#and everyone in his chat when they see it are going 'WOAH FURRY'

[ashtonisvibing]

normalcy!chase getting a ferret on impulse cuz he was assigned as a ferret furry is very on brand

og post cancelled, writing in the tags has made me decide chase is now a furry and his fursona is a ferret

he still also gets a ferret but this is more important

[fresh-outta-jams]

Plastic Heart - Part 13

Namjoon x Reader Author: Mo Summary: When you get the highly-anticipated BTS dolls for Christmas, your life takes a turn in a way you never could have expected. Note: You asked for it, here it is! Part 13 <3 There’s a good bit of fluff in here. Part 14, is my favorite so far, so I cannot wait for you to read it, I think you’ll really like it, but I really like this part too <3 Love youuuuuuuu Warnings: None? Word Count: 2k

Prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Once you and Namjoon picked out snacks (popcorn and M&Ms, of course) and drinks, you sat down together in the theater. Namjoon’s curious hand hovered over the bucket filled with golden goodness and you watched expectantly as he took a handful and popped it into his mouth.

“Well?”

“It’s good. Like. Really good. Holy shit, I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this.” He grabbed another eager handful, a few stray pieces falling from his hand and landing on his sweatshirt. You giggled. God, he was so cute. “Can I try some M&Ms?”

“Of course.” You tipped the bag into his hand, leaving him a little pile of the chocolate candies before eating a few of them yourself.

“These are good too, oh my God…” He hummed, and then wiped his salty, buttery hands on a napkin.

“You’re gonna do this every time I introduce you to new foods, aren’t you?” You teased, laughing as you ruffled through his soft hair. He laughed too, grinning shyly and trying to hide behind his large hands.

“I’m just excited, I’m sorry--”

“It’s cute, Joon. It’s really fucking cute, don’t apologize.”

“You think I’m cute?” He blushed, heart lurching.

“The cutest.” You smiled, reaching up to pinch one of his adorable dimples.

“(Y/N)?” You looked up at the sound of someone calling your name. It was Ella, one of your BTS-obsessed friends. Fuck. You’d been able to squirm away from the cashier at Hot Topic, but Ella...Ella was smarter than that. She’d catch on that something was up. You weren’t sure how you were going to get out of this one…

“Ella! Hey!”

“How are you?” She walked up to where you and Namjoon were situated, right behind the railing at the front of the top section of seats.

“Doing great, you?”

“Oh you know, same old. I’m down there with some of my friends from my dance class.” Her eyes trailed to Namjoon and a mix of emotions fell across her features. Disbelief and confusion being among them. “And this is…?”

“Um, this is my, uh, friend...um, Joon...sung. Joonsung.”

“Right. I’m Joonsung.” Namjoon offered his hand, following your lead.

“Nice to meet you...Joonsung. Has uh, anyone ever told you you look like--”

“Namjoon? Yeah, I get that a lot. My parents moved here from Korea in the 80’s, so we might be distant cousins or something.”

“Oh. That’s really neat.” Ella seemed dumbstruck. You looked up at Namjoon, impressed. He was as quick-witted as his namesake, and in this moment, you were thankful for it. “Well, it was nice to meet you. We’ve gotta meet up sometime, (Y/N). You wanna have a study night this week? Hunker down at the library and get some work done?”

“Yeah, sounds great! We can ask the group chat after the movie.”

“Yep! See you later.” Ella walked down to the front section of the theater, where her friends were waiting for her. You sat back down, exhaling a relieved sigh. A close call, to say the least.

“You just saved our asses.” You laughed. “God, that was close…”

“We’ve had a few of those today, huh?” Namjoon chuckled and shook his head. “I didn’t think borrowing someone’s face would be so difficult.”

“It’s your face, too.” You pouted, looking at him. You knew it had to be tough, to be...well, modeled after someone else. Even moreso now that he was walking around in public and...human. But it was still hard for you to watch him feel bad about it. “It’s your face as much as it is his.”

“Well, it’s not, though.” He shrugged and stared at the cupholder between the two of you. “It was his face first. Years before it was ever mine.”

“You know, I read once that everyone in the world has like seven dopplegangers out there and they don’t even know it. As far as anyone knows, you’re just...one of RM’s. Hell, there are like seven people out there that look just like ME and it’s not like they ‘stole’ my face, right?”

He thought about it for a few moments, a smile slowly conquering his features. Namjoon nodded. “Thank you. You make me feel...so real. Like...like this is something I was always meant to have.”

You met his eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Who’s to say you weren’t?”

Namjoon didn’t know how to reply to that, so instead, he only smiled. The lights dimmed shortly after that, and the movie started twenty minutes later. Maybe Namjoon was mistaken, but your hand just seemed to be sort of...resting on the armrest over the cupholder. Hmm. He wondered why.

