#and at least im ashamed of my behavior hehe
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hervench · 2 years ago
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not to insinuate i was ever gonna mess w a first yr. my roommates bf was like this guy u messed w is gay now hes talking to this freshman guy i was like he could be bi lol... but a freshman is crazy im sorry. .... fresh out of hs
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freyaphoria · 4 months ago
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now im curious what yandere hongjoong does for a living hehe also joong gifted hwa legos for his good behavior right? could you write something like yn being jealous bcs joong gifted hwa present and nothing for you?
Alexa, play Will you be my 벗? (8:09 sec) by Ateez -> Wooyoung: bimil~
I'm kidding, but since I'm thinking of writing the fic in series, I want it to be a surprise loll. But it's a job that suits his yandere character very well, you can guess it, right?
And I would like to express my love and gratitude to my dear @matzrionette for helping me find a title🩷
Jealousy Left Unwrapped
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tw: jealousy!, yandere hongjoong, yan!seongjoong x reader
wc: 1540
taglist: @aim-blossom
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"Why do you look so sad?" You swear he's doing it on purpose. He does it knowingly to make you jealous and drive you crazy. It doesn't take a genius to understand why you're upset.
"I am not." replied briefly and harshly. Your eyes were also on Seonghwa, who opened the gift package with excitement. "What's that tone of voice? Know your place." Your eye muscles had developed from rolling your eyes at Hongjoong during your stay here. After rolling your eyes at him, you were still hoping that he would give you a gift, too. After all, you were just as good as Hwa, okay you still didn't like Hongjoong but at least you tolerated him. Even this should have been rewarded.
"Joongie! You bought the set I wanted the most! Thank you so much!" Having finished unpacking, Seonghwa jumped on Hongjoong and hugged his neck. Your stomach dropped when Hongjoong said something to him like it was no big deal and kissed his cheek. For a moment, you thought that if Hongjoong was going to expect the same performance from you when he gave you a gift, you'd rather he didn't give a gift at all.
But then you thought again why he bought a gift for him and not for you. Why didn't he buy you anything? You've been behaving really well lately. You didn't try to escape, you were finishing your meals. Sometimes when Hongjoong hugged you, you didn't try to escape from his arms. You even wished him good night yesterday. Why didn't he buy you anything?
Was this jealousy? No way. You weren't crazy enough to be jealous that the man who kidnapped you was buying a gift for his other victim, who was just as crazy as himself, but not buying one for you.
Yes, you agreed. You were jealous. But how can you not be jealous? Hongjoong already had a favorite. His favorite of course, was Hwa, either because they spent more time together, or because he found Hwa and formed a bond with him at the peak of his sick impulses, or because he was a hundred times more loyal to Hongjoong than you. Yes, he loved you obsessively too, but look, he bought the gift for Seonghwa, not you.
Seonghwa looked at you as jealousy flared in your heart, forming a bigger and bigger ball. "Angel look, now we have a set to do together!" He looked very happy. And the fact that he included you in his gift made you feel ashamed of your jealous thoughts. But the problem wasn't Seonghwa, it was Hongjoong.
Of course, Hongjoong knew what he was doing. From time to time, in order to keep your relationship strong, he would give more attention to one of you than the other and ignore the other. This was one of his favorite manipulation tactics. The person who is ignored subconsciously thinks, "I must be as good as them, what can I do to make him love me as much?" he loved injecting this thoughts and seeing the flames of jealousy in both of your eyes. And he would definitely win. When he used this tactic on you, for a few days, without realizing it, you would act closer to Hongjoong, do whatever he said like a puppet, and try to win his love. Of course, you wouldn't do this consciously, but being the favorite person of the person who held power in his hands and the gifts or freedoms he showed you was very tempting.
After fake smiling at Seonghwa, you stood up. "I'm going to my room." As you turned around and went to your room, you heard Seonghwa say 'we were going to start this together, where are you going?' even though you heard his whining, Seonghwa was the last person you wanted to see right now.
You knew what you were doing was childish, but you couldn't help it. While jealousy was flowing through your veins, you were startled by the gentle knock on the room door. You knew it was Hwa, the only kind person here, who knocked your room.
