#and apparently my husband's mom and grandma and friends and coworkers

[decadentdeviation]

Maybe I should put this picture of my positive pregnancy test in my secure folder before I go see my entire family, huh

[secretblogosphere]

My god it’s been a long time since I was here. I probably should have utilized this space a lot more lately but somehow it didn’t occur to me until the other night. But here I am. Better late than never?

As usual, I just need to vent. My life is fucking falling apart and I’m about to scream.

For one, I’m stuck in a job that’s making me miserable. I came here because I needed to get out of my last place and, while it is better, it’s still sucking the soul out of me. And despite my hourly being much higher I got fucked over with bonuses so I’m actually making basically the same as before. The worst part is it’s about to get worse because one of my coworkers is going on maternity leave, one is retiring, and another leaves in August. Which means I’m going to be stuck at a property I can’t stand being at.

Two, I’m drowning in debt. And it’s not getting better. I was expecting more income so I moved into a more expensive apartment than I was in. But between my husband fucking up last year, my taxes being so expensive I can’t even pay them, and our general finances out of control it’s just getting worse and worse. I have no idea how I’m going to get out of it.

Three, my health is not going well. It’s nothing serious but frustrating enough that I just never feel good. I’ve been having digestive issues, over production of mucus, headaches, tonsil stones, and my hormone shit. I know eating better and exercising would help but I barely have the energy to do basic tasks to keep functioning much less anything like cooking or going to the gym. And I know stress is making it worse but I can’t get rid of that because 90% of what’s stressing me is external and out of my control.

Four, I’m so fucking lonely it hurts. While I know cutting the toxic people out of my life was for the best, I have no idea how to make new friends to replace them. And I legit have two people in my life, one of whom is borderline toxic. So I spend all my time in my house alone. I don’t have anyone other than people on the internet to commiserate with. And while all you guys are lovely, it’s not the same as going to lunch with someone and just enjoying their company.

Five, my marriage is on the verge of collapse. We fight all the time, don’t enjoy each other’s presence, and the happiness we once had has basically disappeared. And I can’t fix it. I’ve done everything I can think of but it just gets worse and worse. Plus, he seems totally unwilling to work with me on it. His opinions of me are so negative that he can’t see past them. And most of them are built on this false narrative he’s created of who I am in his head. Still, I can’t seem to get myself to let go. Even if it’s for the best, which I don’t even know is true, I just can’t. I still love him but am not even sure why some days.

And then, just to add some colorful flair to it all, my aunt was just admitted to the ICU. She was having trouble breathing and went to the ER last night. Apparently it’s something with her heart valve. She’s only 79. My grandma, her mom, lived into her mid 90s. This isn’t supposed to be happening. I’ve had so much loss and I can’t handle any more.

I feel guilty that I’m angry this is happening. I know it’s so much worse for my cousin because that’s her mom, but I just can’t handle anything else. I’m at my breaking point. How am I supposed to keep functioning when I hit blow after blow after blow? It feels like my world is collapsing. I’m legit disassociating constantly. My feelings keep cycling through anger, fear, and bone crushing sadness. It’s too fucking much. I can’t do this.

Even with my bipolar meds, it’s hard for them to cut through all this pain. I shudder to think how much worse it would be if I didn’t have these meds. I have no support and no options. I’m stuck. What do I even do? How can I just keep going about my life? I won’t even say going about it like normal because I’m not even sure what that looks like anymore. I’ve lost myself. I’m trying so hard to keep as positive of an attitude as I can but it feels impossible. I just want to be happy. I want the life I imagined for myself. It’s not even anything crazy, just normal shit that people want.

Anyways. I just needed to let all my feeling out somewhere that’s safe. I know I just have to take it one day at a time, one minute at a time really. Whatever will be will be. I can’t change life happening. I just wish I knew how to find a pocket of happiness in all this misery.

[windmilltothestars]

OK OK OK

It is SUNDAY!!  I walked in the heat and played Pokemon Go!  I walked a mildly longish way to catch a Jigglypuff!  On the way, I met a man I had met once before.  He was returning from grocery shopping!  I was walking that way purely to catch a Jigglypuff!  He incredulously asked “In this heat?!?”  and commented that it was “some commitment” before we said goodbye!

