#and every lady in the party has their story tied to a romantic relationship in some waytoo. l'man. at least melia got her moment in fc

[deus-and-the-machina]

xenoblade 1 is interesting because when I first played it I had really mixed feelings. mostly I think because it had been slightly overhyped for me. there were so many videos with masterpiece in the description and people saying it was their favorite.

there was a lot that first turned me off during the story (namely the way it handled its female characters made me frustrated at multiple points) and also how they handled the revenge arc because I have very very specific taste in revenge arcs and I just dont think it landed for me. 

I think I appreciate it a lot more now that im fully deep into the series. I do like a lot about it, from its gameplay to its environment to a lot of the little cast interactions, to just shulk existing. yeah. yeah its alright

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

THE FORTY-FIVE: ST. VINCENT

Sleazy, gritty, grimy – these are the words used to describe the latest iteration of St. Vincent, Annie Clark’s alter ego. As she teases the release of her upcoming new album, ‘Daddy’s Home’, Eve Barlow finds out who’s wearing the trousers now.

Photos: Zackery Michael

Yellow may be the colour of gold, the hue of a perfect blonde or the shade of the sun, but when it’s too garish, yellow denotes the stain of sickness and the luridness of sleaze. On ‘Pay Your Way In Pain’ – the first single from St. Vincent’s forthcoming sixth album ‘Daddy’s Home’ – Annie Clark basks in the palette of cheap 1970s yellows; a dirty, salacious yellow that even the most prudish of individuals find difficult to avert their gaze from. It’s a yellow that recalls the smell of cigarettes on fingers, the tape across tomorrow’s crime scene or the dull ache of bad penetration.

The video for the single, which dropped last Thursday, features Clark in a blonde wig and suit, channeling a John Cassavetes anti-heroine (think Gena Rowlands in Gloria) and ‘Fame’-era Bowie. She twists in front of too-bright disco lights. She roughs up her voice. She sings about the price we pay for searching for acceptance while being outcast from society. “So I went to the park just to watch the little children/ The mothers saw my heels and they said I wasn’t welcome,” she coos, and you immediately recognise the scene of a free woman threatening the post-nuclear families aspiring to innocence. Clark is here to pervert them.

She laughs. “That’s how I feel!” From her studio in Los Angeles, she begins quoting lyrics from Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Red House’. “It’s a blues song for 2021.” LA is a city Clark reluctantly only half calls home, and one that is opposed to her vastly preferred New York. “I don’t feel any romantic attachment to Los Angeles,” she says of the place she coined the song ‘Los Ageless’ about on 2017’s ‘Masseduction’ (“The Los Ageless hang out by the bar/ Burn the pages of unwritten memoirs”).“The best that could be said of LA is, ‘Yeah it’s nice.’ And it is! LA is easy and pleasant. But if you were a person the last thing you’d want someone to say about you is: ‘She’s nice!’”

On ‘Daddy’s Home’, Clark writes about a past derelict New York; a place Los Angeles would suffocate in. “The idea of New York, the art that came out of it, and my living there,” she says. “I’ve not given up my card. I don’t feel in any way ready to renounce my New York citizenship. I bought an apartment so I didn’t have to.” Her down-and-out New York is one a true masochist would love, and it’s sleazy in excess. Sleaze is usually the thing men flaunt at a woman’s expense. In 2021, the proverbial Daddy in the title is Clark. But there’s also a literal Daddy. He came home in the winter of 2019.

On the title track, Clark sings about “inmate 502”: her father. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison for his involvement in a $43m stock fraud scheme. He went away in May 2010. Clark reacted by writing her third breakthrough album ‘Strange Mercy’ in 2011; inspired not just by her father’s imprisonment but the effects it had on her life.“I mean it was rough stuff,” she says. “It was a fuck show. Absolutely terrible. Gut-wrenching. Like so many times in life, music saved me from all kinds of personal peril. I was angry. I was devastated. There’s a sort of dullness to incarceration where you don’t have any control. It’s like a thud at the basement of your being. So I wrote all about it,” she says.

Back then, she was aloof about meaning. In an interview we did that year, she called from a hotel rooftop in Phoenix and was fried from analytical questions. She excused her lack of desire to talk about ‘Strange Mercy’ as a means of protecting fans who could interpret it at will. Really she was protecting an audience closer to home. It’s clear now that the title track is about her father’s imprisonment (“Our father in exile/ For God only knows how many years”). Clark’s parents divorced when she was a child, and they have eight children in their mixed family, some of whom were very young when ‘Strange Mercy’ came out. She explains this discretion now as her method of sheltering them.

“I am protective of my family,” she says. “It didn’t feel safe to me. I disliked the fact that it was taken as malicious obfuscations. No.” Clark wanted to deal with the family drama in art but not in press. She managed to remain tight-lipped until she became the subject of a different intrusion. As St. Vincent’s star continued to rocket, Clark found herself in a relationship with British model Cara Delevingne from 2014 to 2016, and attracted celebrity tabloid attention. Details of her family’s past were exposed. The Daily Mail came knocking on her sister’s door in Texas, where Clark is from.

“Luckily I’m super tight with my family and the Daily Mail didn’t find anybody who was gonna sell me out,” she says. “They were looking for it. Clark girls are a fucking impenetrable force. We will cut a bitch.”

Four years later, Clark gets to own the narrative herself in the medium that’s most apt: music. “The story has evolved. I’ve evolved. People have grown up. I would rather be the one to tell my story,” she says, ruminating on the misfortune that this was robbed from her: a story that writes itself. “My father’s release from prison is a great starting point, right?” Between tours and whenever she could manage, Clark would go and visit him in prison and would be signing autographs in the visitation room for the inmates, who all followed her success with every album release, press clipping and late night TV spot. She joked to her sisters that she’d become the belle of the ball there. “I don’t have to make that up,” she says.

There’s an ease to Clark’s interview manner that hasn’t existed before. She seems ready not just to discuss her father’s story, but to own certain elements of herself. “Hell where can you run when the outlaw’s inside you,” she sings on the title track, alluding to her common traits with her father. “I’ve always had a relationship with my dad and a good one. We’re very similar,” she says. “The movies we like, the books, he liked fashion. He’s really funny, he’s a good time.” Her father’s release gave Clark and her brothers and sisters permission to joke. “The title, ‘Daddy’s Home’ makes me laugh. It sounds fucking pervy as hell. But it’s about a real father ten years later. I’m Daddy now!”

The question of who’s fathering who is a serious one, but it’s also not serious. Clark wears the idea of Daddy as a costume. She likes to play. She joins today’s Zoom in a pair of sunglasses wider than her face and a silk scarf framing her head. The sunglasses come off, and the scarf is a tool for distraction. She ties it above her forehead, attempts a neckerchief, eventually tosses it aside. Clark can only be earnest for so long before she seeks some mischief. She doesn’t like to stay in reality for extensive periods. “I like to create a world and then I get to live in it and be somebody new every two or three years,” she says. “Who wants to be themselves all the time?”

‘Daddy’s Home‘ began in New York at Electric Lady studios before COVID hit and was finished in her studio in LA. She worked on it with “my friend Jack” [Jack Antonoff, producer for Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Taylor Swift]. Antonoff and Clark worked on ‘Masseduction’ and found a winning formula, pushing Clark’s guitar-orientated electronic universe to its poppiest maximum, without compromising her idiosyncrasies. “We’re simpatico. He’s a dream,” she says. “He played the hell outta instruments on this record. He’s crushing it on drums, crushing it on Wurlitzer.” The pair let loose. They began with ‘The Holiday Party’, one of the warmest tracks Clark’s ever written. It’s as inviting as a winter fireplace, stoked by soulful horns, acoustic guitar and backing singers. “Every time they sang something I’d say, ‘Yeah but can you do it sleazier? Make your voice sound like you’ve been up for three days.” Clark speaks of an unspoken understanding with Antonoff as regards the vibe: “Familiar sounds. The opposite of my hands coming out of the speaker to choke you till you like it. This is not submission. Just inviting. I can tell a story in a different way.”

The entire record is familiar, giving the listener the satisfaction that they’ve heard the songs before but can’t quite place them. It’s a satisfying accompaniment to a pandemic that encouraged nostalgic listening. Clark was nostalgic too. She reverted to records she enjoyed with her father: Stevie Wonder’s catalogue from the 1970s (‘Songs In The Key Of Life’, ‘Innervisions’, ‘Talking Book’) and Steely Dan. “Not to be the dude at the record store but it’s specifically post-flower child idealism of the ’60s,” she explains. “It’s when it flipped into nihilism, which I much prefer. Pre disco, pre punk. That music is in me in a deep way. It’s in my ears.”

On ‘The Melting Of The Sun’ she has a delicious time creating a psychedelic Pink Floyd odyssey while exploring the path tread by her heroes Marilyn Monroe, Joni Mitchell, Joan Didion and Nina Simone. It’s a series of beautiful vignettes of brilliant women who were met with a hostile environment. Clark considers what they did to overcome that. “I’m thanking all these women for making it easier for me to do it. I hope I didn’t totally let them down.” Clark is often the only woman sharing a stage with rock luminaries such as Dave Grohl, Damon Albarn and David Byrne, and has appeared to have shattered a male-centric glass ceiling. She’s unsure she’s doing enough to redress the imbalance. “There are little things I can do and control,” she says of hiring women on her team. “God! Now I feel like I should do more. What should I do? It’s a big question. You know what I have seen a lot more from when I started to now? Girls playing guitar.”

If one woman reinvented the guitar in the past decade, it’s Clark. Behind her is a rack of them. The pandemic has taken her out of the wild in which she’s accustomed to tantalising audiences at night with her displays of riffing and heel-balancing. Instead, she’s chained to her desk. Her obsession with heels in the lyrics of ‘Daddy’s Home’ she reckons may be a reflection of her nights performing ‘Masseduction’ in thigh highs. “I made sure that nothing I wore was comfortable,” she recalls. “Everything was about stricture and structure and latex. I had to train all the time to make sure I could handle it.” Is she taking the heels off when live shows return? “Absofuckinglutely not.”

Clark is interested in the new generation. She’s recently tweeted about Arlo Parks and has become a big fan of Russian singer-songwriter Kate NV. “I’m obsessed with Russia,” she says. In a recent LA Times profile, she professed to a pandemic intellectual fixation on Stalin. “Yeah! I mean right now my computer is propped up on stuff. You are sitting on The Gulag Archipelago, The Best Short Stories Of Dostoyevsky andThe Plays Of Chekhov. I’m kinda in it.” The pop world interests Clark, too. She was credited with a co-write on Swift’s 2019 album ‘Lover’. At last year’s Grammys she performed a duet with Dua Lipa. It was one of the queerest performances the Grammys has ever aired. Clark interrupts.

“What about it seemed queer?!”

You know… The lip bite, for one!

“Wait. Did she bite her lip?”

No, you bit your lip.

“I did?!”

Everyone was talking about it. Come on, Annie.

“Serious? I…”

You both waltzed around each other with matching hairdos, making eyes…

“I have no memory of it.”

Frustrating as it may be in a world of too much information, Clark’s lack of willingness to overanalyse every creative decision she makes or participates in is something to treasure. “I want to be a writer who can write great songs,” she says. “I’m so glad I can play guitar and fuck around in the studio to my heart’s desire but it’s about what you can say. What’s a great song? What lyric is gonna rip your guts open. Just make great shit! That’s where I was with this record. That’s all I wanna do with my life.”

More than a decade into St. Vincent, Clark doesn’t reflect. She looks strictly forward. “I’m like a horse with blinders,” she says. She did make an exception to take stock lately when the phone rang. “I saw a +44 and that gets me excited,” she says. “Who could this be?” Well, who was it? “Paul McCartney,” she says, in disbelief. “Anything I’ve done, any mistake I’ve made, somehow it’s forgiven, assuaged. I did something right in my life if a fucking Beatle called me.”

Now there’s a get out of jail free card if ever she needed one.

Daddy’s Home by St. Vincent is out May 14, 2021.

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Tis the Damn Season

Chapter 6- Last Christmas

Hi all! Sorry she took forever- I edited all by myself, so be gentle!

Plans change. Tickets do too, it seems. Harry's beautiful hope, his gift, it came in handy.

Not in the right way, the intended way. Not because she came to him, ran around the world or even an unfamiliar city with him. Those were dreamy ideas, when she wound up spending all of fall semester in Holmes Chapel. Those daydreams shaded the hospital walls and funeral home with sunny possibilities.

Her father had a heart attack and her mother a breakdown. It was too late, when her mother noticed he'd been out with the dog for too long and the dog was inside whining.

"I knew, in my gut. Day dawned wrong. And then never ended." She'd cried. Her mother had cried in her arms in a reversal Emma felt was way beyond her maturity level.

That hadnt been over the phone. Over the phone had only been muffled sobbing and her dad's name, "John."

Emma didn't call him John, but she could forgive her mother. It was up to her mother's good friend Di to share the news: Emma had always looked up to Di, she'd had some tragic marriage in her youth, and then decided god damned men weren't for her.

At the moment, Emma was of a similar mind.

Emma assumed she'd have a similar life to Di, had planned for it actually. Di had her own house, a thriving career as a solicitor and no children. A life like that, of her own, was Emma's dearest wish before she wished to be able to say yes to Harry.

Now she just wished her dad was still around.

There were so many plans to make, a funeral to finance and a mother to support, to put back together.

It's a wonder Emma wasn't an outright romantic, the way her parents had been, lifelong sweethearts. They still had moon eyes for each other until the very end, could be found holding hands on the couch often. Emma had come home unexpectedly early last year and found her mother sitting on the kitchen counter with her father between her legs making out like teenagers.

It was a lot to live up to.

Emma supposed it was why she kept all her heart eyes and love life in the closet and saved it all up to spend once a year. Just like an old lady's Christmas budget.

This year, she didn't think it would be happening. Harry must have had some rich person thing going on with the ticket, because the minute she decided that rather than ask her mom to buy her a ticket to get home, for the funeral, instead use the one she  had from Harry, he'd called. There was clear excitement in his voice, hot on the heels of her phone call to the airlines. It was August. He was set to embark soon, she'd just got back to Amsterdam. He must have thought she was gonna sneak in a cheeky visit.

"You're coming?"

"What?" She was so disoriented. Coming where? What was going on? Her brain was muffled with plans her feelings kept stumbling over at the knees like a trip wire.

"To see me? I got a notification you used the ticket?"

Her brain was muddled, like an egg in a hot pan, what? How did he do that? "No, Harry, umm I'm not coming. I don't even know where you are right now." She barely knew where she was.

"Whose fault is that?" There was a tiny edge to his voice that would cut her if she could even notice. "You could have answered my calls."

"Harry," she sighed, she had been avoiding him a bit. Mostly because she had an evergreen memory of his disappointed face when she told him going on tour was too much, that she simply didn't have the time. She was glad she couldn't see his face when she said the next bit. His voice was buoyant with hope, she was about to pop that balloon. "I need the ticket to go somewhere else." She couldn't bear to say it, was biting her lip hard not to think it, the liquid memory brimming anyway.

"Yeah, ok. Well, Happy Christmas I guess. See you in four months, maybe." The bitterness in his voice was like an old lemon and she didn't even have time to sweeten it with truth when his phone clicked off.

That made her resentful. How could this truth be sweet in any way? It got worse over time, the resentment just nestled among her other griefs.

Then he wouldn't answer her calls. She supposed that was giving her a taste of her own medicine and it was a quick wash down her throat with no water after the other jagged pill life had just forced down her throat.

And it didn't get better. Though, she had to scoff at herself for even having a square of heart for Harry to break leftover.

Break it did though, when she heard he had a new girlfriend, a blonde, a model, a French blonde model.

Of course.

Emma couldn't help but stalk her instagram. His was useless, ill used, so when she'd finished a day of running the house she'd been a child in while taking care of her grieving mother, she'd torture herself some more and watch stories where the beautiful blonde played in a pool, or made jokes, or showed the big mirror over her bed.

That one hurt most. She'd never seen Harry's bed, nor he hers. The little devil voice inside her head whisper shouted that he much preferred the one he was in now, with the mirror and the model to the tiny inn room they'd spent all their overnights in.

She didn't hear from him, and she never called to explain herself either. What would she say? My life fell apart and I needed your ticket, but it hurt to much to say it out loud and you were to much of an asshole to let me say it.

Harry wasn't an asshole, not really, he was hurt. Emma was stunned she had that power, though she had admitted to herself there was more between them than mistletoe kisses and holiday fucks.

She'd admitted it was more to her.

He acted like it was more to him, unless this was just a bruised ego. She didn't like to think that. Harry had every reason to have a giant head, figuratively to go with the oversized cranium he actually sported, but he'd never shown it. He was cocky at times, just enough to be sexy. All of that was a veneer over a sweet vulnerability that made everybody want to be around him, protect him, love him.

Did she love him?

No, she didn't think so, but given more time, the potential was there, like a rock at the top of a hill, all it would take was a push.

Which, time on tour with him would have been. If she could have went. Which she couldn't. She wanted to explain all of this to him as soon as she has the chance- which she would in 6 hours.

Her promises to herself were that she would not cry and that she would accept his new relationship. His real relationship. Emma would not try to touch him, or kiss him, or confess her almost love to him.

He was probably in love himself, from her internet stalks, she was halfway there, with both of them. Harry edged it out by being perfect in person. Camille, that was frenchies name, could only be half as perfect as Emma made her in her head.

"Do I wear the sweater?" She asked her reflection. She'd had to become her best friend the last six months. Emma might have called her mom her best friend, just based on time spent together, if their relationship was reciprocal, but at this turn of the road, she was supporting her mom as she grieved and got back to herself. Emma could see glimmers. She had hope.

She however wasn't sure she had hope for herself. Was she really contemplating wearing the sweater Harry gave her last Christmas to his mother's Christmas party? How pathetic was that? She was rolling her eyes at herself. He'd had a big year, and he bought lots of gifts, probably for his new girl, so her thinking he'd remember felt narcissistic.

Plus, it was her favorite, which mostly had nothing to do with the fact it was from Harry.

Emma really didn't want to go, but Gemma was expecting her. And she really needed to see her, have her support. They'd been texting, a lot. Gemma had heard about her dad and reached out. It was the only emotionally connection Emma really had, those texts, and she needed to see Gemma, honestly. Even if it meant seeing Harry.

She might have wanted to see Harry.

To explain, and maybe just to see him. Make sure he was happy, feel his warmth, steal him back.

No, that was unlikely. See if he was happy and wish him well.

She wore the sweater.

The house was cozy when she arrived, like it always was and it thawed her heart enough for it to ache a bit. For something new. Her heart ached a fair bit off and on, then went numb. It was the only way she'd survived lately. Emma knew she was putting off really feeling her major loss.

It was a strange pleasure to mourn something as minor as heartbreak.

The hug from Gemma made the trip through the snow and down memory lane worth it. And the people all around her and their laughter were invigorating.

The alcohol helped as well. Their house was pretty dry but had been especially when she started to notice her mom was unconsciously developing a bottle a day habit. When it wasn't there she didn't mention it though, so Emma didn't buy it, except for special occasions.

She was merry, and felt held. Her hand was in Gemma's. She'd stayed away from the back bathroom and the kitchen, even come in the front door.

Emma felt like she was getting away with it.

Harry wasn't there, with girlfriend in tow or not. So all her pontificating about checking on him was all for naught, and she was getting all the crosses. She certainly felt like today was a plus.

Until she heard a tone of elation issue from Anne's happy voice that only motherly joy could produce.

Harry was here.

"Fuck!" Came out of her mouth, and Gemma looked at her sharply.

"What?"

"Nothing, guess I'm jumpy, your mum's shout made me spill." Emma thought she shouted an excuse me while she hurried up the stairs to hide, find a place farthest away from Harry and his happiness. He might be alone, but if he was glowing like a brand, the way he did when they holed up together only slightly dimmed by their parting, now because of it, from some other lover, Emma couldn't stand it.

Plus, she thought she'd heard another name connected to his over her own rated r exclamation.

She was coming out of the bathroom. Emma had suppressed her tears ruthlessly and her bottom lip might bruise from the brutal teeth marks she employed. She'd have given herself some words in the mirror, affirmations helped, but what was she gonna say. "You're happy for him."

She wasn't. She was happy with him.

"Fuck this." Emma decided the only course of action was a straight line to her parents house. her mother's house, she mentally corrected and gave herself a more legitimate reason to cry than over a boy. Even if that boy was Harry Styles.

Who she barely stopped herself from running into as she kept her head down and rounded the bannister to head down the stairs.

"Jesus! You gave me a fright!" She dramatized and kept a hand over her heart and her tear stained face down.

"Emma." His voice was flat, and not cold, but the warmth that snuggled around her name was absent and she shivered. "I wondered if you'd be here." Not Hoped, she noted. "What are you doing up here? Don't your usually use the back bathroom?" There was just a bit of heat in that statement, but it didn't warm, it burned. Was he being mean, that wasn't like him? "Nice sweater." Ok, definitely mean.

Her face came up with that thought, it shocked her out of the sense of control she was exercising.

He did look hard, mean, for a moment, but soft around the edges like a melting popsicle when he caught her face.

"Are you crying?" His hand came up and he stopped it mid air before it wiped away her tear.

Emma felt her body lean into him and another tear slipped out when his warm palm and always chilly finger tips touched her cheek.

God she'd missed him! While she was bolstering her mother, she'd needed support. He was supportive, or would have been. But he wasn't taking her calls, and she couldn't bring herself to text, "my dad died". Then, it was such old news, she figured he'd have heard from Gemma.

He took his hand away like she was a hot cooktop.

He pushed his hair back off his forehead with the hand probably damp with her tears and bravely changed the subject. "How long you in town for this time? Jetting off to some climate refuge hotspot soon?"

Emma flinched. Oh- he didn't know.

"Un, no, I'm living here." She didn't elaborate, maybe saying it out loud was as hard as texting it. "I was actually just about to head home to check on my mum. The back bathroom was in use, and the cold makes me need to pee." What the fuck was she talking about, he didn't need that information.

