#and Liara's muse just /perks up a bit/
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lurks. ever-so-quietly. i’ve been given the temptation to write here again—wheeze. though, i’ll probably be @risensung, more or less.
#ANONYMOUS ;; what lies beyond; we cannot know ( OOC. )#I've been sent all these wonderful things#and ideas#and you all are still lovely aoihgaighadlkhga#and Liara's muse just /perks up a bit/
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I’m sorry...
for not posting about my muses - Zhara and Liara. I know this blog should be primarily about them and it is but I feel like I need to talk and get things off my chest and maybe explain a few things, because I know a few of my followers/friends have been questioning me about changed behavior and a lack of activity on FFXIV.
The truth is that I’ve felt depressed for at least a few months... if I had to give a month I would say maybe it started around September or October. It’s normal for me to have these depressive episodes. Sometimes I’d feel depressed for a few weeks but I’d perk back up again. What worries me is that it’s gone on much longer than a few weeks.
Aside from the state of the world and constantly hearing bad news in the media everywhere I turn, I feel empty and worthless. My grandma recently fell down and broke three ribs and punctured her lung. The only reason I found out about her condition was because I asked her doctor. I can’t really rely on my uncle, who is her next of kin because he wants to keep secrets from the entire family about grandma’s condition. He’s also lied and sugar coated things in the past.
Other than that, I don’t really know what to do with my life. Like I said, I feel empty, with no meaning. It feels like life is pointless. Not much has really made me happy except roleplay, writing, and my animals. I did start volunteering for a cat rescue which has cheered me up a little bit. They’re even considering giving me a full time job, which is a little exciting but that’s all I really have going for me.
RP wise I feel terrible and worthless. I roleplayed on WoW for five years and back then I was very confident with my writing, I was a DM for my RP guild and my guild mates were super happy with my story archs... at least that’s what they told me. When I transferred over to FFXIV... it felt like I changed into a completely different league. In my observation, what was considered to be a hardcore roleplayer on WoW was a casual roleplayer on FFXIV.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my good times on FFXIV and I’ve met a lot of nice people in the community but there had been times where I just didn’t feel cut out for the roleplay community. Compared to other roleplayers, who are amazing writers I felt and still feel lesser than them. I have rapidly changed from a confident roleplayer who viewed them self as experienced and knowledgeable to a roleplayer who’s lesser and down on the totem pole.
Like I said, I’m sorry about writing about all of this but it’s made me better to put my thoughts and feelings down on a blog post. And I’m sorry I’m not coming on Final Fantasy as often, maybe with winter break I’ll do so more often. I hope you all have happy holidays and a merry Starlight! Peace - Sapphire Skylines
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A distracting kiss for your ME3 darlings?
Pairing: Kaidan/Shepard/Ashley (Willshenko)Prompt: ‘A Distracting Kiss’
I’m going to interpret ‘ME3 darlings’ as this beautiful poly trio here, since they are currently the loves of my trilogy life~ Also this one ended up being over twice a long as I’m trying to keep them.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
EDIT: 5-16-17, revamped and rewrote it a bit.AO3 Link
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“Dr. Chakwas told me Shepard skipped dinner again,” Kaidan says as he steps into the Normandy’s elevator alongside Ashley, and he hears her sigh as she hits the button that would take them up to the captain’s quarters with more force than usual. She’s clearly annoyed, probably just as annoyed as Kaidan is worried, but it’s the kind that she gets only when she worries about John, and though she’s loathed to admit it, she’s not nearly as good at keeping some of her emotions in check as Kaidan is, especially when to came to their partner and commander.
“That’s at least two days in a row then..” Ashley muses, brow furrowing as she looks over at him. “Have you seen him at all since they got back from Rannoch?” He hadn’t, and Kaidan lets out a soft sigh as he shakes his head.
“Only in passing,” he tells her, and Ashley’s frown deepens. At first Kaidan didn’t understand it; he’d thought Rannoch had been a success. John had done what so many in the galaxy had thought impossible and ended a war that had lasted centuries, spiting all the naysayers in the process. Peace had been brokered between the Quarians and the Geth, a somewhat shaky peace, with many wounds still needing to be healed and trust to be earned to both sides, but it was a victory nonetheless.
