#and acknowledging that you don't quite have the words to express your thoughts or feelings atm

[murderofravens]

BLACKEST DAY

pairing: cho sangwoo x fem reader

summary: old feelings are rekindled when you encounter your father's old friend at the games.

warnings: age gap (reader is 20, sangwoo is 46) badly written smut, face slapping, slightly toxic dynamics, a smidge of some age-gap kink. lots of angst. body worship. this is a oneshot.

word count: around 5k

[feedback and reblogs are a writer's biggest motivation.]

MASTERLIST

life has a funny way of reuniting people.

when you woke up in the hall, surrounded by strangers wearing those ugly green clothes much like yourself, your first thought was— 'i should have brought someone with me.'

you were always rather wary of doing things by yourself. things seem much easier when you have a helping hand to give you advice, or to make bad decisions together.

your first shock came upon the mention of his name, taken by one of the guards.

player 218, cho sangwoo.

your eyes snapped up to the screen where you could see a clip of him getting slapped after repeatedly losing the game.

"former supervisor of team two at joy investments, embezzled money from his clients, invested it in derivatives and figures and failed. current loss, 650 million won."

you looked around frantically before you caught sight of him— handsome as ever, although visibly distraught. his shocked eyes were looking at the guards with a mix of anger and embarrassment.

you had known sangwoo since you were rather young. idolized him at one point, even. he and your father used to be some sort of business partners— which you can guess was another word for friends who gambled and hung out occasionally. most of your years went by with him acknowledging you politely, getting you chocolate everytime he came to visit, and patting your head with a proud smile whenever your parents told him about one of your achievements at school. you wanted to be like him— smart, ambitious and a hard worker.

you'd moved off for college when you were of age, and according to his mother, he had moved to the US for business purposes.

which, as you can see, didn't work out.

you don't really try to make conversation with him, don't even look at his side of the room. mainly because you're embarrassed. there are two reasons— the first being that you don't want to see the man you idolized at a place like this. and the second is personal. your last memory of him isn't something you're fond of. it still fills you with resentment and a sense of sadness— you had asked to meet up with him before you were going off to college, hoping to express your feelings. you'd developed a childish crush on him when you were growing up, and it had expanded into genuine feelings over time.

but he never showed up, and you were left sitting in the expensive restaurant all by yourself. you never revealed that to anyone, deciding to take that moment of humiliation to the grave.

the first game was terrifying, to say the least. while you could tell there was something inherently shady about the whole organization, what left you in genuine shock was the first shot that rang out through the field, killing the person who moved. you were careful about your steps then, walking forward rather meticulously, ensuring you were not a victim in whatever hellhole you've found yourself in.

splatters of blood covered your face as you almost reached the line, hiding behind another taller man. there were a mere 10 seconds left. your heart was quite literally trying to beat out of your chest, and sweat dripped down your forehead. and that's when you first made eye contact with him.

sangwoo, who was bent in half, was panting as he looked at the finish line. his gaze rose, and connected with yours— eyes immediately widening with recognition. you were frozen as you looked at him, jaw clenched and panic stricken. he looked at the timer, and the doll turned away. you quickly began running, and you saw him straighten up as the timer began nearing zero. you jumped across the finish line, and his hand grabbed you to help. you stumbled into him and the both of you fell onto the dusty ground— a mess of sweaty limbs.

you don't say a word to him as the guards guide you back to the hall. he is just as silent behind you, and you wonder if it's because he's embarrassed about being there, or if he remembered what he did to you and is reluctant to acknowledge you after.

"i didn't expect to see you here." he remarks quietly, voice grim. his head is lowered, and there's an almost disappointed look in his eyes.

the audacity.

"i could say the same about you," you shoot back dryly, sitting cross legged on the floor. he looks at you then, and your gaze challenged his.

"you've grown since i last saw you." he adds, and you scoff in response. so what? you were still bitter.

"it's just two years."

he clenches his jaw and looks away, his ears feeling hot. you've always had a problem with keeping your mouth shut, and apparently it still applies. you look up at him, eyes accusatory.

"i thought you went to the states." there's a taunting edge to your voice— rather shallow and childish on your end, but you can't help yourself. you're playing with life and death, but still you're angrier about your history with him than anything else.

"all those degrees just to scam people? i'd expect more from someone like you, mr. sangwoo—"

"you don't know what you're talking about," he shuts your words down quickly, voice firm. he's quick to change the topic, visibly agitated. "i thought you went to college. what happened to your—"

"father?" you interrupt, sitting straighter. "he got scammed."

you look at him pointedly as you say the last word, and his eye twitches.

"he gambled away his money on some non existent race. i dont live with him anymore and i need money to continue college and pay rent. my mom doesn't know and i don't wanna worry her." you take a sharp breath, voice getting lower, "my landlady threw me out before i found the ddakji guy."

his face softens with every sentence, an expression close to pity taking over. you hate pity, so you shut it down with a glare.

"don't give me that look," you sigh with exhaustion, running a hand down your face.

"i'm sorry to hear that," he says quietly, avoiding your eyes. he blinks a few times, adjusts his glasses. he doesn't know what else to say, and he's almost glad for the interruption when the staff walks in and announces the results of the first game.

it's so sudden how people begin to beg for their lives— kneeling before the guards, pleading to be spared. it makes you feel sorry and disgusted at the same time— you can understand why they'd do so, but you can't imagine kneeling before an organisation like this in any way. you value your dignity.

when the gunshot rings out to silence the begging crowd, the guard announces the second clause of the contract: a player who refuses to play will be terminated.

your head snaps up at the sound of sangwoo's confident voice.

"clause three of the consent form—" he steps forward, "the games may be terminated upon a majority vote."

the guard nods, "that is correct."

"then," he looks around, and his eyes fall on you. he looks away, and cocks his head to the side, "let us take a vote."

you almost feel that sense of admiration for him once again— he was always smart, that you can admit. more attentive than others, better at remembering little details. he's stepping forward to directly challenge these guards while people are begging for their lives. he's brave, like he's always been.

you fall in line beside him, and he looks down at you. you give him a slight nod, before your attention is diverted to the next announcement. the staff then show the money accumulated by the deaths of the previous player— 100 million won for each. as the massive piggy bank hanging from the ceiling glows, you can feel him stiffen at the mere sight of the money.

and the voting starts. your number comes soon enough— player 420.

you don't hesitate.

this money is not more important than your life. you need to consider all your options— you're not confident that you would make it till the end. and you don't want to fucking die yet.

you press the cross, and fall into the crowd.

sangwoo's number comes a while after— and you watch him like a hawk. you know he's a smart guy who knows better than to put himself in a compromising situation. you hope he'll help you go home.

until he presses the 'O.'

you feel utterly betrayed once again and he goes to his side of the crowd, not looking at you even once. you scoff to yourself, baffled by his audacity, before redirecting your focus to the voting counter. you start hoping your side wins purely out of spite.

player 001 presses X. your side erupts into cheers and you let out a breath of relief, glancing at sangwoo who stands frozen with his head lowered.

you don't remember much after.

the car ride feels suffocating— everything is dark. there's shuffling before you feel yourself being shoved, and you let out a yelp as your bare skin hits the gravel. "ouch— fuck!"

you hear your name— and recognise the voice.

"mister sangwoo?" you gasp, and hear a pained 'yes'. you can feel a cloth wrapped around your eyes, and your hands and legs are tied. you groan, shifting and writhing on the ground, impatiently trying to free yourself. you feel teeth on the front of your wrists before your hands are released.

you sit up quickly and snatch the cloth off your eyes. you turn to sangwoo then, and quickly untie his wrists. he grunts before sitting up, and the two of you untie your legs.

"shit, it's cold—" you hiss, quickly standing up. those bastards had only left you in a plain white sports bra and underwear. he was naked as well save for a pair of white boxers. the sight makes your skin feel hot, and you take a greedy but discreet glance at his chest before rushing towards your jeans and hoodie that are tossed to the side of the road, quickly getting dressed.

you clear your throat and turn around, only to see him quickly looking away from you, his clothes still in his hands. your eyes narrow knowingly and he wordlessly gets dressed, buttoning up his white shirt.

"are we still in seoul?" you ask, and he clears his throat, adjusting his glasses before looking up towards the buildings. he nods, and you shiver slightly.

he turns to you and hesitates before moving forward to put his grey blazer over you. you raise your eyebrows in question, and he doesn't respond before checking his pockets.

"are you hungry?" he asks, and almost comically in that same moment your stomach growls. he holds back a smile, and you wrap his blazer tighter around yourself.

you rest your head against the table while you wait. you can feel it pounding, but the smell of hot ramen tempts you to raise it. he takes a seat beside you and places the steaming bowl in front of you.

"do you have the money for this?" you cant help but ask.

"dont worry about it," he says with a wave of his hand, bringing out his chopsticks to eat. you decide to leave the job of worrying to him and get to eating.

you're a rather slow eater, and he doesn't complain. he steps out of the store, and you can see his back as he takes out a cigarette. you slurp up the rest of your food and follow him out.

"i don't feel that cold anymore," you hand him his blazer, and he turns to look at you. you're thankful about your self control, because he is a sight. so devilishly handsome even after witnessing such horrors— his cigarette teasingly hanging off his lips, the smoke wafting up and making his eyes squint just a little. his glasses make him look so much more sophisticated, or perhaps you have a thing for nerdy looking men. you're not a smoker, but he makes it look so good. if you were a weaker woman, you would've gasped. no wonder half of your childhood went by with that barely disguised crush on him— no wonder no guy your age back in college seemed good enough.

you clear your throat, bring yourself back to earth and continue. "you can have it. thank you."

he takes the blazer with a nod and puts it on. takes another puff of the cigarette, and watches you look around.

"i thought you'd come back with an american wife." you almost cringe at your own words. but conversation is conversation, you don't know how else to start. it's a discreet way to find out his relationship status, if any.

"marriage is the last thing on my mind." he responds quietly, taking a puff. you look at the side of his face, and his eyes stare at the road in front of him— thoughtful. you wonder what he's thinking about.

"where will you go?" he asks without looking at you.

you shrug, "i don't know."

"do you have any money?"

you pause, suddenly feeling a sense of dread. you have no money, and what little you got from the ddakji guy, you spent on your rent. which got you thrown out anyway.

your silence speaks volumes. he tosses the cigarette to the floor and stomps on it. you sigh.

"i don't have any money."

"come with me," he looks at you, gaze intense and serious. "i have enough for the both of us. atleast for a few days till we can figure things out."

"why?" you cross your arms over your chest almost defensively, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

he grits his teeth as he glares at you, mouth twitching. he looks away then, tonguing the inside of his cheek before returning your gaze. "you have nowhere else to go. it wouldn't be responsible to leave you alone like this."

you almost scoff— the words on the tip of your tongue. but you were okay with leaving me alone back then? but you don't say it, not yet, because you could use his financial help right now. you sigh, before nodding, and gesturing forward.

"fine, lead the way."

the motel he takes you to looks respectable enough. you look around, eyeing the plain decor. the man behind the counter looks at the two of you, and then gives sangwoo a toothy grin, which immediately alerts you.

"only one room available."

sangwoo doesn't protest. he doesn't have the finances to get two separate rooms either. he opens the room and you go in first, looking around. there's a single bed and some flashy lights, and it makes you roll your eyes. you turn around to settle him with a pointed look.

"it's better than i thought," he grunts, taking his blazer off as he takes in the scene. he steps forward and drags a finger down the side table, examines the dust it leaves on his skin with mild disgust.

you bite your lower lip as you watch him— his shirt stretching across his chest, his hair falling messily across his forehead. his glasses resting delicately on the bridge of his nose.

fucking nerd.

his gaze snaps up to you and that's when you realize you'd said that out loud. you wince, looking away and he straightens up, blinking innocently.

"you're still upset with me."

you cross your arms over your chest as you sit on the bed. you quirk an eyebrow, and he cocks his head to the side, eyeing you from a respectable distance.

you decide to play dumb.

"about what?"

he's not amused. he stares at you, expression serious and intense, "i didn't plan to stand you up that day."

so we're going straight to it, you think.

"then why did you?" you snap, unable to hold back the hurt from your voice, "i waited for an hour. you never came. i wanted to talk to you."

"i know." he nods. he walks up to you then, stands at the foot of the bed. "i know what you wanted to talk to me about. i was scared."

you freeze, looking at him cautiously, your heartbeat rising. "scared?"

"i knew you had feelings for me." he sighs, sitting down beside you. his voice is hushed, making the moment feel more intimate than you'd like. "i could tell that's what you wanted to talk to me about. it terrified me."

your breath feels like it's knocked out of your lungs. you swallow the lump in your throat, holding back the tears pricking in the corner of your eyes. "did anyone ever tell you that you're an asshole?"

he grunts, takes out another cigarette. he lights it up and takes a long drag— taking his time to respond.

"many people," he says, blowing some smoke through his nostrils. the sight almost makes your mouth water, but you ignore it.

"you're a dick," you shoot back dryly.

"what i am—" he points his cigarette at you, "— is too old for you. surely you didn't think it was a good idea?"

"you could've rejected me instead," you chuckle bitterly, "but you decided to leave me there to look stupid."

"you were too young." his voice is low, and his response almost makes you want to strangle him. he dusts some ash off his cigarette, adjusts his glasses, and looks at you with an intensity that makes your skin feel hot. "i couldn't keep you happy even if i wanted to."

you frown, gritting your teeth. he looks away.

"you looked at me like i hung the moon and the stars." he continues, looking ahead at the wall, gaze distant. "i couldn't maintain those expectations. we were in two completely different stages. you were meant to go to college, study well, get a good job, a boy your age—"

"stop talking like you're my father," you snap before he can finish, standing up. there's heat behind your glare and you almost laugh at his expression, "i had no expectations from you. so stop with your- your little— excuses. what's done is done, right? you've stood me up once, no need to reject me by wording it smartly. i don't wanna be with you anymore anyway."

that was a lie. you just hoped he couldn't see through your act. you're riled up because you're still affected by him, and his polite behaviour is driving you insane— you want to tear away at his walls, expose the passion he hides behind his smart guy facade. you know it because you've seen it in the way his eyes light up when he talks about his ambitions— how willing he is to cross any line to achieve what he wants. you want to butcher his self control and unleash the animal underneath, the one he's so desperate to hide. it's what made you fall for him in the first place.

he merely looks at you boredly, taking another drag of his cigarette. you snatch it off him, bring it to your own lips. he looks at you with mild shock as you take a drag, and you blow the smoke out on his face.

it all goes smoothly until you cough, and he's snatching the cigarette away again, watching you almost amusedly.

"you can't even handle a cigarette," he remarks dryly, putting it out on the bedframe. and that one line finally ticks you off. almost as if on instinct, your hand pulls back and delivers a sharp slap to his face— making it turn to the side. he snorts, adjusts his glasses again before he looks at you, unimpressed.

"you've been waiting to do that, haven't you?" he asks. your nostrils flare with anger. you can't hurt him physically— but your tongue is sharp. you'll use it.

"you're one to talk about different stages in life," you add, leaning towards him. a smirk curls upon your face, "look at you. all that ambition and experience only to end up scamming people."

out of the need to provoke him, your hand shoots out, jabbing a finger to his chest.

"how would your mother feel if she found out?"

it's a low blow, and you would be ashamed if it hadn't worked. it does its work to finally get to him. he grabs your wrist, and harshly pulls you down towards him, knocking your breath out. he shoves you on the bed and hovers over you, panting slightly. you chuckle.

"my life is hard enough," he hisses sharply, body trembling with concealed rage. his gaze drifts down to your lips before settling upon your eyes again. "do you really want to keep testing me?"

you can't help but smile smugly as you stare at him. there he is— almost on the verge of losing his composure. a few more quips and you're sure he'll crumble. it makes your skin feel tingly. your face leans up slightly, your hungry gaze drifting down to his lips. your hand reaches up, pries his glasses off his face. and then you flick his nose.

"fuck you."

the way his mouth comes crashing onto yours is animalistic. he desperately kisses you with the passion of a madman— his tongue entering your mouth and messily colliding with your own. as if to tease him, you bite his bottom lip sharply and he pulls back, eyes widening as a small trickle of blood falls down the corner of his mouth. his hand pulls back and strikes you across the face, and you can't help but laugh. your cheek stings and feels like it's burning— and you're addicted. you hope he'll do it again. you look back at him with an almost crazed look in your eyes, and you can see it finally dawn upon him that he's finally giving you exactly what you wanted.

"you're enjoying this too much, you little minx—" he hisses, grabbing your neck and kissing you again. your hands immediately reach up to his shirt, fumbling with the buttons as you try to keep up with his pace. he pulls away and tosses his shirt to the side, and you take that opportunity to use all your strength to flip the two of you around so he's the one on his back. it makes him gasp, and you look down at him with darkened eyes— a finger teasingly running down his chest, making him let out a shudder.

he's the object of all your desires for as long as you've ever known. the man of your dreams, the man that you kept comparing every single one of your college boys to. no wonder they never seemed good enough. how could they? they were no match for this beautiful man laying under you.

with a newfound vigour your head drops to his neck, licking and kissing every inch of his skin. your hungry mouth trails down his chest, breathing in the smell of him, leaving greedy bites in its wake. the sounds your actions evoke out of him are downright pornographic— soft, breathless groans that make you want to consume him entirely. his hand comes down to your head, holding you in place as you worship his body— and you moan when his fingers dig into your scalp.

your lips leave a wet trail and cherry red bites down his torso, until you reach the waistband of his pants. teasingly, you mouth at his bulge, making him hiss in return. his hips buck up slightly and you place a soft kiss to the material before leaning up to his face. his hands wrap around your waist and he flips the two of you over again, desperately tearing away at your clothes.

"i shouldn't be doing this," he mutters under his breath, talking more so to himself than you. you raise your hips and he pulls your jeans down, a throaty groan escaping him at the sight of your panties. they're almost transparent from how wet you are. he frees himself from the confines of his underwear and you watch with fascination as he holds you down with a hand on your stomach. you're panting when he's pushing them to the side and entering you immediately— making you scream from the stretch.

he clenches his jaw, squeezes his eyes shut as he buries himself to the hilt with a grunt. you choke on a pained sob, your fingers digging into his back as he grabs the side of your face.

"it hurts—" you hiss through gritted teeth, a tear running down your cheek. it burns, and he waits a second before wordlessly pulling back and thrusting again. the pain morphs into pleasure soon enough, and you whine as he falls into an easy rhythm, wrapping your legs around his waist. you whine in return, and he gives your cheek a light slap, prompting you to open your eyes. your breath hitches as he looks at you intensely— his own eyes glassy.

"not that young now am i?" you grit out with a glare, crying out as he retaliates with a harsh, pointed thrust. "y-you're my first—"

"fuck," he moans, his head dropping down to your chest. his thrusts get quicker, voice raspy and low, "don't— don't say that—"

"i always wanted you to take my virginity," you moan, throwing your head back, dragging your nails down his back. it makes him hiss, "ever since i was a—"

he slams his hand on your mouth, refusing to allow you to finish your sentence. "shut the fuck up."

he doesn't want to be reminded of the age difference between you two, even though you can tell it gets him hot. the moment his hand clasps over your mouth, you cum with a loud moan. your body trembles but he keeps going— not allowing you a moment to breathe. his eyes are full of rage as he bares his teeth in anger. you chuckle breathlessly against his hand, your eyes fluttering. he looks like an angry cat— you want to kiss him all over his face. his thrusts eventually get sloppy— he's close.

you lock your legs tightly around his waist, and he smacks you again. it surprises you this time, and he takes that opportunity to pull out, jerking himself off quickly.

"i can't afford taking risks," he grunts, clenching his jaw. you whine in response, pouting slightly, and he gives you an exasperated glare before he's cumming all over your stomach with a shaky groan.

you pant heavily as you come down from your high, and almost as if on fire— he quickly dresses himself. he pulls out a handkerchief from his blazer pocket, gently wipes off the fluids on your stomach. he just watches you on the bed— his eyes examining his handiwork. you notice his gaze lingers on your cheek. after a few minutes, he wordlessly gets up and goes to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. you roll your eyes as you pull up your jeans too. a few moments pass, and you breathe a puff of air through your nostrils.

"are we going to talk about this?" you call out. there's no answer. you get up and rush to the bathroom door, except he's locked it. you can hear light splashing of water. you scoff in disbelief, going back to the bed. you lay on your side and grab a pillow, your lips wobbling as you go over everything that happened.

this was not how it was supposed to go. he was not supposed to seem this detached. you'd expected atleast a cuddle after sex.

you don't realize when you fall asleep. it's morning when you wake up— sunlight streaming in through the window and directly onto your face, making you wince. you stretch, look over your shoulder.

sangwoo isn't there.

you immediately go to the bathroom. it's empty, though the tub is full. you frown in confusion before turning back to the bed. there, a note on the side table has you stopping.

