#and also that i can forgive beth for the cheating bc she did it with her crime hubby and that's hot while dean is involved in dean cheating

[lemoncupcake]

beth and rio: is it cheating? a (weak) analysis by yours truly

so, a couple of months ago i was thinking about how in fiction cheating is basically always justified and decided to send a message to megan @foxmagpie asking for her opinion on whether or not beth and rio hooking up in 2x04 and 2x09 counted as cheating on beth’s part, which she still hasn’t answered :( (i mean, i’m being a brat, but i totally get it, i can’t imagine answering as many asks as you do, on top of like having a life lol)

today i was watching some youtube videos about the nuclear revenge and surviving divorce reddit forums, which reminded me of this topic again. and now i’m procrastinating doing my uni work while waiting for class to start, so i thought, why not write about my thoughts on the subject?? and if megan or anyone else also wants to add theirs too, even better!!

so, yeah, this is a long-winded way to say that under the cut you’ll find my thoughts on if beth was cheating on dean when she had sex with rio in 2x04, 2x09 and 4x06.

a warning: i did not rewatch anything to write this. i’m just typing this out while i wait for class to start with no preparation whatsoever. so, if i forget something, i’m sorry. feel free to tell me what i forgot and why you think it changes things (or doesn’t) :)

my hypothesis: 4x06 was cheating, but 2x04 and 2x09 were not

my supporting evidence for 2x04:

in 1x04, beth says she should “get on that”, with “that” being the fact that she’s still dean’s wife, which imo can be read pretty much exclusively as her wanting to get a divorce aka the relationship is over and therefore she can not cheat on him. if she’d hooked up with rio directly after this, it wouldn’t be cheating.

of course, directly after that dean lies to her about having cancer, so they don’t end up getting divorced. however, they’re still sleeping in separate bedrooms and i don’t think any scene indicates that beth still has any romantic interest in him, so imo they’re still not together, only co-habitating

by 1x09, they were still sleeping in separate bedrooms, but beth has clearly softened towards him and is starting to forgive him, as is made clear by her conversation with annie

in 1x10, dean asks beth to choose whether they’re still together and are going to celebrate their anniversary or not. she chooses to celebrate, ergo they are together

after that, dean gets into a car accident while ogling a jogger and beth finds out he doesn’t actually have cancer from his er doctor. imo, at that point, beth thought the relationship was over

however, after that rio shoots dean and beth feels responsible for it. she doesn’t seem happy that he’s survived in the hospital scene, but she does the most for him during his recovery. dean is sleeping in a hospital-like bed in the middle of their living room, though, so they’re still not sharing a room. you could make the point that it seems like medical necessity and doesn’t have anything to do with their relationship status but i think that if they were together, the bed would be in their bedroom bc they seem to have the space for it, so it being in the living room is telling.

in 2x02, we get a shot of beth in her bed alone in the middle of the night, so still not sharing a bedroom then.

i don’t think we get any relevant info about their sleeping situation in 2x03 and 2x04. in 2x05, obviously, we have that iconic scene of her in the bedroom alone, but i don’t think it necessarily means they’re not sleeping together, dean could have just gotten up before her. i think it’s very unlikely, though,  considering how inept a father and husband he is, that he’d purposefully wake up before his wife to take care of breakfast, especially since he then goes in to bother her about it anyways, but it’s not impossible. personally, though, i do believe that at this point they haven’t shared a bedroom at all since beth first kicked him out of the house in 1x01.

going back to 2x04 itself, beth finds out dean has made bad financial decisions again and then steps up to take care of things. when she succeeds, she and dean go out to dinner together, but imo it’s a business dinner. she begins talking about boland motors right away. if i’m being honest, with the way she reacted to his praise at first, i think dean could have managed to turn it around to becoming a real date, but he fucked it up. it seems to me like beth just let him talk and make bad decisions about what she wanted to drink and eat during the rest of the meal before arranging for them to go to the bar where she’d met with rio earlier in the episode. i don’t think she saw it as a date, but i do think dean did. he clearly had no idea during the other scenes that he’d ruined his chances during the first 5 minutes.

