#and bf's desk is right next to mine we can see whatever the other is doing

[chaotictomtom]

the only thing making me go 👀 on mac products is procreate 😵‍💫 but paying like 300€ to. simply draw on a tablet that is as big or even smaller than my xp pen tablet just because there's a screen.....nuh huh.

[sunkissedpages]

dirty reflection || th x reader

Summary: fulfilling a long held fantasy with your boyfriend (cockwarming him in front of a mirror)

Warnings: swearing, smut (18+)

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: this was a piece for @honeymoonlover's birthday that i inserted tom into :)

Masterlist

"Tell me!"

“No!”

“Please!”

“No, I’m too embarrassed!”

You turned away from your boyfriend on the couch with your arms folded across your chest in protest. If there was anyone who could get you to spill something it was Tom, but you were determined not to break.

“Please, baby?” he asked again, and walked around to the other side of the sofa so that you could see his big brown eyes.

You squeezed your own eyes shut, as to not let him guilt trip you and shook your head stubbornly. Tom let out a sigh of frustration and you thought that maybe he had given up until you heard him chuckle above you.

“Fine, then I guess we won’t have sex at all.”

“What?”

You opened your eyes again and stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. He smirked.

“You heard me.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re bluffing.”

“No,” he insisted, doubling down. “If you won’t tell me what you want, we won’t have sex until you do.”

“You know what I want! You already know how to make me feel good.”

“I thought I did,” he huffed, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.

“You do!”

Tom raised his arms above his head, bringing the hem of his t-shirt up to reveal a small strip of his stomach and the elastic of his Calvin Klein’s. You sucked in a breath and pursed your lips, ignoring the sight before you.

“But not this!”

The this he was referring to was just a silly fantasy of yours, one that you had purposely kept secret because you were embarrassed to admit to wanting something so... filthy. You had never planned to fulfill it- you were more than content to simply imagine the scene playing out when Tom wasn’t home, and use your own hands instead of his to take the edge off. But as of 20 minutes ago that wasn’t an option anymore because your boyfriend had come across your messages with your best friend about that very fantasy.

He hadn’t meant to pry. He had just gotten home from shooting and grabbed your Mac off of the coffee table to check Twitter. You weren’t around, but he always used your computer to scroll through social media anyway so he figured he didn’t need to ask. Your last iMessage conversation with Sloane was still up, and he went to minimize the window when he read his name at the top of one of your blue bubbles. He knew he shouldn’t have been reading your private messages, but he couldn’t stop himself.

s: you should just tell him

y/n: idk how to bring it up

s: it’s not that hard

y/n: would it be weird to ask you to tell him for me?

s: bitch yes

s: i don’t want to talk to your bf about your sex life

y/n: tom knows you though! You could just sneak it into conversation casually yk?

s: i’m not telling him you want to be-

That was as far as he got before you walked back into the room and he slammed the laptop shut in panic, looking like you’d just caught him watching porn- which to be fair, you had done before.

Before you could say anything, or even process what had just happened, Tom flipped it around on you.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Your brain still hadn’t processed the situation so you furrowed your brow in confusion. “I don’t know what you mean-”

“Why are you talking to Sloane about our sex life?” he demanded. It finally clicked. “And what about it is so terrible about it that you don’t want to tell me yourself?”

“There’s nothing terrible about it!” you assured him.

“Then what?” His face was starting to turn red like it did whenever he got worked up. “Have you been faking-”

“No!”

You could feel your face starting to heat up as well at the implication.

“We were just talking about a dumb fantasy of mine, that’s all.”

And that’s what led you to where you were now, staring each other down over the edge of the couch, daring the other to be the first to break. The room was still filled with tension, but there had been a shift in context.

Tom's eyes were dark and nearly unreadable in the dim light of your living room.

“You’re really not going to fuck me until I tell you?” you asked. He nodded again in earnest, and raised his eyebrows expectantly. “But what do I get out of telling you?”

He gave you a look like it should have been obvious. “We’re going to do it.”

You hesitated. “What if you’re not into it?”

He shrugged and brushed off the possibility. “I’m into whatever you’re into.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I promise,” Tom said and pressed a kiss to your lips as if to seal it. “I’m not going to judge whatever it is you want me to do to you. No matter how gross it is.” You scoffed and swatted at him, but he dodged your hand easily.

“I can’t stand you,” you muttered.

“Oh, is that why you’re always kneeling for me?”

“Do you want me to tell you or not?”

The smirk fell from his face as he hastily cleared his throat and beckoned for you to continue.

“You know that mirror we have in our bedroom?” you asked.

Tom nodded, a grin playing at the corner of his mouth as if he had an idea about where this was going.

“I’ve always wanted to cockwarm you while we sit in front of it.”

Your boyfriend was smiling from ear to ear now. He had you right where he wanted you.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“I mean, pretty much, yeah.”

“Pretty much?” The next part you mumbled under your breath. “What was that?” Tom asked, leaning over the couch so that he could hear you.

“Yes,” you bit out and clenched your jaw in a pathetic sort of pout.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he teased, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “Okay, get up.”

“What, why?”

“I’ve got some lines to read over. You can keep my cock warm while I do that.”

“Right now?”

“I thought that’s what you wanted?”

“It-it is.”

“Then get up.”

You did as you were told and stood up from your spot on the sofa, watching as Tom grabbed the back of one of the kitchen chairs and began dragging it behind him.

“Why-”

“I don’t want to ruin our armchair,” he said as an explanation and jerked his head in the direction of your bedroom, motioning for you to follow him.

The mirror in your bedroom was one of your favorite things in the house. It sat on the floor leaned up against the wall with a large ornate frame encompassing it. It was almost taller than you, and weighed about sixty pounds. Its gold paint was chipping in the corners and it was a bit scuffed up, but it was still the best find you’d ever made at the antique fair and you stood by that. You still remembered carrying it home the day you bought it. Tom had filmed the process instead of helping, watching you struggle with the newspaper-wrapped package through the screen on his phone with a smug grin on his face the entire time.

Tom set the chair on the floor in front of the mirror and began to strip, pulling off his hoodie first before shimmying out of his joggers. You followed in suit by unzipping your skirt and letting it fall to the ground. You stepped out of it and went for your shirt next, yanking it over your head. Your hands went for the clasp of your bra after that before thinking twice.

“Do you want my bra off or-”

He seemed to think about it for a moment before answering. “Leave it on.”

You nodded and dropped your hands back by your side, watching him grab his notebook from the desk and settle on the chair. He was completely naked now, and you were left in just your underwear, a scene you both were intimately familiar with.

He spat into his palm and took his cock in his hand, pumping a few times before you stopped him.

“Let me,” you offered, kneeling on the floor in front of him.

He groaned and handed over his control easily. You grinned to yourself before taking him in your mouth. You knew he’d never pass up an opportunity to have you suck him off.

You worked slowly, taking your time, enjoying the feeling of him getting hard on your tongue. Tom gripped your hair with one hand and clutched his notebook with the other. He fought to keep his eyes open, to keep his head upright. In the mirror he could see the back of your head bobbing up and down on his lap, the expanse of your back, every scar, freckle, and mole he’d seen a thousand times before but now from a different angle.

You hollowed out your cheeks and took him to the back of your throat, trying not to laugh when you heard him curse.

“Stop,” he breathed out, pulling you off of him by your hair. “You’re a menace.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

He glared at you for a moment before flicking his gaze downwards.

“I’d ask if you want me to return the favor, but I don’t think I need to.” He reached out to prove his point and brushed a couple fingers over your panties, ignoring the way you trembled as he did. He held his hand up to you to show you the wetness gathered on his pointer and index before bringing them to his lips and sucking it off. “You’re plenty wet already.”

You suppressed a moan and pursed your lips, nodding in agreement.

Tom didn’t have to say anything for you to know what he wanted next. You slipped out of your panties and tossed them to the side. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you straddled him and lined yourself up. You both sighed as you sank down onto his cock. He kissed you deeply, winding a hand through hair and moaning your name. You let your head rest against his shoulder and tried not to rock your hips forward. Your boyfriend was having similar issues, hips stuttering underneath you, head falling back in pleasure.

“T-tommy,” you gasped.

“Don’t,” he warned through gritted teeth. You clenched around him involuntarily and whined. “What did I just say?”

“Sorry, can’t help it.”

He took a deep breath and began flipping through the pages of his notebook. You craned your neck to look back at your reflection in the mirror, smiling weakly at the sight. Tom had an arm slung loosely around your waist still. His cheeks were rosy and warm to the touch. Your ass was on full display at this angle, but you didn’t mind. You knew it was your boyfriend’s favorite view anyway, and you weren’t ashamed to admit that you could see why.

The way you were seated on his lap made it look like you could have just been cuddling. The reflection didn’t show Tom's cock buried deep inside your pussy and your breathing had slowed to somewhat of a normal pace.

Tom began to recite his lines to himself and you turned your attention back to him, admiring how he looked while he was concentrating. His eyelashes were so fucking long, it was something you had always been jealous of. The light filtering into the room made them look blond...

You were doing so good. You were relaxing comfortably, lost in your own thoughts, when Tom moved for the first time. He was just scratching his ankle, but the sudden movement made you yelp.

“Don’t do that!” you cried.

“What, this?” he asked and bent down to scratch his ankle again.

“Yes, that,” you growled.

“Why not?”

“You know why.”

“What about this?”

He leaned back and stretched his arms above his head.

“That’s worse!” you hissed.

“Sorry.”

“No you’re not.” He just shrugged and tossed his notebook on the bed. “Don’t you have work to do?”

“Could use a break,” he replied simply, “and it’s hard to focus with distractions.”

The last part was pointed at you and you narrowed your eyes.

“I have been perfectly still.”

“Yeah, but your... impatience is, well, physical.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re soaking, love.”

You looked down at Tom's lap and suddenly realized what he meant. Your arousal was quite literally dripping onto his thighs and the chair beneath you. That was why he didn’t want to use the armchair. You felt your face heat up in embarrassment and buried your head in your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Fuck, I’m sorry!”

He chuckled and rubbed a hand up and down your back comfortingly. “Don’t be! I know you can’t help it, and it’s honestly really fucking hot.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“No,” he promised and shook his head adamantly. “I like that I have this effect on you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late.”

“I know.”

“So this fantasy of yours,” he said, clearing his throat. “How does it end?"

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“You.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What about me?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I get to pick how it ends?”

“Mhm. I usually leave it up to the imagination so it’s open-ended.”

“You mean when you masturbate to it you cum before it ends so you lose interest?” Tom clarified.

“Maybe.”

“I know you,” he said cockily.

“And like I said, you know what I like.”

“I like to think I do.”

“So tell me what to do.”

“You just like being bossed around.”

“And what about it?”

“Brat,” he spat.

“Bitch.”

Tom smiled and jerked his hips the slightest bit, making you whimper. “Stand up.”

You tried not to show your disappointment, but did as you were told and stood up, wincing at the empty feeling that followed.

“Just for a minute, baby,” he assured you. “Turn around.”

You turned so that you were facing the mirror and let yourself be pulled back onto your boyfriend’s lap. He slid his cock back inside of you almost immediately and praised you for taking it so well.

“I thought you should see yourself,” he whispered against your shoulder.

You moaned, only able to nod in agreement. You were positioned at a bit of an angle now since you were facing forward, but any discomfort you felt evaporated when Tom kissed the back of your neck. He unclasped your bra and let it fall to the floor.

“Look at you,” he murmured as he urged you to start riding him, “fucking yourself on my cock like a slut.”

“Fuck, Tom.”

You forced yourself to look at your reflection, straining your neck so that you could see clearly. You made eye contact with yourself only to see a stranger stared back at you. The person in the mirror looked like a fucking pornstar, tits out, legs spread, but also fucked out of their mind.

“Feels so good,” you panted.

“I know, baby, I know.”

Tom brought a hand down to your clit and started to rub in circular motions, a clue that he was getting close. Your legs were shaking at this point and you could feel your own orgasm starting to creep up on you as he slammed into you from behind.

“You look so fucking hot like this,” Tom grunted.

You met his eyes in the reflection and gave a weak smile. “I know.”

“Fuck, y/n!” He came suddenly with a moan of your name. You watched in the mirror as his eyes screwed up and his whole body tensed underneath you.

“Can I- can I cum?” you begged, not even sure if you’d be able to hold out if he said no.

A mere nod of his head was all it took for you to tip over the edge. Tom weakly fucked you through it, still riding the end of his own high.

“So good for me,” he managed in broken breaths.

You arched your back against his chest as you came, mumbling profanities the entire time. You tried to keep your eyes open to watch yourself fall apart, but you only caught glimpses.

You collapsed back against Tom as the aftershocks of your orgasm subsided, gasping for breath like you had just finished running a marathon.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Tom wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing the top of your head gently. You were both covered in sweat and cum, but neither of you could find the energy to care.

“Of course.”

You let yourself relax against his body for another moment, observing your reflections in the mirror. Your hair was a tangled mess, but so was Tom's. Hickeys were already beginning to bloom on your neck and shoulders, reminders to follow you in the days ahead.

Your eyes wandered up to meet your boyfriend’s, who was already gazing at you tenderly. You shared a brief look and smirked at each other.

“Round two?”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

[sluttywonwoo]

dirty reflection || hvc x reader

Summary: fulfilling a long held fantasy with your boyfriend (cockwarming him in front of a mirror)

Warnings: swearing, smut (18+)

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: this is for @junsol happy birthday tiff!!

Masterlist

“Tell me!”

“No!”

“Please!”

“No, I’m too embarrassed!”

You turned away from your boyfriend on the couch with your arms folded across your chest in protest. If there was anyone who could get you to spill something it was Vernon, but you were determined not to break.

“Please, baby?” he asked again, and walked around to the other side of the sofa so that you could see his big brown eyes.

You squeezed your own eyes shut, as to not let him guilt trip you and shook your head stubbornly. Vernon let out a sigh of frustration and you thought that maybe he had given up until you heard him chuckle above you.

“Fine, then I guess we won’t have sex at all.”

“What?”

You opened your eyes again and stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. He smirked.

“You heard me.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re bluffing.”

“No,” he insisted, doubling down. “If you won’t tell me what you want, we won’t have sex until you do.”

