#and I provably couldn't have avoided the mega intense burnout | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brinnanza · 3 months

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I keep trying to gotcha my brain out of anxiety by thinking like well what can I do about it right now with what I have because often it's tangibly nothing but unfortunately I can always Plan and I don't really know how to respond to that because it seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do when there's nothing else

#brinn's marble run #I guess it's worth striving for improvement even if perfect efficiency is impossible #both personally and generally #many of my problems at this stage could probably be solved by bouncing my thought processes off of another person #but I can only just barely and occasionally put into words any of this shit anyway so like #would love a second opinion but no I cannot verbalize what I would like the opinion on #no one listened when I was a kid so I just pretended nothing was wrong as best as I could #which I guess I still do #self realization sucks at least when I was numb I had some money #although I couldn't have prevented a pandemic #and I provably couldn't have avoided the mega intense burnout #I guess there's never anything I could have done because if I'd done it it'd be different #which brings me back around to planning something I can always do #I feel like a fucking rabbit too focused on threats to notice what's happening in my own body

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