#and end up in arguments and debates with ppl watching it who also are very sciency

[did-we-imagine]

Omg I was talking with a fellow tumblr user about Ozai and then I realized that the Loser Lord was the embodiment of a traditional saying we have in my country.

"He who wants it all shall not get any of it."

It's interesting how his most powerful motivator (a mixture of greed, pride, wrath, and envy) made him seethe with rage in deep unsatisfaction when many would have been very content with such a high station (except for Azulon being an ass, which was the catalyst of Ozai's descent into his sociopathic megalomania). Yet his thirst for power and recognition were never quenched not even when he finally one-upped Iroh through his plot with Ursa. He just had to want to outdo all of his evil genocidal imperialist forefathers lol. I think it would be nice seeing an analysis if his character through a lense based on the 7 deadly sins.

Through his never ending greed, he ended up losing everything, down to his firebending.

I remember reading an amazing meta where someone thinks that comics Ozai is somewhat OOC because show Ozai was so utterly destroyed when he saw Zuko it seemed he was simply too far gone to try and mess with him anymore. I personally think that this is such a cool take and that the OP's arguments hit the nail on the head, especially in that Ozai knows fully that his ableist heavily militarized country will never ever accept him back after a disgrace far worse than Iroh's post-BSS siege and his new nonbender status. He could definitely start plotting against Zuko after a while maybe, but he'd need Azula more than ever and he'd seek a regent position where he would get to be a puppeteer. His plotting would also be far more "elegant" (read : entertaining to watch) than what happened in the comics IMO.

My personal HC, though, is that dude eventually went catatonic, cementing the energybending as a less than stellar option with logical realistic repercussions, hence why Aang only uses it on Yakkone but not for everyday trouble makers maybe. It would also enrich the plot in that each decision/action has consequences. Sometimes, mercy doesn't come with more pleasant results (i.e : death sentence vs life sentence debate, I think life sentence is far worse than the death because damn what's a fucking life locked up in a teeny tiny cell in a terribly miserable setting esp if one has to do heavy work as a jailbird?), and it's only normal and deserved for the magnitude of Ozai's crimes.

I might be a little dense, but I personally didn't feel that the debending itself was that horrible tbh(since we weren't shown the repercussions like maybe nerve damage ?? Being extra cold ??? Having worse health/chi/whatever than ppl who were born as nonbenders?), like aside from Ozai's insane attachment to it, since I saw cool nonbender characters thrive, I was like "You got off very lightly you jerk...stfu Zuko got it worse losing his face and half of his sight/hearing. I don't want to hear your whining." 🤣

PS: I am not dissing Aang's mercy or trying tl say he wasn't merciful (he is by far so forgiving and kind, he even tried to reason with hell kaiser before fighting him ?? Like what a sweet kid !!). I think he did what he believed was right and his punishment was actually chef's kiss. I just wanted a little bit lore details/a more multi layered approach by authors. I've read some fantastic fanfictions address this side of energy bending, and my goodness, they were excellent.

[swingsetindecember]

i finally watched black adam. overall its fine. but suffers from not having a good through line with the plot

there is too much happening in the film. its 5 films really

a black adam origin story

a black adam champion battle

kahndaq vs intergang war

a justice society team vs villain of the week

a taskforce x tie in

there is a point where you think the film is over but i knew it had more because we hadn't had a final battle but the film was already wrapping up plot lines. so the premise was getting sweaty and just it was trying to setup too much which is a shame

there is a whole straw man argument with hawkman being against killing but he is only saving terrorists (like ppl in the film who have actual killed innocent people). like he is scolding black adam about killing war criminals. and we are supposed to be ah yes, let's debate this. like hawkman doesn't save any civilians. but we have this soapbox moment where he is like you can't just kill people and he just doesn't actually help civilians. it gets messy.

like i can see what they wanted to do, like have hawkman be more morally aligned but the execution of it was very flimsy because black adam is the only one actually saving people. it would be like if captain america was saving terrorists from iron man's rockets and scolding him into a fight. like the collateral damage of that fight was actually more damaging, they were trying to make a commentary about war but it was already a clumsy attempt for a movie with too much going on

there is a moment where you have to buy in that the country they are setting the film in, kahndaq has like crazy magical tech but is also a war torn country. and it happens in the dcu but there is no good set up for why this tech exists aside from a narration that had a lot cgi. like it has never been referenced at all in other films. the movie relies too much on taking you out of the flow of the plot to give you backstory that would have been unnecessary if you were good at world building.

the main bad guy you have no attachment to. like he's just some guy and you kind of forget about him and what his deal is because black adam is fighting the justice society. and then they team up to fight the big bad but like its not earned?? there's a paltry motivation shoehorned in at the end. like it's just messy. i mean there's zombie creatures and like we are like, oh that's a thing now?

just a lot of spaghetti thrown at the wall. which is unfortunate because the cast was great

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm so very happy w/fs2, but a small part of me is tinitiny (very tiny) bit salty about the reconciliation going your way (that's not a beef, I love you tremendously!). you were so sure that rin should be the one to step up, even though majority seemed to disagree (on my dash), but they still went your way. it makes all the sense now to me that it happened and I'm just wondering if that's my bias-ness for rin that blinded me, since I was one of the idiots politely arguing with you after the fs1

LOL I think it's perfectly fine that you feel that way, bc it's kinda a forever debate between to say tsunderes/antisocial ppl/silent types who watch such couples and the social ones. I'm just saying it bc I myself when watching such ships with my hommies, it's literally EVERY TIME one part of the couch goes (aka my mom) "but he (Haru or Lan Zhan or Qiling or Sangwoo or etc) doesn't talk, how's he supposed to know" or "that doesn't count unless u say" or "he should've…lalala" and the other part of the couch (aka me and my sister who don't talk but show things other way) start to agressively disagree and it literally always ends like this:

And I mean, ofc depending on your personality you would watch things differently and feel things differently bc we express our feelings differently. Like I've only recently watched this korean gay dating show where there was a guy who also didn't talk but I from other things from the start guessed who he liked and then at the end turned out that none of the participants there "saw it coming" which to me was pretty wild lmao. So my point is, I got it a long time ago from real life harshly and in many comments under different shows that most people find it hard to understand these signs or even see it. On behalf of "my species" I apologize, but sometimes thats the best we can do really.

I always due to this try to look at these (my favorite) types of pairings from both sides, even tho I know I'm clearly biased too. And my main argument in this cases (as in who must "step up" as you say) is that if one despite of who he is tried as hard as he could to deliver his feelings even painfully so surpassing his comfort zone and the other didn't, then the one who should be stepping up is the one who didn't. I think thats how it usually works at the end. I just know from my own feelings that for them it was very hard to step out of their comfort zone and thats why in such stories writers always reward them at the end for that I think.

That being said in that particular case also I think you have to watch it from the point of who in his way did everything he could when it comes to their relationships and was fully invested without lying to himself and who wasn't. And it was Rin who constantly backtracked due to being scared (for respectable reasons, but still), Haru was fully in for a long time. I just think bc of all the metaphors about swimming and water and the fact that they also want to be together everywhere for life including their profession, some mixed up a bit here the professional and personal aspects.

Like when it comes to their way in professional life goals it was Rin who had no fear and Haru did (also for his own respectable reasons). But when it comes to their feelings it was Haru who had no fear, since the very beginning, but Rin did.