“You know what I want! You already know how to make me feel good.”

“I thought I did,” he huffed, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.

“You do!”

Vernon raised his arms above his head, bringing the hem of his t-shirt up to reveal a small strip of his stomach and the elastic of his Calvin Klein’s. You sucked in a breath and pursed your lips, ignoring the sight before you.

“But not this!”

The this he was referring to was just a silly fantasy of yours, one that you had purposely kept secret because you were embarrassed to admit to wanting something so... filthy. You had never planned to fulfill it- you were more than content to simply imagine the scene playing out when Vernon wasn’t home, and use your own hands instead of his to take the edge off. But as of 20 minutes ago that wasn’t an option anymore because your boyfriend had come across your messages with your best friend about that very fantasy.

He hadn’t meant to pry. He had just gotten home from rehearsal and grabbed your Mac off of the coffee table to check Twitter. You weren’t around, but he always used your computer to scroll through social media anyway so he figured he didn’t need to ask. Your last iMessage conversation with Sloane was still up, and he went to minimize the window when he read his name at the top of one of your blue bubbles. He knew he shouldn’t have been reading your private messages, but he couldn’t stop himself.

s: you should just tell him

y/n: idk how to bring it up

s: it’s not that hard

y/n: would it be weird to ask you to tell him for me?

s: bitch yes

s: I don’t want to talk to your bf about your sex life

y/n: vernon knows you though! You could just sneak it into conversation casually yk?

s: i’m not telling him you want to be-

That was as far as he got before you walked back into the room and he slammed the laptop shut in panic, looking like you’d just caught him watching porn- which to be fair, you had done a number of times before.

Before you could say anything, or even process what had just happened, Vernon flipped it around on you.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Your brain still hadn’t processed the situation so you furrowed your brow in confusion. “I don’t know what you mean-”

“Why are you talking to Sloane about our sex life?” he demanded. It finally clicked. “And what about it is so terrible about it that you don’t want to tell me yourself?”

“There’s nothing terrible about it!” you assured him.

“Then what?” His face was starting to turn red like it did whenever he got worked up. “Have you been faking-”

“No!" You could feel your face starting to heat up as well at the implication. “We were just talking about a dumb fantasy of mine, that’s all.”

And that’s what led you to where you were now, staring each other down over the edge of the couch, daring the other to be the first to break. The room was still filled with tension, but there had been a shift in context.

Vernon’s eyes were dark and nearly unreadable in the dim light of your living room.

“You’re really not going to fuck me until I tell you?” you asked. He nodded again in earnest, and raised his eyebrows expectantly. “But what do I get out of telling you?”

He gave you a look like it should have been obvious. “We’re going to do it.”

You hesitated. “What if you’re not into it?”

He shrugged and brushed off the possibility. “I’m into whatever you’re into.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I promise,” Vernon said and pressed a kiss to your lips as if to seal it. “I’m not going to judge whatever it is you want me to do to you. No matter how gross it is.”

You scoffed and swatted at him, but he dodged your hand easily.

“I can’t stand you,” you muttered.

“Oh, is that why you’re always kneeling for me?”

“Do you want me to tell you or not?”

The smirk fell from his face as he hastily cleared his throat and beckoned for you to continue.

“You know that mirror we have in our bedroom?” you asked.

Vernon nodded, a grin playing at the corner of his mouth as if he had an idea about where this was going.

“I’ve always wanted to cockwarm you while we sit in front of it.”

Your boyfriend was smiling from ear to ear now. He had you right where he wanted you.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“I mean, pretty much, yeah.”

“Pretty much?” The next part you mumbled under your breath. “What was that?” Vernon asked, leaning over the couch so that he could hear you.

“Yes,” you bit out and clenched your jaw in a pathetic sort of pout.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he teased, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “Okay, get up.”

“What, why?”

“I’ve got some lyrics to work over. You can keep my cock warm while I do that.”

“Right now?”

“I thought that’s what you wanted?”

“It-it is.”

“Then get up.”

You did as you were told and stood up from your spot on the sofa, watching as Vernon grabbed the back of one of the kitchen chairs and began dragging it behind him.

“Why-”

“I don’t want to ruin our armchair,” he said as an explanation and jerked his head in the direction of your bedroom, motioning for you to follow him.

The mirror in your bedroom was one of your favorite things in the house. It sat on the floor leaned up against the wall with a large ornate frame encompassing it. It was almost taller than you, and weighed about sixty pounds. Its gold paint was chipping in the corners and it was a bit scuffed up, but it was still the best find you’d ever made at the antique fair and you stood by that. You still remembered carrying it home the day you bought it. Vernon had filmed the process instead of helping, watching you struggle with the newspaper-wrapped package through the screen on his phone with a smug grin on his face the entire time.

Vernon set the chair on the floor in front of the mirror and began to strip, pulling off his hoodie first before shimmying out of his joggers. You followed in suit by unzipping your skirt and letting it fall to the ground. You stepped out of it and went for your shirt next, yanking it over your head. Your hands went for the clasp of your bra after that before thinking twice.

“Do you want my bra off or-”

He seemed to think about it for a moment before answering. “Leave it on.”

You nodded and dropped your hands back by your side, watching him grab his notebook from the desk and settle on the chair. He was completely naked now, and you were left in just your underwear, a scene you both were intimately familiar with.

He spat into his palm and took his cock in his hand, pumping a few times before you stopped him.

“Let me,” you offered, kneeling on the floor in front of him.

He groaned and handed over control easily. You grinned to yourself before taking him in your mouth. You knew he’d never pass up an opportunity to have you suck him off.

You worked slowly, taking your time, enjoying the feeling of him getting hard on your tongue. Vernon gripped your hair with one hand and clutched his notebook with the other. He fought to keep his eyes open, to keep his head upright. In the mirror he could see the back of your head bobbing up and down on his lap, the expanse of your back, every scar, freckle, and mole he’d seen a thousand times before but now from a different angle.

You hollowed out your cheeks and took him to the back of your throat, trying not to laugh when you heard him curse.

“Stop,” he breathed out, pulling you off of him by your hair. “You’re a menace.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

He glared at you for a moment before flicking his gaze downwards.

“I’d ask if you want me to return the favor, but I don’t think I need to.” He reached out to prove his point and brushed a couple fingers over your panties, ignoring the way you trembled as he did. He held his hand up to you to show you the wetness gathered on his pointer and index before bringing them to his lips and sucking it off. “You’re plenty wet already.”

You suppressed a moan and pursed your lips, nodding in agreement.

Vernon didn’t have to say anything for you to know what he wanted next. You slipped out of your panties and tossed them to the side. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you straddled him and lined yourself up. You both sighed as you sank down onto his cock. He kissed you deeply, winding a hand through hair and moaning your name. You let your head rest against his shoulder and tried not to rock your hips forward. Your boyfriend was having similar issues, hips stuttering underneath you, head falling back in pleasure.

“H-hansol,” you gasped.

“Don’t,” he warned through gritted teeth. You clenched around him involuntarily and whined. “What did I just say?”

“Sorry, can’t help it.”

He took a deep breath and began flipping through the pages of his notebook. You craned your neck to look back at your reflection in the mirror, smiling weakly at the sight. Vernon had an arm slung loosely around your waist still. His cheeks were rosy and warm to the touch. Your ass was on full display at this angle, but you didn’t mind. You knew it was your boyfriend’s favorite view anyway, and you weren’t ashamed to admit that you could see why.

The way you were seated on his lap made it look like you could have just been cuddling. The reflection didn’t show Vernon’s cock buried deep inside your pussy and your breathing had slowed to somewhat of a normal pace.

Vernon began to hum to himself and you turned your attention back to him, admiring how he looked while he was concentrating. His eyelashes were so fucking long, it was something you had always been jealous of. The light filtering into the room made them look blond and you thought back to all of the colors he had dyed his hair before.

It was brown now, with remnants of the previous black still fading, but he had gone blond once before. You still remembered how shocked you had been when he came home from the salon that day.

You were doing so good. You were relaxing comfortably, lost in your own thoughts, when Vernon moved for the first time. He was just scratching his ankle, but the sudden movement made you yelp.

“Don’t do that!” you cried.

“What, this?” he asked and bent down to scratch his ankle again.

“Yes, that,” you growled.

“Why not?”

“You know why.”

“What about this?”

He leaned back and stretched his arms above his head.

“That’s worse!” you hissed.

“Sorry.”

“No you’re not.” He just shrugged and tossed his notebook on the bed. “Don’t you have work to do?”

“Could use a break,” he replied simply, “and it’s hard to focus with distractions.”

The last part was pointed at you and you narrowed your eyes.

“I have been perfectly still.”

“Yeah, but your... impatience is, well, physical.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re soaking, love.”

You looked down at Vernon’s lap and suddenly realized what he meant. Your arousal was quite literally dripping onto his thighs and the chair beneath you. That was why he didn’t want to use the armchair. You felt your face heat up in embarrassment and buried your head in your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Fuck, I’m sorry!”

He chuckled and rubbed a hand up and down your back comfortingly. “Don’t be! I know you can’t help it, and it’s honestly really fucking hot.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“No,” he promised and shook his head adamantly. “I like that I have this effect on you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late.”

“I know.”

“So this fantasy of yours,” he said, clearing his throat. “How does it end?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“You.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What about me?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I get to pick how it ends?”

“Mhm. I usually leave it up to the imagination so it’s open-ended.”

“You mean when you masturbate to it you cum before it ends so you lose interest?” Vernon clarified.

“Maybe.”

“I know you,” he said cockily.

“And like I said, you know what I like.”

“I like to think I do.”

“So tell me what to do.”

“You just like being bossed around.”

“And what about it?”

“Brat,” he spat.

“Bitch.”

Vernon smiled and jerked his hips the slightest bit, making you whimper. “Stand up.”

You tried not to show your disappointment, but did as you were told and stood up, wincing at the empty feeling that followed.

“Just for a minute, baby,” he assured you. “Turn around.”

You turned so that you were facing the mirror and let yourself be pulled back onto your boyfriend’s lap. He slid his cock back inside of you almost immediately and praised you for taking it so well.

“I thought you should see yourself,” he whispered against your shoulder.

You moaned, only able to nod in agreement. You were positioned at a bit of an angle now since you were facing forward, but any discomfort you felt evaporated when Hansol kissed the back of your neck. He unclasped your bra and let it fall to the floor.

“Look at you,” he murmured as he urged you to start riding him, “fucking yourself on my cock like a slut.”

“Fuck, Hansol.”

You forced yourself to look at your reflection, straining your neck so that you could see clearly. You made eye contact with yourself only to see a stranger stared back at you. The person in the mirror looked like a fucking pornstar, tits out, legs spread, but also fucked out of their mind.

“Feels so good,” you panted.

“I know, baby, I know.”

Vernon brought a hand down to your clit and started to rub in circular motions, a clue that he was getting close. Your legs were shaking at this point and you could feel your own orgasm starting to creep up on you as he slammed into you from behind.

“You look so fucking hot like this,” Vernon grunted.

You met his eyes in the reflection and gave a weak smile. “I know.”

“Fuck, y/n!” He came suddenly with a moan of your name. You watched in the mirror as his eyes screwed up and his whole body tensed underneath you.

“Can I- can I cum?” you begged, not even sure if you’d be able to hold out if he said no.

A mere nod of his head was all it took for you to tip over the edge. Vernon weakly fucked you through it, still riding the end of his own high.

“So good for me,” he managed in broken breaths.

You arched your back against his chest as you came, mumbling profanities the entire time. You tried to keep your eyes open to watch yourself fall apart, but you only caught glimpses.

You collapsed back against Vernon as the aftershocks of your orgasm subsided, gasping for breath like you had just finished running a marathon.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Vernon wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing the top of your head gently. You were both covered in sweat and cum, but neither of you could find the energy to care.

“Of course.”

You let yourself relax against his body for another moment, observing your reflections in the mirror. Your hair was a tangled mess, but so was Vernon’s. Hickeys were already beginning to bloom on your neck and shoulders, reminders to follow you in the days ahead.

Your eyes wandered up to meet your boyfriend’s, who was already gazing at you tenderly. You shared a brief look and smirked at each other.

“Round two?”

happy birthday again tiff!! love u, mean it <3 (lmk what you thought i always appreciate feedback)

shoot me an ask if you'd like to be added to my taglist

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: your crush begins to get more intense for Wanda, ensuing awkwardness between you both

warning/s: none

author's note: so glad you’re all liking this, here’s part two! 🥰

part one | part three | part four | part five | masterlist | wattpad

I knew it was a dream as soon as it began. Dreams never tricked me as I always detected something didn't feel right and figured out it wasn't real. But that was my only 'talent' with dreams, as everything else was left down to my subconscious. I couldn't control them, break away from the script or deviate from the scene in any way. I just knew when it wasn't real.

Admittedly, it took a little longer for me to recognise this one was a dream compared to others I'd had. It just seemed so normal as I headed into Chemistry class, seeing other students filing in and joining their partners. Mr. Hale was at the front of the class, occupied by his laptop and the projector, and it felt like any other day at school. The lights were off and the blinds were closed slightly, leaving the room in darkness except for the light from the board.

"Are we watching a film or something?" I asked Wanda as I set my bag on the desk beside her, earning her attention.

She looked up from her notepad and smiled widely, blue eyes sparkling in the darkness. "You're here, you took forever!"

"You saw me two lessons ago," I teased, taking a seat beside her.

She moved closer to me, hands immediately moving to my left one, playing with my fingers mindlessly. It felt right at the time, but I knew deep down that this wasn't real. In what world would this happen?

"Still," she mumbled adorably, before meeting my eyes. "We're watching some video about the periodic table."

I hummed, glancing at Mr. Hale as he struggled to pull up the video.

"Thank God because I couldn't be bothered doing work," Wanda added with a sigh, before moving closer to me, leaning on the palm of her hand as the other held mine still. "D'you think you can cover for me whilst I sneak in a nap?"

I stifled a laugh, moving closer and admiring the way her eyes changed colour in the light from the board. "I'm sure you're supposed to be paying attention."

She scrunched her nose, an uninterested smile on her lips, and it made my heart flutter.

