#and Jen i Sharon Stone from The Quick and the Dead

[snackugaki]

@shiftandshade is blessed with so many ideas while I am cursed with only one drawing hand ;u;

*once again, shoves my beloved daughters into shit*

[jasonlloren]

The Time I Almost Died At A Concert

It was Nov. 14, 1987, and I was at the Oakland Coliseum to see The Bodeans, The Pretenders, and, yes, U-freakin’-2. Great, everyone loves a good, no, a great concert, but here’s the key point: I ALMOST DIED AT THIS SHOW. My goal was to get to the front of the stage by the time U2 started their set. It was a slow crawl to the front. During the Prentenders’ set, the crowd on the grass got tighter, sweatier, hotter. It was just uncomfortable, unbearable. Near the end of the Pretenders’ set I was within feet of the stage but the crowd was so packed, it was like floating in a sea of people. Literally, I wasn’t really standing but swaying along to the whims of the crowd’s movement from left to right to left. I felt like I was going to “drown” in this human ocean, so much so that I panicked. I quickly tried to save myself by exiting to the side. Took a while but I escaped the crowd. I think that if I had fallen, I would’ve been stomped to death. I enjoyed U2’s set from the back of the crowd. I lived. After that, I enjoyed a wealth of shows. Here’s a quick list of those shows, my lengthy resume as a nonprofessional concertgoer:

Hepcat, The Delirians, and The Shout Outs @ Slim’s, San Francisco, Dec. 31, 2016

Live 105's Not So Silent Night with Blink-182, Empire of the Sun, Jimmy Eat World, Glass Animals, Capital Cities, and The Strumbellas @ Oracle Arena, Oakland, Dec. 9, 2016

U2 @ the Cow Palace, San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2016

Muse, and Phantogram @ Oracle Arena, Oakland, Dec. 15, 2015

Garbage, and Torres @ Fox Theatre, Oakland, Oct. 7, 2015

Foo Fighters, The Killers, and Gary Clark Jr. (Dreamfest) @ Pier 70 , San Francisco, Sept. 17, 2015

Ingrid Michaelson, and Jukebox the Ghost and Greg Olden @ Fox Theater, June 13, 2015

The Black Keys, and Jake Bugg @ Oracle Arena, Nov. 3, 2014

Green Day, and Blondie @ AT&T Park, Nov. 19, 2013. Lenka, and Satellite @ Cafe du Nord, June 5, 2013

Metric, and Mona @ Fox Theater, April 18, 2013

Susanna Hoffs, and Evolution Eden @ Red Devil Lounge, Nov. 15, 2012

Cat Power, The Goat, and Entrance @ Fox Theater, Nov. 6, 2012

Pomplamoose @ Yoshi's Jazz Club, San Francisco, Oct. 9, 2012

Garbage @ The Warfield, Oct. 1, 2012

Dragonette, and The Knocks @ Mezzanine, Sept. 26, 2012

Sondre Lerche, and Fancy Colors @ The Independent, Sept. 20, 2012

Fiona Apple @ The Warfield, Sept. 11, 2012

Sara Bareilles, Stageit.com, Sept. 10, 2012

Nickelback, Bush, Seether, and My Darkest Days @ HP Pavilion, June 18, 2012

The Scorpions @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, June 9, 2012

Sugarland, Lauren Alaina, and Canaan Smith @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, June 1, 2012

Tenacious D, and The Sights @ The Fox Theater, May 24, 2012

Third Eye Blind @ Mezzanine, May 15, 2012

St. Vincent, tUnE-yArDs, and Kapowski @ The Fox Theater, April 24, 2012

Madness @ The Warfield, April 19, 2012

Elvis Costello & The Imposters @ The Warfield, April 15, 2012

The Ting Tings, and MNDR @ The Fillmore, March 25, 2012

Lenny Kravitz, and Raphael Saadiq @ The Fox Theater, Feb. 14, 2012

Ingrid Michaelson @ Cafe du Nord, Feb. 7, 2012

Eleanor Friedberger, and Dominant Legs @ The Independent, Feb. 4, 2012

Modest Mouse @ The Warfield, Jan. 25, 2012

Andy Grammer, Ryan Star, and Rachel Platten @ The Great American Music Hall, Jan. 15, 2012

Sara Bareilles, and Joshua Radin @ Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, Dec. 10, 2011

Feist, and Chilly Gonzales @ The Warfield, Nov. 14, 2011

Weird Al Yankovic @ The Fox Theater, Nov. 7, 2011

Shiny Toy Guns @ Rickshaw Stop, Oct. 27, 2011Victoria George, and Or, The Whale @ The Independent, Oct. 20, 2011

