wille will not realize that hiding things from Simon was what's keeping them apart. We might not find out that Wille was willing and not afraid to give up the throne just to be free with Simon. And after all these, we had the chance to witness how Simon is willing to be a secret by the change of circumstance because he finally realized that Wille is more important than anyone and everything else.
Their time apart hurts but it was beautiful, they grew and learned what's more important to them. This time for sure they will be stronger.
And Marcus is annoying but his existence was one of the reason how Simon and Wille's love turned even more special.
#young royals#simon eriksson#wille x simon#crown prince wilhelm#wilmon#prince wilhelm#simon young royals#youngroyals#edvin ryding#omar rudberg#marcus young royals#felice ehrencrona#felice young royals#young royals sara#sara eriksson
223 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cubicle // 11) Start of Something Good
STORY PAGE
Word Count: 3103
Monday // Harry
When I got to work, I already had a stack of stuff on my desk with post-it notes attached from Nina. I rolled my eyes as I shrugged out of my jacket, hanging it on the back of the chair. Then I made my way to the break room.
I was disappointed not to find Roni in there, but I knew it was still early. I'd been so anxious to see her again, I'd hardly slept and by five AM, I'd finally just decided to get the day started. After preparing my tea, I sat at the table, hoping Roni would walk in any minute. I saw both Alice and Travis with whom I'd chatted for a bit, and even Gerard made an appearance. But never the face I wanted to see. I considered just going to her side of the office and strolling to her desk, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. Nerves perhaps? But what was I nervous about? I'd slept with the woman two nights in a row, for fuck's sake.
After twenty minutes, I deduced that she wasn't coming so I walked back to my desk to start on the pile of work. I was halfway through a report, staring at the computer screen when I heard a light tap behind me. I swiveled my chair around to see Roni standing at the edge of my cubicle, a coffee mug in her hand.
"Hi, Harry," she muttered shyly.
"Hi," I grinned.
God, she looked beautiful. She had her hair pulled back from her face, pretty little tendrils falling on either side. She wore a pink and black polka-dotted jumper that fit her like a glove, yet showed no skin, and a black skirt. It was probably the most conservative ensemble I'd seen her wear, though she still looked completely sexy.
"How are you?" she inquired as she stepped closer to me.
"I'm great now," I replied, leaning back in my chair.
She beamed at me, her hands gripping her cup. "Good." Then with a lick of her lips she continued. "I'd hoped to run into you this morning, but I got held up with Greta."
"Oh," I raised my eyebrows. So that's what happened.
"Yeah," she grimaced, leaning against my desk. "As soon as I got out of the car she hounded me about crap that needed done for the sales team. She chatted about it all the way and insisted we get it done first thing. So I only just now got a chance to get my morning coffee."
She brought her cup to her lips, taking a sip. I suddenly felt like a complete prat for not going to her desk earlier.
"I was wondering," I admitted. "I waited for you."
"You did?"
The way she looked at me just then, like she was disappointed that she'd missed me, or worse, made me wait, took all I had in me not to take her into my arms. She looked sweet and vulnerable, and I wanted to hold her and kiss her.
"Yes," I nodded, trying not to give too much away.
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
Alright, here's the thing. This woman does something to me. She exudes this sexiness like no other woman I've met before. I'm constantly finding myself wanting to reach my hands out and touch her, pull her into my lap and fuck her like there's no tomorrow. But another part of me is starting to feel something else. I can't quite put my finger on it, probably because I've never felt these emotions before. It's like...I care about her. I care about what she's doing and how she's feeling. It's driving me crazy, to be honest.
I wasn't lying when I'd texted her last night to tell her I'd thought about her all day. That wasn't some cheap line. I'd thought about her all fucking day. She was all I'd thought about. I'd probably gotten a total of three hours' sleep after I'd gotten home. Even after jerking off, imagining her sweet mouth on my cock, I'd tossed and turned until I finally got up and took a cold shower. She was on my mind whilst I ate breakfast, when I went to the gym, and even when I stood in the queue at the cafe. I'd wanted to call her, and even came close a couple times as I pulled my phone out of my pocket, immediately scrolling to her name. But I didn't press it.
