#and catering to retired heroes but I just can’t seem to word anything right

[crybaby-bkg]

so frustrated bc I always get the worse writers block whenever I’m pmsing bc I keep convincing myself that my writing is shit and no one’s gonna like it so I don’t write it and then regret it bc when I DO wanna write it I forget the premise of it and akdhdkdjd

so so so so so so frustrating and annoying and I yam So Tired of it all

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 2]

Lost and confused? See this post to catch you up!

Chapter 4: I Smell Like Beef

It’s the final day of my week with grandpa Hakamada. I’ve learned so much about my quirk...kinda wish I was staying longer.

“Lili, what do you want for dinner?” called out grandpa from the living room.

“Do we have things to make some stir fry?” I responded from my room as I zipped up one of my suit cases.

“We do, come give me a hand”

How I was going to miss making meals with him and listen to his stories. To think I almost didn’t take up this offer!

“So whats the plan for tomorrow?” I asked as we ate.

“Tomorrow you’re going to get picked up by Jinko to spend the rest of your internship under the agency” he sighed “I really wish I could have you for both weeks but retirement and such won’t let me. You need to learn from a functioning establishment.”

“And I won’t let you down” I smiled “I’ll do my best!”

“I know you will” he smiled back “now, I’ve arranged your housing situation over there. I don’t want you mixing in with those boys.”

“It’s an all male agency?”

“Yes and that’s my fault in part” he chuckled nervously “not because I don’t value women heroes or side-kicks, but I was quite the ladies man back in my hero days.”

“You’re still a ladies man!” I laughed “I saw how the women at the studio looked at you and swooned, you still got the charm.”

“Aside from that” he went back to the topic “you’ll have your own room to sleep and dress in.”

After dinner and we said our goodnights, I was nervous for tomorrow plus I was feeling a little homesick. Even though my mom has been video-calling and texting me daily, I still miss the full house feel of home. I also miss Hoshi, he’s been doing great though! He sends me pictures and texts daily, they really make me happy.

-the next day-

“Well, looks like my ride is here” I turned to grandpa as the town car pulled up “thanks again! Please come visit the family when you can!”

“You’ll do great Lili” He ruffled my hair “I’ll be seeing you more often.”

As I turn away to get in the car, I stop and turn back and hug him “Bye Bye Grandpa.”

“How sweet” Jinko commented “old man and his granddaughter!”

“Not another word! Can’t you see I’m having a moment?!” he snapped before hugging me back “don’t give everyone too hard of a time.”

I finally departed and felt sad that I wasn’t going to have that specially catered one-on-one time. From what I was told, there was going to be two other students but from different schools and both male. I arrive at the agency and get led to my room for the week.

“Here’s your living quarters for the week” Jinko unlocked the room “your mom usually occupies this room when she does extensive work for us. Actually, this room was especially built for her when she did her internship when she was your age.”

I peer into the room and it was a cozy space that was fully furnished “Who built this room? It has that homely feeling to it.”

“The man himself, he really wanted your mom to feel at home here because he knew about her past” he sighed and chuckled “to think that you’re staying in the same room years later!” he turned to leave “I’ll leave you to unpack and we’ll get started on some things.”

He leaves me and I put all my clothes in the wardrobe. I hear the other men’s whispers from outside my door and it makes me wonder if my mom experienced the same thing. I change into my pink tracksuit and walk out to meet with Jinko, I was met with a crowd of men.

“You’re 19′s daughter?! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!” exclaimed a man in a denim jacket “so fem, so pretty! And probably obedient.”

That last part bothered me, I’m going to give this place hell “My mother isn’t obedient, you’re confusing me with my old man.”

“Hey don’t harass her!” said a man in a black jumpsuit “I got orders from her mother that if any of you lay an unwanted hand on her, I have permission to cut your hand off” his arms glowed with green plasma energy “do I make myself clear?” all the men nod and dispersed, the man turned to me “so sorry you had to see that, I’m agent 30, head of Intel here” he bowed to me “your mother saved my life back in my starting days here and I devoted my career to be at her assistance. You’ll be seeing me often and probably fetching for you, like right now” he stood up and gestured toward the hall “Jinko asked me to bring you to the office, if you’d come with me.”