Foo Fighters, Cage The Elephant, Mariachi El Bronx, Oracle Arena, Oct. 19, 2011

Fountains Of Wayne, Mike Viola, and Karla Kane @ Slim's, Oct. 15, 2011

Foster The People @ KFOG Studios, San Francisco, Oct. 14, 2011

Evanescence, The Pretty Reckless, and Rival Sons @ The Fox Theater, Oct. 10, 2011

Sting, and Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers @ Oracle OpenWorld 2011 Appreciation Event @ Treaure island, Oct. 5, 2011

Liam Finn, and Marques Toliver @ The Independent, Oct. 4, 2011Bruno Mars, and Far East Movement @ Glamorama 2011, Orpheum Theater, Sept. 30, 2011

Bush, and Dead Sara @ the Great American Music Hall, Sept. 20, 2011

The Kills, Eleanor Friedberger, and Mini Mansions @ The Fox Theater, Sept. 9, 2011

Alanis Morissette, and Jay Leno @ Benioff UCSF Children's Hospital Benefit, Davies Symphony Hall, Sept. 1, 2011

Metallica @ Dreamforce 2011 Global Gala, Moscone Center, Aug. 31, 2011

Keb' Mo' @ KFOG Studios, Aug. 16, 2011

Soundgarden, and The Mars Volta @ Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, July 21, 2011

Sondre Lerche, Nightlands, and Kishi Bashi @ the Great American Music Hall, June 28, 2011

Florence + The Machine, and Hanni El Khatib @ the Greek Theatre, June 12, 2011

The Strokes, Snoop Dogg, and Caged The Elephant (Live 105 BFD Festival) @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, June 5, 2011

Jenny & Johnny, Nik Frietas, and Whispertown @ The New Parish, Oakland, May 25, 2011The Cars @ The Fox Theater, May 13, 2011

Queens of the Stone Age, The Dough Rollers @ Fox Theater, April 11, 2011

Lenka, and Greg Laswell @ Rickshaw Stop, April 1, 2011

Orchestral Maneuvres in the Dark, and Oh Land @ Fox Theater, March 26, 2011

Peter Murphy, and Reckless In Vegas @ Mezzanine, March 9, 2011

Cat Power @ The Fillmore, Feb. 4, 2011

Sara Bareilles, and Raining Jane @ The Warfield, Dec. 16, 2010

OK Go @ Dolby Laboratories, Dec. 8, 2010

Laura Veirs & The Hall of Flames, Leslie Stevens & The Badgers, and Led To Sea @ The Independent, Nov. 2, 2010

Ingrid Michaelson, and the Guggenheim Grotto @ The Fillmore, Nov. 1, 2010

Cat Power @ Rio Theater, Santa Cruz, Oct. 22, 2010

One eskimO, and Honeyhoney @ Red Devil Lounge, Oct. 18, 2010

Liz Phair, and Loquat @ The Independent, Oct. 10, 2010

Aimee Mann @ Yoshi's, San Francisco, Oct. 9, 2010

Elvis Costello & Nick Lowe @ the Great American Music Hall, Oct. 1, 2010

The Black Keys, & Nicole Atkins @ Fox Theater, Sept. 29, 2010

Hepcat, and The Inciters @ Slim's, Aug. 21, 2010

Nico Vega @ Cafe du Nord, July 18, 2010

Mayhem Festival featuring Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, and Five Finger Death Punch @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, July 11, 2010

Paul McCartney @ AT&T Park, July 10, 2010

Concrete Blonde, and Flametal @ the Regency Ballroom, June 26, 2010

Victoria George @ The Sleeping Lady, Fairfax, June 18, 2010Diane Birch and AM @ The Independent, May 13, 2010

Shelby Lynne and Findlay Brown @ The Great American Music Hall, April 23, 2010

Charlotte Gainsbourg, Jogger, and AM @ The Palace of Fine Arts, April 17, 2010

The Whitest Boy Alive, and Sugar & Gold @ Slim's, April 14, 2010Spoon, Deerhunter, and Micachu & the Shapes @ Fox Theater, April 13, 2010

Metric, Codeine Velvet Club, and Nico Vega @ Fox Theater, March 24, 2010

Laura Veirs, the old believers, and Cataldo @ Cafe du Nord, March 10, 2010

Nouvelle Vague and Findlay Brown @ the Regency Ballroom, Feb. 7, 2010

Hepcat and Ron Silva & The Monarchs @ the Slim's, Dec. 19, 2009

Glenn Tilbrook and Marianne Keith @ the Red Devil Lounge, Oct. 15, 2009

Miniature Tigers, Farewell Typewriter and All My Pretty Ones @ Cafe Du Nord, July 7, 2009

Nouvelle Vague @ The Grand Ballroom, June 19, 2009

Vienna Teng @ Yoshi's in Oakland, April 24, 2009 [This was the 6th time I've seen VT live.]