His dimple pressed in just a bit and he went to say something, but Emma just couldn't. She couldn't look at him anymore, or tell him about why she lived there, or about the ticket he seemed to have been hurt enough to move on over. She definitely didn't want to see evidence of his movement, especially not his upgrade. "Anyway, nice to see you," the words shot out of her mouth, impresonal and true. "Bye Harry."

"Wait Emma!" She thought she heard, but she just kept going. She'd tell Gemma she was sick.

She nearly was when she saw Harry's girlfriend hugging her closest friend in the living room.

"Oh god."

Luckily, when she got home, her mum was awake and feeling chatty, not blue. Emma focused on her and the special she was watching. Let the warm sound of her mother's once common laughter wrap around her as a blanket. It was more comforting than a cup of tea.

She waited until later to cry herself to sleep.

The next day was Christmas- the first without her father. She dried her rightful tears before she saw her mom, though she would have had all the standing in the world for them and she felt better about them than those she's shed the night before. She knew though that her wet face would cause a cascade event, the first drop in a waterfall, so she dried them up.

They had traditions to get through.

And get through they did. They each wrapped a gift for her father that they left under the tree and held each other right before tucking into a late brunch and preparing a boozy and sweet laden Christmas dinner, Emma contributed the puddings.

They were very much her mother's favorite, and she broke out a scandi recipe she'd enjoyed the last several years.

She Skyped her university friends, they exchanged the small gifts she'd mailed them and them her. She missed them something awful. She missed school horribly, so much she even emailed her advisor. All of her heart hoped to return after the winter break.

Emma thought the feeling of missing something was a bit like a paper cut and losing your keys combined.

Harry called late Christmas Day, just a few minutes shy of Boxing Day. That more than stung, it was a gut punch, or a knife plunge, though she'd never had either.

Emma ignored the call from Harry. What was there to say?

Boxing Day, well, Emma wasn't much of a drinker, but it was basically a tenet of British culture to get obliterated while watching the queen.

For the last several years, Emma had been off her face on Harry. This year she chose savingnon blanc with her mum. Two days, then they'd go back to a dry house. Tradition was tradition, and she couldn't think about the one she'd started and ached all over for.

What a pale imitation of ecstasy drunkenness was, though she supposed they both left a hangover, a residue.

Her bed, when she begged off to it early was warm and fragrant, but it smelled all wrong. No sandalwood or black coffee, not even the mint she'd come to associated with the comfort of love, or something like it.

It was worse, because when she closed her eyes, having seen Harry's someone in person, she could see him snugged up to her, so cozy. It was in their place, their room at the Boat's Head.

It was over, Boxing Day, when she puked.

She had another missed call from Harry. 11:59 Her personal witching hour.

The next day was a little bit better, either because she had her literal hangover to tend, or because she'd ripped the bandaid off her hurt and let the wound air.

"Hiya!" Gemma's voice and face were bright, unlike the gray day.

"Hello." Emma smiled and her voice held it, she held onto it. "You're merry!"

"Yeah, I'm at the pub. Everybody is at the pub," she flashed the phone around so Emma could see the waving swaying people, "we wanted to get you outta the house, you made such an effective Irish exit the other day you've let your people down, we need to see your smile. You feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you." Emma thought about it, there was a pull to the pub. "Um, maybe I can swing over."

It only took a few minutes to throw on jeans and a jumper, not her former favorite. The walk was a little longer.

When she found them, her first comment was "Im not drinking!" Over a grimace.

"Too much wine with old Elizabeth, huh? " Gemma Laughed

"Yes! Did you know my mum has a long pour?" Emma shared with a laugh.

"No, but mine's gotten more heavy on the booze with me lately, they must like the new stages. Daughters as actual friends and drinking partners. Mum is thrilled!" Gemma grinned.  "So am I! Harry's a little jealous."

Emma tried to catch her grimace before it stomped across her face. Gemma kept talking and she thought she'd got away with it.

"He wants to be one of the girl's! He came down last night and mum, Camille and I were sharing wine and mum was showing her atrocious pictures. You'd think he'd be mad or embarrassed! He was like, 'Where's my glass?'" Gemma was staring at her while she chuckled.

Emma had less success not responding. Her face was a picture she was sure, a jealous one. And then she heard herself asking, "what's she like?" She gulped down the g word she almost voiced. "Camille?"

Gemma made a funny face, then looked at her again. "Um, she's silly and kinda quiet and I think she's worried my mom will care she's posed nude."

She wouldn't. That wasn't Anne's style. And if she did have an issue, she'd never voice it. She was really big on respecting her kids choices. Even some of the stupider ones Harry had made.

Was she ranked among those now?

"Why do you ask?" The gentleness in a Gemma's voice told Emma she knew more than she was saying.

Emma couldn't explain, she was still in such a tender state, like a fissured piece of glass, she knew she couldn't go over it. "I just hope Harry's happy."  It was the only true thing she could say.

And Gemma, bless her just looped her arm through Emma's and said like she was holding a cracked egg. "He is." She left it at that, before she stood, pulling Emma after her. "And we need another drink." Apparently Emma was drinking, she needed it.

They spent another couple hours at the pub and Emma walked home through the soft snow. Her nose was stuffy, and her eyes were leaking, and she was drunk. Least she realized she must be, cuz she was crying. She really hated crying.

She was still weeping under her breath when she got home and found Harry on her doorstoop.

"You're still here?" She boggled. She assumed he'd taken his girlfriend to his big London home Emma had never been to, since she wasn't ever his g word.

"Yeah." He rubbed his hands over his corduroy flares. She'd consider what that might mean, but the pants distracted her. Those were new, must be getting fashion influences from new places, mew people. Those pants were roomy for him. He looked good in them. He looked good, happy.

"Did you need something?" Seeing himwas ripping her guts out and she could barely keep more tears at bay. Her insides were dangerously close to the skin now, tender and exposed. She hoped the distance between them and the weather and, well, maybe his rose colored glasses brought on by loving some other girl, he wouldn't notice her crying.

Over him. At the moment.

"No, I, um," he swallowed. "I thought we might talk." He made those green eyes at her and she hated it. Cuz they were soft and for someone else these days.

"I think we've said it all."

"We haven't said anything, not really, in a year."

"Yeah, well actions over words mate." Good, she was angry. She tried to go around him, into her door. Out of the cold and this situation.

"Emma, wait." He caught her shoulders and her blood froze in her veins but her tears were hot on her cheeks. "I'mso sorry about your dad." He choked up too.

She looked at him and let hurt run down her face, didn't even bother trying to stiffen her upper lip. When he opened his arms, she went to him and cried in a way she really hadn't let herself, into the comfort of his scent, the hurt of his presence.

Emma wasn't sure how long she cried, they wound up siting on the cold stone bench when their knocking knees froze.

"S that why you used the ticket?" He whispered against her hair sometime later.

She nodded. Sniffed up her tears and his pain laced smell.

"Why didn't you call me?"

She shrugged.

"I would have understood. And I would have come, to be with you."

Her tears apparently hadn't run out. She knew that, but she was hurt, by his hurt and his expectation.

She looked up at him. Her lips were so close to his, the outer edge that felt so plush and lovely.

That was a Liberty she didn't have. Maybe never a right she had, like him just expecting her to drop her goals to go to him.

"Where's your girlfriend?" She said the word like the four letters it felt like it was to her.

"Um," he stumbled over the subject change . "She was tired."

"You tell her you were coming to see a girl you used to fuck?"

"What?" He looked at her with a frown and Emma supposed she was being mean, mean but honest. "Don't say it like that. That's not what we were about."

Emma quirked a brow at him. "No?"

"Listen, why are you being like this?" He swallowed and looked like the wronged party when he was the one who assumed the worst of her, then abandoned her, moved on, and showed up, she could only assume, to rub it in her face.

The last year had been the worst of her life, and he'd been part of that. Mostly his absence.

Whoever's fault that was.

"Look, I don't need your pity or your condolences. Or your forgiveness. You just assumed I was taking advantage of you like you didn't know me at all. Which I realized is true apart from knowing what I look like naked, right? Let's be honest Harry? Huh, I'm just the girl you used to fuck over break. Your Christmas bit of fun. Til you found your next model. Who you couldn't wait to come home and show off, right in my face. So if we were more, you're a heartless asshole." She was crying over him now, but half the tears at least were angry and her face must be bright red.

The kicked puppy look on his face was so genuine and felt so false to her she could scream. "Why would I even think you would care if I had a girlfriend or not? If anybody was just the person the other thought of as a holiday fling, it was you about me, Emma."  He huffed, took down the finger he'd stood up to point at her. "I tried for more, asked for more?"

"When?" He'd asked for more, how'd she miss that?

"What'd you think the ticket was for? That was me asking you for more, at least more time?"

"I don't have extra time." She countered. Emma supposed that was some mealy mouthed passive way of saying you wanted to spend time with a person at least.

"And I do?" He yelled that before taking a big breath and muttering sorry. "Listen, I know what you're about, and that you are very serious saving the world, but I'm just as busy as you, more, and I would have made time for you."

"Why?" She stood up into his space. "So I could just miss you more, fall more for you and not get to have you in any real way? To torture myself?" And there is was. Emma knew the ache of the first weeks without him, and she'd always counted their brief time together as worth it. Subjecting herself to more just seemed masochistic. "Have more time with you so I have to get over you all over again multiple times a year."

"Who says you would have had to get over me? We could have been together!" Both of their voices had escalated past the bounds of polite disagreement.

"Together in every way except literally?" She threw her hands out at her sides. "What's the point of that?"

"The point?" He huffed. "The point is that I wanted you and you wanted me, and we could have had each other, but you're too busy," he sneered, "and couldn't talk to me."

"I couldn't talk to anyone!" She screamed. "I was supposed to text you that my dad died and I needed to use the ticket that was supposed to be a gift but was more like a curse, to take care of my mom. That my dream was at best on hold while I made sure my mum could get out of bed?" He looked a little slapped. "While you were off what? Being a rockstar? Having a record breaking year? Moving on? Out of spite?!" She didn't want to think that, but she'd wondered. She knew she was giving herself to much credit. "Why you made sure to bring her to Holmes Chapel? You take her to the Boar's Head too? Or just fuck her in your mum's powder room?" The words were explosive, the cadence like charges lighting off each other. Emma felt like a powder keg.

He was shaking his head. "Stop it. No, no, I didn't move on, not until I thought you were done with me."

"Oh, when I needed you and you wouldn't answer my calls?"

He looked at the ground then. When his eyes came up , the lovely green of them was even more vibrant, due to the tears crowding around their ages. "Emma, I'm so sorry about that. I'll never forgive myself."

His sincerity softened her, though the anger she'd wrapped around herself like a coat was all that was keeping her ribs together.

"I'm so sorry, I know the last year has been more than anybody should have to bear, especially alone." He took  a big breath. "But Camille, I didn't, it's not," he stumbled over the words like they were glass edges, but Emma had a feeling she was the one who was about to get cut. "Um, she and I just met and, well, we, we get on." That was a kind way to put it. "I wasn't looking for somebody else. But I was lonely and she's," the changes on his face ripped through Emma. "She's lovely. I brought her home, because I wanted mum to meet her." That told Emma everything.

"You love her?" She already knew the answer.

He ran his hand through his locks, avoided eye contact until the last second, "yeah, yeah, I think I might."

Emma was nodding, biting her lip to gatekeep the fresh round of tears threatening. "That's good Harry, I'm," she breathed, "I'm happy for you."

He looked at her then. "Really?"

"Course, I care about you, your happiness." That brought on the tears and he reached for her and she had to throw up her hands to keep him away. "No, no, please don't touch me."

His phone rang, he was the only person she knew who actually kept their ringer on. Well the only person under 50, it made her smile. Then cringe, the weird personal knowledge she had because of how much of an almost they were. From his face, Emma knew it was his actual calling.

"Um," he shady buttoned the call. "I have to go."

"Yeah," was all she could respond with, she already knew that. "Well, have a happy nee year Harry. You sticking around?" God she hoped not. May have to convince her mum to go to London if so.

He shook his head, "Um no, we're going to Paris." Ouch. Emma tried for subtle when she wrapped an arm around herself. "Sorry, I'd like," he always looked so genuine lately, in every interview she'd watched to hurt herself, his heart on his sleeve, in his eyes now. "I'd like to hug you, think you could stomach it?"

Emma nodded and went to him for the barest second and then concentrated on the pressure behind her eyes while he kept her close. "I'm so sorry Emma, for everything. I'd really like to be friends," he'd pulled back to hold her eye line at that.

She nodded, she wasn't sure how she'd handle that, but at best it was a couple phone calls, and no weekends away, they hadn't mentioned that in their middle state, she didn't think it would be to hard to keep him at arms length when they had continents between them most times. "Yeah, ok, friends. You take care of yourself, Harry." Emma was a strong girl, woman now, she could handle some texts and a phone call or so.

He kissed her cheek, a continental affectation she closed her eyes over and turned to go. He was almost out of the gate when he turned back. "I'd never take her to the Boar's Head, by the way, that's our place. I'd never take anybody else there." Before she could even think of a response he looked away quick and started to go. "Take care of yourself, Emma. Happy New Year." That came back to her on the wind.

Blew away like the hold she had on the heart she'd given him last Christmas. At least he was someone special.

[do-you-have-a-flag]

Destiel shippers come get ya’ll juice!

SO @deadwright​ and I were inspired by Some Tumblr Posts and the twitter Roadhouse  Wedding stuff and keep writing headcanons about Thee Destiel 2021 Married Ever After S16 SPN Romantic Event Of The Season, so here’s that. 

Arranged in order of marital chronology and cutting out us keysmashing too much:

oh man imagine all the burgers they get catered for the reception dean got it done himself he would’ve been so particular about the catering bridezilla cas would probably be THEE bitchiest bridezilla

it's also definitely that trope where all the other hunters ect KNOW that that many of them and the wedding party are essentially a target for trouble so everyone spends the 24 hours leading up to the vows taking out every beastie who shows up on a revenge kick out of sight because they'll be damned if they let ANYTHING stop this wedding and Dean and cas are both having their marital jitters oh god im not good enough what if something goes wrong about mundane things while monsters are getting their ass kicked outside AWWWWWWWW for sure for sure, they’re hunter royalty this wedding is a big deal like half the attendees are nursing injuries but grinning widely

they don't do the can't see eachother before the wedding thing because you KNOW dean would be fixing cas' tie last minute

dean wears a blue pocket square to match cas' tie cas wears a FLANNEL SQUARE

I’m obsessed w the idea of cas giving dean a little bit of his grace in a small bottle on a chain for him to wear or like a wing feather or some part of him god the grace in a bottle breaks me every time in fic dean probably builds cas something but every time i try to think of something specific i choke up

i was thinking like what if trading grace is as close to a romantic gesture as angels have and he's like..... technically i left some grace behind in your mark when i dragged you from the pit and dean is like ARE YOU SAYING WE'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME? 

they are so sweet i’m on the verge of tears the ability to do anything by halves in their relationship was burnt out by like the second return from the dead moment they are too insane to be anything less than All In And Then Some

at one point someone was like hey cas do you want to run your vows by someone as practice? and he started reading what he'd prepared and it devolved into Biblically Grand Statements Of The Power Of Love And The Redemption Of - ect ect ect and it's because unlike the confession scene he's had TOO much preparation and overshot into uncanny angelic vibes he makes some edits because he know the expressions he gets when he reads it aren't what he intended

dean writes page after page after page of unused drafts, none of them are particularly floral

he does the cliche of ripping up his vows and improvising at the altar, something he gets mercilessly teased for because he swore he wouldn't but it classifies as a chick flick moment

THAT’S SO PEAK HIM OH MY GOD and you knoooooow you just KNOW it’s beautiful and emotional and everyone is crying

god the NOVELTY of dean being emotionally honest in front of people......im gonna faint YEA yeah... ONE TIME ONLY DEAL he thinks loudly at Sam's smug expression

anyway, at the wedding dean is the one who spends the whole ceremony with like crying cat meme eyes after the confession scene i’m pretty sure the minute the vows start cas is in the same boat USELESS HUSBANDS dean gets passed a handkerchief for his tears and immediately goes to use it on cas' face and they both laugh sob love the idea that everyone individually thought they were too tough to cry but they all broke at various stages yeah sam definitely starts to choke up just standing up there with his brother sam chokes up before the ceremony even started, like probably when he was pinning on dean’s corsage

anyway, Jack dancing with his two dads at the reception CAS’ BEST MAN / FLOWER BOY FLOWER MAN let him heelie down the aisle with the flowers LITTLE MAN GO NYOOM who makes him a little flower crown he wears with a proud lil smile? claire ofc, with those hair braiding skills? she makes it BEAUTIFUL flower crown: on nails: painted dads: MARRIED!!!!

when they say i do and kiss and everyone is cheering you can't convince me that someone doesn't let off what is either a gun or a dubiously legal firework in celebration jack pops a few lightbulbs in his uncontrollable joy

Dean and Cas can't let go of each other, it's at LEAST one point of physical contact for the rest of the reception PERIODT

CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DANCING TO AIR SUPPLY

they definitely didn't do the wedding gifts thing but a few mysteriously show up anyway; discuss waffle iron from sam bc he remembers the becky incident meanwhile claire gets them flavoured lube because she’s an insane little mean girl she gets them a sampler package with like novelty flavours, gotta spring extra for a wedding PIE FLAVOURED LUBE

it’s gonna be the party of the century omfg you KNOW it! that dancefloor going OFF the BAR is FLOWING

dean gets dragged up onto the bar to make a speech and there's a moment at the end where he drags cas up there too and they're being playfully yelled at not to scuff it and there's hooting and catcalls as dean and cas kiss and dean gestures rudely before almost falling backwards off the bar before cas grabs him and climbing down is less romantic or dignified but he couldn't care if he wanted to

meanwhile sam and claire are outside defacing the impala with silly string and lewd graffiti and tin cans tied to the bumper for the going-away oh it is one hundo percent a just married atrocity there's enough condoms hidden in the car that they're still finding them months later

anyway wanna hear my disgustingly soppy honeymoon roadtrip concept? YOU KNOW I DO OKAY SO

you know at some point dean must have said some sad thing like for the longest time he never thought he'd live long enough to get married and the only circumstances he could imagine was hooking up drunkenly with a stranger at some vegas wedding scenario like that's the best he would ever get and he thinks it's mostly forgotten but then during their cross country honeymoon roadtrip castiel does in fact navigate them to las vegas and quietly mutters that the legal veracity of the little chapel on the city limits is dubious at best and they're already married so it couldn't do any harm and they get officiated by an elvis impersonator and a woman wearing more sequins than fabric throws cheap confetti over them

and after that they stop into every venue they can find that would be friendly to them to pretend they're eloping and at one point dean even pulls out the fbi id badges and the officiant is under the impression he's facilitating some sort of covert workplace romance 

one place is a kitchy little house that's clearly just the couple who run it opening their strange home to anyone who needs it and have been since the 70s and Castiel thinks for a moment when they're asked to pin something to the collection of stuff on the walls and ceiling before pulling the receipt for the pie they'd shared earlier in a dinner out and scrawling his and dean's name on it to be added to the clutter 

and at one point they stand ankle deep in a pond while some old hippie lady wraps their clasped hands together with soft fabric and chants something that dean knows isn't real magic but hey he's not going to tell her that and after the ceremony they sit on the grass and feed each other sweet bread to complete the binding or whatever and it's nice but it doesn't compare to the ranch where they both tossed their cowboy hats in the air and were given a horse to ride to their camp site

i thought about riverboat gambling for point one seconds and now i know in my bones that one of their many weddings was on a riverboat, they made the captain officiate after cornering him on deck in like five minutes, the crew sent them complimentary champagne and they threw fries at the birds following the boat while sharing it straight out of the bottle

if destiel can go canon multiple times they can get married multiple times CHANGE MY MIND THEY GET MARRIED SO MUCH the MOST married i just want them to get gay cowboy married

eventually i want them to end up at the beach bc dean has canonically never been to the coast their road trip is to get to the other coast

they send just married postcards back to sam from every stop sam stops feeling hurt he was left out of their vegas elopement wedding by the third wedding postcard he recieves sam saves them ofc bc GOD can you imagine them looking at the postcards on their 30th anniversary or s/t 🥺 showing their grandkids and recounting the story of each wedding there's a seashell taped to the last one

cas gets a terrible sunglasses tan and dean gets burnt on the tips of his ears and there's sand on sand on sand in all their clothes and at one point dean is blinking away salt water and cas is gripping his arm and saying something about the coral by them in the water and dean thinks that he likes floating beside cas a lot better than flying

dean has cas pick ice cream for them from a truck and hustles at carnival games enough to win them both big novelty foam hats and they both go back to their room and pass out immediately post shower sprawled across the bed and still smelling like sunscreen and salt water

dean tucks a little cocktail umbrella behind cas’ ear

cas spends most of the next day in dean's zepplin shirt and a pair of shorts they only picked up once they got there because neither of them thought to bring beach clothes, they sit on the balcony and dean sips his beer and idly plays with the ring on cas' finger and they play a game of what fictional monsters could they beat in a fight

cas’ true form is the size of the chrysler building he can fight king kong easy that's what he says and dean's like okay but what about mothra and castiel is like how would YOU defeat mothra and dean just goes "bugspray." GDJSGSHSGSHDSJ DEAN WOULD

in honour of misha putting his whole pussy into the role, cas wears a dress in at least one of their weddings

it's at one of those theme parks that's just historical re-enactments and people get their vows renewed there and there's costumes for the photobooth and the staff are like how long have you been married? castiel says two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty five minutes................ approximately.  and the photo is cas in a classical wedding gown and dean is wearing the veil with his old timey suit and there's a moose head on the wall behind them wearing the top hat he was given and they send that print with an arrow pointing at the moose with sam written next to it

i keep thinking bitch!!!! you KNOW WHAT!! you KNOW that dean is the type a guy who's heart races every time he feels his wedding ring/is always fiddling with it in the weeks after the wedding, like an anchor to remind him they really got married this is real he would NEED that physical reminder that he can have good things

he’s never ever going to take it off, the tan line will be permanent

how funny it would be if dean gets injured on a hunt and the monster guy is about to kill him and then the lights blow out and the monsters are like what was that and dean is just like "[spits blood] that's my husband." and nek minnit cas has just ripped through them thanks to teleporting in angel style and is just like Cas: [heals dean] "you're late for movie night" Dean: "Well if you'd gotten here earlier i would have been on time." Cas: >:| [kisses him]

cas is like i didn’t burn the popcorn this time you BETTER be alive to see it

[pointnumbersixteen]

My Personal Ranking of Ghosts Episodes and Why

So, here’s my personal order for all the current Ghosts episodes, from best to worst, with a bit of an explanation as to why I think so. I included who wrote each episode because the writing pairs tend to have consistent strengths and weaknesses that affect my enjoyment. These are, of course, just my opinions, and I recognize that different people have different tastes.  