I followed him and my mind went elsewhere. Like how my mom was so interconnected with some of the people here and the fact that I’m getting especial treatment because of her. At least I’m not being compared to my dad, I’d lose my shit if somebody did.

“Ah Miss Iida, please have a seat” Jinko snapped me out of my thought “so as you know, this is the start of week 2 and we had some things already done, it might seem like you’re behind. If anything, you’re a little ahead of everybody.”

“How so?”

“You’re one of the strongest we’ve seen” he gestured toward a picture on the wall “you’re in the power ranks of your mother when she was your age. Double quirked, determined and very unique from the others in terms of hero type.”

“Does that change my stance here?” I squinted at the picture, it was my mom during her time here.

“Yes it does, it means you can go into the heavier things like group exercises, spars and patrolling” Jinko stood up “so for today, show us what you’re made of in the spar circle.”

“Yes sir!” I stood up excitedly and got the order to dress out for sparring. I get weirdly excited for spars because my mom tells us about all the daily fighting she got into with her siblings. But she taught us to communicate better to settle sibling disputes and raised us with lots of love and forgiveness. While Rosa and Oro do deserve an ass whooping for their foolin’, I wouldn’t put my hands on them. I get to the practice/spar area and join in on the excitement.

“You! Pink pants!” called out a short man “think you have what it takes to fight with us! Your mother might level us in an instant but you have much to learn.”

“Um okay, I’ll partake in a tussle” the men laugh at me “who am I up against?”

“Me” replied the same short man as he gestured to the sparring circle “scared?”

“My grandma is scarier than you” the men jeer at my comment, the short man got angrier. We start our spar and I didn’t give him the chance to announce his quirk, in 3 minutes I had him wound up and out of bounds. I walk up to him “hows the weather down there?”

The man wasn’t amused “Hrng, you got lucky! If not for your quick feet, you’d be the one down here!”

I unravel him free and I get a crowd around me asking me about my double quirks. It made me feel so cool to be the one to be asked quirk questions. I told my family and Hoshi about it when I was going to bed for the night. Hoshi especially missed me and I felt the same way. 

-Two days later-

“What’s on the agenda today?” I asked Jinko excitedly.

“Today we’re going on patrol” he responded “put on your hero costume and meet me at the side entrance.”

“Yes Sir!” I bowed before dashing off to put on my costume. I designed my costume after the Swan Lake style with the decorative corset and the tutu resting high on my waist. With the matching mask and ribbons plus these custom ballet style support foot wear, they’re modeled after my uncle’s footwear for that sleek design. One look at me and you couldn’t tell if I was hero or that I have a quirk at all! I met up with Jinko to start the patrol.

“I’m sure he taught you how you should act while on patrol” Jinko started as we walked down the street “but now we put them in motion! It’s a whole different experience once you have to act upon said rules.”

“Right! I have to be on high alert, listen in, identify suspicious activity and know how to approach the situation.”

“What do you see so far?” Jinko tested me.

“I see...the normal crowd of people at the town square” I responded “there’s already some heroes on patrol on that side and I should be ready to lend my assistance when called upon.”

“Good! Always be ready to lend a hand” Jinko praised “you never know when you’ll be essential to a rescue or defense.”

We did a whole patrol of the block with nothing happening but I heard a soft whimper and my big sister senses kicked in. I looked around and saw a little girl all the way on top of a streetlight, holding on like she was about to slip. I didn’t bother to tell Jinko, I just acted upon instinct. 

“Don’t worry! I got you!” I said as I propelled up with my arms out. The child seemed to trust me right away and held her arms out for me. “And on the ground we go” I put the child on the sidewalk once I floated down “are you alright?” I asked the child but she wasn’t responding and was on the verge of tears, time to go off script “can you wave your hands for me?” I did the motion and she mimicked “wiggle your fingers?” she copied “stomp your feet?” she complied with a giggle “now jump as high as you can!” she happily jumped.

Jinko walked up to us “Good listening to your surroundings!” he turned toward the little girl “what where you doing up there?”

The little girl got shy and grabbed my leg, I then noticed the rip on her corduroy dress “Oh lets fix this rip first” the girl watches me fix the rip with my quirk and was in awe.

