#and chaewon doesn't like natasha no

[natasha-in-space]

Picrew link

Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee

A vignette I wrote on a whim after playing around in Picrew! Basically the aftermath of Ray's and Natasha's (Saeran's MC) escape from Mint Eye. Rika doesn't take it too well. Chaewon offers comfort. Do they come to a healthy and reasonable resolution? Of course not :)

Exhaustion weighed heavily upon Chaewon's shoulders as her legs carried her up the many winding stairs to the top floor of Magenta, many thoughts plaguing her mind. Things have been a mess in the last week. That cursed traitor showing up out of the blue, Natasha's apparent betrayal that she always knew was brewing somewhere under the surface, and now... Ray's completely unforseen escape, to top it all off.

She expected Natasha to turn tail the moment the opportunity arose, but Ray? Chaewon wouldn't admit it, but even she felt somewhat betrayed by his rather selfish decision to leave them all behind like that. Guess a pretty girl was all it took for him to abandon the same people who cared and protected him for these past few years.

He left Magenta completely defenseless. Didn't even have the courage to face the Savior head-on before disappearing. Just left in the middle of the night with that joke of an assistant of his.

...They should have never let him keep her.

While wandering through the hallway, Chaewon saw the open door to Rika's chambers. Rika's voice caused her to pause and her eye widened as she heard the obvious distress in her voice, muffled sniffs and sobs reaching her ears through the door. She immediately felt a sense of concern, and she frowned slightly as she paused in the doorway.

"Rika?" as she entered the chambers without invitation, she whispered softly and closed the door behind her. Only she was allowed to come and go as she pleased. Not to mention call her by her name. She preferred not to do that, usually, but... Right now, it just felt right. The state Rika was in caused her eyes to widen. There she was, her small form curled up on her bed, her head tucked away into her knees. A sight not befitting of a Savior that the believers were made to love and adore. But a sight she knew too well, "Are you alright? I've ordered our Security Unit to replace Ray in the meantime, but it's... challenging."

Rika was seemingly so focused on her internal conflicts and negative thoughts that she didn't even realize the door was opening behind her. Another worrying sign that Chaewon did not like to see. When she heard her bodyguard's soft voice, she raised her head quickly. As she looked at her, her expression grew more depressed and she closed her eyes.

"...No, I'm not... I'm not okay," she murmured while lowering her head and placing her hands on her face.

As Chaewon heard Rika's words, her frown deepened, and the sight of her with her head down made her chest ache. She moved closer until she was in front of her bed and crouched down, gently grasping Rika's wrists and carefully removing her hands from her face.

"Hey, look at me," her tone was soft and full of concern, accompanied by gentle words. So very different from the firm and cold voice she would use with everyone else. Much like Rika would only let her see her like this, Rika was the only one who would bring out that caring side of her that was seemingly long gone by this point. They both knew sides of each other no one else was allowed to see. She kept holding Rika's wrists as she waited for her to look down at her.

As if the soft voice and gesture had a strange influence on her, Rika slowly raised her head to look at Chaewon who was kneeling at her bedside, like a loyal knight would for the one they've sworn to serve. Her eyes were slightly red, giving her an expression of being at her limit.

It was just as unusual to see her with a soft and vulnerable gaze. Rika Kim, the one who was leading Mint Eye into the eternal paradise, now felt so lost and alone...

How pathetic, is what she probably thought.

The state that Rika was in caused Chaewon's breath to hitch. Rika's eyes caught her gaze, making her chest ache and heart skip a beat. At that moment, all she wanted was to wrap the woman sitting in front of her in her arms and hold her close, but she had to resist the sudden urge. She exhaled, gently squeezing Rika's wrists.

"Come here," her voice was quiet and soft as she spoke faintly. Without waiting for a response, she leaned up and pulled Rika into her arms, holding her tightly.

Rika was clearly taken by surprise when she suddenly found herself in Chaewon's embrace, but she didn't put up any resistance. Be it by her genuine desire, or her desperate need for comfort, she couldn't help but lean into her, letting her emotions carry her weight. She was so tiny like this. Especially next to Chaewon who could rival V in height, the broadness of her stature carrying with itself a rather intimidating appearance. A stark contrast to Rika's smaller and softer figure. However, in reality, Chaewon was never the one in control. Rika hid her face in her chest, her body trembled slightly and tears began to fall down her cheeks again.

"Ray was right to choose her over me. I'm a monster..." she whispered as she sobbed.

"No, you're not," Chaewon responded immediately, her voice firm but soft, as she held Rika close to her. Her heart broke when she saw her like this and heard how Rika thought of herself. Rika was held tight by her arm, while the other one gently rubbed her back in a comforting manner, "You're not a monster, Rika."

Her chin rested on top of Rika's head as she gently repeated herself.