in conclusion: i think they weren’t together in 2x04. dean might’ve thought they were on a date, but beth certainly didn’t. i don’t think we have any of them explicitly say it was one, just that they were going out to dinner. dates are only dates if both people know they’re on a date, so i don’t think it was one. if they weren’t on a date at that moment, then they still weren’t together (based on all the other evidence), so i don’t consider it cheating on beth’s part to hook up with rio at the bar.

now my supporting evidence for 2x09:

dean took the kids and left. his condition for coming back was basically for beth to break up with rio.

it’s clear that when he did come back, they (mostly) reverted back to what had been their status quo during their relationship before s1 started, so i assume that means they are together once he comes back.

the condition for dean coming back was that beth give up crime/rio. when she was having sex with rio she hadn’t yet done that and dean hadn’t come back. ergo, she and dean were not together and therefore she wasn’t cheating.

now my supporing evidence for 4x06:

it’s pretty clear in 3x01 that beth and dean went back to their previous roles after beth thought she killed rio in 2x13.

she has sex with dean on-screen in 3x03 and tries to seduce him again in 3x07 (? not 100% sure, but around that time).

in 3x11/4x01, she and dean are starting a new family business together. yes, she’s lying to dean about rio’s involvement, but that is neither here nor there. she doesn’t actually seem particularly happy about rio’s involvement and the fact that she calls dean an idiot doesn’t take away from the fact that to him she’s taking a new chance on him.

in 4x02, dean snuggles her, so they’re clearly still sleeping in the same bed (this shift initially happens during the s2-s3 time jump).

in 4x05, she gets dean out of jail.

in 4x06, i’m pretty sure we see dean in the bedroom again and then after hooking up with rio she tells him what’s going on with the secret service (which, imo, is a very stupid idea but especially so bc they did it within earshot of the kids)

based on this, i think beth and dean are together in 4x06. therefore, her having sex with rio this time around is cheating. 

now, onto the most important part: do i care?

i mean, the whole reason i was thinking about this so much was because of it’s relation to how much tv/movies/books glamorise cheating. it’s ok because the significant other is a cheater too, because they’re an asshole, because they’re just plain boring and it’s clear that the character cheating is actually in love with the character they’re cheating with, so poor significant other but what could you expect? which, you know, sucks. i mean, i remember how much rory cheating on her boyfriend in a year in the life (among other things, they did her no favours in the revival) made me dislike her. i mean, she forgot the poor guy even existed!! but, you know what, i’m gonna side with the media on this one. hypocritical of me, i know, but i just hate dean that much. i hope beth divorces him soon and in the mean time i’m glad he got cheated on because he deserves it :)

[malakhai-ozera]

Discord Thread || Khai & Emily

Discord thread featuring: Malakhai Ozera & Emily Davis ( @warmvlbes )

When: August 4th

Mentions: @dammitdorian

Description: Khai and Emily text to meet at the grind. They meet up and she ends up slapping him and throwing coffee in his face.

TEXTS

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ Are you up

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ Kinda What’s up?

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ I’m sorry I called you pathetic

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ It’s fine. You’re not wrong.

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ It wasn’t nice I’m just- angry

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ I know you are I deserved it

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ I know neither one of us can predict any kind of future but...I do have it in my heart that you find your way back to me. just right now, shit is hard You really really hurt me this time

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ I didn’t do it intentionally Emily. I loved being with you, and I loved you the best way I knew how. I just couldn’t seem to fill that void in me and I truly am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and the more I tried not to the more I did I’m legit falling asleep off and on so if I stop responding I do apologize. But we can definitely talk more later.

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ fill what void? Khai you never gave me a chance to fill any kind of void. We officially dated maybe 2 day’s before you gave up on me and here you are doing it again. You always thought about yourself and only yourself and put others before me every single time. What you did was so fucking shitty because I was never your first choice Khai. Not once. And then to turn around and give that chance to someone else? Guess what. You’re still hurting me.(edited) You also keep saying everything past tense. Can you not? Last night you told me you still love me so stop using “loved”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ Also just to add, That chance of us being together again will have to be granted by me. Because I don’t trust you at all and it’s going to take a lot before i ever do again. I’m sorry.

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ I was talking past tense like before.

