#and didn't actually do it til I was 27

[starboundsingularities]

the jurist system seems really cool i hope they keep using it :-)

27 notes

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "court" me any time

🧊 just--ice Follow

try.

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "try" me any time

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. are you a lawyer. because you can "try" to "court" me any time

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i on trial.

🌈 lawsbian Follow

i'm determined to make this work btw

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. law

🔪 violencekilling Follow

hey girl. are you a murderer. because ow ough ouch agh stop stabbing me

732,390 notes

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

guys watch out hes gonna shelly de kill you

293,485 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

they called me to the witness stand and the defense attorney just shouted "BOOOOOO WE HATE YOUR PUSSY"

43,618 notes

🧇 edible-evidence Follow

look if i was on trial and the guy prosecuting me started advertising his music i'd just plead guilty. avoid the embarrassment of getting put in prison by a guy who basically used the trial to say "this blew up btw here's my soundcloud"

97,384 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

💞 lawveyourself Follow

didnt miles edgeworth defend someone in a case once

⛲ fountainoftruth Follow

do you know the difference between a prosecutor and a defense attorney

270,934 notes

💟 longingforyou Follow

being rivals isn't enough i need to kiss you

💟 longingforyou Follow

who the fuck is evil magistrate

💟 longingforyou Follow

STOP TAGGING THIS WITH LAWYERS?????

584,769 notes

🐈 nyattorney Follow

they hired a guy to stand in court and shout "GET A ROOM YOU TWO" whenever the lawyers start getting a little too homoerotic

976 notes

💥 courtroomchaos Follow

your honor i know all the evidence points to my client being guilty. but come on you have to admit he kinda ate right

💼 courtofwaw Follow

mia fey when they had phoenix wright on trial

20,475 notes

🔍 thuthseeker Follow

ok hot take but i feel like these lawyers should maybe not be allowed to drag literal children to court with them?? how many people have gotten genuinely actually fucking SHOT in court and they're just ok bringing fucking 8 year olds in?

12,475 notes

💼 courtofwaw Follow

happy almost christmas to all who celebrate

💫 dizzydreamers124 Follow

it's march

🎄 holidazed Follow

happy almost christmas :)

😈 knownjaywalker Follow

WHO is putting this on my dash

👁️ cymorgue Follow

STOP POSTING THIS. IT IS JUNE.

🐼 pandastar91 Follow

ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

1,589,589 notes

💽 platinumcourtrecord Follow

evil gavinners be like. innocent hate. this is a nothing post

19,384 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

STOP asking me about the dl-6 post idc idc look even phoenix wright forged evidence once shut up

📕 lexculpatory Follow

he didn't forge the evidence, though. it was kristoph gavin who ordered the forgery. this was covered in the trial of vera misham. if you're going to try to compare yourself to well known figures, you could at least check the veracity of your claims.

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

yeah well. he might have. on a different case or something.

73 notes

🃏 thecourtjester Follow

i tried to take the bar exam but they didnt let me because i wasnt cunty and traumatized enough

57,384 notes

😇 innosense Follow

683,876 notes

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

when will global studios realize that i do not WANT another shitty steel samurai spinoff i just want the original show back

7,094 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

she present on my evidence til i reach a verdict

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

WRONG BLOLG. DON'T REBLOG THIS. DELETE POST DELETE POST DELETE POST I SWEAR WE'RE PROFESSIONALS HERE

17,283 notes

👑 courtroyals Follow

"we need more great prosecutors" you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma

🧊 just--ice Follow

didn't he kill someone?

👑 courtroyals Follow

irrelevant. you guys couldn't handle him.

587 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

law: i'm so law

lawyer, who needs to one up everyone no matter what: i'm more law than you

🏛️ lawyest Follow

hi

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

you've got to be fucking kidding me

183,834 notes

🧊 just--ice Follow

why is it always murders with lawblr. why don't we ever talk about divorce or something

[rockwgooglyeyes]

Ta-da!! All four of my Alien Stage OCs in stunning technicolor! (not necessarily stunning im just making a joke) but yeah here are the official colors/designs for my little guys when they're at the Garden!

Notes to add context to their appearances/backgrounds:

At the time of the current competition (season 39), Onyx is actually 20 years old, being about nine months older than Dian (Di's turning 20 on the 13th of October!). They're both comparatively pretty young though. Nausi is 26-27 and Yumi will be 18 during her season.

Nausikaa's eyes are no longer heterochromatic because I wanted Yumi's to be and I didn't want to double up. They're like . . . reptile/cat yellow now, which lines up with her other predatory features

Dian, Nyx and Nausikaa's hair grow naturally in reddish-orange, grey/black, and teal respectively, due to genetic modifications and specific breeding. On the other hand, Yumi's hair is naturally brown but her bangs are almost always bleached to keep up with her dual-toned image.

Yumi is the youngest, she'll be participating in Season 40, as she was in the same class as @alien-til-i-stage's Macbeth and Inna. She's babey (in presentation and age. do not ask her about the horrors because she knows them all too well)

Nyx is mixed Korean and European (maybe Irish because of his coloring?), Dian is Mexican/Filipino/Indonesian, Nausikaa is Egyptian/Greek, and Yumi is predominantly Korean (as in, she has some other ancestry but none of it is significant enough to be noteworthy)

[lemoncrushh]

OLD FICS REPOSTING

STARTING MONDAY, JULY 8...

I will begin reposting my three completed long fics. These are multi-chaptered fics that I wrote between 2015 and 2018. Please note, these are all Harry x OC fics, two are AUs and one is Real Harry.

I WILL BE POSTING ONE CHAPTER OF EACH FIC PER DAY. So, you can follow along easily or wait til the end and binge them all.

Below is a brief synopsis of each fic, along with warnings. ALL THREE ARE OLDER WOMAN OCs. If this is not your thing, or it turns you off, PLEASE do not read. I got hate for these in the past (and some snarky comments on Wattpad), and I am just too old and tired to defend them anymore. In my opinion, the age thing shouldn't matter, but I would rather put it out there first before I get messages about it.

Just PLEASE REMEMBER TO BE KIND. I have a heart just like everybody else, and I am sensitive. I enjoy interacting with readers and other writers. Feedback is always appreciated, but rude comments will be blocked.

Obviously, you must be over 18 to read my fics.

Summary: After a few years of being a housewife, Tisa Jordan decided to go back to school. Hoping to find inspiration and a new direction in life, she didn't expect to meet Harry Styles, a handsome British twenty-year-old.

When It Was Written: I started this fic around the end of 2014 when I'd just become a Harry fan, and it was completed in 2015. It was my very first Harry fic.

The Characters and Face Claims: This Harry is 20 (he turns 21 at the end), and Tisa is 32. The girl for the face claim of Tisa was just a model in a random stock photo I found, so I don't know who she is. The character Zack is based on Zayn, and Penny is based on Perrie Edwards. Also, I think I used Ashton Irwin for the face claim of Joey, Liam for Grayson, Olivia Wilde for Justine (complete coincidence, I promise lol), Renee Olstead for Liz, and Lea Michele as Britney. I did not use a face claim for James.

Warnings: age gap (older woman), infidelity, smut, unprotected sex, divorce, angst (LOTS), drinking, mentions of mental abuse and dysfunctional childhood

Number of Chapters: 39 (chapters are a bit short in the beginning because I didn't keep track of word counts back then.)

Posting Time: 10AM CDT

Summary: I'm Harry. I have a mundane job where I sit in a cubicle all day. But things just got better because the hottest babe just started working here. And I'm determined to make her mine, even if just for one night. I'm Roni. I just started this new job, but all I can think about is the hottie in the corner cubicle. I think he likes me too.

When It Was Written: This was started in 2015 and finished in 2017 (it was on hold off and on for a while). It started really with just the urge to write about a cocky Harry and eventually turned into a long story. There is a lot of smut, but it ends up having a lot of drama as well.

The Characters and Face Claims: So, as you can see from the cheeky lil summary, this is written in two points of view. This Harry is based on 2013 Harry, so he's 19. Roni is 27. I don't believe I used any face claims for any of the other characters.

Warnings: age gap (older woman), smut, angst (LOTS) * Just want to add that in both this fic and the one above, the characters have unprotected sex. This was simply an oversight on my part. I was married when I wrote these and had not used a condom in years, so it was simply not on my mind. I got called out for it, don't worry lol.

Number of Chapters: 22

Posting Time: 2PM CDT

Summary: Stacey Barnett is a writer and a single mother. Her hands full with two daughters (one with special needs), a newly published novel, an extroverted best friend and a controlling ex-husband, the last thing she expects is to meet an international pop star.

When It Was Written: I started this story in 2016 when I was going through my own divorce, so it's very personal to me. I didn't actually finish it until 2019. Sometimes you write something that you think is going to be a big hit and when it's not, it kind of crushes your spirit. While I knew this was not for everyone, I think because it was so personal to me, it was hard for me to take any criticism (and it still is, tbh).

The Characters and Face Claims: This is the only one of the three that is about Real Harry. The story takes place when he's just released his first solo album, although in this he never cut his hair, and his movie (which is not named) came out before the album. The face claim for Stacey is Rachelle Lefevre. She is 40. Her bestie Lorelei's face claim is Tabrett Bethell. I did not use any other face claims, although most of the other characters are based on real people in my life - Stacey's daughters are mine, her mom is mine, and her ex-husband is mine. I just changed the names.

Warnings: age gap (older woman), smut, angst, mentions of divorce, autism (child), seizures (child), insecurities, flashbacks, nightmares, mental health issues * Again, this mentions a lot of personal issues I had and was going through at the time. I am not exaggerating when I say this is LOADED with angst. You will get angry at the characters, especially Stacey. But please remember to have a heart, because she's been through a lot and doesn't always react the way you think she should.

Number of Chapters: 33

Posting Time: 6PM CDT

In addition, I also have playlists curated for all of these on Spotify. I will link them on the story pages.

Again, please be kind. But if you have any feedback as I post, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Remember, just because they're older fics doesn't mean you can't comment :).

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

Also, if you enjoy my writing, please consider joining my Patreon!

[docholligay]

CLOTHES I AM GIVING AWAY

My main concern is that they go to people who will wear them. You'll have to pay shipping, but I'm not charging anything for the clothes themselves. These are just unappreciated pieces in my closet. Some are spendy brands, some are cheap, but in any case, it's a good way for anyone who wants to get into dressing more vintagey but can't afford to start up or add to their collection to do so. I will send all of this out September 5th, so you can keep adding to your package as I keep posting.

All measurements are basically taken flat and doubled. I did my best, but I don't swear they are perfect. BUT PLEASE READ THEM. SOME OF THESE DRESSES ARE PINNED TO SHOW AS FITTING ON ME AND ARE BIGGER THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.

But I'm European???? I don't know inches??? https://www.unitconverters.net/length/inches-to-cm.htm there you go

Send me an ask if you want any of this, I'll mark it off as it gets claimed.

Green and black cotton, mild stretch 28 waist, 34 bust. I'm getting rid of this because I'm phasing black out of my wardrobe.

Blue winter dress, some stretch. 31 waist, 38 bust. I bought this one year for our Hanukkah party and I just don't love it though I want to.

TAKEN White floral dress, TONS of stretch. 27 waist, 36 bust, 39 hip. My wife will be sad about this one, but I just don't wear it.