And so he wondered for a few more minutes until it occurred to him that maybe...this was a Thing that girls did when they wanted their hand held? Were you sending him some secret message that you WANTED him to hold your hand? His heart raced, palms suddenly feeling sweaty. He subtly dried them on the surface of his new jeans and swallowed thickly. Jeez, no one ever told him navigating a human crush would be so difficult.

Well, actually, Yoongi had.

So, he spent the next few minutes building courage. How was he supposed to KNOW you wanted to hold hands with him? He didn’t know much about humans. Maybe this was just what human people did, resting their hands right over the cupholder between them and the person they were out alone with. When you’d held hands in the mall before, it was different. It was FUNCTIONAL. It was so he didn’t get lost in the crowd. Holding hands with you here, in this dark theater where there was no chance of him getting lost...it was different.

And yet, despite all of that, he still found his hand tentatively hovering over yours, his heart racing faster than it ever had before. His warmth met yours, and you melted against his touch, fingers welcoming his and giving his large hand a reassuring squeeze.

He looked over to find you smiling bashfully, and he knew he’d made the right move. Maybe this human thing wasn’t so hard after all.

You held hands with him the whole movie. Namjoon couldn’t believe this was happening. He was actually HOLDING HANDS with YOU! You’d been a giant compared to him only the day before, and now, he was not only human-sized, but he was TALLER THAN YOU by a margin large enough to warrant him bending forward to kiss you.

Woah, Namjoon, knock that off. He stopped his thoughts before they could wander any further. Holding your hand and kissing you were two very different things. And yet, it was all he wanted to do now, all he could think about. He’d overcome many hurdles today, and yet, he was scolding himself for wanting just one more. Would it be too much to ask? Just one kiss? He’d never kissed someone before, and after all, you wanted him to have as many human experiences as possible, didn’t you?

He tried to pay attention to the movie, he really did, but all he could think about was you. And so, before he knew it, the credits were rolling and the lights went up. You turned to look at him.

“Did you like it?”

“I did!” And it wasn’t technically a lie. He loved this movie because it was the reason he was sitting there with you, his large hand wrapped around yours. “What time is it?”

“It’s like...five o’clock. Jeez, we better get home to the guys. I’ll make us some dinner when we get there, alright?”

“Sounds good.” He nodded. As fun as his day out with you had been, you were right. You shouldn’t leave the boys home for this long. Plus, there was a new little friend in the shopping bag hanging from your arm rest, and he knew how much it sucked to be stuck in a box for an extended period of time. There had been a time when he didn’t know anything BUT his little plastic box. And now, he was out in the real world. It was wild how fast his life had turned around. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

***

When you got home, you handed Koya to Namjoon to get him out of his little plastic prison while you started boiling water for the noodles of the pasta you were going to make.

“You’re back!” Jimin greeted excitedly. He was managing the right side of your Playstation controller while Jungkook was manning the left as they fought yet another digital dragon.

“Did you have fun?” Yoongi smirked from his spot on the couch. He’d woken up from a wonderful nap not too long ago, but at the moment, he and Jin were on your laptop, doing research. They weren’t exactly sure how their friend had made the transition from plastic to person, but they’d like to do the same if the universe would allow it.

“Lots of fun, thank you very much.” Namjoon chuckled. He peeled the plastic off of the box and then lifted the clear plastic cover. For a little while, Koya sat there motionless, and Namjoon panicked. “It’s alright, little guy. You don’t have to pretend anymore. We’re not going to hurt you.”

“Like he’s going to believe that coming from a human.” Yoongi shook his head and left the laptop to walk over to where Namjoon was sitting on the other couch. He used his large human hands to lift Koya out of the rectangular black box and set him on the table instead. “Let me try.”

It shouldn’t have stung when Yoongi said it because he was right, and Namjoon had always wanted to be human...but...there was something hurtful about his own kind being afraid of him. So afraid of him that they wouldn’t move even when he told them it was alright.

“It’s alright, Koya. You don’t have to worry about scaring him off. He already knows. Until this morning, he was a doll like me.” Yoongi told the little Koala, petting the top of his furry blue head.

Slowly, he looked around, blinking. He looked up at Namjoon with big, innocent eyes. This man looked just like his dad. JUST like him. So, not resisting the urge anymore, Koya ran into his dad’s arms, nuzzling against his warm chest. Namjoon swore his heart about exploded, and he embraced the little blue koala carefully. There was some sense of paternal pride welling inside of him. Was this what it felt like to hold your child?

“We’re gonna take care of you, alright? I promise.” He murmured, cradling Koya as he walked to the kitchen, where you were talking to Hoseok and Tae. You’d put your hair up and were standing at the stove next to a pot of boiling water. You put the noodles in and stirred it a few times before letting it sit for a while.

When you turned around, Namjoon was standing there, holding the cuddly little koala, and your heart melted.

“Koya, meet (Y/N). She’s gonna be your mom.” He said, softly bouncing your new bundle of joy.

“And what does that make you?” Hoseok chuckled.