Paul Weller @ The Grand at the Regency Center, April 17, 2009

Stroke 9 @ the Red Devil Lounge, Feb. 26, 2009

Duncan Sheik, Lauren Pritchard and Holly Brook @ The Palace of Fine Arts, Feb. 21, 2009

Hepcat and the Soul Captives @ Slim's, Dec. 21, 2008 [This was the 6th time I saw Hepcat live.]

Vienna Teng and The Paper Raincoat @ The Palace of Fine Arts, Dec. 13, 2008

"Spring Awakening" @ The Curran Theatre, Oct. 11, 2008 [Not technically a concert but pretty damn close.]

Squeeze and Jim Bianco @ Mountain Winery, Saratoga, Sept. 13, 2008

Dave Matthews Band and Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings @ the Greek Theatre, Sept. 5, 2008

Paul Weller and Geva Alon @ The Fillmore, Sept. 4, 2008 [Finally, after all these years, I saw The Modfather live.]

Marc Broussard, Priscilla Ahn and Matt Hires @ The Independent, August 30, 2008

Stone Temple Pilots and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club @ the Greek Theatre, July 25, 2008

Feist and The Golden Dogs @ the Greek Theatre, July 19, 2008 [Did I count this right? I've seen Feist SEVEN times in concert.]

Greg Brown and Pieta Brown @ The Great American Music Hall, June 27, 2008Vienna Teng @ Noe Valley Ministries, May 30, 2008

Cat Power and Appaloosa @ The Warfield, April 15, 2008 [This was the best show with the worst opener I've ever seen.]

Matchbox Twenty, Alanis Morrisette and Mute Math @ HP Pavilion, March 12, 2008 [Finally got to see M20 in concert.]