"Fine, I'll cover for you," I gave in easily, before pressing a kiss to her nose.

She giggled quietly and when I pulled back, she leaned in and kissed my lips. Her free hand moved to the back of my neck as I rested mine on her lap, closing my eyes and falling into her without question. Okay, so yeah, definitely a dream, but I wasn't complaining.

"If Miss Maximoff and Miss Y/L/N can kindly stop making out, then we can begin the lesson," Mr. Hale announced, breaking Wanda and I's kiss.

Some of the class snickered as we separated from each other's hold, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. He gave us a fed up look.

"Thank you," he said, before erupting into a speech about today's lesson.

When he started the video, I leaned forward on the desk to get comfortable and felt Wanda do the same, leaning her head on my arm and continuing to play with my hand. I smiled to myself, kissing the top of her head gently before getting comfortable. It all seemed too good to be true, but God was it a nice thought.

When I woke up the next morning with butterflies in my stomach, I groaned loudly. I knew I'd screwed myself over. I was in too deep. Dreaming about Wanda was not good, not good at all...

And it definitely didn't help when I showed up to class that same day, approaching my table and an already-seated Wanda. Just a dream, I told myself as I took a seat. Not real. And not a big deal.

"Good morning," she greeted when I sat down and pulled my books out. Her usual picture perfect smile was on her lips as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you?"

Trying my best not to think about my dream, I gave her a small smile. "G-good, yeah."

Fuck me, why did I stutter?

"You sure? You seem distracted," she noticed, making me swallow hard and look away from her piercing gaze.

"Yeah," I managed to say without stuttering once again. "Just tired. What about you?"

"Same," she said with a breathy chuckle, her leg brushing mine under the table and making me freeze. She didn't seem to notice as she continued, "I stayed up late binge-watching Netflix. Probably the wrong choice, but here we are."

I bit my lip to contain a laugh, relaxing a little. It was just a dream. She wasn't that bad. I was fine!

Class started and Mr. Hale was explaining something about doing a practical experiment today, but if I'm being honest, I was barely listening. Stuck in a daydream, I was wiggling my pen in my right hand and staring at the display behind Mr. Hale's head mindlessly.

Suddenly, a warm hand rested on mine, pressing it to the table and stopping me from shaking my pen. I shit you not, my heart stopped when I saw Wanda smirking playfully at me.

"D'you mind?" she asked, clearly finding my wiggling pen distracting.

All I could think about was how soft and warm her hand was, and then I became aware of her bare leg still brushing against mine – she just had to wear a dress today, didn't she? – and then the fact that she was still staring at me with amusement dancing in her eyes. My dream from last night returned to mind as she was still yet to remove her hand and I was lucky I managed to find my words as I choked out a response.

"S-sorry," I said, frozen in place, yet again, by Wanda's presence.

She snickered, shaking her head at my dismay, before finally letting go of my hand. I licked my lips nervously and let go of my pen, but not quite finding the energy to move my hand. I could still feel the warmth of her hand lingering on mine and, oh God, this was getting worse by the second. Why did I have to have that stupid dream?!

Clearly distracted by my own stupidity, I failed to realise that Mr. Hale had let us begin with our experiment, whatever that may be as I wasn't listening. Wanda was nudging me slightly, bringing me back into reality, and said something about getting lab coats and goggles whilst I got the bunsen burner.

I watched her leave and massaged my head, telling myself to get my act together. I was not the stupid cliché of a girl who acted nervous around her crush. I was better than that, goddamn it.

After getting the bunsen burner, I hooked it up to the gas tap as Wanda returned with our lab coats and safety goggles. We both put them on before Wanda gave me a knowing look, humoured smile tugging at her lips. I was beginning to hate (love) that look.

"You totally weren't paying attention during that, were you?" she asked, but she definitely already knew the answer.

"'Course I was," I played it cool, before wandering over to the handout on our desk. "We're doing an experiment."

She chuckled as I distracted myself with reading the instructions.

"So it says the first instruction is to boil some water in a beaker," I said with a nod. "Seems easy enough. Just gotta get a beaker."

My mouth went dry when Wanda hunched down on the desk, reading the paper between us. I hoped she couldn't hear how fast my heart was beating in my chest.

"You think you can manage that one?" she teased, glancing up at me with that same playful smirk on her lips.

Her eyes twinkled with mischief, similar to the one her twin possessed on a regular basis, and I'd never felt more stuck in place in my life than I did now. Without thinking, my gaze lowered to her lips and I realised then and there how badly I wanted to feel her lips against mine for real. She was so close I could move forward a mere few inches and feel it, but I didn't.

"Y-yeah, I'll get it now," I stumbled out, before literally stumbling over the stool as I made a move to leave.

I tried to ignore the way her gaze followed me and instead focused on getting to the beakers without passing out. To my relief, Y/BF/N was also collecting a beaker for him and his partner, too. When I stopped by his side, he looked up to see who it was, then smiled.

"You alright?" he asked, sensing my panic.

I shook my head frantically. "Definitely not. This is really bad, Y/BF/N."

Y/BF/N furrowed his brows, making me give him the look, to which he eventually followed what I meant.

"What happened?" he asked, trying (and failing) to hide his amusement.

I made sure nobody was nearby or could hear us before admitting, "I had a dream."

He raised his eyebrows suggestively, making me slap him on the arm quickly.

"Not that kind of dream, you perv," I clarified, before sighing. "But a dream. About you-know-who. And it threw me off and now I can't seem to act like a human."

He snorted as he tried not to laugh. I glared at him, shoving him again, making him laugh out loud.

"I'm sorry," he defended. "It's just– you've got it bad."

"Very helpful." I narrowed my eyes.

"Look, it's new which is why you're all awkward," he said knowingly, collecting his beaker. "It'll eventually pass when you get used to it. Until then, try not to do anything stupid."

"Too late," I mumbled under my breath.

He patted me reassuringly before leaving. I grabbed a beaker and turned around, deciding to take it easy. I'd get over it. I always did. I wasn't stupid. Yeah, I wasn't stupid. I had this!

But that thinking immediately went out the window when I approached our workspace and saw Wanda leaning on the desk, looking over the handout with thought. Her hair was pulled back for safety reasons, exposing her tensed jaw and pursed lips. She was wearing her lab coat over her black, knee-length dress and I'm not gonna lie, she looked extremely sexy today because she was wearing matching black knee-high boots. I gulped.

God help me.

—

You'd be relieved to know that my crush on Wanda died down after a while. Not in the way that I no longer had a crush on her – God knew I was overflowing with feelings for her – but in the way that I was getting a lot better at hiding it.

Which was perfect for when I saw her with her dick of a boyfriend. You'd be surprised how many times he kept popping up. And when he did, I always seemed to want to strangle him.

This time, I was working my new part-time job at a pizza place in town. Y/BF/N was keeping me company on my shift by taking extra long to finish his pizza so we could talk at the counter. I was drying some glasses as we spoke when the door to the parlour opened and the bell jingled, signalling new customers.

"I believe that's your cue," Y/BF/N teased, making me roll my eyes playfully.

My gaze wandered to the door where I saw a small group of teens walking in and finding a seat. It took me a second to realise that it was actually Wanda and her friends, including her boyfriend, who were looking for a table. My eyes widened with surprise as she looked around. Her eyes found mine and an excited smile appeared on her face as she waved to me.

"This just keeps getting better," Y/BF/N said when he saw Wanda heading our way, thankfully without her friends.

I pinched him before straightening up and plastering my best customer service smile on my lips. Wanda stopped before me, smiling between Y/BF/N and I.

"Hey, guys," she greeted brightly, to which Y/BF/N smiled in return, before looking my way and making my stomach flip at how pretty she looked today. "Y/N, I didn't know you worked here!"

"Yeah, it's kinda new," I answered coolly. "Gotta get that extra money, right?"

She nodded before grabbing the tip of my cap on my head and wiggling it, letting out a laugh. "You look adorable in your uniform, I must say."

I forgot how to breathe as she let go of my cap, her eyes still glittering with joy. Y/BF/N tried to hide his laughter as he sipped his drink, meanwhile I felt my neck heating up with embarrassment.

"Th-thanks," I got out nervously. I know what you're thinking – I said I got better at hiding my crush. And I have! I just– why did she have to put me on the spot like this?!

"I should get back," she said after a moment, pointing over her shoulder towards her friends. "But it was nice seeing you. Are you serving us?"

I nodded, regaining composure. "I'll be over in a minute. Give you chance to pick something."

"Awesome," she said sweetly, flashing me a final smile before heading back to her friends.

I released a shaky breath when she left, taking my cap off and massaging my head momentarily.

"I feel like she flirts with you just to see what happens," Y/BF/N said with amusement.

"It's just her personality," I mumbled, before putting my cap back on and taking a deep breath. "Time to work."

I continued to do my job as usual, thankfully not being affected by Wanda's presence, and took their orders. It was pretty uneventful as I served them their food and continued to hang with Y/BF/N by the counter. Every time I'd look over at her out of bad habit, I'd feel uneasy at the sight of Nate having his hands all over her. I mean, obviously he could – he was her boyfriend – but admittedly, I was a little jealous. I tried to ignore the feeling by busying myself with other things.

Wanda's friends were being a little noisier and rowdier than I'd liked, but it wasn't particularly busy so I saw no need to shut them up. Yeah, in hindsight, maybe I should have.

Clearing a table after some customers left, I balanced a tray of glasses in my hand and headed back to the counter. But on the way, a football came out of nowhere and got launched at my chest, making me drop the tray onto the floor with a loud crash. The rowdiness from Wanda's table ceased momentarily, as did the chatter from other customers, and I looked up to see Nate and his friends watching me, trying to suppress laughter.

"I am so sorry," Nate called with anything but guilt.

"Shit, Y/N, you okay?" Y/BF/N said, racing to my side in an instant.

I nodded, clenching my jaw, and bent down to clean up the mess. My boss must have heard the commotion as she came out from the kitchen and saw what happened, putting two and two together.

"Right, all of you out," she ordered without questioning anything, looking to Nate and the rest of the table. "We don't tolerate that tomfoolery here."

They groaned their complaints, but I didn't bother looking up to see, instead focusing on cleaning up the mess. Luckily for me, the tray took most of the hit rather than my chest, so unlike last time, I wasn't hurt.

"You're lucky I'm not charging you for the broken glasses, honey," my boss continued to scold Nate as he walked past, grabbing his football.

I saw feet shuffling past me, presuming it was their table leaving, and focused on picking up the large shards of glass and putting them on the tray. Y/BF/N helped out, even though he didn't need to, and I smiled at him as he knelt opposite me doing the same.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Wanda's voice grabbed my attention, making me look up. She had a guilty frown on her lips as she looked between the mess and I.

I stood up, shaking my head. "It's fine. It's–" But I stopped speaking, instead letting out an exhausted sigh. "No offence, but your boyfriend is a dick."

She pressed her lips together, not saying anything. I felt bad for saying it, but this was the second time he'd hit me with his stupid ball. It was true.

"I should clean this up," I mumbled, avoiding her eyes. "See you at school."

She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. I knelt down and continued to clean up, hoping she'd walk away already. This was awkward enough as it was.

"See you guys at school," she finally spoke, making me pause. "Sorry, again."

Y/BF/N bid her a goodbye before she left for good. I let out another sigh, deciding not to say anything as I continued cleaning up. It would never make sense to me why someone as lovely as Wanda would be with someone as obnoxious as Nate. I guess I'd never know.

—

Since that lovely incident at the pizza parlour, things had been a little distant between Wanda and I. Mostly on my part if I'm being honest. I couldn't help it – the whole situation had been uncomfortable and embarrassing, making it impossible to return to how we usually were.

This meant that Wanda was the one to come to me and check in, which I definitely wasn't expecting.

I was at home one afternoon, hanging with my older sister who was staying with us for a week. She'd moved out a year ago, getting her own place a few towns over, so I missed her presence a lot. I took advantage of her weekly visit by having a catch up as we played basketball in the front drive.

Disclaimer: none of us were good at basketball, but the hoop came with the house and it was simply tradition for us to attempt to shoot baskets as we had a catch up. Only, this time, as we were talking, a loud car engine pulled us from our chat and we both spun around to see an unfamiliar car parking up.

"That must be mum's customer," Y/S/N realised, holding the basketball underneath her arm. She glanced at me with a quirked brow. "You think we're gonna get roped into helping?"

"Most definitely," I answered with a chuckle, and just on cue, our mum opened the garage door behind us.

She was a florist and had a large pick-up delivery for a customer today. Apparently they were a good friend, so she had the flowers delivered to our house and they were waiting in our garage until now.

"Can you girls give me a hand?" she asked my sister and I, motioning for us to go to her. "I'm gonna say hi. Just start bringing the crates out, yeah?"

We both saluted playfully before watching her go to the customer's car. My jaw dropped when I saw who it was – Wanda's mum. And to top things off, Wanda and Pietro were both with her, the three of them getting out of their car and greeting my mum with smiles on their faces.

"You cool?" my sister asked, nudging me slightly.

I closed my mouth, straightening up. "Yeah, yeah, duh."

She gave me a funny look but grabbed a crate and began to leave it in the drive for the moment. I swallowed the lump in my throat and did the same, knowing both Wanda and Pietro were approaching us after my mum pointed them our way.

"Y/N, hey," Wanda said, stopping before my sister and I. She gave my sister a friendly smile before looking to me with nervous eyes. "It's good to see you."

I tried to say something – anything – but my words got stuck in my throat and all that came out was a weird noise. Partially because of the awkwardness between us at my fault and partially because of how pretty she looked in her sundress.

"Hi, I'm Y/S/N," my sister cut in, noticing my quietness. She gave me a sideways glance before looking to the twins. "It's Wanda and Pietro, right?"

"Yeah," Wanda said with a smile, eyes lingering on mine before looking to my sister. "We're just helping our mum out to load the car."

"I'm the muscle," Pietro joked, lifting his bicep, making Wanda roll her eyes jokingly.

"Okay, muscle, you can come help me get these out the garage," my sister played along before looking to Wanda and I. "You guys okay to load the car?"

Wanda nodded. "Sure thing."