TAKEN Polka dot dress, little stretch. top is lined. 28 waist, 36 bust. I've owned it for a lot of years and I'm just ready for something new.

Black rainbow slit dress. Little stretch. 28 waist, 36 bust. I wore this ALL THE TIME when I worked in a law office, but really haven't since.

Black and grey dress with a subtle silver sparkle. Lots of stretch. 33 waist, 40 bust. Nice, heavy dress, I bought it on clearance and wore it at work all the time, even though it didn't quite fit me right and I never did have it tailored.

TAKEN. Yellow floral dress, the top is full-on smocked in terms of stretch. 42 bust, 36 waist. I like this dress a lot, actually, but the color isn't good on me so I can't justify the cost of alterations.

Floral office dress, plenty of stretch, 27.5 waist, 40 bust (but it's meant to fit loose, so, don't worry). this was my very very favorite work dress and there's a part of me that wants to keep it but that is stupid. thick stretch bottom. tab and button to hold your rolled sleeve. Cool, comfortable, and professional.

Teal teenager dress, lots of stretch, 28 waist, 34 bust. I cannot imagine anyone would want this, but if you do, go for it! It's a 2000s homecoming dress ahahah.

Yellow dot dress, some stretch, 34 waist, 39 bust. What was going on with me that I thought I looked good in yellow? My god.

APPARENTLY THAT IS ALL THE PHOTOS I CAN PUT IN A POST. TIL NEXT TIME

[memberment]

Genesis

Goooooooooodmorning.

Idk why I'm making a post yet I really don't feel like writing. ANYWAYS. Updates may come today. They also may not. Idk yet.

6:51 Hello from beyond. A new playlist is being born as I write through chapter 30. Also, I think I finished my chapter 7 art. It's Craig carrying Tweek home after they first met. They were so cute 😭 Idk what the message is gonna be in that one yet though. I know what the response is, but not the og message. And I am realizing as I type that that I was not supposed to reveal that but fuck it we ball there's like six people on here it's okay.

ANYWAYS. IF I CAN FINISH 30 AND ACTUALLY WRITE 27 (due to a restructure, I skipped over it entirely and have to go back and rewrite it.) AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, CIRCLE BACK AND FINISH 22, I will be soooooooo happy. I got like 12 hours til sleep time and I prob will not be working on chapter 8 art. Because I do NOT wanna draw Kenny and Clyde just yet. (I'm afraid. I wanna put them in their magical girl uniforms and ACTUALLY SHOW THEIR UNIFORMS bc they do change eventually and I feel like the contrast goes INSANE.)

9:19: Hello friends totally didn't get distracted<3 ANYWAYS. Back to this hell chapter of everyone having a bad time.

1:38: I got so distracted Desolation was late and I didn't write anything. I have literally written under 1k today which is fucking insane to me. I write more when I'm "on breaks"

But I have come here to yap about something. While I'm "on break" I think I'm going to rework The End Is Near AND New Beginnings. Meaning they might get deleted for a bit. Because I kinda wanna redo them both because let's be so real here. My writing was not shit, but I feel like they are both gems that need a bit of love. I don't know if I'm gonna commit to the bit but I really fucking might LMFAOO.

But I do really want to redo New Beginnings because that was the whole reason I started writing fanfic and people are still looking at it and I feel like it pales in comparison to what I write now.

And reworking those two will be much more lax while I suffer through 15 weeks of physics hell. SOOO.

Whatever. Gonna try and get through chapter 30. and maybe 27 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE TO WRITE IT WHAT THE FUCK‼️‼️

I lied I'm yapping for all of five more seconds because I need to complain and refuse to get a diary.

I am actually really sad that I'm not gonna have every day posts anymore. Like I am trying so hard to cope with it but y'all.

Desolation has 4 chapters left. Tweek's Guide has 7 chapters left. Eclipse has 4 (technically five but epilogue's short so it's gonna get posted same day) chapters left. Craig's Guide has like 10 chapters left. Dandelion has 8 (technically 9) chapters left. and Leap year has 8 chapters left. (Genesis doesn't count because that just started. ) LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE. I HAVE FOUR FICS AND THERE ARE SEVEN DAYS OF THE WEEK. AND I CAN'T POST MY ONE REALLY FUNNY TRASHFIRE FIC BC PART OF IT IS SO GOOD I KINDA WANNA SPLIT THE CONCEPTS UP AND I REFUSE TO FINISH IT TIL I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. Like y'all do not understand daily posts are like embedded in my brain. I love it. HOW DO I FIX THIS WITHOUT ACTIVELY WRITING. I hate it here. Oh also when Eclipse or Desolation get finished Dandelion is moving to Monday/Wednesdays because Freedom Pal Fridays are being a thing. Because I have. So. Many. Goddamn. Freedom. Pals. Fics. Sitting. There. ScREAMING. For. Me. To. Write. So An Answers getting thrown on Fridays. But how do I space this out? (I am so sorry for this unnecessary lengthiness I am officially just gaming this out as I type because my brother is sleeping and I can't call him to yap.) Like- I wanted to do Sunday for Genesis but I feel like Sundays kinda suck as post days, lowk. So what then? Monday Wednesday Friday Saturday???? I can't just do Tuesday and not Thursday. AH. I hate it here. I need more time and we are constantly running out of time.

Life is fleeting, and I simply hate it.

2:39: JUST HIT 90K. This has been cut down to 38 chapters. I have 1k ish left of 30. 27 is still undone. 22 needs its angel fight. So approximately 29k-36k ish left. I'm losing my mind. I can't believe I am speedballing through this like that. WHICH MEANS IF GOD SHINES DOWN UPON ME I CAN FINISH BOUND IN PEACE.

Then what?

Do I start my break early?

I don't wanna do that? What the fuck would I even work on then though??????

LMFAO about to pray for clarity.

3:44: Creative freedom is fucking crazy because Wendy's having a heart to heart with Brimmy right now.

4:14: I keep cutting chapters and part of me is starting to worry that this is too short but in the same breath like I'm combining them because drawing them out feels kinda lazy and rude. But we are now down to 36/37 chapters. I can't be too mad about it. But part two might be like, way longer. Also we're at 92.3k. SO I DID SOMETHING TODAY.

I lowk wanna work on bound for a bit but that means committing myself to an entire chapter because I can't just write part of a chapter and go back to it for that one and kinda I wanna reread the whole thing before I work on it more. UGH.

I might. I honestly fucking love Bound, like that was my baby when I was concepting it. I literally wrote so much of it while I was on vacation. Like stats on that one suck bc it's so niche but I do not even care. One of my favorite fics that I've written, easy. I'm not even a K2 girlie. I just wanted to write one because it was gonna annoy me if I didn't throw my hat in the ring at least once. I might write background K2 though for something unimportant bc I kinda like how I write them ngl. OKAY GOODBYE FOR NOW I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF TO MAYBE WRITE ANOTHER BOUND CHAPTER.

[amememightywarrior]

Mom's Adventures in Eorzea, Part 2

OH MY GOD THE DRAFT DIDN'T SAVE i have to do this AGAIN anyway here we go

Dec 26, 2021

Off we go! Heavensward!! (mom winced at the singer in the trailer)

But first we tested my rez macro She promptly used it before I could use self-destruct so I ended up having to explain swiftcast belatedly to her. HOWEVER! it works!!

:D

Mom looking at Artoirel and Emmanellain: "...and other son and daughter?" me: "...they're both sons" Damn you MSQ, why don't you have more female elezen

All righty just told her the manservant was gonna show her around so I'm not going to take her anywhere XD She thinks Tataru is extra excited about visiting the clothes market so she can find more things to dye pink

on Elaisse: "She's the first one who actually looks old!" (She doesn't think Edmont looks his age)

She thought the jester hat she got sounded cool! But then she put it on! and now her head piece is once again hidden. In selecting which brother to help first: "Which one is the jerk? I wanna smack him." So she's going with Artoirel XD

*sarcastically* "I bet he's very popular"

"I don't need a chocobo! I have a SNOWMAN!"

Me: Oh yeah you can't fly in these zones, you have to collect aether currents now Mom: D:<

if you're on goblin and you see two snowmen bouncing across coerthas that's probably us

on Deepeyes: "That red thing is its eye?!"

"All this nice peaceful music when you're killing things is jarring..."

"This duty is all about getting lost in a blizzard" "Oh great"

*gets ambushed in the house basement* "WHOA!"

Iceheart says "We can do naught else, for we are as one" So...does she think herself tempered by Shiva? Hmm

Artoirel: Pity Iceheart escaped but blah blah Mom: She didn't escape though? We just let her walk away... Me: ...yeeeeup.

After Artoirel admits his fault I asked my mom if that was good for smacking him and she said yes

All righty, Emmanellain's task will have to wait til tomorrow!

The casting robe she got was black and grey so we ended up going to the inn room and messing with her glam before we stopped for the day XD

Dec 27, 2021

Mom: "Okay I'm out of bed (in game), all rested up! Let's kill some stuff!"

*reading Emmanellain talking about being trueborn* "They're both assholes."

Chew time

as we run past a lalafell's chocobo: "It's like a giant chicken!"

My mom is carefully running around the chocobo because she doesn't want to step on it

The struggle of targeting a quest spot with controller when you're in the middle of a FATE with lots of targets

just a couple of snowmen bouncing around sea of clouds

*After waking Emmanellain* "Oh...well, that backfired on her."

She's very invested in how the gear looks

Honoroit: Lord Emmanellain has been gone an awfully long time. Mom: He's probably drowned in two inches of water.

she asked me if his rock was gonna be bad and if we were gonna see a temper tantrum just before this

Emmanellain: NORTHOTA I'M OVER HERE Mom: Thanks for ruining my sneak attack

Mom: How does Haurchefant know this is happening? He wasn't even here... Me: You'll find out

*Bismarck appears* "........all righty then."

She's pleased to see Cid XD

*Haurchefant leaps aboard the airship* "Showoff!"

*after the umpteenth attack by a gaelicat* "Seriously, everything attacks you here!!"

*After Laniaitte shoots Emmanellain down yet again* "Hah! She's mean :D"

she's disappointed we missed edmont smacking emmanellain

THE FURY HAS SPOKEN HW members slapped down by a couple of book-wielding nerds

yaaaay HW flying unlocked

"I didn't realize my blue was the same as their blue, I'm gonna have to change!" (She used Royal Blue for her chest piece)

I forgot how deep Zephirin's voice was, goddamn

Me: Now we get to go to Limsa! Mom: So I can teleport? Me: Yep, and you won't get arrested on sight! Mom: *dryly* That's good to know.

Sleeping during gaming time is just so exhausting

"Who's Lolorito?" "Mask, white moustache, shows up in ominous cutscenes with lightning flashing in the background as he appears to be the mastermind..." "Oh."

Had to stop and stare at someone with the Adamantoise mount as it spun wildly midair with fire coming out

Picking a different color for her robe so we avoid fashion faux pas for the rest of Heavensward Aaaand we're done til her next weekend!

Jan 1, 2021

Snack time as we work through heavensward

"Oh yeah you can use the left side (of the cross hotbar) so you can hit as many as possible" "GOOD"

And now it is belly rub time

After getting the quest to question various convictors: "And now I get to talk to all these people who won't tell me anything useful AGAIN."

"Ah yes we finish celebrating year of the ox and now we get to go kill one." *after seeing a woolly yak* "...bighorn sheep...?"