'i'm sorry,' it said, in his handwriting. placed along with it were a few won bills.

you sniffle as you stare at the note— the writing on it almost mocking you. you crumple it up, your fist shaking as you resist the urge to cry. suddenly, there's a knock on the door, and it makes your entire body stiffen.

a card slides from the little space under the door. the same one you remember the ddakji guy giving you. the shapes on it just look sinister now. the number on it is different this time.

your breathing gets heavy as you stare at it— your head beginning to hurt. you're sure you can hear your ears ringing.

you're alone. you wonder if leaving in the first place was a mistake. your feelings are conflicted— and worst of all, you feel used and betrayed. you're not sure if you should go back to the games. you're not sure if you could survive without any money.

sangwoo had left. you don't know where he is and you have nowhere else to go. no home, and you don't know how you would face your mother. you don't know how long the money he left you could go on.

you don't want to die. but you can't keep living like this either. you bite your bottom lip as you contemplate your options, the hurt from sangwoo's departure still lingering in your chest like a stab wound.

you pick up the card and place the call.

tags: @movienerd3000 @testdrivethv @leebyunghunswifey @nerdybarbariancupcake @neganhore @k1ra-park3r @vivdolls @wab-i @stantwicr @creativerambling @yasmim-1007 @makethemgirlsgoloco @jamiewritesfanfiction-blog @captaincarmel416 @warlabels @ferrarifinnick @smlbch @izzyyann @meheheasasa @poooopy @endlessfl4mes @selfishlittlebeing @pillowtalk6 @antiromanticbaby @sky-forts-and-burning-citadels @flow33didontsmoke

[lohotine]

``A More Vulnerable Side of the Elusive Moon``

Shadow Milk Cookie x GN Reader

CW: Slight Angst, not heavily proof read

The moon only shines because of the sun; yet it claims that light as its own. It is as greedy as it is illustrious. It appears bigger than it actually is due to an illusion. If placed in a room alongside a certain jester, and you were told to point to the liar, which would you choose?

Despite all of this, you can't help but admire it all the same. Even with all of its flaws, how can one not acknowledge its beauty?

"Thinking about something?"

You turn your head away from the moon only to be met by another. This one has a blueish hue and a signature, masked smile to go with it.

"Nothing you'd find entertaining," you say to Shadow Milk.

He continues to stare at you, unblinking. Despite him only having two eyes, you feel the gaze of hundreds more still on you.

Shadow Milk takes a seat next to you, taking your hand in his nearly instantly. It's cold to the touch.

"Hmmm, you think too much," He takes a strand of your hair and begins to twirl it. "There's no need for all of these silly thoughts to be running around in your mind."

Ever the touchy cookie.

"It's nice to think sometimes," You'd respond.

Shadow Milk Cookie only rolls his eyes before releasing your hand. "But that's so BORING. The only thoughts you should be thinking about anyway should be about me!"

You feel him place his head on your shoulder, and though his face is not visible to you, you're sure he's pouting.

"In a way, I was sort of thinking about you."

He lifts his head and turns to face you, his signaturing smile returning just as quickly as it faded. "Really?" He sounds akin to that of a small child receiving a gift on their birthday. In response, you nod your head.

"Mhm..." You shift slightly so you are behind him before wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head in the crook of his neck.

His expression is almost unreadable, yet there seems to be some sort of... annoyance.

"I'm always the big-spoon," Shadow Milk grumbles.

He hates to admit it, but he just loves to always be in control. Sure, this is a small example of it, but not having the upper hand in situations like this causes him to feel stuck.

Shadow Milk absolutely despises feeling stuck.

Even if you read through the dictionary one hundred times, you'd never find quite the right words to describe the disdain Shadow Milk experiences when it comes to feeling stuck.

"Just this one time please... I wanna hold you," you'd mutter.

Shadow Milk thinks it is absolutely pathetic how quickly he folds when you ask like that; yet it doesn't change the fact that he still does.

He may not have said it out loud, but him not moving out of your grasp was his own way of voicing that he would allow it.

Actually, it really was quite odd how quiet Shadow Milk was being. Normally he doesn't shut up.

But as you look up at his face, you can tell that something is different. He's thinking about something.

It's not like he never thinks, though. He thinks quite a lot, actually. He's just never so... obvious about it. So still... silent.

Perhaps he hates it. Perhaps he loves it.

Or... maybe a bit of both?

When it comes to Shadow Milk, it really is hard to tell.

"Thinking about something?" You parrot his way of speech from earlier.

His gaze locks onto yours. It's sharp and filled with something... Hatred? Confusion? Maybe it's something more innocent, like surprise. Whatever it is, it only lasts a moment.

One small, fleeting moment.

Then he's back to grinning, back to hiding behind that mask he's so carefully crafted.

You admit, you're not sure if you love him or the mask.

He, too, is unsure.

"You don't need to worry your little head about it!" He flicks your forehead.

"But I like to worry about you," You'd say.

And once again, Shadow Milk finds it absolutely disgusting how quickly he folds when it comes to your words.

Think about it; a beast such as him, falling for a mere weak, stupid, and frankly, rather gross mortal?

Just what would the other beasts think about him if they were to ever find out?

What would YOU think about him?

No, he simply cannot let you find out. Or anyone! But mainly you.

In fact, there isn't even anything to find out! Since he doesn't like you...

And as you observe him, you realize he's fallen silent once more. There's no grin or anything hidden on his face. He simply gazes at you. Admiring you, maybe? Staring? You're still not sure.

But you do know that this version of him is something different. A more fragile... more real version.

It's something you haven't seen before.

Perhaps it's even a more vulnerable side of the elusive moon.

AN:

This writing is actually pretty messy tbh, but this has been sitting in my drafts for like a week and I didn't know what to do with it.

I might write more using ideas from this, and hopefully that'll give me time to let all of this marinate.

I'm not sure how well the ideas in this work together, since there's a lot of them, but I still think they're pretty interesting to explore.

IE; Shadow Milk's fears, reader's doubt when it comes to loving a liar, and the comparison of SMC to the moon.

Idk what I'm even doing anymore tbh, but um yeah. Here's something to chew on IG

[asce-of-hearts]

if you don’t, can we have bloody painter x f!reader smutt where f!reader tried to make him jealous but it backfires?

Bitter

Contents: Yandere!Bloody Painter x F!Reader jealousy smut scenario

more BP content here

TAG LIST

WC: 1.9k

WARNINGS: YANDERE, OBSESSIVE AND POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, BOOBJOBS, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS, HELEN BEFORE BLOWING UP AND BECOMING AN ACTUAL SERIAL KILLER, SORT OF SCHOOL/COLLEGE!AU, ESTABLISHED SITUATIONSHIP, DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND DEATH, NON-CON/DUB-CON.

"People keep disappearing whenever they stay after school, isn't that freaky?" You say, leaning over Helen's desk. He only gives you a hum of acknowledgement, his pencil still moving as his eyes don't leave the paper. You pout, disheartened by his lack of enthusiasm. "Are you even listening?"

"I am." He answers quickly, curtly. You groan, amusing him just a bit, making his eyes flicker between you and the paper for a fraction of a second. He uses the pencil to tap you in the forehead, making you squeak.

"What's the big idea?" You ask, rubbing your forehead as he starts collecting his things. The sun is setting, and he doesn't answer, only continuing his task. You watch him intently, like a big cat stalking its prey, but he doesn't seem to mind. You feel a surge of rage, something bitter and rotten in the pit of your stomach. "Do you even like me, Helen?" You ask in a thread of voice, and he finally faces you.

"Guess." He says, his blue eyes cold as they fix on yours. He doesn't say anything else, just holds the door for a moment, as if inviting you to get out the classroom with him, but you don't leave your room, even if you're the only two people left. He continues to look at you, as if ushering you to stop playing and just follow him already. Your brows furrow, and you jump out of your seat, shoulder checking him as you walk past his body.

"I'll walk alone today." You hiss at him.

He rolls his eyes.

The next day, Helen arrives the classroom early as usual, its quiet and its cold, and the lighting is nice. He gets a few moments of calm and peace before you come in and pester him, and before all of the other idiots arrive and make him want to blow their heads off with a gun.

He hears your voice, and he can't control how his fingers make the pencil he was holding incessantly tap the paper. He's happy to see you, he always is, he just sucks at expressing his emotions. But he doesn't ignore you when you talk to him, and walks home with you every day, isn't that enough?

But you don't come to him, you only lock gazes as you walk past him, clinging to the arm of another guy. Another one of your friends, what a disgusting word, Helen hates them. He shouldn't have to compete for your attention, much less when he had already had you wrapped around his finger. He only scowls, averting his eyes to somewhere else.

As time passes by, he finds himself unable to focus, his eyes digging holes in the back of your head as he stares at you furiously from across the classroom, you try to ignore the displeasing sensation of being watched. When the bell rings, and you walk past him, he quickly grabs your wrist.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He asks, hissing, bearing his teeth like a wild animal.

"I thought you said you were done with me."

"I didn't say anything. You're the one who left sulking yesterday," He says in an angry whisper, standing up. You forget how tall he is at times, at least a head and a half taller than you, his body lean but strong enough to keep you in place when he wants to. "What are you trying to play?"

"Play!? Nothing! I'm just tired of getting ignored every time I try and get close to you!" You bark back, you can see him hesitate, his grip on your wrist faltering before tightening again just before you manage to free yourself.

"I don't ignore you," He tries to sound calm, ignoring how his mind is screaming murderous words as you look at him with utter hatred, bitterness pooling at the back of his throat. "I'm nice to you. Quit it."

"I'm not quitting anything," You pull yourself free of his grip, the angry red imprint of his fingers on your skin impossible to ignore. He represses a smirk, proud of leaving his mark over your skin, and even better, in his favorite color. "Leave me alone." You turn around to walk away.

"I'll catch you at the end of the school day, we'll talk on the way home." "No!" You say with far too much dramatism for his taste, his knuckles white as he bites the inside of his cheek to grab the last ounce of control he has. "Forget it! I'm finding someone else to walk me home! Better yet, I'm staying here with my friends to figure out about the freaky disappearances that I tried to tell you about, and who knows! Maybe I'll get freaky with one of them!" You scream at him, and throw an eraser you found in his general direction. You don't mean those words, at least you think so. His face goes pale, even paler than before.

He doesn't even bother collecting his stuff before he storms out, you try and get him to stop, but he completely ignores your efforts.

You sigh, alone in the classroom once more.

"He hates me for sure," You whimper with your forehead pressed to the cold wall of the bathroom stall, you're hiding there with your friends. Who try their best to comfort you. "I completely destroyed any chance I had with him. Who even suggested I try and make him jealous?"

"You did." One of your friends answer, and you deadpan at her, earning a playful smile from her behalf. "Ah, just forget it, there are other fish in the sea, you know? More cocks than stars in the sky."

"Shut up!" You squeak, smiling just a little. You hear noise outside the bathroom, men screaming, probably your guy friends trying to play a prank on you. Definitely.

"Just ignore them, they'll shut up eventually." Another one of your friends rolls her eyes, continuing to text on her phone. And she's right, they shut up after about five minutes. The silence is unnerving, only the occasional song playing from one of your phones as you mindlessly scroll through social media, or the clanking of nails across the screen.

"It's... It's too quiet, don't you think?" You say, and they all agree.

"Let's go and check what's going on. Maybe they're pretending, they'll scare us for sure when we get out the bathroom, just try to not scream too loud." Just as you prepare to go outside, you feel your bladder call for duty.

"Wait!" They all groan. "No, I'll pee myself from the scare. Go out first, I'll take just a moment." Reluctantly they agree, and leave you to do your thing as they exit the bathroom, you can hear them screaming, the prank probably worked a little too well, how well? Three girls screaming for two minutes at least seems like an exaggeration, two minutes? Just how long have you been dissociating inside the stall. You pull your pants up and fix your hair in front of the sink mirror, stepping out to the dark hall. "I'm here, sorry-" Your apology is interrupted by a warm liquid pooling at your feet, the faint sound of kicking flesh immediately putting you in overdrive. You choke a scream as you see the pile of corpses in front of you, a masked man collecting vials of blood.

You both stare at each other for a moment, unable to move. You can feel the tears pooling at your eyes, and you scream at your legs to move, run, run, run. Before you can do anything he has already pounced over you, your head hitting the wall as he pins you to the ground in a quick movement. You, flat on the floor, him on top, legs around your torso.

"Don't kill me! Don't kill me!" You manage to scream, and he presses his hand over your mouth.

"I'll do whatever I want, slut," He says with anger, and you can recognize the voice, the boyish laugh that escapes his throat as you realize. You kick and scream.

"Stop it, Helen! It's not funny! Not funny!" You squeal under him, but he doesn't let go. He pulls the mask up, his eyes dark and devoid of life as he grins at you, like a cat.

"No purpose in hiding myself then," He sighs, and the small scalpel he's holding comes to rip at your blouse, exposing your breasts. Your breath hitches as he traces the blunt part of the blade over your skin, eliciting goosebumps. "You would've figured it out one way or another, maybe once we had gotten married..." He's talking mostly to himself, his eyes eating you alive, trying to memorize every little detail of your body. The mark of his hands around your wrist still noticeable, good.

"Married?"

"Well, yes... I like you, don't I? I don't think I will ever like anyone else as much as you." He answers as if it was obvious, and you don't know what to say. "But that's besides the point. You... you didn't do anything with any of them, right? They didn't taint you," He asks, eyes wide open, searching for the truth, you shake your head. "Good, good. I would've killed you if they did."

The cold air of the night hits at your naked skin, making your nipples perk up under your bra, he notices, and cuts it open as well. He drops the scalpel next to you, and his hands come to squeeze and fondle at your now exposed mounds.

"Pretty," He whispers. "You're... so pretty." In another context you would be melting, aching for him to praise you more. But in this instant you feel like prey, like meat, and he's hungry, salivating for a taste of your flesh.

"Please, Helen."

"Stop begging," He orders, his grip on your tights tightening until it hurts, making you whine in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He plays with them for a few moments more, twisting and pulling at your nipples from time to time. And then he pulls it out, his cock. Pretty, just like him. Lean, the tip a pretty pink, a beauty mark and a vein running around it. You gasp at the sight, at how he shifts positions. "Put them... together," He says in a husky whisper, referring to your tits, he uses your hands to push them together, and you're too afraid to refuse, staying in the position he left you in. He slides his cock between them, throwing his head back, pleasured. "Tight, tighter." He's lost in bliss, in the sensation of your flesh wrapped around him. You find yourself strangely flattered at his reaction to your body.

He slides himself between your breasts frantically, rutting like a dog in heat. He spits between them, creating a mess of slick and spit, pre cum staining your skin. You feel strange, disgusted even, like this shouldn't be happening, but he doesn't stop. And then, he grabs a fistful of your hair.

"Open, open wide!" He moans, whimpers even. Too late for you to react quick enough, his cum litters your face, thick white ropes that fall everywhere, the taste is bitter, gooey and heavy, like cream. He doesn't bother to clean you up, breathing heavily as he stands on top of you, you lay down on the ground, pliant and tender. His breathing stabilizes quickly, and you see the flash of a camera as he snaps a picture. He cocks his head to the side, smiling.

"Needed the reference for my next painting."

hope you enjoyed this

have a great day/night

TAGGING: @nenekusanagi @justmare @eroscastle @stranger00001 @kitzusune

@lakxcpsta @coolnekochan9961 @houchan @bl00dy-pa1nt3r

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[illbegottenfaith]

lucky - theo nott x reader

A tussle over a vial of Felix Felicis proves to be strangely enlightening

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

a/n - argh I had a bit of a rough time ending this fic also why do I kind of want a smutty pt 2 to this ahem ahem insufferable!theo when reader loses a bet with him ahem ahem

tropes/warnings - academic rivals, enemies to lovers (ish), cameo by Mattheo (??), fluff, physical touch, slight angst/yearning

word count - 1.6k

Two weeks. For two weeks you had spent every moment of your free time researching and experimenting to get the right recipe for the Draught of the Living Death down. You had seen the way Theodore Nott had perked up at the mention of the curious potion when Slughorn first mentioned the competition. You felt something stir inside you over the gleam in his eye, and that was when you decided that you absolutely had to win it. After all, who couldn't use a little extra luck every now and then? 

And win it you did. Strangely enough, Theo didn't seem to mind as much as he should have. After a superfluous promise to pass you the vial of Felix Felicis the following lesson, Slughorn dismissed the class. But you weren't satisfied, not when you'd realised a glimmer of an inkling of what Theo might be planning. He took off the moment Slughorn finished speaking, and you scrambled to swipe your things into your bag to catch up with him. As expected, you turned the corner and found the Potions storage room's door ajar.

"You know, I expected better of you, Nott."

Theo stilled, his back facing you, before surreptitiously pulling his hand out of his pocket. "You expected that I would be above stealing?"

"Of course not. But I thought you'd have enough dignity not to stoop this low." You clicked your tongue disapprovingly. "Didn't take you to be so sore a loser."

Surprisingly, your appeal to his pride was ineffective. He turned around and stared at you from under his beautiful overly long eyelashes, his lips twisting into a malicious smile.

"Loser? I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with the term, Tesoro. You see, one, and only one, of us has today's highly coveted prize." His oily smirk widened. "So you'll forgive me if I don't quite feel like I've lost."

Your face flamed with indignation. "That Felix Felicis is mine and you know it."

Theo took on an expression of faux innocence, splaying his deceitfully empty hands. "I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about."

You finally snapped. It was one thing to have his aggravating dreamy mug haunting your every waking and sleeping moment, and another to have him outright refuse to acknowledge that you had bested him. You hadn't slaved away the past two weeks perfecting your Draught of the Living Death just for him to nick it from the storeroom. No, you had won, fair and square, and it was time someone smacked that into that swollen head of his. 

You lunged at him, shoving a hand into his pocket, taking Theo by surprise. A second later, his hand closed around your wrist For pockets that did not appear excessively large, it was surprisingly difficult to rifle through its contents, especially with Theo's squirming. 

"You always do this," you bit out. "Since first year you've never been able to stand me getting ahead of you."

"Bold of you to assume you've ever gotten ahead of me, mia cara," Theo grunted through gritted teeth, wincing as you doubled your violent efforts.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, give it up already! I won, you lost. Now give me the vial."

"Finder's keepers."

So engrossed were you in your spirited if awkward wrestling that neither of you noticed someone had stopped by the storeroom.

"Uh," Mattheo started, half-conflicted about whether or not he ought to avert his gaze. "I can come back later."

"NO!" The two of you shouted, Theo trying to wrench your arm away, cursing furiously under his breath in Italian while you stubbornly scrabbled for the vial, hooking him in close by his belt loops. Eventually, after a sharp elbow jab to his rib, Theo's grip slackened enough for you to pull the vial out and shove it into your satchel. 

"Knock yourself out," you said breathlessly to a stunned Mattheo, with your uniform slightly askew and a tinge of pink colouring your face. You left briskly before Theo could recover and wandered to the staircase towards your next class, fixing your hair, still trembling from the adrenaline.

You hurried into the Great Hall for lunch once Charms ended, sliding into a seat next to two of your friends already eating.

"Hey, what did I miss?"

Ivy and Katie exchanged a cryptic look. "What didn't you miss?" responded Ivy innocently, tucking into her slice of Shepherd's pot pie nonchalantly. You frowned at Katie, who seemed to be pointedly avoiding your gaze.

"I don't get it. What happened?"

"Are you kidding? Everyone's talking about it."

"Talking about what?"

"You and Theo getting lucky in the Potions storage room."

You choked on your food, earning a few overly aggressive thumps on your back. "I am going to kill Mattheo."

You found him easily enough, pouring over some dull Ancient Runes assignment in the library. He didn't look up as you entered, fuming, but that was quickly remedied by a sharp smack to the back of his head.

"What else was I supposed to think, L/N? You had his hand down his pants, for Salazar's sake."

"In his pants, you idiot," you hissed. "In, as in his pockets. Didn't the scuffling and the fighting give it away?"

"I don't know," Mattheo said doubtfully, "it's a bit hazy how much actual fighting was going on. If I didn't know any better, and I don't, I'd say I was interrupting a little...something."

You glared at him. "He was trying to stop me from invading his pockets. There was nothing but fighting."

"Right," Mattheo said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because if there were one person stronger than a goddamn Quidditch player, it would be you. Because that's obviously more plausible than the idea that he might just like you feeling him up."

You faltered, and Mattheo took the chance to scoop up his books and leave. "I wasn't feeling him up," you muttered half-heartedly, but he was long gone. And it was true. At no point were your actions motivated by anything other than a righteous desire to reclaim what was yours. But you'd be lying if you said that your mind hadn't wandered, if only for a split second, to what it would be like to be in that exact position under very different circumstances. But it was only inevitable, with the pressing against the hard muscle underneath the coarse fabric and the illicit feeling of running your hands along the most intimate part of his trousers. You groaned, digging the heels of your palms into your eyes, trying to erase the memory.

You left the library soon after Mattheo, turning your thoughts around and around in your head.

