#and also I do not need to be ovulating bc my brain already wants a baby I don't need my hormones makin that feeling worse

[roses-n-rads]

Vent

[prodbyton]

The sun literally still out and I feel like a dirty WHORE bc all I can think about is sub!sohee and sub!reader..

You would’ve thought yall both woke up ovulating or some shit cus the way both of you are so needy for the other’s touch and attention that one of you taking a more dominant role isnt even a thought that crosses either of yalls minds?? Brains just empty as hell, so focused on doing whatever feels good and feeling the most amount of pleasure.

You both are already skin to skin but it isn’t even enough. Hands gripping everywhere and anywhere on each other’s bodies to feverishly pull the other impossibly closer.Every touch only makes you wetter and him harder. You both don’t know wtf has gotten into yall but it all feels so addicting, forget thinking about it too hard.

Both of you almost in daze just kissing sloppy as hell, unashamedly moaning and whining into each other’s mouths, biting lips and sucking on tongues and necks and skin. Every action just making u both a babbling mess. Not even trying to hold back the noises and reactions that you two draw from each other’s bodies cus ur brains been clocked out and r wayyyy past the point of ANY coherent thought.

Completely drunk of the feeling and presence of the other. Just wanting to make the other person feel good. Getting off on knowing damn well that it’s only you, it’s only sohee, that can make such a pathetic mess of the other, something no one else gets the privilege to experience or witness in that moment. (I mean ik sohee is a freaky fucking frog and gets off on fucking and sucking in risky places but we not talking about dat rn!!!)

Accidentally overstimulating each other so bad cus everything just feels sooooo good that stopping didn’t even cross your stupid fucked out minds. The craving you two have for each other’s touch feels almost insatiable.

Like it’s almost greedy and primal and maybe a bit possessive the way the two of you need to feel more and more and more of the other until both of yall eventually tap out.

Sohee makes me so feral idk. All I know is is that im tryna be in the walls of his house like a termite :3

(Hehe also can I be 🍓 anon if u do that kinda thing? I send asks wayyy to often for me to not just give in and give myself a government assigned emoji 😭😭😭 (I’m also the one who sent the audio in too haha I hoped u liked it as much as I did 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭))

you got me feeling like a whore reading this at work 😭 but MY GODDDDD i need this so bad omg ur mind… like i dont even have anything to add this was too good😭‼️

also saying both sohee and yn are ovulating really got me weak but i fw it… like yeah he gotta be ovulating the way he’s so needy :p also calling him a freaky frog icb omg 😭

and yes you can be 🍓 anon!! welcome <3 and thank you for that audio i enjoyed it very much 🫡

[shmothman]

hello! i've had thoughts in my brain about THAT blonde guy and i don't know where else to scream them so i thought i'd share them here where vash receives a lot of love from his fans 😊 but like theres a ton of fic where he's in heat right and those are BOMB fr but what if vash's PARTNER was in heat instead of him 🤔 i dont necessarily mean like biological heat cycles it could also be like they ovulating or sum lmao but i just think it'd be funny if he had to deal with that xjsbxjsbzjsbx

btw ur fics are my Fav ever thank you for posting!! 🩷

^the blond guy in question

first of all, thank you so much!! I’m honored to be the one you come to to share vash thoughts 🥰🥰 second of all:

(nsfw below the cut, 18+ only)

Sjdnsjdjsjdj listen i do already have a few ideas written down that are at least tangential to this, from “Vash’s pheromones are capable of kickstarting something like a heat in a human bc independent plants are bioengineered to be the Biological Bridge between plants and humans” to “literal sex pollen” and by god do i want to explore those in a fic (and plan to!! but i write pretty slowly and i have So Many Ideas, including Yet Another Heat Fic But With Feathers This Time). BUT I will jot some things down here and maybe hopefully come back to this soon 🤣

The thing is, if Vash triggered it in you, he’s going to feel a bit guilty. He knows how inconvenient—and sometimes painful—it can be, and the last thing he wants to do is make anything harder for you. But… well, he’s not going to lie and say that this isn’t the hottest thing he’s ever seen. The love of his life, suddenly insatiable with need? Blushing and fidgeting and hardly able to string words together in your desperation? His pants are already off, don’t worry. He’ll give you whatever you need, for as long as you need it—you don’t even need to ask. Though, he’s drooling almost as much as you are as he asks if you need another, as he takes you apart in every single way he knows how, pushing himself beyond the point of exhaustion just to make sure you don’t have a moment of discomfort, reiterating the entire time how much he loves you. He’s got you, and it’s going to be okay.

[rahleeyah]

Ok so I am totally new to the abo thing but I am very much intrigued in your story Insight and I loved the update today but I have a question!

Sooo… do omegas ever have sex? Or okay… better way to phrase that, can omegas only have sex when “in heat”?

I guess an overall better question is what exactly does it mean to be “in heat”?