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ K

AT THE GRIND

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ

“I do love you Emily. I care about you a lot. I’m just not in love with you right now”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “That’s literally because you’re focused on everyone BUT me. You are the only person to blame”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Too much has happened and it was my fault yes. But we just need space”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “I’m fully aware of that Khai which is why I stayed away but you always came back and fed into it. this time, if you come back, mean it Khai”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Because I did want you”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “Yeah well you didn’t act like it”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “I tried. I wanted to be with you and I wanted to be happy. I wanted to make you happy. There was always just this piece of me craving something else. I tried to be honest about it and I told you I was scared. I’m not the best with expressing my feelings but I really tried”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “Khai you lied so many times tho. Even this time. you literally didn’t give me a fighting chance at all. You left me out. You put me on a back burner. you put everyone before me. You’re even doing it now.”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Because it’s easier”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “You...really SHOULDNT have said that Khai. that’s hurtful”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “I’m just trying to be honest”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “And that just confirms that i was nothing to you. Well thanks for that”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “That’s not true. You are not nothing to me. I just like guys”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “...so what you’re gay now? You’re completely closing me out after leading me on? Seriously? Did I fucking sign up to be your beard?”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Kinda... I’m bisexual. You’re not my beard Emily”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ “okay then shut the fuck up and quit acting like me having a pussy wasn’t enough. bc you basically are like “well I like guys so you take a back seat Acting like I didn’t already know you were bi. Fuck outta here It’s not an excuse to literally push me back so you get your fix. and it doesn’t excuse any of your actions”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Idk what to say anymore. I’m trying to be honest and open and I just keeps getting twisted”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ It’s not getting twisted. I’m telling you it doesn’t excuse what you did Khai doesn’t excuse any of it.

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ0 “I know that. Nothing I did was okay. I’m just trying to tell you where I was coming from”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈08/04/2020 “Okay and while that’s great, I’m letting you know it doesn’t make it better. Nor does it excuse the behavior. It’s just all around fucked up.I’m Bi too And wasn’t sleeping with women to get my fix”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “You’re bi?”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “Yes”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Interesting”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “I dated beth when I first moved here. Not that it’s your business. but that’s bc she and I just didn’t work and she left me due to her own problems.”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Well we all know I have my own problems”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “yeah but beth didn’t do the things you did and neither did I. What you did was cruel. And cold hearted. And selfish. I love you Khai but you’re gonna have to give me time to forgive you, okay?”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “I know I’m selfish, and I know I can cruel. But I honestly wasn’t trying to be. I wanted to be with you and be with others too. It’s what I’m used to and I’m sorry. I always felt like I was constantly trying to prove something or change who I was. It was just too much... and then Bradford. I just needed to break away from it all. We were always fighting and it was ruining us. I didn’t want that. But I knew if I just kept asking for space i would just come back anyway”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “Khai...we were fine In Bradford. And we even agreed to the 30 min rule. Don’t bullshit me. And we fought bc you never kept your word”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “Yeah I know we did. But then I met someone who just changed things”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “Dude fuck you and your cheater bullshit. I’m so over it. Again, giving someone a chance before I even could. here’s to space. You’re a shitty person Khai. And you weren’t even honest with me about that until just now. Enjoy Dorian you kiss ass. And enjoy the song.”

ღ 𝕂нαι ღ “I didn’t cheat. What the fuck? Where not ever together.”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “You schemed behind my back you low life piece of shit. All that shit you fed me in Bradford, a fucking lie. Take your god damn bracelet slaps him hard. And you stay the fuck away from me!!!! Love me my ass. Fuck you khai” throws her iced coffee on him and walks out

[silkthreaded-blog]

[21/09/2016 18:52:47] vicky: alright, lauren; seeing as you softblocked me on twitter, i’m taking this as my invitation to dump this all on you.

i’m annoyed, i’m upset, and i’m pissed off.

