#and b) impractical in the sense that what if i spend all that money and then i simply Don't Like It? sigh

[desperatepleasures]

I could technically EASILY use my tax return to buy that one handed ergonomic keyboard I'm obsessed with but I'm gonna try and force myself to Wait and see if it balances out my expenses the past 2mos...

[kantrips]

Alistair & Celia Headcanon Collection

Some Amell x Alistair (largely fluff) headcanons! Includes some from Origins, Warden time at Amaranthine and the Inquisition-era. Some of these I have had since my first playthrough, but others I may have read elsewhere, loved and thusly absorbed so please let me know if I can link anyone!

Origins

The first time they meet at Ostagar, Celia thinks Alistair is the most fascinating person she has ever encountered because no one in the Circle had a particularly boisterous sense of humour. Alistair is oblivious to her heart eyes, and also holds back because he’s worried she won’t survive the Joining.

Even after the Joining, Alistair tries very hard not to ~feel feelings~ despite the clear signals Celia is hurling at him because he assumes she won’t like him once she gets to know him more/she will get bored of him/ she will leave like everyone else i.e. the boy is hecking damaged.

Celia laughs obnoxiously hard at all Alistair’s jokes because a) she finds them unexpected, and b) because, like a dork, she wants to prove she gets the punch line. Alistair is perplexed by her reactions at first, and cautiously wonders if she is mocking him. Once he realises she is genuinely amused, it bolsters his ego significantly. 

Celia has no concept of personal space and sits and walks very close to everyone. There wasn’t a lot of room at the Circle so she forgets she can spread out. Morrigan makes it clear she needs to back off (Celia doesn’t need telling twice) but Alistair is more relaxed and gets used to it quickly after the confusion of the first night when she blithely sets up her bedroll right next to his. Alistair assumes she is a bit scared of sleeping in the forest but really she is just accustomed to the need to cram as many apprentice bunks into a room as possible.

In a way, Alistair is also used to sharing small spaces (Chantry and Wardens) so it doesn’t bother him at all when Celia chooses to sit pressed against his side, walks so their arms bump together, or unconsciously brushes an eyelash from his cheek. He quickly grows to like her overfamiliarity (for some reason…).

Similarly, Alistair eats Celia’s leftover food if she can’t finish it or doesn’t like it, even before they’re a couple. She just offers one day and after that it becomes a given. The others side-eye them but they are happily oblivious.   

Celia gets in trouble from the rest of the party for getting distracted yelling encouragement and cheering Alistair during combat. In turn, Alistair gets in trouble for turning around mid-battle to thank her when she buffs or heals him. Morrigan advises that if they are both so determined to get killed, she is more than happy to assist with hastening the process.

Celia’s mabari, Trevor, is quickly accepting of Alistair and his proximity to Celia because he observes Alistair protecting Celia in battle and thusly deems him to be a ‘good dog’ and considers that they are equals in the pack.

Alistair and Celia vandalise each other’s wanted posters whenever they come across them. It gets competitive.

Celia doesn’t really want to be in charge of saving the world but has three things working in her favour: 1) she absolutely hates letting people down 2) has an intense need to finish what she starts 3) she is in possession of a bossy streak.

That said she spends the entire Blight screaming internally to an extent not even Alistair fully grasps.

They go to the Circle Tower first, because Celia thinks she will have the best chance of getting help from people she knows and is also ‘homesick’ in the sense that she is very glad to be free of the place, but stressed enough with everything going on to crave something familiar even if she resents it. The events there devastate her. Along with the loss of friends and mentors she has known since childhood, being trapped by herself in the fade particularly terrifies her as she has never truly been alone for so long before in her life. It reminds her of the Harowing which totally blindsided her. She is very teary, untalkative and introspective for some time afterwards, but both Trevor and Alistair have the correct instinct to stay close without trying to interact with her which she finds incredibly comforting.

Accustomed to making potions, Celia will not under any circumstances deviate from a recipe while cooking, whereas Alistair just chucks everything in to use up leftovers and see what happens. Alistair gets meals together super quickly whereas Celia takes forever. A little unfairly, Celia is perceived as the better cook because she produces very consistent meals, while Alistair’s experiments sometimes do work, and sometimes don’t, with people tending to focus on the disasters rather than the successes. Meanwhile Celia is rather: “should I add half a sprig of rosemary? No I mustn’t: it would be far too daring!” so everyone learns to tip their own seasonings into their bowl before even tasting her food.

When they’re travelling and walking for days on end, Alistair and Celia make up a lot of games in the vein of ‘I spy’ and ‘would you rather?’ They can occasionally persuade others to participate though no one enjoys them or gets quite as invested as Celia and Alistair (who are actual children).

A game stops abruptly one day when Celia guilelessly asks if Alistair would rather be Emperor of Orlais or King of Fereldan and he gets extremely defensive and answers, “Neither.” Having no context for this reaction (yet), Celia (a stickler for the rules) pushes him, insisting his answer isn’t allowed and that he’s cheating until Alistair gets grouchy, stomps off and refuses to play anything for days. 

Celia figures he must be overtired, but his unhappy reaction does come back to her later at the Landsmeet and contributes to her already firm resolve not to put him on the throne.

When bored, Alistair also periodically asks Celia to, “Do a trick!” with her magic and she usually obliges with something small and silly which Wynne always scolds them for (but they continue to do anyway).

Celia does not like Eamon one bit and makes it clear from their first meeting. Alistair actually gets a bit annoyed at her because she is polite to 99% of the other people they meet and he can’t understand what her problem is. Celia won’t say because she doesn’t want to drive Alistair away so she remains coldly civil towards Eamon and commences a long, looong process of nudging Alistair towards having the realisation himself that a) Eamon is manipulative, selfish and cruel and b) Alistair deserves better.

Celia wants to collect some of the books they find which is not practical given they are constantly travelling, but Alistair carries as many as he can in his pack and suffers in silence for it, ultimately finding it worth it for her enthusiastic gratitude.

Celia cuts Alistair’s hair and does a very respectable job after weeks of him complaining it’s flopping in his eyes (they used to cut each other’s hair in the Circle). Zevran pretends she did an awful job, gasping in horror at Alistair’s appearance, much to Celia’s ire. Alistair (internally weeping) tries to be brave until he can check his reflection in some plate mail and see it is fine.

Celia is very naïve about how the ‘real world’ works having been at the Circle since she was a child. This is especially evident in Denerim and Alistair has to explain how money works and grab her before she wanders down dicey looking alleyways.

Alistair nearly dissolves into a paroxysm of agony when he points out his favourite type of cheese at the Denerim Markets and (accustomed to the very limited range of bland foods provided at the Circle) Celia innocently asks, “There is more than one type of cheese?” Alistair makes it his mission to educate her. She doesn’t like most of what he feeds her but doesn’t say so to protect his feelings given he seems to take the matter so incredibly personally.

Leliana convinces Celia to sing one evening at the campfire. She’s breathy with a very limited range but manages okay, and Leliana plays and harmonises in support. Watching on with a goofy smile plastered over his face, Alistair comments to the surrounding companions about how talented she is and they’re like “…she’s really not mate.”

When they both wake up from a blightmare (or Celia has one and wakes Alistair with her flailing) they sneak about and eat anything they can find then sit up and have massive deep & meaningfuls (i.e. in the spirit of going for a long drive with a friend or being in the garden with someone outside a party and spilling your guts). Eventually they start blaming the depleted food stores on Leliana’s nug, Schmooples, much to Leliana’s displeasure.

Given Celia usually responds so well to his jokes, Alistair gets a bit peeved when Celia starts replying to some of his more severely self-deprecating humour with an unamused, “No you’re not,” or, “That’s not true.” He defensively argues it’s just a joke, but he does stop doing it so much as time goes on.

Celia is SO excited when Alistair gives her the rose. She never in her life thought she would be the recipient of a proper ~romantic gesture~…however she accidentally sits on the rose about five minutes after she gets it. Celia is devastated. There is a lot of panic and tears and she keeps one petal pressed in a book but has to unceremoniously ditch the rest in secret.

Celia doesn’t tell Alistair about this until years later and she’s terrified he’ll be hurt but he just laughs because he was so worried he was going to be the one to squash it and then she destroyed it basically the minute she got it. Alistair acknowledges it was an impractical gift given their situation. Celia gets mad and says it was a PERFECT gift and is annoyed at how funny he finds it given this has been a crushing, guilty secret hanging over her for years.

Following this, every time Alistair gives her any kind of gift, he can’t help but throw in a ‘Don’t sit on it!” and cracks himself up, especially when Celia gets grumpy about it and accuses him of spoiling the moment. It happens so often that when Alistair chooses a horse for her and plans to teach her to ride, Celia manages to cut him off with, “Yes, I know Alistair: I can sit on this one,” and steals his thunder.

Alistair periodically says Celia’s name just to check if she’ll answer, especially after a long period of quiet or to see if she’s awake à la screaming in the chantry because it’s so silent. When she responds he says, “Nothing” or “Never mind” but he finds it vaguely comforting just to hear her reply and it’s a habit he never loses, even when they have been together for years and he is much less isolated generally. Alistair doesn’t realise he’s doing it, and it never happens frequently enough for Celia to notice: she just assumes he has lost his train of thought.

They sometimes conspire to purposely fall to the back of the group while on the road so that they can hold hands. Everyone knows full well what they are doing, but Alistair and Celia think they are being incredibly ~sneaky~.

The first time they sleep together they laugh. A lot. Before, during and after.

Alistair snores loudly but only when he’s on his back. Celia is used to the noise of people sleeping around her at the Circle so it doesn’t bother her and she doesn’t want to disturb him because she knows he needs the rest.

When they are known to be sharing a tent however, their companions will slap on the walls of it and demand she kick him until he stops snoring. Celia will relent and gently prod and nudge Alistair until he rolls over with a bit of sleepy grumbling.

I think everyone has this headcanon to the point it is basically actual canon HOWEVER I am legally obligated to include it: Alistair is a professional body heat distributor and Celia drastically cuts down on the number of blankets she uses once they are sleeping together. If she stands in front of him on cold days, he understands the non-verbal signal and will automatically wrap her in his cloak.