1) Moonah Ston (Larry and Martha)

This episode is hilarious and it continues to be hilarious through multiple viewings (some of the jokes in other episodes start to wear thin after multiple viewings, but this one remains entirely solid through dozens of rewatches). Barclay and Bunny are my favorite guest characters throughout the show. Also some of my all-time favorite bits are in it: Cap stealing Thomas’s role doing the reading, the shooting of the pheasant with Cap, everything to do with Mary and the cooking of the pheasant, the way Alison yeets the pelaverga as soon as it’s handed to her, the juxtaposition of the eclipse ritual and the dinner party, Bunny’s ‘sobriety test.’ Also, there’s a strong A plot and a strong B plot that tie together, and all of the characters are fit into these two plots well, which is something the creators sometimes struggle with.

2) Getting Out (Mat and Jim)

I love everything about the Captain’s portion of the plot and it’s a nice big portion, too. His scene with Kitty is one of my favorite scenes in the show, brilliantly written, well-acted, and gorgeously shot. I can feel for Mike and Alison in it. Fiona’s another really funny guest character. My only major complaint is that the plot with other ghosts after the Captain’s left the group starts to drag after enough re-watches, particularly Thomas’s bad erotica and the jewel scene. I found both very funny on the first several watches, but the payoff to both is ruined with enough rewatches. With the first, the payoff is with how surprisingly bad for a ‘professional’ writer his story is, but after you’re well aware that Thomas is a bad writer, it’s just listening to bad writing over and over again. And the bit with Fanny’s jewel has such a long lead up, to get to the surprise payoff that the jewel was secretly pawned by George forever ago, but once you know the jewel is gone, the long lead up gets progressively more tedious with every watch. At least for me.

3) Reddy Weddy (Ben and Simon)

I’ve written extensively about this one before, so I won’t include much, but: I love everything having to do with the Captain in this one, particularly the completely wonderful flashbacks with Havers. Mike and Alison were very well done, and I enjoyed Martin as a guest character. But I really didn’t like the whose-turn-is-it-to-pick-the-movie subplot, it just seemed sort of unnecessary to me and detracted from the tone of the rest of it. I assume they just had trouble finding a better integrated role for Pat, Thomas and Julian, which, as I said under Moonah Ston, is an occasional weakness the creators had.

4) Gorilla War (Larry)

I love Cap’s campaign of attrition. And his singing. Everyone had solid, funny bits, all tied into one main plot in it. Mike and Alison are both well done in this episode. It’s the first episode where Alison is able to interact with the ghosts and I think they did a great job capitalizing on her coming to terms with it and Mike’s such a supportive husband in it.  

5) About Last Night (Mat and Jim)

I love the spat between Cap and Pat in this one, because the focus of their subplot is their relationship dynamic and I enjoy their relationship dynamic- even though it’s close to the breaking point in this instance, all is well because they make up in the end. Everything about the state of the house and trying to remember what happened to it-as well as the flashbacks to the party- is pretty funny. The bits with Dante were very funny as well. The Robin-Mary subplot was a bit meh for me, but I didn’t dislike it, I’m just not sold on the idea. I didn’t enjoy Mike being sidelined on the roof for most of the episode when Alison needed his help and all the criticism he got from the other characters for not being around to help Alison, though.

6) Who Do You Think You Are? (Mat and Jim)

This is a really strong introductory episode with some good, funny bits in it, but it doesn’t rank higher since the ghosts can’t interact with Alison yet and Mike and Alison don’t know they’re there, which is where a lot of the fun of the concept of the show comes in to me.

7) Bump in the Night (Larry and Martha)              

The robbers were funny as were the ghosts’ utterly inept attempts (save Robin) in stopping them. I loved music club, particularly the Captain’s performance. I appreciated the return of Barclay and his bitches. Humphrey was actually reasonably included in the plot, which is always a nice change. There weren’t any bits I found particularly outstanding (except maybe Cap’s musical performance) but there weren’t any major bits I disliked, either. Everyone’s included in one main plot and it continues to be just as enjoyable on rewatches.

8) The Thomas Thorne Affair (Mat and Jim)

I greatly enjoy examine-the-story-from-multiple-viewpoints-to-illustrate-unreliable-narration plots, so that went well in this episode. I also really like regency romances, so this ticked another box for me. Humphrey was given an important bit again, which I appreciate. The bit about Francis was a nice twist at the end, because otherwise it would have been a bit too predictable, with Thomas being shot in a duel over a romantic misunderstanding- that was the most obvious solution to his death, after all. It felt a bit contrived, though, that the characters who died after Thomas all went to the group meeting on time, while the characters who witnessed Thomas’s death were all still wandering around upstairs and just happen to wander into Alison’s room in time to contradict the last telling of the story and provide the next. And of course, the fact that half the cast is just sort of sitting downstairs waiting for a significant portion of the episode always seemed a bit lacking to me. Also, Mike starts the episode being unusually stupid (not knowing Elizabeth II is the current queen- at least in the US, not being able to answer who the current President is frequently used as shorthand for ‘having brain damage’) and spends the rest of it being insecure about Alison’s ex (this seems to be a Mat and Jim thing).  

9) Perfect Day (Mat and Jim)

I loved all the Cap bits in this. Pat’s plotline was good, too. Humphrey actually had a substantial role, which I appreciated, and more so since he actually managed to bring Fanny around to the gay wedding. I was of course thrilled that it was a lesbian wedding. But I’m not a fan of ‘miscommunication causes drama’ plots in any medium and I disliked how once again how insecure Mike is in this episode (Mat and Jim again) and how poorly he handles it.

10) Happy Death Day (Ben)

I love all the Pat bits. I liked the interactions between the Captain and Julian, they had a really enjoyable dynamic in this one, although they’re being rather disappointing human beings in their plotline. I like Kitty’s plotline, too, and the garden scene between her and Fanny is very funny and beautifully framed. I don’t think this episode did a particularly good job with either Mike or Alison, though. Mike ditches his probably still concussed wife who is plagued by ghosts to manage the building work he started because he’s spending hours a day out of the house because there are too many people in it and he’s apparently potty-shy and Alison thinks trying to convince people to do probably thousands, if not more, pounds worth of free labor by making them tea is both a plausible idea and an appropriate thing to even try (it’s bad enough when the people asking you to do free work for them are actually your friends, contriving a friendship in order to do this just sort of seems a bit contemptible to me). Some of the jokes get less funny with time- Fanny with the butt cracks, for instance. I considered the Thomas subplot another weak ‘well, something needs to be done with this character’ subplot and I can’t even remember off the top of my head what Mary was doing most of the episode despite having seen it at least a dozen times, besides the bit where Alison throws the teacup at her head (and if I were Terry, I would have called it quits then).  

11) The Ghost of Christmas (Ben and Simon)

Mostly fluff, and a decent amount of it was rather predictable fluff, but I’ve written more on that elsewhere. Mike’s sisters were the worst. I was hoping Ben would write himself a bigger role and he didn’t. In the Bleak Midwinter was gorgeous, though, and there were enough smaller bits that I found endearing to prop it up over the next two.

12) The Grey Lady (Larry and Martha)

I enjoy the ghosts’ routine as shown at the beginning of the episode. I found Pat’s radio show amusing. I liked the basement scene with Nigel. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Captain’s ‘stretching’ subplot (although I do greatly enjoy his  ‘for king and country’ running), it just seemed a bit silly to me, like they couldn’t decide what to do with him for most of the episode, so went with ‘eh, squats, I guess.’ Also, I feel like they had trouble placing Mary and Kitty, too. Mary spends a lot of the episode staring at a wall and Kitty spends all of it just following the group and occasionally wailing about the ‘ghost-ghost.’ Also, I think Alison went a little too far with her simulated haunting when she dressed up as the Grey Lady; it wasn’t smart because there was no way she was going to get away with it after anyone turned on the lights and it seems a bit more like attempting to defraud people than the rest of it did.

13) Free Pass (Mat and Jim)

Alison actively puts people in danger for money, misrepresenting the house as structurally sound in order to get a movie contract, when in fact the floors are held up by hope and happy thoughts and could (and eventually do) cave at any moment. If the floor had fallen through in the letter scene, before Mike braced it, when they were using the heavy equipment, there likely would have been serious injuries. Also: Toby Nightingale is the worst. Also: the solidity and supportive nature of Mike and Alison’s relationship is the best part of it and I dislike the choice (Mat and Jim again) to make him so insecure in this episode (this was the first in the episode order to do so).

To speak on general tendencies, though: I’m not a fan of doing morally questionable things for monetary reasons unless the situation is life or death, so all of the episodes where that’s Alison’s primary purpose get major demerits from me. That’s a matter of personal taste, but there I am. As for the writers (I recognize they all come up with the general story arcs together, but the writing pairs are responsible for execution), everyone struggles a bit sometimes to get solid roles for everyone into the plot, to be expected when the cast is so large, but some instances are worse than others. I think Larry’s (well, Larry/Martha for most of them, but they’ve both joked that mostly she drinks and he writes when they’re working on their episodes) still the strongest writer in terms of having mostly cohesive plots that standup consistently as solid to multiple viewings, but he also has the most experience as a writer, so that’s probably to be expected. Ben and Simon have both stated that they like jig-sawing a bunch of little plots together to make an episode, and while it is a bit impressive that they can make episodes with like, nearly as many plotlines as characters come together to make one reasonably sane episode, I find this strategy detrimental in that to me, when they do this, there’s always one or two plots that are really, really good, a few plots that are pretty good, and then one or two plots that I just don’t enjoy, that to me drag down the rest of the episode (most apparent in Reddy Weddy, but it happens to some degree in all of their episodes). My major criticism of Mat and Jim is with the way they write Mike. I actually really like Mike when he’s well done, but his portrayal seems to vary a lot between episodes, and (with the exception of Ben’s Happy Death Day, but his problems in that one are different) the episodes he’s written the weakest in are all written by Mat and Jim. They’re the only ones who I think write Mike as insecure in his relationship with Alison and his most incompetent and/or useless moments also tend to be written by them. I don’t know if they have a slightly different concept of Mike’s character than the other four or what, but I think Larry/Martha and Ben/Simon’s portrayals of him tend to be significantly more flattering.

[cloveroctobers]

ANNA-JULIA “AJ” (JONES) JARLETT

IG bio/info: @/annajj9x_ | 20.1k followers| Athlete | hey peeps can you stop asking me to throw it back cuz the answer will always be no! K thx take it easy 🏳️‍🌈🌻🏒🐶

21 years old

From bath, England

Hockey player as her profession for the past three years

Her position is defense

Their team name is “rowdy alphas”...yeah some team names just didn’t make sense or they’re cringe for no reason at all

Was raised by her mom,(her mom was a teen mom & had her at 17) maternal grandmother, and her paternal aunt (dad’s younger sister, who’s more like a big sister to her at 28)

They’ve made her into the person she is, literally

Her grandmother has a bed and breakfast that they all live in

the house is Victorian style—almost as if they walked right out of charmed! Instead of a big pink house, think yellow AND purple. It was hideous but homey and charming on the inside

growing up in a house with multiple temporary strangers wasn’t odd to aj at all, in fact it felt like the norm. There was always someone around to socialize with so that was quite nice

Her father was a pro baseball player & passed away due to a automobile accident

she has his smile & freckles

aj was also involved in the accident at the age of 6 & miraculously survived with intense injuries

Has scars as a reminder

used to have night terrors because of the accident...it took awhile—years!!! for them to subside

they’re all vague memories now (but the pain is something she’ll always remember) but she preferred it that way

she’s named “Anna” after her mother’s old best friend/roommate and was supposed to be aj’s god mother but she went missing during their uni years

the name“Julia” came from her paternal grandmother who she gets her wide doe eyes from

her athleticism definitely came from her dad

Her mother luckily liked to document things so there’s a bunch of home videos of her dad in them & pictures/scrapbooks that her mom has for safe keeping

She’s more of a klutz, tiny, and wears huge prescription glasses

extremely close to the three most important ladies in her life, so she’s always been able to be open with them about anything!

when she first expressed her interest in liking both genders around 17-18 her paternal aunt was all smirks, “i knew Britney Spears was so your type, yeah?”

more like shakira but Brit was just as pretty

her mother was a “cry baby” so ofc she burst out into tears squeezing aj’s limbs and peppering her face with kisses. She didn’t view her child as anything different... as she shouldn’t & was glad that her daughter trusted them with this significant moment in her life and wanted to be as supportive as she could

got books, watched Ted talks and everything but knew she could come to the source even tho aj was still figuring it out herself

her grandma dipped her head at the new info sitting at the round kitchen table, “been there. had a few broads in my life after and during my marriage with your no good grandad. Thank goodness the bastard died before you even got to meet ‘em.” “Mum!”

what felt like the biggest weight on her chest was lifted. She knew they’d understand but a part of her had a little bit of doubt, she’s heard so many horror stories where those like her didn’t have the support she has and that made her extremely sad to think about

i see her as a person that has/had many friends in secondary. She’s always open to chat and her being on a few sports teams helped her out in her case

very competitive in anything that she does & will guarantee that she’ll beat you. (“ You wanna race to the car from here?”wins. “Who ever cleans the most dishes the fastest gets the last slice of pie.”) majority of the time she’s right but if she loses?? oh don’t let her lose to you, it’s a pity party for the rest of the time ur in her space. Such a sore loser omg

stays active, always working out + has a gym membership and makes sure she goes at least five times a week

she’s very strong, loves leg day & working on her core

she’s about 5’10

loves wearing “gf jeans” since they’re super comfy but doesn’t mind skinny Jeans with rips in the knees every now and then

trainers and chucks are her go-to sneakers

has no issue shopping in the men’s section ‘cause who’s gonna stop her? Nobody that’s who

owner of over a 100 graphic tees + vertical stripped shirts are also her favs, SWEATPANTS/joggers?! How many does she have? A lot. Snapbacks? Plenty. Will she wear them backwards? Obviously.

Physical touch is her love language. She’s comes from a family that has no issue showing their affection by touch. There is NO such thing as personal space and that still stands with aj when it comes to relationships, she sees no other way

It’s what she shows and what she wants in return, if you’re not touching her in some sort of way, then automatically she thinks there’s something wrong or that she did something

Is the jealous type. It has shown in relationships and ruined a relationship or two

Has cheated on a significant other out of pure jealousy & is not proud to admit that

Does have a wandering eye but feels now that she truly understands herself when it comes to relationships, she’ll never act on it again

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I get libra tendencies from her so that’s what I’m sticking with. She likes to keep the peace (unless she’s jealous) , idealistic — always looking on the bright side of things, outgoing, romantic, and professional— especially when it comes to her team; her true leadership comes out, yet she can be indecisive, hates confrontation, self pitying — if things don’t go perfectly how she imagined/planned it to, the world is ending and everyone is out to get her, and can be unreliable—never on time

September libra to be exact

if she’s really in love/taken a interest in you then she gets nervous: blushing, sweaty palms, cracking her knuckles, tongue tied—the whole 9

she’s already defined as a puppy by her coach but when she’s in love? She’s a lovesick puppy!

her fav holiday is Valentine’s Day

thought she was going to be a pro skateboarder growing up but it took one bad fall where she thought she was paralyzed for her to choose something else

she likes her weed on occasion

Obsessed with all types of cheese except cottage, “can I put cheese on this?”

more of a jumpsuit kinda girl or dressy top with jeans & hoops on a night out

has a solid group of mates outside of the hockey team, they’ve all met and hung out a couple of times, as they should since aj feels they’re going to be stuck with her for awhile so why not?

They’re a riot when they all go out, let’s just say that there’s never a dull moment

fav color is periwinkle

enjoys ASMR, mostly in the mornings when she’s waking up. You know how people love podcasts? (Sorry seb & Nicky, she still wants to be on the show soon!) ASMR is her thing

loves tangerines, you can count on it that she’ll have one on her, “where did you pull that from?” “I’ll never share my master plan.” “You’re such a tit.”

Definitely prefers “fresh squeezed” orange juice & will make her own, she has the tools & the strength 😏

Very rare for her to get sick ;) & if she does she’s a complete baby about it

Will fight that she’s sick before she admits it, trying all sorts of horrid remedies & vitamins

loves summer & all things that come with it, the number one thing is leaving bath for however long she can for a new place to enjoy

when she arrived to love island, she was thrilled for the weather. Yes she was looking for love but most importantly a nice get away & that it was (depending on your route that is lol)

closest with seb, vieve, elladine, and tai but don’t tell the others that! (She doesn’t care if you tell Yasmin, honestly)

just because her & seb “dated” and it didn’t work out doesn’t mean they can’t be friends right? It was almost automatic for them to be platonic after it was determined there would be no romance between them, almost like sibs! like those celebs like to say—except this time these two won’t turn around and actually find romance

vieve came with seb so...but no shade aj did like vieve. She gave great advice (while seb sometimes didn’t say the right things unintentionally or what aj needed to hear) when needed, especially from a medical view and is very sweet

elladine was the one who had all the tea & ideas to match, she’s quite organized and always down for DIY’s and could suggest almost anything. If you needed someone to help you get things tidy or match/find your Aesthetic, she’s the friend you call to help

tai was the one she could be a “bro” with, sure elladine has her competive side (or controlling, depends on how you view it) but tai was the one you can run to for much needed “bro hugs”, partying, going to the pubs, playing sports with or against, checking out/flirting with babes, etc...

it was not long after the villa that aj had a revelation with her sexuality & fully owned and labeled herself as a lesbian

She was happy being in relationship with someone else or with herself, life was short and she was young so there wasn’t time to dwell and stress over things so what the hell?! Live your truth the best way you know how ya know?

probably smells like sweet citrus, almond flower, and sea salt

on chest days, she’s a sweets snacker. Loves gummy bears (also with vodka) , swedish fish, sour patch kids, etc...basically shit that sticks to ur teeth

put all her chips into hockey, while it was advised by her Counselors & mum not to do so, aj went about it anyway. She thought about the pros and cons but knew there was nothing else for her. So there were more pros than cons. She was meant to play sports, its what felt right in her soul

Made her feel connected to her father, when she’s on the field she feels that he is with her

 scrunches up her nose when she’s frustrated or confused about something

Doesn’t always grasp concepts right away, she’s a soft dummy but most of us are and that’s okay! We’re all smart in our own ways

Feels like sunflowers are always around her especially if she sees them wherever she is. They must symbolize SOMETHING, therefore she loves them

spf queen. All about it, get with it or let the sunrays ruin ur skin that’s on u

loves a good filet mignon medium-well & is probably the only good thing she knows how to make alongside a salad, baked potatoes, & her oj

sucker for romantic-comedies...it’s basically her life duh!

If she has a dog, it’s a Dalmatian or Great Dane. She needs a companion that’ll keep up with her

loves kissing, it’s her favorite form of intimacy

Quarantine life included the push up challenge for her. Gaining a few pounds in muscle and fat, bothering seb via ft, viewing old letters she wrote to her dad, spending time with her fav ladies since they were now restricted from having guests in their home, and letting boredom consume her + she hated the whole lockdown that came with it, she hated being indoors for long periods of time but she knew that’s what partly needed to be done

Posts a lot of beach, park, outings with her friends & team, moments with her fav ladies, workout videos, and guests at the b&b with their permission and if only she befriends them along the way. She’s just as active on the socials as she is in rl but she’s not obsessed with it, she knows how to live in the now. She’s all about balance!

I also feel like she never keeps her phone charged and it’s always dying on her! She had a car charger but...that’s a jungle. She needs to invest in a portable charger stat

crushing on/finds attractive: Jared Padalecki, Keanu Reeves, Barrett Doss, Camilla Luddington, Sandra Bullock, Adrian Kempe, Harry Kirton, Anya Taylor-Joy, Haley Lu Richardson, Naomi Osaka, Ming & Aoki Lee Simmons

who does she listen to? Shakira lol!! Bea Miller, Dua Lipa, Daya, XYLØ, Elley Duhé, Stela Cole, Aloe Blacc, Maroon 5, Lewis capaldi, Charlie Puth, girl in red, Hayley kiyoko, king princess, dodie, & tessa violet

Anthem: Icona Pop — we got the world

[hs-devote]

12. U N E X P E C T E D

Moodboard // Content // Masterlist

Disclaimer:

All characters and situation in this story are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is only God knows.

Previous chapter ; Up all night they spent with sex, worshipping each other’s bodies. They didn’t care if their moans or scream being heard all over the house. Their bedroom was very at the end, secluded from other rooms. Every moan Y/N let out that night made his lust getting higher and higher. And he’d always knew they could go for a few rounds later.

12. UNEXPECTED It was a little after seven in the morning when Harry had opened his eyes, the bedroom was still dimmed due to lack of the lighting. The sky was almost bright but the sun hadn't yet risen. The morning was very cold despite the heater was on. His green eyes were now staring at his lover who was still fast asleep in his arms. Her eyes closed with those tapering eyelashes resting softly on her cheeks, and hair was dishevelled from the sexual activity they had been doing all night. The roar of her soft and steady breath like music in his ears. Sound of crickets from outside made the atmosphere calming.

He chuckled in silence remembering they had sex like rabbits last night, felt a little more special since it was his birthday sex and not to forget they both could last for a few rounds and stopped at dawn. It wasn't a lie if he only slept for some hours before woke up. He gulped when Y/N stirred a little in his embrace, she just snuggled deeper on him and still snoring softly. He let his hand slowly rubbed her bare shoulder while humming faintly to keep her asleep since he knew that Y/N was exhausted.