Also personally for me actions always speak louder than words, but at the same time I do understand that hearing some things are also very much needed. So I think its fine to feel both ways, I personally don't really get mad when ppl don't get it.

The only thing that gets me going into a heavy debate sometimes is the fact that some throw around stuff like "well he must express himself more normally" or smth in the orbit, indicating that if you don't express yourself with words specifically, you're an asshole/insensitive or smth like that, nevermind the fact that someone there cut their leg to save his future husband's life you know haha. Which to me is hilarious since its these types of characters that in my opinion are more sensitive and deeper head over heels than others. Bc at the end they due to the fact that for them its ususally the only exception thing, if they enter this territory, they usually drown very deeply and unrecoverably. Meaning once they're in they're all in, there's not gonna be any denial/stepping back an etc.

And I just also don't see the point (when it comes to love) of forcing people to express themselves in a way they don't want to. For example, I'll never serenade to someone who I'm in love with, bc I'm just not that kind of person. I wouldn't want to be someone who expects this from me or will get upset that I don't do such stuff. I myself think random little things like that time Rin was talking about Haru's birthday plans and Haru going "I'm not gonna listen untill you'll change your wet clothes, I'm scared you'll get sick" is much sweeter and to me personally enough. I'm not trying to demean here any huge romantic gestures, I just personally do not care for those. But I know all people are different and that's okay.

So I'm just saying that these kind of characters express the feelings in other ways (which to me for some reason are the most touching). So expecting Haru to do stuff from some of the people's wish list that were voiced after fs1 would be just not Haru. Also the problem there was that Rin was scared to dive into love. And what else in your opinion Haru should've done to show him that he's his safe haven I do not get no matter how much I thought about it. Bias or not but after all that patience and understanding, you gotta admit that the only option here already was a shock therapy of maybe taking it all away haha.

So when it comes to love you gotta judge everyone depending on their own scale. Like you certainly can expect us once in love turn from a cocoa bean into hot chocolate just for you, but we won't magically turn into a sugar syrup, if you know what I mean here lmao. And Rin also doesn't want that, bc he loves Haru. If he wanted to pick someone else, he would've LOL

Also I think being biased is also fine (we all are when it comes to our faves) as long as you admit to it and don't start this thing some people start where they seem to only care about one person in a ship. That's already not a shipping in my opinion haha. Like idk why but I seriously hate it the most. Bc even in times when you're certain you're right, you gotta try to see things from both points of views. In all of your own relationships too.

P.S. also forgot to say" haha I win". I'm kidding lmao. Love you too.

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

[huaanonigiri]

guys I'll say this one and I don't take criticism, or anything bc I won't change my mind. But Wanda Maximoff is the most powerful being in the MCU that I know of. Let me expalin: like many other heroes in Marvel, she's got a lot, and seriously, A LOT of trauma that have characterized her and made her who she is,we know that right? so, my argument is: Wanda, even after all she's been through, after losing everything she held close to her heart was taken away from her, has managed not to only stay strong, but to show just how strong and how much she can do even at her worst. For example, after loosing Pietro, we can see how, when she had her breakdown while fighting, she kinda like, activated some type of power wave that destroyed all the robots around her (rrwatch that scene if you don't get what I mean). Then we have Inifnity war. My girl literally managed not only to stop/greatly slow Thanos from advancing while breaking a FUCKING INFINITY STONE while ALSO killing her love (and the last person that she held close to her heart), which caused her to literally have an emotional breakdown literally in the middle of all of this scene, and she managed to achieve that goal of sacrificing her love and break the Mind Stone before Thanos could get to it. and not to add that she had to Watch Visión die by both hers and Tganos' hands, since Tahnos sued the Time Stone to reverse time and all that (which FOEDNT INVALIDATE and all the fact that Wanda managed to successfully stop him and destroying the mind stone while having an emotional breakdown and experienced a traumatic event). Not only that, but, because of her emotional state, she managed to create her own fake/desired reality of a whole ass town (BEING FUCKING UNCONSCIOUS THAT SHE HERSELF DID IT, SHE HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW WTF WAS GOING ON UNTILL LIKE, MID SEASON1). She also managed to fight an idk-how-old-but-surely-really-old witch that held a lot of knowledge about witchcraft (or well, the magic they possessed), more than heldef, who didn't even consider herself a witch, and come out victorious (and is currently learning from a surely-dangerous-that-contains-dark-spells spells book). what I mean to say is, Wanda, inher average, controlled emotional state, is very powerful itself, but when mixed with intense emotions she becomes a being so fesrfulling yet amazingly powerful.

Now, I'm sure many of you will come at me with soemthing about Thor or some other avenger. But let me argue with this: Wanda managed to unbalance Thor in AoU with her mind manipulation. Also, clearly has lost as much things as Wanda has, and I'm not trying to invalidate him, bc it's not about that, but he has something that she doesn't have: he has a new family, if I remember well after End Game he kinda joined (or went with) the Guardians of the Galaxy (but correct me if I'm wrong please). What I mean to say (regardless of who he ended up with), Thor was not left alone and found a place and people to be with. Meanwhile Wanda was all by herself: Steve: Dead. Natasha: Dead. Clint: unknown but surely being with his family and mourning Nat. Sam and Bucky (who were part of the CAP. Team so surely they must e bonded one way or another): not as close as the first three (I like to think she had a closer relationship with Nat and Clint, but still, even if that's not the case Clint had his own struggling and Idk why or how, but they separated paths, so that's that). She practically lost everyone who she held closest to her heart: Parents, Pietro, Vission, HER SONS! She was left to grief on her own with no one to reach to her, and while Thor has indeed lost the same things as her, he either already mourned them or (specifically in Loki's case) already knows how to deal with. But Wanda? no, she lost loved one after loved one. When she lost her parents, she only had her brother, and when she lost her brother she found love in Vision, died twice in a row (literally) in front of he, and after her fake/desired reality was broken because she unintentionally was hurting other and knew she had to stop, meanignt hat she didn't only had to let go of Vision, AGAIN, but also of her twin sons, of her PERFECT, HAPPY LIFE. Also, Thor is a God, so he obviously will be more powerful than mere humans, but that's the thing. For a simple human such as Wanda to be so fucking powerful, especially when her emotions are out of control (or even being aware of what she does), clesrly tells ME (and I enphasise in ME bc it's my opinion) that she is one of the lost powerful beings in the whole MCU (also, Thor missed killing Thanos the first time just bc he wanted to have some quick revenge talk, which was a mistake, and when he DID kill Thanos, it was never a real fight like in the end of Infinity War and End Game, so I wouldn't really count that. Meanwhile, I'm sure that Wanda wouldn't have hesitated even a bit, fuck revenge talk, decapitate the grape the moment the opportunity presents itself).

