#and also saw bits and pieces how L WORE LIGHT'S WATCH ALL THROUGHOUT THE NOVEL

[astersofthesky]

It's been hours since I discovered that this exists and yet it still feels so surreal. L felt such huge anguish that his heart was aching inside his chest at failing to save Maki from being kidnapped and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "Light... It hurts. My heart—" and honestly, I felt like being punched repeatedly on the gut because this is honestly... *breathes* I am in awe and in disbelief because why would L speak Light's name like this, when Light was the reason why he's dying now?? Why would he confide in him, when Light had only shown him fakeness and lies since they met. It's so easy to think of all the evil things Light had done to him yet L doesn't think of any of those things.

He wasn't even thinking in this scene because all he can register is how his heart hurts and that it was telling him to speak Light Yagami's name, no matter how absurd, how silly, or how pathetic it seems. Because like Light, people NEVER sought him beyond the great detective L. No one bothered to know him beyond the gothic letter on their screens. Which honestly, isn't their fault because L kept them at arm's length.

But somehow, someone forced L's arm to minimize that distance and he's left with Light and his deceptive yet all-knowing eyes that managed to understand L. And it's so effin funny that a twisted individual like Light was the only person to actually see beneath the iceberg that is L. The one that caused his demise. It's so sick and ironic that Light is the one person who L thinks can understand his pain. He didn't think of Watari, his father-figure.

He thought of Light. Because at this place, at this point, he knew no one would understand his pain, his ideals, his everything, the way they didn't understand Light and his twisted sense of justice and his genuine distaste for the judicial system and how childish his black-and-white morality is EXCEPT L himself.

He called Light's name because deep down he knew, only Light would be able to understand the pressure and the lies the facade he'd been wearing all this time.

It's honestly insane how these two has something worse than romance, and that no matter what universe, no one really wins because all that is left of the other is the empty, shallow void caused by the other person's non-existence.

Lawlight, you both got some toxic codependent sht and honestly i'm here for it.