Harry leaned a bit to land a kiss on top of her head before his thumb caressing her face. His girlfriend was cute with mouth slightly open, yet his index finger touched her lips only to made them closed. The longer he stared at her, the more grateful he was to have this girl on his arms. It had been five or six months into the relationship and he had never felt happy before. So far, this was the longest relationship he had ever have – even he and Victoria used to last only less than five months, and Harry was quite surprised by that. He used to be a person who got bored easily in a relationship but somehow when Y/N came into his life, everything seemed to change. To a better one.

The twenty-six-year-old man remembered the first time he met his assistant. He underestimated her back then because she was very young for the position. Over time, Y/N made his judgement change. The woman managed to amaze him despite her relatively young age. She only three years younger than Harry but she was very mature for her age and succeeded to make him see her as a smart young woman. And the admiration gradually made something else grew on him.

The way he asked her to go on date that time was a bold move of him. Very bold. When the words left his mouth, Harry didn't think of that before, slide just like that when he saw her smile and happiness. His feelings were all over the place when Y/N agreed to go on date with him – not expecting his employee to also secretly seem to like him.

Harry shushed her when her eyes squinted in discomfort. Her body shivered with cold since he saw the goosebumps on her skin. Y/N sighed comfortably as Harry pulled the comforter up to cover her neck, her arms wrapped around her boyfriend’s naked torso twitched before sunk into another dream. He kissed her forehead before tightened their cuddles, didn't want to let Y/N felt cold and woke her up from whatever dreams she had.

Their dates had been great. They got to know each other more so they would comfortable to be touchier. Both Harry and Y/N let each other knew they were didn't have anyone at that moment so it was okay to have each other around. Although both of them hadn't put a label on it, they were used to give affections and knew when and where they could do that. They understood very well when agreeing to start this prohibited relationship, the office was the main issue, and they were required to be professional. Of course, Y/N had asked once or twice about a romantic relationship in work, but Harry always convinced her. A bit risky yet it was their challenge.

But, during that time, there was one fear that Harry had kept and it exploded at the worst time ever. He was ready to take the risk of letting her go but no. The woman stayed beside him, and that was made Harry's feeling skyrocketed like crazy. He couldn't define it but clearly, every day she managed to plant the seeds of feelings that were far deeper and more intimate in him. She was the first woman to succeed in making him better, making him feel more worthy and valued, who put her trust in him and would accept him after his dark secret was revealed.

Time rolled by, there was a feeling of fear within him. Afraid of losing. Afraid of feeling bored. Afraid of where the time comes, they would be separated. It all grew with a strange feeling that ran through his body. Dancing, popping in his heart and veins every time he saw or even heard her name, his heart screamed that Y/N was his or wanted to jump out and beat in tune with her heart – shouted to the world that only this woman who made him crazy. Every time they went outside together, his pride ego encouraged him to show her off. He was happy and proud of her.

Harry just spent minutes for only watching Y/N slept and adore her. One thing he knew now, the lady in his arms now made him successfully fall in love and made him feel loved. Yes, he was so in love with her. And those feelings were getting stronger in him.

He smiled while stroking her flush cheek with his knuckles before his closed eyes dragged him into the darkness. . . . .

“Happy birthday, to you. Happy birthday, to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday... Happy birthday, Harry!”

Everyone cheered at the same time as Harry blew his birthday candle. The families gathered together at the backyard, sitting around a long table – feeling the joy upon Harry's special day. Harry didn't know why Anne invite almost the entire family of Styles. He just thought he would celebrate with the family that was staying over, didn't expect the whole of Styles.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Anne mumbled, kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

Harry, being the birthday star, sat on the end of the table while his mother sat on his right. Y/N sat on the left, next to Lucas. At first, Anne didn't want to use chairs and table but considering there were elderly, she finally decided to arrange a long table and chairs. Good thing, the weather was very nice to have party outdoor so the celebration would run smoothly – hopefully.

“Thank you.” He smiled, giving his mother a quick peck on her forehead. “I love you more.”

“Buon compleanno, Harry! Ti amo tanto! Non vedo l'ora di tornare a casa.” Clementia shouted from the screen. Her lips smiled widely as she waved at him. Since Clementia couldn't make it home, Anne decided to 'presenting' her via Skype. That girl was seen sitting on her bed and still wearing her pyjama even though it was two o'clock in the afternoon in Milan.

“Ti amo anche io tesoro. Vieni a casa presto.” Harry cackled, lowered his face so his sister could see his face closer.

While the families wished him happy birthday from their seats, Y/N didn't want to interrupt his time with them. Plus, what she heard from Anne, Harry rarely came home unless it was Christmas or other holidays. She gave up Harry for a while so he could interact with them. At the end of the day, she would have him the most.

“Why I didn't see you at breakfast?” Lucas chirped, his hand brought his cocktail to his mouth. But, his eyes didn't look at the lady next to him.

“I was feeling unwell, and it's cold.” She said shortly.

“Oh, is that why you're wearing a turtle neck at this shiny afternoon?” he shrugged, looking at her with teasing eyes.

“Shiny afternoon but it's bloody 7 degrees right now, Lucas.” She rolled her eyes. Her hand took the closest soda can, fingers pulling the pull tab effortlessly. She let the cold liquid flow into her throat.

“It's not even snowing!”

“But, still..”

“Are you sure? Not to cover the hickeys on your neck?”

His statement made her choke on her soda, her palm abruptly covered her mouth – preventing her from throwing up. Lucas laughed hysterically whilst Y/N wiped her mouth. Actually, she lied to him. She didn't feel unwell. This morning she woke up late at around nine. Last night, Harry wore her out until dawn. She only slept for a few hours before awakened because Harry was kissing her neck, and they had sex again until she fell asleep. It wasn't surprising she woke up just one hour before the party began. Well actually before she exited their bedroom, she was relaxing since her entire body was sore. She even whined on blaming Harry for that. Even now she had to pretend to be okay even though only her legs still felt weak.

Then, thinking about the love bites Harry left all over her neck and shoulders made her shudder at his stamina last night and this morning. She blinked her eyes when Lucas flicked his fingers in front of her eyes.

“Is that.. that great? You're spacing out.” He nudged her shoulder, “If you're wondering. Yes, your voice was heard clearly up to my room.”

“No wonder why Harry looks so happy. He has those sex glow radiates from him, you know?” he added.

“I promise we won't be that loud any more. So, can you shut up already?”

“Okay, everyone. Since Harry doesn't want to say anything.” Anne exclaimed suddenly, her occupied hand with a glass of wine was raised high above her head. “I'll make a toast for the birthday star.”

Everyone smiled while lifting their drink high while Harry could only shake his head. His smile was big with those dimples were on display. His ringed fingers wrapped around his glass, ready to toast for himself.

“This is for Harry who was getting older and mature today. And I am thankful for my son finally came home to celebrate his big day with us.” Anne made a speech, her eyes scanned every single face in there. This was a moment that she would remember forever since they barely would gather together like this.

“Thank you, mum.” Harry mumbled sweetly, “And thank you everyone for being here. And I can't thank you enough for all the love you guys pour for me, for us.”

“Love you, Hawwy!”

All of the Styles family laughed when Lucy yelled out of nowhere, the little girl was sitting on her father's lap. Her chubby hand waved at him from her seat. Harry cackled before returned the favour.

“And on this special occasion, Harry also brought someone special too who never mind being asked for checking on him.” Now, Anne looked at Y/N right in her eyes. The older woman nodded slightly before the warm smile drew on her face, “Thank you for keeping an eye on Harry for me. And thank you for coming home with him. Welcome to the family, Y/N.”

Neither Anne nor Harry knew how delighted she was. It was a big confession to her. This was only the second time Y/N met Anne but the woman had opened the door for her. Just thinking about it almost made her shed a tear.

“Thank you.” Y/N nodded from across the table. There was a feeling that was fell out of her, a weird feeling that often made her insecure.

“Okay. This is for my mum for making this happen. For all of you guys who came here. For me who is gaining another year old.” Harry began, “And for the lovely Y/N who became my mother's spy.”

“For all the love that has been spread.”

Everyone sighed happily to dig into the food in front of them after the toast was finished. The table was filled with lots of food. Believe it or not, Anne was the one who cooked it with some help from Matilda, her maid. Y/N helped her here and there with Mandy, but not too much since when she came down the food was almost ready and Matilda helped her from the beginning. No doubt Anne's cooking was very delicious. When the food was almost gone, Y/N who was talking with Lucas was suddenly taken aback with a plate of sliced cake being offered to her.

“Ahh, I see you enjoy her company, Lucas.” Harry joined the conversation while getting clean cutlery for her. Y/N didn't even know that Harry had cut his cake. It seemed she was too serious talking with his cousin.

“This is for you–”

“I'm touched. Thank you for the cake.” Lucas winked, take the plate that supposed for Y/N. Harry looked so done with him, the way he stared at Lucas told her so.

“It was for my girlfriend.” He scowled, “But, whatever.”

“I didn't know you cut the cake already.” Y/N declared before let Harry fed her with a spoonful of the cake from his plate. He said nothing but ready to give her another spoonful.

While her mouth chewed on her cake, Y/N's eyes scanned every single person around, trying to remember their faces and names. Harry had introduced her to all of his family members before they gather together. Today's weather was quite cold, but the sun was shining strong enough. Quite pretty good for them to gather around. Good thing Anne had a big house and could accommodate all of them.

After Y/N acquainted with his family, she just found out that Harry has a lot of elderly families and niece or nephew. She also noticed that he was close to them. The kids were very fond of him as well as the elders. But Harry seemed to have more attention to pregnant women. He was very careful with Lisa, quite often asking her permission to touch her baby bump. His eyes lighted up when his palm felt his unborn nephew movement. No, she wasn't jealous. Absolutely not. She was glad to see that Harry really cared. It surprised her to see her boyfriend was so amazed by a pregnant lady or baby bump in particular.

Her favourite moment was when they sat together in the family room, with some of them were on the floor since the couch wouldn't fit them all. Harry's families weren't as much as her family, yet they were friendlier and warmer to her. The feeling made Y/N feel she was part of the family. The funny thing was the kids were all over her after the party so Harry only spent some minutes before she had been bouncing playing with his nieces and nephews. He just watched his girlfriend afar absolutely smitten, even the kids' parents teased him about it.

“Little Harry is such a sweetheart! But, of course the boy had his own misbehaviour. I remember when Anne scolded him for getting into a fight but Igor defended him.” Marie, Igor's mother or Harry's grandmother gave Y/N a wry smile when she finally had time to get to know her grandson’s girlfriend better. The kids no longer surrounded; a good sign for Harry since finally he could have her the fullest. Him, Y/N, Anne, and Marie were sitting together in the living room while other family members were busy with their business.

Anne shook her head, “Igor loves Harry so much. No wonder he always defends him no matter what.”

“Why don't you show her Harry's child book, Anne? I'm sure our darling Y/N is curious with little Harry!”

“Marie,” Harry sighed while pinching his bridge nose, “Don't give her an idea.”

“Hey, that's a good idea, Harry.” Anne looked at him, then averted her gaze to Y/N, “I'll grab it. You'll love it.”

“Mum, no, please.” He groaned in defeat when his mother ignored him. Anne just left without caring to look at her son embarrassed face.

“I believe they won't be embarrassing. I saw some of your photos on the wall and all seemed normal.” Y/N shrugged, “Besides, I'm curious about the kid version of you anyway. The most I saw were your teenage photos.”

That was true. There were some of his photos seen on the walls or the table. Most of them were his graduation, holiday or family pictures. None of them was the childhood picture. A moment after, Anne appeared with a big album in her hand. Y/N felt Harry being embarrassed when his mother put the album on her lap. He was leaning back to the couch; half-heartedly accepting his girlfriend would see some embarrassing pictures of him.

Baby Harry had brighter hair back then. His eyes wide staring at the camera with mouth covered in food. Onto the next one, the small boy wasn't afraid when someone put a huge spider in his palm – smiling confidently.

“You weren't afraid back then, were you?” Y/N murmured, eyes stared at Harry who sat next to her cosily. He straightened up a bit before shrugging, “I don't remember whether it was a real one or just a toy.”

Y/N smiled as her hand flipped every single page while Anne pointing each picture and told her about the story. A true what Marie said, little Harry was a sweetheart. He always smiled in almost all the pictures in the album.

“See? No embarrassing photo of you H. If Anne hadn't shown me this, I wouldn't have known that you were so cute when you were little.” She chuckled, her finger tapping at her favourite picture of him. It was a picture of him when he was two years old. He was standing with baggy shirt and diaper with no pant on, his little hands covered in black gloves. His little mouth was sucking a yellow dummy and head was covered with winter hats. Small bike and slides were seen behind him.

“I can't say that if you haven't finished until the last page. It–”

“Oh my God, Harry!”

Harry inhaled loudly, hands rubbed his face when he knew what happened next. His girlfriend was giggling along with his mother when the next page showing a picture that he avoided saying. He was seven or eight that time – he couldn't remember, wearing Anne's bra over his shirt and clenching his fist. His smile was cheeky to the camera.

“My favourite picture on him,” Marie laughed.

“That's embarrassing! Let's move on to the next page, please.” Harry muttered while trying to flip the page but Y/N stopped him.

“That's cute, tho!”

“Whatever. If I knew this would happen at that time, I would refuse to be photographed.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Don't be like that. This is something that you'll tell your kids someday that their father was cheeky from the start.” Marie hummed, “But, I agree with Y/N. That was cute. Maybe one day you should take another shot of you doing the same, Harry. Could be nice memories! You'll have baby Harry and mature Harry shares the same picture.”

“Marie..” . . . .

People started leaving the house when the sun's rays have begun to fade. Harry and Y/N also had to prepare to go to London tonight. Before sending Y/N and Harry to the station, Lucas drove them both around Manchester by Anne's request. Since their arrival was just yesterday, they both didn't have time to do sightseeing around the city.

“Can I get postcards before heading to the station? I want to buy my mum some of them.” Y/N asked with her body leaned a little forward.

“Sure. We can go to the one at the Royal Exchange Theatre.” Harry nodded, “Change the route, butler.” He patted Lucas' shoulder from behind since both of them sat on the back seat. Lucas just nodded, turning the wheel – took the reverse route.

“Of course, your majesty.” He mocked. He then shook his head occasionally when he didn't intend watched them from the rear-view mirror. The pair was all lovey-dovey at the back, made him feel like a third wheel. “I know you guys couldn't get enough of each other since last night but please, respect the single man who's driving right now.”

“I feel bad for your lonely heart, really.” Harry spoke, “Until then, don't be curious if you don't want to feel sad.”

“Hey, I'm always curious since your sex activities bothered my sleep last night.”

“Then find a girlfriend.”

“Not in the mood.”

“Whatever.”

Lucas giggled softly in front of them knowing he always managed to fed up his cousin. He didn't say anything other than cursing if the traffic got on his nerve. Meanwhile, in the back seat, no conversation was heard. Y/N was busy leaning on Harry's chest while playing on her mobile phone while Harry was just playing with her hair.

In his reverie, Harry began to think of what he thought first time in the morning after waking up. He was just adoring her in silence and reminiscing their journey until they were now. Was it too fast for him saying that he fell in love with her?

No word was too fast if it was his heart that chose that.

If he asked himself why was he now in love, he didn't know the answer.

What made him fall in love? So many answers.

The feeling was real but too complicated to describe.

He wasn't aware he got a boner just by thinking about the love for her. Although he was immersed in his reverie, he still gave small kisses and affections to her here and there. He didn't know why he could be clingy like this after thinking of that strange and beautiful feelings in him.

Y/N was the first who notice the tight bulge forming down there. She didn't know what made Harry horny. It was impossible, just stroking hair made his lust went high. Slowly, she brought her mouth close to his ear – didn't want Lucas to hear them because she knew he would tease her boyfriend.

“H, darling.. you've got boner down there.” She whispered softly. Harry blinked before squinting at her, “Pardon?”

“There..”

He frowned before glancing in the direction that she meant. His face heated up immediately after realising it. No way he got a boner for only thinking about what was love for him. Well, the answer was obviously; Y/N.

“This is embarrassing.” He chuckled before grabbing a cushion to hide it.

“Were you thinking of me?” she challenged him, raising her eyebrow. Her voice was still faint yet heard enough by both of them. She intentionally put her hand on the cushion.

“Yes.”

Well, he didn't lie, did he?

“But, not in that way. I – I didn't think something inappropriate of you.” he stuttered.

“Well, you're stuttering.” Y/N teased.

How the hell he stuttered? He told her the truth but why he talked like he hid something.

“Maybe I can help you once we get home.”

Oh man, she couldn't get any better and Harry loved that. . . . . Harry had just finished a teleconference with several companies abroad in his office that afternoon. He was supposed to do a business meeting in New York within this week, but for some reason, he cancelled it. Thinking about the States, he thought it was the right time to expand to America. Of course, after a few offices starting to operate in some big cities in Europe. A feeling of pleasure lingered on him being able to make Erskine develop better. This was Igor's dream to open his company outside the U.K. Erskine was ready to get bigger and so was Harry. Sounded ambitious but this would be an achievement for him for being succeeded to maintain and develop what his stepfather left for his family.

His eyebrows furrowed when he heard a noise from outside. He didn’t usually hear a lot of people. There was also no way there could be so many guests who wanted to meet him since he asked Y/N and Madeleine to limit the guests he would meet every day.

He snapped his head when the door tried to be opened from the outside, of course it wouldn’t be open since he locked it and need an access card to unlock – obviously. He heard a faint sound of Madeleine and.. Bob?

Bob was Erskine's head security. He was the person in charge of security in this building.

What’s wrong with them?

The vibrations of his mobile phone on the desk broke his reverie. He saw that there was one short message from his girlfriend.

Messages– Now ; Sweetheart.

I don’t know what’s wrong but Madeleine and Bob are trying to get these people not to invade your office. I don't know since I can't see who they are. They're blocked by the wall and that huge pots, but I'll try to get out.

Strange. If it was intruder, why the securities couldn't stop them when they were in the lobby?

He thought about whether he needed to open the door; let the person meet him, or keep the door closed?

If there was the worst possibility, as he recalled, he kept a few guns in his bottom drawer – just in case.

Harry sighed before putting down his mobile phone. He pressed the door button next to his office phone and left the door unlocked. He sat quietly in his seat waiting for the door to open. In less than a minute, the door opened. One of them stepped forward and showing his warrant card, spoke words that made him froze.

“Mr Harry Styles. You’re under arrest on suspicion of physical abuse. You do not have to say anything, yet it may harm your defence if you don’t mention when questioned something which you later rely.” . . Please excuse some errors.  Chat me here!

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

The catch (E.D. AU)

Summary: Being a CIA agent and getting tasked with taking down a notorious assassin, Ethan’s life gets a lot more complicated when a web of lies reveals just how clueless he’s been.

Warnings: swearing, sexual innuendos 

Ethan has a complicated life. One would say he chose his life as it is, to keep his job hidden from everyone he loves while being a part of one of the most secretive, successful CIA teams in history. That’s right! He’s an agent with a hundred percent success rate and he’s not shy about flaunting it either. It’s his pride, the ultimate proof of his superiority.

Though he loves his job, it comes with a lot of bad as well. For instance, his success rate means nothing to the world because to the world, Ethan is a businessman with a growing company that requires him to travel a lot. His family believes the lie too, let alone the world. The agency made sure of it.

Agent Doomsday is what the criminals call him. A ghost in the system, an anomaly they can’t trace, almost as if he doesn’t exist outside his job. It’s also the only name they have - to them, Ethan Dolan doesn’t exactly put the fear of death in the bones. Oh, if they only knew.

However, Ethan Dolan certainly had a nice little life outside his duties. Lucky enough to charm the dress of a very ravenous woman, Ethan was happily in love and eager to come home to her unscathed. He could always count on her lips to seal every ache, every wound and while she did ask questions before kissing it better, Ethan wasn’t a top agent for nothing, giving her a believable excuse each time.

On his way to his last briefing meeting, prepared to receive his next target, Ethan picked up his vibrating phone with a gleeful smile.

“Hey there pretty lady.” Playful and romantic as ever, his lips pursed as he awaited the sound of her voice on the other end of the call, missing her after almost a week of not seeing her. Had he not decided to speed things up, he’d still be in the field with his mind in the gutter. He had big plans for their reunion, that much he could promise.

“Handsome! Was that message real or are you teasing me senselessly without a cause?” She bit her lower lip, trying to restrain a wide smile dangerously spreading across her face, hoping her boyfriend truly intended to come home that night and she wouldn’t have to hug his pillow until his lingering scent calmed her enough to fall into a deep slumber.

“I’ll be home in time for dinner. And I plan on being a sinner.” He whispered the last bit, looking around to make sure no one heard his flirtation though he wouldn’t really mind it. His girl is gorgeous and he didn’t care what people thought about them or how he chose to talk to her after yet another successful mission that really made him horny as hell. The adrenaline rush still didn’t stop raging through his body and he was itching to release it all in bed, to have her quake under his touch and scream with every thrust. But he didn’t want her involved with the agency, so he hid his happiness as much as he could. For her safety. It was always for her. If it were up to him, he’d flaunt her just as much as his supremacy in the agency.

“I’m counting on that.” She chuckled. “I’ll make your favorite.” And that’s when he chuckled.

“Well, I’m counting on that! I just gotta get through this meeting and I’ll be home before you know it.” And while it was hard, both parties put their phones down and got to work - Y/N with cooking among other things and Ethan with the meeting where he got a chance to flaunt like a peacock.

“Agent, we have a new target prepared for you.”

“Already?” Ethan raised an eyebrow, wondering why he can’t get a damn week to spoil his girl rotten. She definitely deserves it.

“I’m afraid it’s of utmost importance. A group of assassins we’ve been investigating finally slipped up. We caught one out of 3 and we have some information.” Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, Ethan tapped his chin with the tip of his index finger as he imagined this scum. An ugly, middle aged man with buck teeth and beady eyes. That’s what he saw in his mind.