Also, if someone is going to mention Captain Marvel, my argument fort hat debate is that, as far as I know, CAP hasn't gone through the same thing as Wanda (unlike Thor), and her powers are always like, under control, because honestly, when you see when someone has true, strong power is when hey loose control of it (like when Wanda created her own fucking reality and mad eit what she wanted, which I really relate it with the Reality stone, but that's a talk for another day). What I mean to say is, Captain Marvel is strong, but when it comes to power, I honestly think Wanda has the upper hand 6and same with Thor, she's got the upper hand on both)

And this, people, is my analysis and explanation on why Wanda is the most powerful Avenger and character in the whole MCU (of what I've seen, since I havent like, watched or read ALL of what Marvel has). As I said, I take no criticism and I will not change my mind, also, this is MY PERSONAL OPINION, and I'm saying this bc I already see some ppl coming at me as I said the most insulting thing (everyone has opinions, and this is mine). So, all THAT being said, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[hirakdesherrani]

Are you friends with people who dislike an actor/character you like?

Hmm..lets see. 

Okay so actor first. Yeah, I actually have no issues with ppl disliking/criticizing an actor I like/stan. My dad and brother troll SRK all the time, esp. when I’m glued to the tv watching any of his films, but that doesn’t really bother me. An actor is basically doing their job, and that job is to entertain the audience. If the audience are not entertained by their performance, then they have a right to criticize. So, when my dad says that SRK overacts (which is true btw in some scenes), I totally okay with him pointing that out. Its like with politicians. If I like a party I’ll vote for it, but if my friend doesn’t like them, she won’t vote for it. Its free country, like whichever actor you want and criticize whoever you want. BUT do not force me to change my opinion. I hate ppl coming to me again and again with their criticisms of SRK and convincing me to dislike him. I am okay with their criticism, just don’t do it in my face and bring him down unnecessarily, hoping that I’ll change my mind. Because I won’t. My opinion is not going to change, I can entertain a debate once, but more than that, I think I’ll just start avoiding the person then. 

Coming to character, er, as lame as this sounds, I find it difficult to like people who hate a character I like, or vice versa. Because our choice of fiction reflects the kind of person we are. So, like if I see someone fangirling over FSOG series, I immediately judge them as silly. If someone fantasizes about Christian Grey, then I avoid that person like the plague. I’m very lame like that. I’ve had huge arguments with friends who supported Zaroon in the initial episodes of Zindagi Gulzar Hai, because I was totally anti his male chauvinist views. Like me and my bff spent entire nights debating why Zaroon is right or wrong in his perspective. In the end, since we were really close friends, we chose to avoid that topic altogether. Even today, me and my friend don’t discuss ZGH because we have very different views on feminism, and we don’t want to end up fighting lol. Also, another thing that annoys me wrt to liking a character, is whether we apply the same standards or not. For example, if we criticize Yash and Pooja for having an affair in Bepannaah, then we should criticize Kunal and Nandni too for doing the same in Silsila. Just because Nandni is played by Drashti Dhami, doesn’t mean she gets off the hook. I hate it when people apply different standards to different characters, because their favorite actor plays that role. It shows that a) they are stupid to not differentiate b/w actor and character and b) they are people with double standards, i.e. hypocrites. And I simply cannot tolerate hypocrisy. A person’s consumption and judgment of fictional characters in books and other popular media reflects their opinions imo. And its easier to be friends with ppl who have similar opinions and pov. That is not to say that I’m not friends with people with whom I have diff of opinion, but in those cases I work hard to avoid any controversial topic lol.

[pumpkinpie59]

rant thing idk:

someone decided to get nasty with me during a discussion about masaya on amino ...

them: His personality is unrealistic because they didn't give him any character flaws which is why to me he was not an interesting character

me: no character flaws? dislikes humanity, can get jealous, keeps his personal life a secret and therefore has few friends, etc. the only reason we don’t really see his main flaws is because the series is from ichgo’s pov so we see things how she sees them. she sees masaya as a kind and caring individual, so we don’t see all the nitty gritty stuff. also it’s been shown that he works rlly hard to be “perfect” bc that’s what people expect of him. he liked ichigo because he felt like he could be himself. sorry, but i do not see how he could be unrealistic or uninteresting :/

them: I don't remember him ever getting jealous always accepting ichigo's being late all the time ,he always protects her and senses when she is in danger , never one got mad at her, acts to perfect which if it is in her prove to , he would be just as manipulative as kisshu , he felt like he could be himself in front of her but yet he still tried to act perfect, therefore he was never his true self in front of her and realistically eventually he would get mad at her for being late all the time and would feel like she's not making an effort to show up despite his secret life , he despises humanity which would mean he would secretly despise her to, there for he had a motive for acting perfect so he was using her all the same

me: he gets pretty jealous in the manga many times. also he says he’s a bit jealous of ryou in the anime. protecting his gf is what he should do as a bf? he got mad at her in episode 4 since she was being secretive and ran off and he was rlly worried about her. he’s definitely not as manipulative as quiche. quiche forces her to do things she doesn’t want to do, while masaya lets her make her own decisions unless he feels uncomfortable (which is a very healthy thing to do in a relationship). if you watch the christmas episode, he admits to his secrets to her and from then on is able to be honest with her when he’s upset or uncomfortable. as for the last few sentences, where does it ever show that he’s mad at her for being late/not making an effort (which he knows isn’t true)??? he said himself that she’s helping him accept humanity and learn to love it. he wasn’t using her, he just saw something in her that he didn’t see in other people and admired her for it and eventually fell for her. that’s innocent and sweet and i don’t understand why you hate him.

them: But he wasn't honest from the very start and neither was she so that would be a toxic relationship. And you got to look at how both were raise I'm not saying it was right but he was raised as a soldier since he was young and properly taught to take everything by force but then you know what he realized his mistakes , I don't ever remember him openly admitting he was jealous of you and ad a boyfriend he also should let he be independent and not so clingy , how wasn't he using her if he was the vessel of deep blue ??and also remember when he turned into dark blue if his love was true enough he would have not at all and she was the first one he went to kill so he was also violent and no better then kisshu ,the problem I have was hes not an upfront and blunt character as kishu and atleast he admitted he was wrong and then he let her be happy though honestly he ended up going to England afterwards then left her alone to be a mew mew to fight by herself

me: okay 1, you started this discussion claiming that masaya was too perfect, and now you’re claiming that he’s toxic. you went back on your claim. 2, masaya wasn’t deep blue. he was his own person, but deep blue only created his body to later be his host body, but masaya was not deep blue himself. 3, masaya and ichigo went to england together. ichigo left him there to help the mews, and he missed her and came back to see her later. he tries to keep in touch as much as he can. and finally 4, not being honest right away is not toxic. they were in the testing phase of their relationship, and thus had to work up to an understanding that both could benefit from. he was able to give her her space so she could grow to accept him and vice versa. that’s healthy. yes, quiche learned, but he still has such a long way to go before he can have a healthy relationship. also, ichigo insisted so many times that he leave her alone. she is in love with masaya and he needs to respect that. even ryou respected that. i don’t hate quiche, but he’s not a great choice for her. at least not at his age. i really don’t want this to get nasty, especially given that i’m a curator and want this to be a safe and enjoyable community, so i would like to respectfully ask you to drop this.

them: You can seem perfect and be toxic it's called narcissism look it up , look in the manga he was his vessel which mean he is deep blue (...) Not being honest is being dishonest , your getting nasty because you don't respect my views and can't handle I have good points , but think what you want you even have in your profile you hate ppl that hate mayasa you must be extremely young and can't handle a good debate but w/e be immature because I have a different opinion and you can't handle it

then they blocked me.

