#and edward norton realizes how fucked up everything got when he's in way too deep and can't get out anymore

[littlebigmouse]

I saw Fight Club for the first time yesterday and to the best of my memory, this was the second time I consciously noticed Edward Norton in a movie (I have a bad memory for actor's names and faces, I may have seen him around but wouldn't know).

The first time was Primal Fear.

This makes Edward Norton the second most specific type cast in hollywood in my book (right after the actress who played cinderella's evil stepsister in like, three different adaptations).

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 9 – Orange Sportsball Fight Club

In which Kevin wants a sweet piece of Andrew’s ass Exy skills, I make too much references to too many things, and Seth can go get lost in like, a murderous fire or something.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

This chapter, which is sadly very short, serves as a reminder that even though the last few chapters were more fun than games (although the exact portion of ‘fun’ is debatable), the ‘games’ part does still play a significant role: It’s the return of ORANGE SPORTSBALL!

           “The next time I come for you, you will follow me,” Kevin said.

           “Why?” Neil asked.

           “It’s time to collect what’s mine”, Kevin said.

Possessive, much? I know he’s talking about Neil’s ~game~ that Neil promised him a few chapters ago, bla bla bla. Doesn’t sound like it.

That night, Kevin comes to collect his boy Josten for some sweet late night Exy action. Suspicious? Absolutely fucking yes.

           “I’ll be back later,” Neil said over his shoulder.

           “Are you stupid?” Seth asked.

           “Yeah,” Neil said.

Ngl, I laughed way too hard at that.

           Neil thought about the last time he’d gone to the court in the middle of the night and found Andrew watching Kevin practice. It made him wonder how many times they did this.

Side note: Don’t these boys ever, like…………. chill? Do normal things? Hang out after practice, play poker, see bad movies, eat some chili fries?

Deep sigh. At least Neil is the same sort of Extra Dramatic Fixated Sportsball-Head. At least he knows what he’s getting himself into.

Oh wait.

No, he fucking doesn’t.

Kevin personally gives him additional, Ravens-inspired Exy training in a way that I can only describe as ORANGE SPORTSBALL FIGHT CLUB. Seriously, I read those passages and all I can see is Brad Pitt meeting Edward Norton late at night and telling him he needs to be Tough™.

The 1st rule of Sportsball Fight Club is: You do not talk about Sportsball Fight Club.

The 2nd rule is: You DO NOT talk about Sportsball Fight Club.

The 3rd rule is: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, you hit him in the face with a ball because you ain’t training with no quitters.

The 4th rule is: Only two guys on the court, and only one messed-up murder maniac in the stands.

…and so on.

Neil, obsessed nerd that he is, doesn’t mind one bit, though.

           Kevin called it quits at twelve thirty. Neil was disappointed to stop after just two hours, but as he helped Kevin collect their balls and cones, fatigue started to set in.

You literally just got chased around the court by a guy who insults you every waking moment of your life, for two hours, doing nothing but throwing balls and running complicated laps, and you still don’t have enough? Jesus fuckin’ what.

Also, please imagine that I absolutely did not snicker at “collecting their balls”. God, am I 12? Yup.

Orange Sportsball Fight Club has one major benefit, though: The ice between Kevin and Neil begins to thaw – which, in Kevin Day World, means he only wants to choke Neil like, 22/7. (And not the sexy kind of choking.)

Sigh. It’s the small things that count.                

Speaking of small things! Aaron has some issues, apparently.

           “You think he’s ever going to forgive us?” Nicky asked.

           “Does it matter?” Aaron said. “He’s not our problem.”

Harsh, dude.

Also, wrong. You literally all live with Neil, your athletic and academic future depends on his performance on the team, one of your closest friends’ abusive father might come to haunt you if it turns out Neil isn’t trustworthy, and also your brother is going to be even more insufferable if he doesn’t get to bone him soon. I’d say he very much is your damn problem.

My PMF Nicky shares this opinion:

           “What do you mean, he’s not our problem?” Nicky asked. (…)

           “I want to be left alone.”

           “This is a team sport!”

You tell him, Nicks. There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’, but there is an ‘a’ for ‘arrogant’ in ‘Aaron’. Oh wait, there’s two! Amazing.

(I also have the feeling there’s backstory here that I’m missing. Oh well. It’ll come back to bite me in the ass at some point anyways.)

           Nicky affected a wounded look and tilted his entire body toward Matt. “Aaron hurt my feelings! Kiss it better, Matt?”

           “Faggot,” Seth said, stalking out.

Seriously no one asked you for your shitty opinion you ass-faced monkey shitbrain.

Sadly, Sir McFuckface isn’t done giving is his opinions yet. (He has a lot of those.)

           “I’m sick of him getting everything he wants just because he’s Kevin Day,” Seth said. (…) “Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. (…) But tell me, when’s the last time anyone cried for you? Never, right?”

Oh my gooood what the heeeeell shut uppppppppppppppppp.

Go die in like, a fire or something.

Is this guy around for much longer? I hope he transfers to the damn Ravens or Bayern München or the Chudley Cannons or goddamn Pigfarts, see if I care.

(Those are p much all the sports teams I know. Bear with me.)

I seriously cannot wait till he fucks off in some way. Ugh.

This chapter was ridiculously short, so, to make up for that – and because I realized I only have five chapters left of this book what – here are some predictions about what will happen before the end of the book:

Neil will be able to do all of the Raven drills eventually

Nicky and Neil will talk about the Club Situation

Alternatively, and even better: Andrew and Neil will talk about the Club Situation

MORE KANDREIL TIMES hopefully

Either Riko or Coach Moriyama will appear

We will learn something about Renee’s backstory

Coach Wymack will be the best person alive JINX I know that’s gonna happen #dicksoutforwymack

Neil will say more beautiful and savage things, dropping shade left and right

Seth will fuck off to somewhere (a girl can dream okay)

(If anyone actually tells me anything about any of these I’m blocking you. Spoilers – Don’t f*ckin do them.)