#and every doctor's office that ISN'T a complete shitshow is minimum 45 minutes away so i can't go on fridays unless it's early as FUCK
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billgenbrough · 26 days ago
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As AJR once said
Oh, I'm spiraling now
#atlas adventures#started as an annoyance at a stupid app for being broken for the last two years and being worse this week#turned into “i need meds again” to “i can't even get into a doctor because my mom's availability conflicts with most doctor's hours”#like i have a standing appointment every friday at 2 which is not able to be moved due to my therapist's availability#and my mom only has fridays and saturdays off starting this week#and every doctor's office that ISN'T a complete shitshow is minimum 45 minutes away so i can't go on fridays unless it's early as FUCK#i'm actually about to start screaming and sobbing. i can't fucking do this anymore#the nurse at my therapy office told me she'd contact me roughly around this week to see if i can get in with their main psychiatrist#since the np was a fucking SHITSHOW (i've posted about it before. it was BAD)#and i haven't heard back and i'm going on two months 100% unmedicated. hormonal AND psychotropic#i'm actually losing my fucking mind#i'm becoming morr manic than i've been in probably a few YEARS#it's just all internal doom spiraling so my mom hasn't noticed that “hey my child is about to fucking SNAP”#“maybe i should call that doctor i promised to call in MAY because my child can't get in with their old quack gp anymore”#i still need to call the hospital i saw the quack endo at to see if they take my new insurance and if they have any other endos there#because i do better mentally on hormone meds than on psychotropic apparently. didn't expect that but whatever#main problem with the hormonal correction meds is that it makes me dysohoric as fuck. but when am i NOT dysphoric anymore#everything else is better mentally with my hormonal. the mania (that i didn't even process as hypomania until recently tbh) the depression#i need at LEAST my fucking hormonals before i lose my fucking SHIT#none of this is normal none of this is normal
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