#and also i can't find the particular fastenings that made me like it in the first place by themselves

[itstimeforstarwars]

Hatred of pleather vs love of certain hot topic designs: fight.

[littleeyesofpallas]

So i did a little thing on Kensei and his biker motif and that included his hollow form looking like he was made out of car parts. and i figure I might as well tackle Mashiro's hollow form now, since it's adjacent.

To start with, it should be noted that Mashiro has a whole thing going on with her right out the gate. Unlike the other Visored who all seem to have adopted some kind of passably human attire, Mashiro is out here running around in a super hero suit... The outfit itself pulls from some pretty clear influences:

The little stripey things down the chest are a look taken from Himitsu Sentai Goranger, the 1971 live action super hero show. In the team of five, each ranger has a number and a matching number of stripes down either side of the suit's front fastening zipper. Where as the ascot+jumpsuit is verymuch the definitive Kamen Rider aesthetic. It's also possible that her weird giant goggles and even her green hair are also meant to evoke the general look of Kamen Rider's helmet.

(it's really weird that her goggles just sort of sit on her head? they don't even appear to be connected to one another, let alone to her head... The only reason I even really identify them as goggle is actually because of her TBtP design replacing them with regular sunglasses, which retroactively makes it clear that they're definitely meant to be eyewear. (even if she never wears them, like some sort of digimon protagonist))

And, as usual, I've mentioned before(because i'm a broken record) that these are contemporary sources, as both shows came about in the 1970s, and are foundational works in the tokusatsu genre, and consequently the building blocks of the Power Rangers franchise. But I want to elaborate on that because there's a lot of cool trivia in there...

Both shows were created by legendary mangaka Shotaro Ishinomori, who was also the creator of the 1960s manga, Cyborg 009. Cyborg 009 also featured a team of uniformed, scarf wearing cyborg supersoldiers. In fact, Cyborg 009 is basically the first Japanese superhero team.(and remains an enduring classic, even as continual remakes and reboots in the past decade have butchered it....)

The uniforms, the 5 man team, the helmets/masks, the heroic scarf/ascot, the team poses(and the solo poses), the evil organizations and monsters of the week, the "<insert name> KICK!" all stem from this one man's body of work. So she's not just a throwback to one particular set of characters or shows, or even one person's body of work; her look really is quintessentially THE image of a Japanese superhero.

Anyway the original Kamen Rider helmet is designed after a grasshopper and thus has the big compound bug eye lenses --even as the later series drifted away from the bug theme, the iconic eye shape has stayed-- which is why Mashiro has the big goggles, as well as why her mask has the giant eye holes --Also the heart shape of the mask is a throwback to the heart shape of the Pink Ranger in Goranger.

As a grasshopper, the original Kamen Rider's finishing move was the now famously imitable RIDER KICK! And in every subsequent iteration, some variation on the Rider Kick has remained the Kamen Rider signature move. And this in turn is why Mashiro's hollow has a whole legs and kick focused thing going on.

Incidentally though, there's a whole thing about her demeanor that doesn't just echo the superhero look from the 70s; With her energetic and childlike demeanor, it seems like the indication is that she dresses this way very earnestly. She isn't just dressed in a way that makes her look like a superhero to us as readers, she looks like someone who is trying to dress like a superhero, even to other people in-world. On the one hand she probably reads most readily as a cosplayer, but I feel like the implication here is that she actually thinks she is/wants to be a super hero.

Also, not to dip too far into headcanon, but given the way the Visored were first introduced as a rag tag looking bunch of misfits, it really seemed like the implication was they all got their powers separately and sought eachother out only after struggling with their own inner hollows; Essentially just mirroring Ichigo's experience... That they, while human, started turning into hollows. They fought off the hollow process resulting in giving them shinigami powers. but they struggled with a growing inner hollow, until someone showed up and offered to teach them to control the mask.

Also, there was that real ominous throw away exchange where Mashiro brings up that the first time she pulled out her own mask it lasted 15 consecutive hours. and Kensei didn't believe her, as if he wasn't around when it happened, or isn't even closely acquainted enough to just know it as a personal fact... Obviously that's contradicted much later when the TBtP has her as his former lieutenant, but it has a few vague implications...

Mashiro: ね—ね— ベリたん���さ何でこんなことしてんだっけ?

Hey~ hey~ Why's Berry-tan doing this?

