#and I'd have to go inactive and push the responsibility of running it on others

[maudiemoods]

For those who don't know, it's where artists come together and pick one color palette to use. They can draw whatever they want as long as they use those colors! At the end, you all share them to see what each other made!

Omg I want to do the different artist same color pallet thing who wants to do that with me?

[lunar1an]

Ghost as Phos: An Analysis

Now that HnK is done it's fascinating to go back and comb through the story beats and try to tie them together. In particular there's a really interesting pattern to notice in all of Phos's partners, or rather, a pattern break.

For the purpose of this post I'm considering Antarc, Ghost Quartz, Cairngorm, Padparadscha, and on a symbolic level Cinnabar* as partners. For the most part, they fill the following functions: they tutor or discipline Phos in some aspect, they're stabilizing forces that rein them in, and they all have some degree of care and love for Phos. Cinnabar repeatedly gives Phos advice, urging them to think through things more. Antarc genuinely believes in Phos's ability to do better, urging them to rise above their defeatist nature. Cairngorm, despite what Cairngorm says, seems to have genuinely wanted to protect the idiot who lost Ghost but gave them their first non-Ghost name. Padpa regards Phos like a little sibling they have to babysit, but still goes to great lengths to help them.

And then there's Ghost Quartz. Ghost is in a weird, kind of liminal place in the narrative. Ghost comes about at a time when Phos is arguably at their second lowest point -- without knowledge or a way forward, breaking down under the weight of isolation and their conspiracy. Ghost doesn't last long. In fact, they partner up with Phos for less than a day before sacrificing themself for them, leaving Cairngorm behind. But hey, a lot of these other partnerships don't last long either. Padpa only had one raid and then one rescue mission, and wasn't even an "official" partner so much as the one who took on the Phos babysitting responsibility.

But either way, Ghost was still a partner. I'd probably put the start of Ghost trying to fill that role after they thought Phos was trying to reach out to help them, up until their sacrifice. So. What do they do, as Phos's partner? How do they stabilize them?

Pictured: Ghost and Phos soon to start the worst mutual rebound in gem history

They try to get Phos to allow them to help, immediately, almost forcing the partnership onto them. They latch onto a false idea that Phos was trying to save them and say Phos reminds them of Lapis. They commiserate over feeling stupid and express a desire to change.

If anything, Ghost was a more passive, enabling personality. When Phos says they're researching Lunarian communication, Ghost tries to help, and later on doesn't stop them from investigating a large group of Lunarians.

In Ghost's mind, Phos seems to be placed as the competent, smart figure, who reached out to them and showed the bare minimum care for them.

Sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it?

The context is different, but there's more parallels elsewhere.

Ghost is a gem who hadn't appeared at all in the story, up until a mention in volume 4. They're seemingly absent from the daily social life of most gems. They aren't even present around Euclase or Lex when they deal with paperwork. The library, when we visit it, is a lonely, dark space. The convalescent chamber just has a bunch of inactive gems sitting in boxes. They confess to Phos that both of their jobs -- the library and the convalescent chamber -- are barely jobs at all.

There are two other gems we see with similar roles. The first is Phos themself at the beginning, who didn't have any job. The second is Cinnabar, who runs a pointless night patrol. Both of these gems are outcasts, and unsuited for gem society -- Phos is too brittle and weak, and Cinnabar is overflowing with mercury that forces them to isolate themself. Antarc is pushed to the sidelines as well, being liquid outside of winter, but they at least found a useful role and place in the world.

We know what makes Ghost "unusual", of course. There's a Gorm in there.

As Ghost's inner layer, they're troublesome and said to do surprising things, such as climbing on top of the concealed Lunarian to check for Lapis. Even before going to the moon Cairngorm had a notably rougher, bolder personality than Ghost.

So imagine how that plays out for every other gem, before Lapis. Imagine if Ghost is out on patrol, and they see a Lunarian. Cairngorm rushes in when they aren't supposed to, and someone gets hurt or taken because of it. You could draw parallels to how Phos, even after getting powerful legs, froze up when the Amethyst twins were captured instead of going to get Sensei.