“Well, I’m his dad, obviously.” It took Namjoon a moment to realize what he was insinuating, but when he finally did, his cheeks flushed red. “Well, um, I mean, if you want to--”

“You think too much.” You teased, poking Namjoon’s nose. “I mean, we’re human, so...kind of going to be the parents around here for the time being.”

“Yeah...O-of course.”

“I see your humanity hasn’t made you any less awkward.” Tae laughed. “Still our clumsy Namjoon.”

“You can take the doll out of the clumsy, but you can’t take the clumsy out of the doll.” Hoseok agreed.

“Oh hush.” You walked up to Namjoon, who still had Koya cuddled against his chest, and gently pet his little head. He snuggled against your hand. “Welcome home, Koya. I hope you like it here.”

He nodded wordlessly, reaching his stubby little arms for you, so Namjoon let you hold him for a few minutes while the noodles boiled.

“Need any help around here?”

“Could you just set the table? A napkin and a fork for each of us.”

“You got it.” He walked over to the silverware drawer and pulled out two forks, laying a napkin under each one.

“Thank you, Joonie.” You smiled and handed Koya back to him so you could handle the noodles.

Namjoon sighed softly, watching you cook dinner, your new little blue friend in his arms, and he finally knew what it meant to go weak in the knees. You were his girl. You always had been, but now...he didn’t know how to ask you to be more...

Tagged: @iie-wakarimasen, @lilgaga98, @catbugsugarpea, @demonic-meatball, @backtonormalthings, @kbowen9, @honig-bienchen, @coolcat494, @ffantasylandd, @feed-my-geek-soul, @ayoo-bangtan, @xxqueenwxtchxx, @cap-lu20, @finninpoposu, @coldbookworm, @sitkafay, @daniawinchesters21, @okaysoplshelpme, @zamirayinyue13

[docgorpywrites]

Going My Way?

Nix stood in front of the biggest mirror in the house he could find. It so happened, this one was in the large foyer of his childhood home. His face scrunched up as he tried to tackle one of the hardest feats he ever had to face in his life, and that was tying up his God-damned bowtie. He fumbled with the silky piece of fabric, frustrated, giving up and starting again ceaselessly. Finally, he pulled the tie out from under his collar and let it fall onto the rich marble tabletop in front of him. He gripped the cool edge of it nervously and stared into his reflection with a furrowed brow. A blurry image of a man coming in from behind him slowly became focused in the mirror.

"Awww, what's got those big furry caterpillars all stitched up?" An engraved silver flask was pressed to Nix's arm in offering.

"Harry," he greeted gruffly and regarded the flask with a nod, "Making good use of my wedding present there, huh?" He accepted it and took the quickest, tiniest swig to calm his nerves. Not too much, he was trying to avoid liquor, especially that day. "Thanks. I don't suppose you know how to tie one of these little bastards?" He waved the slightly wrinkled bowtie in front of Harry's face as he handed the flask back.

"Oh, you're kidding, right?" Harry set the flask down on the table and took the dangling cloth. "You're telling me that a well-to-do Yale boy such as yourself doesn't even know how to square up a bowtie?"

"I did once upon a time, but there weren't much fancy dress parties in the war to keep me in practice. You should know." He craned his neck up to make way for Harry's skilled hands, which were done with their task in a matter of seconds.

"Voilà." Harry let go of the newly knotted bow and extended his hands towards it with his fingers splayed out. "Now, for my next trick, I'm gonna get those wrinkles in your brow ironed out. What's botherin' you, buddy? Cold feet?"

"No, 'course not." Nix reached for the flask on the table without thinking and grasped it in his hand tightly before he remembered himself and returned it to its rightful owner. Harry noticed his hesitation and planted his arm across Nix's shoulders.

"Aw, c'mon Nix, you survived the war, you can survive this." Harry chuckled good-naturedly.

"That's true, but what if I choke, or he doesn't like what I've got to say?" They walked in the direction of the garden, a vision of white sheets and yellow flowers and green dress uniforms. The whole company was there, and getting very drunk. Nix waved apprehensively towards a pink-faced Buck Compton, and he thought that maybe rolling out the drinks before the whole thing even started wasn't such a good idea after all. "I only wrote them yesterday, y'know," he confided.

"You only wrote your vows yesterday?" Harry was incredulous. "Damn, am I thrilled to hear this."

"Gee, thanks for the support there. You're a real good friend."

"I'm kidding. If it helps any, I got my ma's help with mine. Kitty loved it."

"My mother is a cold-hearted bitch, so it's a dead end there."

"Hey, your mom ain't that bad."

"You know she is. Her idea of love was sending me off to war with a crate of Vat 69. She basically enabled my drinking problem."

Harry relented, "Whatever you say, bud."

"Well, she did organize this whole thing." Nix turned back towards the house, "Which reminds me, I have to go over some details with the chef. Watch the kids, will you? Try to keep them from breaking shit."

"Yes, dear." Harry walked towards the men and bellowed, "Easy Company! What are we drinkin'?"

