#and clearly mrs graves doesn't care if her spouse screws up since she took him with her. and he knew about it.

[saltydogsmut]

Well I’d say it’s not really that Andrew is a bad boyfriend but rather he just doesn’t care about Julia at all. He doesn’t have a ‘treat your girlfriend bad’ condition he has a ‘don’t care about anyone that’s not your sister’ condition. A lot of Andrew’s frustrations come from hiding his feelings for Ashley, so if he embraces those he’ll be more chill

[Tw abuse]

?????

I think getting in, staying in, and perpetuating a relationship with someone you don't care about romantically is bad boyfriend behaviour.

Lying about how much you care about them, lying about knowing who is doing things to scare them, and lying that it's not a big deal are all bad boyfriend behaviours.

Even when Julia minimises it, he can't admit it's Ashley, and gets aggro when she points out his behaviour towards her borders on inappropriate.

I get that the world is a depressing place where people get into relationships solely so they aren't single and don't actually care about who they're with, but just because it's a thing doesn't negate the fact that it sucks to do that to someone.

I get you mean that he wouldn't be a bad boyfriend to Ashley, but obviously I disagree.

Andrew is a bad boyfriend.

Onto his red flags is his immediate and open affection as manipulation, which we can see he does with Julia to get her to drop and forget about topics he doesn't like or want to talk about. He starts being like that with Ashley too in her route. More specifically when she's being contemplative or speaking about their past.

Andrew also doesn't want to take responsibility for any part he played in enabling Ashley's behaviour or his own minimisation and lies about her behaviour to Julia's face. Andrew clearly doesn't mind lying to his girlfriend, using her solely to deflect from rumours about him and his sister, and apparently feels no shame in doing this to her even after knowing nina was julia's best friend who he murdered. And even knowing how serious Ashley could be about killing someone, didn't take any action to encourage her to stay safe and away from Ashley. He took no responsibility for the break up, just like he tries to never take responsibility for his own part in choosing to kill for Ashley, or go along with her plans.

Andrew seems to have a problem with control, specifically limiting or restrictions on his urges and behaviours. Slamming the phone when with Julia as she's suggesting chilling it with Ashley, getting frosty when julia says he doesn't have to go see ashley whenever she says the word, specifically giving himself an out so that Ashley wouldn't be the only girl Andrew could spend time with, his insistence on smoking, his behaviour about money and food- making himself the sole arbiter of both- and placing himself as the final say in any plan Ashley comes up with, giving himself automatic veto powers. The ones with Ashley can be excused as typical family stuff, at least at first, but the decay route shows just how much of a cold shoulder and bad mood he'll get into when he can't control Ashley's behaviour of calling him Andy or thinks he doesn't have the upper hand in their relationship. He starts slamming things in order to control Julia's behaviour as well.

Speaking of the decay route, he'll just straight up misrepresent what people say in order to win an emotional argument. Julia doesn't think Andrew has ever done anything inappropriate with Ashley, but he puts those words in her mouth so she'll back down from the topic. He does the same with Ashley and says he never gets a choice with her plans, but he literally drove them over to their parent's house? And suggests a dumb plan he doesn't even want (turning themselves in) so he can blow up at Ashley and make her back off the topic of plans, because he doesn't have one.

Every bad behaviour he's shown towards Julia he's also shown towards Ashley. In fact he may have chosen Julia as a partner specifically because it would set off Ashley more and cause her discomfort. Or because she's was the only person weak willed enough to tolerate his weird behaviour with his sister, which even his own mother found suspicious.

Julia gets the brunt of it with less stressing behaviour because she's his girlfriend. We never see him do the same to his mother, friends, or father. Only people he has a romantic interest in, Julia and Ashley. Sure we have limited perspectives, but in my opinion, Andrew wants a doormat as a partner, but also wants someone to superficially put all the responsibility onto for his own bad behaviour. Because Julia cries he never escalates with her, but if she didn't and stood up for herself I think he would have put his hands around her throat too like he did to Ashley.

Oh. And he blames his outbursts in them being frustrating, rather than his own ability to manage his temper.

I am firmly in the camp that Andrew is bad news romantically, and his behaviour would only escalate as he tried to gain more control using love as a weapon. And if Ashley is to be believed, the end for all Andrew's failed romantic interests is death.

Tldr: we don't see him act like this to random people or other family members, only people he's in a "relationship" with. Run Ashley. RUN.