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organic-guacamole · 3 years ago

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showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #gina porter #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #howie my pizza king #lily hsmtmts

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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

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Quarantine On Crack

Until Dawn Gang + Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Some underage drinking, A LONG-ASS READ (sorry 😅)

Genre: Fluff, Crack, Humor

Summary: The Until Dawn kids (including Hannah and Beth) decide to go through literal hell - trying to survive each other while being stuck on a mountain, in a lodge together for an undetermined amount of time. It’s really a 50/50 chance of how their relationships will be affected by this much time spent together.

Requested by my dear Until Dawn Anon. This is the first time our babies aren’t suffering yay! Hope you enjoy! Know I had a ton of fun writing. The credit for some of these amazing quotes goes out to you (keep both the requests and quotes coming, I absolutely love them!) Love you, Vy ❤

Imagine what the aftermath of a human tornado would look like. You’ve got an image? Great. Now triple it as though three tornados had ripped through the place. Cause that’s what the lodge looks like right now.

Let me backtrack just for a second so I can give you a proper idea of what’s going on and how it came to be. I’d like to mention this ain’t my first rodeo. I’m not in Blackwood nor am I staying in this lodge with this group of people for the first time. I knew what I was getting myself into when I accepted Josh’s offer to go there now with this pandemic that’s eating away at the world. I knew certain members of the group would be hell to put up with but that quarantine beat staying at home alone with my thoughts, so I gave in. This plan had its perks: since we would be the only ones on the mountains and all of us are perfectly healthy, we’d be allowed to wander the woods and breathe some fresh air. On the other hand, however, I’d have to restrain myself from committing murder. The snowy wood outweighed the possibility of becoming a murderer and that’s how I ended up here with the ten people I’ve been friends with since high school freshmen year.

We’re on day four so far. Yes DAY four, not WEEK four, and people are already scrapping with one another. Jess and Emily can barely tolerate each other. Mike and Matt likewise. I’ve been done with their shit since day two and am now watching a literal rom-com unfold in front of me. “Will They, Won’t They Squared” is the title in case you were wondering. Why squared? Well we have two pairs of love birds around here that are not official, BUT THEY SHOULD BE. Not naming any names or anything *ahem*.

I probably should’ve mentioned, while I was on the scrapping topic, that I have already managed to threaten Mike at least ten times. Emily and I are trying our hardest to remain civil with each other through passive aggression, and I must admit we’re doing well.

Another thing that has been going on is A LOT OF FUCKING FLIRTING. I swear we run on hormones and caffeine. And I’m into it.

Jess and Emily were at each other’s throats just moments ago, the argument took so many turns and kept branching out so much I forgot what they were even fighting about. Sam and Josh are sitting in front of the unlit fireplace. Sam’s giving him a hard time about his inability to light a fire. She’s basically doing what I would’ve been doing if Matt hadn’t handed me a cup of homemade cider.

“Y/N.“ He says as he settles on the other end of the couch

“Matthew.“ I reply to his greeting, clinking our cups together

“GET A ROOM YOU TWO!“ Emily yells from somewhere behind us

“We have like three empty seats between us and exchanged two words.“ Matt shakes his head, looking at the staircase over the backrest.

“Oh, sureee.“ Emily replies sarcastically

I can tell she’s about to go on and I’ve already went off on Mike twice today so my argument energy levels are low and I’m not having it. Thankfully, a single look shuts her up real quick and she goes about her way.

Suddenly, a loud scream comes from the kitchen. Everyone turns to look in that direction, but I’m unfazed. It’s Ashley’s scream so I know exactly what’s up.

“Sit tight, guys. I’ve got this.“ I put my cider on the coffee table and walk into the kitchen, grabbing the can of deodorant that I purposely left on the counter for this exact scenario. I pull the lighter out of my pocket and step between Ashley and the source of her terror which is, as I guessed, one of those mutated ass Blackwood cockroaches.

I waste no time torching it and picking it up with a paper towel before throwing it in the trash. We take the trash out every night at eleven PM as some unspoken ritual, so the corpse can chill there for now. I ain’t going out in the cold just to throw away the dead body of a cockroach.

“Sorry about that.“ Ashley says through a relieved sigh

“Don’t worry, Ash. Everyone’s afraid of something.“ I assure her, putting the can of deodorant where it previously was.

“Even you?“ she asks skeptically

“Nope.“ I respond with a smirk.

“I CAN CONFIRM!“ Josh calls out from his spot in front of the fireplace, “SHE ISN’T AFRAID OF ANYTHING!“

“And a pyromaniac on top of all.“ Chris mumbles under his breath

He’s not wrong. I did teach them the deodorant flamethrower trick.

I notice Jess has taken one of those three seats Matt mentioned were between him and I earlier. The one closest to him, to be specific. Instead of third wheeling, I grab my cup and plop myself in one of the armchairs.

“Is that another point for the ‘Y/N’s burnt cockroaches’ score board?“ Mr. Munroe struts his way into the room.

I hum affirmatively, “Piss me off some more and there will be another point on that score board.” I warn him nonchalantly, taking a sip of my now almost cold cider.

Ashley, who has safely made it out of the kitchen and is now sitting on the floor by the couch looks up at me and Mike who is now standing behind my chair, looming over me like a street lamp. “Do you two even consider each other friends?”

I give Mike a debating glance, one he returns, before looking back at Ash, “We fuck occasionally.” Mike confirms from behind me.

“That doesn’t answer the question.“ Ashley’s disappointed sigh mixes with Jess’ shocked gasp.

I give Jess an unamused look, “What? Don’t act like I haven’t slept with you too.”

Poor Matt, who’s halfway through a sip of his drink nearly chokes at my words, “Wait, WHAT?”

“OK, show hands everyone who HASN’T slept with Y/N!“ Mike declares.

Chris, Ash, Sam, Josh and Matt raise their hands in the air.

“I’m honestly offended that I haven’t.“ Sam says while raising hers.

“Offended that you haven’t what?“ Hannah asks as her and Beth come downstairs a bunch of board games and puzzles in their arms. “And why are we raising our hands?”

“People who haven’t slept with Y/N.“ Jess quickly explains, grumpily folding her arms over her chest. I can’t help but laugh, nor can I restrain the urge to fluster her even further by winking at her.

“I would raise my hand but these boxes would go everywhere.“ Hannah shakes her head.

“I won’t raise mine because....well, I just won’t.“ Beth blushes, making me laugh.

Josh whips around to glare at me, “Seriously?”

I raise my hands in surrender, “Wasn’t my idea.”

Thankfully the topic is dropped by the time Emily walks in. She sits down on the other side of Jess on the couch, more than happy to interrupt her and Matt’s flirting.

“Oh, finally!“ Sam says as the fire that’s been in the making for a while now finally lights, “I knew you could do it, Josh!“

“We could’ve done it a lot quicker if you helped, you know?“ He narrows his eyes playfully at her, taking the hand she offered to him so she could help him up.