If this is like annoying to answer cuz the answer is coming up then feel free to ignore me but, again I’m new to the abo concept and my brain just thinks things man

Appreciate you and all your amazing works!! Much love! 😍❤️

You're not annoying at all and this is a totally valid question. Yes we're gonna go into it more later but there's no harm in digging into it now.

Omegas can have sex whenever they want, they don't have to be in heat. Every fic and every writer is gonna have their own take on it, so some of what I'm about to say is standard and some just applies to the choices I've made for my own purposes in this story, and is all specific to f/m a/b/o stuff the m/m stuff is a whole world of details we're not gonna go into here.

Heat is a regular part of an omegas menstrual cycle - I think for my purposes tho I would say it's not something that happens every month bc that's insane, we'll say it happens like once/twice a year. Like birth control pills can regulate or even stop periods, in this verse there's pills to prevent going into heat. But if a heat does occur, what it is is essentially a period of a few days where the omega is essentially ovulating. She's most likely to get pregnant during this time, but heat comes with an extreme physical response. It's essentially like. Being hypersexual. She needs sexual contact, and will do just about anything to get it. The physical need becomes painful if not met. Debilitatingly painful. And once is not enough, this will go on for days and the need will rise and fall but it will not go away until the heat is over. Some people have mentioned nesting; since heat is sort of intrinsically tied to reproduction, an omega in heat will seek a safe space and make it as warm and comfortable as possible, with her mate/alpha with her. If she's already bonded she's likely to gravitate towards things - blankets, pillows, hoodies, what have you - that smell like her mate to surround herself with. All the senses are heightened during heat - obviously smell plays a big role in all of this and it's bigger during heat. She'll also get physically hot bc her heart's working over time. She's probably gonna wanna just be naked the whole time.

That's essentially it; there's more detail stuff and more about the role the alpha plays in all this but that's probably enough for now 🤣 thank you friend!!

[callioope]

I’ve been vague about what has been going on in my life intentionally, both because I needed to tell some people offline first and because it’s a lot to process. 

But here is what happened: I am in the process of miscarrying.

I thought it might help to share my story. Miscarriage is more common than people realize and rarely talked about. If someone can benefit from my story, all the better, but mostly this is to help my grieving and coping process.

This is pretty detailed, so trigger warnings and all that.

Exactly one month ago, I read the results I had longed for: pregnant.

Today, I’m sprawled out on the couch in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced. 

They don’t tell you that miscarriage is a process.

We’ve been trying to conceive since the end of last June. It was taking so long, I was convinced I’d be scheduling a fertility consultation this coming June. They tell you if you’re under 35, to give it a year. Before we started trying to conceive, I’d tell anyone about how time speeds up the older you get. It makes sense logically, of course, when a year is 1/5 of your life, it sure seems long, but went its 1/32, well... 

But this has been the longest eleven months of my life. The first month we started trying, I had an unusually long cycle. 39 days. I was so sure I was pregnant. My breasts had been hurting for two weeks. Husband and I were vacationing in Minnesota to see Aston Villa play. I bought a pregnancy test, beaming, excited, and was puzzled by the negative result. A week later, when my period came, I cried to my mother, and she said something about the universe saying I wasn’t ready or something. Whatever it was sounded bleak and ominous to my ears. It sounded like it meant I’d never be ready. 

The fall was busy and stressful, and despite all the tedious ovulation test strips, nothing happened except somehow, my period got lighter month by month. I was pretty sure something was wrong with me. I thought I had a UTI. (I was actually stressed and dehydrated, which I eventually remedied.) While I cried at a Sara Bareilles concert in November, my mother told me that her OBGYN said it can take as much at 9 months for the body to recalibrate after being on the pill.

Speaking of which. I’ve been taking the pill for over a decade. For the most part, I took it correctly. There is some leeway to taking it incorrectly, for the record. You can miss two pills in a row and it still has instructions for what to do (while cautioning to be safe and use extra protection). Maybe only once did I ever have to throw out a pack for missing too many in a row. 

(This is maybe neither here nor there, but rebelcaptain accidental pregnancy fics have become a bit of a pet peeve for me. Jyn and Cassian are far too careful and intentional to let that happen, and it is so easy to be responsible since there are so many birth control alternatives these days that don’t even require reliance on routine or memory.)

So, of course, the concern lately is that clearly 10+  years on birth control has messed me up. I do not know this objectively (what I do know is that I have OCD and anxiety and obsess over Everything That Can Go Wrong), but the point is that birth control really can have consequences that I don’t think are necessarily fully understood or studied. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, USE BIRTH CONTROL. My only regret is what I didn’t know.

I learned too late, but a lot of conception advice articles tell you to quit the BC as soon as possible. Even if my mom’s OBGYN is wrong, the general advice does seem to be that it can take up to 3 months for your body to recalibrate. So, if by any chance someone reading this is thinking about conceiving soon, if you take nothing else away from this rant, take this. I wish I had stopped taking the pill a few months before we actually intended to start trying.