Also might as well be canon: Alistair likes to be the little spoon. He doesn’t say, but Celia knows.

Decidedly not a fluff one (you can skip to Amaranthine to avoid) but the ritual with Morrigan fairly significantly messes Alistair up (both the act itself and his consideration of the repercussions i.e. Kieran). He’s jubilant and relieved at their victory over the Archdemon, but in the background struggles to process and there is some fallout once the victory celebrations lull and he has time to fully register what happened. Alistair grapples with a lot of guilt, disgust and confusion. He doesn’t know how to express it or where to direct his emotions so it mainly manifests as self-loathing. He wants to talk to Celia about it but can’t articulate his feelings which makes him feel worse.

Celia tries to comfort him, but he needs space on and off for a long while after and she gives him it. She feels a lot of guilt too, and never stops wondering how much it was actually his choice to do the ritual, worrying that she made him feel like he had to do it. Eventually they discuss it openly and honestly, which eases both of their minds somewhat, but it takes a long time to get to a point where they can talk on the subject. Meeting Kieran at Skyhold also helps Alistair down the line, though it’s obviously painful.

Amaranthine & Inquisition

Alistair keeps an eye out for people struggling, especially new recruits who are having trouble fitting in. He takes them under his wing and is very good at building people up and making sure everyone is included. He’ll just start enthusiastically greeting people like they are his best friend and squeezing himself onto the bench next to them at meals until everyone else follows suit.

For recruits that don’t respond well to his ‘mother hen’ type attention, Celia is good at assigning tasks that specifically highlight their strengths and builds their confidence/sense of purpose which also gains them the respect of their peers.

Alistair has been known to stand behind Celia while she is giving mundane orders/making speeches and pull faces or impersonate her, turning stony and impassive when she spins around accusingly because people are laughing.  

But if anyone else talks smack about her he gets very, “Sorry mate, just to clarify was that comment directed at my wife, your Commander, the hERO OF FERELDAN, VANQUISHER OF AN ARCHDEMON!? That’s lucky, I didn’t THINK IT LIKELY. Because that wouldn’t be WISE, would it now?” etc. with some loud, fake laughter and firm backslapping for the worst offenders.

The plan for them to part ways so that Celia can search for a cure goes very badly, especially because Celia (under a lot of stress and not coping™) eventually devolves into, “I’m in charge and I say so,” which is a big betrayal of their agreements both to stay together, and make decisions together on equal footing. She realises this and takes it back but Alistair is demoralised and gives in with a bit of petty, sarcastic reverence e.g. saluting and, “Whatever you say boss, don’t know why I dared to utter an opinion how foolish of me...” so they still part on slightly strained terms, even after later mutually apologising and trying to make the most of their time together before they go.

Both regret the argument during their separation and write horribly soppy letters to each other, but something still feels uncomfortably unresolved until they are together again. They pine. So much. It’s disgusting and cliched. There is considerable sighing and staring at the moon or deep into tankards, very much to the ire of those around them. Alistair can be particularly annoying: “This roll reminds me of my wife...she eats bread sometimes...”

After Celia sends the letter to the Inquisitor, she writes to Leliana directly along the lines of, “I know it was incredibly subtle but I wanted to check: did they get the message? That I will destroy them if Alistair gets hurt?” and Leliana replies in the vein of, “Hon, it wasn’t even remotely subtle ffs…”

When reunited, though ecstatic and nearly delirious with joy and relief, it takes a while to rebuild the trust they once had, especially for Alistair. There’s an unfamiliar awkwardness that flares up unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last and they’re both fully committed to each other and to staying together permanently this time.

Celia and Alistair have a conversation recapping everything that happened while they were apart in which Celia is all, “Poor Hawke. Honestly I’m shocked you didn’t do something obscenely idiotic like try and sacrifice yourself thank the Maker for that…” and Alistair is there, nervously sweating, looking for an exit, loosening his collar etc.

As they settle back into their old routines Alistair will occasionally blurt out things like, “I really like having breakfast with you,” and then berate himself internally for how trite that sounds but Celia replies on cue, “I love waking up next to you and the way you groan when you stretch your back out and the way you check your hair twice before you leave the room and the way you complain if I don’t eat my crusts and the way you still hold my hand when we’re walking...” and basically they’re just blissfully happy being comfortably domestic and even as they get older they are forever just teenagers in love.

The Wardens at Amaranthine acquire/receive a griffon egg and the hatchling imprints on Alistair and decides he is their mother. It can’t cope with separation, crying constantly if Alistair goes out of sight, and won’t let anyone else feed or handle it so Alistair carries them in a sling 24/7. He gets to give orders and run training sessions with the tiny griffon occasionally poking its head out just to glare at everyone.

Whenever the baby griffon squeaks, Alistair automatically replies, “Well said,” or “Excellent point, Ser Beaksly” with a totally straight face.

For the first few months, Celia gets nipped or scratched if she approaches Alistair unless he wraps the griffon up. It so badly wants to fight her. Celia is permitted to sleep in her own bed, as long as the griffon sleeps curled on Alistair’s chest and Celia doesn't try anything outrageous like touching her husband even fleetingly. It gets a little frustrating as the months drag on, but the image of Alistair with the sling over his armour, or with the griffon snuggling possessively around his neck staring daggers at everyone, is so entertaining that Celia can’t get truly annoyed about it. As the griffon gets older it does learn to tolerate other people and becomes more independent but remains very protective of Alistair and favours him above all others. Insert the ‘Ah yes. Me. My husband. And his thousand pound murder-bird-cat child’ meme here.

Modern AU Bonus Round

They share headphones while commuting.

They occasionally end up wearing sort of matching outfits, mostly unintentionally.

They consistently refer to their dog, Trevor, as their son to the point that people who aren’t familiar with them assume that they actually have a child.

[trellanyx]

your jonathan crane (who i love so very much) and numbers 1 through... oh, lets say 25 ;)

(Send me a character and a number)

Have I told you how much I love you lately, Lizard? Because I do. Oh yes I do. 😂

Word vomiting about my Jon in 3, 2, 1...

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

His work, of course. Not just the toxin, but the breadth of his knowledge, his experiments, his successes and vengeances. Jonathan is an expert in his field, and considering what he went through to get there he’s damn proud of it.

2) Who they want to please the most.

Jonathan Crane does not give a single solitary fuck about what anyone thinks of him. The only satisfaction he cares about is his own. Considering how high his standards are, that’s a big enough challenge already.

3) Who depends on them.

No one. Jon may make you think you need him if that serves his end goal, but other than that he keeps his distance. If you’re in a position where you actually depend on Jonathan Crane’s services, you’re fucked.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live.

Work feverishly to A) preserve his work and B) push it as far as it can go before his body betrays him. Jon would be pulling such long, intense hours that it’s quite possible he’d drop dead before the month was up from sheer exhaustion. If he doesn’t, then he takes his magnum opus and goes out with a hell of a bang.

5) A cherished personal belonging.

Nothing. He has things he likes more than most: a tortoiseshell watch, a spring-loaded gun, his sturdiest boots, his sharpest scythe - the whole fear gauntlet, actually, impractical as it was - but nothing he’d go as far as to say he cherishes. Everything Jon owns is expendable, and no matter how attached he might be to something, there’s nothing he wouldn’t chuck in a fire instantly if he needed to. 

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back.

“Unlimited access to test subjects wrapped in a stable paycheck. Arkham’s much more fun on the other side of the straitjacket.”

7) This character’s favorite character

I give up. It’s been days. Days that this post has sat in my drafts while I tried to think of this asshole’s favorite character, and I’ve got nothing. I’ve come up with a couple of disparate headcanons involving Jon and fiction in general, but I have no answer for this one. I offer this as a placeholder: “He doesn’t have any because he’s a contrary and insufferable bastard.”

8) What kind of car they would drive.

Dark, boring, older than sin. The gas pedal is the most abused piece of equipment in South Gotham. There’s a stain on the backseat floor that Jon says is coffee, and no one is brave enough to question him. Edward refuses to be seen dead in it. One day Jon’s gonna take that as a challenge.

9) What calms them when they are upset.

It really depends on the type of distress that it is. The basic scale is this:

Drumming his nails against things, or just tapping against the nearest flat surface if his nails aren’t long enough. (Common response to most grievances.)

Stepping outside for a smoke. He goes back inside when he either feels better or runs out of cigarettes.

Pacing inside or stalking through the streets like he’s on his way to kill somebody, taking small, petty pleasure watching people jump out of his way.

Stewing in a corner with a bottle of strong alcohol.

Actually killing somebody.

10) How they deal with pain.

Grits his teeth and bears it. The first lesson he ever learned.

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

As Scarecrow: His plague doctor mask, which replaced the traditional burlap after he stopped being able to feel fear.

As Jon: Custom winter gloves with longer fingers to accommodate his nails in the winter.

12) How they sleep.

I’ve talked about this before, actually! Here’s the quote:

Since he suffers from chronic insomnia and chronic I Have No Idea What Healthy Habits Look Like, Jonathan doesn’t go to bed very often. He’s more likely to pass out wherever he is - couch, desk, once on a morgue slab (don’t ask)… But when he does sleep in a bed, he tosses and turns a ridiculous amount. It’s not that he’s having nightmares (though with the way he moves, how could you tell), he just has a hard time getting comfortable. He’ll turn over at least 3-6 times before falling asleep, and he’ll keep shifting even after he does. It’s very common for Jonathan to fall asleep with three blankets and wake up with only one.

13) What kind of parent they would be.

*hysterical laughter* NO.

14) How they did in school.

He struggled with it a lot. Not because of a lack of intelligence or drive, but because:

Constant undernourishment and late night punishments made it difficult for Jon to stay awake in class. (His insomnia didn’t develop until he was in his early 20s.)

His homework was often late or mediocre because Jon did it after being beaten or kept busy with his grandmother’s laborious demands, if he was in a state to do it at all.

Jon’s glasses were almost never up to date. Constant squinting compounded by what Jon now knows were chronic migraines made class not only difficult to concentrate on, but physically painful.