“True, but I was your moral support. You know I like focusing on one task rather than multitasking.“ She teases him, “And now I’ll be your cider supplier. Be right back.“

I give Josh that knowing smirk when I see his ears reddening. You know something’s up when your cheeks/ears are burning hot in a room that’s around freezing - you’re either burning with a fever or a crush. No other explanation.

Hannah and Beth have set the board games they’ve brought onto the coffee table so we can decide what we’d like to play.

“UNO?“ Beth offers while Jess, Josh and Matt look at the options.

War-like flashback ensue when I shake my head, “No! Nah hah, I’ll be tempted to strangle somebody.”

“Over UNO?“ Josh gives me this look that’s between disappointed and deeply concerned

“I’ve been tempted to kill over Rock, Paper and Scissors.“ That statement tells him enough that he turns back around with this stunned look on his face.

Eventually, after a lot of convincing, the whole gang is on board with playing a round or two of truth or dare until one of us decides something more original because we really don’t feel like playing board games.

“Truth or dare, Y/N?“ Emily asks, not giving anyone else a chance.

I smirk, kicking my feet up on the table, leaning back in the chair, “Truth for the first round.”

“Who here is the best in bed?“ she sneakily narrows her eyes at me, thinking she’s intimidating. How cute.

“Dare.“ Why don’t we make things interesting?

Em doesn’t complain, “We still have that cockroach’s corpse?”

“Enough said.“ I get up from my seat only to get grabbed by Mike and pulled back down.

“Easy there, caveman.“ He says, shaking his head, “Just answer the question. This doesn’t need to be gross.”

Chris, Ash, Matt and Jess look mortified. “You were gonna do it, weren’t you?” Matt gathers the guts to ask.

I give him a sweet smile and a nod. “And to answer your question: Me. My turn! Josh, truth or dare?”

He glares at me intensely, “Dare.”

The fucker knows I’m not the type to give ‘kiss this person’ or ‘7 minutes in heaven with that person’ dares. But I do ask some risky questions. Well...the only way to get him into my trap is to use his hatred for bug against him.

“We do still have that cockroach. So...“ I give an innocent shrug of the shoulders, giving him the chance to put two and two together instead of breaking it to him.

You could pinpoint the exact moment the realization hits him, his face turning in disgust. “You know, Y/N, sometimes I really love you.” He says, very touching of him, “And sometimes I’d love to kill you.” He takes a moment, a moment filled with aggressive eye contact between us before finally giving in, growling: “Truth.”

I think I’m level with Mother Theresa for what I did next. “What’s your favorite video game?”

The relief that washes over him is priceless to see. His answer comes as a sigh that indicates that the whole world has been lifted off his chest, “Metal Gear Solid.”

“Cool.“ I say with a cheeky smile.

Being the college kids we are, we easily get bored after a few more rounds, but not before having to defuse an argument that’s basically name-calling between Jess and Emily. I’ve noticed a pattern: if one of them as much as breathes in the other’s direction - a cat fight takes place.

Thankfully, the group disperses into smaller groups or in pairs. Sam, Josh, Chris and Ash go to the theater. Mike and Jess head upstairs, and I think no one would like to go to that area of the lodge in the next two or so hours. Emily and Matt go on a stroll while Hannah and Beth somehow convince me to play Monopoly.

The round ends with Beth somehow gathering all of mine and Hannah’s territories. After a brief celebration they head on over to the theater to join the others. I turn down their offer to accompany them and go warm up the cider that’s now literally frozen.

“Grab whiskey if you want to speed up the process.“ I’m surprised to hear Munroe’s voice behind me but don’t show it as I refuse to even turn around to answer him.

“I’m saving the whiskey for when things get really fucked up.“

“Smart, I guess.“

I choose to be nice and fill up a cup for him as well. I hop up on the counter, taking a slow sip of my drink while looking Mike, who’s standing opposite me, leaning against the kitchen island, dead in the eyes.

“You know,“ he’s the one to break the tense silence that surged between us, “jealousy is a poisonous thing.“

Intriguing opening, Michael. “I’ve heard, yes.”

“Then why don’t you just drop it? You’ll be happier if you do, trust me.“ That smug look on his face makes me want to pour the hot liquid (Destery Smith, anyone?) directly onto his handsome features.

I hear a pair of footsteps approaching the kitchen. A side glance in the direction the noise is coming from confirms that there are indeed two people coming this way - Chris and Ashley.

“A bold thing to tell me while we’re around so many sharp objects.“ If the eyes are really windows to the soul, I would like to picture his with a bunch of stab-wounds from my glare-daggers. Though my gaze is intense, there is a calm smirk on my face. “I can kill you right now.“

Chris and Ashley walk into the kitchen and freeze - they clearly hadn’t noticed us until it was too late. They are looking at us like a pair of deer caught in headlights - mortified.

Mike jumps at the opportunity to ensure his safety, “You can’t! There’s witnesses.”

Unfazed, I turn to the pair who’s on the fence about what they should do, “Guys, could you please excuse us for a moment.”

They both nod hesitantly, slowly taking a step back. Mike is not about to let them go, however. He straightens up, setting the cup he’s holding aside. “No, no, no! Don’t move! Not another step!”

Their eyes land on me and I give them a reassuring and encouraging nod to exit the room. They both comply easily.

“Guys, come on!“ Mike pleads desperately, making me suppress a chuckle

“Sorry, Mike. But you won’t show up at my house in the middle of the night....“ Chris trails off with his apology when Ashley takes hold of his hand so she can lead him away from the kitchen.

“She will.” Ash finishes his sentence, giving me a subtle wink to which I reply by blowing her a kiss.

“Checkmate“ I say triumphally, turning to look at a somewhat scared and disappointed Mike.

“A FIRE IN THE THEATRE!“ Hannah’s scream startles all of us.

I look at the where I left the deodorant earlier, finding the spot vacant. Oh boy...

“Damn it, Josh! I told you not to use the flamethrower without my supervision!“

As Mike and I run out of the kitchen I hear Chris say: “I’m afraid this is the only time this getaway will be lit.”

I hope Ashley gently smacked him upside the head in response to that.

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setaripendragon · 5 years ago

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There’s a Miracle Right There

So, this is a very old idea that I decided I ought to just finish and throw out there now that I’m back in the Supernatural fandom. Idk if anyone else will care, but I always wanted to give Layla a happy ending, so, that’s what this is. (Virtual cookies to everyone who remembers who Layla is XD)

‘Ugh, how do I even- Uh, our father who art in heaven? This is so stupid I don’t even believe in God what the hell am I doing? Uh, ok, start again. I guess, this goes to anyone who can hear me? I don’t know if- if anyone’s listening – it’d be kind of creepy if you were, actually, god, these are my thoughts, I don’t want anyone else inside my head, goddamnit, focus – or if you douchebags even care but- Ok. There’s this girl. A nice girl. Layla Rourke. And she’s really kind, and sweet and… you know, just a whole round decent human being, which is pretty fucking rare.