After ten months of all this worrying, I finally got what I’d longed for. The moment I saw that positive result, it felt so surreal. There had been little things leading up to that moment, strange hints and signs, like I knew subconsciously even before a test would have been positive. I wrote that Howl’s Moving Castle pregnancy fic before I knew. I started learning “Here Comes the Sun” on my ukulele before I knew (it’s... silly, but I decided I wanted to learn the ukulele because I wanted to be able to play that song for my kids some day). It involves finger picking, so I’d been putting off learning it, but one day I just decided it was time. And finally, I decided to watch the latest season of Brooklyn 99. I’d avoided it because I knew Amy & Jake were also trying to conceive, and it was too emotional for me to watch that when I was so frustrated for how long I was taking. (Of course I didn’t realize they also had trouble, and watching it actually felt cathartic for me.) I got that positive result literally the next morning. 

I spent Monday, April 20, making checklists and spreadsheets. I set my first prenatal appointment for May 8. Those two and a half weeks were the slowest of my life. They stretched out like a rubber band. I couldn’t really focus on anything except this pregnancy I’d waited so long for. That’s probably why time moved so slowly. I wasn’t filling it with the hobbies I enjoyed, writing and playing my ukulele. All my overwhelmed brain could handle was the hilarious distraction of Community. Yeah, this is also around the time I disappeared from fandom. It was originally for a happy reason, I was just too excited to focus!

I know many women who have miscarried. The data seems to vary from source to source, but anywhere between 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I couldn’t wait to get to the doctor to confirm everything was okay. I wondered if they would do an ultrasound; I dreamed of seeing a fetus on that screen.

We started talking about how we were going to tell our family. We wrote a pretend promotion letter for my sister, promoting her from “sister” to “aunt” (she’s a badass at her job and we had recently been talking about her promotions so it was thematically relevant). We planned to do a video call with my parents where we played Quiplash and created custom answers related to the pregnancy. 

But we never got that chance. On May 8, I went in for my first appointment. I’d spent the last three days sewing a mask because the ones we ordered still haven’t arrived yet. So all the time I would have spent preparing myself for the worst (as is my way) was spent instead distracted by sewing and finishing up Community. 

They took me to an office first and went over medical history questions. “Any morning sickness?” the nurse asked. “Not at all,” I said. “Should I be worried?” “No,” she answered. “Consider yourself lucky!” 

(For the record, many women who carry to term do not ever get morning sickness.)

(It was just one of those unfortunate exchanges.)

Then the exam with the doctor. All in all, it’d probably been 30 or 40 minutes by this point, all of this excited talk. I was going to tell my parents on Mother’s Day. My due date was Christmas.

I video call my husband just in time for the ultrasound. 

There was no embryo. 

The doctor said a lot of women are ovulating later in their cycles due to the stress of the pandemic. At the time, I thought maybe. Hope is funny like that, in the face of logic. It started to grow like a weed in the cracks of my breaking heart. 

But the thing is, even with that stubborn hopeweed, I knew. I’d been doing this for ten months. I knew when my last period was, I knew when I ovulated. I was 7 weeks and 1 day, and there was no embryo, and that was it.

The beginning of the process of miscarriage. 

Technically, it’d started a few days before that appointment, but I was distracted at that time. I’d noticed one morning that there seemed to be more hair in the shower floor than there should be. 

Dots started to connect. My breasts had stopped aching. Now, they started to shrink back to their original size. 

This happened over several days. I felt certain I would miscarry on Mother’s Day; fortunately, that did not happen. No, enough days had to pass for that hopeweed to prosper. Only then, when it whispered maybe would I start spotting and cramping. 

On Tuesday, the second ultrasound confirmed what I already knew. Not viable. Missed miscarriage. Technically, the prescription the doctor hands me reads “missed abortion.” “It’s just the technical term,” the doctor explains, acknowledging that many women might find this triggering. 

I don’t cry as much as I did. I only cry when I tell people. It seems important for people to know, just in case. Just one person in the relevant circles of my life. I had to tell my boss to explain the sudden uptick in unexpected doctor appointments. (I’m Rh negative, so I needed to go to the hospital to get bloodwork and a Rhogam shot -- and being in a hospital these days in anxiety-inducing enough without this trauma.)

It still feels surreal. All of this happened in one month. Somehow my life has changed completely and then reverted back. This is just a blip in my life, relatively, and yet it seems the longest month of my life.

In movies, in stories, miscarriage seems to go the same way: a flash of bloody sheets, a shout of shock and pain, and then grief. I never knew how it really goes: that it would stretch out for weeks, from the moment I saw that first ultrasound to now, twelve days later, just starting to bleed. I’ll have to go back for another ultrasound to confirm it’s done, and if it’s not, then I’ll need surgery. 

This speaks nothing of the grief. 

And then it’s back to square one, a whole year later: ovulation tests and endless waiting. 

It’s been a whole month; it’s been only a month, and miscarriage is a process.