Their nature makes them unsuited to fighting. It makes them troublesome to their fellow gems. Is it any surprise they were given the convalescent chamber job, which has little to no chance of Ghost's inner layer acting out and causing serious harm or inconvenience?

Lapis was the exception -- someone who didn't see their nature as a burden, who their inner layer actually listened to. And then Lapis was taken, leaving Ghost blaming their own nature for their incompetence.

Similarly, Antarc refused to let Phos blame their hardness for all of their woes, having a low hardness themself, and they did have a successful Winter partnership for a while. When Antarc gets taken away, Phos blames their own body and uncooperative arms for their inability to rescue them.

As an aside, this is all rough for Cairngorm too. Being stuck inside another gem, with that gem being the only one everyone else sees? Wanting different things and only really being able to express that through acting out? Only being known as something 'troublesome inside Ghost'?

It's fucked. Sensei and every other gem could have done better, to make sure Cairngorm's personhood was recognized. Instead, Ghost is left feeling shame and hate towards their inner layer, and Cairngorm ends up with an identity complex and feels haunted in a way that Aechmea later exploits.

Anyway. If you could say that Phos's partners parallel Antarc in role and behavior, Ghost turns it around. Ghost parallels Phos. They want Phos to be an Antarc/Lapis for them, because now that Phos is useful and strong, they're someone who can give Ghost a sense of being loved.

And at this time, Phos is very much trying to be an Antarc and not a Phos. Phos has a shorter haircut to better resemble Antarc, they take their lessons to heart and farther, overworking themself in an effort to be disciplined and useful.

This inversion is unsustainable. Phos isn't an Antarc or a Lapis. Antarc did all of that because of their love for Sensei and Phos. Well, not exactly love in Phos's case but there's a definite care and desire to protect them.

Phos acts like Antarc out of grief and suspicion. They go after the Lunarians relentlessly to get Antarc back. They continue acting "courageous" and overworking themself so they can find out what the connection between Sensei and the Lunarians is. They're given multiple warning signs that this search could harm those around them -- Padparadscha warns them about the truth, and Cinnabar practically goes "hey phos this sensei thing isn't fun i just want to spend time with you". Hell, Phos stops helping Ghost in order to see what Sensei will do.

(boy i sure hope phos learns from this experience and does not continue to neglect the gems around them while furthering the lunarians' goals)

It all comes to a head when Phos gets distracted and gets shot. Ghost has to jump in and save them, sacrificing themself in the process.

When Phos lost Antarc, there was some level of...lack of agency, I suppose? Phos was in the role of the mentee or younger sibling. They did something reckless, with their arms being lost as a result, but a lot of what happened was out of control. They couldn't have predicted the Lunarians emerging that day or trapping Sensei. They couldn't have predicted the metal would attach to them, and furthermore imprison them while Antarc was being taken. They were still "the useless one".

But now Phos is the Antarc. Ghost is supposed to be a gem they protect, like they protected the Amethyst twins by easily dispatching a Lunarian. They had every possible red flag telling them that messing with these Lunarians was a bad idea. But they didn't. They couldn't have predicted their alloy would stop working, but their negligence did lead to them being shot in the first place, and Ghost getting taken.

It's interesting in that while losing Ghost is a breaking point that leads to Phos's complete mental break shortly after (forcing Cairngorm into the Alloy Box), followed by them mellowing out at least a little bit (up until they lose their head protecting Cairngorm in a much more suitably 'Antarc' move), the harm Phos does to the gems only escalates.

As the useless child, a gem who chose to look after them gets lost. As the competent fighter, a gem they had a responsibility to look out for gets lost. As a wiser, older figure with Lapis's head (no longer the youngest gem, deliberately framed as a mentor for the younger Morga and Goshe), they have Cairngorm attack and send them to the moon, reigniting god knows how many traumas in Cairngorm, and making all the gems believe they're dead. As an important figurehead in the community, who's the only gem they know who came back from the moon, they shatter that community. And eventually, as the savior of gems dusted and alive from the Lunarians, their actions lead to the ultimate extinction of gems as a species.

So maybe Ghost was the first warning sign, on a lot of levels. A stand-in for Phos themself, or someone a lot like them. Like the story was practically screaming at Phos "hi, there's someone who understands your loss, another outcast who you can confide in, two of them even"!