Van Halen and Ky-Mani Marley @ Oakland Arena, Dec. 22, 2007

Aimee Mann, Chuck Prophet, Sean Hayes and Paul Thompkins @ Bimbo's 365 Club, Dec. 2, 2007Feist and Wil @ Masonic Auditorium, Nov. 9, 2007Dan Wilson @ KFOG, S.F., Oct. 2, 2007Justin King & The Apologies @ The Rock-it Room, S.F., Sept. 25, 2007The English Beat and Dub FX @ Avalon, Santa Clara, Sept. 20, 2007Squeeze and Fountains of Wayne @ Mountain Winery, Saratoga, August 14, 2007 [It took 26 years but finally, a concert goal is met: I see Squeeze live.]Joan Osborne and Victoria George @ Slim's, July 19, 2007John Wesley Harding and Chris Von Sneidern @ the Red Devil Lounge, July 18, 2007The English Beat @ 19 Broadway, Fairfax, July 14, 2007Feist and Grizzly Bear @ The Fillmore, June 26, 2007Mandi Perkins, Kat Parsons and Libbie Schrader @ the Red Devil Lounge, June 20, 2007Mason Jennings and Ferraby Lionheart @ Bimbo's 365 Club, June 7, 2007Vienna Teng and Jenny Owen Youngs @ The Palace of Fine Arts, May 10, 2007 [This gig introduced me to JOY.]Duncan Sheik and Holly Brook @ The Independent, April 25, 2007 [I discovered Holly Brook here.]The Killers, Solarcade and The Howling Bells @ Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, April 7, 2007Victoria George @ The Sweetwater Saloon, Mill Valley, March 31, 2007Mat Kearney, The Feeling and Rocco DeLuca & the Burden @ The Fillmore, March 21, 2007Eric Clapton and the Robert Cray Band @ HP Pavilion, March 18, 2007 [Past his prime but still: CLAPTON is GOD.]Lily Allen @ The Great American Music Hall, Feb. 7, 2007Vienna Teng and The Animators @ The Independent, Dec. 23, 2006Feist and Deathcab For Cutie @ KFOG Concert For Kids, The Paramount Theatre, Dec. 7, 2006Zack Hexum @ The Rock-it Room, S.F., Dec. 6, 2006The Who @ HP Pavilion, Nov. 8, 2006Duncan Sheik @ Montalvo Carriage House, Saratoga, Oct. 20, 2006Sheryl Crow, and John Mayer @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, Oct. 1, 2006Feist and The Long Winters @ The Fillmore, Sept. 8, 2006Hepcat and The Debonaires @ The Great American Music Hall, Sept. 2, 2006Duncan Sheik and Vienna Teng @ The Great American Music Hall, July 27, 2006 [I discovered Vienna Teng here.]The Fray and Augustana @ The Fillmore, July 17, 2006Aimee Mann @ McNear's Mystic Theatre, Petaluma, June 17, 2006The Boy Least Likely To and The Bicycles @ The Great American Music Hall, June 2, 2006Zack Hexum, Gabriel Mann and Cas Lucas @ Epic Arts Studio, Berkeley, May 19, 2006Mat Kearney, Justin King and Joshua Radin @ Cafe Du Nord, May 16, 2006James Blunt, The Boy Least Likely To and Sierra Swam @ The Warfield, April 6, 2006 [Wow, I found out about The Boy Least Likely To here.]Feist, John Vanderslice, Youth Group and The Botticellis @ Bimbo's 365 Club (Noise Pop 2006 festival), March 28, 2006Hepcat and The Big Sound @ Slim's, March 10, 2006Ben Lee, Leona Naess and Caleb Kane @ The Great American Music Hall, March 6, 2006 [Leona Naess: What a joy to discover.]The English Beat and The Monophonics @ The Boom Boom Room, S.F., Feb. 9, 2006 [I finally get to see Dave Wakeling live.]Aerosmith and Lenny Kravitz @ The Oakland Arena, Feb. 8, 2006Coldplay and Fiona Apple @ Oakland Arena, Jan. 31, 2006INXS and The Lovehammers @ The Paramount, Theatre, Jan. 23, 2006Fiona Apple @ The Warfield, Nov. 25, 2005Feist and Broken Social Scene @ The Grand at the Regency Center, Nov. 9, 2005 [My first time seeing Feist!]Foo Fighters and Weezer @ The Oakland Arena, Oct. 28, 2005Audioslave, Seether and 30 Seconds to Mars @ Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, Sep. 25, 2005 [I had never seen Soundgarden in concert but this was pretty close. Chris Cornell and Co. played 4 or 5 SG songs, including an acoustic "Black Hole Sun."]Garbage and The Start @ The Warfield, Sept. 11, 2005Aimee Mann @ Amoeba Records, S.F., Aug. 12, 2005Maroon 5 and The Thrills @ HP Pavilion, May 5, 2005Hepcat @ The Great American Music Hall, April 23, 2005Rob Thomas and Beth Hart @ The Fillmore, April 15, 2005Gavin DeGraw, The Wreckers and Tyler Hilton @ The Warfield, March 8, 2005John Mayer and Maroon 5 @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, July 16, 2004Aimee Mann, Michael Penn and Patton Oswalt @ Bimbo's 365 Club, Jan. 25, 2000Semisonic, Barenaked Ladies, and Mike Viola and the Candy Butchers @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, Aug. 19, 1999Swing Out Sister @ Bimbo's 365 Club, 1997Dance Hall Crashers @ Trocadero Transfer, S.F., Nov. 8, 1997Dance Hall Crashers @ The Fillmore, Oct. 13, 1995No Doubt and Let's Go Bowling @ The Great American Music Hall, March 27, 1995 [I was standing at the front of the stage. Gwen Stefani, who was wearing a red leather short-skirt dress and fishnets, kept grinding her hips during the show. All I really remember is Gwen's crotch being repeatedly pumped 4 feet away from my face.]Hepcat @ Slim's, March 26, 1995Dance Hall Crashers @ Slim's, Jan. 27, 1995Hepcat and The Loved Ones @ Slim's, Jan. 14, 1995Stone Temple Pilots @ Henry J. Kaiser Arena, Oakland, July 23, 1994New Order, 808 State, Stereo MCs, and The The @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, July 24, 1993Nirvana, L7, Disposable Heroes of HipHoprisy and The Breeders @ The Cow Palace, April 9, 1993 [Yes, I saw Kurt Cobain live! Bonus: It was a benefit for Bosnian rape victims.]Morrissey, and Gallon Drunk @ Concord Pavilion, Oct. 13, 1992Lush @ Slim's, S.F., April 14, 1992John Wesley Harding and Barenaked Ladies @ The Great American Music Hall, 1992 [This gig introduced me to a little-known Canadian band.]Crowded House and Richard Thompson @ the Greek Theatre, Sept. 6, 1991Morrissey @ the Greek Theatre, June 8, 1991John Wesley Harding and The Judy Bats @ Slim's, May 26, 1991Depeche Mode @ Shoreline Amphitheatre, July 21, 1990R.E.M. and NRBQ @ Concord Pavilion, Oct. 20, 1989 [This was the weekend after the Loma Prieta quake. I was really determined to go to this concert in light of that.]The Cure, and Shelleyann Orphan @ Oakland Arena, Sept. 9, 1989Miami Sound Machine @ Concord Pavilion, circa 1987 [My girlfriend dragged me to this, OK?]