"You let me have the Felix Felicis."

It wasn't a question as much as a statement of fact. Other than a glance towards you, Theo showed no sign of acknowledging you. He kept that irritatingly cool expression, gazing out at the setting sun and the idyllic sight of the Hogwarts grounds bathed in a soft, liquid golden glow. You joined him at the observation point, your gazes parallel to each other's.

"I don't understand. Why steal it in the first place, then?"

"Why do you even want it?"

You cast your mind around fruitlessly. "It's...it's luck in a bottle. Who wouldn't want it?"

"But it's more than that, isn't it?" Theo tilted his head, considering her with his unfairly piercing gaze. "You like getting ahead of me. You like that you have something I want." 

You tried to ignore the way your hair was sticking to the back of what you were sure was your very flushed neck. "So you agree? " you asked, in a voice that sounded braver than you felt. "I get ahead of you?"

A small, almost genuine-looking smile flitted across his face. "On occasion." He turned to face you fully now, his smile turning cocky. 

"Is that where you get off? Being the object of my undivided attention?"

"You wish." You stuck your chin out defiantly, forcing yourself to look him in the eye. "Is that where you get off? All those ironic Italian pet names?"

Theo hesitated, blinking, like that was the last thing he expected you to bring up. "Right," he muttered, "ironic."

"So I think it's only fair," you continued, oblivious to the flicker in his expression, "that we call it even. At least for today."

Theo shrugged. "If you say so, mi - L/N."

You nodded, a little taken aback by how easy that was. Now what were you supposed to do? Leave, probably. But for some reason, your feet stayed rooted to the ground. Something compels you to stand there and trace the outline of his face as the setting sun throws harsh yet delicious shadows over the contours of his face.

"Is there something else you wanted?" Theo probes gently, as if he's almost as curious as you.

So much, you want to say, and the crushing weight of the sudden realisation almost knocks the air out of your lungs. All you could think about was how much you never wanted to stop looking and looking and looking at his beautiful face. Where was all this want coming from, and what on Earth were you supposed to do with it?

"No," you say in a small voice. "Nothing at all."

Part 2

[lowkeyren]

dangerous infatuation!

in which — you encounter blade while travelling on the xianzhou luofu with the astral express, who saves you from danger, and asks for a reward in return.

pairing — blade x fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns)

₊˚⊹♡ — wc: ~1.2k, from req: here!, 500 words i said to myself and then i end up here, heart squeezed when i saw the ask, blade kissers rise!!!!!!! pls enjoy xx reblogs r much appreciated <3

walking through the unusually crowded streets of starskiff haven, you can’t help but be awed by the sight of the place. it was your first time on the xianzhou luofu, alongside you are your friends from the astral express. march was ahead, animatedly chatting with welt; while you lingered at the rear, taking in the sights.

the air was thick with the mingling scents of exotic spices and freshly cooked street food, engulfing your senses with every breath. in the midst of the bustling crowd, you spot a man who seems oddly out of place. his sole presence draws your attention, and when he catches your gaze, he locks eyes with you, returning your stare with a piercing intensity that sends a shiver down your spine.

beside him stands an elegant woman, a jacket casually draped over her shoulders. but your eyes remain locked on the man; his compelling gaze holds a magnetic pull, and you find yourself unable to tear your eyes away. observing his features, he seems more and more familiar to you.

hey… he kinda looks like the guy on the wanted posters you’re seeing everywhere?? and that woman beside him too!

you don't notice yourself falling behind your friends until march calls out to you. “hey slowpoke, c’mon let’s go!” her words snap you out of your trance, and you quickly yell back an acknowledgment, before turning your attention back to the man —but he’s nowhere to be found.

a pang of disappointment washes over you as you scan the sea of faces, searching in vain for any sign of him. it's as if he was never there to begin with; with a heavy sigh, you reluctantly turn away, following march's lead as you weave through the people.

but even as you walk, your mind remains preoccupied with thoughts of him, his image burned into your memory like a flickering flame refusing to be extinguished, leaving you longing for another glimpse.

“hmm bladie… something caught your eye?�� kafka's voice breaks through the air, a teasing lilt dancing in her tone. blade’s gaze follows you as you move along with your companions, “find out who she is.”

kafka matches his line of sight, spotting you in the distance. “ah.. the newest member of the astral express crew” she continues without waiting for his response, "you seem to have taken quite a liking to her."

blade doesn’t confirm nor deny her words, eliciting a knowing smirk from kafka.

the next few days on luofu feels…unsettling. you can’t shake the feeling of being watched, a prickling sensation that crawled along your skin; a shadow lurking just beyond your peripheral vision. every corner you turned, every alley you passed felt fraught with a sense of unease.

you arrive upon an alleyway, stopping to take a breather. then you feel that ominous feeling again, causing your hair to stand on end. a sudden, loud thump echoes in the distance, causing you to whirl your head in that direction. you find a man unconscious, sprawled on the ground; instinctively, your body tenses, and your eyes widen in shock.

before you can make a sound, a bandaged hand reaches out, silencing you with its firm grip over your mouth; a voice breaks through the stillness from behind you, “don’t yell.” your heart skips a beat as the hoarse voice brushes against your ear, the unexpected touch sends a jolt of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“...who are you?” your voice muffling against the hand.

“knowing who i am is unnecessary.” the grip on your mouth loosens slightly. without hesitation, you whip around, your weapon materializing in your hand, ready to defend yourself. but before you’re able to strike, your hand is seized mid-air, halting your movement abruptly.

“i-it’s you!” the dim light of the alleyway casts shadows across his features, but you still recognize him. “what did you do t—” your words are cut off by the sound of approaching footsteps. in a swift motion, blade pulls you into a more secluded area, his body pressing tightly against yours.

guards swarm around the unconscious man, inspecting him closely. “that guy,” blade nudges his head in the direction of the man, “i saw him following you around.” everything in your head starts to click into place; he continues, “see that needle there.. he spiked it with sedatives earlier today.”

your pulse quickens as his words sink in, “don’t worry, he’s not dead, just…asleep, for a while.” (for a long while)

“i’m sorry, i thought you were going to hurt me— thank you…” he nods in acknowledgement. you can feel the warmth radiating from his body as he remains close even after the crowd has dispersed, a hint of blush colouring his cheeks, a contrast to his stoic look. you turn your head away, flustered by your proximity, your cheeks warming as you try to gather your thoughts.

he grasps your chin with his hand, your cheeks squished between his fingers; turning your head back and tilting it up to meet his gaze. “i just saved your life, aren’t you going to give me a reward?” you blink, trying to process his words, your face growing warmer each passing second under his intense scrutiny. part of you knows that this is wrong and wants to pull away, but another part is inexplicably drawn to his presence.

with a shaky breath, you manage to stammer out, "w-what kind of reward are you expecting?" your voice wavers. “you know exactly what i mean.” he remarks with a subtle smirk.

you decide to follow the urging of your heart, you lean in, pressing your lips against his, a brief and fleeting kiss. just as you begin to pull away, he pushes his other hand against the back of your head, drawing you back, deepening the kiss.

“[name]! where are you?”

march’s voice breaks through the moment, prompting you to push blade away abruptly. his annoyance evident in the slight downturn of his lips, and the subtle furrow of his brow. however, he quickly masks his emotions, returning to his usual deadpan face.

you give him an apologetic look as you peek out cautiously, catching a glimpse of march and welt’s figures in the distance, “i’m sorry bl—” you turn back only to find nothing except silence that surrounds you.

how does this man just keep vanishing into thin air?!

you shake off the lingering sensations, consciously calming yourself down from the rush of emotions stirred by the kiss. you place your fingertips against your lips, still tingling from the ghostly imprint of his touch; your heart thuds rapidly in your chest, each beat echoing loudly in your ears

oh aeons, you just kissed a criminal.

—

“bladie… looks like you enjoyed yourself, huh?”

"what?"

“you’re not fooling anyone” kafka points at her own lips.

what kind of smudge-proof lipstick do you wear… well at least it works... super well. he has a stain on the corner of his lips for the next few days.

“bro… you’re actually so downbad LOL. y'want me to track her location or sum?”

"...no need, i'll find her myself."

silverwolf won’t stop calling him a “simp”, whatever that means.

₊˚⊹♡

masterlist

[yayll]

~ a little something about Beast Dazai and his inability to let you go ~

Your hand trembles as you're about to knock on the massive office doors and you wonder if you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

You got too close working for this terribly lonely man, and now you're knocking at his door with the only solution you can think of to put an end to your silly infatuations that have gone on for longer than you'd want to admit and can possibly handle. You open the door slowly, and walk into the elegant and massive office space, your eyes falling right onto the dark haired man in all black hunched over the desk, scribbling away as if he didn't hear you come in. You walk quietly, and when you reach the wooden desk, your voice comes out soft and firm.

"Dazai, sir? I wanted to speak to you about something sensitive, if I may."

You chew on the corner of your bottom lip, but quickly compose yourself when you see the face of the man you've spent so much time with, the unfortunate love of your life. if it weren't for his Maroon scarf, he'd look like nothing but a black void. A burnt Black cat. He looks up, narrowed eyes scan you as he takes a sip of his tea, replying in a monotonous tone.

"What is it?"

"After much consideration, I think.. I need to leave the Port Mafia. We've worked together for quite a while now, and I can assure you it's not about the quality or enjoyment of my work. You don't even have to acknowledge this beyond me simply saying it, I just have to confess something that makes my heart ache. You make my heart ache. I know how unprofessional that sounds and that you have no use for such affections, but I can't keep pretending. It's why I think it's time for me to move onto something else otherwise my work will become disrupt-"

A lifted finger is shoved into your face, signaling you to stop, and so you do. Of course you do. You always had a habit of word vomiting when you were anxious. Dazai is staring down at his tea, and he stays quiet for a long time, trying to pick what emotion he can mask his real outraged ones with. Finally, he flashes you an unbothered look, his eyes half lidded as they taunt you. A cruel smirk curls onto his lips.

"Oh? What an awful time for your honesty! I'm currently drowning in work and responsibilities, ones that you're supposed to aid me with, actually. Thus, I have no use for your confession." He simply says.

You can feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You expected this. Looking down at your shoes, you chew on your lip again.

"I had to tell you.. Like I said, you can just forget about it."

"Well you see, that's the problem. I can't forget it. The moment you uttered those nasty little words to me, I realized I have to carry the weight of finding a new secretary. And I resent that."

He looks away for a brief second, his words are bitter and laced with what sounds like remorse and irritation.

You cross your arms and sigh, your voice comes out lower than your confidence.

"I just thought that we were... I suppose I should have never dared to assume you'd ever see me as more than a-"

He instantly leans over his desk, now placing a finger on your lip, his voice just above a whisper.

"... And though these feelings you have for me may be inconvenient, it doesn't mean that they're unwelcome."

He lets his finger rest on your lips for just a second too long, meanwhile you're frozen in place feeling like your chest is going to collapse in on itself. His voice becomes softer.

"Sit, please."

You sit down, now facing each other. It's quiet for a few moments as you both study each other's expressions. This form of intimacy was unusual to everyone else but the two of you, having spent countless hours in the past working across one another without uttering a single word, yet communicating in perfect sync. You were a part of each other's routines, a never ending spiral. Dazai feels himself teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something peeling away at his very soul. He's usually so arrogant and domineering, but in this instant, he suddenly feels an exhaustion wash over him trying to keep that going. He's kept it going for so long, he forgot that he doesn't like doing it with you. You don't deserve to be a part of all of this, and he doesn't deserve to want you.

Oh how he loathes his true identity: A simple man. A human man. Your man.

When he can't take it anymore, he slowly creeps his bandaged hand on top of yours, applying light pressure, but his eyes don't dare look into yours. Not yet. Finally, you break the silence, staring down with furrowed brows at the way your hands fit around one another. You mutter under your breath, tired of being vague.

"What are we to each other, Dazai? I mean really?"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you?" He snorts, trying to cling to the last of his cruelty but failing as he lets his emotions sway his judgement.

You sigh, flipping your hand over so that your fingers can fully intertwine.

"I just don't know how I could ever take up any space in your mind. I didn't think you noticed whether I stayed or left."

He looks up, flashing you a mildly offended look, his sharp eyes narrowing. He scoffs quietly, dropping your hand and standing up from his desk. He walks over to you, his full height now looming. He bends down and scolds you.

"What an obscene thing to say. You're invaluable. You have always been occupying my mind, every minute, every second, every microsecond. I always notice. I'd notice even if I was on my deathbed."

Your breath catches in your throat, and you finally manage to swallow the lump that's building up as you stare up at your reckoning.

"I just- I'd never try to leash you, sir."

His eyes soften, and he tilts his head slightly. You drive him mad with the way you don't realize what a dog he is for you. His voice comes out strained.

"You wouldn't need to. And don't call me that. You know my name, and as your superior l'm ordering you to address me properly."

Your cheeks flush, and you part your lips, letting out the breath you can't stop holding. A faint smile appears on your face, and you stand up slowly to meet him.

"You're like the moon, you know? You control everything like the tides. You control me, Osamu."

He shakes his head, and sighs deeply. If only you could see how wrong you were. He steps closer, moving his hand up your arm gently as he trails his way to your collarbone with ghost-like strokes.

"Did you know that sometimes when I'm laying in bed, all alone after a long day of controlling things, my only thoughts are about you?"

He confesses, sincerely. Dazai brings his face inches from yours, his voice now becoming a pleading whisper. His hand travels down to your waist, gripping it gently.

"Do you find it hard to believe that you bring me to my knees, the big scary Port Mafia boss? Because if so, you're a great fool! I love spending my time with you. I quite literally need you by my side in my times of need and at any random and mundane moment that passes. It brings me unimaginable joy when you nag me to get more sleep, especially when I don't listen because I can't wait to hear you say it over and over again. I don't like it when you have plans, or when you report to anyone else but me. I want you to stay with me tonight and every single night after and I don't care how awful this sounds. I don't care about you having a life outside of me."

Your throat feels tight, eyes wide at the fervor of his words alone. You reply with a shaky breath.

"Every single night after?"

"Every. Single. Night. After..."

"As if we were together?"

"We are together." He declares as if it were obvious this entire time.

Hearing Dazai be so blunt makes your mind fog over quickly, a whiplash of feelings that you never thought would ever see the light of day suddenly surface. He feels the same, realizing how much he's given away to you in such a short amount of time, but for him it's been rotting inside for years. He's been held together by the glue of your support too long not to kneel for you now. It's over for him, he's run out of masks to wear. He slowly guides your body backwards towards the opulent leather couch at the center of the room. You stop when you feel yourself backing up into the cool pebbled hide, and he slowly lowers you down onto your back with his arms supporting you. He delicately hovers over you, looking deeply into your eyes as he takes in the way your bodies feel against each other. For a moment he worries he might actually be trembling.

His breath hitches when you place a hand on the bandaged side of his face that covers his left eye. You stroke the fabric lightly, eyes twinkling with unfiltered adoration. He thinks about the only other person who's ever looked at him with such reverence, and how painful it is not to be able to tell his best friend he's in love. He leans into your touch, humming softly and closing his eyes as he molds his lips deeply into yours. It's not a kiss of sexual desire. This is a kiss born of romance and intimacy, a mutual oath of surrender. cold bandaged hands instinctively wander your body, starting at the waist down to your hips, and slowly exploring the plush of your thighs, kneading them. He runs them higher, lightly tracing your ribs with his index finger while the other hand cups your face. Dazai's mouth moves gently, and slowly pulls away from yours with a soft whine. His fingers trace your jawline as he stares at you. You taste like milk and honey. Like the moon and rain. He smiles at you, eyes sparkling like the night sky. You feel his heartbeat against your body. Every single pore of your skin is connected.

"Please— don't leave the Port Mafia, and don't leave me alone... Not tonight. Not ever. I'd become a tyrant without you."

"Is that also an order?" You murmur in between shallow breaths, dreamy eyes trained on him.

His eyes flicker over to your lips for a moment, then return to your eyes. His voice drops to something that resembles a soft whimper.

"Noo. No, it's not. I could never demand anything from you. But if you'll allow me to act selfishly, I just want to make you happy, to see you smile. I want you to keep greeting me with that tea you make every morning before our meetings. I also never want to hear you call me 'Sir' again. I am not your boss or your friend... I'm so much more than that. We've always been together. We will always be together— Is this too much?"

You shake your head, smiling uncontrollably at the way Dazai rambles in this moment, it's a side of him you've never seen in all the years you've known him. A stark contrast from the detached and cruel presence that frightens others on an almost daily basis. This seems like a person pretending to be the boss of the Port Mafia, an almost perfect imitation. You're not sure what barriers within him had to break for him to become the mushy and needy mess you see before you and what it all means in the long run, but you dismiss it for now. You get the feeling this might be the real Osamu Dazai. And that excites you.

"Never too much. I'm here and I'm staying. I would always stay."

He chuckles, it's a broken shaky laugh bordering on a sob. He buries himself in your neck, smiling against your soft skin, nibbling on it. He lightly runs his tongue against the mark he leaves, and slowly lifts his gaze to meet yours

"... I know you would. You always do."

You tilt your head, and hum in mild confusion at his odd little comment.

"Do you know something I don't?"

He flashes you a knowing smile and speaks prophetically as he lightly traces a finger over a large vein on your neck, following it down to your soft chest. He murmurs lazily while bringing his lips down to where he won't be able to get them off for the rest of the night.

"I know everything, silly.~"

The Port Mafia can wait, he's going home first.

[librababe99]

Echoes of Her

A/N: Nothing like a little angst to start everyones day! As always comments and feedback are appreciated--My asks are open as well! I hope everyone enjoys - Libra * .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ Summary: Caught in a painful love triangle with Logan and Jean Grey, the reader confronts Logan about their unspoken connection... Warnings: Angst, Hurt without comfort, love triangle  Word Count: 1146 

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The silence in the mansion's corridors was thick, the kind that presses against your chest, making it hard to breathe. Every step you took echoed off the cold, marble floors as you made your way to the training room. It was late—too late for anyone else to be awake—but you knew he'd be there. He always was when the weight of the world became too much to bear.

You paused outside the door, your hand hovering just above the handle. A part of you didn't want to go in. You already knew what you'd find—Logan, shirtless and sweating, his muscles rippling as he pushed himself far beyond what was necessary. He didn't need to train, not really. You both knew that. It was his way of escaping the thoughts that clawed at him, the memories that refused to stay buried.

And you knew why he was there tonight.

Jean.

The name alone sent a sharp pang through your heart. You weren't naive. You saw the way Logan looked at her, the way his eyes softened, his gruff demeanor shifting whenever she was around. He was a man of few words, but his actions spoke louder than any confession ever could. He loved her—he loved her in a way that was primal, consuming. But Jean… Jean was with Scott.

You weren't sure where you fit into all of this. You and Logan had a connection, something raw and unspoken. But it was hard to define what that was when his heart was so clearly caught between two worlds—between you and the woman he could never truly have.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the small lamp in the corner. Logan was there, just as you knew he'd be. His back was to you, the muscles of his shoulders and arms flexing as he pounded his fists into the punching bag.

"Logan," you called softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He didn't stop, didn't even acknowledge you. His focus was singular, every punch carrying the weight of his frustrations. You walked closer, each step feeling like a mile, until you were standing just a few feet behind him.

"Logan, please," you tried again, your voice trembling.

This time, he paused, his hands dropping to his sides. Slowly, he turned to face you, and your heart clenched at the sight of his face—those deep-set eyes, filled with pain and something else you couldn't quite place.

"Why are you here, kid?" he asked, his voice rough and tired.

You winced at the nickname, one he'd given you long ago when you'd first joined the X-Men. Back then, it had been endearing, a sign of the bond you were building. But now… now it felt like a reminder of the distance between you.

"I could ask you the same thing," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

Logan huffed, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "Needed to clear my head."

You nodded, though you both knew it was more than that. "I thought maybe… maybe you needed someone to talk to."

He looked at you then, really looked at you, and for a moment, you saw the walls he'd built up around himself start to crumble. But just as quickly, they were back in place, his expression hardening.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said gruffly.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. "Logan… you don't have to pretend with me. I know you're hurting."

His jaw clenched, the muscles in his neck tightening as he looked away. "And what do you want me to say, huh? That you're right? That I can't get her outta my head? That every time I see her with him, it feels like a goddamn knife in my chest?"

Your breath caught in your throat, the raw honesty in his words cutting through you like a blade. But it wasn't just his pain that hurt—it was the realization that you were a part of it. That maybe, just maybe, you were only a distraction, something to keep him from drowning in his feelings for Jean.

"I don't want to be your second choice," you whispered, the words escaping before you could stop them.

Logan's eyes snapped back to you, surprise flickering in their depths. "You're not—"

"Aren't I?" you interrupted, your voice trembling. "Because that's what it feels like. Every time you're with me, it's like you're trying to forget about her. But I can't—Logan, I can't be that person for you. I can't keep pretending that this doesn't hurt."