‘Anyway, the thing is, she’s got this brain tumour, and she was going to see this- this faith healer, except he wasn’t, his wife had put a reaper on a leash and she was killing people to, I don’t know, transfer their health to the sick people in her husband’s flock, and- The point here is we had to stop her and now Layla’s going to die, and I- I don’t know, I feel like it’s my responsibility to- to at least try and… Ask for a miracle? Aw, hell, this sounds stupid even inside my own head. If you can hear this you probably already knew she was dying and don’t even give a fuck. Well, you know what, fuck you. Who the hell can sit around watching people suffer and just let it happen?

‘I don’t care if you’ve got reasons, or if you’re just an asshole. That girl deserves better. She deserves to have a life before she dies, alright? So- So if you are out there, then… At least help her. Goddamnit what the fuck am I even doing I give up.’

Gabriel snorted. Being away from heaven had muted the babble of prayers in the back of his head, but not so much that he couldn’t hear them if he focused. And that one had come through loud and clear, for all the lack of faith behind it. Maybe Dean Winchester just got faster broadband, courtesy of being the Righteous Man, maybe it was the conviction of his beliefs, regardless of how much actual faith he had, Gabriel didn’t know.

Plus, Gabriel liked listening to the prayers that weren’t sickly with the simpering faith of idiots who didn’t even understand what they were believing in, or talking to. Or the ones that were bitter with false righteousness and superiority. Those were the worst. But the ones that came form people who were just trying to find answers, those were always interesting.

Not that Gabriel ever did anything about them. He couldn’t risk his cover like that. The other angels would be getting those open-ended prayers much louder and clearer than he was. Not that they would get up off their sanctimonious little asses, either, but they’d certainly notice if someone else did their job for them.

Except… maybe they wouldn’t? Just this once. He was bored, anyway. He spent all his time punishing the wicked, and that was fun, but it was also getting a bit tedious. Samey. Dull. Maybe it would be interesting to shake it up a bit, so he wrapped up the trick he was playing on a bunch of businessmen in Japan, and went to find Layla Rourke.

She really was a good person, he discovered. Her faith made Gabriel feel kind of gross, not just because she had no idea how fucked up God and his angels really were, but because it reminded him of everything he used to be. He wasn’t going to heal her right off, because that would be suspicious to the fucks upstairs, so instead, he insinuated himself into her life by masquerading as one of the homeless that visited the soup kitchen she volunteered at, and he watched her.

He maybe played a few tricks on the assholes who harassed the other homeless while he was waiting, but mostly, he just kept an eye on Layla. He could see her getting closer and closer to death, but even though her body was failing her, her soul stayed bright. Gabriel was a little impressed despite himself. Most people weren’t that at peace with their own death, no matter what they liked to pretend to themselves

A couple of weeks, he figured, was long enough.

“This is the part where I say ‘Be not afraid’, right?” Gabriel asked by way of introduction. They were in a church, because he couldn’t resist a little melodrama, and Layla was sitting in one of the pews, alone, seeking solace. She might have made peace with death, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hurting.

She startled at the sound of his voice, and looked up from her prayer. “Oh, Gabe, I didn’t hear you come in.” She said, breathless with surprise, and then she actually registered what he’s said, and laughed. “Are you saying you’re an angel?” She asked, teasing and friendly.

“Gabe is short for Gabriel.” Gabriel replied with an easy grin, and then beckoned her up to the front of the church. Layla gave him a puzzled look, but did get up and walk over to him.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, more curious than nervous, when she came within touching distance of him. “I didn’t get the feeling you’re particularly religious.” She added gently, because Gabriel had cringed a little at some of the more faithful things she’d said at the soup kitchen.

“Define religious.” He muttered darkly, and then shook the thought off. “I’m here to heal you.” He told her.

Layla stiffened, all the good humour sliding off her face in an instant. She swallowed and looked away. “Please don’t joke about that.” She chided him, still gentle.

“I’m not.” Gabriel replied, and then shrugged, shoving a hand into his pocket to grab a lollipop. He started unwrapping it. “Been a while since I’ve done this sort of thing. Ran away to join the pagans, oh, some couple thousand years ago. Tried not to go throwing my grace around after that, in case Mikey noticed and came to drag me home by my ear.”

Layla stared at him, blinking rapidly. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but stopped, clearly thinking better of whatever she’d been about to say. “You’re… saying you’re the archangel Gabriel?” She asked eventually, clearly dubious.

“That’s me.” Gabriel confirmed, popping the lolly in his mouth and grinning around it.

“I would have thought an angel wouldn’t look so… human.” Layla replied, a weirdly tentative note of challenge in her voice.

“Well, technically, I don’t.” Gabriel replied, a little muffled around his lolly. “Look human, that is. I’m just… wearing one. If you looked on my true form, your eyeballs would burn clear out of your head and your brains would fry. I’m here to heal you, not harm you.”

“Ah.” Layla said, feigning understanding and doing nothing to hide her bewildered amusement.

“Hey,” Gabriel said, plucking the lollipop from his mouth and gesturing vaguely with it, “what have you got to lose from giving it a go, huh? Either I’m nuts, and nothing will happen, or I’m telling the truth, and you walk out of here cured.”

Layla considered him for a moment, then smiled and nodded. “You have a point.” She acknowledged. “What do I have to do?” She asked.

“Just give me your hand.” Gabriel replied, holding out his own, the one not full of lollipop.

To her credit, now that she’d decided to hell with it, Layla didn’t hesitate. She reached out and put her hand in his as easy as you please. Gabriel stuck his lollipop back in his mouth, and covered her knuckles with his newly freed hand, patting it once, and then twice as he reached out with his grace and swept it through her body, putting everything to rights again.

Layla swayed, gasping softly, and suddenly clinging to his hand bruising-tight. “Oh.” She said, shock and wonder in her tone as she focused on him, and then promptly dropped to her knees. Gabriel blinked at her as she rested her forehead on the back of his hand and whispered, “Thank you.”

“While I’m usually all for having a woman on her knees for me, this is just awkward. Get up, please.” Gabriel pleaded.

Layla looked up at him, gaping in incredulous, scandalised amusement. She did get up, but she was still looking at him with wonder. “I’m pretty sure angels aren’t supposed to say things like that.” She told him, voice trembling with laughter that was only half amusement. The other half was definitely edging towards hysteria.

Gabriel shrugged. “What’s Dad going to do? Smite me?”

Layla shook her head. “I never would have imagined an angel could be so… irreverent.”

Gabriel sighed and stuck his hands back in his pockets. He crunched down on the lolly in his mouth, chewed, swallowed, and then made the stick disappear. “We’re not infallible, Layla.” He told her sadly. “I mean, shit, Lucy proved that. But he wasn’t the only one, you know? Mike’s a control-freak and Raph’s a bigoted douchenozzle, and I’m the irresponsible fuck up. We’re-” He snorted. “We’re a lot more human than anyone likes to acknowledge.”

Layla hummed, thoughtful and understanding, but not actually convinced. “There are worse things to be like than humans” She retorted lightly. Gabriel snorted again, and then burst out laughing.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He agreed. They stayed standing there for a moment in silence, both of them contemplating the other, before Gabriel decided it was time to clear off. He clapped his hands together. “Right, well! I’ve got places to be, people to seduce, heresies to commit.”

