#and I now realized you didn't necessarily mean human teeth but I still want to know if someone had been harmed in their extraction

[introverted-ghost]

Hello, how are you doing? :))

Just realized how ~weird~ it is that we have been friends for this long and I do not know your name. I don't mean your real name necessarily, but just some way to call you? Lmao I literally cannot believe I am only now asking this, I feel like a terrible online friend :((

Funny how internet friendships work tho. Like I know you're a half-psychic pisces, and your favorite color is green, and you like The Owl House and The Ninja Turtles and Ninjago, and you have cats and several siblings.....

But I don't have a way to call you.

????

Honestly wtFUCK.

So imma ask you some questions to know you a lil better, if you don't mind.

1. HOW CAN I CALL YOU OMGGGG

2. Favorite candy

3. How was this past week? Anything fun?

4. What kind of books do you like? Not gonna ask favorite book, but just talk to me about books :) you like reading, right? I know you like comics, and reading comics is reading. You can talk to me about comics.

5. What is your favorite fun fact? Can be about anything. I'll tell you mine: a human teeth has 32 calories.

6. YOU HAVE CATS, RIGHT? I HAVE THIS MEMORY THAT YOU SHOWED ME SOME PICTURES OF THEM. RIGHT?? TWO OF THEM. I DIDN'T MADE THAT UP. RIGHT????

7. Do you still wanna be friends after this mess of an ask? Lmao.

Sorry. Currently 2:00 am. I shouldn't be allowed to use internet at this unholy hours.

I’m gonna fucking die I just finished answering this then tumblr crashed and it was gone. Anyways~

1. To be honest I don’t really care what people call me. Most folks call me dryad but I also go by edland, xero, kylan, and rian or anything else really since I don’t super care

2. I don’t think I have a favourite candy so I went to check what was in my stash which was virtually nothing (Imma have to stock up once I get paid) but there was a container of pink lemonade lemonheads (which are pretty good btw)

3. Id probably have to make a whole separate post to cover everything I did but basically we went camping a lot in different places across the province each night (depending on where you’re from that may not seem too impressive but I’ll tell you in messages the size of it compared to Colombia so you get the picture)

4. I like fiction stories, usually fantasy but chill if it’s not. I recently (yesterday) got a book from the library I asked for ages ago (it took extra time since the one they gave me originally was in Chinese so I returned that one and asked for one in english) it’s called journey to the west btw. I know a lot about it and have watched many adaptations of it but it’s nice to be able to read it. Yes I also like comics

These are all the Tmnt comics I have so far

5. I don’t know if this is my favourite fun fact or if I’ve already told you or if you already know since you’re super smart. The Latin words for 7 8 9 10 are septem octo novem decem respectively. You may recognize them as the 9-12 months of the year, which you would be correct. It bothered me that it doesn’t match up but they were named during the Julian calendar which started in April (that’s also how April fools started) so with quick comparing I learnt that it STILL DOESNT MATCH UP :|

6. I do have cats. Three of them though

First there’s Meredith he’s the oldest by a month

Then jingles

Skip ahead 5 or 6 years and you got Maggie (this picture was taken after she was spayed and we had to put her cone on when I wasn’t there to watch, she tried to escape while I was at school but just ended up making things worse for herself)

7. Yes of course I do!

Now you answer them! Well except 5 since you kinda already did. And 6 since it was kinda a me specific question. And 1 since I already know your name. And a modified 7 (do you still want to be my friend after this mess of an answer?)

Also go to sleep 🔫

[dojimakaichou]

★. ―

Daigo's lip was curled even before Melissa started to speak. Really, he behaved like a child that just wanted to fight her for the sake of arguing ; were the situation less dire, his obstinance may have been comedic.

In spite of his glower, though, the dragon listened. ― and his expression changed. It fell, becoming less snide, and temporarily shifted to reflect his continued confusion. The promise of constant attention from the queen was enough to send the ancient creature's heart into a frenzied beat. While this was fearsome reaction was related to the concept and not necessarily the woman herself . . . Daigo couldn't deny that Melissa was uniquely striking in appearance. Of all of the humans he had ever seen in his impressive life, she was by far the most attractive to him.

Would it be so bad ?? he wondered. That thought spooked the dragon, who stood suddenly and moved a half - step back. His eyes narrowed at Melissa, lips pressed into a thin line and hands partially raised.

Would it be so bad ?? the yearning thing in his chest asked again. Daigo snarled softly, allowing the sound to roll out between his teeth. The union of a dragon ( particularly one like him ) and a human made no natural sense, but that didn't mean it hadn't ever worked in the world's history. Dragon - born spawned from those couplings still walked the lands with faded bloodlines and no memories of whatever scaled ancestor gave them their gifts. They were proof that dragons and humans could enjoy some sort of relationship together.