He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to touch your arm, but you pulled away, the distance between you growing. The look of hurt that flashed across his face was almost enough to make you reconsider, but you held your ground.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You shook your head, tears welling in your eyes. "I know you are. But sorry doesn't change anything, does it?"

Logan's shoulders slumped, the weight of your words crashing down on him. "I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did," you replied, your voice breaking. "And I don't know if I can keep doing this. I can't keep being in love with you when you're in love with her."

The silence that followed was deafening, the air between you thick with unspoken words. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the battle he was fighting within himself. But you knew—deep down, you knew—he wasn't going to choose you. Not really.

"I don't want to lose you," he finally said, his voice raw with emotion.

You took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to steady yourself. "You already have."

The words hung in the air, a finality to them that neither of you could ignore. And as you turned to leave, you felt a part of your heart break, knowing that this was the end of whatever it was you and Logan had.

You walked out of the room, each step heavier than the last, the distance between you and Logan growing with every second. You didn't look back—you couldn't. Because if you did, you knew you'd crumble. You knew you'd run back to him, and you couldn't allow yourself to do that.

As you reached the end of the hallway, you paused, your hand resting on the wall for support. The tears you'd been holding back finally spilled over, and you let them fall, each one a release of the pain you'd been carrying for so long.

But even through the tears, you knew one thing: you deserved more than being second best. And as much as it hurt to walk away from Logan, you knew it was the only way to heal.

The only way to find yourself again.

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Part two

[sungvrhs]

Rile Me Up ; Lee Heeseung

Genre; Explicit | Heeseung x Female!reader word count; 6.1k

note: It's my first time writing an explicit content, I don't really know how it turned out😭. This took a slight turn ISTG TT.

dedicated to my bestie @heelvsted HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!

It hasn't been long since you both were tied to the knots of marriage and Heeseung was typically an introverted and a reserved person; always letting pass the situations that could have led to any sort of argument. You couldn’t remember even if you guys had any sort of argument or if Heeseung had ever lost his temper. He usually remained calm and poise which just made you even more curious of his intimidating nature that you heard from his friends but never got to see. There was merely, according to Beomgyu, his very close mate, a chance to aggravate that side of him, which was quite upsetting to you as you were like an open book to your man as she could easily read through the slightest expressions worn upon your face, whilst you here were still not exposed to the different natures he possessed.

But one thing that Heeseung’s sister slipped to you was how he would easily get jealous over the people he loved. “What do you mean by him getting jealous over you guys?” You remember the conversation that you had over the tea as Lee Iseul spoke, “Like a typical man, Heeseung gets jealous when he gets undivided attention, or the lack of interest when he is out conversing with the former person. And since you’re his woman, I bet this trait of his would be much more polished than before.” She spoke while nudging onto your shoulder. It was amusing how you and Iseul had grown closer after your marriage and that now you both were like each other’s ride or die; whether it be lending ears to each other’s rant or taking relationship advice, it was always the both of you slipping in each other’s direct messages. 

“Oh you’re totally going to the party on the weekend Y/n. Come on! Don’t be a party pooper.” Iseul whined, not liking how introverted you had grown due to the sudden change in your ‘MBTI,’ as you labeled it. She didn’t buy it as an excuse from your end as she dragged you back to your room. “Now this is what I call a ‘gathering to gossip girl’ outfit. And your gaze went to what she was holding; a sleek, all black dress. “Oh I won’t buy the simplicity of the dress cause you’re wearing it exactly the way I want.” You heard Iseul speak as she pointed a finger at you whilst you tried to fight back, letting a sigh escape your lips. “But Iseul, you know Heeseung hates such attire.” Iseul made her way towards your jewelry, as she found a matching choker to compliment the pair of dangling earrings and a 3 inch heel. “Oh come on, when did you exactly wear any outfit like that in front of my brother?” You opened your mouth to speak a few words but closed them back as you pressed your lips in a thin line. ‘Right, when did I actually ever wear an outfit like that in front of him.’ “You’re married to him, Y/n. Not kept as a captive that you can’t wear what you want.” It was extremely new coming from her end but you did agree to what she said. You wanted to try it for once and she gave you the slightest hunch of courage. “Besides, who knows what would awaken in Mr.Lee for the day after you dress like a three course meal.” You turned at her comment, feeling your cheeks burning just at the mere thought of it. “ISEUL!” You spoke, hiding your face in your hands as she laughed at your reaction. “You both are a freaking match made in heaven.” And she knew exactly what she meant.

“Iseul, I don’t know if I look decent enough-” You got cut off by Iseul, “You look absolutely gorgeous darling. What a riveting sight for my brother. How did he dare not to acknowledge such beauty?” Your cheeks flushed at her words. Well, it wasn’t that you weren’t used to compliments, but the mere mention of your husband just made it hard for you to accept as a lump formed in your throat. He never exactly spoke it out in words, or maybe you were just a little bad at picking up on hints. You were a little expressive and quite shy type at the same time while he reflected a strange cold demeanor; keeping the conversations to a minimum, not at all a party person, letting his soft smile elicit when he was surrounded by his friends, family, including you. 

You took one glance at the mirror as you heard the honking of the car, catching both of yours attention as Iseul speaks. “I'll get it.” You nodded as you followed her a little later after you heard slight giggles of the Lee siblings. “Nah it’s always you who takes the most time to dress up!” You heard Heeseung speak as you made your way out of the room, your heels clicking as they caught the attention of the both of them, leaving Heeseung awestruck at the breathless beauty that stood in front of him, the thin layer of blush lightening up with the natural one as you broke apart the eye contact with him. “Come on love birds, you both can have a staring contest later.” You heard Iseul speak as Heeseung scratched his nape. “After you ladies.” 

Reaching the destination felt like a gust of wind as you had almost started to drown in the starry night above your head but it all came to a halt when the car came to rest. Iseul made her way out first as she went to greet her friends as you made your way out of the car, taking a minute to adjust your hair as you felt Heeseung snaking his hand around your waist, making you hault your movements for a bit as you turned to face him, only to find him looking up at you already. His blueberry hair complimented the shades of moonlight as he had that soft smile on his face. “Are we good to go?” You took a quick glance down your dress as you nodded, interlocking your hands with his.

“Y/n! Over here!” You both made way towards the center of the whole but your attention was averted when you heard your name being called out. You turned around as your mouth parted due to the amusement. “Jay! Oh my god!” You made your way towards your cousin, more like your half brother as you left Heeseung behind, letting alone the man confused at what caught your eye. He followed your fading steps, only to be met by slight giggles eliciting from your ends as he raised his eyebrows in perplexity. 

“Y/n! My god you changed within a few years. Thank god, otherwise you were so unbearable.” Jay joked, making a face of disgust as you slapped his arm, earning a chuckle from his end. “At least better than you, cousin.” He had his mouth agape dramatically as he spoke. “Oh, you didn't just cousin-zoned me did you?” He had his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he spoke, earning an eye roll from you. Why of course he was your cousin, not until his father and your mother got married after your father passed away, so now you both were practically step siblings. But the thing that kept the boundaries straight was that you both had platonic love for each other. Whilst you both were the single child of your families, you both helped to fill the void of having a sibling to each other. He never turned down any of your childish requests and so didn’t you. But it was about time that after he turned 19, he got a scholarship acceptance to the States and had moved there, applying for the better opportunities to continue his studies and later planned and accomplished on setting his own firm. It was later the following year that you had applied for an online remote job which ended up being from his very own firm. And that is how you both were able to connect back after ages. 

Before you had the chance to answer him, you felt a hand softly pulling you away from his embrace as you looked up to find Heeseung, completely void of any sort of cheerful expression. That facade of bliss and joy that he had on his charming face a few minutes ago vanished into thin air. "Hi I assume you're, Mr.Park? The one Y/n talks about the most." You hear Heeseung speak, getting the slight hint of sarcasm dropping down his words as he makes eye contact with you, wearing that facade of an adoring smile on his face, proving that he was, indeed, amused to have met him. You mentally scoff at his actions but you're slightly pleased at finding something that could rile him up. You heard Jay softly chuckling as he was embarrassed at Heeseung's words, yet he nodded, extending a handshake to him as Heeseung returned it politely. It was sure that he didn't have beefs with him for the start but they could turn into one if the conversation made a U-turn.

"I'm delighted to know that I'm familiar to someone as respectable as you Mr.Lee. It's an honor to have her in our company. The walls of this firm are built with the chunks of effort she has put in for the past years." The sincerity of his words had your eyes sparkled with delight, accompanying the warmth that was filled in your heart for him. It was always these small gestures that made you feel like home whenever you were with Jay. And the way he was addressing Heeseung so formally almost had you holding back your laughter.

"Thank you Jay, or should I say, Mr.Park?" You spoke with a slight grin as Jay laughed at your words, slightly embarrassed on how casual he was being with you in front of your husband. “Anything for you cousin sister.” He turned to face Heeseung who had a slight smile on his face as he addressed a handshake to him, to which he gladly returned. “It was an honor meeting you Mr.Lee. I’m glad that Y/n is in good hands.” Jay let a small smile linger on his lips as the older returned it with a warm one. Guess the interaction wasn’t that bad afterall. The younger’s phone rang as he fished his phone out of his pocket, excusing himself from the conversation, leaving the two of you facing each other. The loud music that rang in your ears slowly faded upon the sight of your man right in front of you. It was confirmed that you were a swoon for him, but it just wasn’t the time to let it be evident to him. 

You heard the latter letting out a soft chuckle as he tugged one of his hands in his pocket whilst the other made way around your waist pulling you closer as his actions left you flustered. You surely didn’t know what got this new side of him out all of a sudden but all your thoughts were shattered as you heard his breath lingering on your ears, with a soft whisper melting through your ears. "That smile was supposed to be exclusively for me Mrs.Lee. I presume you forgot your dear promise." He pulled back slightly as he tucked a loose hair strand behind your ear, taking your breath away just by a single gesture as you held onto your racing heartbeats, facing flushing to a deeper shade of red. “I met him after a long time.” You spoke softly, letting your hand reach his shoulder in a delicate grip as you tugged your lips in a thin line. Surely it was evident how you had kept yourself from practically getting into a playful fight with Jay because you were in a formal gathering, but something about Heeseung’s sudden shift in moods didn’t go unnoticed by you. Just as Heeseung was about to say something, you heard Iseul speak, “Oh get a room you lovebirds. Singles would not like you to experience a whole showcase.” You turned to face her, eyes widened at her words as she shrugged her shoulders. With that Heeseung let loose his embrace as you awkwardly fixed your hair, feeling slightly embarrassed at the attention that Iseul had gathered on the both of you.

“Girl what was that?” Iseul dragged you in a far corner as Heeseung interacted with his ‘elite 01’s’ as they cheered for the newly wedded couple. “What?” You questioned her, seeming confused at how everything was turning a little different than before, but was it worth to be questioned or to be just experienced? “Did you not see how my brother was all riled up when you met Jay?” You pondered over his words, remembering how he was sly enough to pull you close to him as to which you spoke, “Yeah he was actually indifferent as if he didn’t know who Jay was? Like Jay is one of the most important family members to me and I might have spoken about him a dozen of times-""Well, maybe this is why he felt all jealous, girl, don’t you get it?” you got cut off by Iseul as she raised her eyebrows. You were about to speak but paused midway, taking note of what she said. And then it clicked you. “No way, he was jealous? Of Jay?” You kept a hand on your mouth, slightly shocked at the new discovery as you whispered to her, to which she acknowledged. “No way.” You kept your face in your hands, not letting this opportunity slip by. “Now that you scratched it out…” Iseul had a mischievous smile on her face, as to which you nodded sideways. “You’re not doing anything stupid are you?” You said, as to which she disagreed. “No no, absolutely not my dear sister-in-law.” And now that she said that, you knew something was up in her mind.

The ride back home was nothing but silence; Iseul decided to stay a bit longer with her friends as to which neither of you minded, and Jay, well he wasn’t quite seen around after that last encounter before you guys headed. You could see how Heeseung had his gaze traveling to Jay as hugged you by the side, ruffling your hair as to which you were taken by surprise, a soft chuckle leaving your lips. “Let’s meet again soon, both of you.” Jay spoke as he embraced the elder in a warm hug, as to which he reciprocated the energy. “We will surely. It was nice meeting you.” Heeseung spoke, as you nodded, bidding him farewell as you both took the ride back home. Neither of you had an exchange of words as Heeseung drove whilst you stared outside at the starry night. Nothing seemed to have changed; not a single star as it felt like it was exactly the same moment that you were reliving for the moment. You almost felt like dozing off to sleep as the light brushed of the wind was reliving, until you felt a message pop up on your phone, gaining your attention as you went to receive it, only to find Iseul dropping one of the longest texts that you had ever seen, letting you eyes widen as it didn’t fail to catch Heeseung’s attention.

“What was with Jay, or should I say, Mr.Park.” Heeseung spoke, taking off his coat as you had your eyes fixed on the phone. Not hearing a reply from your end he turned to face you, only to find you engrossed into texting as he poked his inner cheek. You were testing his patience for the day and he was at the edge of losing it. He waited for a few more seconds until you responded. “Well, what about him?” You spoke, looking up to him only to be slightly taken aback by the way he had his one hand in his pocket and the other holding his coat. ‘Oh he looks so fine.’ You didn’t want to make it evident that you were drooling over him so you turned your attention back to your phone. “The mere amount of closeness between the two of you was uncomfortable to me.” Well one thing you appreciated about him was that he was outspoken; he would always let the former person know if any of his or her acts was bothering him in any way.

“Well, it has always been this way Hee, don’t make a big deal about it.” Oh now that you said it, you could feel his gaze practically pinning down on you as you continued to use your phone, letting it slip aside that what you just spoke was nowhere close to how you usually speak to him. 

‘Gosh Iseul I swear I'm going to kill you with my very own hands.’ You thought to yourself, mentally cursing her for making you do this. “‘Will you keep that phone down for a mere second Y/n?” He spoke, throwing his coat on the couch as he turned to face you, pissed  off at how you had your undivided attention on him. “Mhm I am listening to you Hee-” You got cut off by him as he took pacing steps towards you, grasping your attention as he swiftly took your phone away, leaving you startled as you stood up in front of him. “Hee, give it back.” You reached out for the phone as he moved back, sneaking through what you were doing as you noticed a small smirk appearing on his face, as to which you took a step back, heels clicking the floor. He lifted his gaze from the phone as he locked contact with you, turning to face you completely. “So Mrs.lee certainly wanted me to expose a hidden side of mine?” He let out a husky chuckle, not failing to awaken butterflies in your stomach as you spoke, “No, it was just a literary device that Iseul used.” Well that was one pathetic excuse but you prayed it was enough to convince him that this was not what you intended. 

“He let out another chuckle at your words as his free hand went to undo his tie, tensing up the atmosphere all of a sudden as a lump formed in your throat. He tossed the phone down on the couch as your gaze went to it, getting distracted as you failed to notice how he was now standing only a few inches close to you as you moved back a bit, causing him to take one step forth; one step backwards, two steps forward. That is how it was following, only the clicking of the heels of yours and his shoes echoing in the cozy lounge as your back eventually hit the wall, letting your eyes slightly widen as you wished to be fast enough to move to the side, failing miserably as he kept his hands on either side of you, trapping you in between as your gaze went up to look through his mischievous one. ‘This was not what I was expecting.’ Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt him leaning towards your ear, slipping another sentence for the day that almost made you weak on your knees.

“I'm giving you 20 seconds to run, Y/n. Only 20. If I catch you, I’ll fuck you.”

__________________________________________________________

“I'm giving you 20 seconds to run, Y/n. Only 20. If I catch you, I’ll fuck you.” A husky chuckle left his lips as his hand slipped back to his pockets as he pulled back, eyeing you from top to bottom as your breath hitched at his words. “W-What?” You managed to gain back your long lost voice as he took a step back, amused at your flustered reaction. “I said what I said. 20 seconds Y/n. I am starting the countdown. 1…2…” “W-Wait wait! Hee! What the heck do I do?” You panicked as he started his manual countdown as he shrugged his shoulders. “5…6…7…” You turned around to take off your heels but it seemed like luck wasn’t helping. “8…9…10…11” ‘Oh fuck.’ You left what you were doing as you made way to your bedroom, sprinting through the stairs as you were risking your life with the 3 inch heel and the narrow staircase. “12…13…Oh, be careful dear wife, I don’t want you to fall.” You turned to look at him as he took slight steps towards the path you followed, causing you to enter your room as you turned the doorknob lock, taking a deep breath. “What did I get myself into?” You took a few steps towards your bed, still hearing him count for god knows how long before he finally stopped. You took off your heels, thankfully they weren’t a problem this time as your attention turned to the silence that engulfed the atmosphere.

“Hee?” You heard no voice from the door as you turned open the doorknob, stepping out to not find him downstairs. “Heeseung, this is nowhere close to being funny.” You spoke in an annoyed tone as you closed the door behind you, making your way towards the staircase. “Hee-” You got cut off as you felt a hand tugging on your wrist as you turned around and slammed back on the door, a gasp leaving your lips as you were met by his siren gaze. “What the heck Heeseung?” A low chuckle escaped his lips as he spoke. “I’m obliged to my words but it seems like you weren’t?” his behavior made it seem like he might have been high on drugs, because this was definitely new coming from his end. “Heeseung what is up with you-” “You wanted me to be like an open book to you right? You wanted to discover all of my personalities.” Your breath hitched at the close proximity while his cinnamon breath fanned on your lips, his orbs capturing yours in a ravishing contact. “H-Hee.” His name left as a whisper as you kept your hands on his chest, causing a short distance to develop between the two of you as you almost held back to your breath. “You invoked the element of jealousy in me, love. And now I won’t be holding it back.” 

Before you had a chance to fight back, you felt him pulling you in a messy lip-lock, his hand sliding down to pull you closer by the waist as the other took hold of your jaw, fingers softly rubbing down the back of your neck as he took you by surprise. The heart fluttering radiance made way to spread through your veins like a blazing wildfire as you reciprocated the feeling, throwing your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer. Time and tide waits for none, and that is exactly what Heeseung was holding onto as he took his own time to savour the sweetness plattered on your lips, seeming like he would never get enough of it as he took the opportunity to tuck on your bottom lip, letting a gasp elicit from you end as he slipped his tongue, enjoying every inch of the hot chambers as an excited moan escapes his lips. Whilst you were running breathless, you softly tapped his shoulders, causing him to slow down his movements as he broke apart the lip-lock, a string of saliva keeping both of you connected after the slight intimacy. Panting for air as he opened his eyes, finding your amused ones as he slightly frowned. “What?” He spoke, pushing his hand away from your neck as he took his support by the wall next to the door, feeling his own cheeks heating up at the flashbacks of the past few moments you both shared. “I didn’t know you would act all riled up because of mere jealousy.” You spoke softly, finding it witty how the man who was all jealous was now flushing in embarrassment. He had a slight grin on his face as he spoke, “Well you unravelled it after all, there was no point in hiding it.” He looked away scratching his nape on how he got carried away.

“I’ll be more careful in bringing it out more often.” You spoke, placing your arm on his shoulders as you fondly gazed at him, eyes never leaving his as his hands held your arms in an agile grip. “I’d be more than glad to serve you each time.” A low chuckle leaves his lips as he speaks. “But for now…” with a sparkle in his eyes and a hint of mischievousness ligering in his words, you tilted your head in confusion as he lifted you in his arms, taking you by surprise as a loud chuckle escapes your lips, pushing through the unlocked door as he softly placed you on the the spongy mattress. “Do I have your consent for the night, Lee Y/n?” He spoke, seeking your consent whilst it fluttered your heart, welling up tears in our orbs as you nodded. Hovering over you as he planted a fragile kiss on your forehead, sealing the promise of compassion and devotion under the shimmering moonlight. “You had no option to deny it either way, love.” He whispered whilst sitting up, undoing his tie as he unbuttoned the first button of his shirt, letting it loose as he crawled up to settle between your thighs as he looked at you, smirking at your flustered state. “Oh don’t look at me like that, help me take this off.” He spoke, pulling you up with his grip as you slightly gasped, with his hands guiding you to the buttons of his shirt. “You are so incorrigible.” Taking your own time to tease him as your fingers traced down his chest, his muscles tensing up as you undid the buttons, letting it fall apart as he got rid of it, revealing the chiseled body underneath, the sculpted abs and the muscles that lined his biceps and shoulders, with his pecs were smooth and well-defined, the veins in his arms pulsated as he moved them around.

His dark gaze lingering over yours as he ducked down, pressing his lips against yours as you returned the feverish sensation back with the same will, draping your hands around his neck to pull him closer, leaving no space for air to creep up in between. His hand fumbled through the hem of your dress, sliding through it as the dress crept up, letting the cold air make contact with your bare skin underneath as it sent shivers down your spine. "You're mine, all mine." He whispered against your  lips, the words sending another spark through your veins as youI nodded, "I know." He pulled apart, his hands still caressing your waist as he sat up. "Take it off." 