Kensei: 虚化状態を長時間キ—プする為の訓練だよオメ—もやったろ

It's training to keep Hollow state for a long time. You did it too

Mashiro: あたしやってないモン

I did not

Kensei: ンだと? ウソっけ...

What? That's a lie...

Shinji: ホンマや白は最初から15時間以上虚化できたからなァ一人だけ虚化保持訓練してへんねん

it's true. because Mashiro was able to Hollowize for more than 15 hours she's the one person who didn't do Hollow state training

As always there's just a lot to be reckoned with when it comes to any number of swerves that happened in the middle of the Arrancar arc, but given the implications of how the hollow mask really works, we're lead to believe the mask's overall power and effectiveness is one of two things...

Either, like the zanpakutou spirits, they're a matter of making peace with the reflection of the inner self.

OR it's possible that the mask correlates to a total lack of balance, and just embracing the selfishness

this would btw more readily address the initial conflict between old man Zangetsu and the inner hollow, as they're of course still one and the same, but Ichigo needs to accept and embrace the negative side of his inner self in order to make peace with both of them.

Anyway point being Mashiro's apparent lack of a need for training would suggest she's super in tune with her hollow? Given her childish and hyperactive personality, it might just be that she's so immature that she doesn't have much of an inner conflict. She wants to dress like a superhero? So she does. She's confused? she whines and asks annoying questions about it. She's frustrated or unhappy? She rolls around on the floor and throws a goofy little tantrum. She doesn't have shame or hangups or a part of her she wants to repress, she's exactly who she is.

Which makes me think that if they had just been a ragtag group that goes around recruiting new Visored when they find them, like they did with Ichigo(instead of just one group that had always been together, which was just a boring explanation) then I can't help but imagine that when they found Mashiro, she must have been running around in her human life actually being a superhero.

Oh right, and Kamen Rider is so named because he rides a motorcycle. So Mashiro's partyl based on a motorcycle riding hero, and the TBtP made Muguruma a biker gang leader. Which explains why they thematically fit on the same squad. But is hollow Muguruma supposed to be hollow Mashiro's iconic hero bike?

[bananakarenina]

tell me more about what you learned about mourning traditions *chinhands*

<3 <3

So I have googled some version of "regency mourning traditions" like eleventy billion times writing this fic in particular, because as we know, Reggie & Julie have lost a decent number of people close to them. Disclaimer that obviously I am not a historian.

This blog post was nice and concise re: traditions and had a nifty little chart that I referred to mostly because it was fairly cut and dry re: timelines.

Generally people know about the wearing-black-while-in-mourning thing; it obviously survives today re: funerals, but what I found interesting was the fabrics and embellishments piece--any buttons or fasteners needed to be inconspicuous, and fabrics were dull or at least not as shiny as usual (ie crepe silk v. silk charmeuse). Like your clothes were supposed to reflect that the light and shine had gone out of your life. None of that made it into the fic, but it's def what I found interesting bc that's the costume designer in me, haha.

Julie and Ray would have mourned for a full year--Julie didn't go to musicales or anything social for that year, and she didn't make her debut on time either (in my head her sixteenth birthday was during the mourning period.) The blog post above says you could shift to half mourning (lavender and gray and such) halfway through your mourning, but I extended it to a full year for Julie because it's more dramatic that way, lol. Sorry, Julie.

Ray would have been expected to be in mourning for that year (& wear those black gloves & cravat I mention in the story, perhaps a black armband) but also attend to his business as Marquess of Los Feliz. Just no social things, it seems. In the story I mention that he still wears those black gloves & cravat even six years later, which was my way of saying Ray Will Never Be Over It.

Now things re: Luke's passing get murkier. From what I could find, Reggie probably would have worn black gloves or a black cravat (like Ray above) but only for like, a week/long enough for the funeral? There weren't really clear guidelines re: your best friend that you're subconsciously in love with, but in my head, Reggie mourned publicly for as long as he could, which wasn't long considering they weren't (blood) family. And Julie & Luke weren't engaged or betrothed in any sort of official capacity, so her mourning was probably also truncated that way. Which obviously just adds to the angst.

Another interesting (and infuriating) thing I discovered, though I can't find the source now: Supposedly there were superstitions re: women and hallowed ground, as in women did not attend burial services because cemeteries were considered hallowed ground, and women were...unclean? bad luck? Again, can't find the source. So Julie could have attended Luke's or her mother's funeral mass but not any memorial service or burial done at a cemetery.

