#and b.) it wont just be happy ever after now that they're living together even tho I wish it was that easy

[autistichanseo]

This is a long one !! sorry!! here's some true brothers angst thinking (with comfort at the end) for you guys though <33 (also read the tags after reading this if you do read this maybe cos I go on another mini ramble lmao)

Thinking about maybe when Hanseo and Vincenzo live together in Malta, since all Hanseo’s ever known is getting abused (both physically and verbally) and hurt over any mistake he made no matter how small, he automatically assumes Vincenzo will do the same to him (of course he would, that's what he “deserves”, right?).

So he tests the water with Vincenzo a bit.

To see what Vincenzo’s limits were, what to avoid doing to not get hurt, what the unspoken rules were (after all Hanseok had plenty).

It starts with small things, not tidying up after himself, breaking a plate “accidentally”, leaving milk out to spoil (also “accidentally”).

But Vincenzo doesn’t hurt him.

He helps Hanseo clean up the plate he dropped, checking to see for any possible injuries. He casually tells him to remember to put his things away when they’re all over one of the rooms. He only ever lightly scolds him (it was more a reminder than anything) in a light tone to make sure to not leave out the milk out next time for too long because it’ll spoil, but it was fine, that they could just ask a maid to add milk onto the grocery list.

It both confuses and scares Hanseo.

It meant he didn’t know what would set off Vincenzo, and he couldn’t handle the anxiousness that clawed at him whenever he was around him because of it.

Plus he was apart of the literal mafia, who knew what he and his mafia family (that also lived on the island) would do to Hanseo when angered?? He had seen first hand all of the various ways he toyed with Hanseok, and couldn't forget what Vincenzo had done to him before he joined his side, so who knew what methods he'd use when angered?? He needed to find out what to avoid, and fast.

Vincenzo starts noticing and asks if somethings wrong and why he's been avoiding him, to which Hanseo was terrified (and slightly relieved) that this was when the other shoe would drop and Vincenzo would shout at him or hit him.

But that never happened.

When Hanseo told him nothing was up, that he was struggling to sleep a bit lately so because of that he's just been a quite tired recently and out of it, Vincenzo seems to buy it and offered to get him a therapist, as after all it makes sense he’d be restless after everything that happened not too long ago in Korea. He ruffles his hair and leaves and Hanseo is just left shocked.

Why was he being so patient with him?? Hanseok would’ve hurt him at so many points in this test, why didn’t Vincenzo? (“Any other person would’ve by now right?”)

Was he toying with him? Making Hanseo more and more relaxed around him so that a real punishment would sting more and Hanseo would blame himself for it?

No, he shakes off that thought immediately. His hyung wouldn’t do something like that. It had to be something else.

He needs to know when the other shoe will drop. So he escalates things. Better to know now than fuck up later and have his hopes ruined.

So he keeps “forgetting” to go to his therapy appointments. He “tripped” and broke one of Vincenzo’s prized art pieces, he refuses to move his things or clean up after himself. He goes out to drink almost every day and comes home at like 3am, sometimes blasting loud music when Vincenzo's sleeping.

Anything. Anything for the second shoe to drop.

And eventually, Vincenzo can’t take it anymore, but it didn’t go as Hanseo expected it.

Vincenzo and him get in a huge argument, Hanseo’s refusing to listen (the shoe has to drop now right?) and Vin just exasperatedly like “why are you doing this?” but he isn't shouting at him or upset, just… concerned?

What??

Why wasn’t he mad??

As Vincenzo is asking him to explain why he was being like this Hanseo can’t bottle it up anymore and just bursts out with “because you won’t hurt me!!! why wont you hurt me??? just get it over with and scream at me for screwing up or slap me or anything! just do something so I'm not always anxious around you and... scared everything’s going to- I don’t know, straight up collapse at any moment or something!! just tell me what your rules are!!”

And that's when Vincenzo realises.

Oh.

His heart sinks. Because he now knows exactly why Hanseo’s doing this.

He’s trying to figure out what Vincenzo would hurt him for.

He thinks Vincenzo is going to hurt him eventually like Hanseok did.

Oh.

It takes Vincenzo a moment to process this and it's suddenly silent and Hanseo thinks this is when the other shoe has dropped.

He’s filled with fear once again, but this time it spills over any sort of relief he could’ve gotten at finally “finding out what Vincenzo’s limits were” because Hanseo can’t read Vincenzo’s face right now. He associates that unreadability with the unreadable expression Hanseok would have on his face before hurting Hanseo.

He's bracing himself to get shouted at or hurt so he goes back into Hanseok-mode and takes a step back, starting to cave in on himself as he's about to try to apologise and take back what he just said.

Thankfully, Vincenzo realises this and immediately snaps out of his head to reassure Hanseo. "Hanseo... I'm not going to hurt you... I was never planning on ever laying a hand on you. Ever. Nor was I planning to ever shout at you."

And Hanseo is just.

Stunned.

He doesn't know what to say so he's only responds with a meek "Why?"

For Vincenzo to be like "what Hanseok did to you wasn't normal or even okay in the first place, and you'll never get any of that horrible treatment from anyone again." (Vincenzo will make sure of that).

And Hanseo's just. speechless.

He can't figure out what to say or do so he's just there, starting to tear up like "hyung..."

Because this is when Hanseo realises that for the first time in his life, he's truly, truly safe now.

Because now he has a home, and he didn't just mean the island they lived on, but Vincenzo himself. Vincenzo was home to him, and he was more of a home to him than any fancy villa Hanseo had had before could've ever been.

Yeah, he'll be okay now.

After all, no matter what happens, he has his home to go back to.