It was not something Daigo ever pictured for himself. However, he couldn't deny that Melissa's offer called to the nagging fears that plagued him for millennia now : that what he coveted was wrong. Amethyst dragons were supposed to collect mystical knowledge, which Daigo had done with gusto in his life ( as his fantastical home spoke to ). Part of his unimaginable power was owed to the artifacts buried here. Every item that the dragon received he pulled apart in the hopes of learning its secrets. Yet, with each uncovered spell or learned enchantment, he no longer felt any satisfaction. Those victories were hollow ; bored then, the dragon would always fall asleep after and dream of, deep - down, what he truly wanted. Attention.

Would it be so bad . . . to get it from her ?? Daigo's eyes flicked back to Melissa, and his hands finally fell. His dark irises glittered with a purple hue in the strange light of his home. They were confused but also held a tentative hope. The queen's words warmed him, he realized ― and her scent was strangely calming. Daigo didn't know that his mouth was slightly open again, adding to the strength of Melissa's smell he could take in.

As for the people of Solaris . . . Daigo wasn't confident they would ever grow to love him in the way Melissa suggested, but that didn't matter. The queen was the center of his focus at the moment.

The dragon moved back over her in the chair. This time, his actions were far slower and more careful, as if he was in the presence of a person he invited instead of an intruder. Daigo remained stand - offish, but he behaved with open curiosity. His gaze roamed around Melissa's face freely, taking in the sight of her with greater attention to detail than he did prior.

"I don't care about your people," Daigo huffed quietly, swallowing back the fact that he spoke a half - lie. "Whether they love me or not is unimportant. If their adoration was worth anything to me, I would have stopped killing them generations ago."

A long pause followed his rebuke. Daigo's voice was softer when he spoke next. " ― but you, Queen Melissa of Solaris. You're different." A rattling emphasis was placed on the last word as he hissed it through his teeth. It was like the dragon's acknowledgment of his fascination with the queen needed to be dragged out of him. "I'm interested in your offer as long as you remain the key piece ; I will accept nothing less than the queen I have been promised if I accept. Tell me more, Melissa, about what you call marriage."

Although Melissa lacked the empirical experience of many of the scholars responsible for compiling information on Daigo in the past, even a novice to these interactions could see something had shifted in how he behaved. The way that the dragon's face changed was the key element - but his decided march towards the offered chair and the agitated display of whatever emotions he was feeling were... Quite possibly a lead.

The beast in human shape sounded on the edge - but it was an entirely different tone from the contempt that poured out of the creature when she had tried to appeal to his vanity and pride by rectifying past records. Daigo had almost looked (and sounded) bored, as if speaking to someone (or something) beneath his station and hardly worth his time. Now, however...

It was very hard for the queen to try and stand her ground - but luckily Melissa managed to cling to the idea that something was working. Her words, the proposal - there was a promise of interest to the beast, otherwise he would have burned the trespassing invader to the ground already. That train of thought kept the queen grounded, as well as her duty to the people who expected their ruler to govern and provide for them wisely (although her sanity was surely in check by most of the court's advisers right then).

This close, he was no man - it was impossible to believe him to belong to mankind, but at the same time there was something viscerally relatable in his reactions. That was it, wasn't it? By sheer luck (and backed by the extensive investigation of their ancient scrolls), Melissa had managed to find something that Daigo didn't have and couldn't potentially claim by himself.

Company.

"A partner, my lord. I imagine that you are aware of how humans engage in long-term relationships for several different purposes? One of them is merely companionship; the need to talk to another and be heard; to see and be seen," her eyes didn't leave the dragon's face - the monarch was unsure if that was due to his magical abilities or because he was just so uniquely entrancing. There was a palpable danger to him - a single act and he could either transform or easily mangle her more fragile figure.

What kept pushing Melissa forward was the fact that, so far, she remained in one piece.

"In human terms, I am proposing the equivalent of a marriage - I am offering a place beside at the throne, including the devotion and loyalty of those born under Solarian rule to their sovereign. I do not dispute the notion you are feared, my lord - but have you never thought about the opposite?" the queen paused, a tongue darting out to dry her lips because it felt so impossible dry and hot near Daigo - as if she had been traipsing at the border of a volcano, the regal dress unsuitable for the climate, "I am loved by my people because I look after them. Were you to protect them instead of attacking, why wouldn't you come to be admired and worshipped instead?"

The sound of her heartbeat, the shallow breathing, the force with which Melissa gripped at the chair herself; the woman found herself hyper-aware of everything surrounding the two of them, the tension growing to be something quite tangible. Had she crossed a line (after so many) with Daigo?