Nix was still within earshot and shook his head with a slight curling of the lip. He made his way up a beautiful staircase, a large arched window right at the top was letting the afternoon light in wonderfully. Before he could turn the corner, Dick was there. He had a small notebook in his hands and was scribbling away. He noticed Nix and tucked the book in his coat pocket securely.

Nix got a look that he was well accustomed to, it was a look that Dick had given him time and time again. A look that meant, 'How are you holding up?', 'You look wonderful,' 'I love you,' and many other things all at the same time.

"Hey stranger, whatcha doin' tonight?" Dick said without flinching, a growing smirk on his lips. "Feel like spending it with a guy like me?"

Nix chuckled and played along, "Depends, will there be booze?"

"Oh, enough to drown in Nazis in." Dick crossed the floor towards him, where Nix stood in the light of the large window. He gathered Nix up in his arms and chuckled when he heard a loud screeching laugh from the garden. "Though I think those drunk paratroopers outside have already depleted the supply significantly." His face became more serious as he asked, "You nervous?"

Nix tilted his head briefly, "A little." He eyed the notebook in Dick's coat pocket, "Whatcha writing there?"

"Oh, nothing," Dick answered dismissively. "Hey, what say we get away from all this formality and just elope right now?" He joked hastily, pulling Nix in closer.

"Woah there, Major Winters, you're on a rebellious streak today? My mother's gonna hate you for even suggesting that."

"We all know your mother secretly loves me more than you."

"That's because you're all tall and unwavering like my father." Nix laughed and pushed him away playfully, "Hey, get outta here, huh? Don't you know its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?"

"Who made you the bride?"

"You don't have the body for it." Nix grinned, eyeing him up and down. "You're too rigid to be a bride."

"Alright," Dick chuckled and raised his hands up in defeat, then started to walk away backwards. "But don't forget to meet me in the garden at eighteen hundred hours," he said before turning around, tapping his watch.

Nix's chat with the chef was brief, when he walked in to talk about the cake and how important it was that the chocolate tasted just right — "Those bastards love their chocolate." — his mother came crashing in, telling him to get his ass downstairs and get his hair fixed. He had no idea what she was talking about, his hair was always perfect. But his mother always had a way of seeing imperfections in everything she laid her eyes on. He obliged nonetheless, and before he knew it, it was finally time.

They had decided to walk down the aisle together, and when Nix got back to the foyer, he spotted Dick in the doorway waiting for him, reading from his little notebook.

"Going my way?" He said softly into Dick's ear.

Dick turned around and offered his arm with a boyish smile, "Always."

The music picked up, and they walked arm-in-arm towards the altar. The men of Easy company were all lined up at the sides of the aisle, watching them with weepy eyes and proud smiles. Before they reached the altar, Dick confessed, "I have to tell you, I only wrote my vows yesterday. You caught me this afternoon making changes."

Nix laughed out loud and clapped a hand over his mouth when everyone's gaze suddenly became directed at him. "You're kidding." Nix looked up at him with an amused grin, "Me too."

[gordonfang1]

Furries, toothpaste, McDonalds and a Revelation

My favorite moment in VR Chat.

I am a cactus boy. I am green, have red shorts, and am tall and prickly. I have a small cartoon face. It's simple: two dots and a small smile.

circlesgandan Knuckles walks in small running around fast. The voice sounds like an 8-year old kid. He can barely talk, having just learned how words work. He asks me my favorite color, and I tell him it's green. We go around like maniacs just talking to random people.

It's fun. I talk to two British people about Dark Souls, investing, passive income, and Dead Space. Some guys are beatboxing in the other part of the room. Some people draw phallic symbols everywhere in the air.

Ugandan Knuckles lets me know that toothpaste tastes good since he just ate some. We get bored and he tells me, "Hey, let's go to another world. It will be fun."

We jump into a portal and I don't know what's going to happen.

Hey woah, it's McDonalds in the VR world. Golden arches, cash registers, people in the back frying fries.

Then I couldn't find him for another 30 minutes.

I try to figure out how to play. I go to the fryer. Nothing works, so I stand at the register. The line of people is no longer a line and everyone is yelling orders at me. Someone wants to see my manager. People are jumping over the counter and running all over the place. It's getting to be too much and I go to the bathroom and my buddy is there.

I ask Ugandan KNuckes what the game was and how to play it, and he replies.

That is the game in the nicest kid's voice I hear.

My mind was blown. This is real life. This is happening all at once. I'm the kid. He's me at different points in life. like Sponge Bob and Squidward.

I told him wow, this was pretty eye opening and he was just happy and nothing bothered him. Even regular bad fast food didn't bother him. It was a game.

We then met this cool guy who also liked chicken nuggets and was a genuinely nice customer, so all three of us went back to the bar to chat and hang out.

Later, at one point, he says, "Hey, this is pretty boring. Would you like to go to another world?"

Sure, so me and the toothpaste eating kid say let's go hang out with this cool guy and jump into the portal.