I suppose it’s like the guy who was impressed that I didn’t care about walking umbrella-less in the rain.  I’ve just - never really let the weather affect my plans.  Like, I go outside in full knowledge of what kind of misery and sweatiness it can wreak and it’s just like - part of life?  Mind of matter?  I rarely take the weather into account when getting dressed.  Anyway, I was going out for multiple reasons but two stores were closed.  I did get that Jigglypuff, however.

The world’s length and breadth of new experiences is staggering and amazing and stressful.  I fully understand “fear of missing out.”  And yet it kind of makes me feel greedy, because I’ll see an article or post about some kind of cool thing or experience - the Renaissance Faire, this one street in Moscow, and France and Egypt and the Andes, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, a whole bunch of conventions, somebody else’s DnD campaign, somebody else’s job or field of study - and I’ll want to experience it myself, and a lot of that stuff is EXPENSIVE and I don’t need any more stuff, I have too much already and others need more and blah blah blah, or it’s too late to go into that field and it’s not your top choice and you need to DECIDE and PRIORITIZE what you want for you life and I ALSO WANT TO ADOPT EVERY STREET CAT and what about your ART?!?  What about the job you HAVE?!?  You’re just setting yourself up to be dissatisfied.  Contentment is virtue, Malina.

Anyway, I scroll through another ADHD blog to feel potentially validated.  I saw Incredibles 2 this morning!  It was super-fun!  Since then I’ve accomplished NOTHING but catching that Jigglypuff!  Though I started and made progress on dishes a while back (out of DESPERATION because someone was COMING) I’ve now backslid, and they smell so gross.  I spend too much time watching Youtube and playing stupid phone gem-sliding games not because I particularly want to, but because I’m filled with DREAD at doing anything actually MEANINGFUL.  I can barely watch a full movie by myself these days.  I’ve been really stressed at work. My students have actually asked me what’s wrong.  Sometimes when all the kids are being noisy at once, I can’t do anything but clench my fists, shut my eyes and beg them to by quiet.  The question of whether or not I’m “good with kids” may never, in fact, be fully answered.  I’m OK with being empathetic and dramatic enough to entertain them, but keeping them focused?  Discipline?  If my job was just keep them happy, I’d be a rock star.  I mean, maybe.  Watching Edna Mode today got me into that mindset of “you’re naturally just an Eccentric Artist, Malina; you weren’t meant for organized offices” but that’s an exaggeration and an excuse.  I don’t know.  I need the vacation, I guess.  My boss watched my class again on Friday so of course I freaked out.  I’ve had this class for three days and he just handed me a book and told me to talk about the same 1-page reading for the whole class.  I tried to make a plan for what we would talk about for it on Friday but it lasted maybe half that and so I had kids write summaries.  I think I might hear it tomorrow.  And if I hear it again, I will inevitably cry.

My 5-day of vacation starts on Wednesday.  I want to help my coworker make pie; she was asking me about making pie - idk why me, maybe it just seemed like an American thing? - and this woman is amazing and I would love to come to her house and bake with her but offering that suddenly seems very terrifying. She’s the sweetest and the least scary of my coworkers, and apparently when my maternal Grandma was in Japan visiting my mom, she taught the Japanese students to make apple pie, and I would feel this amazing sense of LEGACY if I did so but this lady has a husband and two kids and idk I’d feel weird offering.  I hope my vacation can help me and that my friend and I get along.  I need it.  And then I need to make decisions about the future. 

ANYWAY!!  Thanks again for reading my repetitive, disorganized stream-of-consciousness, getting-off-my-chest rants!  Have a fantastic day!! :D 

[legendofkd12]

Becoming A 12 Year Old Adult

Our memories of early childhood are usually quite blurry; it’s hard to remember specific details, but sometimes a memory sticks out. Most children remember exciting life events like birthdays or a baby shower. While I have plenty of happy childhood memories, it seems that most of the tragic memories have taken over.

The summer before sixth grade we moved to a little cabin in Bethel. The cabin on Byam Road seemed like a saving grace for my parents because the rent was so cheap. They both worked full time jobs, but raising 3 young children isn’t easy when you have bills to pay, so we moved quite often. The cabin had 2 bedrooms so my sister and I shared a room while Tyler who was only 5, shared a room with my parents. Upon first glance, the cabin wasn’t much to look at. A very basic kitchen with a tiny stove, two small sinks, and a fridge. There were only a few cupboards, and zero counter space, so there wasn’t much room for storage. The interior of the cabin was dirty to me. The wood wasn’t smooth and shiny like hardwood floors typically are, the wooden walls were warped, gusts of wind would blow right through the cracks in the wood, but it was a place for us to live so I tried not to whine.