Well, at least, if she was to perish at his hands... The monarch was sure she had done everything in her power; and, considering the remarkable look of the beast looming over Melissa, taunting and threatening her claims... It would be an unique way to go, which represented a strange form of consolation to the queen.

[louve-garoue]

*je donne tu dents*

c'est un cadeau

*cligne des yeux*

*une fois*

*deux fois*

*prends les dents*

Merci.... ?

translation and ID of the image under the cut :

xx-dark-dart-xx asked :

*I give you teeth*

it's a gift

*blink*

*once*

*twice*

*take the teeth*

Thanks... ?

ID of the badly photoshoped image- [ an emoji with big red-shot eyes isgaping at their hand which holding teeth.] -end ID.

[ruiyuki]

"Vanitas": The Name and Legacy

Vanitas declares early on that his motive for using the Book of Vanitas to save vampires of the Red Moon is to take "revenge against the Vampire of the Blue Moon". But some of his actions, reactions and expressions seem to contradict a conventional interpretation of "revenge". Seeing how MochiJun is a master of conveying things through facial expressions, nondescript panels, and double meanings, here's my stab at trying to figure out a bit of Vanitas' complexity and his (??hidden??) motives.

⚠️⚠️⚠️ MANGA SPOILERS, obv ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Also this analysis is really long. ‼Continuation in reblogs.‼

For the sake of minimizing confusion I'm going to refer to our!Vanitas as "Vani", Vampire of the Blue Moon (VotBM) as "Luna", and the name "Vanitas"/"Vanitas of the Blue Moon" as a title in this analysis.

0. "Revenge" against the VotBM

Now, what kicked me into this train of thought initially was watching the scene where Vani announces his revenge plot to all during the Bal Masque. Ofc Bones is doing quite a good job with the anime (I can honestly forgive them for leaving out some scenes knowing budget constraints and that this was probably produced during COVID; it's just more reason to get viewers to read the manga) but there are still some subtle nuances that MochiJun puts in her work that don't get translated into the adaptation. So I revisited Memoire 7 and something just didn't sit right upon looking at that scene retrospectively – which I'll get to that in a bit – but first let me recap what is my interpretation of Vani's proclamation:

The origin story we were told at the start of the series illustrates that vampires are typically born under the Red Moon, except for the one born under the Blue Moon. VotBM, given the moniker "Vanitas of the Blue Moon" by others at the time, is said to have created the Book of Vanitas capable of manipulating the World Formulas in order to curse all the RM vampires that casted them out of vampire society. Cursing the RM vampires = turning them into curse-bearers inflicted with malnomen.

Vani's "revenge" against the VotBM is to use their name "Vanitas" and the Book to cure all RM vampires of their curses and malnomen. In that sense, Vani saving the vampires is directly opposing the vow to curse all RM vampires as told in the VotBM origin story.

Vani's revenge claim seems pretty straight forward. There is nothing of the sort as to claiming he will turn the vampires into humans, or rewrite their existence into something they are not, etc. It is literally just "I will heal you from your sickness out of spite towards the thing that wants you to suffer". His feral revenge proclamation on top of the chandelier lines up with his feral "I will save you no matter what, using whatever method I choose" at the end of Memoire 1 as Noé points out:

So here's the thing that felt a little out of place upon my rereading of Memoire 7:

This panel. Idk about you but as a long time reader of Pandora Hearts, imo one thing that makes MochiJun such a talented artist and great storyteller of plot twists and angst is how she depicts emotions in facial expressions – it is very subtle with a certain finesse. With the above panel, Vani's expression doesn't necessarily look like "anger" or "vengeance" to me. Rather (and it took me a while to place it actually, flipping back and forth between newer and older chapters) his expression looks... melancholic? Melancholy with sense of conviction.

It's noteworthy that MochiJun has made an intentional choice to emphasize Vani gripping his closed fist and his distant stare here, so it has to be important. So, what could Vani be thinking of in this moment? And why?

I. Vani's hidden expressions and feelings towards Luna

To (attempt to) figure out what might be going through Vani's mind in this moment, let's take a look at some moments we've seen Vani making different expressions and when he's thinking back to the VotBM – or really, his time with Luna. Vani claims he hates vampires, but there are obvious exceptions (Jeanne, Noé). What's interesting though is that, despite claiming to hate the VotBM, I don't think he hates Luna. He may hate the being that Luna is but I don't think he hates Luna as a person.

We can see the difference between his hatred and active desire to kill Moreau, as well as his completely blank, no-remorse kinda expression toward the Chasseur's cross in the Catacombes arc vs the above panel after his revenge proclamation:

Also contrast the above chandelier expression to Vani's empty look of distain in Dante's flashback when they first meet:

I would say none of these Vani expressions look very similar to the chandelier one — the empty or blank stares are missing a sense of resolve and the teeth-gritting smirk lacks any bit of sadness felt in the scene. Now, when do we ever see Vani make another expression of what I would call melancholy?