"Did something happen?" You shook your head without looking at his face. Just as he was about to open his mouth again and say something, he closed his mouth when he heard Hongjoong's voice calling him from downstairs. "I'll start preparing dinner, if you want, you can watch TV with Hongjoong while I prepare it. I'll get his permission for you." It was starting to make you sick to your stomach at how nice he was to you. You sometimes wished he could treat you as cruelly and harshly as Hongjoong. This way, there would be nothing binding you here and you wouldn't start getting used to here. But sometimes, you wondered what would happen to Seonghwa if you managed to escape. You wouldn't forgive yourself if you couldn't save him from here and if his Hongjoong-like behavior progressed and he completely turned into Hongjoong.
"No need." You said without looking at him again. Seonghwa thought it would be better to close the door and leave you alone.
Dinner time also passed in silence. Since you didn't look at Seonghwa's face, you didn't see the new star necklace he had around his neck. Did he always have that necklace? No. You noticed it when it swayed as he took your empty plate, catching your eye with its metal reflection. "Since when did you have that necklace?" Hongjoong smiled at you subtly, as if expecting this question. "Ah, Hongjoong got this too. He gave it to me after you left. Beautiful, isn't it?" He told you with a big smile and playing with the star in his hand. He never meant to make you jealous, he was just very excited and wanted to show it off to the world. It was truly a great achievement and honor to receive a gift from Hongjoong.
Hongjoong saw the flaring jealousy in your eyes as you stood up from the table, and grabbed your arm before you could get too far. "What, you don't like it?" He was smiling at you so annoyingly that if he hadn't held your right hand, you would have tried to punch him. Unfortunately, you couldn't give the effect you wanted with your left hand. Maybe he was waiting for you to explode and punish you for it. You didn't know.
But you weren't going to give him what he wanted, he wasn't going to get that reaction from you. You put on a fake smile as you tried to pull your arm away from him. "I like it! It's beautiful! I loved it! It couldn't have been more beautiful!" You hated it when your emotions showed in your tone of voice. If you were stronger, could you stand up to him? "That tone of voice... Is it jealousy?" When he said it with a giggle, you felt yourself blushing from your ears to your cheeks. "Haha! Why are you jealous? After all, you hate this place and me, and it shouldn't matter if I buy him a gift and not you, right?" Ah, he's started again. Even if you denied it, he would continue this psychological torture until you agreed, so you would admit that you were jealous because you wanted it to end as soon as possible without tiring your brain any further. And also, yes, you were jealous.
"Yes, I'm jealous! So what?!" Seonghwa was watching you with wide eyes. Sometimes he was jealous of you too, but it wasn't because of the gifts Hongjoong bought you, it was because of the attention he gave you and didn't give him. "May I know why you're jealous, princess?" He knew why, but he enjoyed humiliating you this way. "Because... Because I've been so g-good lately too! Okay, even though I wasn't as good as Hwa, but I was s-still good! Why didn't you reward me too?" You cursed under your breath at your trembling and stuttering state. When he didn't say anything and looked at you, he looked at you for a long time, you felt uncomfortable and squirmed in your place. "Angel, we can do the lego set together-" "Seonghwa, shut up. Princess, if you were as obedient and loyal as Seonghwa, I would buy it for you too. But you still don't hug and kiss me of your own accord, it hurts my dignity." He looked at you and opened his arms a little, as if he expected you to jump into his lap, hug and kiss him right now. Even though you were jealous of the opportunities he offered Seonghwa, you were never going to give him what he wanted. You didn't move and looked at his arms for a while. Thinking you were hesitating, he said "Come here." to encourage you.
"In your dreams." You pulled your arm away from him harshly and headed back upstairs. "Then I won't buy you anything again!" His voice coming from downstairs got on your nerves. "You're not buying me anything anyway!" You shouted at him with the same tone of voice. Before slamming the door, you heard that Hongjoong mumbled something to Seonghwa about him banning you from watching TV for a week.
