#and adding everything small like hair ties and all my jewelery to it

[anxiouslyfred]

You Wouldn’t Steal a Movie

for @dukexietyweek‘s day 3 prompt of Pirates, all that��s coming into my head is that antipiracy add on videos. Let’s run with it

Summary: Virgil wanted to be a pirate when he grew up but pirating films and music doesn’t quite fill his dreams. After a small comment about that Remus suddenly wants to pirate a pirate ship and by hell he’ll achieve it.

Warnings: theft, piracy, sexual comments, pining, if there’s anymore let me know

/\/\/\/\/\

Virgil had met Remus when they were in school. They’d been sat next to each other on the first day of class when their teacher decided that the best way to have a successful start was some conversation games. Really they’d just been given quiz sheets of questions to ask each other and had to go through them.

Now Virgil could only remember one of the questions he had been asked since each sheet had held a different selection of questions. Remus had asked what he wanted to be when he grew up and he’d insisted that he’d become a pirate.

Looking back at that excitement and all the games Remus used that sentence to pull him into, Virgil really wished that had just stayed a dream. Instead he was headbutting the desk next to his computer, praying it would play along sometime this decade.

“You know I don’t actually need any more stock this week. What on earth are you attacking the poor desk over.” Remus called, sprawled over their couch upside down. He had been the one to get them into movie and music piracy, opening a market stand up after Virgil worked out the easiest ways to get the movies downloaded.

Remus had insisted it was just like the pirates, only instead of the oceans their seas were websites and movie theaters, and the swordfights were replaced with viruses Virgil had been creating and destroying since he first hacked into their schools mainframe.

The glare Virgil turned to him with showed that the five-hundreth realisation that it wasn’t was about to explode and the popcorn he kept behind the cushions was all prepared to watch it.

Seeing the popcorn get brought out though had Virgil silently talking himself through the breathing exercises most often used to help his anxiety. They’d always doubled to prevent him from blowing up at Remus if he remembered in time. When he spoke all he said was, “When I said I wanted to be a pirate, I was expecting more ships than this.”

“Ooooh, Do you wanna try pirating a pirate ship? There’s gotta be a way to download one I swear or the modern world has failed me!” Remus bounced over, the idea clearly racing through his brain as with a few clicks he managed to reset and finish the download Virgil had been staring at trying to resolve the issues from it for an hour.

“You could have done that earlier. And wouldn’t we at least need like a 3D printer or something if we’re going to download a pirate ship.” Virgil cautioned, already tempted to see just what had appeared in Remus’s room recently.

That room was one Virgil usually tried to ignore given how many things would be brought home as market bargains only to get transformed into something completely different. The last time he’d looked through the door there was what seemed to be three rugs slowly getting cut and sewn into frankenstiens monster.

Remus was shaking his head already. “Or I could get the location for nearby ship owners, visit claiming to be an elite caterer or something, steal or copy all the keys in their house then try each of them until we’ve got the boat for ourselves.”

“And how are you going to avoid getting arrested while doing all of that? Or store a boat while you turn it into a pirate ship?” Virgil had to ask about the flaws in the plan, not caring about the cover story since Remus was actually qualified in catering after getting bored one summer while Virgil was in college.

The concerns were easily waved off, “I found this cave, really big except for the entrance although a ship could get into it at low tide. That would be a perfect place for our pirate ship. Also it’s easy enough to convince rich guys to show off their wealth with parties on their boats.

“Hang about they’d probably actually give me keys to the boat for the duration of that party. If I just made a side trip to Janus’s shop I could have the copy made and actually get paid for the catering job at the same time!” Remus cheered, nodding at Virgil as though waiting for any other concerns.

Virgil couldn’t be bothered to go into plotting with his best friend after so long arguing with his computer though so decided to just walk away instead. Hopefully this would all get forgotten by the morning.

/\/\

It wasn’t forgotten and the tuxedo Remus had somehow gained while Virgil slept had a lot of thoughts Virgil would never admit to running through his head. “Please tell me your brother has called about a family event and that’s why you’re dressed up?”

“Are you asking to get dolled up too because I have some scandalous outfits you could try on?” Remus smirked, doing a spin. The bow with a wink was enough to increase the blush on Virgil’s cheeks to a vibrant red reaching his ears.

“Never.”

Luckily Remus had already tired of that bit of teasing, grabbing a folder from the desk. “I’ve got to visit this lawyers family. He seemed rather interested when I reached out last night as a catering start up one of his colleagues is funding. I’ll have your pirate ship in no time, little Incubus.”

Virigl could only groan as Remus left, wondering just how long his blushing could be ignored for. Part of his mind wanted to worry about what remus was getting them into but he’d know the other for too long to seriously think he’d be able to change anything now.

/\/\

The next month passed quietly so far as Virgil was concerned. He carried on getting stock made for Remus’s market and tried to remain speaking whenever Remus disappeared in his tuxedo, without getting flustered.