i’m sure pam already told you exactly what i said, because i asked her to, but i’m going to go ahead and explain everything to you and give you my feelings on everything. i’m blocking you everywhere after i send this, so don’t even bother trying to respond to me or trying to contact me, not even through our mutual friends. don’t take this outside of anyone who already knows about it either, because i’m not opening my mouth about this except to my small group of friends that know (bc i need to vent, and i’d imagine you do too), so i’d appreciate it if you kept this private. because if not, i will gaslight you for violating my privacy, i’m not going to tolerate this from anyone anymore, not after anja. this isn’t a negotiation or a confrontation, this is just me giving you information that i want you to know and i’m leaving it at that. for the longest time, i’ve had a bad opinion of you, and when we talked it out i thought we had the opportunity to build a friendship on top of that. but i guess you didn’t think so, and you were being nice to me simply for the sake of being nice rather than any desire to get to know me. and from what you’ve seen, you don’t really like me; not to say you ever said this (but i wouldn’t care if you really did not like me, you could’ve said so instead of wasting my time), but you said that we would never get along which pretty much made the implication. but, i’m not here to put words into your mouth. i’m saying this because i wanted to find a solution for all parties involved, and you refused it. i’m going to explain to you why that made me very, very angry; we’re at a level where i’m never going to forgive you for this, and i have no hope in the future for any sort of even neutral relationship. you’ve wronged me severely in the past and i was willing to let that go in order to forgive you, and every time we tried to work out those issues, it felt like i was the one who had to apologize. i was in a bad place mentally when that entire wankfest first happened, but i was TRYING to get better, and having my entire friend group sit on my back and demonize meand make me out to be a horrible person didn’t help. i was suicidal and i did NOTHING to any of you, but every time i went to fix the problem, it was always ME having to apologize. you all wronged me, and i forgave everyone in the end after i got the help i needed. when we recently talked over anja, you fully had my forgiveness, and i thought we could potentially be friends. i’m spacy and i have a problem with forgetting to message people; just because i didn’t frequently talk to you didn’t mean i disliked you. but now, i’m not interested in any further contact BECAUSE i’m extremely angry about this entire thing, so now it’s safe to make that assumption.

i agree, lauren. we don’t get along, but i didn’t want that to be the case. every time i think we find an even ground, somehow i still get cheated out of something, and i’m tired of it. i’m not going to continue to be silent about this, considering you already know about it anyway.

pam was my best friend, i was hers, and you knew that. everyone in the group knew that we were inseparable. before it was the group with amy and beth and everyone else, it was me and pam. that group thing made our friendship suffer because pam contributed to that nasty mob mentality, but she apologized for it and felt horrible because I WAS HER BEST FRIEND and she knew she wronged someone who meant so much to her. when i dropped everyone to deal with my issues, you stepped in and you essentially took my place. there’s no other way i could possibly word this, you literally replaced me. and i got depressed over it. pam said that you didn’t replace me, but i’m not an idiot. the frequent skype calls and chatting? all the matching blogs? the matching twitters? hm.

i went to pam and i expressed that i wanted her to make more time for me -- i’m positive she relayed all of my feelings on the matter to you, but i’m going to explain everything to you myself, so there are no misunderstandings. i said that i was jealous. i said that the matching stuff constantly in my face reminded me of the friendship i used to have with her, and it upset me realizing that we didn’t have that anymore. i don’t know if you’re aware lauren, but pam and i used to call with each other literally every day. she messaged me every morning when i got ready for school and she called me immediately when i got home. every day. and we called every day on the weekends. i was the person who helped her settle out her sexuality and romantic preferences, i helped her with her mom. i helped her with gabe, i was there for all of it in the beginning. i was her best friend. i explained to pam that i missed having this relationship, and i wanted it back. HOWEVER, i explained that i wasn’t interested in casting you out/pushing you aside, and i wanted to try to do a trio thing so no one felt left out and so we can grow more comfortable around each other/get to know each other, and also have a skype call to discuss everything, and pam agreed with the idea. you didn’t. you didn’t even want to. the only thing you agreed to was the three-way call, but let me tell you why i refused to do it after you told me no. why in the everliving fuck would i want to have a call with you and talk about my feelings of replacement and inadequacy if there was no benefit? what would telling you my feelings do to help me? because as far as i know, you would continue to behave the same after the fact and so would pam, so i didn’t see the point in wanting to waste my time. not to mention, hearing that you said no to the friend idea because we ‘don’t get along’ really ground my gears in more ways than i could possibly describe, because i really thought we could’ve turned our entire relationship around. in an instant, you proved me wrong, and you made me realize that i have no reason to even try to like you because you obviously feel similarly in that department when it comes to me. [21/09/2016 18:52:50] vicky: you said that you were afraid i would replace you, according to what pam told me, and that is where i lead into my second to last point: you feeling like i’m a threat is not fair to me. period. you have no right to say that you’re afraid i’m going to replace you when i was expressing my sadness in the fact that you had replaced me. i think that’s what made me the most angry. in the context of the situation, i felt replaced and to hear that you’re afraid i’ll replace you really made my blood boil. it felt like you replaced me, and when i told pam about this entire problem, i said that i DIDN’T want to push you out (i shouldn’t have been a threat to you), so you having that fear and/or anxiety really pisses me the fuck off. pam told me that she loves us all equally, but i explained to her that it didn’t look like that from an outside perspective, and it definitely didn’t feel like that. and you saying that you were afraid i would replace you was the icing on the cake for me. I FEEL REPLACED BY YOU. I FEEL LIKE I LOST MY BEST FRIEND BECAUSE OF YOU. and i’m allowed to be angry about it. i would say that you’re also allowed to have those feelings if i didn’t already tell pam that i wasn’t interested in making you feel left out. i’m not an asshole, i was never going to take her away from you, but thanks for having that fear, because it made me feel like shit when pam told me.