so here’s the thing. i’m not sure if it’s because of my high school background of debate or whatever, but coming up with counter arguments is how debate works? i wasn’t trying to insult them or antagonize them. i was trying to have an intelligent conversation.

this is how i would’ve responded had they not blocked me:

“i wasn’t going to respond because i want this argument to end, but you’re choosing to insult me specifically. i’m 19 and have been active online for ten years now. i never said i hated people *who* dislike masaya. i said i dislike the fact that people hate masaya. completely different. having a good argument means being able to deconstruct a point and giving an alternate point clearly. i literally went to a classical school that taught how to debate. i may not be best at it, but i’m not inexperienced. i’m not trying to be nasty. i’m just trying to respond to your points with my own, which is how debate works. i really wish you’d stop this tho. you’re calling me disrespectful and yet you go and call me immature. this argument is pointless and at this point you’re being hurtful, which is itself a fallacy called ad hominem.”

some more things i wanna say just to get it out of my system: coming up with counterpoints is not disrespecting someone’s opinion. they can believe they have good points. that’s whatever. i believe i have good points. the whole point of a debate is to take an argument and analyze it. tbh i don’t think they were fully reading my points and instead came to conclusions.

“not being honest is being dishonest.” maybe in some cases, but i literally said they were in the early stages of a relationship. idk about anybody else, but say i had a toxic family life as a child. i wouldn’t tell a new partner that right off the bat. i would wait a bit before sharing something so personal so i know it’s safe with that person. same with masaya and ichigo.

“masaya is narcissistic.” i don’t even know how to argue against this because it’s such a ridiculous claim.

tbh tho i kinda wish i had been able to come to some middle ground in the end with a better understanding of each other’s opinions. i keep feeling like i made a wrong choice ... i dislike it when people assume things about me because i honestly want to get along with people. what did i do wrong?

i’m choosing not to tag this

[cnisms]

wanted plots & established connections !

ok cool... this rlly aint shit but ! i’ve come up with some ideas (or alex reminded me of a bunch of connections i wrote for an rp that never opened) that i’d be down for. they’re not in order or anything bc there’s a few that could work for a couple different muses so i’ll just list those details after each one. if u see smth u would be down for just ... lmk :P here is my muse list for quick reference. updated w more !!

01.  a box of friendship bracelets and low quality selfies from 2009 tucked away in a closet is all that survived a dynamic friendship that fizzled into nothing. as roommates, a & b shared everything – a set of first times included. then, interests they once shared began to change and both felt as if the other was leaving them behind. neither wanted to be seen chasing desperately after someone that wasn’t interested, so they both pretend they stopped caring long ago. (ex best friends, possibly romantic, misery !) paris, aja, arabella or angel for either muse a or b.

02. a & b were in an extremely close relationship for over a year, though their friends often debated the seriousness of it as they seemed to spend every second weekend broken up. heated arguments from friday were always completely forgotten by monday, much to everyone else’s frustration. it all came to an end when a particularly nasty argument forced a to take an abrupt vacation, coming back to find b already dating someone else. (ex romantic, drama n tension. that someone else could be an npc or another muse.) angel as muse a, percy as muse a, tomas as muse a or b, rosie as muse b, or luma as muse b.

03. though they had known one another for months before, a & b didn’t really clique until their first argument. ever since then, the two have held tight to their friendship and even more to their weekly debates. they fight about anything and everything, no matter how irrelevant or ridiculous. occasionally, things will get personal and they’ll go days without talking, but they always end up back on the same couch, ranting over wine and netflix. (close frenemies.) angel, alanis, rosie or zach as either muse.

04.  everyone was well aware that a & b had always been partners in crime, many people joking to watch out for the troublesome two. just like siblings, the best friends were often bickering about something, but the frequent fights about a’s selfishness or b’s envy always came to a fast close with a playful punch. of course, there had to be a tipping point. when a heard that b had hooked up with a’s recent ex in their absence, they quickly came to the conclusion that their friendship was done for good. the two haven’t exchanged a single kind word since. (friends turned enemies. same w #2, the ex could be another muse or just an npc.) wes, elizabeth or angel as a. tomas, alanis or luma as b.

05. though they’d never been particularly close friends, a & b knew to turn to each other when seeking something they couldn’t get from those closest to them. just sex, no strings attached. it was the perfect arrangement, until it became clear that a didn’t really care about b’s personal life. b remains desperate to keep the affair secret, while a grows tired of playing it so safe. (oops . cheating plot . muse b would have to be in some kind of relationship w someone else, they could be npc tho.) luma, cici or percy as muse a. elizabeth or rosie as muse b.

06.  intoxicated beyond reason when it was made, it’s no surprise that a & b regret a lot of the things on their bucket list. though they can back out whenever they want with no real consequence, neither are willing to be the first to stand down. with some of their tasks being embarrassing and most dangerous, everyone knows to watch out when these two get together to cross another challenge off the list. (dumbass friends always risking their lives for dares) percy, luma, constance or gia as either muse.

07. a & b spend more time together than apart, using expensive wine and room service to fill in the silence between giggles and gossip that should be used to address the elephant in the room: the mutual affection isn’t as platonic as they like to pretend.  with their own experiences of romantic feelings destroying important friendships, despite the fact they both feel they are ready to get serious, they can’t help but stress the risk in their minds and wait for the other to make the first move. (romantic !!) natalya, helena, gia or arabella as either xx.

08. few people are lucky enough to find that one person they can count on for anything and everything, that’s why a has grown to resent the other people in b’s life. unaware of the jealousy, b has grown tired of the series of petty arguments that a has been attempting to start with them more recently. of course, the issue being left unaddressed has only added fuel to the fire. a has moved on to underhandedly interfering with b’s relationship in an effort to get their best friend back. (toxic bffship. one can’t handle the other having outside relationships (whether theyre romantic or platonic idk) so they scheme n make issues) luma, elizabeth or angel as muse a. luke or zach as muse b.

09. though they had always been friends, a & b grew especially close at the beginning of last year, often ditching their friendship group to go on their own adventures. on one of their messier summer nights, they slept together. the affair continued for months before they finally agreed to end it, though they only really stayed away from each other due to the fight that followed the conversation. despite their ruined friendship, a & b are forced to work together to keep the secret buried as their group grows more and more suspicious of them. (two people within a squad who went from being friends to lovers to enememes. they cheated on their s/os at the time. even tho they’re mad at each other, they’re still friends with both the exes (or current partners if any of them are still together) so they’re trying to keep their drama secret. the friendship group/partners could be other muses but also npc ? so much easier) luma, zach, paris, helena, ajay or gia as either muse.

10. committed to enmity, a & b have never let their mutual friends get in the way of their hatred for each other. there are very few events they consider important enough to save the argument for later, no strangers to bickering over brunches and formal dinners. though both refuse to give any real reasoning for their beef, everyone has their own idea. a & b grew tired of waiting for the other to apologize for the drama, deciding they’re beyond ever becoming friends. (enemies that are always being forced together by their mutual friends, detailed backstory could be developed) luma, mari, tomas, zach, ajay, helena, angel or anyone rlly as either.