“Wowie! Thank you Miss hero!” she smiled again and hugged Lili “can you help me find my mommy?”

“Of course little one!” I hoisted her on my shoulders “you look out for her as we walk around so we can find her faster.” Another pace around the block and we found the mother and reunited them.

“I hope she wasn’t too much trouble!” cried out the mother “I turned around for a second and I lost her!”

“She wasn’t trouble at all” I turned to the little girl “make sure to ask for help if you ever lose mommy okay? No more climbing light poles!”

“I will! Thank you!” she said as they walked away with their parent “bye bye Miss hero!”

“You did so well, I’m proud of you” Jinko praised “now I’ll show you how to do paperwork!” we go inside and as I’m filling out the first pages, Jinko asks “how did you know what to do when the child was responding like that?”

“I just did what I would do when my siblings are too scared to respond” I looked up at him “don’t yell and be calm before asking if they’re hurt and tell them that it was dangerous. It happens a whole lot since my younger siblings are rowdy and love to climb things.”

“I love seeing that humanitarian aspect in the field” he pat me on the back “you’ll make an excellent hero.”

That was more than enough validation for me to keep going. The days go by quickly and I finally went home. I told them about the things I did and saw at dinner, dad was tearing up on how much I’ve changed my attitude on hero work. As much as I missed sleeping in my own bed, I also missed Hoshi and my other classmates. Hoshi let me know that they got home and they’ll be seeing me tomorrow at school. I went to sleep with dreams of being the Dancing Hero, changing what the Iida name stands for.

-The next day-

“Okay class, settle down” Mineta sensei tried to silence us “today we’ll be creating your hero names, helping us is Midnight.”

“Hi aunty Midnight!” I waved as she walked in.

“How exciting! The new generation of heroes are making their personas!” she squealed “as you know, your hero name is permanent and will be hard to rebrand the older you get. Choose wisely!”

“What are you thinking of naming yourself Lili?” whispered Hoshi to me “I’m a bit stumped.”

“I’m going to make mine dance related” I responded “I’ve been thinking on a name for a while.”

“Would anyone like to share first?” Midnight scanned the room “Lili?”

“Um sure” I got a little timid as I walked up to the front to present “I chose the name Baile, the spanish word for dance” I flipped the small board around to show the class “I want to be known as the dancing hero rather than the engine hero like my dad’s side of the family, so I guess I’m breaking the streak with this.”  

“Very fitting! I love it” Midnight gave her approval “anybody else?”

I sat back down very content with myself. How exciting that I’m well on my way to be a hero?! Just a few weeks ago I wasn’t excited to be following in my dad’s footsteps and now I’m forging my own way. It was liberating in a way.

-One month later-

Preparations to take the licensing exam are underway. I’ve been working on a few techniques to incorporate other dance moves with my two quirks. Hoshi and I even came up with some duo moves that blend ballroom dancing and our quirks. Everyone calls it an excuse to hold hands but how else are we going to launch ourselves into the air for the escape?! Today in particular, Half Hot Half Cold Hero is doing a guest class for our licensing.

“Can anyone tell me what’s the steps to a rescue?” asked the hero in his oddly soothing monotone voice.

Now, my family is very close with the Todoroki family, so this mans is always at the house with his kids... I have a lot of opinions about this mans and his kids so I was mega distracted with all those thoughts, that I didn’t notice everyone parting away to single me out. Oops, I gotta say something because I’m pretty sure he asked something “Uh you um,” I panned over to Hoshi and they couldn’t help me, they just looked at me with wide eyes and pursed lips “you look at the villain in the eye and tell them to eat your ass.”

The class exploded in laughter, even sensei was on the floor howling. Mr Hot and Cold didn’t change expressions, like what I said went over his head. He turned to sensei “I don’t get it? I asked a first aid question.”

“Oh man Todoroki my abs hurt” sensei was calming down, wiping his tears “she has her mother’s quips, but that’s a visit to the principals office Miss Iida.”

“Wack! My mom never got sent to the office when she said something like that!” I pouted and crossed my arms.

“Well times have changed” he pointed to the building “office, now!”