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a/n: Again me and again yandere matz... Please keep sending me requests about yandere matz. I'm dying for them! Also, my next fic will be yandere yunho and lots of chaos! (I received the request you sent me but please give me some time to write it, dear anon♡♡)
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auspex · 1 year ago
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Haha, I like seeing your wall of text about Mark and his adventures! :D
Lanford has been really sheltered in their Chantry (and abusively controlled by their Sire) since their Embrace in the 70s! And they've actually never had an incident of losing control to the Beast. So I think they'd say "Individuals are not monsters, that's simply a way of categorizing things which frighten or confuse us. Clinging to the belief that Kindred are 'monsters' rather than understanding we are a new life form with different needs and behaviors is like drawing 'here be dragons' on every map. It's just ignorance." Lanny is very fun to play because they are analytical and condescending. They HAVE been punched in the face by a Brujah for not knowing when to shut up XD
They know about the history of the Tremere as mages but they consider thaumaturgy to be perfectly consistent with the prior Hermetic practices, or maybe even superior since it's using the capabilities of vitae to power it. They've never met a mage before but they would be super excited about that! :0 Lanford has met fey creatures and gotten super messed up on their blood though.
Can I ask about Mark's relationship with his Sire? You mentioned his Sire has very powerful blood? (Or, is a low generation?)
hi im feeling like more of a human so i cna finally finish this post and resurrect it from my drafts i am so so sorry for the delay.
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GOOD sometimes tremere nerds have to get punched in the face that's just the way it is. Mark can relate to being abusively controlled by their sire or at least, he would if he really realized it <3
Hehe Lanny you don't know shit if you don't know about how much stronger mages are. Too good.
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OK yes so Mark's sire is super old idk why the ST lowkey gave special snowflake syndrome but whatever he can have a sire thats over a thousand years old as a treat.
gasp. yes, that means he was around when the tremere went from a mage house to a vampire clan. that's nuts! he was already older than most humans because he was a mage trying to extend his lifespan. thats how he's so GotDamn old.
His name is Julius. I think he's technically 8th gen but he did weird blood sorcery shit to make Mark essentially an 11th gen as far as blood potency is concerned. He uses Mark as a spy/errand boy but Mark doesn't mind because, due to high level blood bond, he thinks Julius helps him a lot (technically does ig) and is really happy when he pleases Julius.
He is starting to recognize that, rationally, the only reason to help him would be out of fear, but the blood bond is still there oc which makes it complicated.
Julius keeps him financially stable, will fulfill basically any minor request Mark makes of him, and due to his high position in the Tremere keeps him safe politically just by being his sire.
In return Mark gives him weekly reports, does various spying things when requested, (largely against Julius's rival, Gaius, which is a whole nother' story), and is basically at his beck and call.
For his part Mark is mostly in awe of Julius, terror in the classical sense; sees him as super powerful, wants to please him; but at the same time recognizes that Julius is fairly like, inhuman and awful, so hides how much he cares abt humans and such, in fact he kinda feels ashamed of it, which is sad :(
Julius had Mark's ex spy on him before his embrace/while they were still dating - he didn't directly do it, but ordered another kindred to get info on Mark and thats how he did it. Basically ruined Sampson's life. So yeah. pretty fucked. A quote that lives in my head rent free is when Mark was concerned about sampson and asked Julius abt him for the first time Julius said "You can have many Sammys" so he clearly doesnt like. get it. lol.
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snakecadet · 3 years ago
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So after two years I just finished watching all 11 seasons of the x-files and damn it hurt, tonight was the fucking end of an era for me and I just spent 10 minutes crying in the shower.
It was so crazy too; like Skinner was faithful down to the very last minute. He was the one steady character who stuck to his morals and was never corrupted. He also killed fucking Reyes who was my least favorite character ever and was a bad temporary replacement for Scully. I love that man so much and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried when he got killed.
The whole William debacle was good for closure, I really liked his character and I'm happy that Mulder got to talk to him even though he technically wasn't his dad. I really loved the connection that Scully had with him too, even though it wasn't the most straightforward. William really loved her and he tried to communicate that to her.