[lavieestbelleatleastonmostdays]

14th February , 2017

I know by now I should be 'old enough' to talk about my worries or feelings in general with my friends but I just can´t. So here I am sitting on my bed with the journal in my hands. Today is Valentine's Day aka one of my most hated days (besides Mondays obviously) of the year. Two years ago I would have never thought that I'd feel this way but if your ex-boyfriend doesn't show up for your Valentines date a year later and breaks up with you over the phone like a freaking coward. A day like this leaves a scar inside of you and a sour taste in your mouth. I still know how my tears tasted on my lips after I allowed myself to cry in the arms of my best friends.

Dear diary,

It's just so hard to deal with after every memory we shared together. I gave him my heart, my soul and my body and he just threw it threw me away like some trash he found on the street.

I know I sound bitter and mad but the anger I felt that day is gone but what's left now is disappointment and the lack of knowledge why he ended things like this. I can't even say that I hate him or that I never want to see his face again because it would be a goddamn lie.

My friends always tell me that I´m too good to be true but I believe nobody , you´ve once loved dearly , deserves to be hated.

I actually wish him -

'knock knock'

“Areum !!!” Jackson yelled from the other side of my door while knocking so hard that I thought the door will collapse. “I really hope you are ready by now or otherwise we will miss the beginning of the movie. “

“Yes, I am ready Jackson so you can stop knocking. Just let me put on my jacket and we can go.” I screamed back at him while swinging my ass off my bed to grab the jacket I´ve thrown on my chair.

“Oh you finally made it. That´s a really damn miracle. Now we have to hurry. Elena is already waiting for us at the cinema.”Jackson said while sending a quick message to her that we were on the way.

Only music filled the silence in the car. Jackson tried to talk to me the whole time but my answers were short and void of any emotion. He stopped trying to talk to me so my mind could drift of to a pretty dark place in my heart which was way too familiar. I felt suffocated. Tears were dwelling in my eyes while they scanned the cars and people who were passing by.

I know I shouldn't be like this. Especially since Elena and Jackson tried so hard to replace this twisted and fucked up memory with a good one. I´m really grateful to call those two my friends I really appreciate their patience with me but as simple as it sounds to replace the bad memory of a day with a good one. As hard it is to actually let it happen.

As soon as we went into the cinema we were greeted with the familiar smell of buttery popcorn and nacho cheese. My stomach growled loudly enough so that Jackson heard it. He put his arms around my shoulders while he laughed and guided me to the corner Elena was waiting for us. My eyes already drifting to the counter which held all the delicious treasures.

“Hey guys.” Elena greeted us with a bright smile and pulled us into a hug. “You´ve made it just on time. I already bought our tickets. Now let's get some snacks before Areum drowns us in a sea of her saliva.”, she said in a joking manner.

“ HEY ! I´m so not going to drown you in my saliva but this smell guys. This is the best.”

“ We know Areum. “, they both answered with a chuckle. “Let's fill your little tummy with all of this tasty goodness.”  

The movie my friends invited me to was about a former couple in their early twenties. At first they were best friends in high school but they eventually fell in love with each other but on one particular date night the guy never showed up. He just left her a voicemail to tell her that he can´t be with her. Some years passed by and the scars the man left on the heart of the woman healed slowly. So she and a friend of hers planned a holiday trip to the Maldives. She went on a boat trip all alone to give her friend some time for herself and she knew that she gets seasick easily. But life sucks sometimes so as soon as she went onto the boat she looked into the eyes of the guy who ripped her heart out years ago. Funny how life can be this cruel. The boat belonged to him. She tried to ignore him for the most time but everytime he moved in a particular way her eyes glanced his way. While her eyes were roaming over the expanse of the sea he walked over to stand beside her. He cleared his throat and began to explain why he behaved like this years ago. The guy knew his actions hurt her deeply but just didn't see any other way. They both talked about all the mistakes they’ve made in their relationship.

While the movie on the screen in front of me came to an end my thoughts were going into overdrive. ‘What if I’ll meet him again someday ? Will he also explain his actions to me like the guy in the movie did ? How would I react ? Will I be as calm as the movie or is my heart going to shatter even more ? I wonder if he changed or would he still recognize me ? ‘

“Yo Areum ! Are you still with us or are you already in a food coma ?” Elena and Jackson joked while they packed our things together.