Bullying. I don’t think I need to elaborate there.

Jon barely eked out a GPA high enough to get him into a local community college with the help of a scholarship targeted toward low-income families. Once his grandmother and bullies “helpfully” left the picture and Jon could focus on eliminating the obstacles above, he threw himself into his studies like a man possessed, and by the time he graduated, he’d secured himself entry to a post-baccalaureate program in Gotham. He used that as a stepping stone to med school and the rest is history.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use.

Jon doesn’t like either. His only indulgence in the smell department is almond-scented soap.

16) Their sexuality.

It varies depending on what version of him I’m playing, but it’s always either bi or gay.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke.

Something slow, creepy and mournful, probably not even on the set list, while he stares at you unblinking and makes you regret every decision in your life that helped force him onstage. You don’t ask for an encore.

18) Special talents they have.

Jon is double-jointed, a great whistler, sews all his costumes and is an adequate mechanic. See the “should be dead twelve times over” car he still drives. He’s also a better swimmer than people give him credit for, something that’s saved his life more than once.

19) When they feel safest.

In front of a fireplace. Jon can’t really explain it, nor does it make sense considering how much he hates heat in general. But there’s something about sitting in front of a fire that really relaxes him. (Don’t bother with the scarecrow/fire jokes, he’s heard them all.)

20) Household chore they hate the most.

Bathrooms.

21) Their fondest childhood memory.

“Killing them.”

22) How they spend their money.

Books, chemicals, caffeine, alcohol, weapons. And then living essentials. Maybe. Depends on how low he is on nicotine. (Jon’s spending habits are so predictable it became a running joke on campus, what did you expect.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink.

He’s not picky, but nothing beats a finely aged whiskey. He’s also partial to Black Russians.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves.

Useful as it can be, Jon regrets the loss of his ability to feel fear. He also wishes he didn’t get migraines so often. Nothing on the personality front, though: Jon knows what he is.

25) What other people wish they could change about them.

Oh honey, there’s not enough hours in the day to list all that.

[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Seong Ki-mun Nicknames: He briefly went by the name Kyle in middle school because he was tired of people teasing him about his “weird” name. But by the time he got to high school he didn’t care anymore and was back to going by his real name. (He also started purposely mispronouncing the names of anyone who made fun of his name– think A-a-ron.) Age: 30 Birthday: November 23rd Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius Birthplace: Anaheim, California Current Location: NYC, New York Speaks: English, Korean (fluently, but his family teases him about his “American accent” all the time) Dominant Hand: Right Education: He got his Associates Degree from LaGuardia Community College, then transferred to NYU and got his Bachelors in Arts & Sciences. He cheerfully refers to college as the most money he’s ever wasted in his life. Occupation: Teaching Assistant in the English department at CUNY Hunter College. He mostly assists with the Writing and Poetry classes, but also helps out with various Literature classes and acts as a substitute teacher within the department if a professor is out sick or anything. He sometimes ends up being treated more like a personal assistant– sent out for coffee or lunch, asked to type up notes or sort paperwork, but he doesn’t mind. Vehicle: Ki-mun’s aunt and uncle bought him a white 1998 Honda Prelude when he graduated from high school, and he still has it to this day. He doesn’t drive much since it’s so impractical in the city, but he likes having it around as an option for longer trips, road trips, etc. Worldly Possessions: Tons of random art supplies– pencils, charcoal, sketchbooks, clay, paints, brushes, etc. Notebooks completely filled with poetry (with many of the poems scribbled out). A fancy smart TV. A bunch of bean bag chairs. A super nice tablet (Ki-Mun may have a bit of an obsession with having the latest technology~). Tons of socks– like, way too many socks. He has an entire dresser drawer just for his socks. Pet(s): A super adorable calico munchkin kitty named Bugsy.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: He says 5’8”, but he’s closer to 5’7”. Hair: Dark black. Very full, soft and shiny. Always seems to fall perfectly into place even with the bare minimum of effort. He usually just puts a bit of pomade in it and tousles it. Facial Hair: His facial hair is very patchy, so he doesn’t bother growing it out. Eye Colour: Brown Skin Tone: A makeup artist friend of his, Andi, occasionally asks to put makeup on Ki-mun as practice (and also for fun) and has informed Ki-mun that his skin tone is “warm beige.” She also informed Ki-mun that he is an Autumn– Ki-mun doesn’t know what that means, but he likes to share it as a fun fact anytime he has to introduce himself to a group of students. Clothing: Ki-mun dresses like a pretty typical hipster, honestly. Skinny jeans, oversized sweaters, band tees, peacoats, cardigans, leather jackets, etc. He usually wears contacts, but occasionally wears big ol’ glasses. Distinguishing Marks: Does being adorable count as a distinguishing feature? Face Claim: Justin H Min

H E A L T H Physical Health: Not bad. Ki-mun was born HIV positive, but has been taking antiretroviral medications since he was a kid. At this point, his viral load is basically non-existent and he is considered to be in remission, with a very good prognosis. Because of the medication he takes, his immune system is not the best, and he is much more susceptible to getting sick as a result. During cold and flu season, Ki-mun will often wear a mask when he’s out in public– his aunt and uncle ingrained that habit in him from a young age (and also wore masks themselves so he wouldn’t feel like the odd one out). Physical Abilities/Limitations: He’s decent at almost anything to do with art, but is especially good at drawing with charcoal. He also likes doing speed-sketches, figure sketches, etc. He is also weirdly good at baseball, and plays on the New York City Metro Baseball Team as part of the NY Blacksox during the season (June through August). Also, he is great at tossing food directly into people’s mouths– popcorn, M&Ms, etc. He hardly ever misses. Addictions: Definitely caffeine, but no serious addictions. Allergies: He gets a mild rash when he eats or touches strawberries. Mental Health: It’s not horrible? It’s not great, but not horrible. As much as he denies it, Ki-mun is pretty lonely, partly because he has such a hard time letting anyone in. He’s not the most trusting person, and tends to keep people at arms’ length until he’s sure they can be trusted. At the moment, he only has one person in his life that he would actually consider a friend. Everyone else is just an acquaintance to him. Ki-mun has sort of “accepted” the idea that he may end up being alone forever, even though that’s not really what he wants.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Ki-mun was born in Anaheim, California, and got off to a pretty rough start. His mother had AIDS, and unfortunately, it was passed on to Ki-mun. He was fine and had no symptoms for a few months, but eventually began to get sick, though thanks to swift treatment, he recovered quickly and the HIV never progressed. As Ki-mun got older, his mother’s health began to deteriorate, until finally they moved in with Ki-mun’s aunt and uncle so they could help take care of her. She eventually was bedridden and had to stay in the hospital full time. One of Ki-mun’s earliest memories is of visiting his mother in the hospital for the last time, which is absolutely one of his worst memories. After his mother passed away, Ki-mun’s aunt and uncle took him in and raised him as one of their own children. They love him like crazy and were amazing parents to him, and Ki-mun has always been grateful to them– not only for raising him, but for loving him as much as they love their actual children and never making him feel like he mattered less. He had a relatively happy childhood in spite of everything. After high school, Ki-mun decided to move to New York– he wanted a change of pace, and wanted a chance to start over and reinvent himself. He found a job and began taking classes at the community college, managed to get his associate’s degree after a year and a half, and transferred to NYU to get his Bachelors. Ki-mun was a very dedicated student and didn’t spend a lot of time getting to know any of his fellow classmates, going to parties, making friends, etc. Still, he ended up being roped into a friend/study group, which is where he ended up meeting Spencer. Spencer was the first person that Ki-mun had serious feelings for. They were friends for the better part of two years, each attracted to the other but both too nervous to say anything. Finally, a week before graduation, Ki-mun got up the courage to confess how he felt, and they became an official couple for all of one day. Unfortunately, once Ki-mun explained to Spencer about his diagnosis, Spencer flew off the handle and accused Ki-mun of being deceptive, being a liar, being manipulative, etc. He told Ki-mun he was disgusting and to never contact him again, and that was that. Shortly after Ki-mun’s heart was smashed to pieces, he packed up everything he owned and moved to a new area of the city, wanting to put at least a little bit of distance between himself and his old friend group. It was here that he met Andi and became close friends with her, and also found a job at CUNY Hunter College. Although Ki-mun feels that his life is generally good and happy– he enjoys his job, has a really good friend and coworkers he likes, he has gotten really into his poetry lately and has been reading it at open mic nights– he can’t help but feel that something is missing from his life. Job History: He worked in his aunt and uncle’s restaurant from ages fifteen to eighteen. When he moved to New York, he did a little bit of job hopping before finally settling on a job at a grocery store– he stayed at that job until he graduated from college and took his job at CUNY Hunter. Fondest Memories: Despite the fact that his childhood was pretty rough at times, Ki-mun has a lot of great memories as well. Family trips to Korea, various birthdays, his graduation day. He also has fond memories of his job at the grocery store– as much as he didn’t enjoy the work, he really liked his coworkers. Plus, all the various spur-of-the-moment adventures Andi has dragged him into. Worst Experiences: His mother dying when he was four years old. Finally getting to be with the person he’d been hung up on for two years, only to be broken up with after less than a day.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Sarcastic. Often sounds like he might be annoyed. He speaks in monotone with most people, even when he’s not in a bad mood, so people often think he’s angry or doesn’t like them (and to be fair, they are sometimes correct). If he’s talking to a friend, he’ll definitely be more animated and not so grumpy. And if, by chance, he’s talking to someone he’s attracted to (*coughDODGERcough*) then he’ll get a little tongue-tied, like he wants to flirt but he doesn’t really know how. Accent: American. When he speaks Korean, his American accent does come through a bit, something his family likes to tease him about. Favorite Phrases or Words: When he’s done listening to someone and wants them to stop talking to him/stop telling him a boring story, he will just say “cool” in the most monotone voice he can manage. It usually works. Usual Curse Words: He says “Jesus Christ” and “oh fuck” a lot.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ISFP-T Sense of Humor: Definitely sarcastic and dry. He can be mean at times, but usually only if the person deserves it. As a result, Ki-mun has been described as “sassy” more than once. When he’s with people he actually likes, Ki-mun is a lot more lighthearted and not so sarcastic. Habits: Twists his lips a little when he’s thinking hard. Rolls his eyes when someone says something he thinks is dumb. Also rolls his eyes and sighs if he’s stuck in a conversation he really doesn’t want to have. When he’s reading his poetry out loud, he never looks up at the audience/whoever is listening because he’ll get too nervous if he sees everyone looking at him. Fears/Phobias: As much as he tries to act like he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, Ki-mun is very secretive about certain aspects of himself, and is very afraid of someone finding out more about him than he wants them to know. He can’t stand having his privacy invaded, and it honestly makes him feel sick to think of the wrong person knowing too much about him (he still hates that he ever let himself be so vulnerable with Spencer, and blames himself for not seeing more clearly what kind of person he was). Strengths: Ki-mun is very creative and has a knack for all kinds of art. Although it’s hard to get to know him, once he becomes friends with someone, he is fiercely loyal and would do anything for them. As a teacher/teaching assistant, he is exceptionally patient– much more so than in other aspects of his life. He is always happy to answer questions and help anyone student who needs it. Underneath his harsh exterior, Ki-mun is a kind person who just has trouble opening himself up to others. Flaws: He has built up a lot of walls around himself in an effort to try and keep himself from getting hurt. Every time he’s let those walls down, he’s ended up regretting it and building them back up even higher. Anyone who wants to get to know him has to be very determined. Ki-mun is also not the type of person to be nice just because social conventions say he should– if he doesn’t like someone, he won’t talk to them. If he thinks someone is boring, he will tell them so. He can’t stand small talk and will never willingly engage in it. This makes him a very difficult person to interact with. Hopes/Desires: He is not entirely sure what he wants to do with his life, but right now, he’s happy just working and exploring his options. All he knows is that he wants to keep writing poetry, possibly get some published, and keep working in a field that lets him play to his strengths. Wildest Fantasy: A cure for HIV/AIDS being found. Self-Esteem: It’s a little complicated. On some level, Ki-mun is confident in himself and proud of all he’s accomplished in his life. But at the same time, he has it in his head that he doesn’t deserve some of the things he wants, such as a romantic relationship, marriage, a family, etc. He kind of views himself as damaged goods, unfortunately. Religion: He was raised Protestant, and his family used to be fairly devout. He went to church every Sunday, they read scriptures and said a family prayer every night, etc. But the older the kids got, the less active in the church the entire family became. His parents and siblings are still casually religious, and Ki-mun has held on to certain aspects of it, but he doesn’t care about going to church or reading the bible or anything.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Usually on his stomach, occasionally on his back. Boxers or Briefs?: Briefs Day or Night?: He’s okay with both. He works during the day, which he likes, and in the late afternoon/evening he goes to the cafe and hangs out or reads his poetry. Top or Bottom?: Bottom, but he’s willing to switch if his partner wants to. Partying or Relaxing?: He likes parties, but he really prefers relaxing when it comes right down to it.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Andi is currently the only person Ki-mun would call a friend. He has a lot of acquaintances, but no one else that he’s really close to. Relationship History: He dated a couple of people in high school, but it was just puppy love and nothing serious. He had a couple of flings in college as well, just short-lived, purely physical relationships, and the only sexual encounters Ki-mun has ever had. And then there was Spencer. Ki-mun has not even been on a date since that whole debacle. Sexual Partners: Just the two guys Ki-mun had brief flings with. Thoughts About Sex: He enjoys it. He’s also pretty sure he’s never going to have it again, and has come to accept that.