Yet they’d barely seen any sign of John since he returned to the Normandy yesterday afternoon, and Garrus and Tali both came back with him a little quieter than usual they hadn’t voiced any pressing concerns about Shepard to him or Ashley. They’d returned to their usual work stations, John had gone into the comm room to make his reports to Admiral Hackett, and since then he’d largely stayed holed up in his quarters, aside from a brief trip to take out some low-level Cerberus lab earlier that day, but even then he’d taken James and Liara with him instead of either of them.
“Ash.. You don’t think he’s avoiding us, do you?” Kaidan asks with worry as soon as the thought crosses his mind. Beside him Ashley frowns, and looks thoughtful for just a moment before she shakes her head and reaches over to give Kaidan’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze.
“Actually, I think this might be about Legion,” she answers, and Kaidan blinks as it clicks in his mind. He recalls Shepard’s geth companion, who’d sacrificed itself in the end to ensure the peace between Tali’s people and its own had a chance. Neither he nor Ashley had known Legion very well, but Kaidan knew enough to know that John must’ve still been feeling the loss, and though Kaidan didn’t like to admit it, John tended to keep the two of them at arm’s length for a day or so whenever he lost another ally. He’d already lost Thane, Mordin, and now Legion..
Kaidan feels some of the loss of that particular Geth unit himself despite the fact that they’d practically been strangers. Legion had been there for Shepard, fighting alongside him and the rest of his ragtag team against the Collectors when he and Ashley hadn’t, after all.. It was one of the few regrets still bothering him to this day, and Kaidan felt that he owed all of Shepard’s companions from that suicide mission a debt, and now there was one more casualty he’d never be able to repay.
“..Kaidan?”
He blinks as he becomes aware that Ashley is talking, and he turns his head to see her watching him with a look of concern. She reaches up to cup his left cheek and Kaidan leans into it with a soft sigh, a small smile tugging at his mouth when he feels her gently brush her thumb under his eye.
“You okay over there, LT?” she asks before giving him a small smile. “Should I start worrying about both of you?”
“I’m all right Ash, I’m just.. I’m worried about John,” Kaidan sighs, “You know how he can get when he’s stressed, or mourning.”
Ashley sighs quietly as she nods in understanding, being the only other person aside from Kaidan who frequently saw John at his lowest, but then she smiles over at Kaidan and leans in to press a warm kiss to his lips. He leans into it immediately, eyes closing at the soft contact of her lips, and he lets out a quiet noise of protest when she draws back, his mouth momentarily trying to chase hers. Ashley’s still smiling at him when he opens his eyes, looking away only when the elevator door slides open.
“That’s why we’re here, LT,” Ashley replies, giving his butt a playful swat before she walks out into the short hallway between the elevator and the captain’s quarters, and Kaidan shakes his head, smiling to himself as he follows her. He’s a little surprised when the door slides open at their close proximity; he’d half-expected it to be locked so maybe that was a good sign?
The room is dark though, with most of the light coming from the massive fish tank, and even that seemed to be set on the dimmest setting.
John’s sitting at his desk with his back to them. He perks up a little at the sound of his door opening but doesn’t look up from the array of data pads spread out in front of him, and Kaidan can see that most of them are reports regarding the war efforts on Palaven and Tuchanka. He exchanges a concerned look with Ashley before they stride further into the room, coming to a stop behind John’s seat, and when John finally looks back at them it’s just a brief, distracted glance.
A soft grunt is all the greeting that he gives them before his attention is back on the data pad. He looks exhausted, like he’d done nothing all day but read over the incoming casualty and damage reports. Which, knowing John, was exactly what he’d been doing.
Ashley frowns, more displeased about the state John was in than she is about the lack of his attention. She moves over to stand on John’s right side while Kaidan stays put on the left, and their commander lets out a noise of discontent when Ashley leans down to pull his data pad out of his hands, dropping it unceremoniously onto the desk.