His demanding tone might have caught you off guard as he was never this demanding before. Going along with the word play as you retorted back playfully. "What?" It was bold of you to assume that you could do a foreplay, whilst being under him. as a low chuckle escaped his lips whilst he spoke, his hands resting on my thighs. "Take that fancy little dress off you or should I get the job done?" I smirked at his words. "Why don't you do it yourself, Mr.Lee." You spoke, fumbling with his belt as he scoffed, pulling up the dress as he threw it aside, leaving you in your inners. "Oh, you're way too bold." He teased as he ran his hands over your thighs. Whilst his gaze followed the trace of his fingers on your skin, he spoke, “Just remember my love, the night is still young.” He turns his gaze back to you, flashing you that one troublesome gaze which you despised the most. He won’t be letting you go this easily.

His rousing tone rushed like a never-ending stream as you could feel yourself getting drenched just by his mere touches. But you chose not to give in as you gulped, trying to shove off the shakiness in your tone. It was evident how you pulled apart from the intense eye contact, as his gaze softened, coming forth to place a soft kiss on your nose as he tucked a loose hair strand behind your ear. “I promise to be gentle, my love. If you don’t want this we can stop-” “Hey, it’s okay I know you won’t hurt me.” You cut him off in between as you took a deep sigh. He seeked for any traces of lies hiding behind your hazel orbs as he spoke. “Are you sure Y/n? I have never rushed things with you so I don’t want our first to be an uncomfortable experience.” The switch from the heated atmosphere to a more admiring, concerning and light hearted made your heart at a little ease. You thought for a while as you looked up to his bambi orbs. “I…I just don’t want to embarrass myself in front of you.” Just as these words left your mouth you heard slight laughter from his end. “W-whats so funny?” You spoke, a questionable frown appearing on your face as he turned his head sideways, a small grin on his face. “Now where did the ‘all bold Y/n’ go huh? Weren’t you the one determined to encounter these moments more often? To be in this position 24/7” He spoke, rubbing his nose against yours as he looked down at you, eyeing you from top to bottom as the actions made the blood rush up against your cheeks. “HEESEUNG!” You spoke, reaching out for the bed sheet, as he held your hands gently, pinning them sideways as he spoke, “Don’t shy away from me, love.” his hands tracing behind your back as his fingers rested on the strap of your bandeau, seeking your permission with his eyes whilst you nodded, letting him take it off, revealing your chest. “You’re insanely beautiful.” He placed a soft kiss on one of your bosoms, letting your heart flutter at his words as a soft moan escaped your lips as he continued, “The most heavenly sight to my eyes.” placing another kiss on your collarbone. “My glamorous beauty.” trailing kisses up to our jaws as you intertwined your fingers with his. “My woman.” he spoke, placing a tender kiss on your lips, full of love and compassion as he pulled apart, admiring the view underneath him. The past few moments that resided with jealousy and lust were now engulfed with words of appreciation and compassion. 

He paused for a moment, letting you take a breather before he left another trail of tender kiss down through your body as his hands rested on your inner thighs, parting them slightly as your heartbeats paced up. Letting his fingers hover around your cervix as he let an airy chuckle escape his lips. “Relax love, close your eyes.” You obliged to his words, gripping onto the bed sheets as you felt his fingers encircling, letting your lips fall apart whilst another moan escaped your lips. “Feels good?” He questions, lifting up to see your parted lips as he chuckles, finding it adorable how they were simply falling apart just by his fingers. You simply nodded, too engrossed in the feeling to form words to express it out to him. Before you had the chance to savour the feeling, you felt his pushing one of his fingers inside you, letting a yelp escape your lips as he pushes it in and out, slowly yet pacing with every passing second as you moan a mess for him “Hee-eseung ahh, i-it f-feels too g-good o-oh fuck” You exclaim, eyes rolling back at the feeling as you feel your orgasm progressing forth. “Yeah? It feels cherishing?” You could pick up the hints of mischievousness in his tone yet again but you were high enough on your organism to let out any words to agree with him. “Let go of it, my love.” Those words were enough for you to untie the knot in your stomach, welcoming your arousal on the tip of his fingers as he pulls out, relishing the taste as he licks his fingers clean, hips lips falling apart as he speaks, “Sweet and devouring, just like you.” Your face flushes at his words, letting your grip loosen on the sheets as you hear the unbuckling of his belt, causing you to lift up your head as your eyes traced down to his fingers fumbling with his lowers, getting rid of each and every one of the clothing.

“Lift your hips up for me, love.” he whispered close to your ears, sending butterflies through your body as you granted him the favor as his hands gripped on your legs, pulling them over his shoulders to get a better access. “Let me know when it hurts okay?” He spoke, his tender gaze meeting yours as you nodded. With a single swift motion, he dunked his shaft deep inside you, causing a moan to escape your lips as you held onto his shoulders, thrusting slowly as he held onto your hips, placing soft kisses near your orbs. “My beautiful woman, taking me in so perfectly.” A low moan escapes his lips as he tugs on his bottom lip, throwing his head back on how graceful you look underneath him; with the moonlights cascading down to on you, reflecting against your brimming hazel orbs as the beads of sweat drip down from your forehead, your messy locks spread wild whilst your milky skin contrasted the monochrome shades of plum bedsheet. With every thrust he gives, he kisses away your tears, his fingers rubbing circles against your hips, whispering nothing but appreciation in your ears as loud moans continue to escape your lips, with him taking in each and every one of them in a gentle kiss. “Hee, I-I’m c-close.” You whimper, with your words almost leaving as a whisper as you hear him speak. “I am too, just let go when you can.” And with those words he continues to let slow thrusts, letting your arousal hit your peak once again as you let go, your expressions relieving as he his muscles contract. “F-Fuck Y/n, I’m coming too.” He throws his head back, pulling out as he lets go of his organism, his body faltering as he lets his head lose, both of you panting after the intercourse. 

“You…you did so well my love.” He spoke, taking deep breaths as he looked up to meet your eyes, a smile lingering on your lips as you chuckle. “You were good enough to make me feel like on cloud nine.” You spoke, causing him to chuckle as he drops next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulls you close, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. “No, you were the one to take in so well my angel.” He placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You both stayed in each other’s embrace for a few good minutes, residing in each other’s comfort as his hands caressed your shoulders. His eyes never left yours as you broke in a laughter. “What are you staring at?” you spoke, captivating each and every one of his features as your fingers traced his jawline. “I’m staring at someone who reflects my whole universe.” He spoke cheekily, causing you to roll your eyes playfully at him. “You’re so cheesy, Hee. You hype me up for no reason.” You spoke, causing him to let out a dramatic gasp as he spoke. “For no reason?” His eyes widened at your words as he spoke. “You complete my life. If I were to pick that one best thing that happened in my life, it would be getting married to you.” He spoke as he peppered kisses on your face, starting with your cheeks as he spoke, “You,” then your forehead, “complete,” followed by your nose, “my,” and then your lips, “whole life.” letting small giggles escape your lips as you hugged his torso. “You’re mine too.” you spoke, letting the silence engulf the two of you again as he once again broke it. “Shower?” You turned to face him as you spoke, “Only if you don’t go for something else.” He laughed at your words. “No no I promise. It’s just the aftercare.” His eyes sparkled under the moonlight as his fingers grazed through your locks.

note#2: T T I tried my best, I never had an experience of writing these type of contents. If there are any grammatical errors, please ignore because English is not my first language. Feel free to leave comments and re-blog <3

[kunaskitten]

Monster Lines (trueform!sukuna x reader) [heian era]

> Warnings: trueform!sukuna x reader, heian era, sukuna and reader are husband and wife, it's just fluff

> Word Count: 880

> A/N: you know that scene between quasimodo and esmeralda where she shows him that he doesn't have any monster lines? this is that, but with Sukuna. this has probably already been done before but I saw that scene again last night and had to write about it. not my art; credits to @ daimengwww on twitter

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The King of Curses did not sulk. Ryomen Sukuna did not sulk. Your husband did not sulk. At least, that's what you had always thought.

But as you stepped into your shared chambers late in the evening after getting ready for bed, you saw a sight you felt you weren't meant to see. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, turned away from you, and the room felt different. His four arms were folded in a way that made him look smaller if that was even possible.

You had only seen this look once before, in the quiet moments when no one else was watching; when Sukuna allowed himself a rare moment to drop the mask he wore nonstop.

You close the door and turn the lock, then walk slowly and sit down next to him a bit hesitantly. As you look up at him, the sight becomes more real and unfamiliar. The smirk he usually greets you with is nowhere to be seen. Despite his overwhelming physique, at this moment, he looks more delicate than a freshly plucked flower. It's almost like if you pulled too hard, he would unravel.

Sukuna didn't acknowledge you directly. He exhaled hard through his nose as if he was deeply frustrated by something. You lean against him to remind him that you're here for him. You're not really sure how to act since you don't know what's bothering him, but he doesn't leave you in the dark for long.

"They fear me," he muttered, his voice was oddly soft. "They say my name like it's cursed and act as if it burns their tongues." He chuckled dryly, seemingly trying to cope by laughing it off. "But they will still grovel when they want something from me. Whether it be power or mercy, it doesn't matter."

You went still, truly not knowing how to react now. You still couldn't tell. Was Sukuna truly bothered by how people saw him? You never realized it could've affected him in this way.

He exhales again and looks down at his knees, his hands curl into a fist as he speaks. "To them, I am a monster. Not a human, not a man, just something to be criticized. And the fools who worship me are none the better. Their love is that of an insect swarming a corpse."

His tone was soft still, but his words had an edge to them that showed a bit of the weight beneath them. The feelings. To most, it's a small sign that they would've missed, but to you, it was like a blinding light that you couldn't unsee even if you tried. Your heart pangs at the sight of Sukuna calling himself a monster...

You slowly extend your hand and take one of his large hands, holding it in both of yours. He scoffed at you. "What are you doing now?"

You looked at him and smiled softly, then turned your attention back to his hand. Turning it over you run your fingers across his palm, tracing over the lines. You knew there was a chance he would stop you, but you answered him anyway. "I'm reading your fortune."

That made him finally look at you. He turned his head to face you, eyes slightly wide and his expression was simultaneously confused and amused. "Hah. You mean to tell me you actually believe in that nonsense?"

"Not quite," you admit. "But that doesn't mean it can't be fun." You squeeze his hand and give him a reassuring smile.

You turn your attention back to his palm and get to work. Your fingertips follow along the curves and lines of his calloused hand as you search for the silly little meanings behind them. "This line means your lifeline is strong, that was obvious. And this one means your fate is... unshakable." Your bright eyes glance up at his gloomy ones, then you sigh with feigned disappointment. "Though... that's odd."

Sukuna's brow raises and his eyes narrow in on you. "What is?"

You snicker a little to yourself. "I don't see any."

His expression remains confused. "Any what?"

A soft smile paints your face as you look straight into his eyes. "Monster lines. Not a single one."

Sukuna's hand twitched in your grasp and his eyes which were once confused were now completely unreadable. You can see flickers of his arrogance debating scoffing at you, but in the end, he just lowers his head more at your ridiculousness.

"You say such foolish things, you know that?" He chuckles a little under his breath. Your smile doesn't falter, it only grows as you lift up his hand to kiss his knuckles gently.

"The only fools are the ones who can't see what I see." Your voice is sweet and full of conviction as you stare at him with loving eyes. For a moment, Sukuna just watches you, almost like he's trying to understand what it is you really see.

"Is that so?" He asks teasingly. His mood seems lighter now as he continues to look at you with amusement.

You smile widely with a half laugh as you reassure him. "Yeah, I know so."

His grip tightens and his fingers curl around yours. He doesn't say anything else as you two lay down for some much-needed sleep. And as Sukuna pulls you close and holds you tightly, you swear you see him smile, even if just for a moment.

[daistea]

(Def not King lurkin into your asks)

Saw that you take requests,,, 👀

What's your thoughts on a sexual relationship with Mithrun? I always get a little stumped with those requests, and you're just *chefs kiss* when it comes to your characterization of him

CRIES HELLO THANK U ILY

ummm tw: spoilers maybe? and nsfw

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Pre-Demon

Mithrun is a total slut, sorry.

That's not a bad thing, obviously, it's just what he is. I mean, he doesn't admit or acknowledge it. He has a very difficult time accepting his preferences. He's just a slut in denial.

That's all.

Pre-Ending, Post-Trauma

Mithrun hasn't had a real boner in forty years, sorry.

He has no interest in being intimate with anyone. He's really casual about the subject, though, because the Canaries--- sans Pattadol--- are pretty honest and open with each other. Shameless.

Fleki thinks he needs to get laid, but she doesn't care enough to push the subject.

Mithrun isn't emotionless, though. He's just preoccupied. His sex drive is extremely low at this point. However, he's observant enough about others to notice how you feel.

He'll have sex just for the sake of having it. He's kinda forgotten how it feels. And he still has pleasure receptors and nerves and all that nonsense. He can still physically react. You just have to do some work. He's not going to be super enthusiastic, but still consenting ofc

Mithrun is a total pillow princess at this point.

It's a bit calming, actually. Kind of therapeutic.

He's relatively quiet, but sometimes he can't help but exhale shakily, or groan. His touches are light. He's not very passionate. But sometimes he looks at you with these slightly dark expressions, as if he's considering something more. Something you don't quite understand.

Post-Canon

It starts out slowly. Mithrun doesn't immediately regain a sex drive. It needs cultivating.

The first time is really important. Depending on who you are and what you're like, it could range from soft and explorative, to rough and frantic.

Mithrun is a switch. I see a lot of depictions of him as a bottom, and I see that point of view, I really do. But I genuinely believe he'd work both roles. He would like to be dominant sometimes. Other times, he just wants to sit back and let the new feelings take over.

He likes being called a good boy.

He doesn't really enjoy the fact that he likes being called that. It's demeaning and it kind of makes him a little irritated, but holy crap does it set him on fire. 'Good boy' should only be invoked in the most passionate or rough of moments.

Mithrun can be rough when he feels like it. He can push you against a wall with the intent to make you forget your own name. He can leave bruises with how tightly he digs his fingers in. He bites, as always, but harder.

Speaking of biting, he'll usually bite your shoulder to keep himself from making much noise.

Mithrun wants to consume you entirely. He wants every inch of you. Your focus should be on him and him only. He likes hearing his name from your lips. Over and over. And he will often ask you who you belong to. He sounds calm in those moments, though, level-headed and scratchy as always, but there's a hint of expectance between his words.

He'll say it back, too, but in a very casual way, as if he doesn't quite understand why you want him to say that. Of course he's yours. Does it need to be acknowledged?

He has no shame, either. Anywhere, any time, if he wants it then he'll initiate it. He only pulls you into private alleys or closets because he knows that's what you prefer.

When you take charge, he enjoys that too. He likes looking up at you, taking in the view, letting his hands wander.

Whether he's top or bottom really depends on his mood.

If he's feeling especially jealous or possessive, he leaves a lot of marks.

He likes praise. He doesn't really give it back, though.

He's not very talkative during the deed, but if you talk often he'll just end up clamping a hand over your mouth.

He enjoys wrapping his fingers around your neck. He doesn't really like that in return, though.

No mirror sex.

He really likes oral. He can be a little selfish with it, actually.

Mithrun isn't a sadist LOL but he does like to tie you up sometimes and leave you hanging. It also depends on how you are as a person and what your dynamic is like.

If he's not in a dominant mood, he's a pillow princess again. Those are the days when he's not feeling as much, when he's not as locked in to his desires. Or, when he's just mentally or physically tired.

No matter what mood, he still needs a lot of care and affection. He needs every ounce of your focus.

He doesn't provide much aftercare. You're the one doing that, no matter who topped. But he eventually learns a bit and starts kinda reciprocating out of sheer habit, because he knows it would make you happy.

As I always say, Mithrun stares a lot. His gaze follows you everywhere, and he'll never get tired of the sight of your body.

He sorta passes out afterwards. It's one of the rare times when he doesn't need a sleep spell. He often will just pass out on top of you.

In general, he's a switch and how he acts is highly dependent on his mood for the day. He needs a lot of attention and affection, and likes to mark you up. He lacks shame, he'll initiate it anywhere. He's relatively quiet, but breathy. Sometimes, he touches you like you're porcelain about to crack. Other times, he manhandles you like a rag doll and does whatever he pleases. If you're able to, manhandle him in return, he'll probably get a little pissy with you but it's still funny.

:0 !

★・・・・・・★

[anyaa2s]

Tangled Hearts ― ༘ ⋆ soulmate!matt

in which ⟢ you wanted to spend more time with Matt, show him that you care, and even in the simplest of tasks, you two seem to be in sync.

featuring ⟢ soulmate!matt & blueberry muffin!reader. meet them here.

content ⟢ fluff, sparkle of miscommunication angst, slow burn, shy and unspoken feelings, matt + crochet like in this post hehe.

"It's been, uh— raining a lot these past days, right?" he questions it awkwardly, glancing up from the puppy near him as he searches for your reaction, only to find you lost in your own sphere, too focused to notice his aimless chatter.

Moments like this have become quite common since Matt started volunteering. Just the two of you, sitting together in silence as you crochet, keeping your attention to yourself.

He's streched out on the floor as he carresses Waldo, a rescued puppy, while stealing glances at you every now and then. The soft rustling of paws around the room and the gentle thump of raindrops by the window added to the calm ambiance of the animal shelter he became so familiar to.

Everything is so peaceful, gentle, he almost resents speaking, fearing his small talk might have disturbed the intimate atmosphere between you.

You're sat across from him on the floor, legs crossed, fingers moving skillfully with the crochet hook. The star pillow cover you've been making for some days slowly takes shape by each measured stitch, your eyes never faltering from the colorful threads in your hands.

He just stays there, leaning against the wall, captivated by you. The way your brows frown in concentration, the shadow of raindrops on the window casting over your soft features, a couple of your hair waves framing your face while you loop the yarn in a steady rhythm.

It's a quiet moment, delicate even, and Matt simply watches you — as he always does.

A sudden squeak draws his attention downward, his eyes wandering to Waldo playing at his feet, trying to catch his shoelaces with its yips and growls. He giggles, gently picking up the tiny dog and cradling it on his lap. The puppy wriggles on his jeans excitedly, Matt's heart melting at the scene.

His chuckles fill the room, drifting your focus away from the yarn to the adorable sight before you — Matt tenderly ruffling Waldo's belly, its tail wagging with pure joy.

Your smile forms naturally at that, only to soften with guilt as you realize for how long you've zoned out.

"I, uh— m'sorry, Matt. What were you saying again?" you ask softly, fiddling with a loose thread on your lap, uncertainty flickering behind your eyes.

He blinks up at you, and you search his face for any signs of frustation, but all you find was a small, understanding smile. It's sweet — sweet as he always is.

"It was just nonsense," he assures you gently, shrugging. "Don't worry 'bout it."

The hook and yarn stood still on your lap, a cat approaching it with curiosity as you chew the inside of your cheek, thinking. A pang of guilt washes over you for not acknowledging him sooner, for being too distracted to even hear a word of what he said.

You hadn't meant to ignore him, naturally. You were just lost in thought while crocheting — but it still makes you feel bad.

Because it's Matt.

"Sorry for not listening to you," you murmur, too hesitant to say anything louder, watching as he keeps his attention on the puppy, absently stroking its fur.

Matt's expression relaxes at your words, embarrassment covering his ears. "It's okay, I just— just didn't want to interrupt you, I guess," he says, voice low. "Don't wanna bother you when you're doin' your thing."

You remain quiet, mind racing. It's not even that big of a deal, his usual calm self showing how trivial the situation is to him. But at the same time, it isn't. Despite Matt's tranquil demeanor, you just can't shake off the discomfort sitting on your chest.

You don't want Matt to think that his presence bothers you somehow, that you didn't listen to him because you don't care — because of course you care, more than he could ever know. You'd just get caught up in your own thoughts a bit too frequently.

You watch how his eyes gleam with joy as he holds Waldo against his chest, talking to the dog in a silly voice. His expression light, unbothered. The soothing sounds of rain and animals playing around created a cozy backdrop to the moment. It's something so little, but so incredibly heartwarming.

It hasn't been long since he first started volunteering, but his calm, gentle nature quickly became a comforting presence by your side in daily tasks. Yet, more often than not, shyness gets the better of both of you, leaving your interactions rather brief and a bit awkward.

You are usually hung between shy smiles and darting glances — which isn't that bad, given that you can observe his smile in silent admiration, and how cute he looks giggling as the puppy snuggles further into his arms.

But it still isn't enough.

You yearned to understand him better, to actually listen when he talked instead of merely being physically present and too lost in your own mind to do so.

You wanted to show him that you care.

As days went by, you'd grasp at any opportunity to spend time with him. You'd linger at the reception when he arrived, offered to help with bathing the pets, and even faced boring adoption paperwork together — any excuse you could find to strike up a conversation.

