#and dw i'm alright i got support and stuff

[il3x]

still absolutely. OUGH. over that expression. it reads so clearly as a deliberate signalling of ambient distress, but in a cynical way: "I dare you to say something." Like, testing if they really care, or if they just want to get the convo over with. A vicious kind of satisfaction when they do just breeze past it, and her worldview (negative though it is) is vindicated. And it's a resigned ambient distress; This is how things are, I dare you to try and change them. If I tried you'll surely fail. And like... like the thing about validating her worldview... the negative headspace is so ingrained, it feels right, it feels comfortable. it's as much a part of the least-resistance comfort as the blanket and comfy sit and dark room and ergonomic chair.

A Lisa I’ve had swimming around in my wips since I read Ward 10.x

There’s something about her sitting alone in the dark with a computer being semi-comfortable but also just being the absolute worst to herself and her migraines that gets me 🙃

[bugsmunched]

" Deep Breaths, Sweetheart" - Logan Howlett x Trans! Man! Reader

Request:

hiii i have a request if that's alright:-) i absolutely loved your logan x trans!man!reader fic so would it be possible to have that again? logan helps & comforts the reader on a bad dysphoria day, helping with binding, taking the t-shot & stuff like that, maybe taking the reader out on a date for distraction or cooking at home, you decide:'-) all the gentle affirmations & mental health support without judging♡ might've gone a lil self-indulgent here i'm sorry😅

Requested by @chrrywvea

Tw: AFAB READER! TRANS READER! gender dysphoria, binding, needle mentions, tooth rotting fluff, fluffy nudity, fluffy shower scene,neck kissing, reader has a happy trail, cute domestic shit, gentle praise, affirmations, Logan is cute as hell, Logan worships reader,

WC: 2,680

Requests are open! And dw more Logan x FTM reader is soon to come! (As a trans man myself I find these really comforting)

Hello all my fellow trans men, I see that you enjoyed my last fic with an FTM reader and Logan Howlett, so here's some more! I hope this is sufficient!

You groaned a little bit as you felt your body begin to wake up, sunlight being gently filtered through Logan's thin curtains. You moved the blanket a little bit so it was covering your face, blocking the light from hitting your eyes. You went to roll over to turn away from the window, only to realize that a pair of strong arms were keeping you from moving. You smiled a little bit to yourself, melting into the comfort of being held by your boyfriend.

You laid still for a little while until your legs started to get a little restless. You did your best to wiggle out of the brunette's tight grasp, giggling a little bit when his grip only tightened. He pulled you closer to him, your back pressed flush against his chest, his lips near your ear.

“And where are you going, mister?” He asked, his voice gravely from having just woken up, his breath hot on your ear.

“‘m just trying to readjust, Lo..not trying to go anywhere, the sun is just in my eyes. “ You hummed softly, stifling a laugh as he wrapped his arms tighter around you before lifting you and flipping you around so you were no longer facing the window.

“Is that better, sweetheart?” He asked softly as he placed a tender kiss to your forehead, his eyes tracing the shape of your face. No matter how many mornings the two of you woke up in bed together, he would always study your face, like he was trying desperately to memorize each curve.

“Mhm..much better..now I got a much better view too..” you murmured softly, looking up at him with nothing but love in your eyes.

“The view from here is absolutely magnificent…” he said with a little chuckle, adjusting a little bit so his face was buried in your neck. You giggled a little at the feeling of his beard scratching the sensitive skin of your neck. He took a few deep breaths, pressing a few delicate and loving kisses to the side of your neck.

“You're laying it on a little thick there, Wolvy..” you giggled softly, a hand tangling in his hair as you just let him place living kisses against your neck.

“Personally, I think I'm not giving you enough affection, my prince. “ He hummed gently, the vibrations of his deep voice making you giggle again.

You paused for a moment and then groaned, closing your eyes a little bit as the realization hit you. “ It's shot day…” you whined softly, “damnit. “

Logan chuckled a little bit and pulled away from your neck, looking into your eyes. “ Yeah, my love, it is shot day. “

You whined and covered your face with your hands. You always dreaded shot day- perhaps it was the fact that you chose to get it bi-weekly, and by the end of the two weeks your hormones seemed all out of wack. Or maybe it was the fact that in order to appear more as a man you had to take a shot, and you couldn't do it naturally. It could've also been your fear of needles, those things always freaked you out, even before you had to take testosterone shots. You weren't exactly sure why you hated shot day, but you knew that without Logan it would be one of the worst days out of the month.