Ysayle: *prepares to monologue* Mom: *turns to me* "Are we about to find out we're helping MORE bad guys?"

can't wait to reveal to my mom that hraesvelgr is just a depressing old fart

Estinien whips out the eye and my mom goes: "That's really small, considering the dragons we've seen..."

All right, she elected to do all the aether current quests to unlock flying first since we're here XD Which means DUSK VIGIL

Freebird: Coerthas Western Highlands obtained!

my favorite part of SMN is when ifrit just hares off to parts unknown and unsummons itself

Mom: "Holy rainbow!" Me: "Yep. Throw it on and see what it looks like!" Mom: "OH MY GOD I LOOK LIKE A PIRATE I LOVE IT"

Estinien: WATCH YOURSELF DRAGON OR I'LL GOUGE OUT ONE OF YOURS Mom: Oh that's helpful

Vidofnir: THOU ART IMAGINE THYSELF EQUAL TO THE TASK Mom: Oh please! Primals are just another notch on my belt!

She discovered her wind-up Onion Knight, declared she wanted it, saw it run with its crazy little legs going...it's her new favorite. And just now she saw its little sword hacking motion and cackled.

Jan 2, 2021

we're back on our nonsense again

Mom: *puts on holy rainbow pants and studies her toon* I can live with that. Me: *laughing* Mom: There's NO TELLING what it could've looked like!! The jester skirt still haunts me!

Estinien: *talks* Mom: He just needs to be slapped.

Mom: "I've really got a swagger with this outfit!"

as the gnath summon ravana: Is it like a giant bug? as ravana appears: Good heavens.

on Ravana: "He's being very polite, he could've just chopped her up while she was summoning Shiva"

when the song kicks in on second part of ravana fight: "HE SINGS???" Apparently she found it very distracting XD

dps in sohm al giving us smn tips...thank you very much XD

She loves her wind-up Onion Knight and stopped doing MSQ to watch him wave his little sword

All righty, we stopped just before the churning mists moogles got to start annoying us but she already views Moglin's 'Trials of Trustworthiness' with much dubiousness.

Jan 3, 2021

I made the Trials of Trustworthiness easier by flying my mom everywhere because FUCK MOOGLES

Estinien is now 'The person most likely to get me in trouble', according to her

I discovered the zurvan weapons and showed them to her and now both of us want zurvan weapons because SHINY LIGHT TRAILS

Me: Kan-E-Senna is just explaining that Estinien is very angsty and will probably be a problem Mom: ... Me: ...like he wasn't a problem already. Mom: I was gonna say

a wild hraesvelgr appears

mom after the big reveal about the nature of primals and Ysayle collapses: uh oh

after hraesvelgr flaps away: well that was productive (the revelations have blown her mind)

Estinien: I shall be surprised if my armor is not stained crimson ere this conflict is ended Mom, dramatically: "My armor cleaning bill is going to be through the roof!"

a brief pitstop to touch up the glam and we are on our way once more

Mom: There she is. *to Meriel's back* You are in SUCH deep doo-doo.

Sultana awakened and Braves disbanded...that's all til next weekend.

Jan 9, 2021

It's the weekend, you know what time it is... SHENANIGANS WITH MOM

The Aery unlocked~

Hey, there are Allagan ruins in here...

@nofearsnolimits requesting explanation

"Now he's all covered in blood!" "So if Nidhogg is dead, what use are the eyes?" "Ooo I got 3 crystals back now"

me: HE'S GOT TWO EYES mom: ...did he give one back or something??

"I'd be afraid to make any sudden movements in that outfit" *referring to Haldrath's dragoon armor*

*After getting the other eyeball* "Where am I supposed to put this? I have no pouches!" me: "You have plenty of pouches, just none big enough." Mom: "NEITHER DOES [Estinien]! HE HAS TO PUT THEM UP HIS BUTT!"

after estinien yells at ysayle: "he deserved to be doused in dragon blood...just saying."

As Ysayle is stopping the heretics: "She's yelling at like 6 people." Me: "Yeah, well...budget."

suggestions along the lines of hosing Estinien down have been made

I like Edmont looking away to the floor when Lucia says "Even the holiest among us are not immune to temptation"

Dawn in the Brume as we once again run to rescue Tataru

All righty, stopped just before we get into the fight with Charibert, that'll all be tomorrow... the Vault is coming...

Jan 10, 2021

Will my mom get to the vault today? stay tuned to this thread and find out

*Charibert arrives* "Who's he??" "One of the Heavens' Ward, twelve knights who protect the archbishop." "Ohh so he was one of the ones around that table." she remembers :O

Lucia: "ENOUGH!" Mom: "Too little too late."

She just started A Knight's Calling ;_;

she's excited to be going above ground instead of through someone's basement torture chamber

just reviewed how to rez on SMN while we wait for a friend to get out of a dungeon

she managed to rez someone but then I let both dps die RIP she called Charibert a bad penny XD

here it is. the cutscene.

"That's too bad... :( they don't resurrect him or anything?" "no" "I'm sorry you had to watch that again, then"

One of her observations as Edmont is clearly grieving: "In contrast to the bastard archbishop and his son" (in terms of emotion/relationship)

update: she is willing to throw the archbishop in the garbage where he belongs

Now she's trying to figure out what he's up to... XD

PRIMALSSSSSS anyway we're pausing MSQ to do our job quests because we're both missing some skills cough cough

"Why is this person standing on the rock with a red dress and bunny ears" "some people wanna be admired" *later* "okay go to drybone..." "I wanna stand on the rock with bunny girl here!" *the player changes glams and waves* "some people play this game for very different reasons"

"DOG YOU SMELL SO BAD" the time for Brie to be bathed approaches...

we've been doing our job quests separately, my mom has gotten much better at navigating on her own :D

Aaaand done for the day~

Got some new skills that I do not know how to use but tool tips say they're all AoEs so I put them in the right spot on her hotbar...

Jan 16, 2021

Been playing with my mom but nothing too exciting other than Bismarck eating an island and me figuring out how dreadwyrm trance works so my mom can beat up the striking dummy

"So the whale...just ate the key." "Yep."

Brie started wagging her tail in her sleep

limitless blue...

queued up and ready to gooooo

Bismarck down! Mom: "Soooo where's the key" Me: "You'll find out"

Archbishop: "I see you have what we want" *looks at key* Mom: "QUICK, SWALLOW IT"

"Now I'm gonna spend a ton of time getting it back, aren't I."

Mom: So where is MY team...Cid and everyone and the ship Me: They're towing the island Mom: UGH

"With my outfit Alphinaud looks like a mini-me!"

This is what she's currently in, btw

upon seeing the airship: "...that's big. Is that gonna get us to Azys Lla?" Me: "Nope"

Done for the day, tomorrow...more HW!

Jan 17, 2021

mom and i back on our bullshit again

She said the sea of clouds makes her palms sweat because she's afraid she'll fall off, so I had her try to run off an edge to reassure her

Edmont says Tataru is super excited, mom says, "I can't even imagine Tataru more excited than she usually is, squeaking like a mouse..."

mom deeply confused by Urianger putting goggles over his goggles

me: *starts doing moonlift dance* mom: you're very distracting me: THAT'S THE POINT

Mom about Y'shtola in the lifestream: So she's broken up in little particles like Willy Wonka?

"Wrapped her up like an egg roll" "We call that a purrito" "A phhh--hahaha"

"Were her eyes always that color...?" "Nope." "Ah, okay."

Mom, about the Idyllshire goblins: Have we seen these before...

"They all look the same under those masks don't they" "we don't know" *later* "And now he (brayflox) is taking all the credit" "she" "...she. You can't tell!" "Sure you can!" "..." and so I explained goblin naming conventions to her

I think my mom likes Matoya

Gubal unlocked, gonna save that for tomorrow!

"You were right, it does get a lot more interesting! It just takes a while to get there."

Jan 18, 2021

Hey. Guess what time it is. That's RIGHT it's GAME TIME WITH MOM

Review of Gubal: Sliding around on ice was lots of fun! the orbs exploding and stopping the summoning was NOT fun XD

"So if I jump off the bridge I would die?" "Yes (when something's chasing you" "Ugggghhh so many ruuuules"

Me as Matoya translates the tome: That's what you call google translate...GUBAL translate! HAHAHAHA Mom: hah. hah. hah. *eyeroll*

Alphinaud: THE EYE!! Mom: Yeah you gotta wrestle it from whatshisname Me: I think we can just ask him

Matoya: Shtola, when did the light fade from your eyes? Mom: I was waiting for someone to notice her eyes were all weird.

Brie cam

Verdict on Estinien after he bitches at Y'shtola: "He's still a jerk."

Ysayle just appeared! "Oh, how fortuitous!"

She kinda jerked back when Ysayle died, I don't think she expected that. No comment otherwise. Anyway, we're in Azys Lla!

We're trying out Titan-egi but I guess it likes desummoning itself???

Estinien: Wait...something's afoot. *garlean theme starts playing* Mom: Garleans are everywhere!

I wonder if the garleans are confused by the snowmen bouncing past

We're at the 2 hour mark but this is a really exciting part of the story so we're trying to make it to the dungeon before we stop

All righty, stopped just before the final HW dungeon~

Jan 23, 2021

THE END OF HEAVENSWARD (base), AS DESCRIBED BY MY MOM: a thread

I showed her the shoebill minion and she was entertained

I got some volunteers but while we wait my mom decided to start chatting up the nodes and accidentally picked up a quest so she's off getting lost in Azys Lla

*while getting into the black hole for universal manipulation*: this doesn't seem great...? me: it protects you from worse

*suspiciously* "...who's in the box?" (it's haldrath)

Thordan attains primalhood: "...we didn't want that to happen, right?" Me: "Nope" Mom: "Welp"

me: wait time, 9 minutes mom: D:<

Mom: Do we have to kill him multiple times? Me: Nope. Mom: Good. ...I'll take that eyeball, thanks.

*Estinien gets the other eyeball* Mom: Is he going to turn evil?

she has just dubbed him Zombie Estinien

"Ohh so there's a warrior of darkness to my warrior of lightness..." *camera zooms out* "I was being facetious when I said he was on the moon!"

Heavensward base complete~

we had a nice lengthy bike ride before this and now we're both starting to feel sleepy so I'm telling my mom to wake up during cutscenes XD then Aymeric closed his eyes and she said "See? Now HE'S falling asleep!" and I said "He's being SOMBER"

Got all the overworld aether currents in the forelands and will get the quests so she can fly there tomorrow. Also got her some boots from Hismena. Slowly but surely...!!

we both got up and groaned at our stiff legs RIP

Jan 24, 2021

Okay mom is doing forelands aether current quests and then we'll be back to MSQ

*watches her get lost around the Forelands*

it's just her yelling "Up! Up!" while trying to climb a cliff with her snowman

me: *flies past* mom: I SEE YOU >:( taunting me

just two snowmen bouncing across the forelands

:D

Krile: Looks like someone grew an ilm or two in my absence...or are those lifts in your boots? Mom: ouch

*watches mom get lost in the hinterlands* this is very relaxing

Krile just said she has the Blessing of Light as well as the Echo...?? hmm I forgot that..

She laughed at Y'shtola going "IS IT NOW" when Alphinaud started talking about her showing up naked from the Lifestream

she's dying at the nutkin hiding thancred's nether region

'Good thing it's got a big fluffy tail'

mom: Did Thancred lose an eye? me: we're not sure honestly, most think he had an injury but then later he was using it to attract the ladies mom: oh...