With a sheepish smile, you'd find yourself initiating a casual chatter, letting mindless words fall from your lips while ignoring your tendency to overthink every sentence you let out. Simply to hear his voice. To actually hear it.

At first, he seemed a bit anxious, fidgeting with his rings as he responded to your nervous, random questions — his favorite season or how he liked his coffee. His awkwardness around you would've been endearing if it wasn't for your own timidity in his presence.

It was almost funny how you'd both stammer over simple words, only to smile at each other when you realized you both liked the same movie or preferred rainy days over sunny ones.

Before you knew it, the typical silence between you evolved to engaged conversations, revealing little things about Matt you never known before. He opened up about his brothers' antics, shared opinions on a recent read, and his absolute hatred for ketchup. You shared more about yourself, too — your aspirations, fears, and a goofy taste for cat videos that always brought a warm, adorable grin to his face.

The progress was slow, patient, as it had to be with both of you. Yet, as your bond developed, it felt just right — so natural, that being in each other's company, laughing together, smiling until your cheeks hurt became the sweetest parts of your days.

Once, while helping him care for a bunny's scab — cleaning, applying ointment, and bandaging — you two fell into an easy conversation about favorite animated films, reminiscing your childhood, both of you getting lost in memories.

As you brought up Lady and the Tramp as your top Disney pick, Matt's face scrunched up in a playful scowl. "Oh, c'mon, that movie is not even that good, it's just cute. Now Winnie the Pooh is timeless!" he stated, and you gape at him, a faux offense at his mockery.

"It's only the best romance ever scripted and with puppies?! It's a classic!" you argued, and he shook his head, grining.

"I'd trade their spaghetti for Pooh's honey any day of the week. Have you seen how good it looks?!" he questioned it, continuing his cares on the bunny as you crossed your arms, chuckling at how enthusiastically he defended his pick.

He then had mentioned his special love for Eeyore, explaining how he related to the character since little. The tender smile playing on his lips as he recounted a specific episode was really endearing, making you rethink your opinion about the bear's movies.

But more than that, his passion about the character sparked an idea in you — to put all that care he had for Eeyore into something truly special to him. To crochet him something meaninful.

Ever since that idea popped into your mind, you began to work on the plushie whenever you had a spare moment — at home, during your breaks at the shelter, and even in the quiet moments before bed. You had your crochet hook in hand everywhere.

You were precise with every stitch and chain you made, working meticulously since you wanted it to be perfect. Although your attention to detail was a little unwelcoming, leading you to start over multiple times, the biggest challenge was hiding your project from curious eyes — both animal and human.

The first close call came during your break, when you had just started the plushie. The colorful threads had a fluffy texture, similar to a felt, and the kitten curled up beside you on the couch seemed to agree, purring contently as it nuzzled against the skien of yarn.

In a second of distraction, you looked away, lost in thoughts as usual, and the cat snatched the yarn ball from you. The kitten began batting it around the room like a toy, unraveling half of your carefully crocheted work and leaving you with a tangled mess of strands and knots.

After that, you became a bit more cautious around possible yarn thieves.

You also did your best trying to hide it from Matt, working on it only when he wasn't around or too busy to notice anything. But since your shifts overlapped — him making sure of that when he volunteered — you had to be sneaking around.

Another time, in between treating pets and helping potential adopters, you found yourself crocheting at the reception — a place where you had more control over crochet threats with paws.

You sat by the front counter, focused on the smooth flow of the stitches only. Hummimg to a random song, you were oblivious to your surroundings, until a sudden appearance beside you snapped you out of your trance.

Your eyes widened as you spotted Matt's figure, and you hastily hid the half-done project in the counter drawer, turning your head to check if he had caught a glimpse of anything.

To your relief, he was too busy wrestling with leashes to notice your hiding action, trying to stop Waldo and other puppies from dragging him outside for a walk as an amused smile replaced your worried expression.

A shy smile tugged on his lips when he met your gaze upon him, until the anxious dogs pulled him toward the door, his stumbling breaking your eye contact as it eclict a laughter from you. "Oh my— guys, wait up!" he chuckled breathlessly, nearly loosing his footing as Carlos, the big dog in the lead, pulled the leash eagerly.

Cute.

"Need any help?" you suggested, smiling as his cheeks flushed.

"Don't worry, I– woah! I think I got it!" he stuttered, struggling to hold onto the leash as the dogs darted through the narrow opening at the front door. You chuckled as he left, amused by his clumsy yet endearing attempts to get used to the shelter's daily struggles.

You were thankful he hadn't seen the unfinished gift — and thankful the dogs hadn't caused him to trip — but the encounter also made you more cautious around Matt. Although you loved being in his presence, you had to be careful if you wanted it to be a surprise — one you truly hoped he would like.

The sound of Matt's voice at the end of the corridor is faint, his words coming to shape by every anxious step you take towards him. You feel both nervous and excited, trying to hide your grin as you tightly clutch a package in your hand — the plushie you've been crafting so attentively to him finally finished.

Your heart was still pounding from a last-minute sprint to the crafts store and to the coffee shop down the street — a mid-shift 'caffeine emergency' being the excuse you gave to Matt to buy a wrapping paper for the gift. So, of course you couldn't return to work empty-handed.

Regardless of the coffee pretext you invented, you wanted to give him the now wrapped plushie right away, so the excuse wasn't really that necessary. The truth was, the cover up was more for your own sake than his. Although you wouldn't admit it out loud, your nerves were getting the better of you, and you just needed a quick sip to loosen up a bit.

You attempt to balance the cardboard holder in one hand while the other is busy with the package, obligating you to tilt your body in a weird angle to twist the door handle with your elbow — which turns out to be a bit of a fumble, to say the least.

Being careful not to spill anything, you push the door open, and as the gap widens, Matt's words become clearer. "I'll get you more water, guys, just gimme' a sec'," he says, and you squint in confusion. Peering through the opening, you see who he was referring to as 'guys' — a small group of cats around the room, looking expectedly as he grabs their empty bowl.

You feel your heart melt at the tiny meows the kittens let back to him — of course he's chatting with animals and being responded by them. Matt's really just too damn cute for you to handle.

"Oh, hi! Didn't see you coming," he smiles as he sees you by the doorstep.

"Hi, Matt," you give him a light smile back, trying to keep your anticipation hidden.

"So, the caffeine need was that serious?" he asks with a grin, noticing the double cups of coffee on the stand in your hand.

"Well, yes, but one's yours. Got you a capuccino," you reply, and he blinks, his face softening.

"Thank you, you didn't have to," he says genuinely, taking the holder from you and grabbing one of the steaming cups. He savours a sip of the sugary drink before placing both cups on the counter behind you, beginning to fill the bowl on the sink.

"I, uh— its nothing," you murmur, watching as he bends down to place the bowl to the kittens, and you bite your lips in nervousness, feeling your heart beating faster. Okay, maybe drinking coffee to relax hasn't been the best idea for the moment. "I actually, um— have something else. For you."

His attention differs from the meowing cats at your words, his eyes locking in yours as he senses the hesitancy in your tone. The bowl sits forgotten on the ground as the kittens drink eagerly, him getting up to meet you with a smirk.

"Is it a sweet treat to acompany my coffee, maybe?" he asks playfully, and a breathy chuckle escapes you, bringing a gentle smile to his face.

"No, that's in my bag," you reply simply, and its his time to chuckle, by how well you predicted him — knowing how he had the biggest sweet tooth ever.

He then senses a shift in your expression, your grin being replaced by pursing lips, and his mind wanders to what could you possibly be anxious about. His gaze drops down, noticing your hand behind your back, and you can see the confusion flicker through his eyes.

Without the need for words — more for without the ability to form coherent ones under his gaze — you simply extand the package in his direction, and you swear you can hear your heartbeat as Matt frowns, uncertain.

He looks up at you for silent confirmation, his fingers brushing hesitantly over yours as he finally takes the white package from you. The wrapped-something feels fluffy under his touch, and his confusion grows — but when he finds a sticker that reads 'Although Lady and the Tramp is still better...', he finds himself smiling. His eyes find yours again, amused but curiously, and your soft smile encourages him to continue to unwrap the gift.

You can't help but feel your nerves spiking as a blue blur appears on Matt's hands, his eyes widening in surprise as he takes in the sight.

"Did you make this?" he asks slowly after some seconds, his eyes glued on the Eeyore plushie in his grasp as you attempt to read through his expression.

"Mhm," you whisper, your voice barely audible, watching him trace the crochet knots gently, appreciating the softness of your work.

He feels himself stuck on the spot, the idea that you made this for him taking a while to sink in — but when it does, he feels his chest swell with pure warmth. His gaze lingers on the crochet work, mesmerized by every little detail. The balance of the lilac and blue yarn, the precision of every stitch and chain, the softness of the threads — all that to form the cutest Eeyore he has ever seen.

It's so delicate, so thoughtful.

And you made that yourself. You saw him. Put your time, energy, talent in it — for him.

For a moment, he's speechless, his eyes gleaming with pure joy, but as he notices the meticulously of the plushie, how perfect it is, his smile falters, and your heart skips a beat.

A mix of embarrassment and something else flickers in his eyes, still focused on the gift, and you feel your anxiety growing by each passing second, your mind racing with possible reasons for his silence. He looks upset at the gift. Upset. Why would he look upset?

You start biting your nails without realizing it, watching as he finally meets your gaze, his expression filled with affection and vulnerability at the same time.

"It's perfect," he breathes, his low tone doing little to ease your nervousness. "I— I love it, really. Thank you, I just, well, uh—" he trails off with a deep sigh, his words getting caught in his throat as he can't even process his own thoughts fully.

With a quiet frustation, he turns toward the counter and begins to rummage through a random drawer, and the silence between you makes you even more uneasy. You're about to ask if he there's anything wrong with it, if he didn't like it, maybe even give a random excuse to leave the room and just drown in overthinking about his weird reaction, when his actions stop and you frown in confusion at what he pulls out.

He approaches you with a tight lip smile, flustered, your lips parting slightly in surprise as you see it, now clearer — a crocheted blueberry on his palm.

You take a step closer, speechless, and reach the plushie with your fingertips. You feel the texture of the yarn in your hand, a soft smile tugging at your lips as you notice the half crooked smile of the fruit, the bead eyes a bit uneven, making it look even cuter. Your eyes wander up, an intrigued but stunned grin in your face as he blushes by your proximity.

"I, uh— I know it's not even half as good as yours, but..." he murmurs, scratching his neck awkwardly, too reluctant to say more. He seeks your gaze as if he could read your mind through it — which wasn't even necessary, once your expression told him everything he had to know. You looked enthralled.

"You crocheted this?" you ask, trying to keep your tone neutral, but the mere thought is so heartwarming you can't hide the affection in your voice.

Matt nods sheepishly, "I tried to, but it turned out a bit harder than I expected. I'm even embarrassed to give you this awful blueberry after— well, this..." he let's a pitiful chuckle out, glancing at the Eeyore in his hand and then at the blueberry in yours. The difference between the plushies was truly humbling in his mind.

"It's lovely, Matt," you say sincerely, admiring the plushie. "When did you learn it?" you ask, completely enchanted by the thought of him learning your favorite hobby. Learning it and making something special for you with it.

"Learn is a strong word, but, I don't know... I just always see you so absorbed in it, 'jus tried it, some time ago," he admits. "I also didn't want to interrupt you when you're crocheting, so... I guess accompanying you in it would be better," he adds hesitantly, and the smile you give him is soft, warm. He's too precious.

"I told you, you never interrupt me."

"I know, but still..." he shruggs. "Just wanted to do something with you besides volunteering and all that. Not just stay around in silence as you do your thing."

You see the sincerity in his eyes, the way he wanted more than just the quietness of your company. It feels good to know he feels the same way.

"I probably should've asked you for some help before trying it, actually. Might as well pretend this thing never existed and start over," he says with a breathy laugh, looking at the blueberry and than at you.

"Nah, you won't get this away from me," you tease, holding your plushie closer, and he smiles. "And just so you know, your silence or words never bother me. I love being around you no matter what," you let out mindlessly, a faint blush covering his cheeks once the weight of your words settle in, and you attempt on hiding your own flustering.

"But, um— if you really want to practice your crochet skills some time, I could teach you a couple of things."

"Am I in a tough start position?" he asks, chuckling, mocking his own effort.

"You're not, seriously. And it'll be fun, you know— doing something outside of here, besides volunteering and all that," you echo his words playfully, and he smiles sheepishly at the thought of spending time with you outside of the shelter — of you wanting to spend time with him like that.

"Just keep an eye on the pets if you're going to crochet here, 'cause Alfonso already spotted your plushie," you say with a grin. Matt follows your gaze, his eyes landing on the kitten by his foot that stares intently at the crocheted Eeyore hanging from his fingers.

"While I was doing the blueberry, one of them actually stole my yarn ball and I had to restart the whole thing," Matt laughs, looking back at you, and your face lights up in surprise.

"No way! That exact thing happened to me!" you exclaim, and you both chuckle, the previous tension you both felt being melted by now.

As the laughter fades, you exchange a warm smile, and that familiar, comfortable feeling settles in your chest. The possibility of spending more time together hangs in the air like a sweet promise, and you feel excited to share something you love with him. Although you enjoy crocheting in silence — a preference Matt knows very well — you wouldn't mind having your attention diverted from your hook and yarn if it's about him — his stumbled words and random stories too endearing not to.

"First, the crochet plushie, then a cat trying to ruin our work. I guess we're more similar than we think, huh?" you say jokingly, but actually thinnking about it, and Matt's eyes crinkle at the corners.

His gaze upon you feels as gentle as always, but this time, with a sparkle of something else — an unspoken understanding that stirs deep within your heart. "Yeah, I guess so."

🪧 taglist: @shadowthesim237 @chrepsi @courta13 @blushsturns @marrykisskilled @bernardsbendystraws

english is not my first language !

nya's notes: happy end of sturniolo weekend! took me too damn long to finish this omg

[asce-of-hearts]

Hey there! I was wondering if you could do "🐵 would you let me cut my name into your soft skin?" for Jing Yuan please!!!!

Territorial

contents: Yandere!Jing Yuan with prompt: 🐵 (gn!reader)

more Jing Yuan content here

TAG LIST

PROMPT LIST

WARNINGS: YANDERE, MANIPULATION, ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, SORT OF OOC IDK, JEALOUSY, READER IS KIND OF AN ASS, NOT PROOFREAD.

"Sometimes I think you don't respect me." He says with tired eyes, as if he's about to fall asleep.

"And that's because?"

"Because... you do these things, that I've told you upset me, yet you can't seem to cater to my needs just for once."

"That's because, general. Your needs include me staying by your side all the time and not talking to any other human being that isn't you. I think those, ah "demands" are fairly unreasonable." You lash out at him, speaking through gritted teeth.

He could roll his eyes in this moment.

"You're twisting my words," He hums again, seemingly uninterested. "The only thing I asked from you, ___. Is to stop batting your pretty little lashes at every man you encounter every time you want something." His gaze drifts up to you, quickly, sharp. "I do not want to be in the need to mark my territory like some kind of wild animal."

"Maybe I do that because I want you to mark your territory." You answer with a humorless chuckle.

"Mmm-hmm, whatever you say." He stands up, pushing his chair out of the way with a little more strength than he would've liked to. "If you excuse me, this conversation is boring me quite a lot, and I've got better things to do than deal with your... strange ways of toying with me."

You both sigh once you are out of each others sight.

He tosses and turns in bed, unable to sleep even when his eyes hurt and his lids feel heavier and heavier. He stares at the ceiling, the image of you evoking both anger and sadness into his mind.

Why can't you just behave?

The next couple of days are awkward, you don't cross that many words. Only polite greetings, nods of acknowledgement as a response to waves of a hand.

The third day, you're inside his bedroom. His large hands over your figure, he's so tall, you wonder just how is he able to fit through doors without hitting himself in the head most of the time. The thought is amusing enough to make you smile as he peppers kisses all over your neck.

"You're making me loose it, ___." He whispers, his tongue traveling from the nape of your neck to your jaw. "I want to... pin you down on the bed and fuck you until all you can do is think of me." He groans, hiding his face in your chest, his voice muffled as he speaks. He's always so blunt, not worrying about embarrassing words or lewd comments, you fluster at this. "I only restrain myself because I can't stand it when you nag me about bruises and hip pain."

"It wasn't my intention to bother you, general."

"I know," His eyes fix on yours again, half lidded. He traces the curve of your back, his fingers digging into the soft skin. "But maybe bruising you and leaving bite marks all over you is the only way to mark my territory over you, at least enough for you to behave." He smirks. "You're quite pliant once you get a good fuck from my behalf."

"Shut up," You push him away, covering your face with your hands. "I don't want to have to wear turtlenecks all year just because you're jealous."

"Then I guess there's another solution." You look at him through your fingers, his sword is laying next to him, he traces the blade with his calloused fingers. "Would you let me cut my name into your soft skin?"

Your eyes widen, and you try to take a step back. You shake your head in disagreement once your back hits the cold wall.

"No, what?" You ask in disbelief. His expression darkens, he gives out a tired smile.

"I just think there's no other way for you to love me."

hope you enjoyed this

have a great day/night

TAGGING: @goldenglow149 @voidthewriting @rania200527 @kitzusune @lakxcpsta

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[crushoncaleb]

Be my valentine

Rafayel x reader

Fluff

1.4k words

You try to ask Rafayel to be your valentine. The keyword is try.

A/N. First time I have written something for a holiday or event and actually managed to post it in time! Basically, I couldn't sleep, and Rafayel possessed me. Hope y'all enjoy!

My masterlist

Is this...rejection?

You'd spent some time planning it, even bribed Thomas to get Rafayel the day off. But when you and Rafayel arrived at your usual spot at the beach. He didn't seem to take note of the seagulls at all.

The seagulls you had somehow managed to train into landing in the right order so the letters you stuck to them would ask him to be your valentine. Now, you'd be the first to admit, the whole plan was a little crazy, but with your and Rafayel's history and connection to the seagulls choir, you'd thought it would be cute.

If it had been any more subtle, you might've believed he genuinely missed it. But it's quite hard to believe someone like Rafayel would not see the literal seagull choir the two of you were here to visit. So naturally, you had to assume he was letting you down easy.

Even being let down easy hurt. It completely blindsided you. You were absolutely certain something had been brewing between you and the artist. Hell, last time you'd spent time with him after wearing new perfume, he'd spent about an hour shoving his face against you to breathe you in. You were SO certain that crossed the line of platonic.

You start questioning if perhaps you'd been reading social interactions wrong your entire life, as next to you, Rafayel starts getting antsy.

"Cutie, as much as the sky is beautiful today and I would love to spend time staring at it with you, we should go get lunch now. Thomas' endless texting has tired me out, and I'm huungry. " He speaks, his tone light and whiney as always, and for a second, you consider him world's greatest actor.

You decide that what you felt for Rafayel combined with the effort you'd put into this plan was worth the risk of heartbreak, so in a final effort to get him to acknowledge you, you speak up.

"Don't you want to see your trusty choir first? They're right there behind you. I'm sure they've missed their conductor." You're not sure if you manage to keep your tone quite as light and playful as intended, desperation tinging the edges of your words, but you've spoken them, now he HAS to respond.

A pause, anticipation clogs your veins, and you practically feel your blood pressure rising. "...there's a boat ride with a buffet that might be nice today, since the weather is so nice and all."

Your eyebrows raise, the casual tone of his voice so steady that you almost start questioning if you even did bring it up at all. But the quick look he takes at you and the way he turns away tells you he is definitely doing this on purpose.

It was truly rejection then, your stomach twists and a buffet and a boat ride with Rafayel suddenly sound daunting. You could get over rejection, but maybe not within 10 minutes.

"Hmm, that sounds nice but I'm actually starting to feel a little off," you muse on your excuse "I think I might head home a little earlier than planned today, Rafayel, rain check?"

He turns to face you now, slowly. Eyes wide and brows furrowed, expression reminiscent of that time you gave him a single apple when he checked himself into the hospital. A mix between shock, offense, and a silent command to change your mind.

He grabs your wrist and starts pulling you along. His expression changes in a heartbeat, and it's like you never said anything.

"They apparently have like a super long waiting list, but I got in pretty easily. Guess being well known does have its perks after all, huh?" He keeps talking in that same casual tone of his, which is starting to frustrate you to no end.

"Rafayel, I get that a rain check for the boat might not be easy if it's like that, but I really need to go home." You plead, trying to pull yourself out of his grip but he just turns to you, gives you that same expression that you're convinced only Rafayel can make properly, and then keeps going like you never opened your mouth.

You're baffled at his behavior, and by the time you recover, the two of you are making your way onto the boat.

"Now, I'm going to need you to stop looking so surprised, cutie." He reaches out to gently smooth his fingers over the muscles of your brows, which you will admit are a little tense from how you've had them raised the entire way here. "I need you looking as cute as you always do for the pictures we're gonna take here."

