dont-offend-the-bees · 1 year ago
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Shit bro first hormone appointment in two days hold my hand
#am excited and scared#idk how honest i should be really#and idk what the guy's like#and I'm excited from a personal standpoint (holy shit yes hormones finally)#but scared/worried from a yknow. societal standpoint.#doing this in 2023 on terf island probably isn't the best move#and idk it's kinda daunting when i could write a laundry list of cons#and the pros list basically just amounts to 'makes me happy c:'#but like. i guess that's transition in a nutshell right?#we don't do this shit bc it's easy#if i could be content with the easy option (i.e. present as cis)#i would do that#bc i fucking hate expending any effort for anything abjsjdjfjdjjsd#aaaaaaa. two days to go.#might all be moot ig. they might reject me out of hand#and if they don't there's a good chance they'll reject me at the second appointment bc of my health#but yeah excited and scared is how I'd put it#but i simply don't think I'll ever know for certain that this is what i need until i try it#because i can second guess/talk myself out of ANYTHING. no joke.#and I'm soooo fucking. tired of being that bitch who's always waiting for shit to happen.#or waiting for the perfect time or whatever#waiting and thinking and waiting and thinking it's all i dooooooo#i need to get out of my fucking head#and i need to do fucking Something that deters perfect strangers from clocking me as female within seconds of knowing me#despite how fucking bewildering that feels to me as like. a soft masc presenting individual. who really doesn't get where they got that from#anyway its not with the gic but it is on the nhs#it's an appt with a local endocrinologist#so if anyone else has been prescribed hormones that way and has any advice/insight on how this appointment might play out dm me lmao#mr. bees speaks
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