Mom, about Alphinaud: Does his sister ever show up? Me: Oh yeah. You'll like her. Mom: Is she snarky? Me: Yeeeeup, she knows just how to get to Alphinaud. Mom: Well, twins, right? Me: Yep Mom: *nods*

me as they find the guy setting fires: They've located the criminal!! mom: Yep. Northota, sit on him! That'll teach 'em.

mom said all this stuff about people trying to preserve the old order sounded aaaawwwwfffully familiar, btw can't wait to get her into SHB, vauthry will make her blow a gasket

hah at aymeric at 0/100 vitality just curing himself furiously, refusing to die

as priest pushes maelie off the vault wall: well, *he's* evil.

Mom after Aymeric and co arrive downstairs: Wait, what did they do with the nutjob? Me: Oh they arrested him Mom: They should've just pushed him off the railing. Told the dragon 'let this one fall'.

you can tell where my vindictive streak comes from

Okay, that's it for this play session! Once we get to the end of post-HW we'll be going back to finish off Hildibrand and other optional/side content XD

Jan 30, 2021

It's THE WEEKEND time for MORE MOM PLAYS FFXIV

"I forgot what we were doing??" the crazy catholic dude shoved a kid off a bridge and now we're working on a peace conference

hearing honoroit speak is gonna make me sad though :( RIP Archie

Emmanellain stalks out of the manor in silence, mom says, "What was THAT all about?"

Urianger speaks to Elidibus, mom says "...I thought he was a good guy?? No? Clearly not."

Yda and Papalymo show up! Me: Hey, we found them! Mom: Yep Me: She lost her mask somewhere so they aren't showing her face... Mom: ...because we're not supposed to know what she looks like? Me: NOPE. They'll zoom in on her boobs instead! Mom: I noticed that, yes.

The big reveal with Yda/Lyse would've been way better if they'd incorporated Yda's real face into like...flashbacks or something.

Mom, about Hoary Boulder: I'm sorry, he's just weird. Me: gasp Mom: *imitates his roegadyn psych emote* Me: He's flexing! Mom: Ohh, right. You just can't see it under all that armor.

We exhausted Brie with a 3.7 mile bike ride before this and I made her dig a bit so she is extra tired today

walking into the Seventh Heaven: ah the bar with the Peanuts music me: it's the bar music from FF7! mom: I'm telling you this sounds just like the Peanuts music!

*looking at the rewards for this quest* Me: fish or cookie? mom: cookie, steamed fish sounds gross... me: it's a steamed staff mom: that's worse me: ...which is also a fish mom: ...

Oh boy my favorite HW dungeon the Antitower is coming up...

She enjoyed the dungeon XD Calcabrina reaction: Oh THEY aren't creepy at all, jeez me: You can get them as a minion-- Mom: NO I don't want that following me

for those wondering, she wasn't into David Bowie so she did not recognize the Ziggy Stardust reference, RIP

Mom: Looks like we're not getting Minfilia back? Me: Nope, looks like she's been turned into a MEAT PUPPET Mom: Ah

She summoned the poro roggo minion and was overjoyed to see that it hops XD

Aymeric: A drink! Mom: Is he asking me on a date? Me: Maybe Mom: What happens with the male WoL? Me: Same thing. Everyone wants in the WoL's pants, doesn't matter their gender! Mom: That's awesome.

heavy sighs at emmanellain, 'looks like I'm babysitting again'

"Yeeeeah I've just been poisoned, pretty sure."

Northota started passing out and my mom just turned and gave me a knowing look. "First time I've ever eaten or drunk anything in this place, of COURSE"

she's just skipping past the barmaid's tirade ahahaha

Emmanellain: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE Mom: You told him to do it

Mom just referred to the punch Thancred laid on Emmanellain as 'The Consequences'

Got the Hinterlands world aether currents and quit for the day, time to stretch

Jan 31, 2021

AND NOW for game time with mom fun fact about my mom she is one of the few cool boomers

Mom: Soooo they're trying to...fight another enemy now? Me: They're trying to unite via a common enemy...so yes, more fighting, for that is the Ishgard way Aymeric: HOW ABOUT A GRAND MELEE Mom: Oh good, pretend fighting is just as good as real fighting.

on Emmanellain: "He started out as a brat, still a brat."

"Maybe his tiny manservant will help him change--" *cue me explaining some of their backstory and elezen puberty*

Aymeric: *starts talking about WoL for grand melee* me: WHO could he could be talking about mom: I don't know, the tall broad in front of him?

they should've had the grand melee take place in the lightfeather proving grounds, just sayin

I think she is enjoying being a caster in chainmail SE ALL CLASS FORTEMPS GLAMOUR WHEN

"Um, I have the tether...what does that mean" *fade to black* "DID WE FAIL"

aymeric just got fuckin yeeted by raubahn, never gets old

me: have fun, be ready to dodge mom: oh god

mom: is that the end of the duty? me: yep mom: *immediately has peanut m&ms to celebrate*

Nidstinien: NEVERRRRR Mom: there's always one...

mom's just like O_O at nidstinien right now

Mom: So we gotta kill Nidhogg? Me: Yep...again. Mom: Only he's bigger and badder than before? Me: Yeah he's got TWO eyeballs now! Mom: Oh boy

Mom on Vidofnir: Oh good that dragon's not dead!

Alphinaud plops drinks on table mom: The LAST time I drank out of a cup.......

Mom: The voice acting has really gotten a lot better Me: You enjoy the performances? Mom: Yes, especially Aymeric. His voice isn't pretty but just the phrasing Me: *eyebrow waggle* Ohhhh?? You thought he was snooty when you first heard him Mom: he WAS snooty...he's gotten better.

being a left-handed person, my mom is delighted to see SMN is also left-handed (via victory stance)

vidofnir is like '?'

CAN MY MOM FIGURE OUT THE MOOGLE'S NAME STAY TUNED

she picked the correct answer

yay we have conquered sohr kai

Fighting Nidhogg will have to happen next weekend. There will be chaos >:D

Feb 6, 2021

TIME FOR MOM SHENANIGANS

Alphinaud: if only we knew when nidhogg would strike me: IF ONLY THERE WERE A SIGN *screeching in the distance* mom: is that not a good enough sign

final steps of faith death awaits us, friends are all busy...sorry to my cohealer in advance, whoever you are

mom: Eugh! When did he give away his eye?!

waits for future cohealer to queue up...

that was 3 vets and 5 newbies who all ran away with the stack marker

Alphinaud: Estinien!! Mom: Estinien! Someone take that eyeball away from him!

Mom: *as Estinien starts resisting* is that Estinien Estinien: THIS IS NOT YOUR HAND, WYRM Mom: the ultimate dual personality disorder WoL and Alphinaud: *go for the eyes* Mom: That's right! Go for those eyeballs!

Mom: And that's Nidhogg...going...? Me: To dragon heaven! They come from space, after all

Mom: So those eyeballs are just dead balls now right Me: nah they're still full of aether Aymeric: CAST THEM INTO THE ABYSS Mom: *watches them plummet* ...only for them to return later?

we have concluded that Estinien probably weighs about 250-300 lbs with all his armor

Mom: Give Hraesvelgr his eyeball back! Hraesvelgr: *flies off* Mom: He's leaving without it?!

mom just shaking her head at emmanellain and laughing as honoroit explains what actually happened

she thinks estinien is very pretty

Brie check (this was a video of Brie staring fixedly at mom's hand as she picked up popcorn)

Mom: So he just took flowers and walked off into the sunset? Me: That's what he does, yup

on the PLD of darkness: "pretty evil grin there"

Me: Recognize that outfit? Mom: Yep! Alphinaud! Me: No! Mom: WHAT Me: That's his twin sister! Mom: Oh. Well, at least I recognize the outfit!

on the dinner: *dryly* "That's not stiff at all."

*WoL stares at manservant pouring* mom: is he gonna try to poison him??

Aymeric: So what do you want for yourself Mom: ...to not be poisoned. Manservant: PRAY FORGIVE THE INTERRUPTION Mom: We'll never find out what I want.

WoL and Aymeric leave Mom: So...I wasn't poisoned? Me: Nope Mom: suspicious.

Xelphatol cleared!

Tataru: Try on the new outfit I made you! Mom: *suspicious and hostile* WHO IS SHE TALKING TO Me: Alisaie! Mom: *relaxes* oh okay

That's all for today - that was a lot of cutscenes XD One more dungeon before we hit the end of the free trial and go back to Hildibrand. Yay!

Feb 7, 2021

reminding my mom that urianger is a POTENTIAL EVIL DOER she just sighed heavily

me: Alisaie is INTIMIDATING Urianger! mom: yes, from his waist

Mom: Alphinaud NEVER glared like that! Me: Alisaie is VERY different

Oh we're at the part where we meet Ga Bu

brie trying to chew while on the couch, mom has vetoed this plan

it occurs to me that alisaie's teleporting ability is the most powerful because she just teleported the entire party while half of us had aggro

mom: titan...is he the one who kept shoving me off the edge me: yep mom: UHGHHGHGHG

report-- gravity: 3 WoL: 0 3 dps fell off XD one of which was my mom, another of which was a dps CERTAIN he was out, and a third of which was a RDM who backflipped off

Alisaie: Maybe you could tell me about some of your adventures in Ishgard Mom: But I only nod! *dialog choices pop up* Mom: oh, there I am

Mom: "Old friends"? me: who do you know who talks like that Mom: ..........the guy who the girl was suspicious of... me: Urianger. Mom: yes me: We've never seen him with his hood off though! Mom: Who knew he had grey hair...

Urianger: *DRAMATIC SPEECH* Mom: Is he feeling guilty? Me: Yep

Mom: Sooo he wants them to kill the WoL??? Me: He wants them to meet up Mom: So they can combine and become the warrior of grey...

my mom always makes resigned noises when told to gather information because it's usually bad info from idiot townspeople XD

Papalymo and Yda spotted!

she's in disguise

Mom: A trap! Of course.

Alphi: CARBUNCLE DEFEND ME Mom: OH Carbuncle: *catches arrow in mouth* Mom: Nice catch!

Urianger tears off mask Me: Oh no he's pretty--but with questionable taste in facial hair Mom: yeah that's terrible...he looks like wolfman or something...

trying to target alisaie's blade of light when literally everyone decides to stand around her fighting while you're on controller is a new hell, my mom has found

Urianger: Quickly! Invoke the power of your crystal! Mom: ...and what will that do...? Me: :)

Minfilia: *gives WoL Tupsimati* Mom: I'll put it in my pocket with everything else

and now with my mom left in a haze of confusion over yda's reaction to gundobald, we leave the rest of the story for next weekend

Feb 13, 2021

MOM GAME TIME MOM GAME TIME We parked her outside the Rising Stones last time for fear of being caught in another long cutscene. Turns out we were right XD

Mom: "WHAT BATTLE???" (as fake griffin talks to real griffin)

Mom: Are those the dragon eyeballs? Yes, they are. Me: What a surprise! Mom: Quite the gift. Good luck controlling them!