It was one thing to completely ignore what was practically a confession, another to blatantly ignore your request to go home, but the audacity to tell you to not be surprised at his antics? That was too far.

He tries to pull you along again, but you hold steady. He shoots you a questioning look. As if you're the one acting out of the ordinary.

"Rafayel, I want to go home," and you're proud of yourself for standing on business, convinced there is no way for him to just ignore that. In your defense, he doesn't.

Instead, he huffs, his gorgeous features taking on that oh so familiar, annoyed expression. His response is a short "no, you don't" before he takes a step closer to you, only to link your arms and pull you along with the new leverage that gives him.

Then, before you know it, you're standing at the front of the boat as it slides through the water. With no way home except a very prolonged dive.

Rafayel entertains you, and the entire situation had been confusing enough to distract you from his blatant rejection, but now that his weird behavior seems to be settling, reality starts creeping in. You're stuck with him now, so you'll have to keep yourself together until you manage to get off this boat. How vexing.

His first cough doesn't shake you out of the deep thoughts you're in and neither does the second so, Rafayel resorts to nudging you with his elbow when a red fish surfaces with a bottle in its mouth.

You look at him, but he pointedly looks away, like he didn't just practically poke your ribs out. When you lean towards the railing, the fish jumps, and the bottle flies towards you.

You're not actually in the mood to catch it, but your hunter instincts kick in, and in the blink of an eye, the intricate glass bottle is in your hands. You can see a note neatly curled up and tied with a bow, resting inside it.

"Wow, cutie, those are some reflexes." Rafayel feigns being impressed and then presses on. "You should open it. You won the bottle's secrets fair and square once you saved its life."

You narrow your eyes at him. This could not possibly have been more obviously set up by him. Though you will say, his sheer determination to have things go his way is admirable.

You comply, already knowing the only other option was to face his huffing and puffing before then having to comply after all.

The cork takes more effort to open than you'd like, and Rafayel smiles fondly at the slight flush that rises on your face in result. Once you unroll the note, though, your eyes widen.

There, in Rafayel's eclectic handwriting are the very words you'd strung up on your seagulls.

A beat passes, and Rafayel looks at you expectantly. A cute expression on his face, and for a second, you are torn between accepting just to keep him looking like that and raining down righteous retribution on him.

You decide you'd do both. "Rafayel, of course I'll be your valentine, but did you really ha-" his lips halt yours before you could complain at all and you feel said complaints melting away.

The kiss is sweet, Rafayel brings you into his arms as he starts to deepen it, you'd always suspected he'd be a needy kisser, but he pulls away before he gets carried away.

"Sorry, cutie. Couldn't have you interfering with my plans though, you have no idea how long I've waited to make this move." His voice sounds breathy, and his eyes don't leave your lips. His words are so sweet you could almost ignore how he's pretending this was your fault. Almost.

Yet, you'll let it slide. Because as he leans in for another kiss, you just can't find it in yourself to be upset with him.

[bangtanintotheroom]

The Look (M)(Teaser)

You gon' give me that look, look, look, look-look

You don't have to tell me that it's mine

When you give me that look, look, look, look-look

You said everything with just your eyes

🔊 the look - ali gatie, kehlani (spotify | soundcloud) 🔊

• Pairing: Seonghwa x (F)Reader

• Genre: Non-Idol!AU, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Fluff, Smut

• Rating: 18+

• Words (teaser): 399

• Summary: You’ve been perfectly normal since sleeping with Seonghwa that one night. You haven’t been thinking about him more than necessary. And you definitely haven’t been fighting the urge to voice these dangerous thoughts inside your head. You were perfectly fine…

• Warnings/themes: pining, acknowledging feelings, a very necessary discussion, drinking, swearing, jealousy, crying, OC is struggling, Hwa is just… 🫠💕, making out, grinding, oral (m. and f. receiving), face-fucking, c*me swallowing, face-sitting, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, praise, body worship, unprotected sex, creampie, multiple positions, cuddleeeees, aftercare

• Notes: C'mon guys; did you really think I was gonna just leave these two alone after what went down in part 1? 😏 let's see how this plays out now...

• Teaser Notes: Teasers are a WIP and will not fully reflect the final draft, warnings and themes are subject to change. If you want to be tagged when the final draft is released, either leave a reply or shoot me an ask! PLEASE HAVE YOUR AGE PRESENT IN YOUR BIO OR YOU WILL NOT BE TAGGED.

• Taglist: @minttangerines @minisugakoobies @kiestrokes @chans-room @hyunjinsjeans

Make Me Water | The Look

You couldn’t step outside any sooner.

As soon as the glass door behind you slid closed and muffled the music and voices inside, you took a large gulp of air.

When you entered the party over two hours ago, you didn’t expect to be feeling like your emotions had been going through the wringer.

Jongho sent a group text out late last week, asking if everyone was up for a get-together Saturday night. The catch was that he planned to invite more than usual, a mix of familiar faces and strangers. No one objected, looking forward to the break from the usual small gatherings.

You took a rideshare with Sakura to Jongho’s place, Ningning already there since early that morning. This info only fueled you and your friend’s speculation on the drive, wondering whether there was something going on between the two.

Just as you pulled up outside, you spotted a familiar car parked ahead. One that opened its doors and revealed just who was occupying it. But it wasn’t all of the four men stepping out that nearly made you stomp on the gas pedal.

No, it was the one coming from the passenger side, clad in a black leather jacket and jeans that emphasized his long, slender legs.

You knew from the jump that Seonghwa was coming to the party, but every time you saw him or even thought of him, your stupid heart flipped in on itself. This had been happening ever since the two of you conducted the ‘experiment’ at his place last month. While the immediate results were successful, what occurred afterwards was not ideal.

Something was wrong. But when did it happen, was what you had been asking yourself.

“Is everything alright?”

You moved your hands so he could hear you.

“No, it’s not.”

You uncovered your face, revealing an expression that projected the troubles that had been plaguing you for the last month. Strong enough to make Seonghwa’s stare diminish.

“I don’t know what to do, Seonghwa. Ever since we…had sex, I feel like something changed.”

“In…in what way?”

The wryest of smiles graced your lips.

“Depends on how you look at it.”

The other bit his bottom lip, looking even more concerned now.

“I…just talk to me, Y/N.”

Something told you that your friend wasn’t quite ready to express himself, so you mustered up every millimeter of courage to begin.

©bangtanintotheroom, 2024. Crossposted to AO3. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.

[hanamukes]

Uika in Ave Mujica episode 4

For episodes 1-3 of the Ave Mujica anime, I felt like while there was definitely stuff going on with Uika that's worth unpacking, the scenes were straightforward enough in what they wished to convey that I didn't feel like they warranted explanation. Episode 4 has completely turned my view of this character on its head though. It feels as if her every word and action in this episode completely contradicts what we knew of her prior. What is going on with her?

I wanted to talk about her in a longform post, so here I am. This is maybe half analysis, half just me rambling my thoughts on what's happening on screen.

DISCLAIMER: If you're not familiar with the way I discuss this character, let me make it clear now that I absolutely love her! This post is essentially a love poem dedicated to how fantastic I think her writing is. That said my tone here might come off a bit sharp, because of how contradictory she is (which I say as a compliment) and how I want to grab her by the scruff and shake her until she tells me what's going on inside that head of hers. Just wanted to mention something before anyone gets the impression I'm criticizing her or the writing when I'm doing nothing of the sort.

Her first moment happens and immediately a lot stands out to me

First: the models in this anime fall under two specifications, girls who always have a blush programmed in and girls who don't. For instance, Sakiko has one so she's always blushing no matter her mood. Uika doesn't. But throughout this entire episode, she does. Why? Why is she so... eerily happy, in a way we have never seen her before?

Secondly, what is her aim here? Sakiko expressed her discomfort with everyone's attitudes, and rather than just being "Sakiko's second voice" as she has been up until now (take the episode 3 fight as an example), she's taking everyone else's side. Her actions are already in total contradiction with the Uika we've seen up until now, who didn't care about anything except easing Sakiko's feelings

Then this happens. Uika is basically in la-la land daydreaming about having her destiny tied to Sakiko's forever (especially because Nyamu points out that sounds like something Sakiko would say), yet she's ignoring her beloved who sits on the other side of the table

Uika, do you really love Mujica as it is when Sakiko's expressing to you directly that she's unhappy?

Ironically, when she does acknowledge Sakiko directly, it only leads to further frustration for Sakiko

Because she's focusing on the wrong thing. She's more worried about Sakiko's exhaustion from writing songs (which is something she can physically see, thus easily pick up on) rather than Sakiko's concerns with the band (which is something she'd have to actually stop to think about). It really feels like she doesn't understand Sakiko at all. How much does she actually stop to think about her feelings? How surface leveled, rose-colored lens does she view her?

Her actions here scream, "well, so long as I get to stay with Sakiko, I don't actually care if she's happy," regardless of if that's her intent. Sometimes your inner feelings aren't enough, Uika. Sakiko is actively looking miserable in front of you and what are you doing about it?

Are you really just going to leave without saying anything to her? You express concern when halfway out the door, yet when face to face with Sakiko, you act like nothing is wrong?

Again, yes, Sakiko is exhausted, but that's not all there is to it Uika. And she hasn't exactly been subtle about what she's worried about!

Mortis keeps the focus of the conversation to Sakiko having to write all the scripts (thus prompting Uika to point out that she's been pulling all-nighters and maybe that's the problem), but I quite like this line, as there's a lot to unpack here

前はそういうの絶対見せなかったのに

The translation gets the idea across fine to be clear, but in Japanese, there's an emphasis on the "never" part. It feels unthinkable to Uika that Sakiko would perhaps lash out, or show her exhaustion to the others. Kind of putting a mental pin in this because that's not the impression we, the viewers, have seen from prior episodes (Sakiko in this episode was acting incredibly in line with what we've seen of her already in this anime), so I wonder where Uika got this idea from. It makes you wonder just what Uika's impression of "normal" or "prior" Sakiko is

This line is genuinely sweet of her, if not a bit ironic because Uika's already absolutely overworking herself for Sakiko, which Sakiko pointed out in episode 1 (a lot of the officially published interviews have been pointing this out over and over too, just as a side note). They really want to ease each other's burdens...

Yeah, we're not even being subtle about Uika having to "borrow" ways to cheer people up anymore

I actually noticed this about her even back in It's MyGO. When Uika comforted Tomori in episode 10, it was eerily close to what Sakiko did in episode 3. Tomori even associated Uika's actions as being reminiscent of Sakiko's behavior. I had no evidence about Uika copying what Sakiko did then (I don't... think? know? that Uika saw Sakiko's meeting with Tomori and thus could copy it), but now? There's evidence that perhaps her acts of generosity are in fact just things she's imitating from others. If you're curious about the It's MyGO example of this, I highly recommend watching this for yourself

Oh, I'll also mention that in my pre-anime analysis post for Uika, I mentioned she probably doesn't "shine" at all as an idol without Mana, and she more or less just confirmed that for us

Again there's a lot to unpack with this part

Hoo boy. Let's go back an episode. In episode 3, Uika was feeling insecure about the fact Sakiko "knew" Mutsumi "very well since they were kids." She looked visibly bothered by it before changing the topic. So hearing from "Mutsumi" herself that "Actually, you're the one closest to Sakiko, not me" must be making her day. Mortis is actively using Uika's affection for Sakiko against her (well, for the sake of the band, but she's still manipulating (for lack of a better word) her regardless). It's a bit harrowing when you realize that Uika's happy that her "competition" for being close with Sakiko is dead, despite her not realizing Mutsumi more or less is dead at this point...

Moving on to the scene in her apartment, my only addition here is... well, it sure is something how the only things she said to Sakiko were what Mortis told her to say. She has no lines here that weren't just parroting advice. Is that really all you have to say to your beloved?

This is an interesting comment from her

Because there's a couple ways you could interpret this. Is Uika referring to the "stiff" expression, or the close proximity? We know for Sumimi, she views herself as having a "terrible expression" (when Mana's not around to change her energy), but it's also not lost on me that it could also be referring to "my image of Sumimi [where we take photos together in close proximity]"

Sakiko's reaction to this is what makes it so meaningful to me

Nyamu and the photographers are saying "this doesn't look like Mujica at all, but that's a good thing," which Sakiko is obviously displeased about. Why would going against Mujica's worldview be a good thing? And yet... even Uika, who founded the band with her and who writes all their songs, is saying she likes the photo. Once again, Uika is completely disregarding Sakiko's feelings despite how close she is to her. Physically, they're almost close enough to brush shoulders, but emotionally, I don't think Sakiko's ever felt further from her. The betrayal in her face and voice feels so obvious, yet Uika's still in la-la land like she was earlier in the episode and doesn't acknowledge it at all... we really can put ourselves in Sakiko's shoes throughout the whole episode, because truly, what is going through Uika's head?

Uika doing sweet gestures for Sakiko. This is the character I recognize!

It's not lost on me that 1. she has two umbrellas like she does in her apartment, and 2. there's this almost eerie focus on Uika making coffee for people. I say this because the opening itself has a shot of her mugs, there's that weirdly placed clip of coffee dripping in episode 2 (it's also in one of the trailers), the donut scene in episode 3, and now this. I'll be interested in seeing why this is so important to her

I do wish we had gotten to see the conversation Uika and Sakiko had here. Sakiko has a habit of brushing Uika off, but she was finally able to open up to her about something. They finally talked together amidst all of this miscommunication and not understanding one another, but we didn't get to see it... (which may be a sign they didn't really talk about much, but hey, I like my Uisaki crumbs where I can get them)

Thank you for the confirmation that Uika would be the first victim in a slasher film. Moving on

I love the way this comment is framed. If Sakiko left the band, who would be most hurt? Sakiko or Uika?

Uh oh. She's having her words used against her

What she said in episode 3 was honestly a bit careless* (she said it in front of Sakiko, who famously broke up Crychic by leaving it)... but she did have a point. She just wanted to articulate that Ave Mujica should be the 5 of them, and that surely they have a strong enough bond that if one of them left, they wouldn't be able to carry on and just "find a replacement," right? She's our kindhearted front of the band who loves everyone equally, right?

Well

(To clarify the translation, it's not super clear whether Uika said this directly to her, or if Mortis just hit the nail on the head)

Oops! Now that's an awkward position to be in, especially in front of Sakiko herself! Zero denial either...

(*I'll just tack this thought on here, but there's potential Uika's "Please don't hate me" line from the trailer could be because she feels guilt for having said the "if one member quits it's over" line (and thus bringing about the downfall of the band))

Last thing for this episode...

Same, Mortis. What? Why does she have no fight in her? Why doesn't she care? Why is she not saying anything? Are her feelings of guilt, embarrassment and self-hatred actually overpowering her drive to be with Sakiko? Is it over for her, now that the cat's out of the bag regarding the fact she only ever cared about the band to be with Sakiko?

I noticed she acted like a kicked puppy in episode 3 as well. When someone points out how selfish she actually is, she loses all her edge and goes quiet. She wants to escape the situation. She can't fight against what's true about her (the ugliness in her heart), after all, lest she drives herself into a corner as a hypocrite even more than she already has. But her reactions are fascinating to me, because you'd think the front of the band, and someone who swore her life to Sakiko out of profound love for her, would put up more of a fight to keep the band together so she can stay with her. She's not doing damage control at all, she's just taking the hits and all the impact that comes with it. Maybe it's some form of self harm...

(I'm also incredibly curious to know what Sakiko thought of all of this, but maybe that was the least of her concerns...)

Anyway, we'll see what happens next week. I wonder if and when we'll get closure on why she's been so apathetic to Sakiko, despite her claimed devotion for her. I get the impression Sakiko will be moving out (next episode?), so we'll have to see how she reacts to that...

[caffedrine]

Keith Howell Sequel 02 - Fan Translation

If you trust me to know what I'm doing, then we have both made a huge mistake. I cannot guarantee accuracy for this fan translation, or even grammatical correctness.

Please support Cybird and pick up this event when it makes it to the English Server

Nervousness hastened the passage of time, and it would not be an exaggeration to say that the day of departure arrived in what felt like just two days.

Kougyoku is an island nation. Since a ship is necessary for entry, we first headed to the port by carriage...

Emma: “Keith... no, that’s not right.”

Alter!Keith: “Hmm?”

Emma: “We were supposed to read a book together, right?”

Alter!Keith: “I’d rather do this than read happily together.”

Emma: “Mmm...”

After being poked at the lips with his fingertips, I received yet another kiss.

Just moments ago, I had been reading a book with the gentle Nice!Keith, but now I was being sweetly teased by the mischievous Alter!Keith sitting on his lap.

Alter!Keith: “You enjoy kissing me, don’t you?”

Emma: “That way of asking is unfair, it’s underhanded and mean!”

Alter!Keith: “Because I am the mean Prince Keith, right?”

Alter!Keith: “Come on, this is fine, right? Just a bit ago, you were happily reading with him, now you should focus on me.”

Our foreheads bumped lightly together, and I shivered slightly at the warm breath that touched my lips. My heart began to sway at the gaze filled with a different kind of coldness and innocence unlike that of the gentle Keith.

(This isn’t forceful; it’s more like a playful request, which makes it even more unfair. But if I get swept away any further...)

Alter!Keith: “Emma.”

(Ah...!)

Just as I thought, he buried his face in the crook of my neck. To do such a cute action with that big body is unfair...

Emma: “...Just a little bit longer, okay?”

Alter!Keith: “You really are naive, aren’t you?”

Emma: “Let’s pretend that didn’t happen—nngh!”

Alter!Keith: “Naive and cute, I meant to say.”

(He’s still saying ‘naïve’!)

A kiss that was merely touching turned into a deep one as our tongues entwined. With my ears playfully covered, the sound of water echoed in my head, further amplifying the pleasure.

(My head is spinning...)

I finally thumped my chest as if pleading for release, and I was freed at last. The last light kiss that conveyed reluctance lingered the sweetest on my heart.

(Ah...)

Leaning against his sturdy body, Alter!Keith began to stroke my back. His large hand moved to my arm and took my hand in a gentle, enveloping manner. My gaze fell to his palm, and I felt a little overwhelmed.

(I take care of my hands meticulously, but they still don’t heal beautifully...)

From the work of an herbalist and practicing archery, my skin was rough in some places, with faint redness. They weren’t hands that could be called pretty. I instinctively tried to pull my hand back, but he wouldn’t let go.

His fingers gently massaged and rubbed, touching me in a way that showed care, making me feel embarrassed.

Emma: “...It would make me happy if you wouldn’t look at them so much.”

Alter!Keith: “I actually like this hand of yours, so asking me not to look is quite mean of you.”

His lips brushed against my palm again.

As the fiancée of the future king, the abilities required of me are various and high. Additionally, I am from a foreign country.

If I don't earn the trust of the citizens more than anyone else, there is certainly a possibility of becoming a burden to Keith in the future. I have been fully committed to my work and lessons until now.

(Because I want to stand proudly and confidently next to Keith...)

That’s why my heart heated up uncontrollably at his words and kisses that acknowledged my efforts.

Alter!Keith: “...”

Emma: “Keith?”

His thoughtful expression was only momentary, as he soon wore a smile on his lips again.

Alter!Keith: “You heard it from him, but Kougyoku is not a country to let your guard down. Don’t stray far from my side.”

Alter!Keith: “And don’t do anything reckless, okay?”

Emma: “...Yes.”

I was effortlessly lifted and seated beside Alter!Keith. His arm, which I thought would release me, instead embraced my waist, intertwining our fingers.

(...I feel like I've become accustomed to feeling his body heat whenever I’m with the mischievous Alter!Keith.)

Our bodies were tightly pressed against each other, and even the slightest movement would tighten his embrace.

It felt as if he was confirming something, urging me not to go anywhere.

Alter!Keith: “...Emma.”

With a jolt, memories rushed back and made my heart stir.

(…I should be happy, but...)

The pleasant rocking of the carriage and Keith’s warmth lured me into an irresistible drowsiness. My eyelids slowly began to lower— Just as my consciousness began to fade, I thought I heard Keith’s voice.

Alter!Keith: “...”

Alter!Keith: “You don't seem like you’d wake up even after being teased... Just do it only when I'm beside you.”

He brushed Emma's bangs with the back of his fingers and kissed her exposed forehead. She showed no signs of waking from her dreams.

His hands, encased in white gloves, opened the door of the box attached to the carriage. A notebook, a quill pen, and a small bottle of ink came into view, and a sigh escaped from Alter!Keith's lips.

Alter!Keith: “...This method is still so tedious.”

The sound of the quill pen gliding across the paper echoed quietly in the still carriage.

Later

Just like Rhodolite, where roses bloom year-round, Kougyoku is a land where cherry blossoms bloom all year. The country was wrapped in a soft pink hue, a beauty that exceeded my imagination many times over.

Using Keith’s outstretched hand, I got out of the carriage.

The city that welcomed us was full of vitality, and the cheerful expressions of the passersby naturally lifted the corners of my lips.