Now, hearing her apologise to me...for what? For not being in the break room as early as I had been? For being busy whilst I sat at the table, resolved to making idle chit chat with co-workers to whom I barely speak otherwise? Waiting for her gorgeous body to walk through the door? It was almost more than I could bear.
"Harry..." Roni spoke again, almost causing me to physically shake the thoughts from my head. She set her mug down on the desk and stepped even closer to me. Her hand met mine resting on the edge of the desk, her fingers grazing over it. "I had a wonderful time with you this weekend."
I looked directly at her then, her beautiful eyes sparkling. Her voice had been just barely above a whisper, but I'd understood every word. I grinned at her, silent for a moment. Although her lips didn't quite smile back, the expression on her face did.
"I did too, Roni," I said.
I turned my hand over so that hers fell into mine. I caressed the back of it with my thumb, not taking my gaze off of her.
"Hey, Harry, have you finished —" I heard a voice begin.
As soon as I looked to my left, I felt Roni's hand leave mine. Nina stood by my cubicle partition, a folder tucked under her arm and her lips pursed. She's not an unattractive woman, but at that moment she might as well have been Satan.
"Yes, Nina?" I asked, my tone underlined with contempt.
"Have you finished the report for Woolery yet?"
"I gave you that one on Friday," I spat.
I didn't mean to be so harsh with her, but this was the third time in the past week that she'd asked me about something that I'd already done. Not to mention the fact that she'd interrupted my time with Roni.
"There's some revisions that need to be made," Nina retorted. "I put it on your desk this morning."
"What?" I sighed, lifting the stack of papers. Underneath two other reports was the one to which she was referring. "Well, why didn't you put it on the top if you needed it done first?"
"I need them all done first," she huffed.
I turned my chair around and glared at her. It wasn't even ten in the morning yet, and she was already getting under my skin. I heard Roni try to stifle a giggle behind me.
"I'll get to it as soon as I can," I told Nina, my jaw set.
"Thank you," she said before turning around and walking away.
"That woman needs to take a chill pill," Roni piped up.
"Tell me about it," I smirked.
"Unfortunately," she added, "I have to get back to work, so I'll let you get to yours."
"Okay."
"See ya, Harry." As Roni turned around I noticed the back of her stockings had a little line with tiny black bows going down. I immediately imagined running my hands up them and under her skirt.
"Oh, by the way," she said when she reached the edge of my cubicle, "I'm free for lunch if you are."
"Absolutely," I grinned. "Noon?"
"Perfect. Bye."
She waved at me with the tips of her fingers before turning away once again. Like always, I watched her go, her ass shifting underneath her skirt. Only this time, I could add more to my mental image.
Roni
He'd waited for me. Oh, I could just die! When Greta chatted my ear off as soon as I got to work this morning, I knew I was in trouble. She's my supervisor, so there's no way I could tell her to put a sock in it. For an hour and a half, I helped her with a project, my head beginning to pound from lack of caffeine. I knew I'd missed my chance to run into Harry, so when Greta was finally satisfied, I quickly grabbed my cup of coffee from the break room and made my way toward Harry's cubicle.
To hear him admit that he'd waited for me, wondering where I was just about crushed my heart, but at the same time lifted me on a cloud much higher than nine. I could tell by his tone that he was a bit relieved to know that I had been busy working and hadn't stood him up, although we hadn't exactly made plans to meet. Neither of us want to reveal too much just yet, but I think we both know there's something between us. The way he turned his hand over to catch mine told me a lot, and if Nina hadn't interrupted when she did...well, let's just say I might have kissed him at his desk.
Office romance is a tricky subject. I know this from experience. My ex, Roland, and I used to work together. It was the reason why I'd asked Harry if he'd ever dated anyone from work before. It was a little bit different situation, however, because it was at a factory. Roland was a maintenance worker, and I was a receptionist. We had already been dating when I started there. I rarely saw him unless he happened to come into the office. Still, in the end it proved to be a sticky situation after our break-up, and I finally started looking for another job.