Y/S/N grabbed Pietro, who shot me a friendly smile, before leaving Wanda and I alone.

"Your sister seems nice," Wanda tried to make conversation as we both grabbed a crate and took it to the back of her mum's car.

"Yeah," I agreed uncomfortably. "She's just visiting."

Wanda hummed in acknowledgment, neither of us knowing what else to say. We walked past our chatting mothers before setting the crates in the back of her mum's car.

"Are we okay?" Wanda asked suddenly, as soon as our hands were free. I looked to her and saw she was debating something internally before looking to me. "I mean, I know we're okay, but I just– I feel like you've been off since, well... since Nate threw that ball at you."

My neck heated up with embarrassment as I cleared my throat; my eyes fell to the flowers in the crates.

"I really am sorry," she apologised again, resting a hand on my forearm, sending shivers up my spine. "He can be such a jerk sometimes. Does stuff without thinking."

"You don't need to apologise," I said, finally lifting my eyes to meet her anxious green ones. And I meant it – Nate's idiocy wasn't her fault and it was harsh of me to make her seem like it was. I sighed, knowing my distant behaviour would end here. "We're good, Wanda."

She still seemed uncertain. "You sure?"

I gave her my best smile, hoping she knew I meant it. "I'm sure."

Her tense shoulders relaxed and a relieved smile spread across her face. "Okay, good. I'm glad."

She held my gaze and I just knew my heart was beating too fast to be useful as she did. She was just so beautiful.

"You know, the whole point of splitting into teams was to be done quicker," Pietro's voice interrupted our staring contest.

He stepped between us, glancing between us with amusement, before setting a crate in the back of the car.

"Right, yeah, we were just on our way back," I said, smiling sheepishly.

Pietro smirked. "No harm no foul, princess."

I was taken aback slightly as he called me that, and even more taken aback when he plucked a flower from the crate and offered it my way.

"For you," he said, half joking and half serious.

Unsure what to say, I accepted the flower. "Er, thanks... I think."

Wanda crossed her arms behind him, eyes narrowed in his direction. I wondered what she was thinking, but never got the chance to ask as their mum's voice called out to us.

"Pietro, I paid to use the bouquets," she said with mild distress, "not so you could ruin them."

His cheeks flushed as he called back, "Sorry!"

I tried not to laugh as the three of us headed back to get the rest of the crates, being sure to set the flower to the side. We ended up filling her car with the bouquets before facing our parents as we bid them a goodbye.

"They're lovely, Y/M/N," Wanda's mum was complimenting the flowers. "Thank you again."

My mum patted her back. "Anytime, dear." She looked between the twins and my sister and I. "Thank you all for helping out."

Y/S/N and I smiled her way as Wanda's mum nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, thank you!" she added, looking to Y/S/N and I. "It's so great to see you all together. Especially you two, Wanda and Y/N. It's nice to know you're good friends after so long of barely speaking."

Wanda's face was beginning to turn pink as I'm sure mine was doing the same.

"Yes, I agree," my mum said with a smile. "Anyway, we won't keep you any longer. Good luck with the banquet!"

Wanda and Pietro waved goodbye to Y/S/N and I before joining their mum in the car. I followed her figure subconsciously, butterflies floating in my stomach until their car was gone.

"Damn, I really missed a lot," Y/S/N said when they were gone, wrapping an arm over my shoulder and tugging me closer. "You're crushing hard."

Instantly, I looked to her. "What? What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes, letting go of me. "So we're playing that game. Okay. I'll bite."

As she began to walk away, I chased after her. "What game? Y/S/N? What are you talking about?"

She merely laughed and allowed me to chase her, wondering how the hell she knew of my crush on Wanda. Was I that obvious?

[404gendernotfound]

My Little Squirrel Part 2 (Hybrid!Jisung x Reader)

Summary: After spending your evening at the shelter you had to head back to do something for university even though it was hard for you to part with your favorite squirrel. Since university was stressful and time consuming you couldn’t manage to visit the shelter as soon as you wanted to.

Contains: fluff

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 4,2 K

Enjoy!

Part 1

________________________________________________________________

A huge smile grew on Jisungs face after I had promised him to visit him as often as possible. We kept laying in each other’s arms for some time after that just until he had fully calmed down. Thankfully his sniffling had stopped and he sat up to lean with his back against the wall. He looked a bit flustered since his cheeks were tainted a faint pink, probably because he felt a bit embarrassed for crying and clinging to me in his weak moment. He had scooted a bit away but he was still looking at me from his position. I moved on the bed so I was sitting at the edge of the bed facing the door. I looked at the clock next to it seeing that it was already 4pm which meant that I already spend half of my day here at the shelter trying to get Jisung to smile again. I looked back at Jisung to see that he was still watching me with his still slightly red eyes from crying. I send him a smile and scooted back to lean against the wall too, still keeping that little distance between us.

“Are you ok for now?”, I asked and watched him nod.

“Do you feel like joining the others again or do you want to be alone some more?”

I asked this with caution since I didn’t want him to think that I was trying to force him to go back to the other hybrids. Jisung looked as if he was thinking hard about my words. He scratched his head before he began to speak.

“I think I’ll be fine. You can go home”, he mumbled quietly and avoided to look directly at my face.

He must have noticed that I was thinking about going home soon since I kept looking at the clock from time to time. I still needed to prepare something for the next day since I would have to return to university again for some lectures. Jisung somehow looked a bit sad now that I looked at him a bit closer. I felt guilty for being the cause of the sad expression on his face right now. I reached out with my hand and placed it on his trying to sooth his worry about me leaving.

“If you don’t want me to leave yet I can still stay here a bit longer. I still have to do something but it’s not as important as you right now”, I explained and softly squeezed his hand.

Jisung looked at me and softly smiled. He shook his head and retreated his hand from mine.

“No, it’s ok. I’m ok. Don’t worry about me”

“Are you sure?”, I asked still concerned for the boy right next to me.

“Yes. You go home and do whatever you still have to do”

I wasn’t sure if he was just trying to cover up the fact that he didn’t want me to leave or if he really was ok for now. I stood up from the bed and grabbed my bag. I saw Jisung unwrap himself from the blanket and start to fold it until I stopped him.

“Don’t. You can keep it. It’s yours now.”, I said and wrapped the blanket around him again.

With my hands still resting at the edge of the blanket and right next to his face, Jisungs cheeks turned a darker shade of pink and he tried to hide his face in his hands.

“Thank you. I’ll treasure it forever”, he whispered and peeked through his fingers.

I couldn’t handle his cuteness. I softly ruffled through his hair before I held out my hand for him to take it.

“Let’s go to the others, shall we?”

He grabbed it and nodded happily. We walked out of his room and through the corridor to the common room where the other hybrids were playing. As we walked in 5 bunnies came walking over and gathered around us.

“Hannie how are you?”

“Are you feeling better?”

“Don’t get sad again, ok?”

They attacked him with thousands of questions and I thought Jisung would go back into panic mode but he stayed calm by my side and let all the questions get poured over him. One of them pulled him into a hug and the others shortly joined after. I had to smile at the sight in front of me. Jisung was in the best hands right here. I cleared my throat to get their attention again before I started to talk.

“You guys have to promise me to keep him safe and take care of him while I’m not around.”

“You’re not staying with us?”, a bunny asked and walked over to hug me.

“No, I can’t stay with you. But I’ll come visit you more often. So I’m counting on you to take care of that little ball of fluff over there”, I hugged him back and pointed at Jisung who shyly smiled in my direction.

“We will take care of him. Don’t worry”

“Alright. So I gotta go now. I’ll keep in touch with bf/n so if anything happens just tell her and I’ll know what’s going on. I’ll be off now.”

Before I could leave the common room Jisung came over to me. He stood in front of me and looked at me. It seemed like he wanted something but didn’t know how to say it.

“Do you want a hug?”, I asked smiling at him and he nodded.

I pulled him closer to me and wrapped my arms around him cautiously. He hugged me tight and buried his face in my neck again.

“Get home safe and visit soon”, he mumbled and squeezed me one last time before he stepped back and smiled at me.

I ruffled through his hair, which made him giggle and then made my way to the entrance. As bf/n saw me she came from behind the counter and hugged me.

“You’re going home?”, she asked.

“Yeah. University starts again tomorrow and I gotta prepare something for the lectures, so I have to go. If something happens with Jisung you contact me, right?”

“Of course. You’ll know when somethings going on. Text me when you get home”

“I will”

I waved goodbye before I left and walked back home. As I arrived at my apartment I texted bf/n that I arrived at home and then sat down at my desk to prepare some stuff for tomorrow. I was planning on visiting the shelter again after the lectures but I still wasn’t sure if I would be able to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since the lectures went longer than expected and we already had to do a lot of stuff I didn’t really find the time to visit the shelter the last two weeks. I sometimes called bf/n and asked how Jisung was doing but other than that I just couldn’t manage to see him. Today was the first day after a while that I found the time to visit my best friend and my favorite boy. I arrived at the shelter at around 3pm. Bf/n was currently talking to some potential hybrid owners when I walked in through the door. I waved at her and walked past the entrance to the common room. As I walked into the room I saw that Jisung was sitting in the corner on a bean bag, reading a book while he was wrapped in his star blanket. I had to smile. He really seemed to love this blanket. I walked over and stood next to him. He didn’t even look up to check who had entered the room. He seemed not to really care.

“What are you reading?”, I asked looking at the open pages.

“Oh it’s just some book I found in the cabinet”, he answered and kept his focus on the pages.

I was a bit confused. Was he already not interested in me anymore that he just reacted like this?

“Are you not going to greet me?”, I asked confused about his behavior.

He turned his head towards me and his eyes began to sparkle.

“IT’S YOU!”, he almost screamed, instantly dropped his book mindlessly to the floor and almost jumped into my arms.

“Woah. Easy there, Hannie. We don’t want any of us to break a bone”, I laughed and wrapped my arms around him.

“I missed you. Where were you all this time?”, he mumbled and looked at me with big curious eyes.

“I had a lot of stuff going on with university. I wanted to visit you a lot earlier but I couldn’t make any time for it. I’m glad I could see you again today”, I explained and hugged him even tighter than before.

I was so glad to see that he was doing fine and seeing him this happy just from seeing me made me incredibly happy too. Jisung seemed like he didn’t even want to let go since he kept hugging me as tight as possible. I sighed relieved that he wasn’t disappointed in me for not coming to see him earlier and buried my face in his neck. Being this close to him I could smell the scent of his skin and to be honest it was the best thing I’ve ever smelled. Not to be cheesy but he really smelled like honey and I could almost hear the bees buzzing in my head as I was reminded of laying in a beautiful meadow and watching the bees fly from flower to flower. Jisung began to giggle as I nuzzled my nose against his neck which made me smile. We separated from the hug and he looked at me with big puppy eyes as he shyly grabbed my hands.

“Can we cuddle some more?”, he asked and looked at me as if he had a great need for affection.

“Of course. Let’s go over to the couch”

We walked over to the couch and I laid down with my back against the pillows. Jisung joined me with a dark red color painting his cheeks as he crawled on top of me. He laid his head down on my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist holding me as close to him as possible. I wrapped my arms around him and put one hand in his hair to play with it while we enjoyed this moment.

“Tell me if I get too heavy”, he whispered and looked up at me.

“You’re as light as a feather. Don’t worry”, I replied and ruffled his hair.

Jisung smiled and closed his eyes. It almost looked like he was filling his batteries again with the affection I was giving him. It was unusually quiet in the common room. Normally the 5 bunnies would be roaming around not letting one just have a quiet moment for once but now it was silent and no one was to be seen. It could be that they were sleeping in their rooms and maybe even one or two of them had been adopted in the time I wasn’t here. While Jisung was laying on top of me I saw his tail move behind him from time to time. I just now noticed how damn fluffy it looked. He must have noticed where I had been focusing my gaze on since he smiled at me and intentionally wiggled with his tail.

“What are you looking at?”, he asked and I almost chocked on my spit suddenly feeling shy myself.

“Your tail looks so fluffy. I can’t help but look at it.”, I admitted and watched his smile get even brighter.

“You can touch it if you want to”, he said and moved a bit up so I could reach better for his tail.

My god was his fur fluffy. As I touched it my hands were almost buried in an ocean of dark brown and long fur that was extremely warm to the touch and felt like touching a cloud. Jisung giggled as he saw the expression on my face showing how mesmerized I was with his fluffy tail. Shortly after that he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek instantly pulling me down from my cloud back to reality. I looked at him shocked and noticed my cheeks heat up as I realized what he had just done. Other than usual he didn’t look as shy as before. He radiated confidence and almost a bit of pride as he watched my face turn into a tomato. I felt like I had been frozen. Jisung moved his hand in front of my face trying to get me out of my trance but all I could do was look at him and try not to panic over the fact that this cute squirrel had just kissed my cheek with the biggest confidence I had ever seen in my life. He laughed at my current state and moved to sit on my lap instead of laying on top of me. It didn’t make my situation easier and caused me to blush even more. He seemed to enjoy my lack of words and seeing me this flustered since he tried everything he could to make me even more embarrassed. I couldn’t believe my eyes when he moved closer and cupped my cheeks with his hands.

“You look cute when you’re this embarrassed”, he said and leaned even closer.

Instead of replying to him I sat up a bit and cupped his face with my hands. He closed his eyes and I used that moment to fight back. I moved closer and pressed a long soft kiss to his forehead before I moved away again. As I saw the face I wanted to see, his cheeks all red and totally flustered, I smiled satisfied.

“Now we’re even”

Jisung moved back to his position before and snuggled against me trying to hide his flustered face. I continued to pet his head as he closed his eyes and rested. After some time of silence he began to speak again.

“Tell me about your home”, he mumbled quietly without lifting his head to look at me.

“Alright. It’s nothing special. Just a small apartment for myself where I usually don’t spend too much time since I’m either at work, university or out with my friends.”, I explained.

“And is there like a spare room?”, he asked out of nowhere.

“There is one. It’s currently my guest room but since I don’t really have guests over that spend the night I might just turn it into my office so I can have a bit more space in my bedroom with the desk missing then.”

“Oh. Ok”, Jisung said, sounding disappointed and somehow sad.