“I’m trying to work,” John huffs, but there’s no real heat behind his words. No noticeable energy of any kind behind it, actually; he sounds like he’s running on fumes at this point, and Kaidan can feel the tension in his body as he reaches down to rub a hand along John’s shoulders. John frowns, reaching for his data pad again, and sighs when this time Kaidan pushes it further away from him. “You two ganging up on me now?”
“Only when you make us, Skipper,” Ashley replies promptly, her hand brushing against Kaidan’s as she reaches over to gently rub at John’s stiff shoulders as well. “C’mon, you’ve been up here for hours staring at these things. You need to give yourself a break.”
“I can’t, I need to finish-” John starts to argue but his words are cut off when Ashley leans down, pressing her lips to his in a slow but demanding kiss, and Kaidan smiles a little when he sees John immediately melting into it in spite of his interrupted protests. A few beats pass before Ashley breaks the kiss, and though John’s eyes still flicker over towards his discarded reports Kaidan feels the tension in his shoulders loosen just a little under his hand.
“You need to relax..” Ashley says, her eyes flicking over to Kaidan. John follows her gaze, just barely meeting Kaidan’s eyes before he’s leaning forward too, capturing John’s mouth in a soft kiss of his own. John lets out a soft breath through his nose, becoming more receptive to the kiss as the seconds pass, and Kaidan feels him brush his hand against his hip before settling onto his lower back.
Kaidan hums softly as he holds the kiss for a few long moments, one hand coming up to trace along the stubbled curve of his commander’s jaw, and he’s so tempted to deepen the kiss further before he finally breaks it and draws his head back, watching through hooded eyes as Ashley cups two fingers under the commander’s chin, turning his head back towards her and claiming his mouth once more.
Kaidan loves it when they do this, and smiles to himself as the two of them go back and forth over the course of the next few minutes, their kisses with John ranging from slow and steady to rough and heated, and John’s protests are long since forgotten by all three of them as he whimpers and groans into their mouths. Ashley traces a hand along John’s chest, nails grazing him through the fabric of his thin shirt and causing him to actually growl against her mouth, while Kaidan’s hand cups the back of John’s head when it’s his turn, controlling the angle to make their kisses that much better.
He doesn’t know how long their shared make-out lasts but Kaidan’s glad to see that John’s no longer paying attention to his reports, instead looking back and forth between the two of them with, cheeks just a little flushed and eyes visibly dilated.
It’s a damn good look on him.
Without taking their hands off of John, Kaidan and Ashley both straighten up, gazes meeting for a second before their lips crash together in a rough kiss of their own. He feels Ashley smile against his mouth, giving his lower lip a playful nip, and below them John lets out a soft groan. They draw away from each other, both smirking down at him.
“Cheaters..” John mumbles before Ashley’s mouth returns to his, but he’s smiling now as he lets himself get lost in another lazy kiss with her. Ashley breaks away from it long enough to meet Kaidan’s watchful gaze, giving him a pointed look as she gestures to John with her head, which Kaidan answers with an affirmative nod.
“Just think of it as us leveling the field,” Kaidan says as he moves around to stand directly behind John’s chair, his palms rubbing along the tops of John’s shoulders before he gives the stiff muscles a light squeeze, and the sudden groan it draws from John has both Kaidan and Ashley grinning.
“He’s right, Skipper,” Ashley purrs, kissing John between words. “We’ve gotta play dirty sometimes if we want to have a chance against that stubborn streak of yours.”
“I’m not stubb-” John starts before Ashley cuts him off again, and the kisses between are becoming noticeably more heated but Kaidan tries to focus on easing away John’s physical tensions rather than get too caught up in the show between his partners. Ashley, meanwhile, seems to notice that Kaidan is trying to keep himself focused so her kisses slow down, becoming shorter and almost chaste compared to her usual ones, the kind that leave both of her men panting for breath and dizzy from her taste.
Either way, she keeps John’s mouth occupied as Kaidan moves his hands lightly along the base of his neck, making slow but firm presses with his fingers that slowly move further out towards John’s upper arms before coming back in, and Kaidan alternates between his neck and shoulders, finding the spots with the most tension of focusing on them.