The world loads and there are two strange people in front of us. I started to go left and right and I was very disoriented and confused. These weren't two other people, my avatar changed.

This is a mirror I am no longer a cactus boy, and the person next to me is not Ugandan knuckles.

The guy from the bar is a furry creator with the most insane anime jiggle physics I've seen. I am jumping and walking, and it is comically huge in my figure and proportions.

The Mirror: Please Donate Money, I Am Poor and Make Content and a Link to His Patreon

The tooth paste kid is SCREAMING, madly confused and even crying. I could not stop laughing at how scared and confused he was.

We both disconnected since I didnt know how to leave the world. When I log back in, I join my Ugandan knuckle friend at the bar server.

We talked about what happened, and he was genuinely confused. I tried to explain as best I could what happened and comfort the kid.

I hear grunting and screaming and what sounds like someone being hit.

The avatar stops moving, and I wait a bit, and it disconnects. I never hear from this kid again.

I am genuinely worried about what happened to the kid.

Was this a prank on me? Am I being cyber stalked to make funny clips? That was a very weird day, and I truly hope this kid is OK. If you're the kid reading this, you were a really cool friend, and I hope you're doing OK.

[acarolingfae-blog]

Hana

“So, why are you here?”

What do you mean?

“I mean, like... what are you doing here?”

Well I'm kinda here doing a favor for your subconscious.

“So, you're not my subconscious?”

Nah, I just work for him. He’s a cool guy though. I kinda exist on a necessitation basis.

“Which means?”

Okay, so... I exist because there's an objective requirement for the duties I perform. It's part of the Universal Creation Imperative.

“Are you just making up phrases to mess with me?”

Nah, man. It's the cornerstone of the doctrine of rules that facilitate and protect the fate of everything that you know to exist.

“This is bullshit, man. You're like a hallucination or a demon or something I gotta get you out of my head.”

Wait man just hear me out. If you listen to everything I have to say and still never want to see me again I'll go away forever.

“...How do I know you will?”

Hey man, it doesn't really matter does it? It's basically no extra work, and if I was gonna stick around I would do it anyway, right?

“...Alright fine. Go ahead.”

Thank you. Alright. First off, since I'm a product of YOUR subconscious I don't know anything that you don't already know on some level, or can't deduce based off what you already know. This is a really important thing to establish, though it might not be relevant right now; we'll see. Second, whether or not you can sense me doesn't matter. I'll be a part of your mind until you die and I have been since you were old enough to think in more than just vague concepts. At the end of my spiel and your questions you will have the choice between keeping me in your life or forgetting about this whole conversation and never seeing me again. If you choose to forget me, I'll just recede back into your subconscious and do stuff there. Either way, I'll be guiding you toward your predetermined fate. It's just that if you DO see me, I'll be less subtle about things so you get to see all the cool shit I can do. Plus, I'm already calibrated in a way that fits your specific personality, so we're guaranteed to get along famously. Anyway, do you have any questions?

“Uh... yeah... so if you're ‘guiding me to my fate,’ what is my fate exactly?”

Well eventually you'll die.

“Yeah I kinda figured. But what about before that?”

I dunno *shrug*

“What?”

Dude, I already told you I don't know anything you don't know. And you definitely don't know the future.

“So how do you know what you're doing is right?”

Because I'm doing it.

“What?! That doesn't--”

Look man, I exist by “necessitation.” I was created with pre-calculated values to match my personality with yours, with that fate in mind. I am what's needed; whatever I do needs to be done; whatever I say needs to be said. It's the same thing with you: you will never think anything that hasn't already been mapped out, and every one of your thoughts exists for a reason, though you might not know what it is at the time.

“Hmm... fair enough. But don't you ever doubt yourself?”

Nope. YOU feel doubt because it's a good safety mechanism. Otherwise, if you do everything you want you when you want to do it, you will kill us all in a spectacular fashion. I, on the other hand, don't need to reconsider my decisions, because I'm not a real person like you are. It’s a bit redundant on me.

“Riiight... so, what do I call you?”

Ooh, this'll be fun. I'm a product of your subconscious so whatever name you assigned to me without realizing when you first saw me is the name I go by.

“So how do I know what that is?”

Why don't you think hard for a sec, and on the count of three I'll say my name while you say what you think it is. 

“Okay...”

Ready? 1... 2... 3!

*Both* “Hana!”

“Woah...”

Pretty cool, huh?

“Totally. So, does everyone have one of you?”

Pretty much, yeah. There might be a few people out there that don't, I dunno. Not a lot of people can see theirs--in fact, you haven't met a person who can--but everyone you've met has one.

“How do you know? Can you see others?”

Yeah, man. Every time you consciously exchange ideas with a person, whether by talking, texting, or whatever, me and their guide also have a little chat. Your subconscious is used every time you make a conscious action, so whatever you do I know about it too.

“So you're like a ‘guide.’”