Layla laughed again, but then reached out. “Wait!” She called, so Gabriel paused, looking at her expectantly. For a moment, Layla looked helpless, but then she finally managed to ask; “Why me? I- Not that I’m not grateful, but you said you haven’t done this for a while, so I… I just wondered, why now? Why me?”

Gabriel watched her for a long moment, debating. There were a lot of answers he could give. Because he was bored. Because she deserved it. Because he wanted to prove that he could. Because the end was nigh, so what the hell. Because, because, because. “Because Dean Winchester prayed for you.” He said finally.

Layla blinked. Her mouth opened in silent shock. “Dean?” She asked. Gabriel nodded. “Why…?” She trailed off, but Gabriel understood.

He could tell her that Dean was special, that he was The Righteous Man, that he’d been chosen by God to play an important role. He didn’t want to. Because he didn’t do this because of who Dean is to Heaven and the Host, even if that was why he heard Dean’s prayer as clearly as he had. He came because… “Because he said ‘fuck you’ to a heaven that doesn’t care about good people suffering.”

“That sounds like him.” Layla agreed fondly, and for a moment she looked like she might cry, just from the overload of emotion. “Tell him thank you, from me, if you get the chance.”

“Are you kidding? I’m not mentioning this to anyone.” Gabriel replied, scoffing.

“Ah, yes, you’re in hiding.” Layla remembered, shaking her head at him in amusement. “Well, anyway. Thank you, Gabriel.” She said, leaning in to make sure she could meet his gaze when she said it. On impulse, Gabriel leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Don’t mention it, sweetheart.” He told her, offering her a wink before taking wing.

#Supernatural #Gabriel #Layla Rourke #poor layla #believing in pure and good angels #and then she meets gabriel #but then if anyone's faith could withstand that #it would be layla's really

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cksmart-world · 5 years ago

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The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

by Christopher Smart

July 23, 2019

Cognitive Dissonance By Any Other Name

Hey Wilson, do you know what cognitive dissonance is? No, it's not when you get too loose to trek and trek anyway. It's more like a brain cramp. For example, if you are a Trump supporter and he says something that's regarded negatively, like a racist comment, then your brain gets confused. Part of your brain is saying, Trump is good, while another part is saying, that's not good. So to keep from going crazy, your brain says, that wasn't racist, all he said was go back to where you came from. Or, if it comes out that Trump said he likes to grab women by the crotch, your brain says, oh well, everybody says that. And when an FBI investigation reveals he made hush-money payments to a porn star, your brain says, that didn't really happen and Michael Cohen is a lying shithead. Well, yes, Wilson, it kinda does explain Teflon. But we digress. Maybe your brain is saying all those examples are based on lies — fake news. It didn't happen, period. Voilà, no brain cramp. Just filter out everything you don't like — it makes life a lot easier. As for Republicans in Congress, you're right, Wilson, it's just another term for “chickenshit.”

Just Say, No, To Killing Embryos

Thank goodness the city council in that Utah County bastion of righteousness, Highland, has come out against abortion. OK, yes, it was a non-binding resolution, but it adds steam to the mass hysteria here in Utah surrounding the killing of embryos. Merrilee Boyack, chairwoman of the newly formed group, Abortion-Free Utah, says every Utah lawmaker is paying attention. "It gives them, I believe, courage to move forward aggressively to end elective abortion when they see the will of the people are moving very strongly in that direction." Earlier, the city of Riverton took similar action, proving that not everyone in Salt Lake County is an embryo killer. Sure, some might say, what do these part-time city council people know about abortion? Well, what's there to know? You're either making women take unwanted pregnancies to term, or you're not. It's time, once and for all, for the government to completely force its way into women's personal health decisions. Women just cannot be trusted to be responsible for their own bodies. Each and every embryo is important until it is born — then it's someone else's problem. Free agency, and all that.

Minimum Wage Is Un-American

Raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour would be a travesty. The minimum wage is now $7.25 an hour, as it has been for a decade. That is plenty for a family of four — it's an entire $290 a week or $1,160 per month. And all those people who work two minimum-wage jobs are just greedy complainers. They should stay home and take care of their children. We're talking family values here. That's why every member of Utah's delegation to the Houses of Representatives — including Democrat Ben McAdams — voted against this ill-advised blunder by Democrats. Just imagine if everyone got $15 an hour. Why heck, that's $600 a week — $31,200 a year. What would happen to corporate profits, say nothing of CEO salaries. Despite Utah congressmen, the bill passed out of the House. Fortunately, the Republican-dominated Senate will spike this blatant act of socialism. The Democrats are set on destroying the economy by giving consumers more money. Next thing you know, they'll want affordable health care for everyone and turn this country into Venezuela. Poor people should just shut up and show some gratitude for all they have.

Men Of Principal vs. Jon Stewart

Sens. Rand Paul and Mike Lee are men of principal. Jon Stewart just does't get that. See, here's what really happened: There was a bill to extend benefits for 9-11 first responders who suffer from many maladies, including cancer. It was stalled in Congress but Stewart went to Capitol Hill and shamed the House and Senate into passing it. But at the last minute, Rand Paul and Mike Lee put a hold on the legislation, because there isn't enough money in the budget. Sure, Congress just passed a $733 billion budget for defense. And yes, they passed a tax cut for corporations and the wealthy that added $1 trillion to the debt. But that's beside the point. What Rand and Mike explained to dumb people, like Jon Stewart, is that in order to give the ailing first responders more funding, a similar amount of money has to be cut elsewhere, on account of they are men of principal and excessive spending goes against their Republican creed. Rand Paul is right, Jon Stewart is nothing more than a lying sack of you-know-what. Who does he think he is, anyway? As Republicans, they must do everything they can to balance the budget for our children and grandchildren, because after tax cuts and military spending, it's important.

Post Script — Neil Armstrong and the Apollo 11 crew proved 50 years ago that the moon is not made of green cheese. This whole green cheese-thing, it turns out, was bogus from the get-go. Our crack research team here at Smart Bomb did some digging and found that the phrase had its origins centuries ago when someone compared the full moon to a round of green cheese. But that's not all — green cheese isn't green, it's just unripened. Who knew?

A half century is a long time and things have changed. The average cost of a new house in 1969 was $15,550; the average income was $8,550; the average cost of a new car was $3,270 — and you could get a brand new Toyota Corona for only $1,950; and gas was 35 cents a gallon. “Hot Fun In the Summertime” by Sly and The Family Stone was the #1 hit that July. Richard Nixon was president and we were bogged down in Viet Nam, where thousands of Americans were dying each year. Ah, the good old days.

Well, that's it for another broiling July week here at Smart Bomb, where Wilson and the band are tuning up to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Woodstock come August. If you remember that rock festival in upstate New York, you probably weren't there. All right, Wilson, pick it:

By the time we got to Woodstock / We were half a million strong / And everywhere there was song and celebration / And I dreamed I saw the bombers / Riding shotgun in the sky /And they were turning into butterflies / Above our nation...