P A R E N T S Name(s): His mother’s name was Seong Bo-ram. His aunt and uncle are named Park Min-ji and Park Kang-dae. Age(s): His mother passed away at the age of 28. His aunt is 57 and his uncle is 60. Social Standing: His mother was very well-liked, but was shunned by a lot of her friends after she not only became pregnant out of wedlock, but ended up contracting HIV. His aunt and uncle are well-respected in their community, and also well-off financially, firmly in the upper middle class. Occupation(s): His mom was a flight attendant. His aunt and uncle run a small Korean restaurant which is extremely popular– on weekends there’s often a line of people outside waiting to get in. Religion: Protestant-ish. Quality of Relationship With Their Children: Ki-mun’s mom loved him a ton– the reason she left him to her sister and brother-in-law is because she knew they would love Ki-mun as much as she did, and she was right. Ki-mun is still very close to his aunt and uncle. Living/Deceased: His mother is dead, but his aunt and uncle are alive.

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): Park Kang-min,  Jang-mi (aka Jamie) Sanders, and Park Bo-ram (named after Ki-mun’s mother). Age(s): 33, 31, and 27. Social Standing: They’re all doing quite well in life and are upstanding members of society. Occupation(s): Kang-min is a commercial airline pilot, Jamie is currently a stay-at-home mom but plans to go back to work as an RN once her kids are a little older, and Bo-ram is a violinist with the California Symphony. Religion: They’re all sorta Protestant, but Jamie is the only one of them who still goes to church now and then. Quality of Relationship with Character: Even though they are technically Ki-mun’s cousins, they always refer to him as their brother. They’re all pretty close; they don’t talk all the time or anything, but when they do, they get along very well and have always enjoyed each other’s company. Living/Deceased: All living~

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Ki-mun lives in a modest studio apartment fairly close to both his work and Central Park. The apartment is well-decorated, with a lived-in, cozy sort of look. He’s very comfortable where he is, not at all bothered by living in a small space, especially considering how much more expensive it would be to upgrade to a one-bedroom.

[argentdandelion]

Undertale: The Perks of Being Literally Not Human Author Patreon - Author Ko-Fi (Possible human reactions: “Oh! Dogs!” “So that’s what it would look like if the high school mascot costume were a monster...” “Oh gosh they're delightfully close to my fursona”.)

At the end of Undertale's Pacifist Route, monsters go to the Surface and live a life under the sunlight. It probably would not be perfect: the fact they are not literally not human would probably fuel some discrimination.

But it might be really convenient for them, too.

Cultural Familiarity

The very fact monsters are literally not humans means they won’t face the same psycho-social obstacles as, say, a group of human immigrants that look very strange to the eyes of locals.

If one can assume the Surface world of Undertale is just like the real world (circa 2015), then people are familiar with the notion of nonhuman sentient beings, and the sheer breadth of nonhuman-sentient-being images in media means it would be easy to make sense of monsters. Those who resemble beloved animals (e.g., rabbit monsters, dog monsters) would be especially comforting their familiarity. However, many people find even animals which aren’t conventionally cute (e.g., sea cucumbers, spiders) utterly adorable and likeable; now imagine these delightfully strange-looking creatures could talk.

Certainly, there’s a lot of media where nonhuman beings are villains, but also a lot of media (especially kids’ media) where nonhuman beings (even explicitly “monsters”) are good guys: Sesame Street (or an in-universe parallel) is a particularly long-standing example. Battle-monster franchises (e.g., Pokémon, Digimon) would make people familiar with the idea of befriending monsters, and make it seem really cool to have a monster friend, even though, obviously, it would work differently in the real world of Undertale.

Movies

People spend quite a lot of money creating monsters for shows or films, whether using CGI, puppetry or elaborate costumes. It would be much quicker, cheaper (and often more convincing) to use a real monster actor, and add makeup or CGI effects as necessary.

Indeed, the cheap, ready access to nonhuman, easy-to-train actors would probably amplify non-human representation across genres and budgets of films. Furthermore, the practicalities of accommodating monster actors means areas with movie studios (e.g., the state of California) would logically implement monster rights before bringing monsters into movie studios. Monsters being in lots of movies would drastically increase human awareness of monsters’ very existence, and so concern for their political rights.

Psycho-Social

Psycho-socially, monsters would provide three things for humanity: proof humans aren’t “alone” in the universe, an alternate sentient species for social interaction, and the validation of strange or unpopular beliefs.

Alternate Species for Socializing

Some people hate, fear, or distrust other humans, whether from misanthropy from developing social anxiety disorder after being mistreated by humans too often. Having concluded humans as a whole are cruel, petty, or untrustworthy, misanthropic or socially anxious humans might view monsters as a second chance for socialization.

Others may consider monsters exciting social opportunities...for romance. For similar reasons as misanthropy or social anxiety disorders, some humans fall into a state of despair after repeated failures starting romantic relationships with other humans. The fact monsters literally aren’t human will make such humans more optimistic about their chances, since the same standards might not apply.

Furthermore, “cruel intentions” make attacks on monsters hurt more. If this information becomes public, humans nervous about getting attacked by love interests might date monsters, if only because it is easy to take down monsters with cruel enough intentions and an improvised weapon. (Though this information would endanger monsters, too.)

Yet, even those who have had no severe negative experiences with humans may find monsters romantically appealing. Though furries and cutesy, mammalian-looking monsters is an obvious pairing, all the real-life media werewolf/alien/vampire/monster romantic inclinations show that even non-furries may find appeal in romantic relationships with non-human sentient beings. (Most of the time said beings look like humans, but, still, it’s a start.)

Validate Strange and Unpopular Beliefs

People have long believed in strange beings who are “higher” than or superior to humans in some way, whether in peacefulness, technological sophistication, compassion or a connection with nature. Monsters’ magical technology and the idea their souls are (supposedly) made of love, hope, and compassion may encourage this perception. Less skeptical humans may consult monsters on their presumed superior ways.

Indeed, if “superior alien beings” are rebranded as “actually monsters of Mt. Ebott”, it might spur a pilgrimage to places with great numbers of monsters, specifically in the hopes of social enlightenment. Humans admiring monsters, even in some distorted sense, could benefit monsters...though it might also be annoying to be put on a pedestal or have to mesh with humans’ beliefs.