11. always swearing the other was the love of their life, everyone was shocked at the demise of a & b’s very public relationship. though a appeared to deal with this much better than b, moving on to a string of hookups soon after the breakup, neither made any attempt at trying to play civil for the sake of the group. it wasn’t until just recently, when they were forced to be alone together for the first time in over a year, that they began to talk. a warm friendship quickly blossomed, though awkward moments are neither few nor fleeting as unresolved heartbreak hangs in the air. (lovers finally turned friends w a nice touch of angst) luma or zach as muse a. aja, helena or luke as muse b.

12. though a & b often claim that their beef is simply due to conflicting personalities, it’s quite clear that their separate histories with the same people play a huge part in their inability to get along. the extremity of this differs day to day, sometimes acting as frenemies exchanging snide remarks, to full blown screaming matches that secretly entertain those around them. everyone else has come to accept the fact that the two have no interest in forming a genuine friendship. (2 ppl who hate eachother bc of a mutual ex. could be an npc or another muse) tomas, percy, rosie or alanis as either.

13. a & b were quick to become best friends and have never been anything else since the day they met. for them, it’s nice knowing that someone always has their back no matter what goes on in their lives, but the rest of their friends aren’t so fond of them together. others often complain that they’re tired of the two always getting involved and fighting each other’s battles. as life forces them apart more and more often, they’ve begun to wake up to the codependent nature of their friendship. (codependent bffs that need to cool it but just love each other so dang much it ain’t easy) aja, zach or elizabeth as either.

14. a & b were always a ‘will they, won’t they’ situation to those around them, one always being interested in the other at the wrong time. they often joke about all the missed opportunities and behave as if they’re fine just being friends, but with the mutual crush returning stronger than ever before, they know it’s only a matter of time before they have to sacrifice either their friendship or their other relationships. (right there . a will they/wont they kinda relationship. one or both would have to have a lil smth going on w/ another muse or npc for the drama) constance, rosie, arabella or ajay as either.

15. after the demise of a long relationship, a began hooking up with b. the agreement was that they’d be friends with benefits and nothing else, b even writing up a list of rules for a to abide by. unsurprisingly, it didn’t last long before a was falling hard for b. no real interest in a relationship with the other, b cut a off completely. a had no choice but to attempt to move on. since then, a has never attempted to play nice with b, who so coldly broke their heart. (fwb turned enemies !!) wes, arabella, luke or beck as muse a. alanis, tomas or luma as muse b.

16. when a felt as though all their relationships were falling apart, b was there to comfort them. what was intended to be just a shoulder to cry on grew into a pure and satisfying friendship that exceeds all expectations. people often pressure the two to date and they won’t deny they’ve each had a desire to do so at different times, but they’ve dismissed these feelings as passing crushes. (platonic, fleetingly romantic) wes, aja, paris or zach as either.

17. a & b are about as different as two people can be, proving that opposites do not always attract. a makes no effort to hide the fact that they think lowly of b, while b isn’t afraid to put a in their place. there are a few, rare moments between arguments where they’ll feel bad for what was said and maybe even share a laugh, but this never lasts long before they’re bickering about something else. (negative) rosie, elizabeth, tomas, mari, helena, arabella or percy as a. wes, zach, paris or gia as b.

18. once a realized people always want what they can’t have, they quickly covered up their long-term crush on b and began giving them the cold shoulder. not much time went by before b took the bait, discovering a new interest in a. they’ve been playing this game of cat and mouse for quite some time, though neither are willing to throw in the towel. despite pretending otherwise, a enjoys the attention, but they’re looking for commitment, and they’re well aware that b is just looking for fun. (romantic (kinda)) aja, arabella or helena as a. rosie, percy or luma as b.

19. ‘ride or dies’ is the term most would use to describe a & b. together, they’ve been through more than most people can imagine. surely, you would think, there has to be a line you’d draw, even when it comes to your best friend. a & b, however, are dangerously committed to each other. it doesn’t matter what one says or does, the other will always have their back without a second thought of the consequences. (another pair of dumbass bffs) angel, zach, paris, gia or luma as either.

20. a & b never really got along, always failing to understand what their friends saw in the other. unlike other people within their group, they were always good at remaining civil for everyone else’s sake, but it’s grown increasingly difficult. following a recent blow up, a & b have realized that what they share may no longer be disinterest, both secretly blaming the argument on sexual tension. (enemies that wanna [ b vc ] smex it) rosie, natalya, ajay or alanis as either.

21. it was just luck that a & b ended up at the same resort on vacation years ago, agreeing to make the most of it. somewhere between sneaking out at night and away from their families during the day, the two fell in love. it seemed perfect and a couldn’t imagine anything better, which is why they were so shocked when they got home and b acted as if nothing happened between them and began dating someone else. while a never cried over b, they had an extremely difficult time getting over b. (exes) mari, bobbie, gia or paris as either tbh. cici as b.

22. just because a & b can’t say exactly when and how they wound up in an exclusive relationship, doesn’t mean it’s not important to them. what was meant to be just another fling escalated into something serious quite naturally, though there are some shared moments where they feel as if they’re back to being nothing more than friends. too distracted by their own outside interests to commit to solving these currently minuscule problems, the two risk destroying their relationship. (ppl who are dating but sometimes it seems like they’re nothin more than friends. could be poly!!) zach, luke, paris or aja as either.

23. a & b are always getting accused of being frenemies by those around them, and they’re unlikely to reject that idea, even when they’re together. for as long as anyone can remember, the two have traded petty insults and pressured one another into terrible ideas. still, no matter how bad things get, they continue to spend every other day attached at the hip, trying to get the other into trouble. (another frenemy plot just w more headassary) gia, percy or luma as either.

24. both strong personalities on their own, a & b together are a force to be reckoned with. the two had a strong friendship, always supporting each other, until they both admitted their deepest secrets. when they sobered up, they decided they’d made a mistake, but weren’t willing to talk about it. now burdened with another secret that could hurt others, as well as knowing the other could ruin their own relationships at any moment, the pair have no idea how to act around each other. (basically friends who arent on the best terms rn after finding out each others deepest n darkest secrets which would have to be worked out obviously) tomas, natalya or mari as either.

25. much to their disgust, people are always asking a & b if they are related due to their constant bickering. after dating for years, the two felt they grew to know each other too well, ending the romantic relationship to just be friends. staying true to their word, they have remained incredibly close. whenever one has an embarrassing question or a disgusting story to share, it’s the other they text. they figure there’s no harm done as they’ve already seen each other at their worst. (romantic turned platonic) gia, bobbie, zach or beck.

26. a year ago, a would have done anything for b, believing they had the perfect, fairy-tale romance going on. truthfully, it was almost perfect, which is exactly why b felt the need to screw it up before they got too deep. in the long run, the carefully considered decision to cheat on a ended up hurting b just as much. now that a has moved on and is comfortable in b’s company again, they’ve begin to regret the loss. despite their previous fears, b has become determined to win a’s affection back. (romantic. angsty . whom knows) arabella, bobbie or luke as a. rosie or tomas as be.

27. a & b are described as being a package deal. you get both or you get none, one rarely being seen without the other. the best friends are known to take spontaneous trips without notifying anyone else, sometimes putting them at odds with the rest of their friends, who the two often accuse of being jealous of their friendship. because of their commitment to one another, a’s social life suffers due to b’s preference for staying in and hanging out one on one. while a tries to be understanding of b’s situation they can’t help the feeling of resentment that grows every time they turn down another invitation to stay at home with b. (best friends who have conflicting ideas of fun) bella, alanis, paris, percy or luma as a. wes, zach, natalya or helena as b.