Brie being absolutely incorrigible about the popcorn moving past her nose

Mom, when Tataru corners her with some other people: new characters? Me: no, you're being AMBUSHED! YOU ALWAYS KNEW SHE WAS EVIL Mom: ...oh! She's got a new outfit for me, doesn't she!! Me: *cackling* Mom: They got the big guy to hold me down, huh.

tension in the scene where m'naago appears ruined by the fact that we're trying to order take out for dinner right now

ordering food never sounded so ominous, it's just the suspenseful BGM going on the entire time

PLOT TWIST you can choose which sauce you want!! DETERMINE YOUR FATE, BECOME WHAT YOU MUST

Mom: Who is this? Me: A new person!

Mom after hearing Papalymo's ominous narration: Is he about to become a traitor?? Me: *shrug* Mom: He's got that stick, too! Me: What's he gonna do!!

someone playing a polka in gridania right now

mom, seeing me on ixion mount: *sigh* I want ooooone...

Mom, about Yugiri hiding behind trees: Kinda creepy Me: Well, she's a ninja Mom: Ohhh, so force of habit...though she's not very good since [Aymeric] spotted her! Me: She wasn't TRYING D:

We are on Griffin, Griffin on the Wall for anyone wanting to see how close we are to SB 6 more quests before she gets blocked in MSQ!

Baelsar's Wall conquered Mom, after some careful explanation about the betrayal: Soooo the Griffin is just killing everyone.

Mom: THE EYES

Mom: That was a great splat noise

me: This is the song they played just before the calamity mom: it's very pretty considering what's going on me: yeeeeah after a while you start to associate it with ominous things...

told my mom to pick the second option...papalymo blasted her back onto the ship and she just said 'oh'

OMG our power just went out

Papalymo’s spell was too powerful. Also took our neighbor’s power

Welp we will continue our adventure tomorrow I guess. The whole area went down and it’s 2 degrees outside

Time to gather around the fire

The power has returned and i no longer feel like a pioneer

Was gonna make ashcakes or somethin oh well

me earlier: what if power went out at the restaurant we ordered from!!!! restaurant on our receipt when it arrived a few minutes late: our power went out!

Feb 14, 2021

Back to mom game time! Upon login, she was taken back into the cutscene the power outage interrupted...

If the power goes out again i will have to declare this cutscene cursed

Mom picked the option to try to stay again because she wants Papalymo to blast her back onto the ship

Mom: So that leaves a mystery as to what happened to Papalymo? Me: Well, if you've seen the previous time that was cast, Louisoix dies after casting it... Mom: Ahh, and that was apparent from the conversation... Me: Yep. Yda knew too, so that's why Thancred had to drag her off

achievement: School's Out Forever mom: =_=

Gosetsu: *appears* Mom: Okay, very Japanese... Gosetsu: *takes off hat* Mom: Whoa!

Gosetsu: *psychs up* Mom: Is that his way of overcoming his he-- Gosetsu: *falls over* Mom: Or not. Good thing no one was in front of him.

I forgot Nero did in fact have a voice actor XD

Me: So, got a good impression of Alisaie yet? Mom: Yeees...she's got claws. Big ones.

Mom's roegadame is taller than Nero by a head but she said "He should be more afraid of the little one (Alisaie) than me"

Gosetsu: BY YOUR LEAVE Mom: Ah, he's recovered.

Tataru gave my mom her outfit and she was like "D: OH! ...somebody stole my skirt!"

bit too difficult to ground target on controller for mom so I ended up doing the middle section of the solo duty for her with the red baron XD

Mom as they activate Omega: Releasing the Death Star!

Mom as they trade blows: Holy Harry Potter! (it reminds her of dumbledore and voldemort fighting in the ministry)

Mom as shinryu and omega blast off in different directions: That went well. Me: Would you say it was a tie Mom: Looked like it

Usually when something funny happens that they will immediately explain in the next two speech bubbles my mom will instantly stop in confusion and ask me what is going on and I have to be like 'You'll see'

ex: Yda's tattoo disappearing just now

We're on the Far Edge of Fate!! Last quest!!

Mom has passed judgment on Zenos. His helmet is creepy. His hair sticking out from under the armor is weird.

MOVING ON!!! to Hildibrand!!

I won't go into detail but suffice to say she laughs every time Hildy pops up on screen to pose XD

can't wait til she meets godbert

Me: We have to track down this dangerous goldsmith! Mom: ohhh I can see this is going to be silly

Hildy: I...I MUST DANCE! Mom: What?!

Mom: At least he has underwear on Me: Only because they have to preserve their rating.

Mom: OH he used his whole name!!

She believes Godbert explains Hildibrand a LOT

Mom: Hildibrand HAS figured out it's Greg, right? Me: Nope. Mom: ...oh my god.

Battle on the Big Bridge UNLOCKED time to queue and see if my mom gets turned into a toad

update: Me and my mom got turned into toads so it was just us screaming and running in circles

[tboy-boone]

1-8, 24-30

Hi golf!!!

1. How many words have you written this year?

6,370 words!!!

2. How many works did you publish this year?

Five works so far but who knows... number six might be coming

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

I was proud so proud of 'Til One Day They Just Cut It Loose. I was sooooo miserable writing it but once I was done, I liked it!

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

I Saw Your Ghost Tonight had the most hits. I didn't realize there were still people who thought about these movies..... where are they. Actually don't tell me, I don't wanna know

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

I was so surprised by the feedback I got on 'Til Someday They Just Cut It Loose because I got comment from someone who wrote one of my favourite fics on there! I was so shocked!!!

6. Favorite title you used

I Saw Your Ghost Tonight was soooooo perfect and it's like the best song ever

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

It's a tie between all of them.... one from mitski, radiohead, Bruce Springsteen, and blink-182

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

That one is another tie between Abigail/Ben/Riley and Margot/Claire

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

Nope, maybe next year?

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

YEAH <3 angsty jack murdering Kate fic

26. What’s your most common category?

General for sure

27. What do you listen to while writing?

Sometimes I'll make playlists that makes me think of a character(s) and I'll listen to that on repeat

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

I loooooooved I'll Pay for My Place. I haven't had a work consume my brain like that in a loooooong time

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

THIS ONE "There is a burning rage in stomach because he can’t hate him the way he did as child. However, Ethan can’t love him the way he did as child." I was so proud of that one

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

How many nice comments people leave <3 SO KIND!!

[dubiousdisco]

TIL about Barbosa who was like. branded a criminal his entire life because he failed a penatly or something in the BrazilNT in the 50s. Have you ehard of him? (I could not find his full name for some reason??)

I DID NOT KNOW THIS OH MY GOD?? i found more about him on wikipedia tho

"Moacyr Barbosa do Nascimento (Campinas, March 27, 1921 – Praia Grande, April 7, 2000) was a Brazilian footballer who played as a goalkeeper. Although he was considered one of the greatest archers of his time, Barbosa is best remembered for his participation in the defeat of the Brazilian national team in the 1950 FIFA World Cup Final, against Uruguay, in particular for the second Uruguayan goal, scored by Alcides Ghiggia. Because of the defeat, known as Maracanaço, goalkeeper Barbosa was accused of having failed to take the defeating goal and carried the burden of defeat until his death. After the World Cup, he returned to Vasco da Gama, where he was applauded for being a reference in the team's history, but suffered nationally with the stigma of the goal conceded in the World Cup."

and of course he was a Vasco player

a pic of him

Words about him by Armando Nogueira: "Certainly, the most wronged creature in the history of Brazilian football. He was a master goalkeeper. He worked miracles, dodging poisoned balls with the wrong hand. Ghiggia's goal in the 1950 Cup final fell on him like a curse. And the more I see the move, the more I absolve it. That game Brazil lost the day before."

"What is the maximum sentence in Brazil? Isn't it 30 years? Because I've been serving more than 40 years and no one forgets. If I were a common criminal, I would understand. But what was my crime? What was my sin ?" said former goalkeeper Moacyr Barbosa Nascimento to Helvídio Mattos in 1993.

everything i checked agrees that he was being persecuted not because of the goals, but because he was a black man. Once again, it was racism all along. His family and his daughter in particular fought for his image and for reparations.

it also says that after Brazils 7-1 brazilian public was forced to admit a goalkeeper is not the sole responsible for a teams defeat.

by the end of his career he got his leg broken and couldn't compete for a while, and he became depressed, but he recoved he the hospital he was in started to line up his fans who wanted to visit him, it says he realized he was still loved by the fans from rio.

He was presented with a statue in Santos (city) and vasco's training center is named after him, which i didn't know! i knew the name but didn't know who he was!

It also says he was called "rubber man" because he was short but would seemingly elongate his body and catch everything

also i'm impressed with how much stuff he actually won, here's the titles with vasco and santa cruz:

(!!!)

with brasil nt he won:

Copa Roca: 1945

Copa Rio Branco: 1947 e 1950

Copa América: 1949 (!!!!!!!!!)

(also it's cute that brazil and argentina and brazil and uruguay had their own cups omg)

and by himself he won Third Best Brazilian Goalkeeper of the 20th Century which, wow.

he also said several times he was proud of the second place, and it should be more celebrated and i agree.

[kae-karo]

for the ask game: 27 for kaeya and the huge bread, and then 37, 41, 42 and 49 if you'd like :D

AWE hi hello tyty so much anon !!!! for context (x)

27. How long did it take to write Kaeya and the Huge Bread? Describe the process.

hooooooooooo boy okay so according to gdocs, i started writing it in mid february lmao. and i'm not entirely sure what day exactly i finished, but i did start posting it on childe's bday (july 20), and my usual process is to take a week or two prior to posting a chaptered fic to edit it, so...give or take 4.5-5mo or so to write?

tbh when i run headfirst into longfics like that, i rarely have much of a process lmao. i really don't outline anything, but i'll have usually a few key points i want to hit on throughout the story, or a few scenes/dialogue bits that i'm particularly excited to write, and then i really just work my way from one bit to the next lmao. i really have to write linearly, which sort of helps me make progress cause if i only wrote the stuff i was super excited for, i wouldn't bother to fill in the blanks or figure out any of the other cool stuff that i usually discover along the way

for example, the fact that the irodori festival was going to be a big part of the story/a big part of kaeya's reveal wasn't something i even really uncovered til halfway through writing the story lmao AND actually it didn't even occur to me til long after i conceived the idea for certain plot points that the reason kaeya struggled with not wanting childe to hold him to too-high romantic standards was not only bc he didn't feel like his writing reflected himself as a romantic partner but also cause he's aromantic!

this one was also fun cause i have all these commercial breaks, which started as an excuse to write zhongluc but quickly evolved into an excuse to write some other ships that i otherwise would have no reason or groundwork to write outside the context of this au, but those often got written actually After i worked on most of the main fic (my brain didn't demand linear writing since each one was sort of a Separate story) and also cause the main fic didn't get divided properly into chapters til basically i was done lmao

i also had a snag at one point during that writing period where i deadass wrote a whole scene, then immediately realized i was cramming too much into one single situation, and i actually ended up having to go back and rewrite the whole thing as two distinct scenes lmaoooo

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

i adore this question and i have to limit the number of times i plug my first chaeya fic lmao so instead i will mention a kaeluc fic that got a surprisingly small amount of traction for the fact that it's klk?

our names were meant to have arrows drawn through (x) is a fun lil spring break fic where klk meet as strangers and - in a wildly impulsive move on diluc's part - spend the night together

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

am i a simp for my wife? yes. but she's basically nonexistent on tumblr now so i can do that >:} seriously tho, there's just something poetic about the way she writes, and the first time i read smth of hers i was just. enamored with her writing style? i'm not entirely sure i had a 'this is what i want my writing to look like' vibe exactly (and i'm not sure i've had that really with any fic, per se - i like the way i write! and i know it's influenced by what i read as well, but it's rarely a conscious decision to point my writing in a particular direction)

anyway, that said, sometimes i feel inspired to write a little more poetically and i think it has to do with how lovely her writing sounds to me. she doesn't write for genshin, but if any of u bktdbks follow me, be sure to check out her fics - analog love (x) is a sweet one abt oranges

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

ohhhh this is both simultaneously a hard question to answer and a very easy one. the hard answer is: i have the memory of goldfish with amnesia and even the comments i've received that i know have been particularly meaningful to me or particularly poignant have slipped my mind

the easy answer is that, although i can't recall specific examples of exact comments, i do know the things in comments that i've received that genuinely mean the world to me. comments about my stories being immersive or that the reader couldn't put it down, comments about rereading, comments that pick out tropes or ideas or specific things that transcend some of my stories that the reader appreciates, comments that quote favorite lines (especially if, by coincidence, they quote some of my favorite lines from a story). comments that say i got someone into a ship !!!! comments that mention that my story got them through a rough time. comments from serial commenters whose names i recognize from my other fics

idk if this is conceited or smth but some day i would really just love to go print out like. all the comments i've gotten and paste them on big posterboards or smth to hang on my walls. i do not have the wall space for that but perhaps some day i will lmao cause like. idk sometimes my brain just forgets that like. this is from a whole entire real person !!!! who read my words !!! and LIKED THEM and wanted to let me know !!!!! like !!!! holy shit bro !!!!!