I huffed and stomped my way to the office, lucky me, Midnight took my side and I didn’t get in trouble. Sensei later complained but Midnight shut it down real quick, mom always said that Mineta never gets his way. I was more like-able among my classmates after that and it was so cool to bring everyone together like that. My dad thought it wasn’t cool and lectured me on my speaking etiquette, my mom was laughing though. She told me about all the times she was protected by the intel school rules and all the crazy things she got away with. She also mentioned how her rowdiness drove my dad insane and worried him sick. Dad admitted how he wanted to run wild with her as high schoolers so they’d spend more time together and I thought that was super sweet. Then it made me think, their love made them change as people. Dad made mom change from law breaking to law observing, and Mom made dad loosen up and enjoy life’s party. If love changes you into a better person, I want to see how I’ll become. Why am I thinking about love? AM I in love or do I WANT to be in love? It’s all confusing and I don’t know if I’m ready! GAH! How did mom handle a big dumb crush on my dad for so long if I’m losing my mind over how I feel for Hoshi?! Feelings are dumb, I’m going to bed!

-Day of Licensing Exam-

Long story short, nobody was expecting me with my second quirk in clutch. All but 3 in our class passed the exam, sucks for them. Hoshi and I did one power move that made the proctor’s jaw drop because it took out all the flying quirk users right out of the air with one swift motion. We got a few announcements on the bus before heading home.

“Alright, great job class NOW as you may know” he got the interest of everyone with that last part “there was no training camp before this licensing BUT we got word that there will be training camp in two weeks and dorm living.”

Everyone on the bus was excited except Hoshi and I. It’s cool and all to go do all these things but I hate being away from the comforts of home and Hoshi is worried about everyone finding out his secret and not accepting him.

“Lili I don’t know if I can do the whole dorm thing” Hoshi said softly so nobody would hear him “I want to but everybody will think I’m a pervert.”

“Hey if they say anything” I put my hand on his back “I got you and my mom, you know how my mom gets.”

“True, that makes me feel a little better” his smile came back “alright but what about you? Miss Pink room with a wall sized mirror” he teased “pretty sure you can’t take that with you to a dorm smaller than your side of the shared room.”

“Hey! I use that mirror for checking my dance form” I playfully hit him “I’ll make do with what I’m allowed! It’s not the end of the world if the room isn’t pink.”

“Just this morning you were panicking that the ribbons you wore didn’t match your hero costume!”

“I have to serve the proctor’s my fem pink realness!” I whined “can’t kick ass if I don’t look and feel cute!”

“Silly” he laughed as he put his hand on my head, ruffling my hair “you’re always cute, even when you’re kicking ass in the wrong colored ribbons.”

That shit made my heart flutter and turned my body into goo. I didn’t even care if he messed up my hair a bit, I wanted him to keep telling me nice things as he put his caring hand on me. I wonder what’s going on in his head when I interact with him? He seems to always look happy or neutral when I’m around but do I make him feel like this too? The warmth of his nice words lingered with me well into the night that I almost forgot to tell my parents that I got licensed. Maybe I should be saying more nice things to him too.

-Saturday before training camp-

“Where’s mom?” I asked my dad.

“She got called in for some intel related things” he said as he turned off the stove “so Nikita will be joining us for dinner.”

Usually when mom gets called up for agent work, uncle Jin and aunty Mimi go with her too. And since Mimi is a single mother, she leaves Nikita under our care until they come back. It’s been like that since I could remember but Iwa has this anxiety whenever mom does on-call agent work. He doesn’t eat or sleep until she comes back, just sits and faces the front facing window in his room. I just know he’s up there right now in his fleece blanket, sitting and waiting. Nobody has broken him out of this habit and he’s too stubborn to listen to anybody’s advice. So we just let him be and hope that one day he’ll just stop on his own. 

“I’m hungies!” Oro’s announcement broke my thought.

“Go wash up first” my dad scolded “and help Nikita too.”

I waited until the brats were out of earshot “Dad, do you have any idea why Iwa-”

“Why Iwa just shuts off until your mom comes home?” he finishes my sentence and sighs “I do know actually and it scares me that he’s pushing us away.”