He did notice when the tuxedo disappeared from the outfits Remus wore regularly after a month. There had been nothing more said about getting a pirate ship, but Virgil had known that was still what his room-mate had been disappearing to try and manage, and he’d thought it was going well.

There had even been a night of celebration with leftovers from what Virgil had thought would be one of the final events Remus did for the pirate ship. They’d gone out to the clifftops over the ocean, curled up either side of a skull and crossbones blanket and laughed about all the monsters they could find at sea or on land.

Instead of being dragged out to a ship shortly afterwards though Virgil just noticed that Remus was disappearing off in his comfy clothes, sometimes with a giant rucksack that would return empty. For all the random bouts of flirting between them still happened Virgil became certain that Remus had forgotten about getting a pirate ship in favour of some fling although that didn’t explain why the details of it hadn’t been shared.

Trying to deny any hurt at that possibility Virgil scolded himself that they’d never been together for him to get hurt over anything in the first place. It didn’t work very well.

/\/\

Almost three months since Remus had decided to give Virgil his wish of having a pirate ship and he was finally ready to share everything he’d managed to do.

Virgil had been right about the things he’d need to do to remain unsuspected by the law as well as actually come out of it with the boat. He’d just forgotten that any ship Remus was able to steal through that method wasn’t going to look like a pirate ship at all without a lot of work.

Remus had been determined though. If he was going to make his loves dreams come true again then the ship had to be a pirate ship before Virgil could ever see it. Perhaps this time he’d actually be understood when he told Virgil he loved him even.

He’d noticed the looks when wearing the tuxedo and all the blushes Virgil had been trying to hide for years, but honestly that outfit was never one he liked to wear. Remus had even registered some reluctance or upset from Virgil recently although he was a bit more confused about it and just hoped that whatever thoughts were upsetting him could be worked through soon enough.

For now though he’d finally tied the last flag to the mast and was ready to bring Virgil to their very own pirate ship. The next afternoon sounded like the perfect time.

/\/\

Virgil wasn’t quite sure what to think about being corralled out to the car after having thigh high leather boots thrown at him along with a loose shirt and black leather jacket. Remus had already been decked out in mostly leather when he barged back into their apartment, and had even added beads and braids to his hair alongside the usual excess of jewelery he’d wear.

He wasn’t about to refuse a hyperactive and affectionate Remus though, especially not one practically pulling his arm out with his bouncing as they headed off. “Come on, Black Hole, I wanna show you my best biggest surprise ever, and I’m not talking about the monster in my pants, though I’m happy to show you that too.”

“Where are you even taking me? I thought you had a fling going on that was taking up oh so much of your time.” Virgil tried to demand, instead snickering as he spoke until he registered the words had stilled Remus’s enthusiasm.

In fact Remus had stilled so much he wasn’t getting into the car.

“O-okay, what did I say to upset you? We can get in the car now.” Virgil stuttered out after being stared at for almost a minute, never hearing the car doors unlock.

“Only fling I’ve been having is with my hand.” Eventually Remus blinked out of the stunned realisation of how Virgil had thought he’d been spending his days. “Literally you’re the sewer map that guides me and thought I’d do anything like that without at least mentioning it to you? Virgil I freaking have been exhausting myself constantly for your surprise. There’s no action in the world that could take me away from your side, not even if you said the kraken and mothman wanted to invite me for a threesome!”

The words almost froze Virgil in turn but he still reacted enough to climb into the car as soon as it was unlocked. “So..” he tried to ask about the rant but was cut off by a finger on his lips.

“Let’s get to your surprise and then we’ll talk there.” Remus insisted, turning music on to further prevent any conversation.

/\/\

After being coaxed through a tiny cavern, constantly climbing downwards with a rope he was sure Remus had pinned to the edge himself to act as a safety tool Virgil had begun to remember what this could be. That didn’t do anything to prepare him for when the single rope turned into a rope ladder dropping down through the masts of a pirate ship.

“Woah!” There were no other words for him to say. It looked excatly like the pirate ships from the books and films he’d adored as a child. Virgil could only spin around taking in all the details and additions he was sure Remus must had made himself somehow.

“Captain Sanders, I believe you are missing your hat.” Remus said, breaking through his awed staring and holding out a captains hat, completed with a large purple feather.

“You got me a full on pirate ship.” Virgil whispered, still shocked.

Remus just nodded, “Well it at least looks like that while above deck. Downstairs it’s a lot more of how I felt like decorating in the moment. The kitchen is awesome though so I’m cooking us dinner tonight.”

“You said you’ve been exhausting yourself to do this for me?” Virgil asked, entirely believing that now, but not quite able to comprehend anybody doing such a momentous task all for him.

“Captain, do you realise just how much you could ask for and I’d do everything I could to get it for you? I’m driven to insanity for you and will thank you for it in every way I can think of.” Remus raved, barely even realising how close his steps brought them until he was looking down at Virgil.

Virgil swallowed, shaking his head, “Does that list include kissing me?” He spoke.

There were no words after that as their lips finally met, aboard a pirate ship in a hidden cavern.