#and be sure you're not dismissing or dehumanizing any of the real people

[princesssarcastia]

the way public discourse is profoundly failing both Palestinians and Israelis in turns isn't surprising, but it sure is a depressing refresher on the importance of refusing to dehumanize anyone. the importance of remembering that states are not moral actors; and that a nation's government is not its people, and often does not represent the will of its people.

i mean, shit, as an american, how fucked would i be if people in other countries tried to hold me responsible for the bloody things my government has done in my name? pretty goddamn fucked. so i should refuse to level that condemnation at anyone else.

so as we watch netanyahu call this terrorist attack israel's 9/11, and watch his administration gear up to carry out what might charitably be labeled ethnic cleansing, if not outright genocide, against people who had fuck all to do with it, in some twisted strongman show of force and revenge, in a continuation of the same violence that will only beget more violence as it always does...

i can only see the specters of the american wars in afghanistan and iraq. and i can refuse to condemn israeli people for the actions of their government. all while expressing grief and outrage at the atrocity hamas committed against israel. its truly fucking horrifying what they did, and what israeli people suffered.

and also, as someone whose government has a long, torrid history supporting right-wing dictatorships and leaders, to the detriment of those leaders' peoples and also, to the eventual detriment of americans...

as someone whose country literally lived through the frame of reference that netanyahu is using to contextualize what israel's government is about to do...

i can say firmly that israel's government, much like america's government, creates its own demons. this is what happens when you visit nothing but war and cruelty upon a group of people. this is the end result! this is always the end result of oppression and violence. you reap what you sow.

that doesn't justify what hamas did, or what it will continue to do in the coming days. but goddamn, if you spend decades taking away people's homes, taking away their opportunities for economic advancement, refusing them any meaningful participation in their own governance, penning them in with no resources and no hope, and then gunning them down in the streets when they try to protest it or otherwise acceptably fight for change and progress—

you will always end up where we are right now. always. if you leave a group of people with no other option within a system but to wait for better days and kinder enemies and suffer horrors in the meantime, some of them will inevitably radicalize and seek violent options outside that system.

and millions of Palestinian people are now going to suffer, and die, and become further displaced, as they have suffered for decades. because israel's government, like america's government, can't stop sowing the seeds that inevitably grow into its deadliest enemies.

so long as they continue to oppress palestinian people, things like this will continue to happen. which is why we should take every opportunity to condemn that oppression, and why i can refuse to condemn palestinian people for the actions of hamas. all while expressing grief and outrage at the atrocity the israeli government is committing against paelstine.

[inkskinned]

no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

[consoleyourself]

Getting kinda tired of seeing my Catholic&Christian friends on here reblogging posts about how all trans folks are predatory, grooming perverts and then following up with how sad it is that dysphoric people are being tricked into irreversible surgery to try and solve their problems.

I'm sure there *is* some minority of trans adults out there that are predatory....just like there is a minority of priests, parents, teachers, etc. thst are predatory.

But the implication seems to be that trans folks are both scheming perpetrators and naive victims. But there is no thought or consideration given in these posts to the genuine anguish and suffering that people feel from dysphoria. Do any of you know how that feels? Do you know how it feels to be struggling with these feelings and then see your friends make thinly veiled accusations that "dysphoria isn't real, and actually you are just a disgusting pervert"? Do you know how dehumanizing it is to look past the suffering people experience and make blanket generalizations about how they actually feel and why they do what they do?

I get it. You think transitioning is wrong. It hurts people. You want to bring that to light. You want to have someone to blame. You want people to avoid harming themselves in ways that can't be undone. It's a noble and good thing to want to help people avoid doing harm to themselves. But please. Stop dismissing their struggles as an 'evil fetish' or a result of manipulation by the 'evil left.' Please have a bit more compassion and consideration, especially for your side B friends that *aren't* acting on these feelings, but still struggling with them.

I know you're not bad people. I know you are my loving friends that only intentionally seek the good of others. I don't mean to be condescending. But you're not going to reach people, especially people in the midst of transition, or post transition, or considering transition by demonizing or infantilizing them. Even if those blanket statements were true, they're not particularly helpful. If you want to make a difference in a trans friend's life (side b or otherwise)....take a minute to talk to them. Ask them how they're feeling. Ask how you can pray for them. Remember that they are people and not a nameless talking point.

Thanks for reading through my rant. God bless.

Comments, reblogs, and criticisms welcome.