now, i’m onto my last point. i’m speaking about this one without my personal emotions, whether or not you’d like to believe that; but, your relationship with pam is extremely unhealthy. without revealing too much information, even hinnie was worried about your unhealthy attachment to pam. i was worried about your unhealthy attachment to pam; at least three other people besides us were concerned about it. it’s one thing for me to be jealous and to just say this, but it’s another for people to bring it up on their own to me without me having to even say it first to prompt it out of them. every person who told me this told me completely unprompted, they mentioned it when i explained this entire situation to them. i told pam that she should tell you herself, but that if she didn’t, i would. so here i am. when i talked to pam about this, i told her that she needed to learn how to spend her time without feeling like she needs to cater to people, and that you need to learn how to spend your time on your own. your level of dependency on pam is unhealthy and it’s not working for you, pam, or everyone else around you. as a result of this codependency, pam is taking a longer time growing and developing (she’s turning 17 soon, she NEEDS this time to herself most importantly) and you don’t know what to do when she’s not around. you have a lot of things going on that you need to deal with; maybe you ARE dealing with them, i don’t know, but lauren, you need help. not just a friend, but you need to work on finding a way to cope with your mental illness without the presence of a friend. pam’s getting busy with school and she’s getting stressed out, she shouldn’t be spending every second of every day trying to communicate with you because her life comes first, and you need to respect that. before you call my hypocritical because i used to talk to pam everyday, that’s different. her workload was not the same back then, and even then i encouraged she did her work. she’s a high school junior now, she literally can’t afford to be slacking during this year because it’s the hardest + it’s the year that counts. and when she’s NOT available for whatever reason, you need to learn how to redirect your attention instead of relying on other people. it’s fine to have friends, but you need to reconsider whether or not you should use them as crutches when they have their own lives to figure out still. i’m not talking about my jealousy, bc even after i calmed down about this entire thing, i still believed it: your codependency with pam is unhealthy and you need to figure out how to deal with it in a way that improves your mental health. i’ve expressed my discomfort about this and my concern to pam, and if pam really does care about your wellbeing, she’ll work on this too for the greater good. because i sure as hell won’t stop bringing it up when i feel i need to.

anyway, long story short, this is where i stand on the matter. i’m going to work on what i need to do to improve my happiness. if i need to drop pam for it, then so be it, but i don’t really want to. and i shouldn’t have to because someone got anxious about me replacing them when i said i never would. actually, i shouldn’t have to drop pam, period. if you respect me even a little, you should be considerate of my feelings and work on yourself + try to leave some wiggle room for me as well. when i said i didn’t want to replace you, that was me being considerate of your feelings. the part of me that still held a good opinion of you would’ve hoped for the same thing.

sorry for dumping this on you, and if this caused any kind of panic attack, i’m sorry. i genuinely am. but i’m not going to keep my mouth shut about this anymore; i’m taking action, and you need to be prepared for it.