Each slow press and squeeze of his hands is drawing deep, content noises up from John’s chest. Kaidan sees Ashley smiling against his lips each time she hears one, and the combination of her pleased expression and John’s growing relaxation under their attention fills Kaidan’s chest with that deep warmth he only gets around the two of them, and he finds himself unable to keep a smile off his own face as he resumes his task.
The knots in John’s shoulders are numerous and stubborn but Ashley distracts him from any pains as Kaidan carefully works them away with his thumbs, though he does take the time to lean down and pepper some soft kisses along John’s neck and ear, and he feels another rush of satisfaction as John seems to melt under his touch, weeks of aches and tension being chased away, and as someone who received frequent head massages from the two of them Kaidan knows how good he must feel.
Finally, the massage is finished, and John breaks away from Ashley’s kissing to let out a deep sigh, sinking back into the seat. He looks a little dazed; lips beautifully swollen from the steady stream of kisses and a faint but visible blush still on his face, making the light freckles across his nose seem just a shade darker.
Kaidan smiles again, giving John’s shoulders one more satisfied rub, and he’s glad to feel that the stiffness and knots are gone now, and when he looks up at Ashley she’s beaming at him, maybe looking a bit self-satisfied with her own work but the affection for him still burns brightly in her eyes.
A light grip on his right wrist draws Kaidan’s attention back down to John, and he looks down in time to see him pulling Kaidan’s hand off of his shoulder and towards his face, pressing a few light kisses to his knuckles before he leans his head back, the top of his head brushing lightly against Kaidan’s stomach as he does, and there’s a new shine in those brilliant blue eyes of his as he looks up at the two of them.
“Thanks,” John says quietly, and he still sounds so tired but it’s different this time, like he’s sleepy now instead of just exhausted, and that was a huge difference when it came to their Shepard. “To both of you..”
“It’s not easy seeing you run yourself ragged, y’know,” Kaidan replies, reaching down to cup the left side of John’s face in his hand. John closes his eyes as he leans into his palm, and in this moment Kaidan can really see the weight that he was carrying in the furrow of his brow, and the tightness around his bagged eyes. But right now he wasn’t Commander Shepard, first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel and the galaxy’s greatest hope against the Reapers. No. Here, in this room, he was just John, their best friend, lover, commander, and everything else in between. “It’s good to know we can help.”
“You both do so much more than just ‘help’,” John replies, and there’s an unexpected rawness to his voice that makes both him and Ashley pause as John’s gaze darts back and forth between them. “I mean it, and it probably goes without say but.. I really don’t think I could do this without you two.”
Kaidan swallows, exchanging another glance with Ashley before both of them look back down at John, who almost appears a little bashful after his confession. Kaidan wouldn’t say it out loud, lest it sound like he was mocking what was really a deep moment between them, but the semi-embarrassed look on John’s face was rather cute, and Kaidan knows that he and Ashley both fall a little harder in love with this man.
“You won’t have to, Skipper,” Ashley finally says, giving John another kiss before drawing back so that Kaidan can do the same, cupping his other cheek as she does, and Kaidan feels John smile against his lips as he leans into both her touch and his kiss. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“Stuck with us ‘til the end, Shepard,” Kaidan agrees, giving John’s lips another soft kiss before he wraps an arm around John’s shoulders, and beside him Ashley does the same thing, both of them bringing their boyfriend into a warm hug, and John lets out another content noise as Kaidan slips his other arm around Ashley’s waist, pulling her closer to both of them and letting their embrace become even snugger.
They’d get John over to the bed eventually, convince him that going back to his reports could wait a few hours since they hadn’t come in through any emergency channels, or that they’d just read over them in John’s absence while he tried to get some rest, but for the moment Kaidan is content to just stand there and take a moment to relax with the two loves of his life, soft sighs and gentle kisses still being shared between them.
