#and I'll just pretend its still the version of the song my brain invented because that version DOES fit Charles and Edwin so well

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

So my dead boy detectives obsession has accidentally revealed how bad my audio processing can get. I've been in the I need more songs for my playlist NOW mood lately so I've been wracking my brain for songs that could fit the characters. And I was like Oh! I know just the conan gray song, the lyric 'don't get yourself down at the end of your life' fits Charles’ death so well! And then it talks all about fated love! Ahh I must add it!"

Except I went to the album. And not only is the lyric actually NOT don't get yourself down at the end of your life, which would be one thing. I mean like in hindsight that actually doesn't makes sense why would that be in the song that my brain has been thinking this whole time but I digress. But it's also NOT talking about fated love. The song is literally called Fainted Love and somehow... That never clicked for me?? Like I usually listen to the whole album and never bothered to click on the lyrics (which apparently I desperately need because of my auditory processing disorder) but how, Morgan's brain, did the title literally not matching what I was hearing not ring any bells for me?? I genuinely don't know. And like it's not like I was just passively listening to the song it's one of my favorites on the album.

And since I was misinterpreting the entirety of the song this entire time I like can't reverse it. The song isn't soulmate coded like I was somehow convinced of even remotely but I relistened to it with my new awareness of the actual lyrics and my brain still isn't reacting to it in the semi sad meaning it has in actuality way. My brain still has soulmate heart emojis up in it while listening. Still. I can't with my brain