I didn’t really realize his intention until I noticed the sad look on his face. There was something he wasn’t telling me or that he was afraid to tell me. I turned my head so that I could look at him and softly lifted his chin up with one of my hands.

“Why do you look so sad hearing that?”, I asked still clueless about his intentions behind that particular question.

“It’s nothing.”, he whispered turning his head away.

“Come on. If it was nothing you wouldn’t have that look on your face. You can tell me everything, remember?”

He nodded and then looked back at me and began to talk about the last few days. 2 of the rabbits had left the shelter to live with a new family and the other three were currently on their trial week to see if their new potential owners could take care of them meaning that Jisung was currently alone at this part of the shelter. A few new hybrids came in but they were all still in quarantine for safety reasons and they would join him by the end of next week. I understood now why it was so quiet and why he had looked so bored when I had come in.

“So you’re all alone?”

He nodded and his faint smile completely vanished from his face. It broke my heart to see him like this. It looked like he was about to start crying every second now.

“And so you asked me if I had a spare room so I could take you in cause you feel abandoned? Is that it?”, I asked slowly getting a hang of the situation.

Jisung slowly nodded and turned away from me.

“I’m sorry for asking. I should go to my room now. I need to sleep.”, he suddenly said as if he wanted to avoid talking about it longer and just as the words had left his lips he was already gone.

I was left on the couch, confused about his behavior and even more confused about his reaction. It wasn’t like I rejected his proposal. Thinking about what words I had said before maybe he misunderstood and thought that with telling him that I would refunction the guest room it would mean that there was no space for him in my life. Which I definitely didn’t want to say. There would be nothing better than having a cute, sometimes clingy but always loving squirrel roaming around the apartment. Since I wanted to give him a bit space I walked to the entrance to talk to bf/n. Maybe she could help me a bit. As she saw me walking towards her, she already knew that something was wrong with me since she instantly pulled me into a hug when I arrived at the desk next to her.

“Did you two fight?”, she asked and I shook my head.

“Then what is it? You can tell me”

I told her what had happened and explained what the situation was. She couldn’t believe that I had been that stupid and didn’t get his message.

“Not to sound rude but you were dumb. That boy had been asking for you every day since you left the shelter a few weeks ago. He is so in love with you. He has been talking about you nonstop. He must feel hurt right now since you didn’t get his message or because he misunderstood. You should go to him regardless him needing space right now. If he hears your explanation he will understand. I’m sure”, she told me and softly pat my shoulder trying to cheer me up.

“You’re right. I should go and see how he is doing.”

“I’ll be right here if you need me.”, she said and smiled before I walked away and back to Jisungs room.

His door was slightly open, almost as if he had been hoping for me to join him. I knocked on the door.

“Hannie, it’s me. Can I come in?”

“It’s Jisung!”, he answered, almost sounding angry.

I was shocked by his words and didn’t know what to do. Maybe it really was better to leave him alone for now until he had calmed down again.

“I guess I should go then. Sorry”, I mumbled almost not noticeable and walked back to the entrance.

As bf/n saw me she frowned. I just shrugged, waved at her and made my way back out onto the street walking towards the bus station to get back home. Almost arriving at the bus station I got a call from bf/n.

“Hey. What’s up?”, I asked confused since she had just seen me a few minutes ago.

“It’s Jisung. He ran after you”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE RAN AFTER ME?”

“He came to the front desk a few minutes after you left and asked where you went. And I might have said that you went to the bus station and he might have instantly took off and even though I ran after him I lost sight of him. That little fucker is just too quick”

Hearing her words I almost instantly started to panic. Hearing that Jisung had left the shelter wasn’t really shocking but the fact that he did it alone meaning that there would be a possibility of people trying to maybe get a hang of a rare hybrid right now. And I really wanted him to be safe.

“Did you explain where the bus station is?”, I asked already looking around maybe already spotting the squirrel somewhere.

“I tried but before I could finish he already ran out. I would have gone with him if he just waited and didn’t instantly take off.”

I heard in her voice that she was already panicking. I started to walk around the bus station trying to maybe find him somewhere near.

“Where are you right now?”, I asked through the phone.

“I’m at the market. I lost track of him just before I called you. We really need to find him. But you should stay at the station. Maybe he might really find you”

“ARE YOU NUTS? I’m not going to just wait here and maybe never see him again. Stay on the phone. I’ll go search for him now.”

I heard her sigh on the other side of the line but since she didn’t answer I knew that she knew that I was right. The risk of losing him was higher than ever and I wasn’t going to risk that. I began to walk back trying to figure out where he might have gone on the way. It was already starting to get dark and I was about to lose hope to find him when someone crashed into me and instantly clung to me.

“Don’t leave! Please!”, I heard him begging and a huge stone fell from my shoulders when I heard his voice.

“He is with me.”, I said over the phone.

“Oh thank god! Please get him back here safe. He’s gonna get the biggest scolding of his life. Just wait until I see him again”

I had to laugh at her words. We ended the call and I put my phone away turning my head to the squirrel clinging to me as if his life depended on it.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? DO YOU KNOW WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU OUT HERE? YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL”

Jisung looked at me with big eyes, shocked that I was almost screaming at him. He kept his head low and just listened to what I had to say.

“We could have lost you. GODDAMN SOMEONE COULD HAVE JUST KIDNAPPED YOU AND WE WOULD NEVER KNOW. NEVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN”

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let you go with you being mad at me”, he said in a small voice almost starting to cry.

I sighed and pulled him into a hug.

“I’m not mad at you. I just wanted to give you some space to let you think. I’m so glad that you are ok”, I mumbled against his neck as I hugged him tight.

He stayed silent and hugged me back even tighter. We separated from the hug and I took his hand.

“Let’s head back to the shelter. Don’t let go of my hand or I might lose you again and I don’t want that. Understood?”

He nodded obedient. We walked back to the shelter and it was already dark when we arrived there. Bf/n instantly walked towards us when we entered.

“Do you know how worried we were? You can’t just take off like that! You know exactly how dangerous it is for you especially to go outside alone. Be more responsible and think before you act. Do you understand me?”, she asked and looked at Jisung, who looked down at the floor again.

“I understand”, he said in a tiny voice and I squeezed his hand to show him that everything was ok now.

“I would have gone with you if you would have just waited a bit longer. Next time just be a bit more patient, alright?”

“Ok. I’m sorry”, Jisung apologized and looked back up at her.

After talking a bit more we walked back to Jisungs room. He sat down on his bed still looking like a scolded puppy. I sat down next to him and he instantly turned to me.

“Are you still mad?”, he asked.

“Jisung. I was never mad at you. How could I ever be mad at you, huh?”, I said and reached out to pet his head.

“You know…when I said that I was going to rearrange my spare room I didn’t mean to reject you. I actually didn’t even understand what you wanted. To be honest I would be really happy to have you around at all times of the day.”, I confessed and watched Jisungs sad face turn into a huge smile.

“Really?”, he asked, his eyes sparkling and almost watering from excitement.

“Yes, really”

As soon as these words left my lips Jisung already hugged me. So tight that I almost couldn’t breath anymore.

“Thank you.”, he mumbled quietly and shortly after that I heard quiet sniffling.

As I looked at Jisung he was crying.

“Hey. Don’t cry”, I whispered and stroked his cheek, wiping away his tears.

“I’m just so happy”, he cried and smiled at me.

How could he get any cuter?

Next part

[hyunlixsung]

Drabble Me This

Hey guys I’ve decided to do a Drabble game! My best friend helped me make this list! @himekute Love you bestie!

-One person = one number

-70 numbers available!

-Mainly stray kids but can do side characters from other groups in the Drabble

-You may request a time stamp along with your number 

1-“All it took was one look into those eyes and I knew that was the last time I'd be at home for a while." - girl of protective parents runs away/breaks rules for rebel bf

2-“Why is there a duckling floating in the bathtub?" - girl rescues a duckling from side of the road and brings in home. Bf discovers it and they become duck parents.

3-“I remember this feeling. It feels like home." cuddly bf attached to gf hip. Touching her one way or another - backhugs, holds hand, hand in back pocket, arm around hip.

4-“We didn't know when we'd see each other again." Spontaneous kissing. Passionate. Hands through hair. Picks up and pushes against the wall. Sits on counter tops. Nuzzling. Lip biting and bruising.

5-“Do you trust me?"

6-“You don't have to do this. I can change. I'll be better."

7-“When I hear forever, I see their face smiling back at me."

“8-“I didn’t mean to kill her.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m dead!”

“Her voice is still so energetic”

9-“Are we lost?”

“No?????”

“That sounded reassuring”

10-“I don’t really think before I act. It’s part of my charm”

11-“Excuse me? Are you telling me what to do?....thank goodness I have NO idea what I’m doing.”

12-“I'm dying."

"No you're just hungry." (Not looking at them. Looking at tv)

(Lays body across their legs) "I'm not gonna make it."

13-“You have three seconds before I start screaming."

"Listen I-"

"One"

"You don't understand-"

"Two"

"You see the thing is-"

"Three"

SCREECHES

14-“Don’t worry nobody is expecting much. Just be you...actually be you but like less...you.”

“Was that supposed to be a pep talk?”

15-“You couldn’t handle me if I came with instructions”

16-“Oh bite me” I rolled my eyes. I failed to notice his smirk. “With pleasure darling”

17-“When I’m done with you, you’re back is gonna be four different shades of red”

“Not if you can’t catch me”

18-“Take your things and go!...what are you DOING?! Put me down!”

“You said take my things and go!”

19-“Talk dirty to me."

"It's your turn to do the dishes tonight."

"That's not what I meant."

"You broke our dishwasher trying to clean your crocs."

20-“When I say who's cute, you say me!"

"Who's cute?" "Me"

"Who's cute?" "You"

"Who's cute?" "Us"

"This is why I love you"

21-“Iwon’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me”

“You’re the reason im injured!”

“How was I supposed to know you would be dancing around the house mopping and that you would be very jumpy???”

22-“We gotta go NOW!”

“Why WHERES the fire?”

“Listen idk if you wanna deal with them but I’m not in the mood to have purple marks all over my neck!”

23-“Yeah you think you’re tough! Come AT me!”

“This I was a TERRIBLE IDEA!”

24-“This has got to be one of your dumbest ideas you've ever thought of."

"Relax babe." [Wears goggles while chopping onions] "see no tears."

"Did you just cut yourself?"

"I think we need to go to the ER"

25-“What’s the plan?”

“You had a plan?”

“YOU were supposed to have the plan!”

“well I didn’t!”

26-“Hey so I was wondering..."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you just found your next meal."

"Because I just did." Smirks

27-“You’re in trouble now baby.”

“Is is it too late to kiss it better?”

28-“I’m gonna show everyone who you belong to. You’re mine!”

29-“This is a terrible idea.”

“Do you wnat to go home?”

“Hell no! This is the most fun I’ve had in years!”

30-“I know this isn’t the way you wanted your life to turn out, but is that really such a bad thing?”

31-“You know when you said 'let's make tonight fun' being hunted like deer in the back alleys wasnt exactly what I had in mind."

32-“You were about to spend the night reorganizing your spice cabinet."

"I don't need to be attacked like this right now."

33-“I’m cold, I’m

Tired, and I’m going to lose it if I don’t have cuddles and coffee in the next three minutes”

34-“How fast are you?”

“I compete with tiger”

“You mean A tiger?”

“No I mean tiger....my cousin’s rabbit”

35-“If they catch us were dead!”

36 “If I get one more jump scare I’m pulling this car over!”

“Umm THERES A WOLF ON OUR ROOF!”

37-“ Remind me again why I'm doing this."

"Because you love me."

38-“ Out of my way my baby is hurt!”

“39-“I’m not gonna ask again. You stay away from MY girl or I’ll rip You to shreds!”

40-“Your lips look cold can I warm them up?”

....”is that your way of asking for a kiss?”

“Listen linda I’ve been wanting to do this for MONTHS now just let me be smooth for once-“

41-“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Make yourself useful and kiss me.”

42-“So tell me whatcha want, whatcha really want."

"I'll tell ya what i want, what i really really want.

I want to kiss you (or i want to marry you or i want you to be mine)."

43-“Hey babe."

"Yeah?"

"We're out of sugar."

"I'll add it to the grocery list lat-"

Kisses her lips

"Don't worry about it. I got some."

44-“Why do we have 50,000 pillows on the bed. We only need two."

"Listen, when the dust bunny soliders bust into our home we won't be sitting ducks. You'll thank me later."

45-“How many lives need to be ruined before you admit here’s a problem?”

46-“Just because you can see a use doesn’t make something useless!”

47-“I never asked you to save me. And I definitely didn’t ask for the rest of this.”

48-“Stop shutting me out and talk to me for once. PLEASE."

49-“Everybody makes mistakes.”

“Not everyone makes the same mistake three times!”

50-“Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times shame on you again for taking advantage of my good nature!”

51-“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the wya they look at you, whisper and chatter when you appear. They think you’re going to rescue them.”

52-“Run away if you want, but know who you are leaving behind and the risk you are taking. They may not be so patient.”

53-“I told you this all those months ago when we first met. I'll say it again. I'm not who you think I am."

54-“Don’t act like you know me. You don’t KNOW me”

“Yes I do!”

“What’s my favorite color then??”

“Easy blue!”

“...that doesn’t prove anything.”

55-“DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED TO BE SAVED?? AM I BROKEN TO YOU??"

"No that's not it."

"What is is then?!?!"

"I love you."

56-“I love you on the outside.”

“Wow that makes me feel SOOOO much better”

“Now let me love you on the inside.”

57-“I already said 'I love you'."

"I know."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you to say it to me again and mean it this time."

58-“I love you”

“...what did you say?”

“Umm I said you cute?” 

“Say it again.” 

“You cute.” Gets close to her face “say it again”

59-“Can you do something for me?" 

“Anything for you baby." 

“I want you to kiss me. And not just the sweet little short kisses we give each other. I need those long, hot, passionate deep kisses that'll leave me breathless. I need you to hold me close to your chest and make it feel like you'll never let me go. I need you to-”

60-“When I saw his face, I could see our entire future together. But when I looked into her eyes, all I could see were galaxies and possibilities."