But Phos let them be harmed in pursuit of their goals, goals they eventually lose sight of until it was too late.

Or alternatively Ichikawa just killed Ghost off because if they got attached to Actual Phos and not the Lapis 2 they projected onto them god knows where this series would have gone. This is the fucker who spends 10,000 years on the moon preserving every trace of the past/Lapis's legacy and Not Letting Go Of Their Attachment, from what Party at the End implies. If I were Aechmea I'd be terrified.

* = never officially a partner, but had the same function and role in Phos's life in the background, and is grouped with Phos's partners in the narrative (hangs with Antarc and Cairngorm on the moon, later seen on the same side of Sensei as Ghost and Antarc when being prayed away). I suppose in that regard Padpa isn't an official partner either really but they definitely acted as one.

[acoyotesmate]

Malia brings Stiles back to the real world and not Lydia + their meeting (6a), pleaaaaaase?I know you're inactive but I'd like to see at least 1 fanfiction on this story ..(I'm French, sorry for my accent)

can also be read here

Stiles feels a tug on his arm, but when he looks there's nothing there. He feels it again, but this time it's stronger, pulls him off his feet and makes him land on the floor with a resounding thud.

"Was that your first kiss?"

He looks up and he sees himself back in Eichen with Malia. It's like a movie being projected onto the walls of - well, wherever the hell he is now.

What the hell is happening?

He frowns and stands up, the scene shifting as they kiss again. They're in the Hale vault now.

"You’re coming back, right?"

"Yeah...I'd never leave you behind."

"What the hell is happening?" He mutters to himself. He watches himself leave the vault, never once taking his eyes off of Malia as the door shuts.

"Where are you going Stiles?" He hears Malia ask, but it's muffled.

He looks around for her, and another memory unfolds before him. "Control is overrated."

Out of curiosity he turns around again and another memory steals the spotlight. Now they're in his jeep.

"I thought you just took off. I thought you were running."

"I was running. "

"No, I mean I thought you were leaving."

"Oh, I wouldn't leave without you."

"Really?"

"No, I would never leave without you."

It shifts again to them standing under the school awning, rain pouring all around them.

"Don't mock the vision."

"I like the vision! Especially if I'm a part of it."

He hears a muffled voice say, "Focus, Malia, try to find the moment he became your anchor."  

"Lydia?" Stiles questions.

"I'm trying. It's harder than you think to remember someone who was erased from reality."

Everything around him slowly starts to shift until suddenly everything speeds up and he sees flashes of memories, of him and Malia kissing, hugging, having sex, eating dinner with his dad, studying, protecting each other until it all just stops.

They're back in the basement, Malia lunging at him, but he refuses to leave even after her cuff snaps. Her movements start to slow, until she gets control, staring at her hands in shock because she did it. She looks up at Stiles, pure relief on her face.

"I remember now. He was with me at the lake house. He refused to leave me and I didn't want to hurt him..."

Stiles whips around towards her voice because it's startlingly clear now and this time he finds her standing directly behind him. "Malia?"

She doesn't respond to him. "What now Lydia?"

"Something's happening. Just hold onto whatever you're feeling. Keep thinking about him."

Another memory surrounds them.

"Who are you trying to save out here?" The desert wolf asks. Her eyes shift all of sudden to stare behind Malia.  "It's him, isn't it?"

He watches Malia turn in the memory and sees himself clutching his forehead.

"That's the one."

Stiles smiles softly. Even after he'd pushed her away it was still so obvious she cared about him that her mother picked up on it right away.

"Come back to me, Stiles." Malia mutters to herself.

Stiles approaches her then, waves his hand in front of her eyes. She doesn't react. "Malia, I'm right here!"

No response.

"MALIA!"

When she still doesn't react, Stiles puts his hand on her shoulder and suddenly everything goes white. He feels as if he's being ripped apart from the inside ojr and after a moment he promptly passes out.

-----

"It didn't work." Lydia says as the rift fades away.

"It had to." Malia insists. She refuses to believe she wasn't enough to bring Stiles back.