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fatechica · 6 years ago

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100 Questions

Whee, I was tagged by @janes-mike and @dancingskygreen! This is a good distraction for while I’m sick, lmao.

1. What is your nickname? Jules or JP

2. How old are you? 34

3. What is your birth month? November

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color? Burgundy

6. What’s your lucky number? 1123, if pressed (it’s my birthday, lol)

7. Do you have any pets? I do! I have one cat who’s 15 years old and a curmudgeonly princess.

8. Where are you from? California (the SF area, to be precise, tho I live up in Sacramento, now)

9. How tall are you? 5′3

10. What shoe size are you? 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Ok, so I’m the person who buys shoes but never wears more than, like, 3 pairs ever? So, I have, like, 20 pairs of shoes and my husband gets so mad that I mostly never wear them.

12. Are you random? What does this even mean? No? I feel like I’m too logical to be random.

13. Last person you texted? My friend about how awful my voice sounds rn.

14. Are you psychic in any way? Nope, not in any way, shape, or form.

15. Last TV show watched? Requiem

16. Favorite movie? Empire Records and Pacific Rim

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Out of this World (god, aging myself. does anyone here even know that show?)

18. Do you want children? Maybe? I still don’t know the answer to this question (and, as my mother likes to remind me, the end of my fertile years is coming up, so time may answer that question for me)

19. Do you want a church wedding? Haha, already married and we did not have a church wedding

20. What is your religion? I’m agnostic, but my husband is Buddhist, so...also Buddhist?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? yes. the last time was when I sprained my elbow so bad I lost feeling in my fingers

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Haha, NO

23. How is life? Eh? It’s ok rn. I’m sick and I have work tomorrow, but otherwise pretty good

24. Baths or showers? Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? Haha, socks? LOL, no. It was 100 degrees today and I don’t like having my feet covered even when it’s cold.

26. Have you ever been famous? Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yeah, no, no thank you. I like the anonymity

28. What type of music do you like? I’m a musician, so the answer is “everything”. Like, you hit shuffle on my iphone and you’re just as likely to hit Beethoven’s Sonatas as you are Notorious B.I.G. and everything in between. I’m the least partial to country, if I had to pick something I didn’t like (or, at least, don’t often listen to).

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yep!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I can’t fall asleep any other way but on my stomach, but I often wake up on my back, which is hilarious since I can’t fall asleep like that at all.

32. How big is your house? idk, normal size-ish? Like, 2000 square feet? We have a large lot, so it feels bigger than it really is.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cereal (I’m a whore for cereal)

34. Have you ever left the country? Yes! Last time was a couple of years ago when the husband and I went to Puerto Vallarta

35. Have you ever tried archery? I have, back in summer camp ages ago (and, also, I could try it again any time I want since my husband does archery and there’s an archery target set up in our backyard. imagine my complete lack of surprise when he came home with 4 hay bales and was like “babe, i’m gonna build a target!”)

36. Do you like anyone? Lol, I’m married, so I sure hope so!

37. Favorite swear word? Hands down, it’s “fuck”. I use it all the time.

38. When do you fall asleep? Around midnight if I’m being good.

39. Do you have any scars? Yeah, I was a really active kid and got in a lot of scrapes and whatnot. My most notable one is the scar on my chin from where I split it open and had to get stitches.

40. Sexual orientation? Pretty straight.

41. Are you a good liar? Fortunately or unfortunately, yes.

42. What languages would you like to learn? I want to learn German and Mandarin, and I seriously need to re-learn Japanese and Spanish (I used to be mostly fluent in both).

43. Top 10 songs? Oh shit, uh...crap. Pass on answering this question unless you want me here all night figuring this shit out.

44. Do you like your country? I’m in America and...in theory, yes. At the moment? NO.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Oh yeah, absolutely!

46. What is your personality type? I’m super extroverted and assertive and headstrong (my MBTI is ESTJ and I have never related to a personality type SO STRONGLY).

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw

48. Can you curl your tongue? Nope

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Um, since most of my friends here are in the ST fandom, let’s go with that and, in that universe, I’d have to say Mike Wheeler. His sense of responsibility and knack of putting everyone else ahead of him is something I relate to so very much.

50. Left or right handed? Left

51. Are you scared of spiders? I have legit arachnophobia.

52. Favorite food? Macaroni and cheese (I’m such white fucking trash)

53. Favorite foreign food? Pho or (and I’m cursing my inability to add accent marks here) Bun Thit Nuong Cha Gio, which is vermicelli noodles with bbq pork, eggrolls, veggies, and fish sauce and it’s so good (ok, i’m craving it now) (also, lol, can you tell my husband’s Vietnamese, or what?)

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Dude, I’m messy as fuck.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Figure out what it’s like to pee standing up.

56. What color underwear? Like, right now, or in general? Because the answer to right now is “nothing” (because i’m in my pjs and i don’t wear underwear to sleep), but in general, black because i don’t like having to match anything.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 15-20 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? Situationally, yes. Like, when it comes to things I’m good at, oh hell yes.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck. I have an oral fixation.

60. Do you talk to yourself? All the damn time.

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yep!

62. Are you a good singer? I like to think that I am.

63. Biggest Fears? Spiders and the depth of the ocean (what’s down there?!?!?!)

64. Are you a gossip? Haha, yes.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Oh yeah.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Medium-ish? It goes right past my shoulders, so I guess on the shorter end.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I can.

68. Favorite school subject? Math

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Extrovert!

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, but I want to so bad.

71. What makes you nervous? Not being able to live up to expectations.

72. Are you scared of the dark? No, I love the dark. I have really good night vision.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? All the time. I’m annoying that way.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, yes I am (unfortunately)

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Nope...at least, not on purpose.

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes!

77. Have you ever drank underage? God, all the time.

78. Have you ever done drugs? Yes, but only pot.

79. What do you fantasize about? Having the freedom to travel and do what I want without having to worry about money.

80. How many piercings do you have? Three on each ear (though I’m planning on getting a cartilage piercing soon).

81. Can you roll your R’s? Lol, I only took 10 years of Spanish, so I certainly hope so.

82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? Um, I average about a 13 minute mile, so not super fast.

84. What color is your hair? Auburn-red

85. What color are your eyes? Hazel

86. What are you allergic to? Mold and mildew

87. Do you keep a journal? Haha, I gave up that ghost years ago. The closest I get to that is this blog.

88. Are you depressed about anything? Not particularly at the moment (though I suffer from anxiety and that can quickly turn into depression if I don’t watch it)

89. Do you like your age? I do, I think. I can’t say I didn’t wish I was in my late 20s again, mostly because there’s the pressure to have done certain things by the time you’re in your mid-30s (like, have kids and whatnot), but I certainly don’t feel my age most of the time, so *shrugs*

90. What makes you angry? When people aren’t given a fair shot, or unfairly treated. I’m real big on equity of respect and it makes me so angry when I see people getting treated like shit or disrespected (bigots and racists and misogynists really piss me off). In that same vein, people not doing their fair share of the work also really piss me off.