I'm not going to be presumptuous about Harry and me. We've gone on two dates and had amazing sex. We flirt at work. It's too soon to think we'll turn into anything more than a fling. But even with that, you have to be careful. And I like Harry too much to risk doing something stupid.
When I got back to my desk, Gerard Holcomb was looking around as though he'd lost something.
"Can I help you?" I asked him, not bothering to hide the annoyance in my voice.
"Ah, Miss Graver," he announced, turning around. "Did you happen to print that price list for me yet?"
"You can't print that yourself?" I raised my eyebrows, perturbed.
"I thought you were making edits to it. Remember, we talked about it Friday?"
I sighed and sat down in my chair. "Sorry, Gerard. I got busy."
Gerard eyed me for a moment before speaking again. He made my skin crawl.
"Can I have it before lunch?"
"Sure," I replied.
He tapped the end of his pen against my desk before leaving my cubicle, without so much as a thank you. He really is a knob head.
I worked on Gerard's precious price list for a total of ten minutes. It wasn't hard for me to do what he'd wanted, I just didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I could get it done so quickly. Just because he's the top salesman doesn't mean I'm going to drop everything to tend to his needs. I have an entire sales team for which I work. And none of them as of yet have asked me to do something that they could easily get done themselves.
After I finished a report for another salesman, printed and binded it, I walked to his desk to hand it to him. With a courteous thank you from him, I stopped by Gerard's desk and handed him his price list.
"Looks good, Miss Graver," he muttered, taking it from me. Still no thank you. I gritted my teeth.
"You know, I have a first name," I told him.
He glared at me as though I'd slapped him.
"Sorry, I tend to refer to most people by their last names. But if you prefer, I'll call you Veronica."
Once hearing my name fall from his lips, I started to have second thoughts. Instead, I nodded. "Thank you."
As I headed back to my desk, I realised it was almost noon. I smiled to myself at the obvious pleasure I took in anticipating my lunch with Harry. I was quite giddy and even had a little hop in my step. I checked a few quick emails before grabbing my handbag. Just as I turned the corner, I almost collided with Gerard.
"Miss...I mean, Veronica," he said. "I wanted to apologise for earlier. I was rude."
"Oh," I waved my hand, "no worries."
"You did a good job on the price list, and I want to thank you."
My eyes widened at his statement. "Oh. Okay. You're welcome."
"Let me take you to lunch," he added.
"Oh..." I mouthed. "Thanks...but I already have plans."
"Oh." Gerard genuinely looked taken aback. I wondered how many times he'd been turned down before.
Just then I saw Harry out of the corner of my eye walking down the hallway towards me. I smiled at him and waved, turning my attention back to Gerard for only a second.
"Maybe next time," I said sweetly.
I didn't wait for his response as I brushed past him to meet Harry.
"Ready?" I asked him.
"You bet," he replied.
We walked together out to the parking lot where he opened the car door for me. When he walked around to his side and got behind the wheel, he faced me.
"He didn't seem too pleased," remarked Harry.
"Who?"
"Holcomb. I know he doesn't care for me, but his eyes were throwing daggers just now."
I chuckled as I leaned back in my seat. "He'd just asked me to lunch."
"You're joking," said Harry. "And you turned him down to be with me?"
"Who else?"
Harry smirked as he put the car in reverse. "Or maybe it's just for the free food."
"You never said you were paying," I quipped.
I watched Harry's dimple dip deeper as his smile grew wider.
"This is true," he agreed. "But I am anyway."
Harry
I almost wished Roni had seen the look on Gerard's face as she'd waved and then walked up to me. It was quite comical. He looked like someone had just told him to solve a horrendous mathematical equation. He looked from her to me, and back to her again as though he couldn't make sense of it. As I let her walk ahead of me, I took one last gander back at him, his eyes narrowed in disgust. Let him be angry. I'm sure he's wanted to get Roni into bed since her first day, too. Lucky for me, she thinks he's scum.
"So did you get all of your reports completed for Nina?" Roni asked me as we shared an organic pizza.
"Almost," I rolled my eyes. "I have one left I think. But it wouldn't surprise me if there are more on my desk when I get back."