I was still stuck in my head so I only mumbled “Before we go I have to go to the toilet. Will you wait in the car for me ?”

“Sure thing hurry up and don’t get lost on your way there.”

“Hahaha you are so funny Jackson.”

“I know Areum that’s why you love me so dearly.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes before I turned around to go to find the restroom. Jokes on me. I got lost. Sometimes I’m just so dumb I can’t even believe it myself.

“Goddamn were is this fucking restroom ? It must be somewhere around here.” I whispered to myself and turned around to go back to my starting point. But while doing so my face met the hard chest of a man. I quickly mumbled an apology while stepping back. The man in front of me didn’t except my apology or even moved. I asked myself if he even breathed but what I was well aware of was the fact that I could feel his eyes on me. Just as I wanted to pass him the stranger grabbed my wrist which made me look up at him. My eyes looked into a familiar pair I only knew to well.

“Hey Areum, long time no see.” My eyes widened. ‘This can’t be possible.’  

This voice which made me feel calm and safe a long time ago and these eyes I could have drowned myself in. This must be a bad dream. Kim Namjoon can’t be here after he left me a year ago.

“Fuck.” I said under my breath.

“What did you say ? “ Namjoon bowed his head so that we were on eye level while scanning my face. “Won’t you greet me princess ? “ He said while a smile graced his handsome face. His absolutely adoring dimples appeared. My eyes scanned over his face first after I let them wander over his whole body. He looked good way to good. His hair was black and a few strands fell in his face. He wore a pair of jeans paired with a black sweater and a huge cardigan or was it a jacket. I’m not quite sure.

After I was done checking him out I looked back up into his face. I took a deep breath and wetted my lips before I answered, “No you don’t deserve to be greeted by me after you teared my heart apart like this.” I tried to stay as calm as possible even if my heart sounded like it will jump out of my chest. “You just left me without any explanation and you expect me to greet you with open arms. Namjoon am I a fucking joke to you ?” His eyes widened and he gulped. “Areum…..I’m --”

“Don’t say that you are fucking sorry.” I screamed at him. “You can shove your damn apology up your ass. I really would appreciate if you can let go of me.” I tried to free my wrist out of his grap but he only fastened it.

“Listen Areum, I know that I deserve that you treat me like this but please..I beg you give me one chance to explain why I acted the way I did.” I could see that he meant what he was saying. His brown eyes were filled with regret and sadness but also disappointment.

“Areum don’t -” Namjoons voice broke and he took a shaking breath. “- please don’t look at me like this.”

“How do I look at you, hm ?”

“Like you want me to disappear forever. No this is not right. You look at me like you wished you would have never met me.”

“Maybe that’s exactly what I want.”

“Liar.” I lowered my lids to shield my eyes from him and to not let him see the tears who were beginning to form. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to feel anything right now. I just want to go home and to wholeheartedly embrace the warmth of my bed. Why did I have to get lost ? Why did I have to run into him ? My mind was a mess. My heart was racing. It was hard for me to get even air in my lungs. The tears were prickling behind my closed eyes. The only thing I could hear was the thrumming of my heart and Namjoons deep breaths. 

“NAMJOON !” Someone seemed to look for him. I didn’t recognize the voice at first but it seemed like the person was nearby. 

“Namjooooon….”

“I think…” I took a shuddering breath and opened my eyes again blinking the tears away. “...I think one of your friends is looking for you.”

“Areum..” He looked like he was in physical pain. “They can -”

“Oh there you are Namjoon. We looked everywhere for you. “ Now that the voice was right behind him. I recognized it. It was Hoseok one of his best friends. 

“What are you doing here in this corridor. Didn’t you want to go to the restroom ?” Hoseok asked before putting a hand on one of his shoulders His eyes wandered from Namjoon to me and I could see how realization bloomed in his look.

“Oh..I didn’t want to..” Hoseok scratched the back of his neck. “...disturb you. I’m sorry. I will go to the others again.”

“You don’t have to. I was about to go anyway Hoseok but Namjoon won’t let me go.” I said with a forced smile.

“Oh..I thought..”

“It doesn’t matter what you thought. So Namjoon will you kindly let go of my hand or what ?” He let go and his eyes fixed on the ground.