91. Do you like your own name? Yeah, I do. I mean, I’ve had it for 34 years.

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? thankfully, no.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I think, if I have kids, I want a girl.

94. What talents do you have? I’m a fast and adaptive learner and I have a near photographic memory.

95. Sun or moon? Sun.

96. How did you get your name? Ok, I’ve asked this question and the only answer I can get from my mom is “I don’t know, your dad and I just liked the name.”

97. Are you religious? I like to consider myself a spiritual person, but I’m not particularly religious. I’m fascinated by religiosity and tradition and I like participating in religious ceremonies, but I don’t know if I believe in a religion enough to be religious.

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes, I have. I developed anxiety a few years ago and I saw a therapist for a few months to help with my issues.

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue and turquoise dots.

100. Color of your room? Grey

Alright, then, I tag.... @mikeywheelerr, @formerlyjannafaye, @el-and-hop, and @linachupi

#whee!#this was fun!#i like answering questions about myself #i'm an open book

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hailridge · 6 years ago

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The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019

The end of the year is a time to look back and evaluate all that transpired in the previous 12 months, and though the internet is littered with “best of” lists, let’s be honest: a decent share of our assessments are based in regret—things that could have happened, that nearly happened, but in the end did not. Or, worse, terrible things that completely go against our greatest hopes. A year gone by is a graveyard. But the year ahead? That’s a sown field! Anything could happen, anything could grow, and it is far more fun to look forward with optimism than to look back in judgment.

So now that the calendar has flipped, let’s put an end to our sad reconciliations with 2018, and let our imaginations run wild. What follows are the 10 greatest things that could happen in golf in the coming year. Will they all transpire? Will any of them? The answer is, you can’t prove that they won’t.

1. There will be at least one incredible final round duel at a major Like it or not, golf is the most anticlimactic spectator sport, and the major finishes we got in 2018 were typical. Rory McIlroy blowing up at Augusta and brief salvos from Jordan Spieth and Rickie Fowler fizzing out; Brooks Koepka snuffing out the field at the U.S. Open; Spieth laying a Sunday egg and nobody rising to Francesco Molinari’s challenge at the Open; Koepka snuffing out the field at the PGA. Real drama, good drama, is a rare commodity. The last really good two-man duel we had was probably Henrik Stenson vs. Phil Mickelson, but this year, let’s hope for even more. Let’s hope for something Arnie and Jack never quite gave us, and ditto for Tiger and Phil. Let’s hope the two best players in the world, whoever they are, face off in a Sunday showdown that lives up to and exceeds the hype.

2. Bryson DeChambeau will win a major championship It’s time to face reality: Aside from Tiger Woods—who holds the title in perpetuity—Bryson DeChambeau is the most exciting person in golf right now. With Rory smack in the middle of his “pick-your-favorite-polite-synonym-for-choking” phase, and Spieth still mired in his technical woes, DeChambeau is the man who could rescue us from the Koepka doldrums. What sets him apart is that he has the game and the personality—he’s part brilliant scientist, part egotist, part snake-oil salesman, and all showman. He loves the stage, and judging by the polarizing reactions he provokes, the stage loves him back. It would be terrific for golf if he broke through at a major in 2019.

3. Tiger Woods will win a major championship Well, yeah.

4. One of the new “Big Four” will win another major A lot of major talk, I know! But majors really tend to overshadow everything else, especially in a non-Ryder Cup year, so you’ll have to deal with it. Earlier this year, I calculated that there are four young(ish) players with a faint-yet-not-entirely-unrealistic hope of reaching the vaunted 10 major mark: Koepka, Spieth, McIlroy and Justin Thomas. If you believe as I do that golf is better when familiar faces are winning majors, and better yet when at least one or two is chasing some kind of historical mark, than you should want one of these guys to take home another trophy.

5. The USGA will somehow top themselves in the “infuriate everyone” department Watching professional golfers rage against the USGA for the most petty grievances imaginable is one of my favorite annual pastimes, and Phil Mickelson’s performance-art piece on the 13th green on Saturday last June at Shinnecock Hills (Title: “The Funniest Way For a Rich Guy to Pout”) was a highlight not just of that year, but any year. It will be incredibly disappointing if the USGA doesn’t up the ante. And frankly, driving a handful of whiners to say “they’ve lost the course” in their most solemn tones isn’t good enough. I want disappearing holes, or six-foot greens, or birds that are trained to pick up errant balls and fly them back to the tee. I want Mike Davis in a jester’s cap, dancing a jig on a raised platform every time a four-foot putt runs 15 feet past. Embrace your identity, USGA!

6. The International Team will win the Presidents Cup The obvious reasoning behind this is that the Presidents Cup is a bore, it’s not going to be fun until the U.S. stops dominating. Unfortunately, that seems surpassingly unlikely since language barriers on the International side make a mockery of any “team” concept for the “rest of the world”. But I have another selfish reason I’d like to see the Americans stumble: the U.S. needs to hit rock bottom before it can start winning Ryder Cups, and in hindsight, after the Paris debacle, Gleneagles 2014 looks more and more like a false rock bottom. Everything that happened since has been band-aids on a massive festering wound, and until the wound itself is addressed (hint: it’s going to involve a ton of soul-searching and revolves around how we, as a country, conceive of team events in golf), history is just going to repeat itself. Which makes me an accelerationist, I guess, but my motive is genuine: let’s make the reality of team play unbearable until somebody has to fix the problem.

7. The U.S. will not suffer another Ryder Cup defeat I need at least one thing on this list to come true, OK. This is not cheating, this is preparing for success.

8. The new PGA Tour schedule is going to work out amazingly for everyone Seriously, I really think it will! The only real problem for the majors was that the PGA Championship lacked a bit of prestige, and from decent slogans like “glory’s last shot” to achingly desperate ones like “this is major!”, nothing really caught on. However, the PGA’s move to May is genius—nobody’s burned out on golf, you can ride those sweet Masters tailwinds, and your stock inevitably goes up … right? No other big tournament suffers for it, either, and in fact the Players benefits from getting to go first. At a time when professional sports leagues seem to be in a constant state of foot-in-mouth, it’s weirdly thrilling to see PGA Tour absolutely nail it, and I hope it’s as good in reality as it looks in conception.

9. Someone extremely cool will emerge Maybe it’s Cam Champ? I don’t know, but I’m longing for a dynamic figure to throw down the gauntlet this year. Some combination of Tiger and Miguel Angel Jimenez, but young. Someone like we momentarily thought Brooks Koepka might be, until he turned out be either boring or resentful, depending on the day. Someone like Sergio, but without the debilitating neuroses. Someone like Phil, but with an ounce of impulse control. You get the point.

10. The “ball goes too far” brigade will be slightly less tiresome Look, I’m not saying they don’t have a point. But it’s a little like complaining about how the Internet has destroyed society in 2019—you’re absolutely right, but you’re also years and years too late. Nothing’s changing now, amigos! You’re the proverbial old man yells at cloud meme! Enjoy the bombs!