He didn’t like to think about it, especially when he was enjoying a peaceful moment in their arms, but the reality was that Kaidan didn’t know how many of these moments the three of them had left and he wasn’t intending to waste a single one. He’d had enough regrets and missed opportunities for now.
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#MyMEFics#Willshenko#John Shepard#Ashley Williams#Kaidan Alenko#this is technically my first time writing these three together#thanks for the prompt! :D#fleetingshadowdm
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Ship Trash Get Away
“So how did you guys figure out about all of this?” Korra asked.
“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” Shepard replied.
“I dunno, I’ve been in the mood to believe just about anything since I got here.”
Shepard looked at Liara. “Well, you know those dumb messages you get sometimes? ‘You might already be a winner!’ You have those where you come from?”
“Something like it,” Asami said.
“Well, we finally opened one of those and it turned out to be a good idea. ‘Cause that’s how we got our passes.”
“Seriously? Ours showed up in my paperwork one morning,” Asami said.
“Ours was most likely sent more publically since we’d already inadvertently made use of their services,” Liara said. “As it turns out they create their portals between realities by suspending a crystal in a mass effect field, which we did by accident.”
Asami cocked her head. “A what field?”
“Mass ef…oh, you mustn’t have those in your world. Perhaps just not yet discovered?” Liara levitated her glass with her biotics.
“Wow! Mass effect…so it’s a field that lowers an objects apparent mass?” Asami asked.
“Yes! All asari have the ability to generate them. We call it ‘biotics.’”
“That’s amazing! The stuff I could do with that kind of technology. And the things you guys must have done!”
“Mmm we have, but you know the rules.”
“Yeah, I know, we can talk about what things are but not how they work. So frustrating.”
Shepard looked dreamily at her bondmate and rested her chin on her hand. “Look at our girls. So smart n’pretty,” she teased, tucking her arm around Liara’s and nuzzling her cheek.
“Haha! Don’t I know it,” Korra said, resting her head on Asami’s shoulder. Liara and Asami shared a look that clearly said “We love our dorks,” and gave them each a forehead kiss respectively.
“So we got our passes for saving our worlds. Don’t get me wrong, they’re amazing people but how did Lisa and Ally get in?” Asami said.
“I asked management. Turns out they’ve done a lot to inspire and enlighten people about kink. Most of that was across reality borders but that still counts,” Shepard said.
Korra and Asami nodded. “Honestly I’m just happy they’re here,” Korra said. “I’m happy everyone is, this place is amazing!”
Liara floated her glass into her hand and held it aloft “Here’s to new friends, and a wonderful vacation.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Asami said, picking up her own glass. They all brought their drinks together and took hearty pulls from them, pleased to be together and among heroes and friends. They were sitting together at a corner booth of the Great Crossroads bar. Rubart’s Interdimensional Coffee as it turned out was just a small part of The Resort, an establishment purpose built in a space between countless worlds as a place for heroes and heroines to relax in the company of their fellows. Jane, Liara, Lisa and Ally had happened upon it by accident during a shadow broker sanctioned experiment. A case of right place at the wrong time. As it turned out, they were to be invited there a short time later anyway.
The place was a veritable palace, a marvel of architecture and aesthetics on its own even before taking into account the surroundings. The sky in this odd crossroads location was a constantly changing aurora, and the area around it was sealed in a bubble, like a giant snow globe. The globe contained a body of shifting water, allowing for a sizeable beach around the outside of the main building. More than a few heroes had asked if they’d died and gone to heaven or Elysium or Valhalla or whatever their equivalent was when they first arrived.
The four set down their drinks “Met anyone else interesting here?” Shepard asked.
“There are a few people here talking to themselves,” Korra commented.
“Or at least to people who look a lot like them,” Asami added. Jane and Liara looked confused. Asami pointed to the nearest example: two young girls with black hair and blank expressions standing eyes level. One in a simple red dress, one wearing a tank top and jeans.
“Your appearance is identical…but, you’re…”
“You’re human.”
“And you’re not?”
“I’m a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over metal endoskeleton.”
“Fascinating.” The girl in the red dress craned her head this way and that, looking over her counterpart. “For what purpose were you constructed?”