My parents both worked full time, my siblings and I spent most of our mornings at a daycare of some kind, dinner was always on the table even if money was tight, everything seemed normal to me as a child. Sometimes my parents would argue, but it never seemed to be a big fight. One time my dad moved out and slept in his van for a few days during a fight, but they always apologized to each other and continued to take care of us. April 21st: I don’t remember much about school that day, only that the secretary’s office told my siblings and I to ride the bus to my aunts house instead of going home. This was pretty normal for us because we spent most of our afternoons with her, and given that today was the last day of school before spring vacation officially started, it was possible that we would be having a late bon-fire or something. I remember walking up the road and seeing quite a few cars in the driveway, it looked to me like there might have been a party going on so we all got excited hoping there would be a barbeque. Getting closer to the house I noticed that it was quiet and no one seemed to be laughing, must’ve been a hard day at work I figured.

My Aunt Rita told her son Kyle to take us up the road to the neighbors farm because he needed help feeding the sheep and pigs. Being kids, we were pretty excited and bolted up the steep driveway not even noticing that my mom had been crying, and not stopping to ask myself why dad was ‘missing’ from the crowd of people. I’m not sure how long we spent feeding the animals, it could’ve been a few hours, we wanted to stay all night, but I knew it was probably dinner time soon so we had to leave. We were sitting at the counter, my mom was crying so hard she couldn’t form words. Everytime she looked up at us she would cry harder, I knew something was wrong. Suddenly I had a moment where I realized dad wasn’t here, and why were the other guys home from work so early anyway? I knew dad was definitely hurt but even as a child I knew that my mom wouldn’t be here if he was hurt, she would be at the hospital with him, it must’ve been worse. She couldn’t get the words out, she choked when she told us he had a heart attack at work and died this morning. My initial reaction was to make sure the whole family knew. I wanted to call his sisters and his dad...I wanted to make sure everyone knew. I didn’t cry like everyone else was, and it made me feel uncomfortable so I wanted to be alone. I went down the driveway to the pond and sat at the picnic table and out of nowhere my mom comes down to sit with me. I don’t remember what we talked about but I was a little irritated that she made me go back up to the house where all the people were. The rest of the day is a blur. We more-than-likely spent the night at my aunt's house, possibly longer. I don’t really remember the funeral either.

When spring vacation was over, it was time to go back to school. My Aunt Rita came with us so she could help my mom talk to our teachers and the office staff about what had happened in our family incase my siblings or I acted strangely in school. I remember my teacher announcing it to the class and it made me very uncomfortable to have the spotlight on me with something so personal. Our class trip to Hulbert, and outdoor center in southern Vermont was a good distraction for me, it was nice to be away from everything going on at home and having a few friends I could hang out with. I didn’t talk about my dad to any of my friends or family growing up; my mom always pressured me, but I never knew what to say.

Shortly after my father's’ death, my mom went back to work. It had been several weeks and we were getting tight on money but it turns out she wasn’t quite ready. A coworker approached my mom and asked her how the kids were doing. Apparently for my mom this was a snapping moment because she yelled at the person, “How do you think they’re doing?” and then she instantly quit her job. I think that was the first day I was really mad at her. How could she quit her job? What were we going to do for money?

So many things began to happen after my mom quit her job. She was only 27 when her husband died. Now that I am the same age, I can understand how she could become so depressed and fed up with life, but at the time I was just so angry with her for quitting her job when we needed it the most that I didn’t bother trying to understand what she was going through.

Friends and family ended up staying with us all the time. Every night

we had someone sleeping on the couch just to hang out and keep company with us and my mom. At one point my cousin moved in with his girlfriend and their three kids, but I can’t quite remember the order of events. Mom started spending her child support money on drugs and got caught up with the younger adults doing drugs and dealing cocaine out of our kitchen. My mom and dad had always smoked pot, so one day when I saw her and a few guys smoking something different I questioned her and she tried to hide it. That’s how I always knew when she was lying to me.

With drugs came different men, and that usually meant more drama along with it. Since my mom had me when she was 16, she never finished high school and grew up in my opinion, so her depression took her into a downward, immature spiral. The house on Byam Road is where I lost my father, but it’s where I lost my mother as well.