People who believe they've seen ghosts, Bigfeet or, in some broad sense, monsters, may be unable to persuade other humans that their claims are true, becoming frustrated pariahs. Monsters emerging from Mt. Ebott would give their claims more validity, though not outright prove them. Depending on how much the general human population knows of the how the barrier was destroyed, paranormal enthusiasts may assume "Bigfoot" was a monster who absorbed a human SOUL (unbeknownst to anyone else), or a monster that never was sealed Underground. And if anyone says, "Monsters aren't real", the paranormal enthusiast can just point to a nearby monster.

The existence of magic itself, even if its methods and limitations are little-known to humans, would validate a lot of paranormal enthusiasts. Even if humans learn that humans can't do magic, ("they will never know the joys of expressing themselves through magic") they might reconcile that with the story of "humanity's seven greatest magicians" or suppose they have some subtle quirk in their SOULs. (Or suppose that they themselves have no magic, but their objects do)

Speaking of online communities, people in the otherkin/therian communities of Undertale’s Surface world would also love associating with monsters. In the words of Wikipedia:“Otherkin are a subculture who socially and spiritually identify as not entirely human.” Though in real life (at time of writing), humans are the only indisputably sentient beings, the very existence of non-human sentient beings on the Surface might itself validate otherkin/therian beliefs. Such communities might look at, say, the character Ice Wolf and say: “Aw, gee, when I said I was a werewolf I meant wolf monster.”

Monsters are likely to keep the details of human-monster SOUL fusion a secret, in case humans get paranoid again and kill them off preemptively, or just crave absorbing a monster SOUL themselves. However, the very fact human-monster fusions exist would give otherkin/therians a supportable framework for their impressions and beliefs. Perhaps otherkin humans might assume their ancestors absorbed monster SOULs at one point, and passed down some trace of a non-human essence to their descendants.

Biological

Monsters’ bodies are made of magic, or at least made mostly of magic in the same way human bodies are made mostly of water. Their biochemistry is likely very different to humans, so it is roughly as likely they could catch human diseases as seaweed could catch tuberculosis. Therefore, monsters would be very useful for studying or treating human diseases.

Furthermore, since monsters can eat monster food (which converts immediately into energy and has no waste) with seemingly no problems, it may be useful to employ monsters in places where it is impractical or very expensive to install a toilet. (e.g., a space station, a fighter jet, a submarine) Furthermore, since monster food is apparently tasty, doesn’t spoil, converts immediately into energy, and is known to be safe for monsters, the military might be interested in monster soldiers or military adjuncts. (Whether the monsters would volunteer is another matter.)

Conclusion

Cryptid hunters, ghost hunters, occultists, Wiccans, paranormal enthusiasts in general (and possibly alien enthusiasts), (fictional) monster design appreciators, animal rights activists and animal enthusiasts in general, furries, otherkin, movie makers, misanthropes and socially anxious people, NASA employees, and the military all very likely to rush to give monster rights. While some level of prejudice against monsters is very likely, monsters would have many allies almost immediately...especially if communities which overlap with the mentioned ones ally with monsters. (e.g., naturalists, environmentalists, video game makers, LGBTQ+ people, non-NASA astronomic scientists…)

[tmarie82]

Sweet Nothings

Pairing: Drake x MC (Emma Warner-Walker)

Book: The Royal Romance (Future)

Word Count: ~2,150

Rating:  PG-13 (b/c Drake was feeling frisky)

Author’s Note:  This incorporates two separate anonymous fic prompts for 12 baking together and #49 volunteer together for Drake and Emma.  No cupcakes were harmed in the making of this story, although I did have to eat one for inspiration. 😘

Please let me know if you would like to be added to my tag list.  You can find all of my fics here - MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~~~

“Mix three cups flour and one tablespoon baking powder in a separate bowl.  Gradually add the egg sugar butter mixture, ensuring that it’s- Drake!”  Emma’s warning comes a moment too late, as Drake turns on the electric mixer and sends a cloud of flour into the air and all over himself.

“Oh, shit!” Drake reacts quickly, turning the mixer off before surveying the mess all over the counter and his front.  

“Honey - It says gradually, not dump the whole bowl in at once.”  Emma rubs her hand along her forehead, trying her best to keep her tone calm.

“Well, I'm glad you insisted on an apron.”  Drake shrugged, then grabbed a damp towel to start wiping things down.

Emma chuckled and grabbed a towel of her own to help her husband with cleanup duty.  “Yes, that apron not only shows off your manly physique, it also actually has a functional purpose too.”  She swiped a small pile of the flour into her hand, then dumped it in the trash.  She studied the contents of the mixer, assessing the damage as Drake finished the improptu cleaning session.  “So I don’t think we lost too much of the ingredients, we just need to mix this in manually to get all the ingredients moist before we attempt to use the mixer again.”  She turned to her husband and handed him a large wooden spoon, cocking her brow and nodding towards the mixing bowl.  Drake groaned under his breath but didn’t argue before taking it and proceeding to the unfinished cupcake mixture.

“So why are we baking these from scratch again?  Couldn’t we just order some from the store?”  Drake asked in a relatively innocent-sounding voice.

“Drake Walker, you said you wanted to get involved at Harper’s school!  And since neither of our schedules allow us enough time to be president of the parent association, I think the least we can do is bake some cupcakes and volunteer for the spring bake sale.”  Emma reviewed the rest of the recipe and turned the oven on to preheat while Drake continued his mixing.

“Okay, okay ... but that still doesn’t explain why we’re the ones baking right now.”  

“Drake, don’t you want to do something 100% for Harper?  Show her that even though we have servants to do things and money to buy things, we are still regular people that can bake things ourselves?!?” Emma spoke with great bravado, hand gestures and all ... definitely more passionately than was reasonable on the topic of baking.

Drake’s eyebrows raised as he listened to his wife’s lecture, continuing to fold the dry flour mixture into the cupcake batter.  He cleared his throat, unsure how to ask his next question delicately.  “Em ...” he started in a gentle sing-song voice.  “You’re not trying to prove anything, are you?  Perhaps to a few certain uptight women in the parent association?”  

Emma scoffed, shaking her head and tousling her dark hair piled on top of her head in a messy knot.  “Agh, no!  Don’t be -“ she marched around their humongous kitchen, fetching more butter from the fridge.  “That’s just ridiculous, Drake. I-“ she cut herself off, internally searching for a believable explanation.  “I just want to ...” her voice trailed away and she finally raised her eyes to find Drake watching her tirade with stifled amusement hidden behind his features.  He knew her so well ... it was very annoying at times.  “Fine, maybe a little.”  Her shoulders dropped in defeat and she slumped against the counter, unable to suppress her embarrassed sneer.   Her husband set down his stirring and waltzed around the kitchen island, halting in front of her to loop his hands around her waist.

“Em, you have to cut yourself some slack ... you run an entire Duchy, for goodness sakes!  Do you really think people will judge you for not baking cupcakes from scratch?”  He caught her eye and cocked his head in question, a sly smirk on his lips.  

“Well, no ... I suppose not.”  Emma sighed heavily as she melted into his embrace, cheek pressed against his shoulder.  “I guess that’s one of my impractical female tendencies ... I want to do everything perfect all the time.”

“I think volunteering in the first place shows how hard you try.  And anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t worth impressing.”  Drake pressed a kiss to the top of her head while stroking her back.  

“Ugh, you’re right.  I hate it when you’re right.”  Emma giggled and tilted her head upward, watching his eyes sparkle as he snickered proudly.  “But don’t think you’re getting out of helping me with these cupcakes, Mister!”  She swatted his shoulder playfully.

Drake leaned forward, allowing his lips to graze hers as he spoke softly.  “I was hoping to distract you ... entice you with a different kind of dessert that doesn’t require any baking.”  

Emma pushed him away just before he got the chance to nip at her earlobe.  “Unh uh ... we have work to do.  And if you’re good, maybe I’ll distract you later.”  She winked at her husband who groaned audibly in feigned dissatisfaction, despite the lighthearted grin on his face.  She turned him by the shoulders toward his abandoned mixing bowl and sent him to work with a quick pat on his backside.

Emma began prepping the cupcake pan with liners while Drake finally finished stirring the batter well enough to kick the mixer into full gear.  Once the mixer was done, Emma took over and began ladeling spoonfuls of cupcake batter into the liners while Drake helped himself to a glass of whiskey.  If he was going to spend his evening baking cupcakes, he was definitely going to need a stiff drink.  He leaned back against the counter sipping his beverage and admiring the look of concentration on Emma’s face as she carefully poured the thick, sugary liquid into the pan.  With her furrowed brow and pouty mouth, she looked rather intense completing the task at hand.   Absolutely adorable, yet intense ... and easy to mess with.

“So, how do you know when they’re done?” Drake inquired nonchalantly.

“Usually when the timer goes off that’s a pretty good indicator.”  Emma quipped sarcastically as she continued her assignment.

“But what do they look like?  Are they firm?  Or are they still moist?”  Drake smirked mischievously to himself.

Emma stood upright as she finished filling the last of the liners, wiping her hands off on her jeans.  “Well, they shouldn’t be gooey but the cake should be moist, fluffy yet firm ... I usually test by inserting a knife ...” Emma’s eyes widened and darted to her husband as the implications of his question dawned on her.  “Wait, did you seriously just use baking terms as an opportunity to talk dirty to me?!?”  

Drake shrugged his shoulders and raised his arms in a sarcastic ‘what, me?’ motion, but his snarky grin gave away his playful tone far too easily.  “Get your mind out of the gutter, Em ... I’m just learning how to bake here.”

Emma shook her head, unwilling to satisfy his joke with a response.  She picked up the baking pan and slid it into the oven, squatting down to set the timer.  As she rose from the oven, she bumped into a solid figure standing directly behind her.  A figure smelling faintly of flour and whiskey and mischief as his hands ghosted over her hips and pulled her body flush against his own.

“I like watching you bend over like that.”  He murmured in a husky tone against her ear.  “Did you sit in a pile of sugar?  ‘Cause you got a pretty sweet ass.”  She snorted at his horrible joke, but the jest was forgotten quickly as he nipped at her lobe.

“Mmm ... you’re just determined, aren’t you Mr. Walker?” Emma turned to face him, running her palms over his chest as she pushed him backward to the kitchen island.  “Do you really think I’m so easily persuaded by your dirty ideas?”  She peered up at him innocently, softly brushing her fingertips along the collar of his t-shirt.  “We have a messy kitchen you need to help me clean up.”