61-“Are you new here? I don't think I've ever seen you before." 

"Yeah, we've only met in your dreams. You're even more beautiful in person."

62-“DONT cover your marks. I want people to know you’re not for sale.” 

“...so I’m an object?” 

“No! Never! Sorry that came out wrong. But you are mine and I’d like people to keep their hands off.”

63-“(member full name)” “Yes (member last name) (y/f/n)?”” We aren’t married?” “Not yet babe”

64-“nope no kids!” “Why not :(((?” “I have to look after YOU!���

65. "Hey baaabe..." 

“Yeeeaaah???" 

“You never said we were expecting company." 

"I never said what-" pauses and stands protectively in front of them. In a deep voice and darkened eyes "What are you doing here?"

66-“okay this is going to seem absolutely crazy but I need you to run!” 

“You want me to RUN?? I’m sorry running is a SIN!” 

“It’s either that or be eaten take your pick.”

 “If I choose eaten does that make me a snack or a meal?”

67-“oh please I bet you can’t even kiss a girl sweetly . All you know how to do is be rough.” 

Slams hands on desk. “But you like it rough don’t you? I can see it. But that’ll have to wait for another time.”

 Scoff. “Another time? Like you’re gonna get a first time-“

68. "Why did I ever trust you!?!?" 

"Baby, don't say things like that! You can trust me!!" 

"YOU ATE THE LAST SLICE OF BANANA BREAD WHEN I PUT A SPECIAL STICKY NOTE ON IT." 

"I'm sorry 😭😭"

 "No this marriage is over." 

"We aren't married.”

 "You're right we aren't now."

69. "Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't think about me. Don't *shaky breath* just *voice breaks* don't."

 "Love, let me explain. That wasn't me." 

"It wasn't you?? If it wasn't you, then who was it???? Hmm!" 

"My twin."

70. "Hey! Do me a favor will ya?"

“Yeah sure what do you - is that, why is there blood on your shirt?

“Kiss me.”

“W h a t?”

Kisses and pulls back after people pass them.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah sure whatever...blushes

[barbika1508]

Support (Kim Taehyung x Reader)

Words: 3,1K

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: One-shot / Mentions of smut / Fluff

Authors note: BF/N means Best friends name, also H/BF/N means her best friend name...I know its kinda confusing, my baddd!!!! XD

Reader’s P.O.V.

‘’So, I just spent around 200 dollars.’’ I speak up staring at the screen before me for a moment still not believing I pressed okay on the button, which proceeded the payment. The laptop on my lap remains humming, while the show on the TV goes on. I mean I’ve saved up money for this, took me some time and extra shifts but now as proud as I am and exited I’m still regretting the amount of money that I’ve spent. Looking at my hands that hover over the keyboards I pull them back under my armpits as I scrunch my nose up.

‘’Oh, wow you really did.’’ BF/N says leaning into my side, the side of his head, pressed against my left arm ‘’That is a lot of money.’’ He adds. I feel his gaze on me to which I shift sliding my hands into the pockets of Taehyung’s hoodie that I’m wearing.

‘’Its support?!’’ I ask more than reply, but he’s straightening up nodding his head quickly in agreement, his phone that he has been glued onto for the last half an hour forgotten momentarily. Sitting up he readjust his legs on the coffee table before us. we’re settled in my tiny living room; the plan was to watch a movie but it ended up falling apart he started to text with his girlfriend.

‘’Like…’’ he starts and leans into me again but this time his head over my shoulder ‘’Me.’’ he finishes and raises his phone right in front of my face.

‘’Bro nice.’’ I state impressed as I see his purchase of Wings on the screen ‘’Only wings?’’

‘’Most beautiful moment in my life, both versions. Sick albums. That are not really albums…’’ he trails off lowering his phone as I glance at the screen of my laptop again, as it finally stops to process and confirms my purchase.

‘’Mini albums.’’ I add both of us nodding.

‘’Yes whatever.’’ he waves his hand and raises another finger ‘’I got War of Hormone, You never walk alone, but I gotta wait for my next paycheck for Her. seriously your boyfriend is going to run me dry.’’ He complains making me chuckle.

‘’Yes, well same.’’ I reply checking the arrival date.

‘’Doesn’t he like…give you they’re stuff though?’’ he asks making me pause and look at his curious expression.

‘’I…I never asked.’’ I reply honestly my gaze trailing off as he straightens up.

‘’How the hell didn’t you ask? Dude I mean you could get the albums signed!!!’’ he exclaims ‘’And then get me they’re signatures and stuff!!’’ he rambles on making me smirk as I look at him.

‘’Oh, I see how it is.’’

‘’Hey!!!’’ he snaps ‘’Its not what it looks like!’’ he warns, pointing his finger up trying to make his point by being dramatic.

‘’Oh sure, sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.’’ I reply sarcastically and shout as he’s suddenly hitting me with a pillow ‘’Heyy!!!’’ I shout.

‘’I’m not lying!’’ he keeps hitting me, while I try to put my laptop away.

‘’Stop hitting me!’’ I end up laughing instead.

‘’Stop calling me a liar!’’

‘’Well I ain’t calling you a tr…’’

‘’I’m so pure and honest!’’ he interrupts me in a bear hug just as I manage to place the laptop onto the coffee table. He presses himself over my back and as I’m half leaning forward, his surprise jump makes me double down onto the ground both of us crashing.

‘’Oh sure.’’ I groan as he half lies on me.

‘’Tell me I’m honest!’’ he warns caging me in.

‘’No.’’

‘’Say it! Say it out loud!’’ but by this point we’re both laughing instead ‘’C’mon Y/N! you’re getting me they’re autographs!’’

‘’Who says that?!’’ I tease back as he finally sits up and helps me up as well.

‘’You as my best friend are supposed to be by my side, support me in all my nonsense, and get me my autographs.’’ He ends up blinking his eyes as if he’s going to appeal to me like this. snorting, I pushing myself into the couch again, still not over the fall.

‘’Sure, sure. I’ll do my best.’’

‘’I know. I’m the best.’’ He cheers standing up.

‘’I’m the one getting the autographs.’’

‘’You’re welcome!’’ he cheers waling into the kitchen.

‘’You didn’t do anything!!!!!’’ I shout after him grinning.

‘’I’m the best yes, I know!!!’’

‘’Jerk!!!!’’

*A month later*

Taehyung P.O.V.

‘’Jagi?’’ I call out puzzled.

‘’Hm?’’ she hums back not lifting her eyes from her laptop, her fingers remain working over the keys of the keyboards typing away.

‘’This is new.’’ I point out now looking at her ‘’Where did you get these from?’’

After a moment, she looks up at me and at the CD’s I’m pointing at. Our CD’s to be exact. The small space on her table she had free and meant for only important things she needs, is now filled with all of our CD’s we’ve ever made. Stacked in perfect order. There’s two cartoon figurines holding them on each side. Namjoon got them for her, and they fit on the empty and minimalistic looking table. She has a simple basic blue lamp, a black pencil case, stack of notebooks in the corner, and usually her laptop is on the center of the table. But seeing the CDs warms my heart. Her desk is the only thing organized in her room and so bare, she’s usually very colorful with things like I am.

‘’Oh those…bought them like some time ago.’’ She says looking back down at the laptop while I blink confused for a moment tilting my head to the side as I stare at her.

‘’Bought? Where?’’ I go on, approaching the bed now, meanwhile I unzip the jacket I’m wearing. Reaching the end of the bed I slide it off, to which she now looks up her eyes momentarily freezing over my chest before she looks at me. I bite away a smile as she hums high pitched and bites her lower lip. I’m wearing the Ramones shirt she got for me. I noticed her eyeing me, one day when I wore another bands shirt, and jeans with sneakers. I think I have a hunch that these types of clothes on me gets her…excited. So, I wanted to test the theory.

‘’Umm the big hit store online.’’ She says her voice breathy as she speaks before she clears her throat and half glares at me ‘’I wanted to have physical copies for road trips.’’ She adds on, as we stare at each other and I pretend to have struggles with pulling my phone from my pocket. Her eyes follow the movement when I tug the shirt slightly up to reveal my stomach for a moment.

‘’You could have just asked for those! We have them at the company plus you’d get them personally signed by all of us, aish jagiiiiii…’’ I sigh crawling onto the bed, and over to her. Her eyes don’t leave mine even for a second, except for a moment lingering on my body before they snap up again. I drop down next to her, burying my face into the sheets, one arm slung around her waist, the other sprawled over the bed.

‘’Its fine. You can buy me food to repay the money. Which I spent with no trouble at all…’’ she goes on making me chuckle as I look at her and watch as she closes the laptop turning away placing it onto the night table. I take the chance to crawl between her legs, and lie my head onto her stomach as I place my arms at her sides, and happily settle.

‘’Throwing away money, unnecessarily…’’ I grumble half-heartedly, as she chuckles. I feel her fingers run through my hair, making me groan in delight out loud, as she continues with her ministrations soon with both hands, her nails slightly scraping against scalp. And it’s an amazing feeling which sends shivers to run through my body.

‘’It’s not unnecessary because it’s you.’’ She replies making my blood boil, and heart sky rocket. Because that’s one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said it to me like that. So, I raise my head up, resting my chin on her stomach only touching it as I stare up at her. She looks amazing as ever, with messy hair, bare face a genuine smile meant for me. Despite all the cuteness blood starts to run down south because of the view before me.

I’ve never had a girl giving me a look that she’s giving me right now; I mean the fans gave me all sorts of loving looks of course, but I know 100% that the girl right here, means it is genuinely. Her hand lowers down, her fingers gently brush past my cheek, until she runs her fingers through the front of my hair, brushing it to the side, before it slides to the back of my skull. She has a small fond smile on, her eyes trailing from my hair, down to my lips and back to my eyes. And I can’t help but to just stare at her, wordlessly trying to talk myself into doing something.

Damn she is so beautiful. I’ve never imagined myself falling for a foreigner. A girl so un-Korean. She doesn’t resemble anyone that I have ever liked. It surprised…I surprised myself with it. How quickly it took me to realize the fact that I like her. Her confusion at simple things we were taught since birth, some words she still to this day messes up because Korean is only her third language. But it’s still impressive enough that she learned it.

And there is the fact that she doesn’t resemble any girl from here. From the way her eyes are shaped, her face, her natural hair she doesn’t bother to ruin or even the fact that she doesn’t bother with reaching any kinds of beauty standards because she is content with the way she is. Of course, she complains about losing weight, like we all do but to me she is perfect the way she is. I ignore the slight shudder and things happening in my lower region by the mere thought of her body.

I growl to myself and raise up carefully lifting my body above hers as I hold myself up and crawl higher and higher. I notice her smile falters slightly, but another one replaces it. A mischievous one, as her hands fall down from my hair, but quickly wrap themselves around my neck when I’m hovering close to her. I also notice her legs falling open, wider.

Without any words, she’s the one sliding down and pulling me into a kiss. Which I eagerly return back. I’m still rather inexperienced in this area, but I know enough basics. Which only excites me even more when she lets out a sweet moan that makes more blood rush from my head, leaving me with a blank mind.

I feel her tongue slide over my lower, lip and for a moment I don’t know what to do, so I just let her take control. She slides her tongue into my mouth, the battle for dominance beginning. Her legs wrap around my lower back, and I’m now lying down pressing my crotch into hers creating some bit of friction. But it’s nowhere near enough.

She’s the one breaking the kiss, and grins up at me as I stare down at her breathless. She giggles adorably making me smile but my eyes trail down the expanse over her exposed neck. Her hand is then suddenly under my chin, and she tugs my head upwards making me look at her lips for a second before I look her in the eyes.

‘’Not happening.’’ She whispers leaning up to kiss me again. But in the moment of confusion I’m suddenly being flipped over. I let out a shout, my back hitting the bed. I blink up at the girl that’s giggling adorably and settles herself on my crotch making me groan, as she rubs me in the right way, yet she’s shuffling upwards instead making me whine at the loss of friction.

‘’So, eager.’’ She coos affectionately and leans over, holding herself up at too much of a distance.

‘’Stop teasing jagi.’’ I pout making her chuckle as she drops down onto her elbows, her hair surrounding her face, and tickles even me to which she chuckles and pushes it away, it briefly staying to the side.

‘’I’m not, you started this.’’ She replies amused as I raise my hands up to rest them on her hips ‘’You know, I love the fact that you took the initiative…’’ she grins widely as I blush bright pink, and look away embarrassed now that she’s vocalizing it ‘’Don’t be shy now…’’ she breaths and I feel her nose and lips trail faintly over and up my neck which makes me whimper quietly as I grip onto her hips tighter. It only makes her giggle again, so I turn to her, our faces only inches from each other ‘’We can’t do this now though.’’ She states grinning widely, one hand coming up to cup my cheek while she rubs her nose against my own.

‘’Why not? You don’t want me?!!’’ I furrow my brows fear replacing every emotion. Rejection, I’m still ready and completely terrified of it. She kisses me hard suddenly, catching me completely off guard. Enough to make me forget what’s my name in the moment. We haven’t shared a kiss like this yet.

‘’Does that answer your question?’’ she says with a low tone, and I bite my lower lip when she slides her crotch over my own, rotating her hips as she rubs into me making me let out a shaky breath.

‘’Then why not?’’ I ask letting go of her to cup her cheeks as she raises up and I eagerly immediately follow after her.

‘’I um…’’ she starts her hands cupping my own as she lowers them down, but she doesn’t back away when I interlace our fingers together ‘’My first time was with my first ever serious boyfriend…’’ She starts to which I look at her intently ‘’It was nice he took care of me.’’ a blush starts to raise on her cheeks ‘’So I kinda um…’’ she looks down between us to which I now smile at how adorable she is when she’s shy ‘’I want to make it good for you too.’’ She intakes a breath and looks up at me determined. I look at her surprised, at the confession and the hesitance.

‘’Oh jagi…’’ I whisper leaning up and kiss her again. She moans silently into the kiss, as I gather courage to slip my hands out of hers and to her ass this time, as I press my crotch into her making her groan. Breaking the kiss, she rests her forehead against my own. So, I just stare at her parted lips ‘’You’re making it good for me all the time…you’re so good for me…I love you so much…’’ I admit my tone low, which makes her shiver, but she reconnects our lips together once more, this time eagerly.