Ughghgh these panels break my heart every time bc there is such a sense of sadness, it's distant but palpable and it is t r a g i c... but I digress.

We have no way of knowing what Vani is thinking in these panels but I have a few ideas:

Vani thinks back to something Luna said about how one should use the Book of Vanitas when Noé says using the Book's power to cure curse-bearers is "overwhelmingly right". What Luna said? Who knows, but it may be along the same lines of "despite its power" and "doing the right thing".

Vani realizes the reason Misha wants Noé to drink his blood is bc Misha doesn't remember what happened That Day. He repeats "... I see." twice as if he's reaffirming to himself that he's the only one left that remembers what happened. If Misha did remember, there would be another person to share the memory but Misha doesn't and Vani is alone in the world in that sense.

If we are to assume that this is what's going through Vani's mind in these moments, then we have to ask why? Vani thinking back to his time with Misha and Luna elicits this sadness (possibly likely?) bc Vani did truly enjoy his time with them and didn't actually hate Luna. In his own flashbacks of Luna teaching he and Misha about malnomen (first being Malnomen Prèdateur in the Catacombes arc, second of Chloé's Malnomen Millie) and the flashback of "love" during the Gevaudan Arc, we see that Vani may be grumpy or indifferent while being with Luna, but he is still attentively listening and comfortable enough around them for them to hug him:

Ofc, we can't forget that Vani, in his fever and poison-induced delirium, even mumbles to himself ".. didn't actually hate... I didn't... Lou..—" while recovering in the cabin with Jeanne. Given that just before this he asks "Is that what you really want? Truly?" in response to Jeanne saying "This time for sure, I'll kill the beast", perhaps we can even posit that Vani didn't actually hate Luna and didn't actually want to kill them? (I have another theory on what could have happened on That Day but let's get through this one first *wheeze*).

So let's summarize:

Vani claims he will cure RM vampires of their malnomen as revenge toward the VotBM, who is said to have created the Book of Vanitas to curse RM vampires that made them an outcast.

Curing RM vampires of malnomen = revenge since it is directly opposing using the Book to inflict curses

But Vani shows a look of sadness mixed with conviction that contradicts what would be thought of when claiming "revenge", which could possibly be him thinking back to his time with Luna, whom he did not actually hate and possibly did not want to kill but had to anyway.

So here's my theory: the reason why Vani has assumed the name "Vanitas" and is on a quest to cure RM vampires of their malnomen with the Book of Vanitas is to "rewrite" the reputation behind the name Vanitas of the Blue Moon.

... And I will continue explaining this in the reblogs ⤵️⤵️⤵️ bc holy fuck this meta is so long I have reached the image limit per post asjfklgs

[marsbutterfly]

The Scientist’s Gamble - Part 2

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: As the formation rides out, Hanji takes a moment to meet your eyes, and you smile at her. Today is going to be a win for humanity, you think to yourself. You could not be more wrong.

AO3 Version! | Wattpad Version!

After an hour or so peacefully riding your horses towards the forest, you begin to feel the floor shaking in the distance. Not long after, the first red flare is fired. A Titan. Thinking back on your knowledge acquired studying Titans with Hanji, you know it is a 5m from the way the ground is trembling - not tall enough that it will necessarily take more than a couple of Scouts to kill, but could still cause damage if it wasn't stopped in time.

You move your face to the right, enough so you can look at Hanji to see if this is the one she wants. She shakes her head - she doesn't want a regular titan. You know that that crazy look in her eyes can only mean one thing. She's after an Abnormal. Goosebumps travel up and down your body, and you reposition yourself on your horse to face forward once again. Without even realizing it, a smug smirk spreads across your face. This is going to be so fun!

"Reiner! - " you scream. Your throat hurts from the effort you put into the sound, yet you still prepare yourself to do it again.

" - I need you to ride to the center of the formation. Inform the Commander that if an Abnormal appears, bring it closer to us. Tell them they should not kill it unless absolutely necessary!"

"Of course," Reiner screams back, allowing his cloak to fall back against his shoulders. His blonde hair ruffles in the wind, a ridiculous smile plastered across his face, "but I'm just curious," he says, and you know exactly what's about to come out of his mouth before he says it as he yells, "Who the fuck put you in charge?"

Before you even have time to laugh at his stupid comeback, the beautiful brown haired scientist riding alongside you responds, "I did!"

Eyes wide, his lips scrunch up as he turns away to avoid eye contact with you and Hanji.