I remember coming home from school and mom would be gone, sometimes she would leave a note on the table for us and sometimes she wouldn’t. I got used to it and started to understand a pattern. If there wasn’t a note she was probably up at my aunt's house or just in town shopping and would be home later; but when there was a note it usually had phone numbers and a list of chores she wanted us to do while she was gone. Sometimes she would be gone overnight and wouldn’t stock the cupboards before she left so we didn’t have much food to eat. After awhile she stopped paying the utility bills because she didn’t have a steady source of income. Eventually we didn’t have electricity or heat so in winter, the water pipes were frozen solid and eventually burst. I was using a stupid little cell phone as an alarm clock because it ran on a battery, and I had to charge it at school in the office just so we could wake up for school every morning.

My mom would usually get home in the middle of the night and then be sleeping all day long until dinner time. Because we didn’t have a car most of the time, we had to take the bus home from school and couldn’t participate in sports or after school programs. Going home wasn’t always fun when we lived in that cabin. It was always a gamble if mom would be home or not. If she was home she could be sleeping or have friends over being loud and obnoxious in her room. Either way the three of us were technically left alone and had to fend for ourselves. I always made sure my siblings did their homework, I even turned it into a game for Tyler since he never wanted to do it. I would make simple foods for dinner like grilled cheese, mac & cheese, or frozen pizzas. In the beginning of the month we would get food stamps, so we always looked forward to going shopping. My mom never even wanted to go shopping, she sometimes would send me in the store with her EBT card and just sit in the car. I became a great shopper though; learned how to get the best deals on my own.

When we had utilities but no food to eat, I could call my grandmother or aunt and someone would pick us up if we were left home alone. They always came to our rescue. They always sent us home with containers of food so we could eat later too. We always begged to stay at grandma’s house, I don’t think she ever realized how bad our home life was. I know she suspected something because of my mother's’ behavior, but she never asked us questions. When the utilities were shut off for good, I’m not even sure how long we lived there afterwards. With no propane, it was very cold in the house. I remember sleeping with several blankets and getting dressed under the covers in the morning. I even slept in my bed with my pile of clothes to keep them warm. My cat, Tommy, would sleep under the covers with me too. He was my best friend. Anyway, Tyler usually shared a bed with my sister that way they kept warm together. So many crazy stories, I’m not sure where to start.

[driveneed17-blog]

13 people share the creepiest thing that happened to them that made them question reality.

Even if you don't believe in the supernatural or the undead, you have probably at least heard a story or two that made you question the ways of the world. Hell, maybe you've even experienced one first hand. And perhaps any of these tall tales could be explained through science or coincidence, but hearing a good ghost story is always worth the chill it sends down your spine.

The people of the internet have spoken and offered up their creepiest stories. Try not to get too scared reading along! And consider us shooketh.

1. Rotfled7 might be going bananas

I had two bananas, connected at the stem part. Broke them into two, ate one, threw out the peel, came back for the other one and it’s gone. I live alone. Either I have a rotting banana somewhere in my apt or I’ve gone crazy.

2. jefuchs has a tale that is as adorable as it is creepy

My cat hated me for the first seven years we had him. He was a feral that was tamed by my wife, and only accepted affection from her. My wife assured me that this was common for ferals.

Then one day he suddenly warmed up to me, and wanted my to pet him. We've been best friends ever since.

This was approximately four years ago -- about the time that my wife's brain cancer was becoming aggressive. Even before we were aware of it. She died two years ago.

It's like he knew it was just going to be the two of us one day.

3. Miss_Awesomeness has a mystery man on her hands

When I was a kid between 8 or 9, I used to wake up every night to headlights coming through my bedroom window. The lights would then would stop and turn off, not as if a car drove by but as if they were turned off. Then the long shadows of a man, as if were looking through my window would pass by and stop in front of my window. I would lay really still and pretend nothing happened, every night for months. Eventually I convinced myself it was imagination. Now that I think back it stopped when my stepdad moved in (my mom was single) but I was convinced it wasn’t real.

Across the street lived my best friend-whose mom was also single- and she refused to sleep in her bedroom. Her window faced my window. She told me years later it was because every night a man would park in her side yard and walk over to my yard. The long shadows were from the light in her yard. She eventually decided it was my dad checking on us and never told me until I was a teenager. It wasn’t my dad (I asked him).

So I thought I was crazy and hallucinating for years and perhaps I wasn’t or two kids were having were odd dreams at the same time every night.

