#and even if there are some they're in closet with internalized queerphobia and woud never openly talk about it

[noa-ciharu]

One of the things noone talks about about growing up as queer in extremely queer-phobic society is how it can damage your ability to connect to people on deeper/emotional level. Because friendships are all fine and dandy, but when you get too close to someone questions of who you like would inevitably come up. We live in cisnormative heteronormative society after all

And kids/teens aren't stupid, they can tell something is off. So whenever difficult questions come up you either have option to lie or tell the truth and pray 1:9 chances are in your favor and your "friend" isn't queerphobic and won't tell you to seek therapy. And even if by some miracle they aren't, they'd still avoid talking about your sexuality/gender experiences because deep down it does makes them uncomfortable. That's closest to accepted you've felt irl, so you keep quiet

At school you hear peers talking about hanging out after school; open hanging out, everyone's invited. When school bell rings you're packing stuff and going right home