‘’I NEED HELP!!’’ the door slams open, crashing into the wall. I jump at that, glancing past the girl in my arms, my arms wrapping around her in a protective manner. There’s her BF/F rushing across the room, his gaze fixated down at his iPad. I turn to Y/N that has her eyes closed, and she looks pissed of already. I notice her heavy breathing. I glance at the man, that lets himself fall right next to us, onto his stomach eyes still on the device.

‘’Are you, serious right now?’’ she asks in English. She’s glaring at him and if looks could kill…

‘’Yeah, I’m stuck this is important. How do you do that, that thing you do…the sick one…’’ he goes on turning his iPad towards us the screen showing a game that he’s been playing his character is near death. Meanwhile he stares at her with a completely neutral expression. I awkwardly shift, my boner still painfully present but uncomfortably, going down. Painfully too.

I look between the two, as my girlfriend looks like she’s ready to kill her BF/F who’s staying to my unfortune with her for a month more. And in her shoes, I would be the same; I would actually kill whoever would chockablock us like this.

Wordlessly she reaches down, her hand holding onto my shoulder while with her right hand, she types in a code which has her best friend nodding ‘’Now can you leave?’’ she asks leaning half onto me, while H/BF/N snorts the device playing sounds of victory while explosions are going off over the screen.

‘’You drunk?’’ he asks and sits up glancing around before he looks at her ‘’We have work to do!’’ he goes on making her groan and slump against me to which I smirk, ignoring the man that gets up but doesn’t give a hint of leaving. I run my hands up over her back soothingly.

‘’Don’t you see where in the middle of something?’’ she exclaims, while he walks back to us, holding her phone in hand.

‘’Eh, you’ll have plenty time later. We need to win this round and I can’t do it on my own!!!’’ He smiles at us and settles against the headboard getting her laptop, while I turn to her curiously as she pouts once she turns her attention onto me. She looks adorable.

‘’We’re not getting rid of him.’’ She switches to Korean ‘’Your room isn’t free I’m guessing.’’

At that I chuckle ‘’Who’s the impatient one now?’’ I tease her as she leans her forehead against my own making me grin widely.

‘’I’m not…’’ she grumbles a small smile finally coming to her lips ‘’I just want to take care of you…’’ she whispers moving her hips a tiny bit, which makes me shut my mouth tightly. She has the audacity to giggle at me.

‘’Please don’t.’’ H/BF/N states next to us and turns to her with a glare.

‘’You’re the one interrupting us!’’ she explodes.

‘’I killed the mood, the mood is killed!’’ he goes on.

‘’How do you know that…’’ and I’m just left there watching them speechless as they start to argue. So, I accept that tonight won’t be my night. But at least I got something confirmed; dressing in a style she likes definitely will turn her on. And that she’s the sweetest human being ever. And that I’m so fucking madly in love with her.

Copyright 2017© by barbika1508. All rights reserved.

[maguneedsalife]

Review time: ArtFX J Protagonist (Phantom Thief Ver.)!

(please excuse me while i scREAM!!!!!! REAL LOUD!!!!)

as usual, picture-heavy review under the cut!

Persona as a franchise means a lot to me, so I was of course extremely excited when Persona 5 finally came out overseas. My boyfriend and I marathoned the game together and beat it in just about a month (our roommate also bought the game and we had to race each other to avoid spoilers haha). What I didn't expect was for the game to completely, utterly charm me--the protagonist especially. I am the most weak for boys who can be equally sexy and cute, and Protag here hits that sweet spot dead on. So, ordering a figure of my best boy was inevitable. (technically, since my bf offered to go halfsies with me, he belongs to both of us--but he'll be living on my desk for now). When the release date was revealed to be my birthday I almost cried, haha... Anyway, let's get on to what you came here for, which is pictures of hot anime boytoys. (For the purposes of the review, I'm going to refer to him by his thief name, Joker, from here on.)

Here he is from the side! Those legs of his are really something....!!!!

You can see that he takes up quite a bit of space horizontally. Personally this is less than ideal, as I'm a little strapped for space at the moment--but the pose is so fun, I'm willing to make whatever room I can!

Here's how he looks from the back!

Lookin' cool, Joker!!

The way his coat billows out behind him is definitely one of the highlights of this figure. I can almost hear the sound of his footsteps amid Life Will Change now... The details on his coat are also very faithfully reproduced. Come to think of it, this is going to make great drawing reference in the future--it's hard to pick out details on a lot of the official art.

From a lower angle... the base's secret mask becomes visible! A very creative touch. It's hard to tell in this picture, but his butt is also... very nicely sculpted...

From the other side; possibly the least interesting angle.

Another side view. This figure has so much movement; its fun just to turn it around....

A closeup shot of his face... have you ever SEEN a man so beautiful??? It took me forever to get through the shoot for this review because I spent so much time just lying on the floor and admiring him..... His lower lip is a little too prominent for my taste, but it does follow the character designer's style. It's not too bad in certain lighting.

The paintwork on the mask is a little sloppy... but for the most part I'll be seeing it from a distance, so it doesn't bother me that much. I bought Joker from Amiami because I wasn't swayed by the Kotobukiya-exclusive parts (and I already had a September order going), but in hindsight I do kind of wish I had a calling card for him.

I can't remember why I took this picture actually.... but it's a good angle for him.

Close in, you can see that the details on his vest (vest?) were also very faithfully reproduced. I think it's meant to be a shirt, judging by the grey coloring on his wrists, but I usually draw it as a vest....

Akira "Legs for Days" Kurusu has some really very impressive legs.... He probably has the nicest legs of anyone in my collection.....

Closer in on those boots...! The paintwork on them really shines; they look just like polished leather. And those heels...!!! i almost want him to step on me...... In the above picture you can also see a couple of bits of leftover plastic; here's a detail shot so you can see what I mean:

They're only noticeable from some angles, and are probably easy to sand or snip off, but I felt it was important to point them out. Joker isn't my first Kotobukiya figure, but I've only had one other one to go on...

A closer look at his handgun. I noticed that he's been sculpted with his finger off the trigger; a+ gun safety there, Koto! Joker has a number of iconic accessories: the mask, calling card, gun, and dagger are probably the four that come to mind the fastest. I'm satisfied with the two they chose for the standard release, but I wouldn't mind having the calling card part too. though, considering I broke my P4 Protagonist's tarot card part not that long ago, maybe it's for the better that I got the regular version....

A closeup of his back! The seams of his coat are raised in relief as decorative piping. I also really like the strap in the back; very stylish.

Another detail I hadn't quite noticed in the game or the official art: the buttons on the far side of his coat! I don't know why I never noticed them before...

Here's a closer look at the base! The Phantom Thieves logo is faithfully reproduced, and the shattered-glass effect brings to mind the All-Out Attack animation. Plus, the stars in the background are meant to evoke the game's menus. I don't usually care much about bases, but this one is appropriately stylish for a game and character that ooze style.

Here's how the base looks from the back, with the hidden mask visible. The eyes are even hollow, just like the real thing! Like with May, Joker is also firmly anchored to the base with a screw. Is this something Koto does on a regular basis? It's going to make moving with him kind of a pain... While the base is certainly a highlight of the figure, it definitely has a downside. I don't know if this is a common problem on this figure, but my base doesn't quite sit flat on hard surfaces (or even carpet, like the one I was shooting on). It wobbles back and forth, which makes me a liiiittle nervous, since Joker is already putting a lot of weight forward. I might see if I can warm up the plastic a little and warp it back into shape.

Another close-up shot.... I just can't get enough of him, honestly! I was worried the final product would look too baby-faced, but he looks very handsome in person. Higher angles seem to be more flattering for him.

Alongside Shinjiro and Souji, we have The Holy Persona Boyfriend Trinity! I feel extremely blessed that figures exist for my main Persona crushes... now we just need Akechi Souji was my first scale figure, and at the time I thought he was impressively tall. He's since been dwarfed by every single scale I've bought since, and now he's even been out-legged by Joker. BUT! Souji still wins for looking like a Shigenori Soejima drawing walked off the page. (If I remember correctly, Soejima was the one who supervised GEM Souji in the first place....). Soejima's unique style is difficult to reproduce (see: every other Persona figure), so Joker here gets points for coming close. He's still very handsome!!

Maybe one day we'll get a nice scale Akechi to go with Joker, but for now I'll have to make due by balancing fan merch on him like a loser... (by the way, the cute Akechi charm is by K; here's her shop!)

This is actually kind of adorable..... maybe I'll hang more merch on Joker in the future....

AU where everything is the same except the Personas are the size of Pikachu

(By the way... I would kill for some Arsene merch right around now!!! I know a plastic model Arsene was just announced, and it looks amazing so far, but I want to decorate my purse with cute Arsene straps.... I have such a bad crush on him too haha. I'd also love to see cute little charms like the Izanagi one, but for the P5 crew... ah, I can dream.)

Anyway, that's enough delusions of grandeur.

Here's where I'm keeping him on my desk! Right within easy view of both me and my boyfriend, whose desk is kitty corner to mine. With a heavy heart, I had to relocate my Ren and Masato scales to storage to make room for Joker. ;-; Maybe someday soon I'll get a proper display case... Also--I didn't get pictures of it so you're going to have to take my word for it, but his box is probably the most stylish figure box I've ever seen. The box insert has the Phantom Thieves logo, along with the stars from the game's menu--and I would have used it as a backdrop for the review, except it's extremely (appropriately) busy. Not only that, the top of the box has a mask design like Joker's--and one eye is cut open to reveal a picture of the figure on the flap below it. This box is so neat that I actually didn't fold it up; I put the blister packaging back in and stuck it in my closet--so that's a testament to how cool that box is.

If my rambly fangirling wasn't enough to get the point across, Joker was worth every penny I spent on him. He adds a really dynamic presence to my collection, which I love (if you've read my reviews before, you know I never miss an opportunity to compare the sort of boring poses a lot of male figures get to the fun, interesting ones female figures get...). Joker has also brought to light the monkey's paw end of this scenario, which is that in exchange for a dynamic pose, he takes up way more space on my desk... whoops. Anyway, I definitely recommend this figure to fans of Persona 5--and I'm hoping that if this boy does well, we'll get more Persona 5 figures! Pls.... Atlus.... give us Akechi...... I'll take the most boring Akechi in the world if i have to.... I'll be looking forward to seeing more merch, especially with the anime coming next year... In particular I'm excited for figma Joker, who will be joining my collection in the spring. I'll have to try to pose him in the same pose as Koto's Joker just to compare. I'm also curious about Phat Company’s P5 protag announced at this year's summer WonFes. I wonder if they'll come up with a unique pose for him, or just go with the default... we'll have to see! Anyway, I think that just about wraps it up for this review. Tomorrow I'll likely (hopefully) be back with another review for the other item in my September AmiAmi order, figma Gwendolyn.  Oh, and to my Jewish followers: Shana Tova and G'mar Tov! And have an easy fast, if that's something you're participating in. (I'm not fasting, but I did go to services today...) The summer (summer?) of unending anime purchases continues...

[2slowgoers]

10.31.2019 - a not so spooky update

Hey W,

Long time no talk ;) (lol, JK of course!). I’m glad I get to see you soon. Never been in NYC with you before, I’m glad we get to spend a bit of it together, and explore together again. We don’t get a lot of chances to do that these days. On the topic of Halloween... you dressed up a ton this week! They were creative and solid costumes. IF you became a mom, I think you would have excellent + creative halloween costumes for the family. I never felt the presence fo Halloween as much as I did this year, maybe because I work for a bigger company, and I have established my social media spaces and am familiar with the people I follow, I quite admire the arts and craft that can go into costumes. Okay, that aside -

We did text a bit after your last post, and I feel like we touched on the important parts I wanted to ask about. TBH I just hope this to be a space we can vent and let it all out, no pressure to follow up or give each other advice. But rather a space just to listen to each other, I appreciate that. All I can say from reading a bit about your doubts around yourself and your long term relationship, I am just here by your side, waiting to see how things will or will not change in the next couple of years. This is that time of age where things will grow and change a lot! I called briefly with my friend J (in FL) and they are going through a bit of quarter life crisis, and a lot of the call was me reassuring them that it’s okay and that it’s okay to choose what it is that your heart wants. Like you said about your mom, we have all spent too much of our life following what others expect us to do, or shaping other people’s wants into our own. Since we’re still growing up and maturing, what we even “wanted” in high school and college, may not be what grown up and mature versions of ourselves want. I think this IS the time of our life we start learning to listen to ourselves, our inner voice that is maturing and growing up, and truly understanding what it is that we want. So I say, trust your gut. You know what you need, and you’ll know it when the time comes.

One quick thing before I dive into the topic of today - I have to say work is going better now that I have gone on vacation, and have had the time to get to know the new hires (people joined post-June). Most of them are around my age and we all get along really well. KBBQ last night was quite fun, and for once I found myself being able to be myself, and exhibit my sense of humor (something that not a lot of people get), and the people around me laughed and appreciated me for being who I am. That felt really nice. It’s a feeling I have dearly missed from not being around people who know me well. I liked being able to goof around (because that’s really who I am! It just takes a long time to show that side), and seeing other people goof off. I can say that even if I don’t want to be in tech and the industry can be draining, being around good people is so important, and especially with a lot of them in the same age range and many who are recent transplants, has created a team that is larger than just Berkeley grads lol. 

Topic I wanted to discuss today... When I was texting you earlier about my rooming situation and saying my ultimate fear is to be kicked out. Then I realized I have all these, you could say irrational fears, that I will 1) get fired 2) get kicked out 3) lose my job 4) lose all my savings/money 5) my friends hate me and will abandon me and just in general imagine the worst that could happen. I catch myself more often when I think these things and increasingly acknowledge it’s an irrational fear. I guess I wonder where all of this comes from - the fact that I get very “omg end of the world” and catastrophize easily. It’s definitely improved over the years, but I think it’s also from growing up with my mom. I see these traits in myself and in my brother too. We always imagine the worst, get anxious about it, then let the world know our anxious thoughts, and it spirals. I need to remind myself that no I am not going to be kicked out and no I am not going to be fired, my coworkers and team like me a lot and I do my job. I’m better at it now, so that’s cool.