If you wanna think of it that way, sure.

“You just called yourself a ‘guide!’”

Then apparently you must think of me that way.

“But...I...whatever. Then how would you think of it?”

Well I'd like to be known as a trailblazer, seer, warrior-philosopher type, but really I'm more like a close friend that only you can see.

“An imaginary friend?”

Sure, but that's a little degrading innit?

“Sorry, but this whole thing is still a little overwhelming.”

That's okay. Hey, remember that book with the fighting bears? You really like the series, with the alien creatures that evolved to use tree seeds as wheels to roll around on.

“Yeah the... uh...” *snap* “His Dark Materials series!”

Yep. Remember in that one universe, where everybody has a daemon that represents their soul?

“Oh right! Are you-”

Kinda, but it's a little different from that. I can't quite remember it ‘cause you haven't read it in a while, but it's not like I'm your soul, or I can die or anything.

“You're immortal?”

No because I'm not technically alive. I'm tied to you, but not the 'you' you think of. I mean the whole 'you,' including your subconscious and everything else that ticks in your mind. And body.

“I'm not sure I follow.”

Look man, you might think that everything you are aware of is everything that you are, but you're dead wrong. You may not realize it, but YOU also exist out of necessitation. Your conscious mind is a creation of your brain to help you arrange executive orders and make macroscopic decisions. The other parts of your mind deal with the mundane details like growing hair or redirecting sodium so you can focus on whether or not those jeans make your butt look big enough. Which they don’t, by the way. 

“Yeah, that's not my issue. How are you not technically alive?”

Well, living as you know it is a highly independent experience. Something that is alive supports itself physically and biologically, recycling resources and energy to keep on keeping on, ya know. You aren't alive either, your body is.

“Fine, but my decisions have a tangible effect on the physical world.”

And mine don't? Up until now you've been sending vibrations out into the air just because I decided to show myself to you.

“Isn't that more of an effect by proxy?”

Yes, but how are you any different?

“Well, I can choose when to act, and you must choose when to make me act.”

YOU are not acting. "YOU" *circling motion* are. The machine that is your human body is what’s doing stuff. If we could isolate the neuronal connections that facilitate YOUR existence and keep them in a jar, none of your decisions would mean squat. Effectively, you wouldn't be making any choices because there's no difference in tangible outcome.

“Okay, but telling a machine to move and telling a person to move a machine are pretty different.”

You don't think I have control over your body too? You know how many times I saved your clumsy ass from falling off a bunk bed?

“I've never--”

Yeah, because of me you donut. You're welcome

“Thank you?”

Yeah, whatever. Do you have any other questions?

“Um, yeah. Sure... why, umm... why are you... whatever it is you are?”

Hey man that's pretty rude, not gonna lie. I think you look pretty weird too but I don't spout off about it all the f-

“Sorry! Sorry. It's just... I've never seen one of you before.”

It's alright. I am whatever my calibrations make me.

“So you're some kind of... furry dishwasher?”

Well I don't wash dishes, but I do like the cubular shape, sooo...

“So for the rest of my life, I'll have to look at an imaginary fuzzy cube that talks to me?”

Not necessarily. I'm a representative of your subconscious, so I will gradually change as you do. And, if you ever get into any major life-changes, I'll probably look pretty different at the end of it.

“Oh thank god.”

Yeah nice to meet you too, fruitcake.

[ooc-x-reader]

Bii Boh Bi

“Y/N, hurry up! We have to go now or we’re gonna miss the show!!!”

Your little sister continues yelling from the bottom of the stairs while you try your hardest to tune her out—after all, this mustache isn’t going to wax itself.

Ever since the concert was announced, you knew you had to get tickets. After all, you are Bii Boh Bi’s Number One FanTM—it wouldn’t do to miss one of his biggest events. Besides, you even managed to score front row seats AND backstage passes to meet your idol after the show. Sure, that meant your sister would be coming too, but that wasn’t a big deal. She always cheered alongside you and was content being the Number Three FanTM.

You still aren’t sure who the Number Two FanTM is. Although they are very famous online, they never give out any personal information, so they have remained anonymous.

When you finish your musings, you look in the mirror to make sure you are presentable for the concert.

Your wavy H/C hair shines under the light and there isn’t a stray hair in sight. Your mustache is groomed to perfection as well, adding at least 40% to your classiness. You even put on some makeup to make your E/C eyes pop and to make sure your navy blue skin doesn’t cause you to fade into the background, as it is wont to do. The only question remaining is which scarf to wear.

You search through your closet until you find the perfect one. It is a translucent F/C and has some nice E/C stripes. Even better, it matches your outfit!

“Are you done yet!?” your sister calls again, but you cut her off by arriving at the bottom of the staircase. “Oh good. Let’s go!”

You follow her out towards the ship. She chose a slightly less formal outfit, opting to wear a simple but stylish pink dress that provides a nice contrast against her turquoise skin. You’ve always been a bit jealous of the fact that she stood out in her appearance, but you suppose the universe must balance everything out somehow. Besides, at her age, you already had a proper mustache growing, whereas she only has a few random hairs—all of which are different colors.