“Hmm ...” Drake hummed against her slight touch, his eyes closed as he savored the teasing friction.   “You keep touching me like that and this kitchen’s about to get a whole lot messier ...” He opened his eyes to meet her stare, his gaze full of hunger and delight.  “You’re baking me crazy.”  

Emma choked out a giggle, unable to hold back the roaring laughter as she buckled over against him.  She felt the vibrations of amusement in his own chest as she pressed her forehead against him, trying to steady herself in her fit.  “Seriously Drake, that was horrible!”  

“You know there’s only one way to make me stop, right?”  He gave her a wide-eyed plea and that cocky smile that never failed to make her knees weak before grasping her face in both hands, pulling her lips to his in a fervent kiss.  

She moaned into his mouth, her senses intoxicated by the taste of whiskey on his tongue and the fragrance of baked goods in the air.  She knew resisting was futile as soon as his hands skimmed down her sides, that delightful tickle of pleasure pulsing through her limbs before the rough pressure of his fingers when he gripped her thighs.  Then she went willingly, wrapping her legs around his waist as he lifted her to the counter, pressing her against him as he whispered sweet nothings into the bare skin of her abdomen.  “Now let me show you how I can frost your cupcake, Betty Crocker ...”  And quickly she was lost in the throaty moans and warm giggles as Drake delivered on his delicious threats.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Why Duke and Duchess Walker, how thoughtful of you to volunteer time from your busy schedules for the school!”  Emma glanced up from the table of sweet treats to find Ada Carmichael, the two-faced parent association president herself, approaching them.  She quickly bit back her snide response and pressed a forced smile to her face.  

“Of course, Ada, we’re always happy to help when we can!”  She responded enthusiastically, hoping to hide her distaste.  “And the whole bake sale experience has really been fun.  Drake even helped with the cupcakes.”  

“Mmmhhmmm ...” Ada nodded slightly as she studied the contents of the table.  “And which of these goodies did you two bring so I can try one?”

Emma opened her mouth to respond, but- “Mommy and Daddy made these ones right here!”  Harper chimed in proudly.  “All from scratch, no mixes or anything!”  She pointed to the generously-frosted vanilla cupcakes with chocolate buttercream frosting.  Emma tried to suppress the slight tinge of embarrassment in her cheeks at the obviously homemade and unevenly-shaped cupcakes her daughter had just identified as their creation.

“Ohhhh, homemade?”  Ada raised an eyebrow as she observed the platter of treats.  “How cute.”  

Emma balled her fists, biting her tongue when she felt Drakes hand slip around her waist as he stepped forward.  “You should really try one, Ada.  Not only is Emma’s frosting to die for, we made these cupcakes together with a lot of love.”  He smiled warmly, pinching her side when she muffled a laugh with a fake cough.  He picked one up with his spare hand and handed it to Ada.  “Here, my treat.”

“Oh, well ...” Ada stumbled over her words, surprised by Duke Walker’s intervention.  “Why thank you.  How thoughtful.  Well, you two keep up the good work!”  She spoke in a cheerful voice but was unable to hide her smug expression as she rotated to walk away.

As soon as Ada was out of hearing range, Emma turned to her husband and gave him an exasperated look.  “Drake ...” She didn’t have to continue her statement, her eyes said it all.

“What, I merely spoke the truth!  Your cupcake- I mean cupcakes- are delicious.”  He flashed her a devilish grin, leaning in closer to murmur into her ear.  “You didn’t want me to mention the part about defiling our kitchen while these were baking, did you?”  He winked as he leaned back, immediately facing their daughter before allowing Emma a chance to berate him.  

“Now, Harper, I believe I promised you a trip to the playground!  Why don’t we get out of Mommy’s hair for a bit?”  Harper jumped up in excitement, grasping his hand tightly and waving a quick “Bye Mom!” as she tugged Drake towards the door.  Before he allowed himself to be chauffeured outdoors, he leaned in quickly to press a quick peck to Emma’s cheek and whisper in her ear.  “Later, Sweet Cheeks.”  He chuckled proudly at his wife’s new nickname before following his daughter to the playground.

Emma merely grinned as she watched them walk away, then sat her sweet ass down to manage the bake sale.  

END

~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @simplyaiden-blog @mfackenthal @lizeboredom @walkerismychoice @boneandfur @laniquelove @choices-fanatic @liam-rhys @mariamatsuo @the-everlasting-dream @client327 @kamybelen-blog @butindeed @enmchoices @drakelover78 @kamilah-sayeed-xoxo @parkerattano @asprankle @innerpostmentality @jadedpixiescribbles @crookedslimecreatorpasta @choiceswreckedme @debramcg1106 @mymandrake @alesana45 @christopher-powell @eileendannie @diavolosprincess @lazychic28 @clarissafics @blackcatkita @bella-ca @writtenbycandy @stopforamoment @mind-reader1 @snyggflicka @pbchoicesobsessed @miss-cordonia @mrswalkerwrites

[pixelproductions]

Why Partnering With Designers Is A Great Idea For Your Business

In a time where DIY online tools reign supreme, partnering with designers to help shape your business brand and marketing materials isn’t such a bad idea.

Image credit: Libreshot

Who needs support in this time of revolutionary online technologies?

Self-reliance is the name of the game today, it seems. With an idea and the will to make it a reality, you can sequester yourself in your home with a laptop and handle everything yourself.

Need a logo? Use a logo generator!

Need some high-quality copy? You have a keyboard, you can manage it.

Imagine the efficiency. You can save money at every turn, be the architect of your own destiny, and rarely have to deal with other people. Isn’t that the perfect scenario?

In a word, no, and the reason is obvious: you need other people.

To build a solid business, you need a great team around you. All the talk of being a “solopreneur” is fine when you’re just starting out (or dabbling in the business world in your spare time), but it quickly loses its luster. Past a certain point, working solo is impractical, exhausting, and unsustainable.

But that team-based mentality shouldn’t start and end with your employees, because smart outsourcing is a potent tool for anyone with ambition.

Do you really want to set your business apart? If so, you should try partnering with some capable designers.

Here’s why:

The DIY approach is often a waste of time

Let’s say you’ve built a fantastic team of versatile professionals, and everyone’s ready and willing to get involved in new tasks. That’s superb, and excellent for your long-term prospects, but the determination to handle things internally can be highly damaging if left unchecked. Let’s consider an example of how this can happen.

Imagine that you have an employee who wants to improve their design skills, and they volunteer to redesign your homepage layout. Reasoning that it’ll keep them happy, expand their skills and benefit the business without having to spend a lot of money, you allow them to take the task. They produce work that’s solid, and you implement it, thinking you’ve done well.

But what you’re missing there is the counterfactual of what might have been. Had you brought in a professional designer, you would likely have realized how much work and skill goes into high-end website designs, and learned that tiny differences in layout can affect conversion rates. Designers know that optimal UX takes a lot of work (not to mention extensive A/B testing using tools such as Optimizely — see below for more information), but because you’re not a designer, you settle for good enough — even though good enough rarely is.

If you want an employee to upskill, you can have them work on side projects that aren’t imminently important. You can even have them consult with the professional designers to see what they can learn. Just don’t think that being able to do something in-house means you should: the more important the project is, the more you need a true professional to handle it.

Brand identity is immensely important

The modern-day brand is extremely broad in principle, encompassing everything that can lead people to view your business in a certain way: social media activity, UX tactics, core values, networking, sense of humor, showcased expertise, etc. You might be tempted to take a much simpler view of branding on the basis that the details aren’t crucial — but they can be.

This is because the average shopper these days is spoiled for choice. Whatever they want, they can find it online in very little time, and have plenty of options for everything from the variety they prefer to the delivery turnaround they need. It’s hard to get people to buy from you despite your brand identity (unless you’re as big as Amazon, but even Amazon cares about branding).

Additionally, competitive brands must greatly expand their promotional efforts. For a short while, the online world started to narrow the options for businesses, drawing people away from brick-and-mortar retail, direct mail, and offline advertising in general — but it didn’t last. Once the basics were locked down, the norm started to move towards a mixture of, well, everything.

Multi-channel retailers making sales through social media channels. Streamlined hybrid POS for handling online and offline retail through the same back ends, allowing the easy use of pop-up stores and real-world events (see the fundamentals of Shopify’s POS system below). Your brand has the potential to be everywhere.

Designers know what it takes to make a brand look different: to have it come across as exceptional in myriad subtle ways, because it isn’t always the bombastic flourishes that give you the edge. And they can assemble brand guidelines that you can use for your content production process, ensuring that everyone works to the same restrictions to produce the consistency that’s so important for solidifying your brand identity (consistency of tone, at least, if not format).

External perspectives are invaluable

Even if you have some design experience amongst your employees, you still need to bring in designers, and one of the main reasons for that is your fundamental bias. We’re all predisposed to prefer our own ideas over those of others, aren’t we? And it doesn’t matter how many times you look back and cringe at what you once thought would work — you’ll still feel convinced that your new idea is absolutely rock-solid.

Hire a good group of designers, and you can get the comprehensive critical assessment you need to identify prospective improvements. You might even discover that the layout you think is genius will never actually work. Sure, it’s unpleasant to subject your creative process to such a mauling, but if you’re not a professional designer then you can’t realistically expect your work to stand up to that kind of scrutiny.

Testing is vital, as noted, but it takes time to root out bad designs. Great designers can do it right away, and explain in detail why they’re so bad. Do you really want to run the risk of getting trapped in a creative bubble and forging a brand identity that works against you?

Wrapping up with a recap, the reasoning here is fairly simple:

1: Doing things yourself isn’t inherently better.

2: The quality of your brand designs really matters.

3: You have biases that make you a bad critic.

Since your designs are really important, good designers are worthy investments. And if you don’t think your designs matter that much, then I have a bridge to sell you.

[sage-nebula]

Let's throw it back allllll the way to Haruka Nanase's career choices for the headcanon meme :)

Haha, well, I’m not going to focus on career choices specifically since this is just a character headcanon meme, but I’ll fill it out for Haru nonetheless!

