#and better to both know sooner. vetsus NO leave mystery dont scare ppl with assumptions on what you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mejomonster · 2 years ago

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I need one of those guides that's like how to date as an adult with the presumption the reader knows Nothing not even like first grade asking out fake crushes info

#rant #i havent dated in years and im demi so i was never good at that shit anyway since itll take months or more to get a crush #i need a guide thats like Every single tiny step like idk #1 download x app or go to y public spaces #2 try looking for ppl with Z qualities #maybe make a list of Z compatible qualities first then look #3 message people with those qualiries THESE starter topics #4 try to go on an in person date soon by asking them #(or vice versa. talk for montjs before a date to see if u can even crush potentially which was a friends tip once)#5 at the date try to do X honest things and topics #remember to smile? or hug? some flirt suggestions if you dont know how and arent gping to kiss #6 what to say upfront (like idk im demi want no kids) versus what to not bring up immediately (idk?)#ive looked up advice for like individual numbers i just listed lmao #and the AMOUNT of full on conflicting advice!!! made me so anxious i had to stop #itd be like: YES say youre looking to date seriouslt for marriage cause other person may not want it #and better to both know sooner. vetsus NO leave mystery dont scare ppl with assumptions on what you #expect before u even know them! and its like???!! well a human simply CANNOT follow both of those advices at once #and id get anxious i couldnt follow ALL advice and cpuldnt guess which was right or wrong advice so id stress.#i will say generally good advice (tho very basic is): communicate honestly and more is better than less if unsure #have fun and be yourself cause you should enjoy it and if they like u then you want them to like the real you.#and look for red flags of cruel behavior (in which case LEAVE) and just general inxompatibility #(a person could be a great Friend but if theyre poly with 3 long term lovers and ur very much Not poly u should #probably JUST be friends. or if your friend is straight and ur gay. or ur crush wants to move to alaska soon #and u never ever wanna go there. just like. not bad things. just incompatible things)#but also im a little fool in the complexities and i still NEED lists for specific steps #i havent had a crush in years god -.-

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