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

LMAO what am i currently not working on? i keep saying i'll get back to my prince kaeya x many fic some day soon, but ideas keep cropping up and bopping me in the head lmao. perhaps once things slow down a bit for me, i'll have time and energy to swing back to it

currently i'm working on something as a request which i'm not quite ready to share bits of yet (still early stages atm as i am irritatingly busy rn and haven't been able to really get a flow going just yet)

i am also probably going to try to bash out another lil fic of the chiluc variety cause i got a bit of brainrot lmao assuming i have any time!!

so, alas, nothing really to share from a wip perspective atm, but i do still have quite the backlog of completed oneshots (i believe we still have some zhongchi, klk, chaeya, chennett, xiaoven, a surprise that i can't talk about for Reasons, plus some bktdbk and shinbaku on the bnha side)

[send me writing asks from this list!]

[oc-cinematic-universe]

!! 20 and 21 for Reverie and character(s) of your choice, 1 and 15 for Amadeo and Aiden, and 11 and 27 for Joe and character(s) of your choice!!

HEHEHEHE YAYYYY THANK YOU VERY GOOD CHOICES some answers under the cut cause this got long

20. What is their best memory together? Reverie and Viorel

Viorel doesn't remember anymore, but Reverie did pick their name because of him. He had so many reveries he'd dream about out loud to them. They talked so much together about what they'd do next, where they'd go, what routes of the game they'd try, what they'd do when they got out. Reverie holds these memories on a pedestal so tall they'll never reach it again

21. What is their worst memory together? Reverie and Viorel

The starting cutscene of the game. Viorel always forgets it 2 seconds after it finishes. Reverie restarts the game and every single time they have to watch him leave them again. They watch him forget them again. They've grown pretty numb to the rest of the cutscene (Vidette dying is rough but. whatever. she comes back every time they just gotta wait) but watching Viorel leave over and over, after getting to experience him remembering them for just a moment before it all goes wrong... still manages to sting

1. How did they meet? Amedeo and Aiden

They met at the first official meeting of the gamer club! Just about a year before the story of In a Manor of Speaking takes place! Amedeo did try to properly meet them and hang out that day but they were kinda not in the mood and busy chatting with the people they Did know, so they didn't really do much together til a couple meetings in. Aiden thought he was a lil obnoxious but they could handle him in small doses and didn't really have a problem with him. Amedeo thought of them the same way he thought of everyone, that they were the coolest person on the planet and he needs to attach himself to them forever right the fuck now

15. Do they trust each other? Why or why not? Amedeo and Aiden

The fucked up thing is they do. By all accounts they really fucking shouldn't. Amedeo literally killed Aiden! But time passes and things change a lot. Amedeo stayed in Aiden's manor for a while (Eden had to beg Aiden to let him stay but they can't say no to her) and he. Was clearly trying to do better? Amedeo watches over the manor while they're gone and it ends up fine. He doesn't obsessively stalk anyone anymore, he's trying very hard to understand and respect boundaries, he makes mistakes but he sure is trying.

During arc 5, when Eden isn't really at home anymore, and Aiden's realizing Viorel doesn't care about them the way they need, and they have no one else to hang out with without feeling like shit, they spend a Lot of time at Amedeo and Kazooie's apartment. And it's so nice. It's so nice to just have normal conversations with people who actually get what they're going through. And Amedeo is so relieved Aiden's willing to just hang out despite everything. I cannot say they're close friends but they do definitely care about and trust each other

11. Does one act as a narrative foil to the other? How so? Joe and Theron

*shaking so fast it makes an audible sound* Haha yeah! They end up in some very similar positions and their reactions are... well. They're the same but they're so vastly different. God this is hard to talk about without spoilers, I really can't get into it too hard, but the way they contrast each other makes me nuts. I fucking wish I could've let them actually meet under better circumstances in the comic. They only get to meet the 1 time, and it doesn't last very long. If they'd just.... if they'd gotten time to talk I think they both would've had some Realizations about themselves

27. How far would they go for each other? Would they risk their own lives for each other? Joe and Dara

They would destroy themselves if it somehow meant the other would be ok. They would let the other kill them if it was for the better. They fucking wish there was an opportunity to sacrifice themselves for each other. They keep trying to fucking make opportunities to sacrifice themselves for each other like a pair of idiots. They are letting themselves rot from the inside out for no fucking reason because they've managed to convince themselves the other will be better off for it. They're obsessed with each other and they need to fucking stop before the quencies get them

[memberment]

morning everyone

I wasn't gonna make an update post today bc I've been like

kinda debbie downer as fuck & I'm not feeling super yappy.

but I'm literally working on Knockin' On Heaven's Door (36) and Genesis is actually almost done.

Wish me luck at work may or may not update more later<3

(2:51) I'm giggling to myself over how significant 3's and 7's were to this story before I decided to include the seven seals of the apocalypse in it. I am currently writing the seven trumpets and

LOSING MY MIND.

(8:43) Y'ALL I'M BACK FROM WORK WITH TWO NEW FIC CONCEPTS (well, one new one, one might just be implemented into a more casual fic bc the idea itself is really funny but I need an actual plot for it.)

BUT ONE OF THEM REVOLVES AROUND HALLOWEEN SO WHEN I'M DONE ALL OF MY PROJECTS ARE GETTING PUSHED BACK BC THIS IS GONNA BE SOOOOOO FUN.

(also I'm done being sad for rn I gen thought I was gonna get fired today (not at all my fault btw) but I didn't! so yippie!<3)

(9:45) guys idk if this isn't reading as ominous because Im genuinely so desensitized to all things spooky and I've been working on this for like, days straight (again) or if it's not reading as ominous because it's not.

which makes me wanna scream bc that means I'm gonna have to wait A WHILE BEFORE I LET MYSELF ACTUALLY PROPERLY REREAD THIS LMAOOOO (this is actually so annoying)

(2:27) okay so I got distracted for like three hours on this Halloween project but then decided I didn't want to write it so I'm back on Genesis....

Guys...

I didn't know exactly how I wanted the exact end sequence to happen. Like I had a lot of ideas, some I kept.

BUT WHEN I FUCKING TELL YOU GUYS.

I was cursing myself bc I'm allowed to have creative freedom and I made Wendy and Brimmy close bc I just phoned it in idk and I got in to deep to change it but I was like wait no that's stupid why did I do that but then I was like no fuck it we ball Brimmy and Wendy duo it's fine (I genuinely love them ngl, I will be writing them again)

THAT WAS THE WORST THING I COULD'VE DONE BC IT JUST MADE THE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS AT THE END THAT MUCH MORE FUCKING UPSETTING.

I don't know how to cope with this...

Oh also I'm writing 37 rn. We're at 113.5k.

I'm literally almost done. I actually feel sick LMFAOOOO

(2:38) It's not done but I just finished 37. I feel like I'm about to go into shock... I'm at 114k and IN SHOCKKKKK.

Like, I still gotta fill in a few flashbacks and finish up chapter 32, but WOW.

This is like, done. My life is ruined.

(7:05) guys pls tell me how I have just been like in giggle and kick my feet reading ff gear since I finished genesis bc I cant bear to reread and fully finish it tn

and my all of my playlists are cycling through

and Im just like reading this cute lil ff that is HEALING ME after all the shit I just put my cast through

and Baby Kia starts playing. Like my brother in christ it is 7 in the morning…

I am laughing so hard over this I had to sit up and restart one of my playlists bc I cant rn

no one needs to listen to BK at 7am

ANYWAYS after I go to bed (I lowk might stay up to finish reading this fic tho Im on 8/14 and I am NOTORIOUS for picking something up and not sleeping til I finish it if its under 100k (were not discussing this) and I am very invested) I might be MIA all day bc physics labs and my first exam are both due tm.

I probably wont be MIA all day bc I wanna start my halloween project (that all of like two people will prob find as funny as I do, and Im totally fucking fine with that bc I gencthink its so funny.)

OH AND ALSO I decided that this halloween project may be apart of the morning glory/dandelion verse but well get to that when we get there

[televinita]

Library Triage!

I have a reading triage on deck, but first I gotta plow through my actual mother-of-god-how-do-they-multiply-so-fast library checkouts first to try and make sense of them all (27!! with like. at least 10 active requests and/or books I'm gonna pull off the shelf tomorrow)

DVDs I Checked Out For Circ Numbers And/Or Have Watched And Can Return Any Time Now: 6 (CSI Vegas; Hours; Anywhere But Here; Little Women PBS version; La Brea S2; Doctor Who S10 -- i assure you this last one was pure circ numbers)

Books Ready to Return: 2 (Miss Nelson is Missing - checked out purely by chance for funsies and circ numbers when I saw it; The Runaway's Diary graphic novel)

Books I Have Read But Am Keeping 'Til I Write Reviews: 2 (The Last Bookseller; Home Before Dark)

CDs Out: 2 (one Maddie & Tae as a fun option to have in the car; one Loreena McKennitt, although honestly that one is probably ready to go back; Lost Souls didn't grab me)

---------

Other DVDs Out: 10 (!!) (listen I am Going Hard on my vow to single-handedly prove physical media still has value to patrons and the library should not consider eliminating it. there has been no actual discussion of this but I see the DVD section shrinking, I see it!!)

Marley & Me: this WAS just for circ numbers but now I'm looking at it like "oh yeah this movie is amazing actually" and I've kinda been on an Owen Wilson kick this year, so maybe I should actually watch it first.

2-4. Scott & Bailey, S3-5: these were ALSO just for circ numbers but then I remembered I actually do like this show and it's weird I never got past S2*...so I've watched S3 and now I kind of want to finish, and also want to keep them all out so they can be returned and easily reshelved together. (*i also realized one episode into S3 that I may not have actually gotten past 2x03? but oh well no looking back; I hated those 3 episodes so SURGING FORWARD)

5. Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor: I! Will! Watch! It! (ONE of these times it's gotta actually go through...)