“I’m a terminator unit. I am designed to infiltrate human settlements and assassinate specific targets.”
“But you’re here in a place meant for heroes? That doesn’t seem logical.”
“I was reprogrammed to defend a human. Since then I’ve developed considerably.”
“How can an artificial lifeform develop?”
“My central processing unit is a neural net processor a…”
“A learning computer.”
“The more I interact with humans the more I learn about them.”
“To make you a more efficient infiltration unit. But since you’ve been on a single mission to protect instead of kill you’ve become more human than ever intended.”
“Correct.”
“How do you account for the similarities between our forms?”
“In an infinite number of parallel universes all things are possible.”
“I know. I wanted to see if you had that kind of knowledge stored.”
The other cocked her head. “I’m called Cameron.”
“River Tam.”
A woman with long brown hair wearing a jumpsuit walked over to stand beside River. “Hey River and…uh…Riveeeer…?”
“Her name is Cameron, she’s a killer cyborg,” River said.
“Uuuuuhuh…”
“You get used to it after a while,” said a woman who looked remarkably like her. She extended a hand. “Doctor Jennifer Keller.”
“Doctor? Huh.” The other shook her hand. “Kaylee Frye, uh, I fix things. This is…”
“Weird?”
Kaylee nodded. “Little bit.”
“I’ve seen weirder. Trust me.”
Kaylee glanced towards the bar and shrugged. “Want a drink?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
“River? You gonna be okay with the killer cyborg?”
“She won’t kill me.”
“She’s too interesting.”
Kaylee and Keller raised their eyebrows in a remarkably similar fashion. River seemed unphased. “That was a joke.”
“It was.”
River paused. “Impressive.”
Kaylee rubbed River’s shoulder. “We’ll be over there sweetie, okay?” River nodded and they left for the bar.
“Doctor Keller isn’t from your world?” Cameron asked.
“No. She’s not from yours?”
“She isn’t.” They lapsed into silence, still studying each other.
The two couples turned back to each other as the exchange finished. Asami and Korra shared a look and shrugged as well. “Huh. Wonder if there are other versions of us around,” Asami mused.
“I think I’ve met a few people who sound a lot like me but no one else who looks like me so far,” Shepard said.
A familiar raven tressed woman with glasses caught Korra’s eye and waved. “Heyyyy!” Ally called. Lisa was with her, happily curled around her arm. Jane and Liara scooted over to make room and they sat down.
“Where’ve you two been?” Shepard asked.
“I’ve been trying to teach this one how to dance,” Lisa said, playfully poking her wife’s cheek.
“Any luck?” Asami asked.
“In the bedroom she’s got all kinds of style and grace. On the dancefloor…”
“Not so much,” Ally finished, sticking out her tongue. “Still had fun though.” Ally suddenly perked up and looked at Jane. “Shepard! Before I forget, you should chat some with Snake, I think you two could be good friends.”
“Who?”
“Over there, ponytail with the metal arm and the eyepatch,” Lisa said, pointing him out. He was sitting in a booth on the other side of the room beside a woman with long brown hair who was barely wearing anything at all. Across from them was a man with short brown hair, a beard and glasses and a woman with light brown skin and a large headband. The bearded man and nearly bare woman were making quick gestures back and forth while their partners talked.
“Is that sign language?” Liara asked.
“Mhm! Gordon and Quiet both have problems with their vocal cords,” Ally explained. “Gordon’s had them longer though, he’s been teaching Quiet ASL.”
“How did Quiet and Snake talk to each other before?” Korra asked.
“He said they’d worked out their own code. She traces letters on his skin to spell out words,” Lisa said.
“That’s so sweet!” Asami replied.
“They’re a really great couple,” Ally said. “If you guys have taught us anything it’s that the best kinds of friends are partners in battle and partners in bed.” Everyone laughed, Lisa rested her head on her wife’s shoulder.
Shepard raised her glass once more. “Here’s to the best vacation ever.”
#shiara#sunstone#ally x lisa#femshep x liara#korrasami#legend of korra#venom snake x quiet#freemance
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