"Now go, Reiner!" Hanji says.

"Yes ma'am!", is all he says before he steers his horse left and rides out of sight. He doesn't give you the chance to say anything in response.

You can feel the laughter bubbling up in your chest, from deep in your throat to burst out of your mouth. You try to hold it in until the blonde soldier is out of sight, but you know he can hear you.

Tears form in your eyes as your stomach starts to hurt. You just can't keep it in. The look on Reiner's face is the funniest thing you've seen in a long while. Once you finally manage to slow down and take a deep breath to pull yourself together, you look over to Hanji to find she's been carefully watching you the whole time.

"Thank you for defending me!", you shout, flashing her the biggest smile you can manage.

"Of course! I'm not going to let anyone undermine you! You are my second in command right now! You know me better than anyone else! That's what makes you such an amazing assistant," her grin widens, "and an amazing friend!"

You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks once again, but before you can reply, you notice something in the corner of your eye.

It's a black flare.

You and Hanji lock eyes for a brief moment before you both let out an excited scream at the same time - "LET'S GO!"

.

You can see it now. The Titan is easily 7 meters tall, if not taller. It has blonde hair and brown eyes, and a relatively normally-proportioned body and facial features, but you notice it's walking with a strange limp. At its ankles, the Titan's feet were pointed in the opposite direction they should be. Yet, it runs ahead eagerly as if nothing is different. You've never even thought this was possible.

Perfect! You think to yourself.

You stand up on your horse and switch to your 3D maneuver gear. You shoot your grapples around the top of a tree branch and swing on top to land on your feet with a sense of balance that you're proud of. Multiple horses ride toward where you and the rest of the Scouts stand above them. The massive titan follows the Scouts closely, too close for anyone's comfort, but they're not giving up.

Once the monster is close enough, you and Hanji share a look before you run towards it, preparing yourselves to jump down on its shoulders, cut off its limbs, and strap it to the floor before it regenerates.

Data collected on previous missions showed that it takes approximately 4 minutes for its arms to regenerate, but it shouldn't take you that long to trap it. You're all extremely prepared for this, you've practiced for this and almost every other situation.

Now it's the time to prove you know what you're doing - except nothing could have prepared you for what came next.

The trap used to capture the titan is a fraction of a second late. You're already in the air, arms flung back in preparation to cut its underarm when you notice something is wrong.

Everything happens in slow motion as you see it's massive arm intercept the cables of your grapples, yanking you like a yo-yo across the trees. Your body collides against one of the many enormous trees surrounding you. The pain shoots all over your body. It is too intense, and your vision gets more clouded by the second. You could hear Hanji screaming your name, but you didn't stay conscious for much longer than that.

A few minutes pass by, but the damage caused by the titan makes it seem like much longer. You could see bodies all around you, at least 10, 15. Your comrades, your friends, dead because of a mistake out of your control.

Huh?  you think, and that's all that goes through your brain at moment. There is blood dripping down your face, and you're unable to tell if it's yours, the Titan's, or to one of the many bodies lying next to you.

A 5m titan wanders closer to you with every second, and somehow you manage to pull all the strength left in you. Your body is finally forced to sit up, despite all the pain, in your head, your bones, your heart.

"Why is this happening? This is not how today was supposed to go. We prepared for this expedition for weeks!" suddenly you stop talking. Your mind starts spinning as you desperately look amongst the pile of bodies, searching for one in particular.

"H-Hanji?" you manage to force out a whisper, but as soon as you take a deep breath, all the pain you were feeling, the grief for your fallen comrades, the rage towards titans, "HANJI!"

As you become more aware of your surroundings, the warm blood dripping down your face and the pain of your broken ribs are almost enough to make you stop fighting, but a small voice in the back of your head says: You need to find a way out of this forest and back home. You can't let the titans win!

You grab your blades and swing them with all your might, trying your hardest to keep the 5M Titan away for as long as you can until you have a plan. The truth is you just can't die now, but you also can't fight for much longer as you feel your body starting to cave in. The pain from your ribs is becoming unbearable, and your lungs feel like they will collapse at any moment. With every breath is getting harder to breathe. You want to keep fighting for longer, but in your condition, it just doesn't seem possible.

It's alright Y/N, you think to yourself, Your efforts weren't enough, but that's ok. Putting the blade down, you accept your fate, but hopefully, it will be quick. You close your eyes as the massive hands wrap around your already crushed body.

"Oh no, you don't!" someone screams, and their voice is the last thing you hear before passing out once again.

.

You wake up to a bright light shining in your face. Your eyes open slowly, groggily.

Is this the afterlife? No. You can hear the saline dripping, in what kind of afterlife would you be hooked up to an IV in?