As soon as you are seated in the ship, you close your upper eyes. Space travel always makes you sick when you try to watch with all four eyes. Two should be fine though.

You chat excitedly with your sister about what you hope will be included in the show and what special guests might be there. There are rumors that a paladin of Voltron is in the area and might show up. Now that the war is over, there won’t be any chance of an attack ruining the show, so it will be perfectly safe even if all of Voltron is there.

Before you know it, you arrive at the stadium. As early as you are, there is still a huge crowd, bustling to get in to their seats. You and your sister do your best to not get separated or trampled by everyone else there. It feels like it takes DECAPHEBES, but you finally get to your seats.

“I’m so excited!” you tell your sister over the cheers of the crowd.

These shows always draw a large audience, but this one in particular has over ten times as many beings as usual. You are even more grateful for your after-show backstage pass—trying to head home alongside everyone else would surely be a nightmare.

The stage lights turn on and a hush falls over the crowd. You lean forward in your seat and watch intently as Bii Boh Bi himself walks out onto the stage. The cheers around you are deafening and as Bii Boh Bi steps up to the mic, he meets your eyes and winks.

Your entire body flushes from the attention and you can only stare in wonder as the show begins.

——————

The lights dim until the spotlight focuses on Bii Boh Bi. The band starts playing and you listen as he begins to sweetly sing.

“Bi, bobo bibii! Boh bibiibi bi bobii, bohbi bii biibii bo bi bohbii bi, bii-bi bibobii boh bii.” His voice practically lulls you into a trance and you are thoroughly enraptured by the entire performance. As it draws to an end the entire audience rises in a cheering, standing ovation. Bii Boh Bi smiles and thanks everyone before heading backstage.

——————

After the show is over, you and your sister push your way through the crowd to reach the stage. You make it just in time to see a masked individual escorting a familiar noodle-like figure away from the backstage room. Oh no! Someone is trying to kidnap Bii Boh Bi! You chase after the two of them, hoping against all hope to overtake the kidnapper. The masked individual is just about to make their escape when to your delight, they trip over a fallen fencepost. The kidnapper tumbles to the ground, releasing the idol in an attempt to prevent injury. This is your chance! Taking advantage of their dazed state, you clear the fencepost and successfully pin them to the ground. While it’s enough to hold them for now, you know you can’t trap the kidnapper forever. “Help!” You cry out. “Security! Someone!” Sweat drips down your face as you wait. Catching your breath from the earlier chase, you glance around and ascertain the safety of Bii Boh Bi. When you look up, the security officers have finally arrived. You let out a breath you didn’t know were holding. “This is 624 to Control.” One of the officers speaks into her radio. “The instigator has been apprehended and our VIP is safe.”

You are able to get up once the kidnapper has been handcuffed just in time to see your sister arrive at the scene. “Woah! What happened?” she asks, looking around.

“I sure would like to find out myself.”

You turn to watch an officer unmask the kidnapper. As the mask is removed, light pink skin shows through and you hear a very familiar voice yelling.

“He’s mine, dang it!!! I deserve to be the Number One FanTM!!!” Oh.

OH!

You didn’t expect the Number Two FanTM to be so… old.

He is surprisingly tall for a Roaken man, even at that age, but the three antennae on his head are a dead giveaway.

“How could a fan do such a thing!? That’s awful!” your sister exclaims, clinging to your arm. You shake your head. It’s beyond you. A squat officer covered in green fur grabs your shoulder. “Come on,” rasps a high-pitched voice. “You two need to go on home now. Thanks for your help.”

“So much for those backstage passes…” your sister mumbles.

As the officer begins to escort you out, ze is stopped by a superior who whispers something near where you assume zer ear must be. “Really? I think that is a bad idea, but if he is insisting…” The furry officer releases you. “Mister Bii Boh Bi says he would like to speak with you.”

Your eyes widen as he comes over to you.

“Biibi bohboh bi, bii biboh bii. Bobohbii bo bibii bo biibobiibi bibo biibibi boh bi biibibo! Bii boh bobibii, boh biibii bo bii!” Your face flushes a bright green that rivals your sister’s complexion. “A-are you sure!? I really didn’t do enough to deserve a private show! Really, it’s fine!” “Boh! Biibo bohbibo bo biboh bohbobii biibiboh bii!”

Your sister’s shocked face is the last thing you see when a small pair of lips press against your cheek.

��—————

You wake up in your bed back home, the TV is on and the door is open. “Oh good, you’re awake.” Your mother smiles. “You made quite the headline last night!”

The newscaster is halfway through the story, but you can only process four words: “hero”, “Bii Boh Bi”, “Y/N”, and “dating.”

——————

“Dear, Y/N fainted again!”