I have questions: What happened to Doggett? What happened to Kersh? I hate that man also, he was a real pain in the ass. Was Samantha's ending real?
Mulder and Scully's love story was so awesome. I waited two whole years, and 218 episodes to get to the ending and I finally came to a conclusion. Their love story wasn't meant to be the typical on-screen romance where the sexual tension gets resolved through an established relationship or something. It was a connection that was solidified through a decade-long life that revolved around self-exploration. We got a grand total of 3 kisses but that wasn't really the point, it was the fact that they trusted and loved each other by the end of the series. They did everything for each other. Let's be real, Scully thought that Mulder was an insufferable twat at the beggining of the show, and by the end he was one of the only people that she trusted. I love that their relationship wasn't portrayed through sex scenes or kisses, but through the small gestures. The way that they hugged each other, or held hands really communicated their deeper feelings. I fucking love that.
Back to Doggett. That wonderful man was around for 2 seasons, but he was an awesome Mulder replacement. Mulder brought something really critical to the show, he was the backbone almost. But Doggett was charming, and kind and had a dry sense of humor. Plus that accent hehe. He really grew on me, I thought he was a jerk but then he slowly (quickly, who am I kidding?) became one of my favorite characters because he cared for Scully, and hated Mulder but still put in full effort to find him. I missed him in the last two seasons, and the fact that they didn't even make up a covexr for his disappearance sort of put me off.
I don't really want to go off on the characters that I hated because there are so many that I love and appreciate. But Agent Reyes was the most annoying woman ever. No explanation but like ugh no. Her betrayal in the end really hurt, like she worked so hard for the x-files and then she just,, decided to work for the smoking man to "Protect Dana" BITCH NO. YOU LITERALLY COULD HAVE KILLED HIM. ugh im very passionate in my dislike for her.
The smoking man. He progressively got more and more dislikeable as the series went on and I swear he died like 8 times before Mulder finally put a bullet in his head. I had sympathy for him for a tiny period of time, but then he shot and experimented on Spender so I no longer liked him. He had a sad backstory, but I felt like it wasn't consistent with his dickhole behavior near the end. But also!! Did you know that the actor for the smoking man was an advocate for this Canadian cancer organization? I think that that is super sweet, and in real life he seemed like such a kind guy!
There is so much to talk about like Krycek! His character was cool! And then he was mean and annoying and evil and Skinner really did the x-files universe a solid by killing him. I loved him though and was sad to see him go. Remember that one horrible episode where he got his arm cut off without anesthesia? yeah. That is one of the episodes that lives forever in my memory and makes me cringe to think about.
Before William was Scully's alien daughter who died, and even though she was sort of forgotten about in the continuing plotline, I really loved that episode. It was so sad and it really showed Scully's desire for a life outside of the FBI and how much she wanted a family.
A tiny sentence in memorial for the first deep throat who was in my opinion the superior one.
This leads me to the religious representation in this show. Personally, I am not religious but it was so cool to see a TV show that demonstrated a positive outlook on Christianity. It also showed how people with different beliefs can still get along, Mulder didn't believe in God and Scully did. Her relationship with religion was complicated though, she had an inner dispute between her faith in God and the logical approach that science gave her. A big part of the series was her trying to find a balance between the two, and I loved how we were given closure on that. She believed in the existence of the supernatural, and scientific explanations, but also that miracles were real, and that God was real.
Okay this is Way Too Long but one last little paragraph to celebrate three of the most loveable, wonderful characters in the whole show.
The lone gunman, Frohike, Langly and Byers were decidedly some of the quirkiest, most solid characters. I hated the fact that they died, and that was literally gut-wrenching. They did go out with a bang, they were some of the nerdiest TV show dudes ever but they were heroic and selfless and so so so loyal to Mulder and the x-files. I love them all and I want to applaud Langly's dedication to his haircut for a long decade. Totally badass. Also, John's sad love story was super sweet and made me love him even more.
I could write about this forever and I have so much more to say, I probably will because this is such a big part of who I am. Well thank goodness for fanfiction, I've been holding off on it for two years so I could understand the plot and I'm finally there!
The truth is out there <3
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