This train of thought led me to something else though... you mentioned that I can take this opportunity to grow THICK SKIN. and you’re SO right. I have caught myself taking things too personally and being too sensitive to a lot of things, that are out of my control and have nothing to do with me. Like if a friend doesn’t reply fast, or they reply with a period at the end of the sentence, to what coworkers do or don’t do - I let it get to me, and when people joke, I respond seriously. Because I’m just so used to taking things seriously on the surface, even though deep down i love to joke, goof off, and not take things seriously.

For example, last night we were playing this game called “image game” where someone says image game and “who’s most likely to...” and then they count down and everyone in the group must point to the person they think are most likely to... and i don’t know exactly when but someone has to drink. Well, G (girl I sit next to work who I like a lot!) said “who’s most likely to quit their job and travel the world” - the people who know my plans pointed at me, but otherwise, the rest of the table was pointing at everyone else. Including G, who is someone i feel closer to now, pointed to someone else. G pointed to this other girl, and said “you because you moved to the bay area for absolutely no reason but just to come here”. deep down, i was like “but that’s me too! that’s me!” And for some reason, I took this whole thing so personally, and I was mildly bothered and thinking about it for the rest of the night. Why did not everyone point at me? How can this dream of mine that I’ve been thinking about since I was 20 years old, not be obvious? How can the world not know?! I do everything I do to follow this dream WHY DONT PEOPLE KNOW! <-- the question and capitalization is for dramatic effect, I wasn’t actually freaking out. But obviously I was thinking, like duh people won’t know what my dreams are because i NEVER talk about it. And duh, people probably think i’m super responsible and love my job because of the way i act at work and expect i am there to stay. SO, these thoughts just continued to stick around til this morning.

I decided to ask G to go to a room and talk personally because I wanted to follow up on this question. I provided context and asked her my main curiousity is “how do you perceive me?” “this is my lifelong dream and i am just curious how i come off as, that it wasn’t assumed to me” - she’s very nice and open and told me how she thought i was responsible, loved this job, and was here to stay. she just saw me as this super responsible type and not the kind to just leave like that. I also framed it in a way to be like “Ah yeah I want to blend in, I don’t want people to think I am on my way out” and she agrees that i am doing that fine, and she never expected that. Anyways... the GOOD part of this conversation was.. I told her “I’m literally here just to make money, pay off loans and save”. Then I asked “do you have any dreams you’d like to achieve?” And she was like “well I never told anyone at work this...” and then I quickly learned that she is here for the same reason I am, with a different goal in mind. she wants to go to nursing school - and she is here to save $ to pay off loans and save up to go. Even her bf, who is a dev, is also working a job and negotiated to anticipate to pay for her schooling. Then we were able to bond about how we both don’t want to be in tech in the long term, and how we don’t want to be in this job for the long term either, and we both kinda have to hold it in and cannot talk about what it is that we truly want to do. we could relate about our interview experiences and not being able to answer honestly the question to “where do you see yourself in 5 years”. And wow, that was a really nice conversation to have. To know that i am not alone in wanting to do something so badly, and to have to do something else in the interim, and we are desk neighbors! It’s funny actually, she’s by far been the best performing new hire IMO and i see a lot of similarities in myself and her. we do our jobs super well, and yet this is not where we want to be.

So that again, brings me to appreciate people who do work in the corporate world, at whatever point they need to for however long they need to. people are so much deeper than their work self. I especially appreciate the non-workaholics/people who don’t work all the time, because I see the life and dreams they get to live outside of work, and that’s just like a wholesome realization lol.

Alrighty, that’s me for today - see you soon!

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 77 - 83

DAY SEVENTY-SEVEN

9:00 AM - I arrive at work ready to take my day on. I pour myself a glass of iced toddy and slather some Earth Balance on a piece of toast.

10:30 AM - I attempt to resubmit my $125 check to #NOTSIMPLE now that I have my name correct in their internal system. I also PayPal my mom for my dad’s Father’s Day present. $30

11:00 AM - After doing some light math, I am still on budget for the month which is very relieving after spending so much last week on my health (and those Kobes).

12:00 PM - I’m super hungry, so my colleague and I run to Sprouts. I get a veggie sandwich and pick up a bag of BBQ chips but my colleague says she has a bag at her desk and they keep making her stomach hurt so she offers me the rest. I put back my bag and pay for my sandwich. $4.31

1:15 PM - #NOTSIMPLE notifies me that my check has been accepted and I should see the money appear in my account in one business day.

5:25 PM - I leave work. It’s 115 outside and I want to die.

7:00 PM - We grab Chipotle for dinner. Mine is pretty gross this time. $14.05

8:45 PM - My face really hurts from this sinus shit. I also realized that I forgot to make toddy earlier today, so I’ll probably stop at DD tomorrow on my way in. The high is 118 and there’s no way I’m drinking hot coffee in the morning.

9:30 PM - I read the sample of David Sedaris’s Theft By Finding which is actually just a compilation of his journal entries from 1977 - 2002. I love it and it totally feels like I’m inside of someone else’s brain. I’ll wait until the next time I have some moments to read to buy it. Trying to stretch that skrill.

10:30 PM - Bed.

DAY SEVENTY-SEVEN TOTAL: $48.36

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT 

8:30 AM - I had a really rough time sleeping last night. I woke up several times with vaginal issues. My pee was burning and it caused a ton of discomfort. I decided to take a regimen of my urinary tract meds in the middle of the night and sleep in the guest bedroom because the dog kept bothering me. At some point, I was able to fall back asleep and my symptoms subsided, but fuck this is going to be a rough end of the month. I try to maintain positive because I’m still within the three days of being allowed to have symptoms for the yeast infection.

8:50 AM - Stop for coffee at DD. I get a cold brew and I use my free beverage reward.

9:10 AM - I roll into the office and make a piece of toast. I am secretly thinking about working the rest of the day from home after this morning meeting because I am really not doing well.

12:00 PM - I stop by Thai Basil and grab an order of veggie red curry to go. $9.67

12:15 PM - Home. I feel like dogshit. I watch an episode of 60 Days In while I eat lunch.

2:15 PM - I haven’t worked yet, but I just need to do one report and relax. I try my best to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.

6:00 PM - Boyfriend is home from work. We hang for a while and then head to AZ Mills to play pinball at Tilt.

8:00 PM - We realize it’s “league night” which stresses both of us out so we play a couple games and peace out.

9:00 PM - We grab Del Taco for dinner. Boyfriend pays.

10:30 PM - In bed. Really tired.

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT TOTAL: $9.67

DAY SEVENTY-NINE

5:15 AM - The dog won’t stop barking.

5:45 AM - I get up for the fifth time and finally get the dog inside to crate her. I forgot she does this during summers.

7:00 AM - I finally fall back asleep.

9:00 AM - I stop at DD on the way to work because I still don’t have toddy. I get an iced coffee and put it on my rewards card. Still got about $6 left on it!

11:30 AM - My colleagues and I grab lunch at Morning Squeeze. $11.67

3:00 PM I spend most of my afternoon fighting with idiots on the internet. I moderate a vegan facebook page but not anymore. ;)

5:00 PM - I stop by my cousin’s office to run through an AdWords tutorial with her and her boyfriend. It’s always fun seeing them!

6:45 PM - I’m home! Boyfriend and I lounge on the couch for a while and finally end up running over to Tilt to play pinball. It’s a lot more chill tonight because there isn’t a league and the games are half off! We take turns playing Walking Dead and Metallica and leave when they close.

9:30 PM - I am so hungry. I haven’t eaten since Morning Squeeze, so we just decide to order JJ quickly. I pay. $17.99

10:45 PM - We go to bed. I finally sleep all night! Hallelujah!

DAY SEVENTY-NINE TOTAL: $29.66

DAY EIGHTY

9:00 AM - I arrive at work feeling amazing! I pull the grounds bag out of my toddy and pour a fresh glass with a slice of toast. When I sit down, I realize I forgot my phone at home. #Whoops 

1:00 PM - I run to Sprouts after my meeting. I’m really not feeling salad or a sandwich so I twist things up a bit. I find some frozen Gardein BBQ pockets and grab a bag of Kettle chips that are both on sale. Pretty stoked because this will last for two meals. $4.63 

1:15 PM - I need to remember to use the toaster oven for more than just toast. These pockets are amazing!

5:45 PM - I arrive home and watch some 60 Days In. My boyfriend is at the NBA draft right now, so I cherish the alone time to binge on a show he doesn’t like.

7:00 PM - Boyfriend picks me up and takes me to a romantic dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. For once, I don’t overeat and I decide that the place really isn’t half bad. BF pays.

8:00 PM - We arrive home and decide to take it super easy for the rest of the night. I fall asleep around 11.

DAY EIGHTY TOTAL: $4.63 

DAY EIGHTY-ONE

7:45 AM - Boyfriend wakes me up and leaves the house earlier than normal. I eventually roll out of bed, get ready and call an Uber to work. Today we’re team building after work which basically means we’re all getting blasted. $13.08

8:55 AM - I arrive at work, pour myself some toddy, and toast a slice of bread.

11:30 AM - We’re done for the day! We all pack into my boss’s car and head to Gordon Biersch in Gilbert. I order a plate of eclectic veggies and an Ace Pear Cider. Boss covers all of our lunches.

1:00 PM - We head to boss’s house and play with his VR gaming system. It’s really fun but I get motion sick super easy so I mostly watch while everyone else plays.

4:00 PM - We hitch an Uber to downtown Chandler and end up at San Tan Brewery. I get a flight which ends up being unfortunate because most of them are IPAs. It goes straight to my system and I’m definitely buzzed. $10.65

5:00 PM - We head to another bar called Brickyard. My boss subtly dips out while I’m in the bathroom, but my other two colleagues and I decide to keep going. I order a pineapple Pimm’s cup and a side of fries. Our server is also really cool and she gives me bar napkins so I can blow my nose. We take our time with our drink (Or at least I do. One of my colleagues pounds three cocktails.) and wait for my boyfriend to collect us after he’s done from work. $16.97

8:30 PM - I order us Jimmy Johns and cover it as a thank you to my boyfriend for picking us up. $17.99

9:00 PM - We’re about ready to lay down (I’m drunk, lol.) but our across the street neighbor comes over. He’s really distraught. His wife was bit by one of their five dogs and had to have surgery on her hand, and they decided that they need to rehome two of them. One is my dog’s mom and the other is her brother. We offer to come over and hang out with them tomorrow and to post on social media to help them find new homes.

9:30 PM - We are now really wound up and spend the next hour trying to wind back down. Our hearts are sad for our neighbors. I end up buying that David Sedaris diary book to help me zone out. $15.83

DAY EIGHTY-ONE TOTAL: $74.52

DAY EIGHTY-TWO

10:30 AM - I wake up feeling super tired. I guess this is what being super sensitive to alcohol feels like.

11:00 AM - We make our way to Cartel and Einstein’s. Boyfriend treats for both.

11:45 AM - We head to Target to get some miscellaneous stuff. When we arrive, I make a pit stop in the bathroom and instantly start feeling better. I am DJing this afternoon on a patio and it’s 114 degrees out. I buy a couple bins to create some insulation for my records so they don’t melt and a pack of ponytail holders. $16.34

12:15 PM - We then head to a Water and Ice store but they’re out of dry ice, so we head to Smart & Final and grab some from them. Boyfriend pays.

12:30 PM - We stop by Safeway and buy some flowers for our neighbor and a balloon. My boyfriend throws in a fidget spinner as well. He already has one, so why he needs two is beyond me. $23.51

1:00 PM - We stop by the neighbors and visit with them for a while. They’re super grateful for our help and we fight every bone in our body not to adopt Katy’s brother. We take some cute photos and let them know that we’re here for whatever they might need.

2:45 PM - While I pull records for my set and heat up some miscellaneous frozen food, my boyfriend starts to build the insulation bin for my records. It seems like it’s going to work really well!

4:15 PM - I’m out the door with a gallon of Gatorade and water as my records and I attempt to not melt.

5:00 PM - The event is super chill and so fun! They have an upcoming festival and ask me if I’d like to DJ in between bands but I can’t because it’s the same day that we have LCD Soundsystem tickets in LA. I don’t get paid, but I don’t really care. The house throws in a nice grapefruit wine spritzer.

8:30 PM - I’m all packed up and heading home. My boyfriend helps me unload and we head straight to AZ Mills for some pinball action. My game card is finally out of credits so I reload it. $30

10:00 PM - We’re starving. I treat us to Cornish Pasty. Our server is kind of out of it and forgets a bunch of stuff, so I tip 18% instead of my usual 20%. $30.17

11:00 PM - We fall asleep watching a Cold Case Files episode about the Zodiac Killer.

DAY EIGHTY-TWO TOTAL: $100.02

DAY EIGHTY-THREE

9:30 AM - I ask my boyfriend who the Zodiac Killer ended up being and he said the case is still cold. Damn! 

10:00 AM - I post a photo of the dogs on social media and cross my fingers someone bites.

10:30 AM - We head to Cartel and Einstein’s. Boyfriend treats coffee. I grab the bagels. $7.56

11:45 AM - We head back home. Boyfriend takes a nap while I catch up with my sister.

3:00 PM - We head to Ted’s hot dogs to grab lunch. Boyfriend treats.

3:40 PM - It’s too hot. We head home to lay low and let the sun set -- which basically consists of me shuffling back and forth from reading David Sedaris, playing Two Dots, and watching Cold Case Files.

9:00 PM - Usually on Sundays I end up baking something out of boredom, but it’s already late. I snacked on some Ritz crackers and a La Croix so I’m not super hungry either. If anything, I’ll just make some noochy noodles.

9:15 PM - Also some light commentary that so far I’m doing pretty good with this budget of $1500 per month. If I can stick to it, I’ll be saving roughly $1500 per month some of which goes to my future car and some which will go to my savings account and some will stay in my checking account for when I have to do something insane like buy a king size bed or an emergency flight to Chicago.

11:00 PM - I snack on a fig bar and a couple handfuls of veggie straws.

12:00 AM - Zzzz

DAY EIGHTY-THREE TOTAL: $7.56