[lilacmuffins]

In honor of me being terrified of loud noises--

Th un d er!!! Yay. Anyways, I wrote this thing with my BNHA self-insert OC because thunder used to scare me really badly, and it still scares me now if it’s loud enough. Basically, sorta Dad Might and Izuku x OC. No one actually has to read this because like, you don’t. But if you do... thanks? Doesn’t make sense without context so:

> Izuku’s childhood friend because like. Plot.

> This takes place at some point in early S3

> Angel refuses to let people call her by her last name, since her parents are American and she’s always been called by her first name anyways.     - She also calls other people by their first names (unless they get mad the first time she does it) and by nicknames if she knows them really well.

> Her parents are still in America, but they video chat every so often. They also aren’t the greatest parents.     - Lives with Inko and Izuku and has lived with them since she was 2. Still acts more American for whatever reason. Everyone is confused by it, no one questions it because they’re just used to it by now.

> Is also afraid of the dark.

Also I can’t write in character for anyone. (None of this makes sense in context either, I’m just now realizing. Oops.)

I held Spaz to my chest, trying not to crush her as I pulled my knees to my chest. I was shaking. There was another loud crack of thunder and I squeaked. The lights had gone out around an hour ago, and most of the other students were gathered in the common room. But I could barely even move. I let Spaz down to hide under my desk and hugged my knees, starting to cry quietly to myself. Another bright flash lit up my room and I swear I saw the silhouette of a person creeping by my lightswitch. I tried to make myself look smaller, in fear of being seen. The rain hitting the window would have comforted me in any other situation. It was silent for a moment and I relaxed. I shouldn’t have. The loudest thunderclap I had ever heard rang out, seemingly shaking the ground. I screamed involuntarily, probably alarming anyone who was still on floor two. I pulled my knees even closer to my chest. My heart was beating so loudly in my own ears that I thought other people would hear it. Moments passed, feeling like hours. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on my door before it was kicked open. The flashlight of a phone shined in my eyes.

“Young Angel, I heard you scream!”  A familiar voice yelled, sounding concerned.

“A-All Might?” I choked out, shielding my eyes with my arm. I didn’t even call him All Might anymore, but it just slipped from my mouth. I was so relieved that Toshinori was here. “All Might!” I let my arms relax and I took a deep breath. He joined me by my side.

“Are you alright?”

“I-I’m… thunder. Loud noises, not good.” I gave up on actually trying to speak full sentences quickly. Another loud crack of thunder. I tried to stop myself from crying again, but tears started to slip down my cheeks. I felt Toshinori wrap his arms around me and it almost made me cry more. My real parents would never. They were in America, making money to spend on… not me.

“Let’s get you down to the rest of the group. Young Midoriya was wondering where you were.” Toshinori helped me up. 

“Spaz.” I reminded him, gesturing to the furry shadow in the corner of my room. She had calmed down a bit. I dragged my shaking body over to her spot in the corner and picked her up, letting her dig her claws into my shoulder for support. It hurt, but at this point I could care less. I followed Toshinori down to the common room, where candles were lit. A few phones were placed face up on the table with the flashlights on. The first person to notice me was Ochaco. She ran over to me (earning a whisper-yell from Tenya) and gave me a hug, scaring Spaz so much that she pulled herself up onto my shoulder fully and stretched across my back. Her front paws were on one shoulder, back paws on the other. Ochaco mumbled an apology, but I hugged her back.

“Hi.” I could see a worried Izuku in the corner of the room, pacing back and forth with his phone held to his ear. He was mumbling something to himself.

“Shut up, Deku!” Katsuki yelled, pounding his fist on the table. I let go of Ochaco and gestured towards Izuku. She nodded, giving me a smile.

“I’m worried about her, Kacchan! She isn’t answering her phone and as a kid she was always afraid of thunderstorms. You know that!” I walked over to Izuku while he wasn’t facing me and tapped his shoulder. He turned around, green electricity starting to buzz around him.

“Woah, hey.” I felt Spaz wobble on my shoulders. Izuku calmed down. He grinned, pulling me into a hug. Spaz jumped off of my shoulders, running off to go do who knows what.

“I was worried! All Might wouldn’t let us go find you because we aren’t allowed up in the dorms since the power’s out and…” I cut him off by giving him a quick kiss.

“Get a room, losers!” Katsuki called out from behind me.

“Want me to book one for you and Eijiro too, Katsuki?” I snickered when I looked back and I could see Katsuki’s face practically glowing red in the semi-darkness.

“Is everyone okay? I mean, I know it’s just a storm, but…” I trailed off. Suddenly, there was another boom above our heads. I whimpered, taking a step closer to Izuku for comfort. He took my hand and I sighed. This is stupid. Toshinori made his way over to us.

“Everyone is just fine.” The man ruffled my hair. He looked at Izuku. “She was curled up in her room, scared half to death. After the loudest thunderclap she screamed. I’m glad I was looking for extra students on your floor when she did.”

“He shined a light in my face.” I huffed. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay.”