“Hey, hey…sweetheart, it's okay…” Logan hummed softly as he pulled your hands away from your face, looking at you with a smile that could simply make you melt. “I'm here, my beloved. You know I'll do everything in my power to make sure today goes well, okay?” he reassured you gently, arms wrapping tightly around you as he squeezed softly.

You sighed a little bit, relaxing into your boyfriend's touch. His large frame feeling heavy against your own, similar to a weighted blanket. “you promise?”

“I promise, sweetheart. “ He hummed softly, kissing the side of your face lovingly. “I would never let anything happen to you, my handsome boy. “

You closed your eyes, nuzzling into Logan's warm touch, feeling yourself relax at his calming words. “I love you, Logan. “ You hummed softly.

“I love you too, sweetheart. “ He said as he placed a kiss to your nose before he unwrapped his warm arms from your body and sat up, stretching a little bit.

You whined at the loss of contact and made grabby hands at him, sticking out your bottom lip in a pout. “ Come back!” You whined softly.

Logan chuckled and ruffled your hair gently before he stood up, shaking his head at your whiny protest. “ C'mon, darling, we've got to get the day started. “ He said as he extended a hand for you to grab.

Reluctantly you grabbed onto his hand as he pulled you out of bed and into his arms, hoisting you to your feet. “ Atta boy. “ He praised gently with a smile, making you blush a little bit under his gaze.

He gently led you over to the closet and started picking out clothes. For you he picked out one of his favorite shirts- so it smelled like him– a pair of boxers, and a pair of his sweats. He always loved how you looked in his clothes, plus they made you feel a little more euphoric, especially on your shot days.

You reached forward and grabbed your binder, Logan giving you a look. “ Sweetheart, I don't think we're planning on leaving the manor today…”

You shrugged a little bit and held onto the black fabric. “ I promise I won't wear it for longer than 8 hours, okay Lo? It'll just make me feel better…” you explained, looking at him with big eyes.

He nodded in understanding, “ okay but I'm setting a timer as soon as you put it on, okay handsome boy?” He asked with a smile as he began to pick out his own clothes. He grabbed a plain black shirt that tended to cling to his torso, a matching pair of boxers, some jeans and a flannel in your favorite color. That was one of your favorite outfits of his, and he knew it.

He grabbed your hand and led you into the bathroom, setting all the clothes on the counter as you placed your binder on top of your pile. He quickly walked over to the shower and turned it on, making sure it was at the perfect temperature for you. He didn't care if it was too hot or cold for him, he wanted you to be as comfortable as possible.

Your hands went to the hem of your shirt to take it off before arms wrapped around you, Logan replacing your hands with his own. You smiled and lifted your arms up as he helped remove your shirt, his eyes lingering on your figure.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed softly, your eyes gravitating towards your chest. You felt the instinctive urge to cover yourself, but Logan gently held your hands. “ Look at my handsome boy…” he whispered gently as he head dipped down into the crook of your neck, leaving gentle kisses on the warm skin.

“I don't feel like it…” you gawked at your own body, letting out a soft sigh.

“Oh please sweetheart, I have a bigger rack than you do..” Logan hummed against your skin, his beard and sideburns scratching gently at the delicate skin. He sucked gently at your collarbone, but not enough to leave any marks. His intentions were to just ground you and keep you from getting too upset with how your body looked.

You laughed a little bit at his words, a smile spreading across your face. It was kind of true, he did have a massive rack- and you could never stop staring at his pecs. “You're just saying that. “

He shook his head, a hand resting on your waist, rubbing circles into the supple skin with his thumb. “You know that I’d never say something that I didn't mean, sweetheart. Especially not to the handsomest boy in the world. “

You hummed softly as he kissed up your neck delicately, a hand sliding down your body and grabbing the hem of your sleep shorts. He gently pulled them down as you allowed him. You stood in front of the mirror, now completely nude with your boyfriend burying his face into your neck, his hands resting on your waist.

He looked up from your neck for a moment and made eye contact with you in the mirror before his eyes trailed down, lingering on the little happy trail that laid on the bottom of your stomach. He smiled and looked back up, looking at your eyes through the mirror. “Look at you…” he exclaimed softly, his eyes full of nothing but love. You loved mornings like this, where he just took his sweet time to appreciate your body- but not even in a sexual way. He just lovingly and innocently appreciated your body, acting like you were sculpted by the universe itself.