“Thank you.” I whispered while I passed the both of them. “Bye have a good night.”

I heard how Hobi whispered something to his friend.

“Areum..please one last chance and after this you can go back to hating me. That’s what I deserve but please.” I turned around and what I saw shocked me more than anything. Namjoon was kneeling on the ground. Eyes fixed on his hands and his head was bowed. 

“Please.” He begged. His voice was filled with regret and pain. He slowly looked up again and our eyes connected. Now his were filled with tears which looked ready to flow. It hurt me so much to see him like this. I probably looked the same last year. My mind was telling me that I should turn around again and leave him there but my heart whispered ‘Give him the chance. You still have some love for him in you.’ 

My heart won so I slowly nodded and said, “Okay..I will just tell Jackson and Elena that they can go home without me.”

“Really ? You will give me this opportunity ?” Namjoons eyes widened. It looked kinda cute.

“Seems like it. Please don’t let me regret this.”

“You won’t.” He jumped up and a shy smile was forming on his lips.

“Where shall we meet ?” I asked

“At the park nearby ? It’s just around the corner so you  should definitely find it.”

“Okay..See you then.”

I don’t believe that I’m doing this. Why do I always have to listen to my heart instead of my heart. ‘That’s easy girl because you still love him and you always wanted an explanation for his behaviour.’

“YOU WHAT ?” Jackson yelled while I told them about the situation and that I’m going to meet Namjoon. “This freaking asshole..How dare he shows up here and expects you to accept his stupid apology. I always thought he is smart but it seems like he lost some brain cells.”  

"Jackson shut up." Elena said. "I bet Areum has her reasons and thought this through."

I could only nod because in my head I was already in the park. I really hope this won't be a disaster. 

"Guys.." I whispered. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you. Thank you for everything. But I have…" I was on the verge of tears again "..I have to meet Namjoon. I need an explanation and answers to my questions and this is probably my only chance." 

"I understand you Areum. I hope you won't regret this decision and I'm kinda proud of you that you listened to your heart instead of your mind." Elena said and when I looked at her a proud smile was plastered on her face. 

"I don't think it's a good idea because I don't want to see you so devastated again but you won't listen to me." Jackson complained.

"I won't." 

"See so why am I even trying to hold you back."

"Because you are a great friend Jackson." I smiled and went to him to pull him into a hug. 

"I already know this but shouldn't you listen to me if I'm this great of a friend." I chuckled.

"Probably but you know the more you tell me I shall not do certain things the more I want to do it. So please bring Elena home and I will text you as soon as I'm home after the talk."

After I let Jackson go I got pulled into a hug by Elena.

"You can do this and I'm pretty sure you both need this talk." She whispered into my ear.

"I know.." She squeezed my shoulders before I took a step back and waved at them when they drove off the parking lot.

'I can do this. Areum don't be a coward. You've wanted an explanation. Now you will get it.’

I walked to the park while my mind felt like a prison. I wasn’t so sure anymore if I made the right decision but I can’t and won’t turn back now. I was a coward for way too long.

As soon as I entered the park my eyes drifted to the spot Namjonn was waiting for me. He was sitting on a bench. His eyes closed and he faced the sky as if he was tanning. He looked like he wanted to calm down. It was quite a sight to behold. I could have stared at this handsome man for eternity. He looked like a bittersweet dream.

I stepped closer and cleared my throat. This made him lower his head and open the eyes.

“You really came.” He sounded a bit surprised and a shy smile lighted up his face but it didn’t reach his eyes nor his dimples appeared which was quite a shame but made things a bit easier.

“Yes. I kind of promised you to give you an opportunity to explain yourself. So here I am or did you really think I wouldn’t come ?” 

“Areum...I really don’t know what I think right now or what I thought when I’ve spotted you in this corridor.”

“Aha...so if you don’t know what to think. I can also go again.”

“NO !” Namjoon grabbed my hand and pulled me on the bench he sat on. For a few minutes we were quiet. I think we tried to untangle our thoughts.

“Areum before I begin to explain everything to you..I want to say..Thank you for giving me this chance. I know it’s not a matter of course.” He took a deep breath and then took both of my hands in his while our eyes found each other. I saw the honesty, regret, hope and pure adoration in his brown orbs.

He took a stuttering breath before he began to speak.

“So the reason why I left you like this was…”