4. This story from MyopicInsanity gave us chills

I'm the type of person who keeps my bedroom door closed and locked all the time, no matter what even if I'm home alone. So like a year ago, it was 1 AM and I had decided to get a glass of water before going to bed. After coming back in my room I swore that I closed and locked my door. After about 30 minutes of me dozing in and out of sleep, I suddenly felt all the ambient noise completely dissipate and immediately got that "something feels off" feeling. I got up and saw that my door was wide open. It scared the shit out of me as I was home alone. I've just chalked it up to being a one time mishap on my part.

5. InnocuosCyanide experiences some serious Haunting of Hill House shit.

I used to live in an apartment kind of place on campus, with three other people. We all had our separate bedrooms, but shared a living space. It was on the seventh floor, to give a better idea.

Once, I woke up at around 2AM to find that my phone was automatically playing a song. I closed the app, but it happened 2-3 times again. I would have put this down to my phone being weird, but then one of my roommates told me the exact same thing happened to her as well. This wasn't all. A few days later, I woke up to a beeping sound coming from my phone and when I checked, it was apparently a sound recording. The duration showed as 0.00 though, which meant that it shouldn't technically play at all. I deleted it immediately.

Another time, my roommate and I were watching a movie and had stayed up till 3. It ended and she went to sleep. After a few minutes, she burst into my room and asked me what I was doing. I was confused because I was just lying in bed, reading. She said that she heard very weird noises from the window, which she assumed I was making, to scare her or something. I went to her room and it sounded like heavy breathing/sighing. I told her it is just the wind. We opened the window and saw that the trees etc were completely still.

6. SourJellyfish had a rude ghost as a coworker

I worked at a small retail shop that sold mostly small accessories and clothes. I have never really believed in ghosts but my coworkers always swore the place was haunted. Lights would flicker randomly and canvases would fall violently to the ground despite my efforts of proping them up so that they didn't.

The thing that really made me question everything happened when I was closing alone at night. We had a sunglass display in the middle of the store. Just a flat glass shelf with a bunch of sunglasses laid out nicely on top. I walk past it to the register and hear this huge crash. Look back and all of the sunglasses were on the floor. It looked like somebody just took their arm and dragged it across the shelf pushing them all off. There wasn't anything above the display so nothing could have knocked it off. I don't have an explanation for it.

It was right as I was about to close too. He was a rude ghost.

7. ScubaTwin is apparently clairvoyant, but nobody believes them

I dreamed it was dark, raining and I was in the woods walking towards a camp fire. There were 3 men around it whom I had never seen before. One was wearing a shirt and pants with huge white and black horizontal stripes on it such as a prisoner might wear. I could not figure out why I was not scared in my dream.

Fast forward 10 months later, we're hunting and camping. A friend brings along 3 of his friends that we had never met before. I have to go to the bathroom (buried a 50 gallon drum and put a seat on it) and my husband walks with me since it's dark. We start back and it starts to rain. We get to the clearing and there are his 3 friends around the fire - one wearing the outfit described above. I wasn't afraid in my dream because my husband was behind me and I just couldn't see him.

No one believes me.

8. Whoaaaa, what? (via TheFailSnail)

I was playing with our dog in the living room. At the time I was around 9 years old. We we're doing our usual "only play like this when mom isn't home else she'll tell us to stop" type of playing.. so basicly playing fetch in the living room. At 1 point I threw the toy which caused it to ricochet out of the living room into the kitchen. Frans (our dogs name) chased it and disappeared around the corner to get it. At that exact moment the front door opened and mom walked in with Frans on a leash after a 2 hour walk over the beach and dunes..... I tried to explain, but can't. I played with him for at least 15 minutes in ... apparently.. my imagination, but I just don't believe that.

9. sjvmi87 reminds us that kids can be creepy as hell

Talking with my son when he was 3 or 4 years old while he was playing with a Darth Vader toy in his mom's lap. Talking about the Wiggles or Barney or whatever. Completely unprompted, he said nonchalantly "Dingo cold. Dingo cold." and goes back to playing with his Star Wars toys. I asked him what he said and he denied saying anything with a giggle.

My wife very clearly heard him say "Dingo cold" too.

I never told him about my childhood best friend, "Dingo", being killed in an avalanche ten years earlier.