The pain in your head travels all over your body as if it's using your veins to move around. You try to readjust, but stop when a new pain shoots through your chest. You count one, two, three broken ribs. It could be worse. At least you're still alive. Your eyes slowly travel down the bruises that cover your body. Some scratches, stitches, broken fingers and toes. You are not even certain that you still have all of your teeth.

The shape beside you shifts ever so slightly, but it's enough to catch your attention. You turn to look, and into focus comes Hanji. Her head lay on her arms, which rest on top of your mattress next to your right hand. This is one of the few times you've ever seen her hair down - it looks a little messy, but it's still as beautiful as ever. Her glasses are folded on the bedside table in front of her. How long has she been sitting here?

"Han...ji..?" The effort you put into making the sound for only her name to come out is considerable. It scratches and burns, to your frustration, but the weak noise is enough to get her attention.

"You're awake!" she says as tears fill her tired brown eyes. "I was so worried about you - please don't ever do that to me again!" A small hiccup forms in the back of her throat. Her lower lip quivers.

The mere sight of Hanji crying is enough to shatter your heart. You try your best to comfort her within your confines. You reach to touch her hand, eyes softening. The sharp pain of your ribs again forces you to gently recline your back on your pillow once again, but you hold her hand tightly.

"What happened?" you ask.

"The Abnormal we were trying to trap moved faster than anticipated it would. The soldiers fired the net approximately 1.9 seconds late but it was enough to derail the entire plan."

She lifts your hand to plant a kiss on it, almost like she was buying herself time before she had to tell you what the rest of the losses were. Flashes of memories come back to you snippets at a time, not enough to give you a full understanding of what happened, but enough to make your heart sink.

Hanji continues, "Your jump would have been perfectly timed if everything had gone according to plan. When the Titan got out, it tangled your line, and you went flying into a tree." You remember the pain you felt at that moment, you've never felt anything like that before. You could remember clearly the sound your ribs made as they broke.

"After that, it became clear to everyone that our mission had failed, and by the time Commander Erwin gave the retreat order, the Abnormal had already eaten everyone around you. Your body was laying among all the corpses around you and I thought I lost you forever -" Hanji abruptly cuts herself off. She catches her breath and closes her eyes to compose herself.

"I heard you scream my name. I ran back to find you, and you were in the Titan's hand. I couldn't let that happen, obviously. I cut off its arm and caught you while Captain Levi went for the nape. I carried your body to the medic's cart, and I haven't left you since."

"How long?" you croak.

Hanji sighs, "Four days."

"And you've been here the whole time?"

Hanji smiles. "I only left for bathroom breaks."

You roll your eyes, but for a few moments, you forget about the pain covering every inch of you. You were never one for impulsivity but now, your body moves on its own. You're more than familiar with how this scene plays out - you think about it constantly. Your hands shake, and you feel your nerves getting worse the longer it takes.

You've been wanting to do for this for years, and now you have the perfect moment. After what happened, you need to kiss her, even if it's the only time you ever do. So, gently but quickly enough that you can't take it back, you grab her face and pull her to your lips. As they seal together, Hanji is taken by surprise, but just as quickly melts away in your embrace. She places her arms on your shoulders as you deepen the kiss.

It's exactly the way you imagined it would be. Goosebumps rise on your body in response to her soft breath against your mouth. A tiny sob escapes your lips as you're all at once reminded you of how much it hurts to move. But that doesn't stop you. After what feels like hours, you pull away reluctantly. You don't want this moment to ever end.

The bright red blush covering her cheeks makes her look even prettier than usual. She gently touches her lips, looking off into the distance like she's lost in thought.

You pull her back into the moment "Squad Leader..." you begin, taking a deep breath and forming fists with your hands. You gather every ounce of courage you have in you. It's now or never. "I've been in love with you for quite some time, and I should've said something before but I was scared."

Once you've started talking, the words pour out of your mouth.

"Now that I almost became Titan food, I don't want to keep it in any longer. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you're talking about Titans. I love the way your hair falls over your shoulders when you're training, and the way you adjust the straps of your glasses. I could sit here and list everything that's great about you because you are the most amazing person I have ever met."

Your hands start to shake, and your throat burns with effort, but you push out your most important statement. "I'm deeply and completely in love with you, Hanji."

Her mouth hangs open slightly.

Did I just make a huge mistake? It doesn't matter - I had to get this off my chest, you think to yourself.

She's extremely quiet for a few seconds - no more than a minute, but enough time for you to start panicking.

"Since when?" she asks.

"Since I listened to your guest lecture on titans when I was still in the Training Corps."

"Why haven't you said anything up until now?"

You can't help but laugh. "Everyone in the Survey Corps, and probably everyone in the entire military already knows. I just assumed you weren't interested."