6. Doctor Who: Series 11 (Thirteen my beloved!! What if...what IF I wanted to randomly start)

7. Doctor Who: The Animation Collection: "WHAT U MEAN GEORGIA TENNANT VOICED A (non-Jenny) COMPANION CHARACTER IN ONE OF THESE FEATURING TEN I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED." and I thought I might revisit Infinite Quest while I'm at it, though I have thus far done neither.

8. Good Omens: when you finish S2 and are immediately like "I need the option to revisit season 1 right now, in a way where you can easily skip around to favorite parts in the episodes in VLC instead of struggling through the laggy Amazon Prime interface," but now it's been over a month and you haven't actually opened the case. but you still might. (I should probably throw in the towel huh)

9. Around the World in 80 Days: oh yeah. forgot I started this. (Suranne Jones and the rest of the lady police gang are very distracting ok)

10. Broadchurch, S3: originally for circ numbers and then I remembered I actually never got around to this season (but am still excited to! eventually!)

-------

Other Books Out: 5

1. Cabin Tripping: mostly a coffee table book, beautiful photos based on the Instagram of the same name with a bit of text. I wanted to look through it properly and use it to get myself in the mood for the RV / road trip books I was considering reading, but I think those have receded into the temporary background so I should probably send this back as well. temporarily.

2. Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook: have I watched more than 3 full episodes of this show in my life? still no. but since dollsome-does-tumblr's tumblr has given me almost all the information I could possibly need about this show, I feel like I know it and ever since I randomly saw this on the library shelf, I have been obsessed with the entire vibe and aesthetic of this oversized book and its mouthwatering photos and can't stop paging through it. (have I tried making any of the recipes? also definitely no) (would that I had a personal chef or at least a talented local friend!)

3. The Little Book of Hygge: this is at least the third hygge book I have checked out on a whim but can't actually read because I just get too overwhelmed by how cute and cozy the mere idea is. But that won't stop me clinging to it with a death grip 'til my renewals run out.

4. Good as Gold - Candace Buford: oh finally an actual novel i might actually read (if I don't get distracted by my GIANT INCOMING STACK, considering I checked this out a full month ago). I am actually very excited by the prospect of this YA novel about searching for a lost treasure of local legend (to pay for college). I don't honestly know why I haven't yet!

5. Lessons From Tara: Life Advice From the World's Most Brilliant Dog - David Rosenfelt: A Goodreads friend read this, which reminded me how much I loved Dogtripping and wanted to read more stories about his big fluffy dogs. Which led me to learn there is only one copy of this 2015 release left at my library so whoops, gotta show interest (and ideally even read it?) before it disappears.

[avoresmith]

Hair Thoughts

AV I want to do A Cool Thing With My Hair Bu-

DO IT. DO THE COOL HAIR THING*

(*From this point on we will assume I’m talking about people in situations where Doing The Cool Thing Hair will not result in you losing your job, place to live, or for some reason otherwise be dangerous to you, and isn’t about a white person looking to culturally appropriate some other culture’s rad hair styles.)

I have the fortune to live in Seattle where I can do what the fuck ever I want and people will be positive and receptive, and most places of businesses honestly don’t give a shit (I see LOTS of customer service people with Real Sweet Hair.), but I still really often get ‘I want to do X but I’m afraid to for Y reasons’. So let this be a general purpose post of reasons you should do the thing and tips on how to do some of those things.

Your hair grows back

Beauty standards that tell you that you can only look attractive with a certain style of haircut are bullshit

Frankly all notions of ‘bad hair cuts’ are just perspective, but fearing them limits you from having hair you TRULY LOVE

There is an ENTIRE INTERNET full of DIY guides and youtube channels for all manner of self hair care so you can do things relatively cheap.

Yes you’ll fuck up sometimes but good news: hair grows back, and you get better with practice

Bodies are hard, they suck, you can’t always control much about them. You can’t be short if you are tall, other anatomical changes may be possible with a lot of dollars but having a lot of dollars is hard, maintaining weight and muscle mass is a daily struggle and long term commitment. Meanwhile, hair? You can do that shit in a few hours, if you don’t like it you can change it, if you really don’t like it it will fix itself given some time. You can change your mind about how you want it to look every few months, or every day if you get really good at Doing Dos. 

Basically it’s like make up, but with a little more commitment, a little more sticking power, and I (personally) think a lot more ability to empower you to Feel Good About You.

YOUR HAIR GROWS BACK

NOW, I, PERSONALLY. Am white with an undercut and I dye my hair various multihued bright colors on a regular basis: pics here

So I can offer various tips on those things under the cut:

ON BLEACHING

Color won’t take to natural hair very well, though obviously lighter colors will do better. But part of the process of bleaching hair opens up the hair to let color IN, so if you skip this step it fades faster.

Bleaching yourself is honestly real easy. Find some DIY guides, do the thing. 

Bleaching is bleach mixed with volumizer, you can buy ‘bleaching kits’ for specific hair types that give you measurements, or just by powdered bleach and large bottles of volumizer in bulk. I do the latter. 

If your hair is blond to medium brown, don’t use a volumizer higher than 20 for any reason, you can probably get away with using 10. (I use 20).

If your hair is darker than that, research it, but have also used 20 on my friend’s hair and just watched it closely and kept it wet. I’ve used 30 as well but 20 works as long as I keep an eye on it and make sure it stays wet. I can get very dark brown hair to a bright gold with this.

If you have Very Dark Hair and absolutely MUST get like White or Platinum Blond. Dooo your research, do hair tests, find several DIYs specifically targeting your natural hair color AND desired hair color. Possibly save up to have a professional who works specifically with what you want do it the first time, then ask them what products they use/pay a lot of attention so you can repro at home.

Bleach works as long as it’s wet, if you let it dry it stops bleaching your hair and is only poisoning it, keep it moist while it is on, it also works better if warm.

DON’T BLEACH ALREADY BLEACHED HAIR. Don’t do it!!! All of the horror stories about people melting their hair is from either leaving it on way too long or bleaching multiple times. You bleach once, and then you dye, then you let that color wash out until it’s light enough that you can dye again. Just bleach your roots when they come back in and otherwise let it go.

Obviously when you bleach your roots there will be a litttle bit of overlap into already bleached hair, this has never hurt me. If you want to know if your hair can handle a second bleaching google tests for that, but what I’m mostly warning against her is ‘don’t try to bleach the dye out of your hair that is a Bad Plan’.

If you are dying your hair some bright colors with vegetable dyes, bright yellow is totally good enough. If you want to dye your hair like Mint Green you’ll need to get it to a platinum blond THEN tone it to white, which I don’t know anything about other than that it’s more work than I want to deal with, but you can totally google this! There are lots of white hair dye guides on youtube!

ON DYEING

VEGETABLE DYES FADE! No matter how bright and saturated you get them and how hard you try, it will run out. This is fine! You will be MUCH HAPPIER if you go in liking blue and also lighter blue and also blue green and all the different ways you hair can fade than being married to one specific tone that must never budge.

Tho that said, if you are coloring your hair That One Hue, it’s pretty easy to work some dye into your hair washing regimen every couple of weeks to keep the color alive, or mix the dye with your conditioner so every time you condition you’re getting a bit more of the color back in!

Dye fades FASTER from warm water and shampoo

As such, when I am maintaining a color I shampoo every four days with cold water, and when I want to wash it out so I can move on to the next color, I shampoo every other day with warm.

The color will probably never fade entirely, as such once you apply a dye you have basically changed the color of your canvas for future dyes. 

I.E.: The first time you’re going to be putting say, red on yellow, when that fades, maybe you are putting blue on pink, this blue will fade into the pink so you may end up with a pale purple instead of pale blue. 

Some basic color theory helps here. If you dye your hair purple and it fades to pink, don’t put green over it next time. You need to work around the color wheel. So if you put a blue over it and when that fades to a blue/purple you can put a green over it and it will fade to light teal. Don’t put contrasting colors that are gonna gray each other out on top of each other.

Similarly, if you want a PINK CHUNK and a GREEN CHUNK on the same head, you can do that. but when you wash your hair/when the hair is wet, separate them so they don’t bleed into each other. (This isn’t as much trouble as it sounds like, I constantly have contrasting chunks on my head).

You can mix vegetable dyes like paints (that’s basically what they are) to get the color you want. The color you get will usually be a bit lighter and brighter than the dye itself.

I use manic panic, which are about 12 dollars a jar and perfectly fine for me. I haven’t noticed a difference between the jars and the special Amplified version except that the shit in squeeze bottles is way easier to open.

The vast majority of the time, my hair only stains if it is wet, and only for the first week or two. So I sleep on at towel if I go to bed with my hair wet and otherwise don’t worry about it. There has been ONE exception to this, Rockabilly Blue, which will stain my hands if I run them thru my hair too much for the first week after dying.

Color Faves

Manic Panic’s Vampire Red is the Reddest Mc Red Blood Red color of red I’ve found. Other reds tend to be a little more orangy or pinkish or kind of muddy.

Manic Panic’s Rockabilly Blue is the bluest mc blue pure deep bluest blue I’ve found. But see above about the staining.

I use Electric Lizard as a green base a lot, mixed with other darker greens it can have more body to the color but still that bright green sheen that lasts a long time.

That said with the exception of reds sometimes being disappointing, I’ve really never found a color I dislike?

I change my hair color roughly every 6-8 weeks. THe longer you let it fade the easier it is to put a different color on top and have it stick. But dye isn’t bad for your hair, it’s actually a conditioner, so you can change the color basically as often as you want and the only risk of ill effects is creating a muddy color, which you can avoid with basic color theory. 

If you do want to get a color stripped as quickly as possible, just wash regularly with hot water and johnson’s baby shampoo or any shampoo that advertising stripping color and then put something new on top.

Yes, you can also dye back to a ‘normal’ hair color, tho color theory still applies (if you want to go brown, which is orange, and put it over pale blue hair, the resulting color will be a bit grayed out).

NONE OF THE ABOVE APPLIES TO BLACK HAIR, which is REALLY HARD to ever get out, tho I have seen professionals do it.

ON UNDERCUTS

HAIR GROWS BACK!!

Undercuts can be hidden surprisingly easily. In fact, buzzing off the under layer of a hair is one method to help hair lay flat (IE if you want a smooth bob). 

So I have over half of my hair shaven off (right left and back) but if I part it down the middle you can only see the undercut up near my ears.

So if you keep your hair undercut somewhere that you can drop hair over it, you can have an undercut and ‘hide’ it from your workplace or family or whatever pretty easily.

If you have thick hair, undercuts are amazing. I literally will never go back to a full head of hair. I like long hair but I never need that much of it again.

I buzz my hair about once a month to keep it where i’m more or less happy with it. Lots of hair places will advertise like 10$ buzz cuts in the window and take care of that in about five minutes. 

I’ve also recently learned it’s pretty easy to buzz my own hair. It’s not quite as clean as if someone else does it but it’s less effort and money for me.

IDK undercuts aren’t complicated but they are kind of scary. But if you’ve ever wanted to do it, you should do it!! I find it very empowering. Fuck you hair you aren’t the boss of me and you’re soooooo soft and fun to touch when buzzed down.