10. ThatDudeTrees is a door whisperer.

At least six times in my life I've gone home I know I locked the door but when I'm about to put my key in the door opens like someone was expecting me but no one's there ... It's happened at my mom's house my house and other ppls houses. I was helping my buddy move into his new house and when we came back with more stuff I had to pee so I ran to the front door and it opened ... When he came in he said he locked it before we left ... Don't know what it is but maybe it's a super power

11. A v casual ghost story from illogicalfuturity.

Me and my cousins seeing the same woman in white floating in our grandpanrent's living room.

Grandma said that it was her friend who died during WWII.

12. Good luck sleeping tonight after reading this one from Rukyah.

Sleep paralysis. A few years ago, I was dreaming I was talking to a friend of mine, so far, nothing weird. But then, for some reason, I realize that I was in a dream and the person I was talking with technically wasn't my friend. Suddenly, their appearance turned to black and I felt them pushing me down and holding me down in my bed. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. At this point my cat woke up and jumped on me as if to protect me. Then, the dark silhouette or whatever that thing was vanished and I woke up. I swear I had red marks my shoulders where that thing was holding me down in my dream.

13. Did CyperiaRose travel to another dimension???

My wife and I had a 2 hour drive back from st louis to our home during which both of us lost time, "woke up" 3 hours later still an hour and a half away from home only having used enough gas to go that half hour and our gps showed we had been driving our normal route. We still have no fucking idea what happened but we know we hadnt pulled over and that neither of us had any memory between taking an exit and seeing this onw particular billboard for a restaurant we always pass. Still freaks me the fuck out.

Source: https://www.someecards.com/news/news/creepy-stories/

[themomsandthecity]

My Mother-in-Law Hates Me For No Real Reason, and I'm OK With That

The first time I met my now-husband's parents, I didn't know what to expect. Steve hadn't dated anyone seriously in high school, so I was the first person he'd "brought home" to meet his mom and dad when we were in college. At first, I didn't pick up on any negativity from Steve's mom. I hugged her the first time we met (though I realize now she was probably just extending her arm for a handshake or to take the ornament I brought as a Christmas gift). The visit quickly became more awkward, though, as were the next few times I went to Steve's parents' home. Shortly after my arrival for one visit early in our relationship, Steve's mom asked him to wash her car, since he does a more careful job than a car wash. It took the entire day. At the time, I thought it was a power move - that she'd purposely asked him to do it that day so we wouldn't have more time to spend together. He was spending weeks with her after I left, so why did the car need to be washed during my only weekend there? Related: My Ex-Mother-in-Law Stepped Up in a Huge Way When I Divorced Her Son Still, I tried not to overreact and did my best to make a good impression on Steve's family. I tried to start conversations at the dinner table, even if his mom wasn't interested in speaking to me. I played board games with his mom and brother, even when his mom used a Taboo clue to complain at length about her coworker, rather than trying to actually play the game. I wasn't getting much in return during any of our interactions, but I knew this was a relationship to navigate carefully as Steve and I became more serious. I recognize that his mom and I are the two most important women in his life, and there needs to be room for both of us. By the time we got engaged a few years later, I knew things weren't going to change with the woman who would become my mother-in-law. My own parents were thrilled about the engagement and welcomed Steve into our family. Steve's parents were divorced at that point, and he told me his dad had a photo of us on display next to his other pictures of Steve's married siblings. But his mom wasn't happy with the news. Apparently, it led to a fight between the two of them, where she told him I was taking him "away from the family." After hearing that, I wasn't sure what to expect from my now-mother-in-law at my bridal shower. She gave my husband and me some lovely gifts for our kitchen, but there was one thing she said during a bridal shower game that I'll never forget. My sister had organized a Scattergories-inspired game, where guests had to make a list of things the groom needs. The letter was "E," and my mother-in-law wrote "escape ladder." (She tried to say that she wasn't specifically referring to Steve, but what other grooms were in question at that shower?) Related: My Daughter Is Obsessed With Her Grandma, and It's Becoming a Problem A horrified hush fell over the crowd, with my mom's friends and my relatives exchanging plenty of worried glances. Several of my mom's friends came up to me later, saying not to worry about it, that she would open up to me as time went on. But I'd already known her for years; time had already been going on. I knew at that point that she would never fully welcome me into her life. And I realized there's no point in me trying to suck up to her, either. Not everyone in your life is going to like you, and sometimes you just have to accept it and move on. My husband, of course, doesn't approve of things like the "escape ladder" comment, and he did tell her off after her remarks about our engagement. Still, I recognize that his mom and I are the two most important women in his life, and there needs to be room for both of us. He usually chooses to speak to his mom when I'm not present, a decision I respect, though I at least try to wish her well over the phone on major holidays. (Major holidays where we aren't with family, that is - Steve and I have never spent Christmas together, as he visits his hometown without me during the Winter holidays.) Related: The 5-Step Guide to Setting Boundaries With Grandparents It used to make me sad that we don't have our own holiday traditions, or that my mother-in-law and I aren't closer. But the truth is, I get to spend time with my husband the majority of the year, so of course he should spend the holidays with his family. And whether or not I'm close with his mom doesn't change the relationship he has with her, or the relationship he and I have. No families are perfect, and if the "escape ladder" comment ends up being the worst thing that happens, at least we can laugh about it. http://bit.ly/2EYspyP