A.) What I think realistically:

Haru has both chronic (severe) depression and generalized anxiety disorder, albeit neither one is diagnosed due to the stigma mental illness (and therapy) has in Japan. As such, both go untreated, and while Haru has periods where he’s feeling better about life and more sure about his choices (such as the end of the second season of the anime), that doesn’t magically make mental illness go away, and it always ends up coming back at some point. At his lowest points, Makoto has to practically drag him out of the bathtub just so that he’ll go to swim practice for the day (all the while reminding him that if this isn’t what he wants, he can quit---but Haru thinks it is what he wants, at least in the sense that he doesn’t feel like he wants anything else, so what does it matter?).

B.) What I think is fucking hilarious:

After moving to Tokyo, Haru discovers that water beds are a thing that exist, and though it’s expensive and impractical he spends all of his money and effort into getting one. The end result is that Makoto no longer has to tug Haru out of the bathtub every morning, but rather off the water bed instead.

C.) What is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Haru has, actually, thought a lot about drowning. He knows it’s a possibility; the water is alive, after all, so no matter how good of a swimmer he is, the water could always kill him if it wanted. At his lowest points, he thinks he would probably be fine with that. I mean, if he’s going to die, he’d prefer to die in the water. Drowning would probably be nice, he thinks in these moments. He wouldn’t have to worry anymore. It would be just him and the water, forever.

Whenever his thoughts veer this way, Makoto always takes his hand and squeezes it. They never talk about it, but Haru gets the sense that Makoto knows what he’s thinking, and he rubs his thumb along the outside of Makoto’s hand as their fingers twine.

D.) What would never work in canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

Haru ends up leaving professional swimming after a year or two, and decides to become a professional chef instead, opening his own restaurant. He’s very, very good at it.

[melissarayworth]

You Go First

Last week, I went to Kuala Lumpur for 48 hours. 

On a practical level, the trip made no sense: My husband was in the U.S., literally as far away from our home in Bangkok as a person could be. We have two adolescent boys. Only once in their lives have I gone out of town when their dad was already gone. And I only allowed myself that trip because a) I’d been invited to the White House, b) it was a work trip and c) I was only going to be a three-hour drive away from my kids.

This trip was none of those things, at least at the outset. 

Beyond childcare, it made no sense because I juggle running this household and focusing on the kids with freelance writing. So any hours I spend not working are hours I’m not getting paid. And on top of it all, I’m working on launching a business and often use the nights when my husband is away to tackle that. Taking an impromptu vacation doesn’t serve any of those goals.

But one of my oldest and best friends had written me to say she’d be in KL on business for just a couple of days, and wasn’t that really close to Bangkok? More than a decade ago, she wrote me a similar message when I lived in Beijing. “I’m going to be in Tokyo for a few days,” she said. 

At the time, I had a new baby. And I had a job. And my husband had to travel unpredictably for work, sometimes to places like Afghanistan or Iraq. It wasn’t a good time, I told her. I couldn’t go.

It’s taken me all the intervening years to realize that if a working mother waits until it’s a good time to take a trip purely for herself, she will never go. 

SHE WILL NEVER GO. 

It’s never a good time. There are never enough spare hours. There are always more reasons to stay home than to go. She’ll always say no. Finally, I’ve become a woman who works around the reasons and finds a way to say yes.

Understand: I’m not suggesting you abandon all responsibility, waste a ton of money and leave your responsibilities blowing in the wind. 

I said yes to the trip first, then I addressed each of the roadblocks (career, budget, childcare, time pressure). I came up with a story I could report from Kuala Lumpur and pitched it to an editor. Once I’d landed that job, I knew it would pay for the airfare and leave me with extra for childcare. Then I asked a friend I trust to watch the kids and offered to pay her a reasonable fee. And to tackle the time pressure, I also made sure I discussed the business I’m launching with the new friend I flew down with (herself the owner of a creative small business) and with the old friend I met up with (a career businesswoman with a ton of experience managing projects).

That’s how I ended up eating fragrant satay with wickedly good dipping sauce at the Shangri-la hotel in Malaysia’s capital last Friday afternoon. And it’s how I ended up sipping a well-mixed “bourbon martini” (which isn’t a real martini, I know) at a rooftop bar on the 57th floor of a building in the Petronas Towers complex, while reveling in the bird’s-eye view you see at the top of this post. 

Everyone’s life has different details. Another woman will have different opportunities, different places she wants to go and different solutions for the roadblocks that could stop her. But for all of us, there are ways to make an impractical opportunities just slightly more practical. You just have to commit first to actually going. Then you labor to figure out how to improve the situation. Once central thread for all of us, though: Asking other women for help and discuss concrete ways to return the favor.

This is my new approach, and I’m determined to make it a regular habit. The best way to build a new habit is to reinforce it, so here goes: I have another friend who is planning a work trip to Nepal next month. She mentioned that she’s up for having a few friends meet her in Katmandu when her work is done and spending maybe a week exploring the Himalayas. 

It’s another wildly impractical time for our family: My husband will again be out of town and the kids will have just finished their spring break. It’ll be time for them to motor through the final quarter of the school year. We’ll have just gotten back from a week in China. Everyone will be tired. I will have already missed some work hours. 

But I’m talking about maybe five days, seven at the most. Yes, I have kids and a job and a business to launch. Yes, the friend I’d be traveling with is in her 20′s, not married and without kids. Of course, she can do this. 

You know what? SO CAN I. 

The chance to go to Nepal isn’t likely to come along again soon, maybe ever. By the end of May, the season of monsoon rains begins, and travelers can easily get stranded or washed down a hill in a mudslide. 

So I’m going to brainstorm stories I can do on our China trip and then in Nepal, to maximize my work hours while traveling. I’m going to find the cheapest flight I can and bust my ass in the intervening weeks to earn a bit extra. And I’m going to work extra hard on business launch and get ahead of schedule. And I will work out childcare with friends, bartering if necessary to help them in ways they need assistance. 

That’s a lot to attempt, but it’s got to happen. Grabbing opportunities for yourself when you’re a working mother isn’t smooth or easy or practical. 

But it’s now or never. 

I pick now.  

[mattgrips]

Divinity

Power -> The potential to do work (overtime). A simple scientific attempt to ascertain the meaning of power. A great definition to establish power grids and make batteries but without further elaboration, it’s hard to see it in more of the kings and rulers kind of sense. Certainly, the president is powerful -> he/she can do a lot of work (overtime). I don’t know, that doesn’t sound right to me. A powerful engine can produce a lot of work to move a hunk of junk around, but the way a president/manager/CEO does work is more indirect – they are only one piece in the system where many other movers expend additional energy that accumulates into the later fruits of collective labor. But following the same logic, I would be hard pressed to isolate an individual engine component and declare it as powerful. There’s a lot about us people that isn’t taken into account when looking into power in this abstract sense.

The difference is Will. Once this is established, it is easy to see how power is both defined and allocated within a system of human beings. Now power is not a matter of how much work one can do, but how much work one can command. Following this additional concept into our universe is a snowball of newer concepts amalgamating into our anthropocentric worldview: respect, class, shame, pride, reputation. All wonderful terms that help us distinguish each other and enrich a world that would be rather dull without. I’m partially kidding – obviously power is one of the first ways we are introduced to our vices and fallibility. By inventing power we have essentially created the currency that enables our vanity, greed, and selfishness to run amok in the world. Life is no longer indifferent matter and energy. It now has us. Woohoo

I’ve cut going into a longer tangent to get to the original point of my post. Obviously, just like with ‘purpose’ (discussed in my previous post) the combined elusiveness and necessity of power has inspired many to try and write a book about it. The massive pile of power-related books attempts to see power in many different perspectives; from diplomatic (The Prince) to military (The Art of War), to business (Something by 50 Cent probably), to fantastical (fables i guess). Obviously this isn’t a topic that is only found in specific publications. Power is an apparent revelation in literally everything we do, so many perspectives exist outside of literature. It’s all quite a bit to wrap your head around. Luckily there exists a book that has compiled most of our history of power into a comprehensive anthology for totally academic and not pecuniary purposes.

Enter Robert Greene’s ’48 Laws of Power’. I picked it up last week and have enjoyed reading it up to this point. Much like other books, it is filled with obnoxious and facetious rhetoric, but it’s all good because it’s all in reference to historical accounts where it was okayy to talk like a sociopath. I can go on about the 48 Laws’ many contradictions, impracticalities, and immorality but to do so would be like intelligently discussing youtube drama. It would force me to talk like I was above the book’s pettiness, cynicism, and condescension. I most certainly am not, and I appreciate a book that understands when a topic is too broad and undefined to be talked about in a way that has no humor and play in it.

So I’ve enjoyed this book for what it is -> the book equivalent of Assassin’s Creed: an action packed adventure sprinkled in with historical tid-bits meant to not so much explicitly teach me something, but take me through a journey of the human experience through story, myth, and anecdote. And it does quite a good job. The stories are engaging enough to have me pondering many things happening in my life.

I want to discuss on the last law I read about today. Law number 30: ‘Make your accomplishments seem effortless’

I like this one because it’s one of the less objectionable laws. Also, it is one of the laws that has a more coherent connection to the underlying concepts of power that the book is trying to express (assuming the author had an underlying logic to his writing and was totally not just regurgitating content into a marketable way for money). Throughout the book, there has been a recurring theme on maintaining appearances. Greene cleverly recognizes that in the game of power most people are more equally matched than the power differences we observe in the world suggest. What differentiates people from each other is more of a matter of public perception. Two people can perform at the same caliber of whatever on the public stage but still be perceived very differently. One may be seen as the more honest competitor, or the more likable character, or be attached to a more noble cause, or a higher virtue. Whether these perceptions are true or not is not a practical concern in terms of transaction costs, and societal well-being. If there is to be any social fabric keeping us together, people can’t be in continual skepticism throughout the day. The result is a world based on appearances which creates a playing field where objectivity is obscured and people can be exalted to higher realms that any physiological, intellectual, or conscientious basis could never accomplish.