"Huh?? I've never noticed!!" she says, waving her hands above her head. You laugh again as you readjust yourself on the bed. "But now that I think about it, I guess you did hug me a lot for no apparent reason... and Erwin did insist that you be my assistant..." she counts off on her fingers, "and you always blushed when I touched you and - oh wait."

She looks down at her legs, her fingers flying to fidget with her hair. "I can't believe I didn't notice..." Her blush spreads deeper once the realization hits her. "The truth is, I've been liking you too, but I thought you liked Captain Levi, or Eren."

You wrinkle your nose, shaking your head. Hanji laughs, standing up to wave you over to the other side of the bed. She lies beside you on the hospital bed, placing her head on your shoulder while carefully lacing your fingers together. She's careful not to bump your injuries. The smell of her hair awakens the butterflies in your stomach, and you place your chin on her head to wrap your free arm around her shoulder.

"I'm glad you're alive." Hanji says. Her voice is barely audible, her words meant for you alone. "From now on, I won't leave your side. You'll be out in the forest killing titans in no time."

You smile. "Right now, there's no other place that I'd rather be than right here next to you." She looks up at your face, flashing you a grin before she pulls you closer, and your lips close against each other once again.

.

A week later, you listen to birds chirp outside of the window while you read your book. The sunlight feels warm and nice against your legs, and the rare silence you're in is much appreciated. It doesn't last long.

"Y/N!!!!!!!!!"

The door barges open to reveal a gaggle of teenagers stumbling over one another.

"Y/N! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" Sasha yells as she runs to hold your hand, but her attention quickly shifts to the half-eaten bean soup on your bedside table. She looks at the soup, and then at you once again.

"You can have it, Sasha," you say with a smile, gesturing to the small bowl. The starved brown-haired girl doesn't lose a second and instantly starts to devour it. A giggle escaping your body as you watch her.

"How are you feeling?" Eren asks before sitting on the bed.

"I'm alright, but I'll need to stay behind during the next few expeditions. I should be good as new in a month or two!"

They stay with you for a little less than an hour, telling you all about their experiences with the failed mission. You find out from them which soldiers were lost and which were injured, along with other small details Hanji didn't mention.

A knock on the door causes all eyes to turn away from you for a moment. Hanji starts to enter, and then gasps as she realizes you have guests.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks.

You flash her a caring smile while reaching your hand out to grab hers. She blushes slightly, but sits beside you. "Of course not. I was wondering where you were," you say. Mikasa makes eye contact with you, and then looks pointedly at your hands as they sit clasped. You blush too.

"Meeting with the Commander," Hanji sighs, "It went on for longer than expected, I'm sorry."

You could hear the giggles coming from your friends as their eyes rest upon you and Hanji.

"We should get going now, but we'll be sure to come over again soon!" Armin says as he and Mikasa push the rest of the group through the door.

Hanji leans forward to kiss your forehead. You close your eyes, and when you open them, you meet Mikasa's emotionless gaze from a crack in the doorway, Hanji's lips still on you. Your eyes widen, but Mikasa just nods, face unchanged, and closes the door behind herself.

"They're good friends to you," Hanji says after a few seconds.

You smile."They're also a handful. But yeah, you're right."

A long, rather comforting silence passes between the two of you. During the silence, you take time to focus on how soft her skin feels against your fingers, tracing the visible veins on her hand as your mind drifts away. You're pulled back to reality as soon as you hear her voice.

"It's a beautiful day outside, would you like to sit on the grass with me?"

.

The breeze rushes through your messy hair as you adjust yourself on top of the blanket. You squint your eyes and places your arm against your forehead in an attempt to keep the sunshine from hurting your vision.

"There's something I want to ask you, Hanji," you mumble.

"Yes?" She inquires, tilting her head while looking at you.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" The expression on your face remains the same as when you had been peacefully basking in the sun, but you can hear your blush rushing, heart pounding in your ears. She looks away while blushing, and you're able to notice a smile appear on her face.

"There's nothing I would like more," she says, turning to face you once again. "Well maybe an abnormal, but I do want this a lot."

"You're impossible!" you say while gently pushing her arm.

As you two laugh, your bodies get closer as if they are moving on their own until your lips are sealed in a love-filled kiss. You wrap your arms around her neck while she grabs your hips, slowly pulling you onto her lap.

"I'm in love with you, Hanji." you whisper against her lips, not wanting anyone else to hear these words but her.

"And I'm in love with you, Y/N."

You hug her tightly, feeling her hair against your face as the smell of her shampoo fills your nose. For the first time since you started to prepare for the now-failed mission that led to your injury, your body isn't in pain anymore. You can relax in Hanji's arms, knowing that your long time crush is finally your partner. You can worry about researches and experiments and missions later, right now all you need is Hanji.