You shivered a little bit at the cold air of the bathroom, melting into the warmth behind you. “ C'mon, Lo..” you hummed softly, playfully pushing his head away from your neck. He whined a little bit but complied as he stepped back from you, pulling off his own shirt and boxers.

You couldn't help but stand there, mouth agape for a moment. Your eyes lingered downwards, committing the layout of his abs to memory. You swore that his body was absolutely perfect. He laughed a little bit, “eyes up here, sweetheart. “ He said, making you blush slightly.

You looked up at him with a smile, feeling like you were falling in love all over again. He grabbed your hand and gently led you into the shower, a sigh exiting your lips as the water hit your front. He smiled softly, stepping in behind you and holding onto your waist once again. He pressed his chest against your back.

He reached up with one arm and grabbed the shower head, his other hand cradling your head gently as you let yourself relax. He let the water rush over your hair, massaging the strands gently to let it soak up water before he put the shower head back up, grabbing your bottle of shampoo.

He poured some into his hand and lathered it for a moment before he began massaging it into your scalp, your head leaning into his fingers. You wished that this moment could last forever, the two of you pressed so close together as he just cared for you.

Soon enough he began to rinse out your hair, letting the suds run down your body. He made sure to get it all out, not wanting grease and grime to build up on your hair. He then grabbed the conditioner and rubbed it into your ends, being almost too delicate with his touch.

He began to wash his own hair as the two of you waited for the conditioner to set in your hair, the strong pine scent of his shampoo filling your nose. It was strong, but it always smelled wonderful, mainly because it reminded you of him.

Soon enough he rinsed your conditioner out of your hair, soon following with his own head. He then grabbed the bottle of soap and your sponge. “You want to do it? “ He asked softly. He always washed your hair for you, but left it up to you on who washed your body, knowing you could be a bit shy about it.

You grabbed the sponge from his hand and nodded softly, pouring some soap into it and beginning to lather it up. “Okay, my love. “ He spoke gently, grabbing his own sponge and doing the same.

After a few moments, the two of you exited the shower, Logan turning off the water as he wrapped a fluffy towel around your body. He wrapped himself in another towel, looking at you with a bright smile. He grabbed another towel and started to gently dry your hair, making sure that it wasn't dripping wet.

After both of you were sufficiently dry, he walked over to the counter and grabbed your pile of clothes first, handing you your boxers. You pulled them on, reaching out for your binder as he shook his head. “Can I put it on you darling? I promise to be careful. “ He asked softly.

You smiled gently and nodded, raising your arms in the air once again as you grabbed the binder, pulling it over your head and down your chest. He smiled softly as he helped to flatten the fabric against your chest, kissing your nose quickly. “ My boy.” He hummed softly, watching as you glanced past him to look in the mirror.

He could tell that your head was swimming with thoughts, so he gently grabbed your chin and made you look at him, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss for just a moment before pulling away. “ My handsome boy, you have nothing to worry about, alright? Your body is absolute perfection, every last bit of it. Don't worry that handsome little head of yours, my prince. “ He said gently, looking you up and down for a moment.

He backed away and put his own clothes on, leaving you in your boxers and binder. He opened the bathroom cabinet and pulled out a vile of testosterone and a boxed syringe. He sat down on a chair that the two of you had put in the bathroom a little while ago and patted his lap gently.

You walked over and gently sunk into his lap, back pressed against his chest. He opened an alcohol wipe and gently began to clean an area on your stomach, letting it dry for a few moments. “Are you ready, baby boy?” He asked softly, grabbing the syringe.

You nodded hesitantly, looking away from the syringe. You hated needles. He prepared the syringe, drawing the testosterone from the vial. “ Alright, deep breaths, sweetheart.”

You closed your eyes tightly and tried to relax, giving a little bit of a high pitched whine as you felt the needle. After a minute you opened your eyes and saw a pretty yellow bandaid on the injection site. “Done already?” You asked softly, with a bit of surprise.

“Yeah, sweetheart, done already. It was quick and easy. “ Logan said softly as he tossed the used syringe into the sharps container you two had in the bathroom. He leant down and pressed a kiss to your temple, “ and you did such a good job, darling. Such a good job. “ He praised gently as he rubbed your sides gently.

He grabbed your waist and picked you up as he stood up, placing you steady on your feet. “ Alright, let's get you dressed the rest of the way, then we can go have breakfast, okay?” He asked softly, giving you a toothy grin.

You nodded and started to pull on the pair of sweatpants, lifting your arms up so he could pull his shirt over your head. You brought the fabric up to your nose and took a deep breath. It smelt like him. It smelt like home.

