#and coz of lack of sleep and leaving the house I'm just foggy and exhausted all the time :c

[localrye]

September is *my month* but I'm so overwhelmed I don't even feel excited and happy like I usually do. Had a room renovations recently, it exhausted me badly and didn't even turn out as I hoped, fucked up my knee by kneeling and squatting a lot during the renovations and it still feels weird, the nerves in my arm are better since mid August but still aren't fully functional and hurt sometimes (idk when I'll afford physical therapy), I have to run some errands basically every other day, I struggle to sleep every other day, I feel pretty bad mentally since a few days again and if that wasn't enough - my phone started fucking up two days ago and I really don't want to be getting a new (used) one, though I've had it for 3 years and previous owner had it for 2 so I guess it's not surprising it started to fuck up. But it's just. So much hassle!!! All I want is to experience September like I usually do, by having kind of a slow chill month where I spend a lot of time in the forest and at my parents' garden and make a lot of art and play video games and just rest after the summer. I always feel so happy and alive during autumn. But can't even enjoy it now coz everything is too much and I feel very bad :c