28. a & b have become known for club hopping all night and drinking too much when together, often forcing them to cancel plans with their other friends the day after. because of this, everyone else has grown to dislike the pair’s friendship, but that only forces them closer together. it’s true that all they really do together is encourage each other’s bad habits, but they’re too busy having fun to notice. (again. pals who need to sort their priorities out but will they ? probably not.) luma, elizabeth, percy, cici or constance as either.

29.  for years, a & b have been confusing others with their constantly changing relationship status. they will spend a few months in an exclusive relationship, a few months in an open relationship, then a few months apart, only to go back and start all over again. currently on their third month of being together, everyone is watching and waiting for the cracks to show before walking away from the relationship yet again. (break up..make up.. total ..waste of.. time) zach, paris, mindy or gia as either.

30. often labeled as high school sweethearts, a & b have been serious for years. for a long time, the two shared an extremely conventional relationship, both very happy with their situation. however, with their lives changing in recent years, changes to the relationship were unavoidable. both feel neglected by the other more often than not, but whenever an issue is brought up, it only leads to an argument. while everyone else expects the two to get engaged any day now, a & b often question if they still really want to be together. (they dont actually have 2 be high school sweethearts just a couple thats been together ... for a long while n things are getting rough.) arabella, ajay, beck, zach or aja as either. alternatively could be an exes plot n a few yrs after the breakup n i can offer rosie, helena, natalya & luke on top of the others.

31. once close friends, a & b drifted apart when other relationships got in the way. even though they saw a lot of each other following, things between the two have been tense for years. after sharing a kiss in a silly game at a recent party, a & b were able to have a laugh together for the first time in forever. since then, their friendship has been on the mend, but this may not be a good thing. with both noticing some romantic feelings growing them, they suspect that their relationship may come to an uglier end this time. (ex pals turned crushes who truly are not compatible) bobbie, beck, zach or rosie as either.

32. a & b’s relationship is only a few months old, and the two are still very much in the honeymoon phase of things. flashing their pet names and exciting dates on instagram, they’ve convinced themselves that things are perfect. however, a appears to have taken the agreement that things between them should remain as relaxed as possible a little more seriously than b would have liked. a often fails to invite b to certain events and outings, assuming they would prefer not to go anyway. this grates on b’s nerves, who is beginning to feel that a doesn’t spend enough time with them. (a new relationship struggling between being casual n legit) paris, aja, ajay or gia as a. arabella, zach or beck as b.

33. despite already knowing each other, a & b weren’t all that close before hooking up. their friends with benefits arrangement lasted for months before they began seeing other people more seriously. since calling it off, the two have remained incredibly close, leading others to believe that their relationship is more than platonic. (fwb turned just friends but like ... there is potential) wes, angel, bobbie, ajay, zach or rosie as either.

[ajokeformur-ray]

1/2 Hello, i would like a House of night and HP match up please! I'm an INTP ravenclaw who adores history and art, taking naps and staying in on rainy days. I'm pretty playful with my friends even if I come across mean at times. There are very few ways you can make me do something unless I want it so you could say I'm pretty stubborn. I adapt quickly and have a chameleon type of personality for the most time.

2/2 I’m brutally honest and protective over the ppl who mean the most to me. I love sleep but i barely get any and my way of telling pp i care abt them is constantly quoting something dear to us. Travelling is something I wanna do more of in life. Level headed for the most part but when angered I’m salty asf for like, 5 mins? I forgive easily and am a little too reckless at times when something important to me is being questioned. Memes? Yes pls. Thank you!

HON - Erik Night

- INTPs are analytical and also very imaginative, and I think Erik would enjoy having intellectual debates about history and art, especially in how they tie up in Shakespeare’s works if you’re interested in that kind of art. He would likely nap with you if you wanted to, leaning against your doorframe with a smirk on his face and crossed arms. If you invited him in, time to nap. If not, no big deal, he’ll come back later. Rainy days are spent watching films together and cuddling; he’s not a big fan of the rain, either.

- Erik is mostly playful but if he’s jealous or annoyed, he’s mean even if he didn’t want to be initially. He’s actually quite stubborn too so arguments between the two of you would be quite explosive but I think you’d be the first to apologise, evening out the playing field. He often marvels at how quickly you adapt to any given situation and the way you’re able to blend in with whatever social group or situation you find yourself in at any given moment.

- Your brutal honesty is admirable and a trait that endears Erik to you. Your protectiveness meshes well with his own protectiveness, though sometimes his can turn possessive pretty quickly. He would encourage you to sleep whenever you had a spare hour and would use naps as a reason to get you to sleep. You may call it subtle manipulation on his part, but he calls it caring for his partner. Your constant quotes would never fail to get a glint in his gorgeous eyes and a smirk. He alway answers with the next thing said in the book, film or screenplay referenced.

- As a fully fledged Vampyre (woops, spoilers!), Erik gets to travel to different companies, cities and countries to perform or see performances and if he could get you out of the Academy, you’d get to go with him to see all these places. Your level-headed is important and he loves how you stay calm while he has to act being calm. Your saltiness amuses him when you’re angry if you’re angry at him, he retaliates with petty comments. When you get a bit reckless, he takes a moment to get you to see sense. It’s a rather loving relationship, with arguments over quickly and easily forgiven on both sides.

HP - James Potter 

Shoutout to @80s-addict for helping!

- James is all for napping at every spare moment! So when you’re in the Entrance Hall and there’s a free lesson or nothing to do, he’ll drag you off for a cuddle. He stays in with you on rainy days in front of the fire and he’d likely sneak you into the Gryffindor common room with his invisibility cloak, which he passes you easily at breakfast that very morning. 

- James is fiercely loyal, stubborn, intelligent and easy to get along with. Your combined stubbornness would cause arguments from time to time but you’d end up laughing halfway through because James would pull a face or say something to deliberately defuse the tension. He’d love how your chameleon personality means that you can get along with each of the Marauders and deal with each social situation they find themselves in.

- Your brutal honesty and sheer protectiveness are probably one of his favourite things about you, he always knows where the two of you stand with one another and that there are no games. He is always the same with you though he tends to be a bit softer with the truth, building up to something rather than being blunt. Whenever you quote something, it’s a sign for James and Sirius to reenact whatever you're quoting dramatically, and they’ll do it loudly and publicly. He’s forever tracing the black bags under your eyes with a gentle finger, frowning slightly as he asks how you slept the night before.

- Your saltiness amuses him even when it’s directed towards him. He’s soon begging on his knees, loudly, dramatically and in public, for you to forgive him. It doesn’t take much for you to do so, though, and he drmatically thanks you and kisses you soundly. When you’re being reckless, he’s likely to be reckless along with you but sometimes he does tell you to hold back and not do whatever it is you’re wanting to. During the summers when you visit him at his house, he invites you along with your family holidays so that you get to travel. You communicate in puns!

[vmgx16]

smol update on my life, im not sure why.. been so long since here, but sometimes i sit worried wondering how ppl i love but lost contact with are doing, always have this fear one day i’ll just never hear from some people again....  aaaanyway. Update. So i have been called several things several more times than expected, ppl say i have a mom like personality, and wow the amount of kinky i could get into surprised even me, specially with how much love and care is in it. 