Source: golfdigest.com

The post The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019 appeared first on Hail Ridge Golf Course.

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noblesvilleparks · 6 years ago

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The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019

3. Tiger Woods will win a major championship Well, yeah.

7. The U.S. will not suffer another Ryder Cup defeat I need at least one thing on this list to come true, OK. This is not cheating, this is preparing for success.

Source: golfdigest.com

The post The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019 appeared first on Fox Prairie Golf Course & Forest Park Golf Course.

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culbertsonhillsgr · 6 years ago

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The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019

3. Tiger Woods will win a major championship Well, yeah.

7. The U.S. will not suffer another Ryder Cup defeat I need at least one thing on this list to come true, OK. This is not cheating, this is preparing for success.

Source: golfdigest.com

The post The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019 appeared first on Culbertson Hills.

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sherwoodforestgolf · 6 years ago

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The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019

3. Tiger Woods will win a major championship Well, yeah.

7. The U.S. will not suffer another Ryder Cup defeat I need at least one thing on this list to come true, OK. This is not cheating, this is preparing for success.

Source: golfdigest.com

The post The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019 appeared first on Sherwood Forest.

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melodyhillcc · 6 years ago

Text

The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019

3. Tiger Woods will win a major championship Well, yeah.

7. The U.S. will not suffer another Ryder Cup defeat I need at least one thing on this list to come true, OK. This is not cheating, this is preparing for success.

Source: golfdigest.com

The post The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019 appeared first on Melody Hill.

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dudleyhillgc · 6 years ago

Text

The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019

3. Tiger Woods will win a major championship Well, yeah.

7. The U.S. will not suffer another Ryder Cup defeat I need at least one thing on this list to come true, OK. This is not cheating, this is preparing for success.

Source: golfdigest.com

The post The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019 appeared first on Dudley Hill.

0 notes

turnberrycountryclub · 6 years ago

Text

The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019

3. Tiger Woods will win a major championship Well, yeah.

7. The U.S. will not suffer another Ryder Cup defeat I need at least one thing on this list to come true, OK. This is not cheating, this is preparing for success.

Source: golfdigest.com

The post The 10 Greatest Things That Could Happen in Golf in 2019 appeared first on Turnberry Country Club.

0 notes

cksmart-world · 5 years ago

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The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

by Christopher Smart

Aug. 6, 2019

PROFILES IN COURAGE ON GUN VIOLENCE

Utah Sen. Mitt Romney stepped up in the wake of mass shootings in California, Texas and Ohio, saying there is no excuse to shy away from seeking solutions that could include legislation. “This will require courage,” he told the Deseret News. He added that it should be states, not the federal government, to pass such laws. That, ladies and gentlemen is real courage. And Utah Rep. Chris Stewart is “heartbroken” and “angry.” He, too, is taking a strong stand against “evil.” Movies, TV and video games are making our society to violent, Stewart said. He backs legislation that would take weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill, who buy most of the assault rifles in this country. Another courageous stand by the Utah congressional delegation. Sen. Mike Lee was reportedly hiding under his desk again and was not available for comment. But Congressman Rob Bishop was front and center with some answers: “Now is the time for prayer.” He also condemned those who exploit such tragedies for political gain by demanding background checks and a ban on assault weapons. That folks is real courage. And that is why we are awarding Romney, Lee, Stewart and Bishop the coveted Smart Bomb Ribbon of Duplicity and Cynicism. Great Americans all.

The Missing Amendment

OK, here's the deal — the Founding Fathers didn't imagine that people elected to the Senate or the House would be career politicians. It just turned out that way. And for those who get elected to Congress these days, the worst possible thing is to lose an election. Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, et al. also did not predict Citizen United — that money is speech and that corporations are people. But, that's the way it is. Fighting off the British army with farmers and store clerks, the Founders came up with the 2nd Amendment so that everyone could have a musket. They had no idea that any idiot would be able to buy assault weapons that can kill dozens of people per minute. But that's the way it is. What our founders endeavored to do was set down a Constitution that provided a general framework for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that would be timeless. That, however, depended upon people putting the country and its democracy ahead of political and personal gain. And that's where they screwed up — they didn't take into account the self-serving bastards that would come to inhabit Washington D.C. You’re right, Wilson, we could sure use an amendment for that.

The Party of Lincoln

What a great legacy. Republicans like to call themselves the “Party of Lincoln” on account of one of our greatest presidents was an early member of the Republican Party. As most (but apparently not all) Americans know, Lincoln fought the Civil War to end slavery (among other things). He then pushed the 14th Amendment — equal protection under the law for all people. Flash forward 100 years when President Lyndon Johnson, a Democrat, pushed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The South, practically over night, switched to be dominated by Republicans. Richard Nixon called it his “Southern Strategy” to use race to win the election. Since then, Republicans have worked diligently against equal rights for African Americans (except black athletes 'cause they're fun to watch). But it's not racial prejudice, you see, they just don't want black people to vote in November or live in their neighborhoods or attend the local public school. Separate but equal; that's the ticket. Make no mistake, they are still the Party of Lincoln, 'cause they have so many things in common with our 16th president. It's just that none come to mind right now.

Man, was that a bad week, or what. The staff here at Smart Bomb is so bummed out, they don't even know which drugs to take. In the end, according to Wilson and the band, the important thing is to make sure you take enough of whatever it is. Not that we're promoting drug and alcohol use. We would never do that and President Trump is the least racist person in the world. At this point, it's hard to know what to do. But the world keeps on turning. It's not funny, but death and devastation here at home hurts worse than, say, all the suffering in Syria. So it goes.

OK, Wilson, pick it: How many times must a man look up / Before he can see the sky? / And how many ears must one man have / Before he can hear people cry? / And how many deaths will it take 'til he knows / That too many people have died? / The answer my friend / is blowin’ in the wind / The answer is blowin’ in the wind...

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airadam · 7 years ago

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Episode 96 : A City United

"It's not the world, it's the people in it..."

- LaPeace

What a month it has ended up being. Manchester suffered a terrible blow, and the figurative reverberations will be felt for a long time to come. It has been something to see how people have come together in the wake of the attack, and hopefully that spirit is something that can be carried forward.

While I wasn't able to completely re-do this month's show, I hope it's a pleasant listen for anyone who has the time to give it an ear. Amongst this episode's tracks we have a couple of Manchester tunes, some beautiful instrumentals, and an uplifting ending. Enjoy.

Twitter: @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Kendrick Lamar : DNA

"I got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA". Absolute fire. The Mike Will Made-It beat is dark and banging and from the very first line, Kendrick is on point. A beast of a track from the new, appropriately-titled album "DAMN." Definitely worth checking the video starring Don Cheadle too!

[Lex Luger] Kid Ink : Blackout (Instrumental)

I was struggling to find an instrumental in my library to fit in here but then thought about which producers might have something to fit, and Lex Luger, Mr."Hard In Da Paint", was my first idea. To be honest, I went to go and have a listen to the Kid Ink track and...I didn't rate it. All about the beat here, thanks to a mixtape of instrumentals on Datpiff!