She feels Scott place his hand on her shoulder. "Malia..."

She jerks away, whipping around to face them. "No, it worked. He's here. He has to be."

Scott's looking at her with barely disguised pity and she hates it so she snaps her focus to Lydia instead. "Where was he taken? Do you remember yet?"

Lydia thinks for a moment, then perks up suddenly. "The school! I remember now! He was taken from his jeep!"

"Then that's where we're going," Malia says, pushing past them with purpose.

-----

Stiles jolts awake, gasping desperately for air, reaching blindly for something to hold onto. It takes a moment to gather his bearings, but when he does he realizes he's clutching the steering wheel of his jeep in the school parking lot.

Malia brought me back.

He doesn't know how only that she did - only that her love for him was enough to bring him back into reality. Like an anchor.

"I'm an idiot." He says, sinking into his seat.

He's let so much time pass after their break up without apologizing or fixing things between them and for no reason at all. He knew he loved her, had felt that love grow as they found their way back to being friends, but he thought it was too late for them.

Now he knows it isn't.

Malia loves him - enough to rip him away from another plane of existence and bring him home. That mattered. That made him so incredibly happy to know.

I'm going to make it up to her if it's the last thing I do.

Finding his friends was his first priority and the school seemed like the perfect place to start. He waits until his heart isn't hammering and he can breathe properly before getting out of his jeep.

-----

Stiles isn't at his jeep, but Malia catches his scent immediately, taking off towards the school, Lydia following after her.

Scott had gone to the hospital to help Liam, leaving it up to them to find Stiles.

They're almost to the boy's locker rooms when Malia catches another scent. She comes to halt, waits for Lydia to catch up.

"What is it?" Lydia asks, a bit breathless.

"They're in the locker room." Malia turns to face her. "I'll distract the Ghost Rider, you get Stiles out of here."

"No, Malia, we're not leaving you!" Lydia protests.

"They don't want me. They want Stiles, and I'm not letting them take him away from me again so get on board with the plan or I'll go in there without you."

Lydia doesn't look happy about it, but she nods. Malia sprints towards the door, kicking it open and charging at the Ghost Rider while Lydia rushes in behind her.

"Malia?!" She hears Stiles shout.

"Stiles let's go!" Lydia exclaims.

Malia makes contact with the Ghost Rider who seems unimpressed by her. It throws her off and she hits the floor with a loud thud, all the wind getting knocked out of her.

"Malia!"

"Stiles, stay back!" Lydia shouts.

Malia jumps to her a feet, sparing a glance over her shoulder as she shouts, "RUN!"

Lydia says something to Stiles she doesn't catch as she prepares herself to turn fully into a coyote - something she now has the control do with her anchor back.

The Ghost Rider pulls out it's whip, readying it's attack.

"I told you I wasn't leaving you," Lydia says, stepping into the empty space next to her.

Before she can complain, Lydia opens her mouth and screams - so powerful Malia can see the sound as it makes it's way to the Ghost Rider.

The Ghost Rider slams into the wall as it hits it's chest and Lydia grabs Malia's arm, dragging her out of the locker room as it falls to the ground with a thud.

"Wait, where's Stiles?" Malia asks.

"Right here!"

She looks ahead and sees him waiting at the end of the hall. She fills with relief and without thinking about the consequences, launches herself at him.

He grunts on impact, but still wraps his arms around her, squeezing tightly. Solid. Warm. Anxiety wafting off him in waves. This was definitely Stiles. Her Stiles.

Stiles pulls away, puts his hand on her face, but she beats him to punch and kisses him, putting all the love, the hurt, the longing she's felt into it. He kisses back and it's like an unspoken apology for all of pain he's caused.

"I love you," he whispers as he pulls away.

She smiles, filling with unfettered joy at those words. "I love you too," she repeats quietly, staring into his soft brown eyes.

He smiles back as if it's the best news he's ever received. They have a lot to talk about, but Malia has a good feeling that they'll figure it all out.

"Uh, guys, I hate to interrupt, but we should really be running right now," Lydia says.

Malia looks over her shoulder and sees the Ghost Rider coming out of the locker room. She grabs Stiles' hand and starts running.