“The deadliest of all, Blackbird, is stationed in our city and we need you to take this assassin down. We know an alias, but it’s up to you to track them down and get the job done before we have more dead on our hands.” Slipping the folder in front of Ethan, his boss adds:“Good luck agent.”

As the doorbell rings, Y/N was quick to run to the door, opening it with elation and she didn’t wait for Ethan to enter before throwing herself at him, her arms firmly around him as he tries to steady himself. His suit would wrinkle, but she didn’t care.

“Whoa! You really missed me, didn’t you?” A nervous chuckle escapes him as he hold her waist and picks her up gently, keeping her close, closer than he could in his dreams and imagination.

“I’d say you feel the same.” She smirked, pulling back to press her forehead against his, not rebelling when he puts her feet back on the ground but his hands remain at her sides.

A heavy sigh escapes him, his eyes closed as she opens her own, looking up at him with worry etched onto her face. “Tired?” She questions, her voice small and sweet, enveloping him in a comforting haze he could never have enough of.

“Very.” Ethan mumbles, leaning down to peck her lips lightly before walking toward the dining room, the smell of his favorite food making him hypersalivate. Glancing back at her over his shoulder, Ethan feels his heart pick up pace.

“You look beautiful and this smells…amazing.” Pulling out her chair, Ethan seats his wonderful girlfriend before sitting himself, but not before sending her a quick smile.

Clearing his throat, he dug into his food, wondering how his next mission will go for he never had more to lose than in this particular moment where everything was so perfect, his life peaceful and in harmony.

“Did something happen?” Y/N speaks up, breaking the veil of silence that befell them, unsure what to say or do ti make the weight on his shoulders just a little lighter.

“No. It’s fine. Just had a long week of missing you.” Smooth. Charming. That’s what she loves about him. He’s always been a perfect gentleman but very vague about his job. And it didn’t bother her before, but unless he had unexplained bruises or wounds he usually blamed boxing or gym training with hiw twin brother. She liked giving him the benefit of doubt, but his excuses weren’t as believable as he wanted them to be.

She wanted to try and talk to him, to get the truth for once in their relationship, but her cellphone rang and she decided to try after she has him unraveled in her bed.

“It could be work. I’ll be just a second.” Excusing herself, Y/N left Ethan alone with his thoughts - possibly the worst thing she could do to a man who is facing a dilemma of a lifetime. Questioning what’s right and what’s not, looking for meaning and clues on what he should do and to what extent had left him sick to his stomach even next to the very tasty meal Y/N prepared for him.

“You were quick.” Ethan speaks up as Y/N comes back to the table, her eyes set on her food as she remained motionless. Staring silently, her lips parted ever so slightly, Y/N wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Ethan’s attempt to spark up conversation had caused her to look up at him, her gaze fixed on him like he’s the only thing that matters in the world.

“I was thinking about how you’ll die.” She stated plainly, her voice light and sweet as ever but her yes are cold and unforgiving.

“Oh? That’s an odd thing to think about.” Ethan swallowed thickly, praying not to choke on his own spit as he stared back at the woman he loved dearly.

“Is it? You never think about death? How it will stop your heart when you least expect it? Or how that happens to other people with or without your interference? Or do you think about my death?” She all but snarled the last but, her left hand resting on the table as the right one remained under, hidden from sight.

“You know.” Ethan breaths out, his eyes widening as he took notice of her death glare and even more so of the loss of innocence she had about her.

“That you’re an agent tasked to kill me? Yeah, no shit!” She raised her voice slightly, her heart beating out her chest, trying to break the bony confines.

“And you’re an assassin tasked with killing me.” Ethan leans back, raising his left eyebrow as he smirks. “Guess we both lied.”

“Were you about to slit my throat during sex? In the bed we bought together?” She narrows her eyes at him, her lips set in a scowl as Ethan snickers.

“Seriously? I literally just found out you’re a fucking murderer and you’re accusing me of being the one that’s plotting your demise? How were you going to do it?” Y/N’s lips twitch as she glances down at the dinner Ethan half finished, smirking once he realizes what she’s insinuating.

“You wouldn’t.” He says quietly in disbelief, voice just above a whisper and her smirk grows into a smile.

“Are you sure about that? Agent Doomsday?” Quirking an eyebrow, she stood up, revealing her hidden left hand and the gun she held so tightly, as tightly as she held on for her life. One she wasn’t ready to quit just yet.

“I will allow you to go to the hospital and get your stomach pumped and I expect you not to come looking for me. That’s a one time offer. The next time I see you, you might find out why I’m the deadliest assassin of the decade.”

Slipping out the back, Y/N ran for her life, very much aware the story isn’t finished yet and Ethan wouldn’t give up until she’s two feet under. And despite her better judgement, she sent him a letter the same night before skipping town and laying low until she forms a proper plan. A letter she knew would make him want to play.

When Ethan came home with his stomach pumped for no reason because after the food went through extensive toxicology testing, it came back clean, he was pissed and heartbroken, angry and hurt. But when he found the letter, the paper scented with her perfume, he found himself in the game of a lifetime.

“Catch me if you can.”

PART 2

Tags: @beinscorpio​ @godlydolans​ @dolanstwintuesday​ @ethanhes​ @peacedolantwins​ @heyits-claire​ @dolandolll​

[ladyirontiger]

LIT LEGACY RULES

LADYIRONTIGER (LIT) LEGACY

Here's my take on the old legacy challenge found here.

BASIC RULES:

Lifespan: normal

Money: cheats are allowed, I guess, but that does take some of the fun out of it. Generations can leave inheritances for the heirs not to exceed 10k.

Housing: sims can move from one generation to the next, but not during the generation. i.e. gen 1 must live in ONE place only; however, gen 2 can move out and then live in one place only.

Colors: are just listed to help me keep the generations straight during gameplay. You don’t have to use them.

Traits: Are just suggestions; however, the heir must inherit ONE trait from the previous generation.

SUCCESSION RULES:

Gender Law: MATRIARCHY - The Founder must be female. Only girls are eligible to be named heir unless there are no female children, at which point boys become eligible for that generation.

Bloodline Law: STRICT TRADITIONAL - To be eligible to be named heir, a child must be naturally born from their previous-generation parents and be able to trace an unbroken bloodline back to the founder. Adopted children may never be named heir.

Heir Law: LIVING WILL - The eligible child with the highest friendly relationship score with their previous-generation’s parent will be named heir. If there’s a tie, preference goes to THE FIRST BORN.

Species Law: TOLERANT - The species of the child has no impact on their eligibility for heir status

Gen 1: The Old Soul (yellow)

It’s almost as if you were born in the wrong era. You do everything the old-fashioned way, down to the way you “court” not date, and the way you dress. You’re naturally nurturing, and energetic. You’d do anything for your family. You’re the perfect matriarch, no matter what year it is.

Traits: dog lover, creative, active

Aspiration: Lord/Lady of the Knits

Career: Stay at Home Parent/Plopsy Seller

Rules:

Live anywhere except the city

Have a dog. Teach it 3 tricks. Become its companion

Have 2 children. Become good friends with both

Have one partner only. Do not have romance with anyone else.

Master Gourmet Cooking (reach level 10) and Pet Training skills (reach level 5)

Gen 2: The Homesteading YouTuber (purple)

Your parents provided everything you could ever want, and you’re so grateful. You’re going to pay it forward to make the world you live in a better place for yourself and your own children. You’re documenting your eco adventures for posterity and to increase the reach your message of sustainability.

Traits: active, maker, music lover

Aspiration: Eco Innovator

Career: Social Media Internet Personality

Rules:

Graduate from university. Do not live on campus

Have 2 children

Become a 5-star celebrity

Live in a tiny home, or in Evergreen Harbor, or both (a tiny home in Evergreen Harbor)

Master the violin and photography skill (reach level 10)

­Gen 3: The Moody Musician (blue)

Living in the shadow of a perfect parent, and constantly being hounded by paparazzi wasn’t easy growing up. It left you with a profound distrust of people. The one thing your parent did give you, which you’re grateful for, is a passion for music. You’re determined to make your own way in the world, away from the cameras, and share your passion with aspiring young minds. While you love teaching, and you’re unswervingly dedicated to your craft, you lack the flair for parenting that your mother and grandmother had. Though you try your best.

Traits: music lover, loner, hot headed

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Career: Education Professor

Rules:

Live in the city

Leave someone at the alter. Never marry.

Have only one child

Write a book

Master 2 instruments (reach level 10)

Gen 4: The Adventurer (green)

While your music-loving parent is in their own head, all you can dream of is getting out, being in nature, under the stars, and having a big, loving family. You want your children to feel connected to the outdoors the way you do, and the way your grandmother did.

Traits: hot headed, loves outdoors, outgoing

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast

Career: Conservationist

Rules

Have three children

Mentor all children in fitness

Go camping as a family

Go to the beach as a family

Master the fitness and comedy skills (level 10)

Become good friends with grandchild heir

Gen 5: The Good Wife (red)

It’s hard for you to commit to relationships because you’re so focused on your career. Having a big family was nice and all, but having to share resources and fight for attention isn’t something you want to ever relive. You’re the star of your own show both in your romantic relationships and in the courtroom. That means there just isn’t room for your children to be more than props in your life. They’ll live.

Traits: outgoing, noncommittal, romantic

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Career: Law Judge

Rules

Go to University. Do not live on campus.

Have at least 2 failed relationships before marrying

Have 2 children by 2 different partners. Be disliked by both children

Master the debate & charisma skills (level 10)

Gen 6: The Spy Mom (black)

With a mom seemingly married to justice, who had no time for you, it was easy to get away with sneaking around, and little swipes here and there. You honed your skills for manipulation and deception, and now you’re putting them to good use. You still want to have a family, but keeping your job a secret for their safety inevitably causes an irreparable rift between you and your children.

Traits: romantic, kleptomaniac, family oriented

Aspiration: Soulmate

Career: Secret Agent Diamond Agent

Rules

Become best friends with grandparent (heir from gen 5)

Marry a good sim, then divorce

Have at least 2 children, be disliked by one of them.Master logic skill (level 10)Mentor children in logic

Gen 7: The Bake Sale Mom (pink)

Finding out your mother is a secret agent is bound to make an impact, and on you it certainly has. All you want is a “normal” life, and a big, loving family. You love baking, and feeding your loved ones brings you great joy. You turn your passion into a business, and you get your family to be part of it all. Money might be tight at times, and things aren’t always easy, but you’re doing it together. That’s what matters.

Traits: family oriented, foodie, perfectionist

Aspiration: Big Happy Family

Career: Chef

Rules

Master the baking and parenting skills (level 10)

Have 5 children and be close friends with all of them

Own a retail store or restaurant

Have a weekly family dinner with all extended family still living

Gen 8: The Silicon Valley Mom (white/beige)

Gaming takes you to another world. Not that this one is bad or anything, but you enjoy being a hero, and the stories about your grandmother the spy fuel your desire for (safer) adventures. Unfortunately for your children, you have unrealistic expectations of them, and hold them to impossibly high standards.

Traits: perfectionist, geek, ambitious

Aspiration: Computer Whiz

Career: Tech Guru eSports Gamer

Rules:

Master programming and video gaming skill (reach level 10)

Have two children be geniuses, get honor roll, and max out 2 skills

Have a weekly bowling night with family

Gen 9: The Orange County Mom (peach/orange)

You’ve grown accustomed to a certain standard of living, and you’re much too smart and good looking to let it go to waste. You’re goal is to become fabulously wealthy by any means necessary. Being a bawse isn’t always easy, so you take every opportunity to relax with some yoga or a spa outing. As nice as it would be to have your children join the family business, it’s a dangerous game.

Traits: ambitious, materialistic, snob

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy

Career: Criminal Boss or NONE

Rules:

Have three “frenemies” of the same gender who are also snobs

Marry a sim for money not for love

Master the wellness and handiness skill (level 10)

Mentor a child in handiness.

Gen 10: The Flower Child (teal)

You can’t be tied down by the man, but you don’t want to turn to a life of crime like your mother. You’re level-headed, and you know what you want out of life: fun and freedom. Some might say your job is frivolous, but your family has a history of being at one with nature, and being popular. You want to marry for love like your great, great…grandmother. You just want to be…excellent.

Traits: snob, self-assured, cheerful

Aspiration: Party Animal

Career: Gardener

Rules:

Master flower arranging, singing, and mixology

Have one child of your own, and adopt one

Have a cat

Marry someone you adore

Write your memoir

Write your family’s history

[tabloidtoc]

Life & Style, January 18

You can now buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Uber Drivers Tell All 

Page 1: Photo Flash -- John Legend celebrated his birthday aboard a private yacht in St. Barts where he slid down the craft’s waterslide 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 4: The Top 10 Champagne Looks -- Joey King, Saoirse Ronan, Eiza Gonzalez, Gillian Anderson, Leona Lewis 

Page 5: Heidi Klum, Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Scarlett Johansson 

Page 6: Kelly Clarkson’s daytime talk show tied with Ellen DeGeneres’ long-running series in the year-end TV ratings battle -- The Ellen DeGeneres Show lost advertisers and A-listers and audiences after former staffers came forward with stories of a toxic workplace while The Kelly Clarkson Show which was recently renewed through 2023 has become a household staple in its sophomore season and gaining viewers in daytime’s key demographic of women and ending 2020 on a season high -- Ellen is putting on a good front but deep down she feels threatened by Kelly’s success and she’s done everything she can to prove that she’s changed but she still can’t win back her fans plus Ellen is convinced that Kelly is trying to steal her famous friends even going so far as to demand that if a celebrity agrees to appear on Ellen then they can’t go on Kelly; it’s one or the other from here on out 

Page 7: Rihanna and A$AP Rocky celebrated their first Christmas together in her native Barbados where the couple went on a sunset cruise around the Caribbean isle with her loved ones -- Christmas is a really important time for Rihanna and it’s not often that she gets to see her family and friends all at once and she wanted A$AP to be a part of it -- he was a bit nervous meeting everyone but he was worrying over nothing because they all adore him -- she’s really close with her family so it was important for him to get to know them before things begin to get serious

* Throwback -- Billie Eilish 

* Biggest Spenders of the Week -- French Montana, Sean “Diddy” Combs, Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, Gal Gadot, Katie Holmes 

Page 8: Critics slammed Demi Moore’s new movie Songbird calling it a Michael Bay-produced travesty that exploits the coronavirus epidemic for thrills -- the film takes place in the not-so-distant future during a COVID-23 outbreak with Demi playing a wealthy woman who sells immunity bands on the black market for a hefty price -- Demi jumped at the chance to star in the movie; with its topical storyline she expected it to be a box-office hit and she’s disappointed that it’s flopped and is shocked at the backlash and she certainly never intended to hurt anyone’s feelings 

* Hilaria Baldwin proudly showed off her post-baby body posting a photo of herself holding 3-month-old son Eduardo while wearing nothing but her bra and underwear but instead of being praised for her postpartum pic she was inundated with cruel comments after Amy Schumer reported the snap seemingly roasting Hilaria for setting unrealistic standards for new moms -- while the comedian soon apologized and deleted the image it wasn’t long before she replaced it with several other shots and making fun of the controversy -- there’s a fine line between being funny and being cruel and Amy overstepped the mark in Hilaria’s eyes

Page 10: The Week in Photos -- Kacey Musgraves visits Oscar the Grouch and Sesame Street 

Page 11: Gwen Stefani on The Kelly Clarkson Show 

Page 12: Animal Instinct -- Oliver Hudson plants a smooch on a goat, Mayim Bialik with her new co-star Monty the cat from her show Call Me Kat, Padma Lakshmi cuddling on the couch with her dog Ms. Divina 

Page 13: Jerry O’Connell got a slobbery kiss from his dog Phil in L.A. 

Page 16: Stars Behaving Badly -- Selma Blair topless in a impromptu shoot off the highway in Palm Springs, Sean Lennon pretended to attack a replica of the Empire State Building during a lighting ceremony in NYC, Jameela Jamil and Jason Mantzoukas let their middle fingers fly 

Page 18: Say What?! Miley Cyrus on being single during the pandemic, Dolly Parton on her fashion and beauty credo, Kristin Chenoweth on starring in Holidate with 5-foot-2 Emma Roberts, Keke Palmer joking about her skin issues, Jason Momoa who’s been wed to Lisa Bonet since 2017 

Page 20: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez planned to tie the knot in Italy but after being forced to postpone their nuptials twice since the pandemic struck Alex has gotten a case of cold feet -- the pressure of a huge wedding was very overwhelming and in the end Alex decided it wasn’t necessary anymore -- J.Lo also hinted as much saying they’ve talked about canceling the destination wedding altogether because at their ages and they’ve both been married before should they get married or not -- the very next day Jennifer was pictured without her engagement ring sparking speculation that the couple had already reached a decision that they would no longer be walking down the aisle and Jennifer’s heartbroken because she wanted a big splashy wedding since this was going to be her fourth and final trip to the altar

Page 21: Courteney Cox was recently reunited with boyfriend Johnny McDaid after spending nine months apart due to the COVID-19 crisis but the long-awaited meetup in Ireland was far from romantic -- this was a make-or-break trip to either figure things out or go their separate ways and shortly after arriving Courteney laid all her cards on the table and she made it clear to Johnny that in order to move forward things had to change -- with her living in LA and Johnny based in Ireland the time difference is a real problem and FaceTime calls are few and far between and texts go unreturned for hours or sometimes not at all and it’s a daily struggle and Courteney’s at the end of her rope 

Page 22: Cover Story -- Uber drivers tell all -- the scoop on celebrities’ best and worst moments as rideshare passengers -- Brooke Shields’ boozy cruise, Tom Selleck requires a quiet car 

Page 23: Justin Bieber threw a party on wheels, blind items

Page 24: George Clooney uses a pseudonym, Kylie Jenner was 2 hours late for her ride

Page 25: Cash-carrying Prince Harry is a huge tipper, Tom Cruise is not a cool customer, Jennifer Lawrence makes the back seat her bed 

Page 26: Lori Loughlin breaks her silence -- after completing a two-month prison sentence for her role in the infamous college admissions cheating scandal Lori emerges to find her life and family in pieces -- Lori wants to move forward as a family in a positive direction but her daughters have so many walls up now

Page 28: The Bachelorette’s Clare Crawley and Tayshia Adams: Two dream weddings -- with a wild ride of a season behind them leading ladies Clare and Tayshia are happily planning their respective nuptials 

Page 30: The truth about Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson’s engagement -- Khloe’s new ring from Tristan sparks wedding speculation -- Tristan swears he’ll never ever stray again and Khloe is desperate to make their relationship work because she loves the little family they’ve created 

Page 32: Who Lives Here? Kathy Griffin 

Page 36: Fashion -- shop these haute hues -- Pantone’s 2021 Colors of the Year are Ultimate Grey and Illuminating Yellow, making them musts for every fashionista’s wardrobe 

Page 40: Diva or Down-to-Earth? John Legend grabs groceries -- down-to-earth, Heather Locklear pumps her own gas -- down-to-earth

Page 41: Gal Gadot assembles a glam squad -- diva, Zac Efron cuts his friend’s hair -- down-to-earth 

Page 42: Social Stars Posts of the Week -- Angela Kinsey and her dogs, Kim Kardashian and longtime pal La La Anthony, Laura Prepon building a snowman, Kevin Jonas and wife Danielle 

Page 44: Horoscope -- Capricorn Zooey Deschanel turned 41 on January 17

* They’re Not Together, But They Should Be -- Aries Jennifer Garner and Aquarius Justin Hartley 

Page 46: Made Ya Look! Emily Blunt strikes a stylish pose 

Page 48: What I’m Into -- Jonathan Van Ness  

[dxnnyboi]

⌠ DARREN BARNET, 24, MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, DANIEL ‘DANNY’ ISHIDA ! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in LINGUISTICS, CULTURE & ASSIMILATION + COVERT OPERATIONS; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a white, perfectly charming, crooked smile; finger guns across the hallway; loose laces in his shoes). when it’s the (taurus)’s birthday on 5/17/1995, they always request their FRENCH TOAST from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

BIOGRAPHY

He was born right outside of Boston amongst big houses, expensive cars and fine jewelry.

The youngest of the Ishida boys. There’s four of them.

He’s the not-so-happy accident in his family, which isn’t exactly a secret and it’s clear on plain sight, when you find out his siblings are 12, 13 and 15 years older than him, so there wasn’t much relationship with them, nor her parents. Danny has always been the neglected boy in the family. He’s tried to impress them many times, but at some point he simply gave up.

That did not mean he didn’t get anything material. It was the way his parents would compensate for the lack of attention and amusement. Danny had everything every young kid would’ve dreamed of. He got his first Mercedes Benz at the age of sixteen (crashed it merely three days later only to get a replacement after a week long punishment of driving a simple Ford).

Let’s get a little bit into his family. His father was always busy, if you could call drinking, gambling and doing drugs such thing. That’s on the surface, what everybody knows of Mr. Ishida. What not many people know, and he would like to keep that way, is that the Ishida family are the head of a mob organization with ties to drug cartels and prostitution rinks. Just. Very illegal stuff.

Mom... Mom just likes to take antidepressants with a bottle of champagne in very expensive silk robes.

Danny has known of the family business since he was old enough to comprehend the things he could and could not say, but before that, Danny basically grew up alone. Raised himself with the very few examples he saw in his life, which surprise, weren’t exactly the best, but he learned to be sympathetic too. Most of his life lessons though, came from movies. And he was a fan fo romantic comedies. 

Fast forward to him being seventeen and in high school. His father had been recruiting new girls, and he wanted Danny to learn. Sure, he was kind of neglected, but every now and then daddy felt merciful of his youngest son and wanted to give him a sense that they had some sort of bonding.

Dad said not to talk to any of the girls. Just fix their documents, since most of them were illegal, don’t ask names, or lives, but there goes sympathetic Danny, ready to disobey his father. 

Long story short, he fell for a girl named Lucia. She was the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and even though he was quite the ladies man in school, she was his first time, his first love, his first anything. It was all a secret, of course. His father could not find out, but of course he did. 