Devin The Dude : Acoustic Levitation

Devin is a bit of a southern legend, starting off with Odd Squad and Facemob before commencing a long solo career. He's noted for bringing his sense of humour to his music, but that's not the vibe on this cut, the title track from his ninth solo LP. It's a fairly serious number with Devin in reflective mood about the world over a beat produced by his old Odd Squad running mate Rob Quest, who cooks up a solid 808 groove.

Children of Zeus : I Want You

The first time I heard this, I stomped over to DJ Chris E and demanded (ok, not like that ;) ) he tell me what it was immediately! It had only just been released on the CoZ Soundcloud account, and I got my download as soon as I got back home. This is a bodywork-rattling, baby-making slow jam out of Manchester that deserves all the listens. Vocally, it's a Tyler Daly solo, and as much as I love the lead vocal I think his backing styles on the hook put this one over the top.

Dr Dre ft. Jill Scott, Jon Connor, and Anderson .Paak : For The Love Of Money

One of my highlights from Dr Dre's "Compton" LP, a piece inspired by "Foe Tha Love Of Money" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. This has some of the foremost soul vocalists of recent-ish times taking a starring role, with Jill Scott bringing the gentleness and Anderson contributing a rougher tone. The origins of the track are that it was the first beat made by New Jersey native Cardiak when he moved to Los Angeles, and Jon Connor heard it and wrote his lyrics to it - it was only after that that it found its way to Dre for it to become what you hear now.

MC Eiht : Just Lean

This Compton veteran has carved out a long career, and it's amazing to think that "Affiliated" is his eleventh solo album. Add that to the Compton's Most Wanted LPs, and you have someone who deserves a ton of respect. He's not talking about anything super complex on this weed anthem, but he does definitely slip in some clever references - Ice Cube and UGK, to name but two. The longtime CMW producer Tha Chill collaborates with the D&B producer DJ Subflo for an eerie, creeping track with those echoing snares adding to the dissociative feel.

UNKLE : 24 Frames (Redux)

I can't remember how I exactly found this one - I hadn't been up-to-date with UNKLE's output after the "Psyence Fiction" album, but heard this orchestral killer on Spotify and have been dying to find a place to slot it into the show for months!

Count Bass D : Subwoofer (Dumile)

Somewhere right now, Count Bass D is making a beat. Crafting. Refining. He's sixteen solo albums in, not to mention EPs and compilations, but right here were back to his third, 2002's "Dwight Spitz", now available via Bandcamp. A tribute to the fallen DJ Subroc of KMD and also paying homage to Hip-Hop luminaries of times past, this is almost certainly my favourite tune on the LP. For a little listening detail, check how the drum pattern changes up on the approach to the hook, doubling up on the kicks and snares - very nicely done.

Mothership Connection : Space Junkin'

Manchester's Mothership Connection have been doing a stack of live appearances over the past few years, but as they're a collective of solo artists and member of other groups, it's taken a while for them to release their own product. we finally have their debut EP, "This Train Goes To Junkleberry Junction". All tracks are produced by Mankub, and this one is on a bit of an Apollo 13 vibe while the crew of MCs spill lyrics all over the equipment!

Ilajide ft. Propaine : In The House

The man behind the beats for Clear Soul Forces stays producing quality material. This particular piece is on the "Five Week Heet III" Bandcamp release, and after the quiet intro groove (hard to hear on the mix in/out, actually) it just thumps along. I definitely need to hear this man doing extra work outside the camp. Actually, how about Ilajide and Camp Lo...?

J Dilla ft. LaPeace, Moe Dirdee, & Seven The General : Say My Name

One of those songs that pops into my head fairly regularly but which I don't play even for myself as much as it deserves. Nothing esoteric here, just dope rhymes over an old Dilla beat - that's enough. Catch this on the "Rebirth Of Detroit" album.

The ARE : Midnight (Instrumental)

It's been a while since our last visit, but we return to The ARE's reworking of samples used by A Tribe Called Quest on the "Midnight Marauders" LP. This one is a re-imagining of one of my favourites, but crashing along with a vibe of its own :)

Ka : Up Against Goliath

I was having a listen to Ka's brilliant "Grief Pedigree" this month and found myself rewinding this track. It may at one level be a song about the street game, it could be an anthem for anyone up against the odds. DJs, for full thematic effect you could follow this with UGK's "Pocket Full Of Stones", which is also pretty close speed wise too. #yourewelcome

Damian Marley & Nas : Friends

It's been a while since "Distant Relatives" was released, and every so often a song gets shortlisted for the podcast before getting dropped at the last minute. This time though, it makes the cut. It's not often that Nas doesn't put in the best lyrical performance of all the vocalists on a track he appears on, but I think Damian's performance is superior here! Damian also handles the production, which is well-done, except that the periodic sloppiness on the two and four beats makes it sound like yours truly is making mixing mistakes :)

Yusef Rumperfield : Sparklin

From the Tall Black Guy Productions label come the instrumental stylings of Yusef Rumperfield on his "Jazz In Motion" album. I picked this chilled-out number because sometimes, there's no room for words.

Portishead : It Could Be Sweet

An old favourite from Portishead's debut "Dummy". Beth Gibbons' heartfelt scratchy-throated vocals go nicely on top of the drum machine beat and some subtle keyboards.

Air : High Point

The B-side to the "Once Upon A Time" single, and once again proving Chuck D right about the flip side, this is a beautiful instrumental.

Thundercat ft. Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald : Show You The Way

A great song to end on, and one I've been playing over and over since I bought Thundercat's "Drunk" album. This bassist, producer, and singer is a really unique gem, and as is somehow befitting of a man who's worked with artists as different as Suicidal Tendencies and Kendrick Lamar, he's a lover of the R&B-infused jazz fusion styles of the 70s and 80s. When Kenny Loggins called him up to say that he and Michael McDonald would be interested in collaborating, he rightly flipped out! The combination on this uplifting cut is a straight classic to me, and I think with the pain of the last month, this is a fitting place to close the episode.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

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endofleasecleaningmelbourne2017 · 8 years ago

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End of Lease Cleaning Melbourne Review

Individuals with disabilities often have difficulty obtaining competitive employment due to the nature of their disabilities. For best end of lease cleaning follow the link.

Others may not be able to work a regular full-time job because it may negatively impact their disability benefits. However, there are programs available that provide opportunities to obtain meaningful work with little to no impact on disability benefits. In Virginia, the two primary forms of vocational assistance are Pre-Vocational Services and Supported Employment. These services are funded through Medicaid Intellectual Disability Waiver or through the Virginia Department for Aging and Rehabilitative Services (DARS).

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Hey Andy. Well trucks in general shake more than normal cars. If you have off road tires and tight suspension, it'll definitely bounce and shake while driving down the road. If you got the shocks changed and it's still shaking a lot, you could simple things like getting your tires balanced and making sure the alignment is proper. Other than that, since it's such a new vehicle, I wouldn't think that there's anything broken with it that would cause it to shake like that.

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