[meanwhileinoz]

10+ People Shared Small Lies That Escalated Really Quick And Became Part Of Their Lives

Telling a lie is never worth it.

You are going to get caught eventually. If you don’t, however, you will have to live with that lie for the rest of your life. This is what happened to the following people. They might have thought “what harm can one innocent lie do?” Apparently a lot.

#1 Guess that is your name now.

My husband’s best friend has a 6 year old daughter that I see often. When she was almost 3 she babbled something to me (I think it was “My friends here!”) and my husband interpreted it as “My friend Steve!” and started calling me Steve in front of her.

Now her whole family call me Steve when she’s around, and she still believes that’s my name. For clarity, I’m a female and my name isn’t anything close to Steve.

–rebel_nature

#2 At least they got free dinner.

I didn’t want to go to dinner with the gang from work, including my boss, so I told them I was having dinner with my wife and her parents. Of course, It was lie.

I get home, wife wants to go out to dinner. So, we head to the restaurant, and just as we’re getting near the door, I see the work gang with my loudmouth boss all piling out of their cars. What are odds of us picking the same restaurant? Shit. Busted.

There was an old couple walking into the restaurant in front of us. I held the door for them, and insisted they join us for dinner. They were quite perplexed, but accepted my offer of a free dinner.

It was the most uncomfortable dinner ever. They had no clue who we were, none of us had any shared interests… they rushed through dinner, thanked us, and got the hell away from what I’m sure they thought were a couple of weirdos.

–disgustipated

#3 Happily pay full price?

I became friends with one of the managers at Panera. One day as I was giving a cashier my order, he told her to give me the same discount as they give to firemen, police and paramedics, i think.

He just chose this discount as it was an easy button to push on the register. Well this cashier really thought I was a fireman. I’m not. So for the next two years this cashier gave me the discount.

Even if she wasn’t serving me, she would go out of her way to tell the cashier that was helping me, “He’s a fireman, give him the discount”. It snowballed into such an awkward situation that I didn’t know how to get out of it. Luckily that cashier eventually transferred to another store and I now happily pay full price.

–Steve0512

#4 You can never lie forever.

Living in a College Town, every year around spring graduation there’s one or two “I’m here to see my kid graduate, but I haven’t been able to locate them” families. Usually kids that stopped going, pocketed their parents money, and/or just gave up and couldn’t handle telling the family.

It ends sadly sometimes.

That’s a big lie/deception to deal with and maintain. It almost always comes to a head.

–YunalescaSedai

#5 Well, you’re not technically lying?

When I was 14 years old I played with a group of other kids on stage during the 2008 Hawaii International Ukulele Festival. Jack Johnson was performing and we were behind him strumming along.

Hundreds of us. This story has turned so thoroughly into-I played on stage side by side with him just the two of us- that I can’t correct people anymore and just shamefully accept the oohs and ahhs when it gets retold.

–Axinyew

#6 You have to lie to your boyfriend’s mother.

Once my boyfriends mom asked me if I liked their bathroom soap. It’s lavender, I don’t like lavender. But I decided to tell her “I love it, it smells so good!”

Now I have an endless supply, she buys me some all the time. It’s too sweet to tell her the truth, so I just keep it to myself and use the mediocre-smelling soap.

–Llebanna

#7 Name change? No worries!

Back in High School, someone in my freshman English class thought he heard someone call me Louis, so he started calling me Louis. Not really a friend, just someone I spoke to on occasion.

Now high school me thought he was just him trying to be funny, and didn’t care to correct him and he continued to call me Louis and whenever I heard him call for me I responded.