Chaewon's shirt was stained by tears that continued to run down Rika's cheeks. It's like she tried to escape her inner torment by pressing herself against her bodyguard that was sworn to protect her. The sobs continued to escape her mouth, causing her body to tremble slightly. In one smooth movement, Chaewon laid them both down onto the soft covers, with them now laying on their sides, facing each other.

"Yes, I am..." Rika whispered softly. For once, her guilt and remorse were like a heavy burden on her shoulders, and she couldn't shake off the feeling of being a bad person she always knew she was. She was consumed by her own self-destructive thoughts, believing that she deserved all the suffering she was currently experiencing.

But she was a weak willed person. Not at all like Ray or Natasha. She was still scared of the pain, of the loneliness, of being left behind. She couldn't accept her mistakes. Not fully.

Accepting them meant facing every single thing she had done wrong in all the years of her life.

And that was terrifying.

Rika's tears were making Chaewon's shirt fully wet now, but she didn't care. She only cared about providing Rika with the comfort she needed at that moment. She remained close to her while slowly running her hand up and down her back in an effort to calm her.

"Stop it," she spoke with a gentle tone, her voice still a bit gruff, but soft. Hearing Rika talk about herself in that way was unbearable to her, "You're not a monster. You're a good person, Rika."

When Chaewon contradicted her, Rika felt a strange sense of comfort blooming in her chest ever so faintly. Her body was shaking in her arms while she buried her wet and tear-stained face in her bodyguard's chest.

"How can you say that so easily...?" she spoke in a shaky manner, "How can you say that... after everything... I've done...?"

Her sobs grew louder once more and she tightened her grip on her former friend's shirt.

Chaewon's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't heard Rika speak like that in years. Sure, she had her moments of vulnerability, and even breakdowns, but... This was no longer the Savior of Mint Eye, she realized. This was Rika just like she knew her prior to their new lives here in Magenta.

This was her friend just like she remembered her.

But this feeling was a bittersweet one, not a joyous one. Even Chaewon knew that they crossed a point of no return a long while ago. They both did so willingly. And they both now had sins to bear. Sins that Chaewon could not take away from Rika, even if she wanted to.

Still...

In an effort to comfort her, she allowed Rika to hold on to her shirt slightly tighter while still rubbing her back. Rika's words caused her heart to hurt as she replayed them in her head again.

"Because I know you," her voice was quiet and gentle as she replied softly. She slowly slid her hand up and gently ran her fingers through Rika's hair. She kept her close by leaning her chin on top of her head again, "I know you're a good person, Rika."

Rika felt like she was floating on air thanks to Chaewon's words and the soft touch of her hand through her hair. She felt less alone and isolated from the world when she was comforted in this way. She always did. Inhaling deeply, she tried to calm the sobs that still shook her body.

"Ray chose her over me. A girl he knew for less than a year. He chose to leave, to abandon me for... for her," her voice was broken and full of remorse, as she whispered. Though, there were clear hints of resentment seeping through there as well, "What did she whisper in those ears of his? What promises did she make? I-"

A silent pause followed.

"...It's my fault," in a way, Rika wasn't making any sense. Her tone switched from hurt and angry to remorseful in an instant. She couldn't even understand herself, "I shouldn't have punished her. That drove him away from me, didn't it...? He cared so much for her, of course he would see me as a heartless monster after I... after I did that to her."

Chaewon pulled back from their embrace, laying on her side as she gazed at Rika, her hand still running through her hair. Rika's voice was filled with sorrow and remorse, and it was painful to listen to her talk about herself like that. In an effort to comfort her, she pulled her closer and massaged her back in a soothing way.

"-But you've helped people, Rika. You saved so many lives," she spoke softly, her voice now growing a tad firmer. She wanted Rika to see all the good she had done, not just focus on the bad, "Ray and Saeran were just fine with you before she came along. I always knew she wasn't truly one of us. That little thing. Trembling in her shoes whenever her precious boss wasn't there to protect her."

Chaewon shook her head briefly, a slow steady breath leaving her lips. Her gaze hardened as it settled back on Rika.

That's right.

None of this was her fault.

Rika wouldn't have acted out in the first place, if it wasn't for Natasha.

It was all that girl's fault. Not Rika's.

"Ray is a gullible fool who still believes in his fairytales. It wouldn't be hard to fill his head with promises of a happy future," she muttered, her fingers still running through Rika's curls, twirling them around absentmindedly, "-And Saeran is far too impulsive for his own good. I should've put him in his place when he screamed at you last week. We weren't prudent enough, you and I. But it isn't our fault."

Rika was quiet as she stared back at her, her expression unreadable. Chaewon reached out to wipe her thumb under her eye, wiping the salty moisture off her delicate skin.

"...We will fix this. I will fix this. For you."

"You will...?" Rika murmured, sounding both hopeful and somehow doubtful.

Chaewon nodded: "I will. I promised you that I would stay by your side until you reach your dream. And I will abide by my promises to you. In whatever form it will take."