(Wow...!)

I was pulled closer by the waist as several children ran energetically past us.

(It was almost a collision.)

Emma: “Thank you.”

Keith: “...Uh, you’re welcome.”

(Huh?)

Seeing Keith wear a somewhat dazed expression made worry swell up within me.

Emma: “Are you feeling unwell?”

(Maybe he’s tired from the long journey.)

Then Keith shook his head anxiously, throwing my concern away with a lively gesture.

Keith: “No, not at all! If anything, I might be too energetic!”

Keith: “Right now, I’m confident that I could recite all the herbs from the herbarium while doing a handstand with one hand.”

(I kind of want to see that just a little.)

Keith: “I apologize for making you worry. And thank you.”

Keith: “Actually, my vision is a bit blurred from the brightness outside. But I really am all right now.”

Keith: “I won’t miss your cute figure getting all excited about being in Kougyoku for the first time.”

Emma: “Um, I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling fine.”

(A little concerning, but it seems he really isn’t ill. That’s a relief...)

Suddenly, Keith coughed lightly and brought his hands together.

Keith: “Well then, here’s a question for you, Emma.”

Emma: “! Yes, what is it?”

Keith: “How many islands make up Kougyoku?”

Emma: “There are four islands.”

Keith: “Correct. Currently, the three islands surrounding the central island are governed by their respective factions.”

Keith: “Now, for the next question. What is the name of the king who’s island we’re on?”

Emma: “King Kuga.”

Master Keith clapped lightly in front of his chest, signaling that I had answered correctly.

(I had heard that he had distanced himself from the royal family to build his own camp,)

(Before I investigated the situation in Kougyoku, I had assumed that Kagari was the king.)

Keith: “By the way, this town is particularly prosperous in Kougyoku, and there are many tourists.”

Keith: “This is my first time here as well.”

Emma: “Is that so! I’m so happy to have my first experience in Kougyoku together with you, Keith.”

Keith: “Really? Me too... I’m so glad.”

With a gentle smile that filled the area like bursts of colorful flowers, Keith brightened my mood.

(Ah, this is...)

Keith: “Is it okay if we take a little walk around the town? I feel like I’m a bit nervous about the Kougyoku diplomacy after such a long time.”

(Though he said that, it was really for my sake.)

(I’m sure that the suggestion to read a book together, as well as choosing the route to see the beautiful scenery, was all part of it...)

As various memories from our time traveling came to mind, I couldn’t help but let my cheeks soften.

(The mischievous Alter!Keith really spoiled me in so many ways to ease my tension...)

(With your consideration, I feel like I might lose my original form someday.)

Then, we took a short time to stroll around the city.

(Hmm...?)

I noticed this when we were about to head back to the carriage.

Child: “Hey? Where is it?”

(Could he be lost something...?)

In the crowd, a boy was looking around anxiously, searching for something. I couldn't see any adult who seemed to be his parent; he might have wandered off.

Seeing the growing anxiety on his face, I couldn’t stand by idly and took a step forward the moment—

Child: “—!”

(Huh...?)

The outstretched arms pulled the boy into a back alley.

(No way, a kidnapping...!)

Keith: “Emma!?”

He dashed forward, rushing into the dimly lit, winding alley to chase after them.

(I can’t hear any footsteps... Did he hide somewhere?)

I didn’t stop my feet, continuing deeper into the alley, turning corners—

(Eh—)

I stopped breathing at the scene before me.

The kidnapped boy was slumped against the wall, unconscious, while a man was collapsed beside him, bleeding.

And another man, with fiery red hair, stood there.

(Was this person the one who stopped the kidnapping...?)

However, sight of the blood heightened my caution—

The unreadable green eyes faced me, and my heart raced violently.

??? “You are...”

??? “Oh, it seems you arrived today.”

The red-haired man reacted to something, looking behind me.

??? “Is he with you?”

(That guy?)

Keith: “Emma! Over here!”

Hearing Keith’s voice slightly eased the tension in my body.

??? “Perfect timing. Let’s have a brief greeting here.”

Emma: “Um... are you an acquaintance of Master Keith?”

??? “If you ask whether we’re acquaintances, then yes, we are.”

Keith: “Emma, are you okay—!?”

A metallic sound reached my ears.

(Huh...?)

Before I knew it, the red-haired man had drawn the sword he had hanging at his waist and kicked off the wall.

He easily jumped over me and, without hesitation, swung the sword down toward Master Keith.

Despite the sudden attack, Master Keith quickly used his sword to block it—his golden eyes widened in shock.

Keith: “K-Kagari!?”

(Kagari...)

(Is this the second prince of Kougyoku, Kagari Amagase!?)

My mouth opened in surprise at the unexpected encounter. Meanwhile, Kagari's assault did not cease.

Even with a confused expression, Keith attacked back, and a fierce sword fight ensued. The alley transformed into a duel arena, and I could only stand there in shock, watching the two engage in battle.

(Kagari is feared as the Yasha, and it was said that if encountered on the battlefield, one would not survive.)

(Being able to fight evenly against such an opponent... Keith is amazing... but it’s not the time to be impressed.)

(I heard Keith say they were friends, but why is Kagari attacking Keith?)

(Is this a common greeting in Kougyoku...?)

(Whatever the case, what I need to do now is...)

I rushed over to the unconscious boy.

(Thank goodness, it seems he isn't injured anywhere.)

(Looking at the man over here... he’s bleeding, but it's not too serious.)

The depth of the wound suggested that he hadn't intended to take a life.

I took out some linen and outdoor medicine from my pouch to provide first aid.

Meanwhile, the fierce battle continued...

Kagari: “Your movements have become faster now that you’ve stopped making unnecessary ones. Good growth.”

Keith: “Emma is here... please sheathe your sword for a moment!”

Kagari: “That depends on your abilities. Do your best.”

Kagari kicked off the wall and leapt high, executing a kick aimed at Keith’s face.

Keith: “Kagari, can you please...”

Keith blocked the kick with his arm, and to my shock, he grabbed that leg with one hand...

Keith: “Just stop!!”

(He threw him...!)

Although he was thrown aside, Kagari gracefully corrected his posture mid-air and landed quietly.

Then, he nodded with a look of satisfaction.

Kagari: “That was a good throw. As fierce as ever, not matching your looks.”

Kagari: “You pass. Let’s call it a day for greetings.”

Keith: “Finally... it’s over.”

(Thank goodness...)

As Kagari skillfully twirled the sword and sheathed it, the tense atmosphere eased.

Following suit, Keith sheathed his sword and hurried over to me, checking my cheeks and arms with gentle touches.

Keith: “Emma, are you okay? Is there anywhere that hurts? Any injuries?”

Emma: “I’m fine. I’m sorry for running off without saying anything.”

At my words, Keith visibly relaxed and gently stroked my head.

Keith: “Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re alright, that’s what matters.”

Keith: “Besides... If I saw a child being taken away, I would also instinctively chase after them.”

Kagari: “Children are more valuable than adults. Depending on how they are raised, they can become good assets.”

Keith: “Kagari...”

Kagari: “It’s not unusual in Kougyoku. There’s no need to hide it.”

Kagari: “Still, I’ve witnessed a disturbing scene right after arriving.”

Suddenly, a man who seemed to be Kagari’s subordinate appeared silently. After bowing once, he effortlessly picked up the child and the injured man, silently leaving.

Emma: “Thank you for your help.”

Kagari: “...You’re welcome. I just did the usual.”

(The usual... I wonder if Kagari routinely inspects the city.)

Keith: “Emma, even though our schedule has gone haywire, this is Prince Kagari, he is the one who sent us the invitation.”

(Right, greeting time!)

Keith: “Kagari, this is Emma, my fiancée.”

I straightened my posture and looked up at Kagari again.

Emma: “I apologize for the late introduction. I’m Emma.”

Kagari: “......Nice to meet you, I’m Kagari Amagase. Welcome to Kougyoku.”

Kagari: “......”

Emma: “......”

(I’m being stared at intensely.)

Which option will you choose?

Continue looking at Kagari.

Seek help from Keith.

Casually avert your gaze.

I inadvertently glanced toward Keith, and he stepped forward, positioning himself to hide me behind his back.

(I can’t see Kagari now.)

Kagari: “When you appear right in front of me, there’s an overwhelming pressure. It’s like hitting a wall.”

Keith: “That’s my only trademark, being unnecessarily big.”

Kagari: “There are more than just that—like that fluffy hair of yours and that seemingly weak face.”

With that, Kagari began to move his body left and right, trying to catch a glimpse of me hiding.

Every time he did this, Keith would move side to side as well, obstructing him, and a peculiar game quietly began.

(It’s a huge contrast from the fierce battle they were having just moments ago.)

Kagari: “You're in the way, Keith.”

Keith: “You're looking too much, Kagari.”

Kagari: “Do I need to pay a fee to view her?”

Keith: “No man likes to have his fiancée stared at by another man.”

Kagari: “Is it okay if it’s not a man?”

Keith: “...It depends on the time and situation.”

Kagari: “I see, you’re a troublesome one. ...Well, calling you here was worth it.”

Kagari: “More importantly, you’re dressed more formally than usual. What’s up with that?”

His green eyes examined Keith’s outfit from bottom to top.

Keith: “I had a new one tailored for diplomacy.”

Kagari: “It suits you. Don’t you agree?”

Suddenly being questioned like that took me by surprise, and despite it, I nodded enthusiastically multiple times.

Emma: “Yes, it looks really cool!”

I had already said it dozens of times.

Yet, Master dropped his eyelids as if it were the first time he had heard it.

Keith: “Emma, you look amazing in that dress too.”

Keith: “It’s elegant and cute, and I really like how the colors and the embroidery on the sleeves match.”

Keith: “Your hair is loosely gathered, and having you look at me like this is still something I’m not used to; my heart races continuously.”

(I’ve heard it dozens of times already, but it still makes me so happy...)

Kagari: “It’s better not to look for your own sake.”

Keith: “I can’t help it. I want to see, so I’ll look at her.”

Kagari: “Okay then. I don’t quite understand that feeling, but it’s good that you’re safe.”

(I had imagined him as someone fearsome since he is called Yasha.)

There is an aura of approachability despite his unreadable expression and eyes, and the conversation between the two continues.

It seemed as though trust towards Kagari was leaking through Keith's gaze, which made my lips naturally curl into a smile.

(I feel like their movements during the earlier fight reflected an understanding of each other's fighting styles.)

(And the atmosphere is even somewhat amicable. Could it be that they are closer than I thought?)

(Speaking of which... why was I stared at so intensely by Kagari?)

Kagari: “Are you heading to the castle now?”

Keith: “Yeah. Kagari, are you in the middle of an inspection?”

Kagari: “I just finished. I’ll guide you from here.”

Keith: “Thank you.”

Keith: “Well then, Emma, shall we head back to the carriage?”

Emma: “Yes.”

I placed my hand in his large hand.

As we turned our backs to Kagari and headed back to the bustling main street, suddenly—

Kagari: “...”

(Huh, what...?)

A shiver ran through me, electrifying my whole body.

It felt as if something sharp was being pointed at me from behind, and the uncontrollable fear made my lips tremble.

When I realized that the killing intent was directed solely at me, I was pulled tightly to Keith’s shoulder, as if to be protected.

(Ah, what...?)

(Hey! Look who came out to play!)

Alter!Keith: “You... stop messing around.”

Kagari: “I’m surprised. You really are still here.”

(Why did it suddenly turn into  Alter!Keith?)

(And what do Kagari's words mean right now...?)

Alter!Keith had drawn his sword from its sheath, pointing it at Kagari's throat.

The intimidation was vividly reflected in his golden eyes, and it felt as if he could slit Kagari's throat at any moment.

In the tense atmosphere, where I had forgotten to breathe—Kagari gazed at me quietly.

Kagari: “I didn’t expect someone as weak as you to tame another beast.”

Kagari: “—How distorted.”

Normal Story: “It’s okay even if you hate me.”

Even though I was in the comforting arms that always gave me peace, the turmoil in my chest wouldn’t settle down.

And it wasn’t just in this moment.

Kagari: “It’s just a little prank. Don’t be so angry.”

The unleashed killing intent snapped back, and I remembered how to breathe again.

However, the anger emanating from Keith didn’t subside; rather, Kagari's words seemed to stoke the fire.

Alter!Keith: “Don’t you understand that your killing intent can make someone faint?”

Kagari: “I’m better at holding back than you.”

Kagari: “Shall I teach you? I’m used to being a teacher.”

Alter!Keith: “I’m not your student.”

As taunts piled upon taunts, Alter!Keith’s anger prickled my skin. With Alter!Keith showing a beast-like intimidation, I realized I was gripping his clothing.

Emma: “Keith, it’s okay.”

Emma: “I’m sorry, I was overly afraid.”

Alter!Keith: “Emma...”

Finally, our eyes met, and I felt a sense of relief just from that. The anger faded from his golden eyes as he furrowed his brow momentarily before sheathing his sword.

Alter!Keith: “There’s no need for you to apologize. It’s okay to be scared. It’s natural to feel fear.”

Kagari: “...I see.”

The green eyes that were curiously watching Keith turned toward me.

Suddenly, a large hand stretched out from behind, blocking my view and hiding Kagari’s face as if to cover everything. To keep it at a distance.

Kagari: “It’s rare for someone to display their emotions so blatantly just from a bit of killing intent.”

Kagari: “It seems you have a strong fondness for her.”

Alter!Keith: “Yeah. So could you please not involve Emma in your poorly conceived pranks?”

Kagari: “Then let’s think of something more tasteful.”

Alter!Keith: “Do not involve Emma at all from now on.”

Kagari: “You’re being aloof, especially for someone I haven’t seen in a while. You’ve had plenty of these types of pranks before.”

Kagari: “Ah, being distant was always your style, wasn’t it?”

Alter!Keith: “Damn... why is he friends with someone like that.”

He let out a deep sigh of frustration.

(I might be seeing for the first time how he shows his true self without dressing it up in front of anyone but Liam.)

(Although not as gentle as Keith, it seems the Alter!Keith also lets his guard down around Kagari.)

(...From Kagari’s tone, it seems that this isn’t the first time he’s been pranked.)

(So that anger was something that surged up in the heat of the moment...)

“A little killing intent and you’re that easy to read?” The words Kagari had spoken earlier began to swirl in my mind. It's rare for the Alter! Keith to openly display such anger, enough to draw his sword.

He always hid it behind a smile, suppressing others with the air he exuded.

(...It’s happening again. My heart feels uneasy.)

Whenever I’m with Alter!Keith, I’ve become accustomed to feeling his body heat. His eyes, directed toward anyone approaching me, have begun to flash with caution.

I wonder when that started. When did I start to feel unease brushing against my heart, despite my happiness...

Recollecting my memories, the first thing that left a mark in my heart was—

~Flashback~

(Hm... where is this...?)

My blurred vision became clear with a blink. I didn't know why I was lying on the bed.

(Is it already evening? I was sure I entered the nearby forest for herb gathering with Yuel in the morning...)

Alter!Keith: “You’re awake later than I expected.”

When I turned my face toward the voice, I saw Keith sitting in a chair right next to me.

As our eyes met, a soft sigh escaped his lips.

The fleeting expression of worry on his face reminded me of the memories...

(That’s right. I instinctively helped the herbalist who almost slipped and fell...)

Feeling an odd sensation, I touched my head and found that it was wrapped in bandages. I must have hit my head when I fell and lost consciousness right then and there.

(I’ve caused so many people worry and trouble...)

Alter!Keith, seated at the edge of the bed, looked down at me with a mixture of exasperation and slight anger.

Alter!Keith: “According to the doctor, despite appearances, the injuries aren’t that serious.”

Alter!Keith: “You have scrapes on your head, arm, and leg. Your left ankle has a mild sprain.”

His hand awkwardly touched each place where the bandages were wrapped.

Alter!Keith: “Does it hurt anywhere?”

Emma: “No.”

Alter!Keith: “Water?”

Emma: “...I’ll drink some.”

Carefully lifting my body so as not to aggravate my injuries, I brought the glass to my lips.

The coldness of the water as it slid down my throat felt nice, and I felt my consciousness becoming clearer than before.

After placing the empty glass on the side table, Master Keith gently combed through my tousled hair.

Emma: “I’m sorry for making you worry.”

Alter!Keith: “...It’s fine since you’re safe. But you were just lucky this time.”

Alter!Keith: “According to Yuel, you fell from quite a height, and it’s a miracle you came away with only minor injuries.”

Emma: “Yes...”

Emma: “Oh, is the person who almost fell okay?”

At that moment, the air grew a little heavy.

After furrowing his brow, Alter!Keith sighed softly.

Alter!Keith: “...He’s fine. Thanks to you, he didn’t get a scratch.”

Emma: “I see... that’s good to hear.”

Alter!Keith: “No, it’s not good.”

(...?)

Just as I felt his hand touch my shoulder, my familiar ceiling and Alter!Keith’s face filled my vision.

His large body looming over me felt like a cage.

Alter!Keith: “That guy entered a restricted area without following orders, right?”

Alter!Keith: “And he almost fell after slipping, and came back unscathed thanks to you.”

Alter!Keith: “Do you think I would feel lucky to have such a nice Emma around?”

The quiet anger and frustration in his voice tightened my chest with regret.

(At that time, I was the only one in a position to help.)

(If I encountered a similar situation, I...)

All I could do was think and hope that such a situation would never arise.

Alter!Keith: “You're not allowed to go out alone until your injuries heal. I’ll stick by you and take care of you.”

Emma: “Eh, but—”

Alter!Keith: “If you're truly feeling sorry for making me worry, you’ll listen to me, right?”

(When he puts it that way, I can’t say anything.)

Emma: “...Yes.”

Alter!Keith: “And also...”

He grabbed my wrist, as if pinning me to the sheets. It didn’t hurt, but I didn’t move an inch.

Alter!Keith: “I know you're ridiculously kind. But don’t jump into danger for the sake of others.”

Alter!Keith: “If you get hurt again... let’s see, maybe locking you in your room wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”

(Huh...?)

Alter!Keith: “At first, it might be boring, but repeating it would turn it into an ordinary daily routine.”

Alter!Keith: “I...”

After a moment of silence, a small laugh escaped from Master Keith's lips.

His expression as he looked down was different from moments ago, as if he were putting on his usual demeanor.

Alter!Keith: “...Just kidding, don’t take me seriously.”

(Really...?)

To call it a joke seemed strange, as his expression and tone were too calm... It felt as if a part of his words were drawn directly from his heart.

Alter!Keith: “That was... a little punishment for you, who worries about others even when you're injured.”

Alter!Keith: “Well, if you pull something like this again, the joke might just become serious, okay?”

His wavering eyes exhibited a dimness, appearing to suppress emotion.

(It seems like he’s worrying... but it’s more than that.)

Alter!Keith: “Emma...”

(Ah...!)

Our foreheads pressed together, and our gazes met.

Alter!Keith: “Did I scare you too much?”

Emma: “...No.”

Emma: “I feel so sorry for making you worry so much, and for having you take care of me starting tomorrow.”

Emma: “My heart is full of remorse...”

(Even if I practice archery or work to strengthen my body, it’s meaningless if I cause worry...)

Alter!Keith: “Then do you want to be punished?”

Emma: “Punished?”

Alter!Keith: “Yeah. A punishment for making me worry.”

Emma: “If it's something I can endure, I’d like to take it for as long as possible.”

Alter!Keith: “Make me feel like ‘it's all okay’ again, will you?”

How to do that... the gaze directed toward my lips taught me.

(This is less of a punishment and more about comforting me.)

(He’s mischievous, but he’s incredibly kind at times like this.)

To receive my "punishment," I wrapped my arms around Keith's neck and pulled him closer.

And then, I pressed my lips against his.

Alter!Keith: “Just one time?”

Emma: “As long as it takes for you to feel ‘it’s all okay.’”

(The more I like him, the more I feel like I can’t convey the words in my heart properly.)

Because I like him, I want to know everything, and I want to be by his side.

At the same time, I hesitate, fearing that these feelings might corner him.

Caught between these two extreme feelings, anxiety nested in my heart.

Have I always been this clumsy?

Alter!Keith: “Emma.”

Emma: “Y-yes?”

His calling my name pulled me back to reality.

Kagari had already passed us and had turned his back.

Emma: “I’m sorry, I was lost in thought.”

Alter!Keith: “Well then, I’ll carry you to the carriage. It’d be a problem if you fell.”

Emma: “Thank you. But I’m okay now, so I’ll just accept the sentiment.”

Alter!Keith: “Hmm? That’s too bad.”

Alter!Keith: “Then, take me to the carriage so I don’t space out and fall, okay?”

The hand intertwined with mine tugged gently, pulling my body closer.

The joined hands were strong and didn’t budge an inch.

Emma: “Understood. But don’t stray away, okay?”

In his narrowed golden eyes, relief spread in my heart more than affection.

Alter!Keith: “....”