Had gone through some pretty fucking awful times, me and two people i loved dearly and a friend spent months, maybe an year, in a sort of codependent hurricane of bad, we all suffered from really bad suicidal ideation, depression... it was a shitshow, but, still there was good moments, reasons why i loved them so much, and i knew they could get past it.... i used to not try to hope i would, id say id be happy enough if the two of them ended up happy, even if i died. Of course they said the same thing to themselves...  At some point i scared ppl too much and i was put into suicide watch. Psych obviously saw i was codependent, and it was either limiting my time being able to interact with them severely, or being put on the psychiatric hospital against my will. That time was not good. Had kinda put all the responsibility of their betterment onto me, but during a little bit i was actually in more immediate danger, so they were the ones worried over me... And, well, more complicated things happened, lots of them, i’m so glad we’ve all survived that.... 

It’d be a while before i learned something i had always seen wrong about empathy. i always valued it a lot... several times id try to define myself through it, and in some ways that hasn’t changed. But.. i had to learn that i could be there for others, help them, sympathize with them, but i shouldn’t forget that they’re them, and i’m me. Ever heard of vicarious trauma? i wouldn’t believe it was a thing a lot... i’d think it was me being selfish, trying to turn others’ traumas about me...  But, had same symptoms as trauma, having a word or a situation reminding me of certain things, id feel it immediately, at best a headache, somethings id be scared and panicked, and also things going over and over in my head, unable to leave, showing up in nightmares, also drive to retraumatisation, etc etc. It.. really sucked. It came from, when learning and attempting to help those i love, who had suffered from some really bad things, i didn’t allow myself to feel better than them, in my head id have to be just as miserable, since they didn’t deserve to be miserable, why should i get something better? So yeah, it was some kind of martyr complex, depression telling me i was an awful person often, and me trying to prove it wrong but the bar was beyond what my brain could withstand. i had to learn to put the O2 mask on myself before the next, i can’t help people if i harm myself while doing it. Ok that was a bit much... but.. good news!! We’ve met some amazing ppl lately, and our family is bigger. There’s.. this person who i feel about what id never expect id feel about anyone. Not at first though, it was real cliche how a misunderstanding, (and admittedly me not being the best, or smartest) caused me to kinda hate his guts really fucking hard for a bit. But like, i really dunno how id describe it, person i believe understands what i truly care about the most, and cared just as much if not more. We’re very oddly similar in some things, very very opposed in others, but even when i just can’t agree with him, we say arguments, debate points, and it’s just never destructive, it’s constructive. Of course, i had to learn a bit to get to there though, since, although ive always longed for being able to talk like that, he was some steps ahead of me when it came to having a personal method to do so. Oh, yeah, he is also a lot more intelligent than me, which really pushes me to become more intelligent myself every single day. My drive for self betterment has been better than ever in my life, i always did see i got better at things when there was someone who i wanted to see me succeed, but.. well, will just say it has been incredibly good for me

Oh and he’s so kinky!! It’s interesting, he doesn't even get horny that much, but he believes sex should be something way wayyyyy less taboo than it is in our society. Which, yes i totally agree with. Honestly though, some of the vicarious trauma stuff i said earlier, i thought there was somethings id never be able to see untainted again, some ways to express sexuality that would always remind me of certain horrible feelings, and im so happy i was proven wrong. 

Think i got ahead of myself a bit. I was saying how our family had gotten bigger. Well, the person i was just kinda fangirling about? He’s kinda the reason it did. Him and one of the people i loved met, and then both of them, and them they both were kinda into him a lot (that scared the shit outta me ngl XD), and there were people who already had met him, and people who both groups met mutually in this videogame modding community. My guess is that he has seen how so many servers you can end up meeting awesome ppl but also there are those who kinda try and play politics within, and how it was hard to actually keep these friendships along the time, and so he made a server for those friendships, and it slowly became a family. Gosh.. i could fangirl over each person in the castle for a long time...( oh yeah, server we call castle cuz he is into some medieval fantasy shit, which if you know me you’ll know that shit is my jam (like, fuck being called princess is still something that will get to my heart (although, usually nowadays i get more ‘slut’ or ‘queen’, not much in between XD ))) but one of the things ive learned is how to be more productive with my day, and like, i see now how long i’ve spent on what was supposed to be a very quick update. Seriously, that ‘smol’ up there was a liar. i’ll just say i love them a fucking hell of a lot, they’re snuggly, kind, smart, lovely people. And we all go through some shitty times still, being stronger doesn’t make us invulnerable, but we will support each other, and always get better at doing so. Sometimes it’s overwhelming.. and i get scared  First time in a long time... actually, since ever, except when i was too young to understand anything, where i can actually see any future i can be a part of. 

It’s funny, when i was actually a kid, what id imagine wasn’t too far from this, just well, i believed it was too fantastical to be real. (Although, id never foreseen, for several reasons, that it’d include me being a part of a harem XD which yes we lovingly call some of what we have a harem since most ppl are subby and he’s dommy, even when it’s not sexual CX)

TL;DR: i’m determined and more happy with where i am in life than i thought id get to be! Through good and bad waves, i may cry and fear, but as long as i carry with me the people i love in my heart, and i try to improve at every step, i know i can keep walking. And.. i do try to keep in my heart everyone who’s been important to me, even if i dont see them anymore.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Actually for me it's pretty weird that the most popular ship in Free! is Makoharu. I mean, they give me like zero romantic vibes, if not Rinharu I would've definitely shipped Sourin. It's the main reason I hated Sousuke when I watched 2nd season for the first time - I saw him as a threat for Rinharu (now I just don't like him that much, but I decided to let Rin has his best friend, lol). Maybe it's just me loving rivals to lovers :)

Well.. for me Free! was never that kind of anime where there are other ships, but honestly after several years of watching anime and lately discovering that people ship Wei Wuxian with Jiang Cheng I kinda lost my faith in people lol And yes, I also truly don’t get those ships, where there are zero romantic vibes, but I got used to seeing this already.

I think I’ve talked about Makoharu only once, I usually don’t do it cause as a ship it’s so illogical to me that I just don’t see the point of wasting time on this lol I feel like it’s gonna be long answer so I’ll split it and after “***” I’ll talk about my bro-rinharu-shipper Sousuke.

I’m not gonna throw a debate if it’s the most popular ship or not, but I just want to say that I don’t think that it's really called shipping Makoto and Haru, since firstly, let’s talk about Makoto as a character (which is the main problem in this whole thing tbh) cause from what I saw the Makoto the MH fandom created has nothing to do with the real Makoto. Like the dude is scared of dogs, ghosts, bees, water and I forgot what else; covers his eyes when he sees anyone even in swim trunks and gets embarrassed easier than a nun (apparently you can’t even unbutton the collar of your freaking jacket!!!!!!!!!!! oh lord!!!!!!); crumbles under everyone in this anime including Hiyori and can’t even talk back. 