Danny was in the midst of a heated make out session with Lucia when his oldest brother saw them, and went and told Mr. Ishida about it. 

Long story short again... Lucia did not make it, which Danny did not take well, but he had to hold it all back, or things would not have ended well for him either. And ever since, Danny has been trying to find a way to get back at him for it. 

Just like the rest of his brothers, Danny had an automatic pass into Yale. He hated it, but he convinced himself this would be the end of it. That he would get a good major, a good career, a good job somewhere far far away from his family and that the nightmare would be over. 

But it wasn’t. His father’s plans for him weren’t over, and since he was the one with the least interest in following the family business, Mr. Ishida sent his youngest son to a place where he would learn how to do things on the low, to be secretive and lethal all at the same time and what a better place than Blackthorne. 

Danny almost rebelled and escaped, but upon thinking about it a couple times, he realized it could play against his father too. He would learn everything he needs to learn, be the best secret weapon as he can be and eventually shoot his shot, end with this fucking bullshit life they had. 

PERSONALITY

Despite the internal angst in Danny’s life.... his personality is far from what could expected. He’s not broody or dark. He’s more of a fuckboy with a warm smile and a wit word to charm as many as he can. Or annoy the fuck out of them. He’ll find enjoyment in both. This gif is literally the most Danny thing you will ever see. 

Selfie enthusiast. Bonus points if they happen at the gym. Definitely self absorbed. 

He loves movies, loves books, and will quote them every now and then.

He’s really smart. Borderline brilliant. School comes really easy to him as well as other sort of activities. He doesn’t brag about it, but he’s quite proud of his intelligence, because high key, his parents never really mention it. So if someone has to hype him up, it better be himself.

He speaks English, Japanese, French, German, Spanish, some Korean and is trying to learn Italian, simply because it’s hot.

He’s a sensitive child. He will cry with good songs, and some animal videos on Facebook and TikTok. He won’t deny it. He’s very proud of his emotions but will be a dick about it every damn time, and call himself a damn good person, as if.

He’s a party boy. Usually organizing them, bringing in the party goods and favors. What are his father’s connections for anyway?

On that matter, he ain’t a drug dealer and would never call himself that. He does like to share his own stuff, though. But won’t sell. Anything else illegal? Fake IDs? He’s your guy.

He always gets what he wants so he falls on the manipulative side. He will fake being your best friend, will fake having a crush, will do it all just to get what he wants.

He can be a pretty good boy too, though. Sensitive, attentive, loyal, responsible (for the most part) but be sure to always question his intentions.

POSSIBLE CONNECTION IDEAS?

Fuck boy calls for hook ups, friends with benefits, and one night stands. Give me some. Unlimited amount. 

Sum fucks he could have had in Blackthorne too. Where my queer boys at.

Exes? He kind of runs away from actual love and opening up, but I could see him trying to be a little bit serious. Of course it did not work. Could be him breaking your child’s heart or the other way around. 

Besties. He’s the bro kind of guy. Loves his friends a lot. Extremely loyal. Would lie, fight and kill for them. 

Someone who’s actually had eyes on the Ishida family. This is a school of spies, some families are in the government or agencies who could already be trying to dismantle the whole organization. 

Enemies. Just people who can’t stand him. 

Crushes?

Old friends who had a fall out after something?

Former roommates who hated him. He’s annoying, messy and is always shirtless and working out. Could have liked him too tbh.

I suck. Give me anything pls.

@gallagherintro​

[sidecharacter965]

~Ruby Chandelle~

~The basics~

“I like capes!”

Name: Ruby Chandelle Kanji: ルービーションデル Age: 17 Birthday: 20th June (Gemini) Year: 2nd Year at Night Raven College Dorm: Pomfiore Species: Human Gender: Female Sexuality: Questioning, she kinda stays away from romantic relationships anyway

~Appearance~ “Hey hey! Look, I can do this spell!”

Height: 162cm, 5’3 Hair colour: Chocolate brown, worn in a low side bunch tied together with a red or purple ribbon Eye colour: Purple Skin Tone: Pale Piercings or tattoos: None Uniform: The Pomfiorre female uniform, blazer unbuttoned, a loose bow tie, knee length black socks and ankle length school boots.

~Personality~ “Why does everyone care so much about who you like? I have no idea who I am, let alone who I like!”

Positive Traits: Quick learner, free spirited, adaptable, energetic Negative Traits: Annoying, mischievous, sneaky, impulsive, attention-seeking

Ruby is one of the troublemakers of the school along with the ranks of Kalim, Ace and Lilia. She possesses the natural inclination to potions that most Pomfiore students possess, but prefers hexing over everything else. As a result, every Pomfiore student now has to check their products twice to make sure they haven’t been swapped or hexed. If Ruby respects the student, the hexing will only go so far. She doesn't want anyone she likes to think she’s a complete gremlin. Unfortunately for everyone else, there’s no telling how far she’ll go if she can get a good reaction out of them.

Backstory and relationships under the cut!

~Background~

“Hey! I’m not all bad! It was one hex after all!”

As a child, Ruby was raised by her helicopter noble parents. They made all of the decisions for her, and raised her to be “A well-rounded member of society”. Ruby didn’t like this at all, and would often find sneaky ways to defy her parents and their strict rules. Don’t like the dress? Don’t wear it until mother makes you, and then spill something on it!  Ruby’s ability to defy rules and work her way around them became an integral part of her personality, something she could do with little effort or thinking.

 Because Ruby was raised to be a “lady”, she had to sit inside and practice “feminene crafts” and “Proper manners”. Her stitches were huge and wonky, she always dropped her knitting needles. And not to mention she always put her elbows on the table. One day, Ruby’s tutor brought in a book about magic history in the hopes that she would take to it in one last ditch effort to actually teach her something. Absolutely loving it, she asked for more magic lessons. Unfortunately for Ruby, that meant “Bye bye Miss Tutor” whom she had just started warming up to. Her parents made rigorous plans to help get her into Night Raven College, the prestigious magic school. Ruby was very suspicious when her parents started helping her to get into the school, because they had always raised her with the intention that she would marry into a powerful family, minimal spells required. When she asked them about it, they would always reply with: “Never mind that, dear. Just focus on the spell.”

 Ruby was sorted into the Pomfiore dorm, along with Rook Hunt, a boy in her year who would become one of her favourite victims for hexes. As expected from a Pomfiore student, she had a natural skill for potions. Her best subject however, was magic history. (It was the first thing taught to her by her magic tutor) Ruby couldn’t care less about physical activity or riding on a broom. (But the idea of flying still seemed pretty cool to her... But I didn’t say that!) So her worst grades aren't even things she’s bad at. They’re just things she doesn't put in the effort for because she doesn’t care.

 Her fellow students see her as a mischievous student that you shouldn’t mess with. She does have a sort of moral code which sees her lightening the mood for anyone in any stressful situation. Ruby’s peak prank times are during exam time because of this. She has a wide knowledge of magic and her fellow students know this. Sometimes, they wonder if there's much more to her than she's letting on.

~Relationships~

~Family~

Mother: Ruby isn’t on the best terms with her mother but is thankful yet suspicious for her support in pursuing a career in magic. Ruby finds her compliance with her father annoying and wishes her mother would state her own opinions more often.

Father: Hate is too strong a word for how she feels about her father, but it’s not far from it. Ruby Is suspicious about his intentions for why he supports her “decision” to enroll in NRC.

~Dorm mates~

Vil: Ruby’s an annoyance to Vil. I mean, how can she not resist swapping out a few potions here and there? Her favourite ones to swap out are the hair products. Especially the hair dye. Poor Vil was sporting green locks for a good three days before he found a counterspell. He didn’t even attend school during that time.

Rook: Her most tormented victim. However, it never goes further than making his arrows miss the target or cursing him with a frizzy bedhead. They both have a kind of respect for each other. Besides, Ruby knows that Rook could never get angry at her “Pretty face”.

Epel: Ruby finds Epel a bit boring to play pranks on. He doesn’t outwardly react a lot of the time so she just stopped pranking him. She respects him for being calm and composed, unlike her impulsive self. There may be a little jealousy because of that.

~Friends~

Kalim: Ruby easily gets along with this happy-go-lucky student. They both like to have fun and Kalim causes chaos no matter if he means to or not. Also the rich parents- If it involves Ruby, it’s definitely intentional. She wonders how Kalim is able to create chaos no matter what he does.

Lilia: They’re both powerful in their own right and don’t really bother using their magic seriously. Lilia’s clever sense of humor and wit appeals to her. Prank buddies. And short people club

Ace: Kalim, Lilia and Ruby kind of brought him into the group. They always invite him to help prank students and are more than happy to help him plot more pranks against Riddle and Vil study. They “Recruited” him into the squad when he was bold enough to laugh after they put a hex on Riddle’s tarts. (They sprouted little legs and ran away)

Rook: Again, one of her most tormented victims. The two are more like frenemies, but they really respect each other deep down. Ruby just really needs to control her impulse to hex the arrows. Just one more time… It’ll be the last one. Honest. 

Floyd: Same year, laidback individuals just looking for some fun. They met when the Leech brothers appeared to her in the hopes that they could rope her into a contract with Azul. Ruby refused and they left her. Later that day, they had a potions class together and got to pick their partners. Floyd made a beeline for her- asking if she still didn’t want to sign the contract- as a joke. One thing led to another and they became joke buddies. They don’t hang out as much due to their different schedules, but they always crack some kind of inside joke when they pass each other in the halls.

~Enemies~

Riddle: It was one hex. One hex for crying out loud. Now, Ruby’s permanently uninvited from any and all tea parties in Heartslabyul. What did she do? She hexed Riddles (Famous) tarts so they would sprout tiny legs and run away from the tea party. Ruby still owes Trey BIG TIME for getting her out of that mess.

Vil: Well it’s no surprise that Ruby gets on the perfectionist’s nerves. She’s lazy, and impulsive and she had the AUDACITY to replace his hair dye!!!

Jack: The dude just doesn’t have time for her antics and has threatened her on many accounts. She tends to stay away from Savannaclaw anyway because everyone there actually intimidates her. Apart from Ruggie, and that’s only because he’s a fellow member of the short people club.

Sebek: As a joke with the help of Lilia, Ruby organised a party for the whole school and “accidentally” didn't invite Malleus. Lilia took the brunt of his anger and Ruby just suffered a telling off from Sebek and Silver. She retaliated with smart alec replies. Long story short, Sebek low-key hates her now.

Jamil: He does not like the effect she is having on Kalim. There are frequent arguments between the two, but there's an unspoken rule that they never fight when Kalim is around. Gotta protec the cinnamon roll

~Trivia~

- Upon her acceptance into NRC, Ruby’s parents sent her off immediately in a carriage with a trunk full of clothes they had chosen for her. The trunk lies in her dorm cupboard, undisturbed since day one.

- Ruby never speaks of her parents unless specifically asked about them. Even then she disregards them. “They just helped me get here. I don’t really like ‘em.”

- Her favourite person to hex is Rook, and that is the only reason those arrows keep missing the targets in archery practice.

- Ruby’s favourite dessert is raspberry panna cotta, she has a real sweet tooth.

- Chandelle means “Candle” in french.

- She originally had two hair bunches instead of one, but I decided only having one would look sassier and add more interest to her design.

- Because of her helicopter parents, Ruby needs to feel in control of situations. It stems from the frustration and insecurities of never having any choices in her life. Hexing and pranking is one of the ways she does this.

- She experienced a lot of emotional neglect from her parents, so Ruby finds it hard to express herself emotionally. This is the reason she is impulsive and rather vocal.

- Secretly really insecure please give this child a hug she will appreciate it.

- She likes capes. Like, a lot. Also, long hair. Literally anything long and swishy. There is much dramatic cape action with this child.

Oof sorry for kind of being all over the place and really long-

I’m going to bed now...

[quarterfromcanon]

27-29 for the get to know my favorites game

Hello, lovely! Thank you for these. :) Trios turned out to be a surprising challenge (I apparently have more favorite groups of four than three), but I’m pretty happy with the ones I remembered after giving it some thought. The final picks are under the cut! <3

Top 5 BROTPs

1. Paula Proctor & Rebecca Bunch (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - Naturally, this was the immediate choice that sprang to mind. It’s the first relationship on the show I really fell in love with, and it’s the one friendship in the series that consistently tugs on my heartstrings. It’s flawed, complicated, and messy but the genuine connection underneath it all is strong enough that I’m hopeful they can work through their problems. I would’ve preferred to see more emphasis on that effort in the fourth season (and a lot more work on Rebecca’s friendships with Heather and Valencia as well), but I want to believe things improved between them after the finale. 

2. Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley (Stranger Things) - The general public opinion of Steve Harrington has been on such a journey since Season 1, bringing him now to a status of common fan favorite. As such, I think a delicate balance needed to be struck in finding a suitable match to team up with him on adventures. This person needed to:

A) Have good chemistry in their interactions with Steve

B) Bring a new dynamic to the table that he didn’t already have with an existing connection 

and most importantly 

C) Be a unique and engaging character that the audience would care about individually, so they didn’t get lost in simply being an offshoot of Steve’s story. They couldn’t be relegated to perpetual sidekick with little else to define them.

As far as I’m concerned, Robin Buckley fits the bill on every account. She’s artistic, resilient, loyal, and - especially endearing to me - a movie buff. She has a quick wit, a sharp mind, and a big heart. Being friends with Robin helps Steve take the specter of his high school self less seriously so he can put it behind him, and she helps him more fully embrace the person he’s becoming in the wake of that lost status. Having Steve for a friend helps Robin resolve some lingering emotional scars from school as well. It gives her an opportunity to share her authentic self with a peer and - to her relief and ours - find acceptance after revealing a pretty important secret. I can’t wait to watch the two of them be adorably nerdy and goofy bros at Family Video in Season 4, presumably with some daring fights against dark forces when they’re off the clock. Does saying I hope Kali comes to Hawkins somehow and bonds with one or both of them mean I can speak that into existence? I’m doing that now. It’s worth a try. If it happens in some capacity when the time comes, know that I will throw a One Blogger Party of epic proportions. 

3. Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught (Wynonna Earp) - I had to use this specific screencap because it perfectly encapsulates the chaotic energy that makes me loves these two together so much. Their separate approaches to their shared work environment are at pretty much polar opposite ends of the spectrum, but they make a pretty solid team when they play to each other’s strengths and communicate. They also both love Waverly most of all, so it feels like they were bound to work out their differences eventually since neither would want to make her feel torn between her sister and her girlfriend. The hijinks they get up to in each other’s company are just top shelf. I look forward to at least a little bit of fun like that from every season. If I wind up having a lasting partner later on down the road, it’d be cool if their personality balanced well with my sister’s on this level. I’d also be really happy if I ultimately gelled with her person in a way that sounded unlikely at first but worked. Fingers crossed for both outcomes, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

4. Emily Thorne [Amanda Clarke] & Nolan Ross (Revenge) - I have two things to quickly clarify for those who are unfamiliar with this show.

#1 She has two listed names because she was born Amanda Clarke but goes by Emily Thorne for most of the series to hide her true identity. 

#2 Despite the impression this picture may give, Nolan is not marrying Emily; he is simply walking her down the aisle. 

These two are there for each other through so much - the looming threat of discovery, jail time, capture, near death experiences, heartbreak, the passing of loved ones, etc. - and they make it to the other side with a deep bond the likes of which they’ll never experience with another person. It is at times heavily one-sided because of how much drama Emily deliberately dives into, but it’s something that she tries to make up for during her more self-aware and less self-involved times. There’s genuine love and mutual respect there by the finale and it’s really gratifying to witness the journey they’ve taken together. 

[~Slightly spoiler-y closing statement after these brackets~] I was pretty sure I knew where the show was going with romantic ships by the end. I knew for certain it wasn’t my personal OTP for her because they’d already killed that person off quite some time ago. There was a part of me that could’ve found some contentment in leaving the story with these two as a couple. After all, one of my favorite ship dynamics is Reluctant Acquaintances to Best Friends to Lovers, but it was not to be. That being said, the platonic friendship they shared was a big part of the heart of the show and I cherish it for that. Nolan was a rare exception for Emily, a genuine bond formed in the years when she was tried to operate like her heart was made of stone. I also think working with Emily gave Nolan a sense of purpose and let him flourish in his area of expertise. I’m not sure how either of them would feel about the musical reference but, to slightly paraphrase from Wicked: because they knew each other, they have been changed for good.

5. Penelope Stamp & Bang Bang (The Brothers Bloom) - I have seen Rachel Weisz and Rinko Kikuchi in more roles since this movie than I had prior to watching it for the first time so, if anything, my fangirling over this friendship has gotten worse rather than more manageable. x) This post classified the film under the subgenre whimsical noir. It turns out that’s a style I instantly adore every time I stumble upon it. One of the titular brothers, Stephen, lives so deeply immersed in the variations of the world he writes for their heists that even those closest to him are essentially characters he can interact with on a daily basis. His feelings for them as people can get very muddled with his feelings for them as interesting OCs to move through narratives. A big trouble with this is that his living archetypes can often get reduced to clichés. He’s not always mindful of their nuances or allowing for the full range of their autonomy. Penelope is selected by Stephen to serve as the “manic pixie dream girl” who will be his brother Bloom’s forever love and Bang Bang is essentially presented as a “dragon lady” stereotype. I haven’t done a rewatch in years so I may be giving the movie too much credit here, but I remember this choice feeling at least semi-deliberate. It could be interpreted as a way to illustrate how Stephen warps real life to fit his vision. At least, I can definitely remember scenes that felt like they debunked the one-note assessments of these two. What I genuinely love, though, are the little moments when Penelope and Bang Bang are able to just spend time together with little to no interference from Stephen or Bloom. They share their hobbies and teach each other new skills. It feels like they truly perceive one another as whole human beings on a level that neither guy is capable of doing since they’re both so immersed in the drama of the plot. When the women are with each other, they get to be more than an extension of the men who maneuver them; they get to be themselves. Penelope is the only one Bang Bang clearly wants to maintain contact with once the heist is finished. I think that says a lot. Honestly, this is another BROTP that could slide to OTP. If someone wrote fic of them completely severing ties with the brothers and going off on their own - romantically or platonically - I wouldn’t be upset at all. 

Top 5 Trios

1. Luke, Leia, & Han (Star Wars Episodes IV - VI) - Oh dear, I’m overwhelmed just looking at a picture of them together. Star Wars has been a part of my life since childhood. Getting to watch the original trilogy felt like a rite of passage (when I was really little, Mom used to find things for us to do outside the room while Dad watched because she was afraid some of it might scare me). Princess Leia resounded with me on a level that almost no other fictional royalty has ever quite matched. Han’s wardrobe is still some serious #aestheticgoals and I would 100% wear replicas of his jackets and vests if I had them. I also remember thinking that Luke’s new look in Return of the Jedi was SO COOL with the all-black wardrobe and green lightsaber. Wow, imagine that, an edgy costume change that shared vibes with the common Disney villain color palette called to me as a baby fan of antagonists and antiheroes! Who ever could have foreseen that sudden spike in appreciation? :P Anyway, one of my lingering sorrows about the more recent trilogy is that we never got to see all three of them as aged adults in each other’s company. I still wanted our new cast to get their time to shine, of course, but I do lament the absence of at least one little trio reunion.

2. Luna, Neville, & Ginny (Harry Potter series) - The Silver Trio, pictured here with the first set of three that comes to mind when thinking about the books and movies. I do still love Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but I’ve found a growing appreciation for this other team-up over the years. They’ve been through a lot too, even if they are not always present where the main action is. Bullying, loss of parents, manipulation of the mind and body, abuse at the hands of authority figures - they’re all left with internal (and probably external) scars to bear. There’s also something to be said for how strong they all were in the school year set during Deathly Hallows, when the Golden Trio wasn’t around to inspire and unite those who wanted to stand up to ever-increasing tyranny. It can be easy, unfortunately, for them to get written off based on the oversimplified stereotypes that have gotten associated with them. People remember Luna as being weird and spacey, Neville as awkward and hapless, and Ginny as bland and lovestruck. They’re all far more nuanced than that, and they accomplish great things while fighting for and beside their friends. I’m planning on doing a re-read of the books at some point, and I really look forward to revisiting these brave kids.

3. Irma, Marion, & Miranda (Picnic at Hanging Rock) - Ah, yes, my very recently discovered darlings. I have many thoughts about them all. I’ll try to keep this as condensed as I can while still making sense. Some spoilers will follow, although those won’t answer every question the story poses. There are audience members who ship the above characters as a throuple, which I totally get, but for me it’s like soulmates of a different kind. These three have met at a point in their lives when they all burn with compatible intensity. They long for the same dream version of youth, for a way to begin life free from the confines of a world that won’t accept all their hearts contain. While the people that surround them may not be willing to bend the rules, nature itself appears to show them mercy. How often do we see a story of girls who just... love other women so much that a sacred location goes, “Y’know what? I’m gonna help you escape your restrictive society. Permanently.” This miniseries definitely depicts the setting as being involved in messing with the investigation, as a mystical place that befuddles unwanted intruders. I love the way these three fortify each other in times of pain and fear, and there’s something deeply moving about how standing side-by-side helps them defy the odds.

4. Sarah, Alison, & Cosima (Orphan Black) - Okay so, technically, when I picture our core team in this show, the net is a little wider. My mind tends to also include Felix, Mrs. S., Kira, Helena, Donnie, Delphine, and Scott. However, I think you could kinda argue that those characters have a stronger connection to one of the above three than they do to the other two. Thus, this ends up being the central triangle. They’re all such solid performances and the fact they’re all played by the same person is incredibly impressive (not to mention the, like, twelve other clones Tatiana brings to life throughout the series). Watching them go from tense strangers to sestras was wonderful. I’m glad they had each other through the increasingly complicated web of lies and schemes they had to unravel and survive. 