“Why?” I said almost demandingly “why does it scare you?”

He takes the plates out of the cupboard “Do you remember when we got broken into at the old house?” I nodded in response and watched him put the plates on the table “remember how Iwa didn’t want to hide in the nursery room and ran off to the stairs where your mom was facing off with the villain? He manifested his quirk upon seeing your mother in a compromised position” he put the last plate on the mat “I won’t lie to you Lili, your mother was going to die if Iwa didn’t interfere with his quirk and he knows it too. The trauma of it all and being so young has made him feel personally responsible to make sure your mother comes home safe.” He brings out the served bowls of rice “his quirk doesn’t help either, telekinesis makes you overthink and hard to cope with anxiety. Now he’s gotten better at handling his stress and body dysmorphia but this is the one thing he can’t shake off” he turns to me “your mother did the same thing when we were in high school and she pushed me away just like Iwa. She would disappear for days at a time and a few times she came back injured.”

“Where would she go?” I asked curiously.

“Wherever she pleased! The downtown area, the mountains, Mimi’s dorm or some upperclassmen’s party!” he turned to look at the stairs that lead to the rooms “I’m scared that Iwa is going to hurt himself like your mother did and I’m not going to let history repeat itself! I let Iwa know that his family is here for him at arms reach and that he isn’t alone and he’s surrounded by love.”

I was distracted for most of dinner, I really wanted to talk to Iwa about his side. After dinner, when the brats retreated to the guest room, I walked up to Iwa’s room.

“Iwee?” I knocked on the door “can I come in?” I halfway expected a ‘go away’ in response but instead he opened the door with his telekinesis “hey, I brought you some Takis.”

“What color?” he asked, not breaking from his spot at the window.

“Blue” I shook the bag to get his interest.

“Blue? As in, Azul Fuego Takis?!” he raised his voice as he pulled me in and shut the door “okay, offer accepted, what’s the haps?”

“I just wanted to check in on my fave.”

“Don’t lie to me bitch, I heard what dad told you” he levitated the bag of hot chips to him “and yes, it’s one of those trauma things but I push dad away because he makes things worse!”

“Worse?! The mans was just telling me that he doesn’t want you to end up like mom when they were teens!”

He pops the bag open “Yea and mom says that he made things worse for her!” the crunch of the chips startled me a bit “so like, mom told me some HOT tea about dad in the UA days. Dad is a noisy ass bitch, he gets all up in her business when she wants to be alone. And dad doesn’t know how to ask the right questions so it makes her feel like human garbage and she disappears to literally get away from dad’s noisiness.”

“That’s some tea!” I was shocked to hear this side of the story “so what the fuck?!”

“So mom tells me that it’s just dad trying to be a good dad but if he gets on my nerves, it’s okay that I feel like separating myself” he gets another chip from the bag “like, my anxiety isn’t that bad anymore. I’m actually starting to fall asleep after a while and I mostly just coop myself up here until midnight so I can be a kitchen gremlin and eat cold leftovers.”

“So dad is just over reacting? And you’re just chilling because things aren’t so bad anymore?”

He nods as he crunched on the chips “Yup, mom taught me how to cope better and I go to a therapist when things are getting overwhelming” he licks the chip dust off his fingers “plus I feel like I’m getting too old for this shit, might rejoin dinners when mom is away again or go to Beizu’s place for a boy’s night.”

“Here I was worried that you needed some love and support.”

“If it makes you feel better, you did a better job than dad when he’d beg me to eat something” he laughed “oh man the laughter I had to hold in when he’d start ranting on and on about healthy eating habits.”

“Well, if you’re just going to gremlin your way later to eat” I start heading to the door “then I’m going to bed, see you tomorrow!”

“Goodnight Lili”

That takes care of one of the things that worries me. He’s only 14 and we’ve always been together, since he was born. The night after the break in was the first night we had to sleep in different rooms and we didn’t take it so well. I saw him change and try to control his new abilities with mom’s help. He’d depend on me for so many things and he still does, so I don’t know how my move out is going to affect him. I don’t want my absence from home to strain the dynamic in my family. Too much to worry about, I should sleep it off.

-Chapter 4 End-

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