And suddenly like half of this fandom thinks that Makoto is a dominant top apparently. We seriously laughed our asses off seeing that, I mean even my mom (who’s a teacher btw). I’m like... I have a sister who’s majored in psychology and I myself in literature (like I seriously promise we ain’t stupid) and we just seriously don’t understand.. In what Tarzan’s ass does he suit this description? Dude can’t even answer properly while being offended. Like maybe they like Makoto’s twin brother? Because real Makoto does not have any dangerous dark side, seriously, this ain’t “8 dogs of the east” lmao.

I appreciate their friendship at times, but I never was a fan of him, because I don’t really like people who treat everyone equally (friends and strangers) and think that some asshole deserves as much love as the closest friend. I just don’t understand this life position and don’t like those “world peace” guys anyway. I mean, that fish died moment in the books was when my brain died honestly. Like I get it, dude is sensitive, but... seriously?

And for me being kind is not really a personality. I mean, hell, sometimes it’s no good to be kind. There is a fine line between being kind and being a mop you know.

And sometimes his behavior is really cringy to me. Like during the funeral and during Haru passing out in the book and during many things that are very serious. I just don’t think he’s the person you can rely on at times. I mean at first I thought he’s a steady shoulder, but somehow in all serious situations he doesn’t do anything useful.

Like I might be in the minority here, but to me when you know very well that you panic in the ocean you don’t go there trying to save somebody, it’s not brave, it’s just plain stupid (like it’s not like the tent was far, it was fucking next to him, all he had to do is wake up a pro) so by the end we had to rescue two instead of one, just because he’s dumb af.

He also panics a lot which I really hate on people. I’m sorry but like panicking ppl are the only worst. It reminds me of one of my life situation when my sister was badly hurt and we needed to keep our heads cool to act quickly and do what was necessary asap. And I’ve seen ppl behave like Makoto in situations like this and man it’s seriously no fun, it’s annoying. Like when you need to help somebody and someone panics beside you it pisses you off. And he does it even in little things like when he yelled Haru in the ear while driving JUST BECAUSE A CAR IN FRONT OF THEM BRAKED I mean omfg I would seriously yell “shut the fuck up, you pussy!”

And it all honestly keeps getting worse and worse like the way he’s written, his behavior just buffles me so much. Makoto in s3 just murdered me tbh. Like he didn’t help with anything, he didn’t bring anything to the plot, you can just erase him, he only sat there anyways. And the way they pulled his “dream” out of his ass was just a second-hand embarrassment tbh. And he’s not even Haru’s emotional support anymore. He’s just... I don’t get it. There were literally scenes where he was third-wheeling or just forced into that looked laughable. 

Which brings me to the second point. From what I saw many of Makoharu fans are mostly Makoto fans, so they just want what’s good for him, and since he has no life goals whatsoever (like after he dropped his “I dream of making children like swimming” thingy like a hot potato and was like “training children.. but look at Rin and Haru” I really lost my last marbles watching him) they apparently don’t care for what Haru’s dream is and that he said openly that he wants a future with Rin.

Like I get that everyone has their tastes, but like what.. two people who are crazy about each other since twelve and blossomed a dream of having a future together and the thought of being with each other got them through and they finally have what they wanted.. this is not a trend anymore? Mutual romantic love is not a trend anymore? Like I even without novelization can see that (and I quote Rin word for word here) that “every time he sees Haru his heart beats so fast he can’t calm down” and quote “Haru sees Rin and he’s shaking, he closes his eyes desperately trying get rid of the image, but the pain in his chest doesn’t go away”.

I am personally very happy that Rinharu are finally together and will be doing what they wanted in their life by each other’s side, cause they’ve been dreaming about it for too long, they’ve been thinking about it for  years. So not wanting them to have that is very weird for me. And the argument that Makoto somehow better than Rin for Haru is so invalid, I always laugh. I guess it depends on what you want for yourself. But honestly like you guys better find someone who make you want to reach for the stars and make you heart skip a bit everytime you see him.

So I as a huge fan of Haru want my boy to fly and now I have all the canon proof for those who were blind that Rin is the only one (been said) who makes him feel that way. So all those anons who kept writing to me how relay with Sosuke, with Rei and what baffled me the most swimming with Ikuya was just as emotional for them can finally shut it (lmao I’m sorry).

***

Now... Sousuke, my bro, the first Rinharu shipper on the village who helped them to get together is a threat? Okay. Well, I actually like s2, there are some dumb episodes but s2 actually to me showed how rinharu relationships are different from anyone else. There are literally two whole episodes and several scenes of how the bROMANCE prevails over BROmance.

Sousuke and Rin have typical brothers relationship. From their secret handshakes “parent trap” style to the fact that they draw them exactly the same with his real brother. I mean I don’t know if anyone noticed, but in 3x11 they drew Sousuke doing the exact same teasing move with Rin, that his older brother did to him in 3x01, and it’s definitely not a coincidence. Which means he treats him like his little bro, and not just that. I have lots of proof.

You know, I had a friend back at university who had an older brother who she was very close with and she kept telling me about how he kept testing her boyfriends if they’re good enough... I mean Sousuke was doing it with Haru since Rin has told him that he has found his one and only. And it never ever looked like he was possessive of Rin and was like “he’s mine”, it was always like “he’s yours so make sure you make him happy you loser”, he even stalked Haru to see if he still swims alright which is really funny (like okay dad), so by the end of the season when Rin lovingly looks at Haru and says it was all worth it, Sousuke looks very content like he was sure that they’re all good now.

And that moment like in Yakusoku where Rin dropped Sousuke as soon as he saw Haru, I honestly don’t think it’s the kind of jealousy people think it is. It’s like if I asked my sister “do u want to see the new avengers movie” and she’d answer “sorry, I already promised to go with my boyfriend” (not that this would ever happen, but let’s imagine that she found herself her nanase) I would be fucking upset too, but I would kinda get it (if it’s a love of her life I mean). Or like literally imagine you lived with your best friend for years and suddenly she wants to move in with he boo. I mean it happens sometimes. But it’s not the jealousy really, he’s just sad because he knows that he needs to let Rin go and he won’t spend as much time with him as he did before. Sousuke knows how much Rin loves Haru, plus after he saw that Haru is as good as Rin told him, he started to like him himself so he was worried about both of them. 

And I love Sousuke, he’s our godmother. I’d rather have him on the international team than Ikuya but he sadly he doesn’t swim breaststroke or back and we only have one butterfly and one freestyle spot xD

I’m sincerely saying as a person with two siblings that I really don’t see it. It’s just there’s a huge difference between brothers and lovers. And you can’t call Harurin bros. It’s just laughable. Even if you haven’t read anything and just watched the anime.

I mean I think it’s easier to see if you try to imagine Haru in Sousuke’s place in any Sourin scene and see how it would’ve went then. Like do you remember when Sousuke asked for cola and Rin went to get one and there was only one can left so they rock-paper-scissored it and Rin won and drank it?

Now imagine if Haru was there in Sousuke’s place. I can tell you 100% that Rin would’ve just given him the can. And then he would’ve looked at him with that face he makes when he’s content just by watching Haru eat, you know.

I mean it just how I see it. And there are a lot of comparable scenes in s2 that bring me lots of evil joy, but I won’t tell lmao.

But as I said before to me there’s a huge difference between bromances and bromances. So I mostly don’t get most of these ships. I don’t understand anything in this world apparently lol but I only see Rinharu since the first time I’ve watched it, and then I’ve read everything and realized that I’m right, so I’m ok with all this xD