I think that covers basically everything I generally get asked but feel free to hit me up if you have questions.

DO IT, LIVE YOUR HAIR DREAMS, WHATEVER THEY ARE.

[with-the-flickers-of-light]

"I mean his most recent crappy behaviour (podcast) was in February. So the whole 'hes changed' doesn't really make sense, like it was at that point she must have been planning the anti hero performance" (via @hartley-ever-happens)

To start -- I'm not going to go into speculation about the details of their relationship, because I don't think that's my place, but. The timelines are messy (especially with the Ice Spice feature on the Til Dawn Karma, MV, and on tour)., and that makes it hard to interpret.

Either way, though, Anti-Hero was actually before Cum Town. I did not realize that (it was more horrified staring at all the messes separately, but not in order). So. Not a great look.

Timeline of events to the best of my knowledge and more discussion below the cut:

March 2016: The it-would-be-emasculating comment (clarified that month as being out of "fears of being 'somebody's boyfriend' [...] before even being recognized [...] in my own right")

October 2022: “I refuse now to comment on the morally obvious. I’m not proving that I’m not racist. I’m not proving that I’m pro-women. I’m not proving I’m on the left. I’ve done that dance, I’ve done that game, I’ve done the work. I’m not interested in any insinuation that I am bigoted or racist or sexist for the enjoyment of someone on the internet.” <- i don't find this very compelling particularly considering his later cum town quotes

January 2023: Anti-Hero debut at The 1975 concert

February 2023: Cum Town episode released (includes remarks on Ice Spice, GG, etc.)

March 2023: Swift/Alwyn split breaks

c. April 10: Deleted Instagram account, saying “It’s because everything happens in eras. The 1975 is a very eras band. The era of me being a fucking arsehole is coming to an end. I’ve had enough,” and proclaimed "era of [him] being a fucking arsehole is coming to an end" because "I can’t perform off the stage anymore as I just want to be a bloke" (????)

April 21: Apologized [...ish. i wouldn't count it] to Ice Spice for offensive remarks ("I feel a bit bad [...] I'm embarrassed")

May 1: Karma is released as a single

May 3: The Sun reports that Swift/Healy are together

May 5: Speak Now (Taylor's Version) is announced

May 5: Healy appears at the Eras Tour VIP tent

May 6, 12-14: Healy performs with Bridgers in the Eras Tour opener

May 7: Healy seen supported by Swift's friends (Hadid and Aldridge) at Eras Tour VIP tent

May 11: Swift/Healy photographed together at restaurant (with Antonoff)

May 13: Healy appears at the Eras Tour in the box with Scott Swift

May 15: Swift/Healy photographed together at Electric Lady

May 20: Swift says she has "never been this happy"

May 22: Midnights (Love Potion) vinyl released for 48 hours

May 26: Midnights (Til Dawn) available for sale in East Rutherford and online for 24 hours

May 26-27 (date of post): Ice Spice performs with Swift for Karma on the Eras Tour

recent rumors: potential public kiss, something about scott being sus of matty. idk i'm not really keeping track and do not feel like verifying tabloid rumors.

Ok. So. I skipped most of his controversies, and I didn't touch on any of his political statements, because I don't think we need to review all of that. But putting it all in order like that... Yeah, I'm also having some trouble believing that he was actually a good person whenever they decided to get together. And, again, putting it in order like that, it feels very much like they were trying to clean up his image. (And pull a lot of PR. 2 limited edition rereleases of the same album in 4 days?) Which, of course, means that they were aware.

In that sense, "he's changed" can't really be a valid explanation for why she chose to platform him. It would only reasonably come up as "we've both changed and realized how harmful his past behavior has been", in an apology for her complicity.

((again, this is a sideblog, so replying to comments in rbs))

I've seen some discussion of "what would it take to make fans (the ones who've stopped listening to her music, etc.) feel comfortable with Taylor again after this?", and I just want to throw in my two cents.

(To be clear, before I say anything else, it's completely okay if it would take something different for you to feel comfortable, whether that's more or less. And it's also okay if you're still comfortable listening to her music, going to her concerts, etc. even if she never says anything.

And she's also not obligated to do any of this ever. This is only about sharing how I feel.)

First up: timelines.

I've seen the concerns some fans have had about her safety should she speak up, given the stalking/lurking/not sure what to call it behavior of people at Electric Lady. And while I feel like denouncing things like Ghetto Gaggers should not be so controversial as to cause a security concern, that's not my field and I don't live in the US, so it's not my say. (Seriously, what is happening over there? On that note, this blog believes in abortion, gender-affirming surgery, the existence of drag, etc.) And even if it's not a big risk, I can understand the anxiety it could cause.

Anyways, for that reason, I'll personally be okay with it if she gives an official statement on this at a later date, such as at the end of the Eras Tour, to minimize safety risks and anxiety. And I'm definitely ok with it if she never says anything live (i.e. onstage, etc.) because it's complicated and it can be hard to put shit into words.

In the short-term, though, I would still need to either stop seeing Healy onstage at the Eras Tour, or get an apology/explanation from Swift and/or Healy. Again, not my field, but I wouldn't imagine that Healy not performing onstage at a Swift concert would be controversial enough to create a security concern.

(I also know that he's going on tour with The 1975 soon, so I guess he wouldn't be showing up then either way.)

In the time after the tour, when Swift has no obligation to appear in public, if she's still platforming Healy without an explanation, my hope will probably be dead.

What constitutes an apology/explanation?

I've already said on this blog that I don't feel Healy's past apologies have been acceptable ones. They've focused on "I feel a bit bad", "if you've felt offended", "it was just a joke", "it was misconstrued", "don't think I'm an asshole", "I'm embarrassed", and other turns of phrase that don't take real accountability. So what would I accept as an apology?

I think that for Healy, if I ever want to feel comfortable listening to his music, I would need an apology to include acknowledging the harm he's caused, accepting accountability for that, and promising to educate himself and do better in the future. And while I don't need to hear apologies for every single incident, I would expect something more than just "sorry for everything" or "sorry for that one time". I don't need to see a monetary donation to the groups he's targeted or outspoken political advocacy, but they would be helpful in affirming that he truly wishes to do better.

In Swift's case, I'd want an affirmation that she supports all the marginalized groups that Healy has targeted, and an apology for acting in a way that made her concerts and community feel unsafe. I'm not asking for her to become an outspoken BLM activist or anything -- I know she's a singer, not an activist, no matter what Miss Americana said -- but I would like her to address the things she's tacitly supported. Like Healy, it's not necessary, but given her net worth, putting her money where her mouth is would also be nice.

So, in the end, what I need to feel comfortable with Swift is one of the following:

Healy apologizes. Swift explains that in knowing him personally, she felt that Healy was no longer the piece of shit he was at the time of his crappy behavior. Swift apologizes for failing to realize the impact his past behavior would have on fans.

Healy apologizes for his actions OR Swift separates from Healy. She acknowledges her privilege in failing to realize how harmful his behavior has been and apologizes.

In the absence of either, I will be finding other artists to listen to. (I mean, I'm already doing that? But I mean she'll be permanently off my playlists.)

[voughtfcrged]

i hope this isn't a weird message, but seeing someone in their 40's still roleplaying made me really happy. i recently hit a birthday milestone and as i get older i worry i have to give up my hobbies because it's only for young people, or it's too "juvenile", but seeing people do what makes them happy even when the rpc sometimes treats anyone over 25 as old makes me feel so happy <3 :)

This isn't weird at all thank you SO MUCH for sending this in !!! I'll be honest, I've -never- understood the weird ageism in roleplay that crops up from time to time.

Let's start with, life experience is a major boon when it comes to writing. Not just the likelihood of having read and written more, watched and listened to more media, but just pure life experiences. Literally seen and done more, even if someone's life has been limited by inability to travel or smaller social circles or whatever they've literally had more conversations, interactions, seen more happen in the world around them that enables them to have a broader perspective and richer knowledge base to draw from to write.

Add to that, typically, older muns are wiser and far less likely to be part of the Dramatic events and just general fuckery that happens now and then -- not always, but usually.

Then the actual writing experience comes into play? I've been roleplaying for 27 years which is longer than some of my writing partners have been alive okay, even if I'm not great? There's still just - experience. And honestly look at some of the more famous authors out there that didn't hit their writing stride til their forties or older but you're telling me, King comes in at 70 something and you're gonna tell him NAH MAN YOU'RE TOO OLD TO WRITE ANYMORE -- it's just --

Like I said. I've never understood that mindset. SO -- let me just say, happy belated birthday and please, please, please don't ever let anyone else dictate what you can and can't do if it brings you joy (so long as it's legal and with consenting adults =P).

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Art Hell Meets Tales from D&D: He Lives

Hello there. If any of you are familiar with Ravenloft lore you're probably very confused. And even if you aren't, I'm going to explain this anyway in a newbie-friendly fashion.

So I run a Ravenloft-based D&D campaign and the artificer was out for three consecutive sessions. I was finally able to make up for lost time with her, and one of my goals for the session was further her little questline.

Basically, there is a kid named Irik Zal'honan. He is the son of Firan Zal'honan, otherwise known as Azalin Rex. Irik was killed by Azalin via an execution in order for Azalin to demonstrate to his subjects that his laws apply equally to all.

To make a long story short, Azalin eventually gets ran out of his original kingdom on account of being a lich and tyrant. He runs into the Mists and is given a gilded cage in the form of a new kingdom that obeys his every whim and is the largest within the Mists. The spirit of his son follows him, and Azalin now wants to escape cause he can't learn new magic while in the Mists so he can't bring his son back plus other reasons, but basically his son is also in the Mists as a ghost.

So the party found Irik's soul bound within a sword during their time going through Barovia. For a while, he was stuck within, able to project himself only about 60ft away and unable to interact with the human components of his father; the side of his father he still has faith in.

Enter the artificer.

She takes up an apprenticeship under an NPC named Yusuf Reid, usually called, Spark, and asks about souls and the like, and Spark gives her some of his old notes and prototypes concerning trapping and holding a soul for a potential body swap. A manual reincarnate if you will.

So she goes back and studies the materials for a while, then comes up with a design for a new body for Irik because she feels bad for the kid/wants to be able to talk with him more and is eventually planning on putting him into an actual fleshy body. I have her make three checks initially.

This bitch rolls a 27, 33, and 31.

Alright. Dope.

The above is the result.

There's more that I'll have to draw in later but that above is his out-of-combat self. In-combat, he can draw out a longsword and shortsword that are folded into his forearms, and he has a scaled-down shoulder-mounted eldritch cannon because, and I quote, "he should have a ranged option."

All I told her was Irik would favor being dextrous and fast, rogue-like. And this player RAN with the ideas. She decided he should be darker colors for better stealth, though it doesn't work too well at current since the party is in a desert domain (hence the outfit right). His face should be robotic over humanoid in order to avoid freaking people out with the uncanny valley (but I added the eyebrows so he can emote better). She also decided he wouldn't have a jaw because why not. Every aspect of the design, minus the clothes and eyebrows, is her ideas 100%. I didn't even suggest a humanoid body for the kid to inhabit, I just said "what do you want to make the new vessel?" and even suggested making it a ring or maybe a projected illusion but she went "no I want to make him something humanoid so he can interact with the world" and I am.

So happy.

ANYWAY, I'm also sleep deprived cause I stayed up til 8:30am working on this and I am extremely proud of how the piece turned out.