"I don't get it," said Roni. "She's the administrative assistant, isn't she? Isn't that her job?"
I shrugged as I wiped my mouth with a napkin. "Yeah. But I'm sort of her assistant. So she drops it on me when things need correcting."
"Ah," Roni nodded. "Like how I'm Greta's assistant."
"Exactly."
I watched Roni as she chewed her pizza, looking at the wall behind me. Her face said she was pondering something, and when she took a sip of her water, she finally spoke.
"One day..." she said. "One day I will no longer be anyone's assistant."
Her declaration sounded like a line from a movie, but I didn't laugh. I felt a pang in my chest from her words and the look on her face. She seemed so hopeful. It was the purest and most beautiful thing I'd ever witnessed.
"What?" she grinned shyly when she caught me staring.
I merely shook my head. If I told her what I was thinking she'd probably laugh or think it was corny. She looked so pretty sitting across from me, her lipstick half gone from eating, her cheeks rosy from possibly feeling slightly embarrassed about her statement. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to touch her face and brush my mouth against hers.
After I paid for the lunch, we drove back to the office. I pulled into the parking spot, but didn't turn off the engine. I stared straight ahead, not sure what to say, or if I needed to say anything. My palms were sweaty, and I quickly wiped them on my trousers, wishing to God my heart would stop beating as fast as it was. Finally, Roni broke the silence.
"Can I say something?" she asked.
"Of course," I replied, turning my head to face her. Jesus, yes, please say something!
Roni adjusted herself in her seat, leaning on her side, her sexy smile spread across her face.
"I really enjoy being with you," she confessed.
I couldn't stop myself from grinning so wide my cheeks hurt. "Really?"
"Mmm hmm," she nodded. "I know it hasn't been that long, Harry, but I feel like...well...there's something here...between us."
"Me too," I blinked.
Roni did that fucking lip bite thing that drives me crazy.
"Good," she said, putting her hand on my thigh. I watched as she slid it up my leg dangerously before leaning closer. "So are you gonna kiss me now, or what?"
I gave a low chuckle as I reach over and touched her cheek, just like I'd wanted to at the restaurant. When my lips met hers, the same excitement and surge of electricity bolted through me as they had all the other times I'd kissed her. But there was also something else. A sort of unspoken understanding - a tenderness that I hadn't felt before.
As we walked into the building together, I put my arm around her. I wondered if she would flinch or back away, but she didn't. She greeted Greta and thanked me for lunch as she dropped her bag on her desk. Then she turned to me and grabbed my hands, squeezing them.
"Call me later, okay?" she whispered.
I nodded as I squeezed her hands back, then headed toward my cubicle. It wasn't until I sat in my chair that it hit me. Bloody hell! I'm falling for this girl.
MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK
#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fan fiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fic#harry styles series#harry styles x oc#harry styles smut#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles au#harry styles concept#harry styles imagine#harry styles writing#harry styles long fic#harry fanfiction#harry fan fiction#harry fanfic#harry fan fic#harry fic#harry series#harry x oc#harry smut#harry angst#harry fluff#harry au#harry concept#harry imagine#harry writing
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Sincerest greetings, sentient Painting utensil.
If thou had to decide, whom would thou declare as their least appreciated acquaintance from the competition that thou attends, specifically the 2nd and 3rd contest?
(who is your least favourite contestant from season two and three?)
Wow. Okay. Uh, before I answer, just know that I'm on great terms with both of these individuals now. I love them both dearly, and I'm just going off how I felt competing with and having them as teammates.
With that aside...
...Fan wasn't the best at challenges. This is mainly due to the fact that he relied heavily on his theories and patterns (which, admittedly, were correct) and decided at times that we didn't need to try because of that. I also felt kind of.. disrespected by him at times..? And he was the cause of my two first firey outbursts on Inanimate Insanity. But after he was eliminated and we were forced to share a room, and after we both apologized for how we acted towards each other during the show, I realized that he's actually great company. So, despite how infuriating he can be at times, by no means is he someone I dislike!