5. Galavant, Sid, & Isabella (Galavant) - Remember how James Marsden was in Enchanted? If you dialed down the deliberately cartoonish quality of that performance and allowed for more not-so-G-rated humor, I feel like you’d have a general sense of what Galavant is like as a character. Sid is his squire and Isabella is a princess whose mission happens to combine with Galavant’s, albeit fueled by different driving motivations. They find themselves involved in a lot of shenanigans because of Galavant - even in his own universe, he’s into the whole dashing knight thing more than is strictly necessary - but they make a fun little team to follow through the world of this musical television series. I’ve gotten fuzzy on the details since I watched it air live four years ago, but I remember the series being enough of a summer feel-good time that I’d be game to revisit the show again someday.

Top 5 Family Relationships

1. Stevie Budd & The Roses (Schitt’s Creek) - The whole fish-out-of-water setup for this series was already pretty fun in and of itself, especially given how outlandish their lifestyles evidently were before the show begins. The thing that makes it special, though, is how the absence of all their expensive distractions finally helps them prioritize being a family. The Roses do a lot of work to reconcile who they were with who they find themselves becoming in the present. It’s sweet to see them collectively conclude that growing closer to each other is one of the few things they do not regret in the slightest. They also silently agree to adopt Stevie along the way and, boy, does that give me a lot of Big Feelings, particularly in the later seasons.

2. River Song & The Ponds (Doctor Who) - I think it’s been like seven years or so, give or take, since I watched Doctor Who with any regularity. These three have resurfaced in my mind many times since then. They all love with such fierce and unwavering devotion, spanning lifetimes. It’s fascinating - and often heartbreaking - to learn about the things they’ve experienced and endured. Oh gosh, and once the show reveals how River’s story overlaps with theirs, and you pay attention to how she looks at them, IT HURTS but it’s so engaging to watch. The emotions are all flooding back just remembering them now. Argh, what great characters... </3

3. The Tico Sisters (Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi) - Rose appears in two installments of the third trilogy, but this is the episode that has both Tico daughters. We never get to see them interact onscreen in the film, but I still feel the bond between these sisters so intensely. I found out later that Kelly was present for the filming of Paige’s death scene (which happens so early in the movie that it doesn’t feel like a big spoiler - please forgive me if it is). I’m glad that was something they decided to do behind-the-scenes, because it definitely informs Rose’s grief. She’s sitting in the dark, picturing her big sister’s final moments with such horribly vivid detail that it feels like she was there, and yet she can’t do anything to change how it ends. The shape of the sisters’ necklaces immediately establishes that they were a unit even when acting independently, that they felt like two halves of a whole - all they had left of their family. Now there is only one, and that fact is a weight around Rose’s neck both figuratively and literally. It serves as a visual reminder of how she carries Paige’s absence always, trying to discover and embrace who she is on her own while still honoring the memory of a relative she loved so deeply. I think she reaches the end of Episode VIII feeling like she’s someone of whom her sister would be quite proud. I’m very proud of her, too. 

4. The Tyler Siblings (Wonderfalls) - Jaye is comically different than the rest of her family, and the show establishes that right out the gate when we learn that she’s the only one whose name doesn’t rhyme with the rest (left to right, the others are Karen, Sharon, Darrin, and Aaron, respectively). Her relationships with her parents could certainly lead me off on some analytical tangents but, predictably, it’s the sibling stuff that interests me more. I think it could be said that all three do more living inside their heads than they do out in the world, and that they’ve all grown up to be borderline loners (Ironically Jaye, who is considered the most troubled, is the only one I remember being shown to have formed and maintained a friendship). Aaron’s a very philosophical and analytical person, so you get the sense he talks to himself more than to others, although he still manages to resurface from those deep contemplations so he can goad and tease his sisters from time to time. Sharon is high-strung, competitive, and brings that “disaster lesbian” energy to basically every social interaction she has. Jaye’s standoffishness seems to stem from both the difficulty of fitting in with people and the fear that connections will fall apart once they manage to form at all. They’re all just messes trying to make the best out of the situations they face, and I appreciate that. I also enjoy how prominently the Jaye and Sharon sister bond features throughout the show’s only season. It starts out on pretty rocky ground, but they grow a lot in regard to how willing they are to communicate and express their love for one another. 

5. The Brothers Proctor (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - The family dynamics in their house are in need of some serious work, without a doubt. I’m just really touched by how close these two have become without Paula’s notice. It’s possible they always were, in that we-fight-but-we-care way that siblings can often be, but the supportive side of that really moves to the forefront as they get older in the series and it warms my heart. There’s such a glaring difference between The Household As Paula Views It and Things That Are Happening While She’s Not Paying Attention. I can’t help using fic as a way to explore that. I happily find excuses for her sons to make pop-in appearances, just to check up on them. I'm so pleased that, as of Season 4, they seem to have become fairly well-adjusted in spite of everything. Oh, and I am still not over the revelation that they attend renaissance festivals together, in character, for fun. What precious cuties who would no doubt dislike me referring to them as such! Paula, please give them an extra hug from me! 

[antoine-roquentin]

vanity fair article on epstein from 2003:

Thereafter the details recede into shadow. A few of the handful of current friends who have known him since the early 1980s recall that he used to tell them he was a “bounty hunter,” recovering lost or stolen money for the government or for very rich people. He has a license to carry a firearm. For the last 15 years, he’s been running his business, J. Epstein & Co.

Since Leslie Wexner appeared in his life—Epstein has said this was in 1986; others say it was in 1989, at the earliest—he has gradually, in a way that has not generally made headlines, come to be accepted by the Establishment. He’s a member of various commissions and councils: he is on the Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the New York Academy of Sciences, and the Institute of International Education.

His current fan club extends to Cayne, Henry Rosovsky, the former dean of Harvard’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences, and Larry Summers, Harvard’s current president.

same author, daily beast, july 9, 2019:

Epstein’s name, I was told, had been raised by the Trump transition team when Alexander Acosta, the former U.S. attorney in Miami who’d infamously cut Epstein a non-prosecution plea deal back in 2007, was being interviewed for the job of labor secretary. The plea deal put a hard stop to a separate federal investigation of alleged sex crimes with minors and trafficking.

“Is the Epstein case going to cause a problem [for confirmation hearings]?” Acosta had been asked. Acosta had explained, breezily, apparently, that back in the day he’d had just one meeting on the Epstein case. He’d cut the non-prosecution deal with one of Epstein’s attorneys because he had “been told” to back off, that Epstein was above his pay grade. “I was told Epstein ‘belonged to intelligence’ and to leave it alone,” he told his interviewers in the Trump transition, who evidently thought that was a sufficient answer and went ahead and hired Acosta. (The Labor Department had no comment when asked about this.)

Who Is British Socialite Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s Longtime Partner? 

Surprisingly, given Maxwell’s relatively high-profile role in both the English and American social scenes, fairly little is known about her or the exact nature of her relationship with Epstein: she’s been alternately referred to as Epstein’s romantic partner, his best friend, his fixer, and a “madam” catering to his sexual desires. Here’s what we do know about the woman who has been a member of Epstein’s inner circle for decades — and whether we can expect to see her playing a larger role in the criminal proceedings against him.

Maxwell is the daughter of British media mogul Robert Maxwell, who owned and operated a number of British tabloids and was at one point estimated to have been worth nearly $1.9 billion. She was educated at the prestigious Marlborough boarding school in the U.K., and went on to study at Oxford.

The Maxwells were active in both British and American social circles, and the family apparently had ties to Trump before even Epstein did: a 1989 clipping from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch lists Trump as a guest on Robert Maxwell’s yacht, the aptly named Lady Ghislaine. In 1991, Maxwell was found dead under mysterious circumstances after reportedly having fallen overboard from the yacht. It was later discovered that he was in a significant amount of debt at the time of his death, and had embezzled from his employees’ pension fund....

She also continued to cultivate friendships with extremely high-powered individuals such as Trump and Prince Andrew, reportedly introducing Epstein to the latter in 1997 and former President Bill Clinton, even appearing as a guest at Chelsea Clinton’s wedding in 2010.

wexner is currently at the centre of a controversy in israel. his charity, managed by epstein, paid millions of dollars to former labor leader ehud barak, who is trying to start a new party to challenge netanyahu. barak was israeli defense minister between 2007 and 2013, around the time that epstein negotiated his deal. likud and its publications are working overtime to tie barak to epstein. wexner’s long history of charitable giving especially in israel, plus his work in the fashion industry shipping goods internationally (victoria’s secret, abercrombie & fitch), make him a good candidate for odd jobs needed done by american intelligence. america largely controls israel’s politics through political donations by billionaires, a system it set up in the 1970s when it took likud from podunk party to the premiership. it seems reasonable to assume that wexner, and by extension epstein, were/are part of this.

maxwell is a british media baron (the inspiration for the villain in tomorrow never dies) who has a long history of working for israeli interests and was publicly accused of being a mossad agent directly. the israelis used to be a pawn of the brits before the americans, and he died in 1991, so my guess is that he a mediator between those two nations. interestingly, the yacht that was named after ghislaine ended up belonging to emad khashoggi, related to the iran-contra arms dealer adnan, the dead journalist jamal, and, through marriage, dodi fayed, of princess diana fame. my guess is, the maxwell daughter is more the one running things that american intelligence needs doing, and epstein is more of the cover story.

which begs the question, why has he been arrested now? three occam’s razor type explanations probably cover most of it. first, the original plea deal came long after epstein had been arrested. it’s not like the higher ups that epstein knows monitor every case that every us attorney works on. it takes time for that pressure to be applied, and epstein could end up weaseling his way out again. second, media coverage by the miami herald was key to this investigation. the us attorney’s office even specified this in their statement. it could be that epstein is too hot and has to be burned. third, us attorney for SDNY has a history of making politicians out of prosecutors who worked on enough high profile cases that they built a media following (see rudy giuliani, james comey). probably the current attorney thinks he can score this as a high profile case and switch jobs if the pressure from up top is too great. but there is one more salacious reason i can think of. the intelligence community is known to not be big fans of donald trump. perhaps somebody thought that letting the epstein thing blow up would hurt trump, given his ties to the man.

[vinspiration-book]

Son of Palaven, Daughter of Earth Playlist

Based on the story by miceenscene

Story Here

Spotify Playlist Here

Playlist Status: Synced up to ch. 47

This wonderful piece of fanfiction inspired me to create a soundtrack for it.  Here is a track listing and some thoughts about each piece.  I try to pick thematic tracks for each story beat, while still retaining a rhythm between each song.

1. The Arranged Marriage - Gavin Luke

An instrumental piece by film composer Gavin Luke is the overture.  Anxious and urgent, it depicts a quiet, unhappy uncertainty that is nevertheless peppered by bright chords.  Combined with the name, it sets the tone for Shepard and Garrus’ unwilling journey into matrimony.

2. I Still Taste Fire - Stephanie Mabey

“I woke up with ashes in my mouth”

Shepard’s beginning theme.  A dark and driving song of regret and grit.  Shepard feels that she, Flaming Death, has personally lost the war and didn’t even get to see the ending.  The line “Thought I'd always remember what it felt like / To want you / But it's all kind of hazy now / Almost like I burned it down” normally refers to a lover, but in Shepard’s case, the “you” is an end to the war that she thought she wanted.  Now that the price of peace is her freedom, it's a bitter thing to swallow.

3. This Means War - Marianas Trench

“I hate to admit it but I miss the war”

Garrus’ beginning theme.  Whereas Shepard’s song was all seriousness and loss, Garrus can never quite be 100% sass-free.  So we get this jocular tune about having to play nice with someone even though you’d rather be fighting them.

4. Can’t Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus

“If you try to hold me back I might explode”

The wedding: Shepard’s view.  Deep in enemy territory, forced to participate in a ritual meant to demean her and her species, Shepard is nevertheless putting on a fierce display, just like the brash attitude of this number.  The irony of the song is that the singer keeps repeating over and over how she can’t be tamed; almost as if no one believes her?  Also includes the line “I'm like a puzzle / But all of my pieces are jagged” which has a double meaning that ties in to the story: as Garrus says much, much later both literally and metaphorically, “[A puzzle] is the best thing you could have gotten me”.

5. Love Runs Out - OneRepublic

“I'll be doin' this, if you ever doubt, / 'Til the love runs out”

The wedding: Garrus’ view.  Is this a romantic song, or a resigned one?  Or is it duplicitous?  Garrus may be a bad turian, but he’s still obedient to the Hierarchy, even if it’s only going through the motions and hoping for an escape.  The driving punch of the bass notes echoes this sentiment in a song that could be read as either loving commitment or bitter commitment.  It contains a lot of fire imagery too, especially the singer being someone to help someone else start a fire… perfect for being tied to Flaming Death. The song also mentions an (arch?)angel and the strong influence of the singer’s mother, both of which are important to the story.

6. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

“Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun”

Spying: Shepard’s view.  So Shepard and Garrus only ever play a board game in this story rather than poker, but come on.  It’s Poker Face.  It’s the best song ever about selfishly conning your partner to further your own high-stakes goals.

7. Fraud - Jonathan Coulton

“Sharp teeth test your skin / Too late, you let an angel in”

Spying: Garrus’ view.  This song takes a more meditative approach to being disingenuous, but just about every verse is packed with imagery that pairs perfectly with the story, from unwanted houseguests, to painting, fighting, and losing.  The refrain is even about an angel with fangs!

8. Didn’t Know You - Karmin

“Like a bird of prey / Out of nowhere you came / Do you always get your way?"

The reports: Shepard’s view.  An angry song about being the victim of deception and invasive tactics.  The singer talks especially about upending their entire life (setting “dreams ablaze”--fire imagery again) for the sake of someone who turned out to be a liar that controls their every move.  Turians are sometimes referred to as “birds” as a pejorative in Mass Effect, making the repeated line fit even more.

9. Can’t Go to Hell - Sin Shake Sin

“This romance with ignorance has left us behind”

The reports: Garrus’ view. Unlike Shepard’s reaction to finding the reports--which is very much about personal betrayal--Garrus’ reaction is a more public outcry about the situation going FUBAR.  One of the central tenets in ME canon about Shepard and Garrus’ relationship (to the point that even the characters themselves talk about it in these terms) is that he willingly follows her into hell every single time.  This makes the bitter anger of the chorus (“We can’t go to hell if we’re already there”) especially poignant.  The second verse evokes Shepard and Garrus’ situation closely too, mentioning being “blind by design” and stating “...history keeps getting paid to change its mind”, which is the purpose of the arranged marriage in the first place.

10. Home - Machine Gun Kelly & X Ambassadors

“Now tell me, how did all my dreams turn to nightmares?”

Shepard and Garrus: no extraction.  A rare male/female duet of frustration and longing for respite that neatly applies to the protagonists’ mindsets.  Both Anderson and the Hierarchy have turned away their soldiers, leaving them in this untenable situation.  Though they arrived at it differently--and aren’t commiserating at this point--Shepard and Garrus are feeling the same thing now:  They must continue to live together, but there’s no way this life can bring them any happiness or rest.

11. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap

“Speak no feeling, no, I don't believe you”

Shepard is broken, and so is Garrus, a little.  This haunting acapella song (delivered in dual-toned overdub kind of like how a turian speaks, interestingly) was famously used by a TV drama for an overly dramatic murder scene, and then used again by Saturday Night Live to spoof that scene.  But Hide and Seek is technically about a divorce… and how a former home now becomes unrecognizably empty as the former couple moves out and apart.  Although they can’t separate, this is essentially what has happened to Shepard and Garrus.  Shepard tries to “live” as little as possible in the house while still being confined to it.  Garrus tries to escape to work.  

12. Rumble - Hi Fashion

“He said, she said / You better mind your space”

The alley brawl.  A complete turnaround from the previous song, this abrupt battle anthem (sung by dual tones again, and with a notable mention of a man and a woman both throwing the punches) is both high-energy, but also a slower tempo than you’d expect.  The effect is that of measured, precise violence rather than a chaotic frenzy; perfect for trained soldiers giving a beatdown.  Canon Shepard gets ribbed for being an awful dancer--outside of the battlefield, at least, giving an ironic twist to the dance imagery in the lyrics.  But this is technically the first time in the story that Shepard and Garrus are in sync: their first metaphorical dance together.

13. Hammer to Fall - Queen

“Tow the line and play their game / Yeah, let the anesthetic cover it all”

Medigel.  This story's version of Shepard loves Queen, and this song provides the title for the story’s later chapters, so it had to be on the soundtrack of course.  A disillusioned anthem to soldiers who are asked to fight wars for reasons someone else decided, it describes Shepard and Garrus’ situation perfectly--their lives have been ruined because of Fedorian’s unjust war.  Even though this is a small snippet of background to the story, it’s nevertheless a critical turning point, when Garrus realizes just how badly Shepard has been wronged… and that he himself contributed to it.

14. Karma - Marina

“So vicious, this cycle / When you live in sweet denial”

The apology: Shepard’s view.  Garrus apologies to Shepard, but she doesn’t know how to take it.  She’s skeptical, and with good reason.  Although this song is talking about a great deal of betrayal, the tone is less angry--or even melancholy--than weary and aloof.  The singer has made what peace she can with the situation, and is just waiting to see how everything plays out, rather than actively wishing harm on someone.  Karma is usually about an equal return of bad experiences, but Shepard is too defeated at this point to really care about that.  Garrus’ distress at his actions is actually better karma than if he himself were to be betrayed.

15. I Won’t Let You Down - OK Go

“Maybe all you need is someone to trust”

The apology: Garrus’ view.  Garrus is a man of action, and this upbeat track wastes no time in sorrow, instead attempting to reach out to the wounded party with a direct promise of support.  The lyrics talk about people who have every right to be distrustful, even using battle imagery (“no flag to fly”, “strap that armor tighter on”)... but rather than trying to get past their defenses, the singer encourages the downtrodden to fight harder--together.  A very Garrus point of view.

16. Rumors - Lindsay Logan

"You're probably gonna write what you didn't see”

The interview.  Ah, Khalisah.  A pretty straightforward song about paparazzi doing what paparazzi do, sung by the aggrieved celebrity.

17. One Shot - Rob Thomas

"We get one chance to make this kickstart”

Bottle shooting at the valley.  While Shepard and Garrus fire a lot of rounds during this little date, it's the final shot that's the most important.  Garrus' previous actions since their fight have been peace offerings, but this is his first actual gift to Shepard.  He gives Shepard his crown just to see her smile.  Essentially, his first romantic gesture is literally “one shot”.  The sentiment pairs perfectly with this energetic tune about starting something rare and good.

18. Souvenir - Johnnyswim

“It's those little things that I hold dear”

Terra Goods.  At this point, Shepard and Garrus are starting to do things to really support each other in little ways and in big ways, culminating in Garrus creating a whole souvenir trading company just to make Shepard happy.  This song, a duet that alternates between jaunty and staid, talks about a couple that had a brief good time, then separated due to some unnamed conflict.  Now they both think fondly of their time together, making souvenirs of the memories.  Both singers individually wish for another chance, while not realizing the other person does too.

19. DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love - Usher, Pitbull

“I think I remember those eyes”

Clubbing with Solana.  This throbbing dance tune is simple enough that even Shepard could probably keep to the beat.  Seeing Shepard (attempting to) dance is one of the first moments where Garrus is physically attracted to her.

20. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Easy come, easy go / Little high, little low”

The walk back.  Shepard sings this most famous Queen song as she stumbles home under Garrus’ watchful eye.  It describes a murderer with a guilty conscience, which Shepard is somewhat.  She’s killed a lot of turians, but now they are people to her instead of monsters.  Shepard probably isn’t thinking about that, though… it’s just a fun song to sing when you’re drunk.  Or anytime.

21. Livin’ in the Sunlight, Lovin’ in the Moonlight - The Good Johnsons

“I’m right here to stay”

Splashing in the fountain.  This whimsical cover of an old song is just silly enough for Shepard’s drunken water foray.  Although it’s been building for a bit, it takes hard liquor for Shepard to admit she might be happy on Palaven.  But there’s a slight undercurrent of the singer not believing their own message.  The line “I’m as free as any daughter” is especially ironic in this context.

22. Mom - Meghan Trainor

“Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine”

Visiting with Galena.  Shepard’s relationship with Garrus’ mother is one of my favorite parts of the story, and it’s one of the things that cements Shepard’s feeling that she may just belong here.  It’s also significant that even though Shepard is starting to love Garrus, she can only express love towards his mother at first.  In a way, loving Galena teaches Shepard how to love Garrus.  Hence why this story beat gets its own song.

23. With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

“Are you sad because you're on your own?”

The care package.  Finally, Shepard finds out that Earth hasn’t completely abandoned her.  This song especially talks about isolation when your lover is not there, and how friends can help you through it.  When Garrus isn’t there, Shepard is almost totally alone on the planet, so learning her squad still supports her is a huge relief.

24. Tongues - Joywave, KOPPS

“Tell me all the things I've missed”

Ashley.  This furtive song is about returning to where you are from, only to find out you are now a stranger to them.  While Shepard’s argument with Ashley is a little more circumspect than that, the gist is that Shepard learns that even though she now has this lifeline back to Earth, she’s not welcomed like she was before… which is just what she has been fearing since her interview with Khalisah.

25. Unbreakable - Jamie Scott

“I won't let you fall down now”

Garrus comforts Shepard and comes to a realization.  This song of gentle encouragement talks about a woman who has lost everything, and the man who wants to love her regardless.  It’s emotive and warm and seems to capture just what Garrus is thinking as Shepard cries in his arms.

26. War Paint - Fletcher

“I write the colors on my face”

The dress shop.  Keslia describes the Gala being a battle, and Shepard’s dress being her armor.  This song of self-empowerment uses loads of battle imagery and works in tandem with the previous one… Shepard’s been wounded emotionally but she’s still fighting.  Turians’ face markings have important meaning for family and home.  But for humans, the same sort of marks are called war paint and are used by warriors to represent ferocity and power.  Shepard turns an outfit that could just make her into the ornament that the turians want and turns it into a symbol of her survival.

27. Ballroom Blitz - Tia Carrere

“She could kill you with a wink of her eye”

The Gala, part 1.  A fun cover of an energetic song talking about a crazy party fight.  Between the turian generals and Cyntha, Shepard and Garrus really do have a battle on their hands.  While nothing violent actually happens, they have each other’s backs throughout the event, even standing up solo versus their partner’s enemies.

