#and I think the show would have gotten a LOT messier if SH hadn't been upfront and said he liked them both and needed time

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Seong Min could solve so many problems if he just told Hwi "I really like you. Our date was great. I'm just interested in several people, and I want to go on a date with everyone I'm interested in before I commit to something."

Given we only see an hour of footage for a 24 hr day, maybe he explicitly said something to him and we don't know. However, him telling Hwi that he just called JS because he told himself he'd call a different person the first two days is silly. He clearly likes JS, and that's fine. They're there to date people. Some people we just going to be into one person and not interested in dating others (JS, YH, and HJ all had this happen last season), and that's fine too.

The problems start to arise when you aren't honest about what's happening.

I think Seong Min is just trying to preserve everyone's feelings. Telling Hwi, who's clearly really into him, that he wants to date other people must be really really awkward. Like who wants to do that? Last season, MS was so distressed by liking two people that he literally slept all day and hid away with SW and JW to avoid talking about it.

I think that's why SM wanted JS to keep the date details a secret. I actually think I'd behave a lot like SM on the show - trying to not make a big deal out of the dates and keeping my relationship with each person separate. They're all aware they're in this insane dating show, so I would want to just let the show progress and then make a decision at the end.

We all know that people who aren't instantly sure about which person they want to pursue get a lot of crap from audiences, which is stupid. You should be allowed to go on multiple dates and come to a well thought out conclusion (like SH did).

But it's clearly driving Hwi insane, and I see why. SM keeps skirting around whether he likes other people and then refuses to tell Hwi about where his head is at. Either him or JS should have just said, "Yea, JS got an extra date card because he got the most calls. It was fine, we did XYZ." And Hwi would still probably be jealous, but then that would a) be on him and b) I think he'd be more calm if he knew SM liked him. Hwi seems really insecure about this whole thing, which is understandable because, again, they're in a giant fishbowl where multiple former contestants have explained your emotions are heightened and you can feel like it's these 8 men or nothing. He really likes this person, and he keeps getting oscillating feedback about whether it's reciprocated.

Like I actually almost cried at the ending talk between Hwi and SM at the end of episode 6 when the lights went off. Hwi saying he was going to wait until mics were off to ask if SM actually liked him outside the show nearly killed me. Like take my heart.

I don't think SM means to be hurtful, but frankly, his response was not it. If I had been Hwi, that would have been it for me. Completely done. Telling Hwi that he'll find out later on the show is borderline cruel. A simple, "I literally just called you, of course I like you," probably would have gone a long ways.

If I was SM, and the person I was into (even if he wasn't the only one) asked me this question, I would be so deeply concerned. When mics did come off, we would be having a nice discussion. I know from HJ's vlogs that production hates that, but JS and SH were literally sleeping in the same bed for half the show and driving everyone nuts so they can suck it up.

In conclusion, I don't think SM is trying to be mean. If anyone has been watching Dabit's His Man 3 streams, he talks about how in the real world, any of these contestant's personality flaws would be normal. They're not sociopaths, they're people we encounter every day - SM is probably avoidant like many of us (me...it's me).

But letting people know how you feel can go a long ways. I feel like the takeaway from this should be that it's okay to have complex feelings about someone (or multiples in this case), but it's not okay to not communicate it.

So for all future His Man contestants who somehow end up here - that's what you should know