Aaaand, Silver. Oh boy. Where do I start? I could go on and on about how he betrayed The Thinkers and other things he did for the sake of strategy, but I think what pissed me off the most during Invitational was how... rude he could be at times. He always acted like he was better than everyone else and insulted us for practically no reason!! ...But, uh, at the finale, I realized just how much he had grown from that.. persona that he had in earlier episodes. Silver went through his own stuff, I can tell. We chatted a bit after the finale, and, like with Fan, we put aside our differences. And I have to admit, even during the show, I really did enjoy that guy's company. I don't wanna make it seem like he was bullying me the whole season, because I messed with him at time too! We had some kind of frenemy thing going between us, and honestly? I kinda miss it. But now we're pretty chill with each other. And I don't hate him either.
Welp, that was a lot. I just, uh... hope those two don't find out about this post.
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#paintbrush ii#ii paintbrush#ii fan#fan ii#silver spoon ii#ii silver spoon#silver spoon#painty yapping#misc asks#painty yapping and yapping
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
pet loss cw
I had my first phone call since copper's passing with my parents yesterday and we didn't talk a ton about it — mostly because I don't want to just yet — but they both brought it up as a thing where, like... they still look for him when they enter the house, stuff like that.
it's tough, and sad. in a twisted way I'm almost glad I don't live at home anymore because even though I missed out on a lot of his life ever since I left for college all those years ago, it means my day to day is unchanged after his passing. I didn't see copper every day. it'll be hard to go home that first time and feel his absence, but on the daily, I'm not noticing it. my parents are.
my dad also told an anecdote about the only other dog my family's had — elkie, a norwegian elkhound who was the farm dog on the farm my mom grew up on. when my grandparents sold the farm my parents were newlyweds and agreed to take elkie in. she lived outside her whole life (she liked it that way, trust me, this dog did not like having a roof over her head lol) and made it to EIGHTEEN years. and my dad told me a story about how when he'd taken her to the vet for her final appointment, he'd thought he'd steeled himself enough for it and gotten used to the idea because of how old she was, but it was still hard and impactful for him, and the vet had told him he could leave but he stayed by her side through it.
he didn't tell me any details about copper's visit, but I'm grateful for that, I think. I think he was trying to communicate to me that he did the same for copper and that it impacted him too (even though I do think he was fonder of elkie than he was for copper, haha, copper was a weirdo goofball cat-dog).
anyways, I had some weird grief dreams about copper in the week or so since. one was distressing and i was home, copper was still alive, and my dad told me he was taking copper to be put down and I was trying to bargain for more time, and it wasn't possible for some dream-logic reason.
the second dream I remember is one where copper was taken away for that final appointment, but... he came back? and was fine? and was lively and spry in a way he hasn't been for years? but as the dream went on, something changed, something switched, and that young spry dog wasn't copper anymore. it was a different dog entirely.
anyways, I luckily didn't find those dreams too distressing when I had them — I mostly just found them weird, and I dislike remembering my dreams in any case — and I still feel like I'm doing a pretty good job at metabolizing my grief. I cried a bit typing out this post but it's just... catharsis.
I had a catch-up phone call with my high school best friend today and told her the news, and she gave me her condolences. getting to tell the story again is good, and honestly it's really comforting for me to discuss him with people who met him. she knew copper, all those years ago.
on that same note, my parents told me that our next door neighbors, who we adore and whose kids have always been happily enlisted to dogsit copper when my parents were traveling, all gave their condolences. the two daughters texted me, which was sweet, but even the mother of the family texted my mom, and their eldest son who lives a town over swung by and gave his condolences to my parents personally.
I think I mentioned it in an earlier post, but so many people have reached out upon hearing the news to share just so many lovely things about him, and it was just so impactful. he was "just" a dog but he was so clearly loved 😭 oh, my good boy. my baby dog.
#cried again looking through old photos to find one to post lol#but it's okay. it's all part of the process. I feel okay about it#to quote jes: i'm having a moment of human emotion and this is just part of the human experience#and I really do feel that way#when we put him in this sweater during the colder months we always called him ''sweaterboy'' ❤️#summer copper was sunshine boy and winter copper was sweater boy
16 notes
·
View notes