He stared at you for a moment, rubbing his beard with his hand. He just stood there, taking you in, staring in awe at how amazing you looked in his clothes.

After a moment he leaned forward and grabbed you by your sides, pulling you in close, so that your chests were flushed together. You giggled a little bit at the sudden motion, burying your face into his chest. He rested his head on yours, wrapping his arms tightly around you. “ Mine. Mine mine mine. “ He said, happiness lacing his voice. “My handsome, adorable, perfect boy. “ He hummed softly.

You giggled a little bit as his grip only got tighter. “ Lo! “ You squealed, “ let me go!” You giggled softly, wiggling in his grasp a little bit. He sighed and reluctantly let you go, staring down at you.

“C'mon sweetheart, let's get you some breakfast. “

[ritsusakumawife]

!!IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Elyria here. First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for the past seven months. (I can't believe this blog is that old already. I still think it's been a month or so.)

While I've only written like two? Three? Fics, it's still been a great time. I got to release some of my delusions somewhere, haha.

There's still so much I want to write about and improve on, but unfortunately, my journey ends here. It may have been short, but it was still memorable.

This next part is kind of like a TMI or might even be triggering for some people.

The whole reason we started this blog was, honestly, just for me. I've been struggling a bit and wanted a way to release some stress, and since we all liked fictional characters and bonded over them and stuff, we eventually came up with the idea of the Ritsusakumawife blog.

Rin handled the blog creation (Hence why this blog ended up being a side blog and not like a main one lol. She messed up on that part but it’s alright)

After the masterlist and etc were done came the writing..I wasn't sure how to do it at first, so I let someone post something first, that being Valerie, since she had more experience in writing and I just felt like seeing her in action and watching her write, would give me pointers?? An idea on how to start writing? and then I kind of built up on that. If that makes sense??

But I still couldn't build up the courage to post smth so the burger fic came to life.

It was written by "N" or 🍔 to show me that I didn't have to write anything serious/good. It can be something silly, stupid, outrageous, etc.

And I really appreciate them doing all this for me. Everyone went out of their way to try and help me. And I'm very grateful for that.

(We even had little therapy sessions where I basically just vent lmao)

Unfortunately, some things are just out of my control, so I'm choosing to leave this little blog project. Things are just too overwhelming right now, and I can't release my stress, etc., into writing like I want to. (Dw too much though, I’m not depressed depressed just a bit overwhelmed with life rn)

I've already talked about this decision with the others and about what will happen to this blog since its "main purpose" will be somewhat useless now.

Will this blog be deactivated or deleted? The answer is no.

It'll still be up and running; the only difference is that I'm gone. Maybe I will come back and leave behind online footprints, or whatever you call them, but for now, I just want to take a break from online and try to get my life together. Because while I may be perfectly healthy physically, the stress and stuff are taking a toll on my mental health, so yeah, I'm taking an indefinite break online(ofc also meaning that I won’t be in contact with any of my online friends) and will work on obtaining a much healthier mental health.

Of course, my mental health isn’t just the reason I’m leaving.

The truth is, I’m moving back to my hometown (due to personal reasons), which is in another country than the one I’m currently residing in.

At most, the only one who'll know about my well-being will be "N" (because we're siblings lol) and my family.

Note from the other mods:

Since Elyria is leaving, this blog may or may not be abandoned until her return. (If she ever decides to return, that is. If not, we'll respect her decision and wish her the best of luck with whatever challenges face her.)

Also, like said above, Elyria will be moving to her hometown, and since she wishes to remove her presence in the online world, that means we (Valerie and Rin) won't be in contact with her for an indefinite time.

It's a bit hard knowing that your friend is going through a bad time and you won't be there to check in on them, but we want to respect her wishes.

For now, all we can do is hope and pray that she'll overcome these challenges and take on life with a smile. It will be a hard journey, but we have faith that she'll get through it, especially with the support of her family.

P.S you better take good care of her N or I swear we will fly over there and give you the scolding of a life time >:(

Extra info for those that might wonder:

Since Elyria and N are siblings and Elyria is leaving the blog, will N leave too? The answer is yes and no.

He won’t be leaving the blog completely, and he will still be one of the "mods,” but he won’t post fics since he also mostly just got dragged here to be a mod lol.

And lastly, the Ayato fic

Like said before, if I(Val) were to discontinue it, I was planning on handing the project over to Elyria but seeing as that’s not possible it’ll be either discontinued or be in an indefinite hiatus. If I do decide to continue it someday, it’ll just be posted on my main blog