It wasn’t until our last week of senior year that he stops me in his tracks and goes. “Someone told me your name isn’t Louis. Is your name Louis?”

“No.”

“I-I’ve been calling you Louis for 4 years! I thought that was your name!”

–Zytherious

#8 Sorry but you got played.

My first relationship. A few days in, then-girlfriend tells me she isn’t ready to go public just yet and if we could just pretend we weren’t together for a few days then she would be ready.

Six months later, I had lied to so many people for her I can’t tell whats real anymore and any time I asked her if we could stop because it was messing with me she refused and argued her way out of it.

Looking back on this fucks with my head to this day. Amazing how much things like that can snowball.

–Terminator_t101

#9 Well, he was certainly polite.

Not me but my Dad. We moved and he was convinced the postman’s name was ‘Ger’ as in short for Gerry. He greeted him by it, nearly every day for about 10 years. We even gave him a Christmas card which he displayed down in the sorting office.

Fast forward and we have a temporary post man, my Mum asking him after a few weeks ‘When is Ger coming back?’ This was met with stunned silence and a puzzled look, with a resounding ‘Who is Ger? No one works in the locality by that name’

Turns out, his name is Declan and he was too nice to correct my Dad for close to a decade.

–Parmersan

#10 Sometimes you have to sacrifice your tastebuds for love.

When I was little, my grandma would make me these horrible frozen chicken tenders filled with cheese. They were just god-awful. Because I am a good grandson, I told her that I loved them.

From then on, every time that I visited her, she would cook me those abominations. Even when I was in graduate school, I would go visit her and for one meal, I would have to slide those gross things down my gullet.

Every time I would say, “Thanks! I love them!” The things we do for love…

–the_planes_walker

#11 Isn’t that illegal?

I was looking for a job and I didn’t want to be a fast food manager anymore so I fluffed out my resume with computer skills I didn’t have. I was contacted by a recruiter who asked me some questions to gauge my abilities and I straight googled the answers as he was asking them.

When I went to the interview, the boss had all of these circuit boards sitting all over his desk. I recognized them as Raspberry pis from Reddit. So I asked what he was using them for. The rest of the interview was just this guy bragging about all of these projects he had going on.

He might as well have been speaking Greek. I just feigned interest and said wow a lot. I’m hired. Who knows how this shit happened but I have literally googled every problem I have been given. Day 543, they still think I know what I’m doing.I’m making 1.5 times what I was making as a manager. I have a GED for chrissake.

–realitygenrator

#12 Although you got a cute duck out of it.

told my parents i bought a duck when I was 20 to tease them. I found a picture online of one and sent it to them. Sadly, they believed me. They got overly excited about their “grand-duck” and told my whole family.

I ended up buying a duck…

–ThePolishFish

#13 Yeah, he just moved…for forever.

I did online homeschooling for a few years and there was a forum where you could socialize with other students enrolled in the school. During this time I was big into making music on a DAW I had downloaded.

I didn’t know how to play any instruments, but I could still download different drum beats and guitar riffs from the dev’s website. I shared a few songs with my fellow “classmen” and told everyone that I could play guitar and had a friend that tracked the drums.

Eventually people started asking me for guitar lessons or more songs. I couldn’t keep up the lie so I told them that my friend moved to Africa for a missions trip and would not return for the foreseeable future. But everyone in that forum thought I could play guitar. I couldn’t, and still can’t play to save my life.

–Primitive_Teabagger

#14 Such a good friend he is.

A new coworker of mine tried downplaying his birthday and eventually after me hounding him about why he didn’t like celebrating, he eventually told me in confidence that his best friend was killed on his birthday and he hates thinking about it.

Fast forward 8 years — this guy and I had become really good friends. Best friends. Lived together at one point. He was accepted into my friend group and I always made sure to downplay his birthday (his is 4 days after another friend) so we just did a group thing and never made a big deal about it.

Finally someone got brave enough and wanted to talk to him about it, and he laughed and had no recollection of telling me that and said he was probably just screwing with me. He always wondered why no one wished him happy birthday.

–jackrack1721

#15 It seems harmless enough.

I moved to a new city, and got a new dentist. For some reason, the guy thinks I used to see him at his old practice in a town I’ve never lived in. I corrected him a couple times, but he just keeps bringing it up, so now I just kind of roll with it.

He asks after my parents, which is easy enough…but we’ve had all kinds of conversations about local restaurants I’ve never been to and other random stuff like that.

–Davran

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