This is the only idea that is so apparently and consistently followed throughout the book. There are so many gaps in our perceptions of everything, all of which require too much rigorous work to actually figure out. Also deterring us is the likely prospect that whatever we discover will be a thousand times more boring than whatever we can imagine in our heads. Of course this last point is subjective as many find wonder and excitement in what others would call dull, but there is a well-defined picture of what the ‘public’ finds objectionable, boring, exciting, and just even though this majority is becoming more and more blurred these days (ill elaborate later).

Anyways, one of the many gaps in our worldview is the one inquiring on the varying capacity of human potential. The main driver of this gap is the inconsistency in seeing amazing human beings on TV, radio, stories etc. while also seeing the abysmal existence most of us live out for whatever reason. How could it be that some live to be great men and women while I struggle to get up everyday? Possible rational (but not necessarily true) explanations can be drawn from the social sciences, using a varying arsenal of socio-economic theories, or from the physical sciences where we can explain everything away with biological and atomistic determinism. If I’m really unfortunate , I may end up with an explanation that puts sole responsibility on myself, and my ego would hate that.

No matter how you slice it, finding a rational explanation for the outcomes of other people’s lives as well as my own is way too rigorous, and boring. What is more natural/probable (not necessarily more desirable) is subconsciously drawing conclusions from what I see from the outside. From the limited time I spend with people, I pick up clues on how happy, stressed, and well-adjusted a person is. Drawing these conclusions within the context of other things I know about the person will draw even more inferences. A person I see as stressed out and know as a working class shmuck will draw sympathy from my mind. A person I see as sad and know to be well-off will draw disgust. A person I see as easy-going and think to be in a highly difficult position will seem like a god to me.

And with this emerges the most well-defined aspect of power -> appearances. Finally a framework that can be elaborated on in a productive studious way. From this a multitude of Laws come about aside from Law 30. Law 5: Protect ya rep; Law 3: Conceal your intentions; Law 12: Use selective honesty; Law 21: appear dumber than your mark. All recognize the reality that we can’t background check every person we meet and have to use expedited forms of perception to form a worldview. From this we have a beautiful world of acts, stories, narrative, rhetoric; it’s all just one big play!

But I did emphasize Law 30 for a reason. It’s because while other Laws seek to have the user be perceived as ignorant, virtuous, or innocent, Law 30 aims to exalt the user into Godlike status. This brings us back into the gap of human potential. Because of this inconclusive aspect in our psyche, many of us won’t be too against the possibility that some among us are exceptionally divine. It makes life fun and brings excitement into our existence without actually taking on the stress that undertaking divinity in our own individual lives would entail. So even though it may be unlikely that an individual is divine, under the right conditions, many of us would want to believe that some of us are paragons.

This certainly brings excitement into my own personal life. To say that I don’t place existential burdens on celebrities, idols, and myths by holding them to unreasonably high standards would be dishonest. The trick (i guess) to not making this totally messed up is by a) being aware of how I am viewing people to continually find ways to reduce harm in the world; and b) using the use of idols as role models to continually push me to achieve greater things. Don’t sound that bad now eh? Oh well. Either way, this perception of divinity allows me to enjoy an exciting and productive thought process. I love my favorite bands, authors, and public figures based on how divine they seem to me. Outward appearances matter for me in this. I look out for: absolute disinterest (or even disgust) for others, elusive social media, lack of engagement, but of course with the occasional burst of exceptional performance or amazing revelation that asserts why I think whoever is amazing in the first place.

This is is really the idolized character I place in my mind. I hate it when someone on a screen I don’t know tries to reach out and establish a personal connection with me, and continually tries to establish relatableness with me. For me I really don’t want validation of who I am from others. I think I get that enough from my own existence. What I truly seek out are people to attach aspirations and goals to. I think many people do that too. And in that lies the empty space for people to obtain power from. Whether you think that’s unfortunate, or exploitable, or whatever, I find that it is a definite reality, and kind of makes life interesting.

Of course there are other people, or rather times when people, are on the other side of the coin. Sometimes we do look to others to feel validated in our current state. Sometimes we’d probably want someone to say things like ‘you can do it too!’, but from my experience I think those times are few and far, and are used in toxic ways that ultimately stagnate any sort of growth in an individual. I’m not sure if our tendency for this sort of comfort is on the rise, or just a simple pattern that occurs in all generations as they age. Whatever the actual answer, this is yet another vacancy for others to claim influence and power over.

Appearing divine by observing the 30th Law of Power does have its obstacles in this day and age. There is an increasing need and ability for transparency and accountability from anybody who does anything. How is one to give the appearance of ease when people now demand to see everything, from behind the scenes, to documents, to emails of all the workings of the system we live in. Obviously this is a great thing, I’m just saying that it is now harder to take on an exalted appearance now.

Which brings me to the actual point I was trying to make in this whole blog post. I didn’t think it would take this long to lay the groundwork for the only original contribution in this blog post but thank you for reading this far in. As the future brings in less ways to isolate yourself and give off appearances through subtle signals, there is still one signal that brings divine hope. It’s simple: Happiness. This world is an increasingly aware place that places a lot more emphasis on what to be sad about than anything. The world wants people to be aware that everything they do holds a negative consequence to someone else, and that the world is a large injustice that should just be done away with. With this in mind, how else can one go about life without being solemn, dull, and disillusioned?

This disillusion simply brings in the vacancy to obtain power through a new ‘illusion’ (I use illusion loosely because I don’t mean it like something different from reality. Rather I’m using illusion as anything that differs from what the public would like to enforce as ‘reality’). Before, the amazement from watching a virtuoso performance was partially by seeing how easy heshe made it seem. In other instances, where I see myself, I can see it beneficial to give the appearance that I can carry on my duties with happiness, hope, and optimism. Taking on Engineering and Law School, very socially demanding occupations, I have the feeling that society sees STEM and continuous learning to be undertakings of present sacrifice for future gain. A rational, and BORING perception of someone. How exciting would it be rather, to see someone undertaking such an act for deeper reasons. To see someone pursue something for virtuistic, philosophical, dare I say it divine ambitions.

I think this is why I derive much enjoyment from the book. Not for its simplistic listing of steps to crush enemies and feel all high and mighty. In its words, it kind of sets a framework of appearances that allows for creativity, innovation, and fun to be had when thinking about public perception, the human experience, and how power all plays a part in it.

That’s pretty neat.

[thecausecoach]

Thirty-five years ago when I was nearing my 17th birthday, my dream car was a  brand new Mercedes Benz 350sl. Red. Convertible. I just imagined the radio playing a favorite song and driving along curvy hills overlooking the ocean somewhere. Hair blowing in the breeze, not a care in the world. Freedom.

I might have been willing to settle for a “pre-owned car,” you know something like a 1965 Mustang (’65 because that was the year I was born, and I love significance and symbolism). What I wound up with was my mother’s old car. She got a new – well pre-owned although they didn’t call them pre-owned back then – Cadillac which I guess was her dream car, or as close to it as my parents could afford  – or wanted to spend at the time with college tuition around the corner. I was mortified. Living in affluent northern New Jersey, all my friends were getting brand new Camaros or  Firebirds and here I was with a nine-year-old mustard color Chevy with a rusted fender.

The dream and the reality (courtesy of Google Images).

I accepted it. I didn’t have the balls to object and demand something better. My father – as wonderful and gentle and loving as he was most of the time – would have kicked me into he middle of next week, if I didn’t express anything but gratitude for what I was given. He would have reminded me that growing up where I did skewed my perception; that having access to a car – any car – 100% of the time that I didn’t have to share with anyone else was a privilege bestowed  upon the more elite 17 year olds. I also knew with the measly salary I earned at my part-time jobs, I wouldn’t have had enough to buy a better car myself, even if I saved every dime. So I kept my mouth shut.

A funny thing happen though. The boys at school thought my 1973 Chevy Malibu with the 350 cubic inch V8 was pretty cool. And I also learned that freedom came from just having a driver’s license, from being able to get from point A to point B by myself. And yeah, great driving music on the radio and a warm breeze through the open windows makes it that much sweeter.

The mustard-color Malibu died it’s final death about 3 weeks after my college graduation and I bought a 3 year-old Camaro. A step up. A car I picked out myself. Now I had my own car. And my own car payment and my own insurance premium. But holding on to that Malibu through college allowed me to save some money. Patience is important. The ability to put off immediate satisfaction for long-term gain, I learned, is the first sign of real maturity.

The “family car” that brought my daughter home from the hospital and saw me through 13 years, 3 dogs, numerous memorable road trips, and almost 180,000 miles was a hunter green 1999 Subaru Impreza Outback Sport. When that died, I had my “affordable midlife crisis” purchasing a 2012 Fiat 500c. It was such a fun little car and my first convertible. I loved that car! It was the first car since the Camaro so long ago that was just mine. After my husband died, and the Fiat became our only car, I was faced with the reality of it’s impracticality. Driving my daughter and her friends and lacrosse equipment around in such a tiny car, just didn’t make sense. I made a very difficult decision to trade it in for a 2012 Honda CR-V. All-wheel drive, safe, roomy, practical. Mature adults make sacrifices (temporarily).

In less than seven weeks, my daughter is scheduled for her road test on her 17th birthday, just like I did. And like me, she will be getting her mom’s hand-me-down to drive. 100% access, all of the time (with a year of satellite radio!). And like me, joining the elite 17-year-olds. Her mom?  Well, I bought a pre-owned 2015 Volkswagen Eos. 2015 because that was my first full year as a widow.  Eos is the Greek Goddess of the Dawn. I love significance and symbolism. Plus I got a really nice deal. It’s as close to my dream car as I can afford –  or wanted to spend right now with college tuition around the corner. It’s a convertible. It’s German. I outgrew red. After 35 years behind the wheel, I finally have what I want and deserve. I really earned this. Freedom.

Saddle River County Park, Paramus, New Jersey, February 2017

Goddess of the Dawn Thirty-five years ago when I was nearing my 17th birthday, my dream car was a  brand new Mercedes Benz 350sl.