28. Blue Dress - Benjamin Franklin Leftwich

“I should love you better than that”

The Gala, part 2.  Shepard asks Garrus if her presence is harming his career, but he doesn’t reply.  This song is meant to be the answer he doesn’t say.  It’s an apology from a man whose work/travel has prevented him from participating in a relationship like he should.  Interestingly, in ME canon, it’s the opposite: the Shadow Broker notes that Garrus’ attachment to Shepard prevents him from being a better commander.  The line “But still my only weakness / Is you baby in that blue dress” fits nicely with the story, but funnily enough also with canon… as blue is the color of the Alliance uniforms that canon Shepard typically wears.

29. Vie En Rose - Pomplamoose

“It’s only him for me / and me for him, for life”

Dancing in the driveway.  This version of Shepard speaks French, so this slow, lilting, classic French love song is what I imagine coming out of the car stereo when Garrus teaches Shepard to dance.  Ok, so it’s probably more likely a turian song playing in this scene, but still.  I especially like the stanza that says “He speaks words of love to me / They are everyday words / And they do something to me” because unlike canon, where Shepard and Garrus’ bond is forged in battle, in this AU it’s built from all the little everyday things they say and do for each other.

30. Bad Liar - Selena Gomez

“If you're the art, I'll be the brush”

Painting.  Shepard and Garrus made that “100%” promise, but when it comes to feelings, they don’t exactly follow through.  This breathy song is about admitting--at least to yourself--that you were denying your emotions, and that your love interest seems to be as well.  Not that Shepard is clued in enough to realize Garrus feels the same way, but putting together the easel with Garrus also helped Shepard put together why she’s reacting to him the way she is.  Once again, they are in sync without realizing it, the dorks.  This song also contains numerous lines that fit the story nicely, such as talking about living arrangements, the battle of Troy (and isn’t that just the funniest view of Shepard’s infiltration of Palaven), and “feelings on fire”.

31. Anne of Green Gables - The Charlottetown Festival

“Anne of Green Gables, sweet and strange, / stay as you are today.”

Reading to Galena.  Oh, boy, here we go.  Get those tissues ready, it’s coming soon.  This simple song from the Anne of Green Gables musical doesn’t say much, but it has a sorrowful timbre that speaks of heartache to come.

32. I Think I Love You - The Partridge Family

“Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face”

Happy Anniversary!  In canon and most fanon, Garrus is slick as oil until comes to telling Shepard how he feels, and then he gets adorably pitiful and nervous.  While at this point in the story, Garrus himself is probably not ready to call it “love”, this anxiety-ridden song still captures that fragile state of mind.  Sadly, Garrus gets interrupted before he makes it as far as the singer does in his confession.

33. Galena - Kerri Sherwood

Galena’s passing.  Did you know there are a lot of songs called “Galena”?  But though I searched and searched--and quite a few of them were sad songs--none of them had the right words.  Because there aren’t any right words for this, are there?  And so, a solemn, sad instrumental piece describes Galena’s last day.

34. In My Arms - Plumb

“All I can do is hold you tight”

Garrus’ breakdown.  This song is from a mother who wants to protect her child from the harshness of the world.  But Garrus’ mother is gone, so Shepard has to sing it instead.  Growing up is hard, and the very last and hardest part of growing up for most people is losing your parents.  As a side note, the song starts by mentioning blue eyes--one of Garrus’ most notable features.

35. Calling All Angels - Jane Siberry, k.d. lang

"Don’t leave me alone"

The Vigil, part 1.  A song imploring various spirits and saints to help guide you through a trying time.  On Palaven, where they ask the Spirits’ help for everything, this would probably be especially appropriate.  Granted, this song gets used in A LOT of soundtracks, but that’s because it’s so perfect for when you’ve lost someone.  More than just loss, this song also says that you know life will go on... but those first steps afterwards are the hardest.  It’s like the MVP of movie funeral songs, and Galena deserves the best, dammit.

36. Hope Will Lead Us On - Barlow Girl

"Become the flame / That shows us the way"

The Vigil, part 2.  Shepard steps up wonderfully for the Vakarian family and helps them heal.  This song, sung almost from a sort of battle commander’s perspective, mixes strong, driving beats with inspiring statements… while still having an underlying piano refrain that is haunting and forlorn.  It doesn’t try to move past the pain, but rather keeps it as a foundation for a new beginning.

37. That’s How You Know - Amy Adams, from “Enchanted”

"It's not enough to take the one you love for granted"

Operation Two Turtle Doves.  Shepard’s getting ready to meddle with Solana’s love life.  So we have a cute song from a cute movie on that very topic.  I wish the pronouns were correct for a wlw relationship like in the story, but what can ya do.  The line “Don’t treat her like a mind reader” made me laugh, because… Keslia literally is one, being an asari and all.

38. Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Prestley

"Shall I stay?"

Kissing in the study.  One of my favorite parts of the story… a tired kiss that’s all about love and comfort rather than passion.  When Shepard and Garrus are both drained emotionally and physically from the Vigil, all that’s left is a quiet gravity that draws them together.  There are many versions of this song, but Elvis’ gentle crooning rendition is all about slow movements and tender questions.

39. Love Of My Life - Queen

“You don’t know what it means to me”

Singing to babies.  Shepard’s still singing Queen, so here is her next solo.  This is such a heartwarming scene, plus we get a bit of sibling slapstick for a laugh.  The funny part is that even though Shepard is the one singing this song to the babies, the lyrics are really describing what Garrus is feeling in this scene.  It works as a cute lullaby, in the way that lullabies often are kind of dark for some reason.

40. Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle

"When I feel alone, I reach for you / And you bring me home"

Going to Earth.  There Garrus goes again with the grand gestures.  Not just anybody can say they gave their partner the world.  As much as this Shepard likes Queen, I bet she also likes other 80’s classics like Belinda Carlisle.  This song represents Shepard’s response to Garrus’ gift.

41. Girl On Fire - Alicia Keys

“Everybody stands, as she goes by / Cause they can see the flame that's in her eyes”

Arriving at Earth.  This song is meant to be from Garrus’ perspective, seeing Shepard in her natural habitat, and is particularly inspired by the story’s description of Shepard being “swallowed by sunlight” as she leaves the ship...which would make her look like she was on fire.  It’s a song of admiration and wonder over the power of this one woman who stands out from everyone else.  P.S. Did anyone else imagine the spaceship was the Normandy, even though it wasn’t?  I did.

42. Wannabe - Spice Girls

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”

The Squad.  Ok, so this song is not serious at all, but Shepard’s squad are a bunch of goofballs anyway.  Although at this point Shepard probably wouldn’t tell Garrus goodbye if he bugged her like the song mentions, she does state that it means a lot to her that Garrus makes friends with her group.

43. Where Everybody Knows Your Name - Gary Portnoy

I initially added this song for Hudson’s, as it’s the theme song from the sitcom Cheers, which is all about this type of bar.  HOWEVER, there are verses in the full song that you never hear in the tv show, including one that’s a bit of toxic masculinity bordering on transphobia.  So, this song can just go in the trash where it belongs.

43. Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

“Home is wherever I’m with you”

The broken nose.  Shepard’s gotten another reminder that she doesn’t quite belong on Earth anymore… but that ends up being okay, because Garrus is her home now.  This fun duet talks about how even if you travel and have a variety of experiences, you can find that the person you shared it with is what’s really important.  This is in direct contrast to the song of the same name earlier in the playlist, which talked about needing Home to be an actual place.  In the middle of the song is a spoken-word section about the man realizing he’s in love with the woman only when she gets injured… which is so Shepard and Garrus it’s funny.  I thought for a long time that the woman’s name in the song was “Jane,” which would have made an even better fit, but it turns out it’s “Jade”.  Ah well.

44. Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty - Chris & Pui

“Purr, purr, purr”

Mr. Biscuits.  A children’s lullaby about cats napping and purring.  The main verse mentions London, which is just a coincidence as a significant location for canon Shepard & Garrus. But really I just wanted a song that Shepard could tease Garrus with.

45. I Want To Break Free - Queen

“I've fallen in love for the first time / And this time I know it's for real”

Operation I Want To Break Free.  Another of Shepard’s Queen-inspired choices that of course had to be on the soundtrack.  This rock anthem has several elements that apply to the story, including falling in love in a strange circumstance, and trying to escape from an oppressive situation.  The song is not necessarily addressed to the singer’s lover though, so the “you” referenced is more likely the outside oppressor.  As Shepard is planning this operation without Garrus’ help, it would make sense that this not song is speaking to him directly.

46. Aurora Borealis - Bohnes

“I saw with my own eyes something beautiful”

Seton Lake:  Garrus’ view.  This location actually exists in real life and is worth googling an image of!  This breathy ballad is an ode to love that is as sublime and ineffable as the northern lights.  With lyrics that talk about stellar phenomena and our place in the universe, it’s especially poignant for lovers from different planets.  The line about “a beautiful coincidence that causes love” also fits pretty well, since the arranged marriage turning to love was all unplanned.  There’s also a line, “the world inside your eyes is more than black and white to me,” and one of Garrus’ most famous lines in canon is about how he’s unsure how to operate outside of black and white morality… but as it turns out, when it’s Shepard, he’s okay with it.

47. I Choose You - Sara Bareilles

“I believe in something again”

The Mark.  While this chapter is explicit, it’s also really charming, humorous, and emotional.  So this light and breezy song about choice and beginnings fits well as Shepard’s perspective.  This story is largely about Shepard having her autonomy taken from her, with the course of her entire life decided by others.  But when she is finally in a position to do something about it--and when Garrus even offers her an out--she chooses him.  The song mentions outside influences trying to convince the singer that her love is impossible or wrong, which is again something that Shepard has had to deal with.  But Shepard now willingly accepts the mark from Garrus that she once rejected… As the song says, the mark is a visible symbol that will “Tell the world that we finally got it all right”.  The line “I will become yours and you will become mine” sounds like a wedding vow, which seems especially appropriate.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

[qhostqizmo]

Questionnaire - Essie

I got bored and filled this out

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1) Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

No; Essätha is the eldest of four, and does not know her other siblings. The closest sibling in age range to her is in their early twenties, about a decade’s age gap. The closest sibling-like relations she has is with a Tiefling she grew up with back home, who is roughly 5(?) or more years older than her.

2) What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Hepsiba was supermom and idol to Essie. Essie adored, and still adores, her mom. Hepsiba displayed a constant generous, open-minded, warm attitude that helped to shape a lot of Essie’s values. They got along wonderfully, and even as a youngster Ess’ showed a lot of respect and willingness to listen to her mothers words of wisdom.

3) What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

The same as it was as a child as it is now: nonexistent. In Essätha’s heart however, there is a lot of bitterness towards a man who left her and her ailing mother behind, also leaving her to learn little to nothing about him save through stories.

4) Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Oh, plenty. The treatment of her and others like her (Solace, her mother, non-humans automatically defined as ‘evil’ races), the death of her mother, deaths in general (sometimes that she blames on herself), so on. I’m sure some party members have a vague understanding her distance and seclusion is branched off of bad treatment due to her race, for instance. Some folks; like Sol and Kraw, could probably identify quite a few of Essie’s ‘flaws’ and where they steam from. Amon is beginning to learn more and more about some of her ‘quirks’ too.

5) On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Lint, spare coins not put in her coin purse, a Green Bean, maybe something sharp and pointy that could be used for lock-picking or stabbing someone’s hand lol. Spare hair ribbon probably too.

6) Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

👀

7) Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Huehuehue… Pre-campaign I think Ess’ had more dreams centered around the loss of her mom and people hunting her and/or attacking her, belittling her, blaming her for all the wrong in the world. Some were personal, based off people she ‘failed’, killed, or feel she killed/wronged. Now I’m sure when she has a night terror it’s probably geared more towards the Raven Lord, Alexis’ and the wolves, the assassins breaking in, seeing her party members hurt/troubled, seeing the hurt and fear in Amon’s gaze, seeing him jailed, imagining all the things that could go wrong and losing m’lord… >:3c You know. Normal Nightmare Stuff nothing to be Concerned about.

8) Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

I’m going to change ‘gun’ to ‘bow’ becuz fantasy. Ess’ is trained in both a regular bow and a crossbow. Her first ever bow-related target outside of hitting a fucking tree was killing a deer, per Kraw’s orders. Lots of tears shed over the damn deer. Lots of tearshed over learning to hunt in general rip my baby.

9) Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Pretty much the same. Money is probably more readily available in Essätha’s life. Pre-campaign likely because of the occasional pick-pocketing. Now becuz she gets paid for kicking butt. Keep it up girl.

10) Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Situational based. Weirdly the less you know her, the more exposed Ess’ is willing to be, because, hey, when are you going to see her again? She might be nervous or edgy in crowds but otherwise w/e man. A lil more skin sometimes gets the gurl you know what I’m sayin’…. The more acquainted she is with someone, the more she fears ridicule, staring, judgment, and the more she wants to hide herself. Give her lots of time to gain confidence, and build trust, and she’d probably be okay being naked around you… so long as you aren’t obviously oogling her. Unless you’ve ahem, earned that level of faith from her where she wants your eyes on her.

11) In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

I would say there’s four instances that stand out the most. One, the first night alone as a toddler after her mother passed away. Two, her first murder, in which she thought she was going to die therefore killed in self-defense. Three, learning that the Raven Lord is probably some kind of god or demi-god being seeing how they killed the Master Arcanist. And four… ‘Not him. You can’t take him.’ …Use your imagination.

12) In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

As a babe, listening to mom sing her to sleep… and at night, in Amon’s arms, when all hope feels lost and then they snuggle up and it just… it’s okay. They can deal with it tomorrow, one step at a time.

13) Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

No. She’s a lady of course not asdjgakl -

14) Does your character remember names or faces easier?

I’m gonna say faces, she seems more ‘creative inclined’ than ‘analytic inclined’.

15) Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Yes! But less so then she thinks. Due to a life of lacking these things, Essätha thinks owning lots of fancy, expensive things will fill a void inside her. She also believes having money and a big house will give her a sign she’s ‘made it’; that she’s secure, that she’s above what everyone says about her… At the same time, fearing it, because of the additional ridicule it may bring (“ah, a Yuan-Ti Pureblood with riches and power?? Must be after Something.”)

16) Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Happiness. It’s quite literally her dream. Sadly as stated above, she grew up thinking happiness was linked to the things you own but mm… she may be learning differently…

17) What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Mr. Hiss!! It was a homemade stuffed snake toy; couldn’t be more than a couple inches made of spare materials her mom had, and button eyes. She played with that thing till it was limp of stuffing, soiled, and raggedy but sadly a bratty kid tossed it into the town’s river so… no more Mr. Hiss. :( She’d have kept that toy all her life otherwise because it was so precious to her.

18) Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition. Because you can be ambitious to do a lot of things; become wiser, become stronger, become kinder. Being wise is cool, but having the drive to become more is sexy.

19) What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

I’d say an inability to trust or commit. In terms of romantic relationships, she’s never held a significant one; mostly one-night stands or brief flings for a while before moving on; never wanted anything more than that. In terms of making friends, oh yeah. Being unwilling to open up or fully engage herself into the relationship has made people weary of her, her motives, and in turn close off from her. If you’re too scared to meet others half-way, eventually they give up on you.

20) In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

In every way; looks, intelligence, status, etc. Mostly she does this as a way to degrade herself. ‘Oh she’s beautiful, and no awkward scaly patches’. ‘I shouldn’t have bothered speaking up, they clearly knows more on this subject.’ ‘Whoop look at the poor girl in rags compared to these guys Yikes-’. When she’s feeling Snobby and Righteous she might do it for the sake of validating her stance; such as being Right and making someone look stupid so she can gloat and grin smugly at them. More often then not though, she compares herself to make herself feel Worse.

21) If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Essätha is the Absol pokemon. If bad things occur, it is she who brought the rain, the drought, the heartache, the doubt, the misery. She’s a magnet for bad things and bad omens. It’s somehow her fault; something she said, or did, or a past mistake came back to haunt her and she screwed up, again.

22) What does your character like in other people?

Ooof, lol, well kind, gentle souls. People who have the ability to grow. Natural nurturers. Those who can be strong for others. Those strong in general; solid, comforting, in the ways that matter. Non-prejudice. Physically she’s got varied tastes; from thick and juicy to lean and swift.

23) What does your character dislike in other people?

Cruelty, judgment, those who take advantage of others, aka ugly on the inside. Physically she’s not into unhygienic individuals, doesn’t typically go for super scrawny or so many muscles they look like they’re in a constant flex.

24) How quick is your character to trust someone else?

To put it simply, given the chance, no one in the Hand of Jubata/Noisy Bastards would have found out she’s a Yuan-Ti until a super-necessary moment; or years later, if ever. She’s always hesitant to put trust into others. But she wants to believe the best outta people so if it comes down to basic trust and not trusting someone with secrets about her, she might be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt (unless she gets a Bad Insight off them).

25) How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Pre-campaign she was just edgy and distrustful. Now during campaign, anyone could be part of those Whispered Shadow cult, so she suspects 50% of this continent at least is out to murder them. If she’s close with the individual, she’s more likely to deny it depending on likability-level. For example, if we found out Barnabus was part of this deranged group, she’d outright be like, “this information is false that sweet man??? I do not think so. You are Wrong.”

26) How does your character behave around children?

Essie loves kids. How she acts depends on their personality; she’s always careful, and soft, and endearing but if they’re shy, she understands they might want more space. If they’re eager and active, she’s even more bubbly and willing to play with them. Mom Genes(TM).

27) How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Time to talk her way out of this shit and either help this person learn to amend their lives or talk them down. If you’re clearly a bad person, or she can’t change you’re mind, she’s willing to whoop your ass. Rather avoid it if possible though unless you’re a truly bad person.

28) How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

*gestures @ the campaign* dis bitch has tried or talked the group out of so many fights so??? Pretty slow.

29) What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

I don’t think Essie had a ‘dream job’; she probably just wanted stability, some place to call her own, happiness, simplicity, life to be ‘normal’. That dream... really has not been achieved.

30) What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Lack of hygiene. Certain foods probs like liver and onions. Rotted corpses obviously. Chewing with mouth open. Idk, things normally others find gross?

31) Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

She’s laying in a large, soft bed with oversized pillows and a dense, warm comforter draped over her. There’s arms wrapped around her. The blanket smells familiar; like leather and pine and a hint of rosewater. She wiggles around in the sheets; can feel another body shift as well to get in a better spot. There’s warm breath on the back of her neck, and a solid shape to her back keeping her warm. It’s safe here. Goosebumps race up her arms. She thinks she’ll take a nap. She can feel the calluses on fingers tracing over the back of her hand, then her palm, until they find the spaces between her own. It’s amazing how beautiful and calm the world can be. Time seems to stop here. Everything will be okay.

32) Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

She is herself but not herself. She can pick up more acutely the ever; the scents, the vibrations in the air, it’s more intense. She can taste the fear in the air; the hate, the disgust. Her movements are jerky; slithering, the scales on her body a different texture moving over dirt and grass. They are judging her. They are sickened. She can see the look in their eyes, and she is exposed. She is a disgusting creature. The only thing to belittle herself more is to change back; naked, small. They know. They all know. She can’t imagine the way he’s looking at her; too scared to check and see. He would never look at her the same.

33) In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

I feel it really depends on what she’s being criticized for. I want to say in most cases she’s probably embarrassed and/or humiliated, but willing to listen. She may openly self-deprecate and still request they express how she can do better. I feel she mostly gets defensive around people she doesn’t respect and whose criticism then wouldn’t matter; or around topics she feels she knows more about (or definitely knows more about) and she’s offended they suggest she does not.

34) Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

If there’s no ‘time crunch’, she may try the same method a second time before moving on to a different tactic. If it’s a panicked or life-risked situation, and the first method doesn’t work, immediately move on to idea two.

35) How does your character behave around people they like?

Bubbly, excitable, warm and affectionate. She can be stubborn and grumpy still, but for the most part she tends to wear her heart more openly and be more wild and teasing.

36) How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Closed up, silent-treatment, narrowed eyes, huffy, clipped phrases, crude, hissy. Typically she’s a bit bitchy and waiting for an out to get away from you.

37) Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Considering she has little status at the moment, probably her honor.

38) Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Essätha removes problems/threats… even if that problem/threat is herself.

39) Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

This is such a were-creature questions HEH uhh, I would not doubt Essie has been bitten by an animal before. Largely she probably forgives the critter and its species. It’s probably her own fault she got bitten after all and she realizes that.

40) How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Respect! If she sees you treatin’ a service job employee like trash you’re garbage to her. Those are hard working people trying to make a living whomst the fuck are you?

41) Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Pardon my hyena laughter but, Essätha doesn’t feel like she deserves much of anything. She certainly hasn’t earned to have what she wants. Maybe in time she’ll grow up a bit and learn it’s okay to have things; material or abstract, without feeling guilty or burdened. I’m sure at that time she’d feel she must earn it first.

42) Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

*stares @ Kraw, Abernathy, Barnabus, etc* She seems to pick up plenty of Those.

43) Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Mmm, I’m sure she’s temporarily looked after a younger person or taught someone here or there, yeah. Not for a significant span of time (not to say she probably hasn’t left a positive impact on others that haven’t forgotten her though).

44) How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Oh ho ho ho~ I don’t think Ess’ has said that phrase to more than two people her whole life. It’s definitely not something she could say without meaning to. I can imagine her trying to say it to persuade someone to do something she wants but she just stands there, tongue-tied, unable to do so. It’s just three words, but it’s three very powerful words that can do a lot of good or evil. She wouldn’t want to abuse them or, make people lose faith in them (likeshehascoughs). She doesn’t want people to conceive her as a liar for misusing it before. She wants to be able to say it with heart, conviction, and certainty to someone she truly cares for… if she could ever work up the courage to do so.

45) What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

I’ll admit: the afterlife isn’t probably something Essie thinks of often. I’d have to say believes in a heavenly ream, and hopes it will welcome her. I do believe she’s scared though because of her race, or any blemishes in her life she’s caused, that she fears she’s already got a one way ticket to hell.