"Let's stay here for a little while longer," she says before resting her back against the grass, carefully pulling you towards her. Your head rests on her shoulder as your fingers lace together, a feeling of peace takes over your body knowing that from now on, you'll have her by your side no matter what.

"Yeah... I would like that." You say as you close your eyes, focusing on her breathing as the warmth of the sun and the gentle breeze lull you to sleep. Maybe the next time Hanji comes up with the idea to capture another titan, you'll stay in the lab instead.

[the-pallid-king]

“I can’t really argue with that, but it doesn’t fix anything.” But that’s true of a lot of things, so he shrugs. And he doesn’t care anymore because he likes the way you smirk at him.

“That could be a while. I don’t think about ice cream much.” He has as much of a sweet tooth as anyone else, but it’s not at the top of his list. Like you, he might try it if it’s already there. “Hm. Just for something to do with your mouth, I guess. It can help with stress, keep your mouth from getting dry, clean your teeth a little, and it tastes good usually. I like cinnamon.” He taps the side of your lip. “But it might burn your virgin mouth, so you should start with something light. Wait, do you even feel spice burns? Do you taste human food at all?” Hollow anatomy is kind of fascinating. He wishes he could’ve taken a class on it. He nods absently. He’s pretty content to do anything you want. It’s fun to watch you try things.

He snorts. “You don’t mean to make a sad face. That doesn’t mean you don’t. It’s awful.” And effective. He shakes his head though. “I didn’t want to get rid of it. I really did sleep with all your stupid blankets while you were gone. And I threw them out the window once.” He can remember if he already admitted to that.

He doesn’t realize until he sees your sword where you left it, how much more comfortable he is since deciding how to handle Seireitei. They didn’t take any weapons beside themselves. And he was fine. Now that he’s made up his mind that there won’t be any going back, he’s wary, but not necessarily afraid. It’s been a long time since he wasn’t afraid. He opens the pills and breaks two out of the package and swallows them with water from his hand under the tap, looking after you even though you’re out of sight. “Maybe.” But he smirks, taking another drink before shutting the water off. “I thought you had an entirely separate sense for locating blankets. Like a seventh sense. You never had any trouble sniffing them out before, no matter how well I hid them.”

"Yeah." You're right. He doesn't have much to add to it.

"Oh. That's ok, we'll have time. You said you weren't sure I'd like it anyway, 'cause it's cold." He could and probably would curl up in a blanket while he tried it, or maybe just make you keep him warm if it's as cold as it sounds. You say gum is a way to keep your mouth busy and his brain goes straight to biting you and that seems like a way better way to keep his mouth occupied. But then you poke at him and he thinks about biting you again, but differently, specifically that finger. "My virgin mouth." He says a little dryly. But ok, you're jab is kind of fair. He shrugs. "I dunno. I haven't tried very many things. What I have tried definitely tastes like... It didn't taste like nothing. I just assumed it always tastes like it's supposed to. Spice burn is different than coffee or water heat.." There's a slight questioning tone to his voice, but context clues are telling him it's different than temperature. "Next time you have something that's supposed to have spice, tell me and I'll let you know if it burns."

His brows furrow while he tries to decide if you're serious or if you're teasing him. "I do not. Even if I did, why would it be awful? I'm pretty good at most things I do." Which is says mostly just to be a shit because he thinks you're just being a shit. Like he'd make a sad face. Pfft. "Oh, you mentioned– Hey, they're not stupid." He frowns, not exactly offended, per se, rather something less heated but still close. He blinks. "Why would you throw them out a window? What'd they ever do to you besides keep you warm?"

From the other side of the apartment, he hears the water running. "Maybe?" What's maybe mean? He wanted a yes or a no. Maybe doesn't help him find what he's looking for. Though, since Kon took it upon himself to rearrange things, you probably have no real idea. His eyes narrow. Kon probably touched his blankets.... Then he snorts. "Blanket sonar sounds nice." Except- he straightens and looks in your general direction. "You were hiding them? I always figured you were just... I dunno, trying to put 'em away. Organize, or whatever." Wow. Rude. He peeks into a different box. "They don't smell like me anymore. It's like territory marking, kinda. But now they blend with everything else." He'll make sure that changes when they're here long enough to do so. Lots of sleeping in them will fix it.

[goodguyjean]

Oh wow. You are the perfect person to answer this question for me and I don't know why I didn't think to ask you till now. Just how good of friends do you think Jean was with Marco? Because if you look at the manga alone, they seem to be no closer to each other than the rest of the top 10. However if you look at the anime, smart pass content, spin offs, the wings of freedom game, the guidebook, all things isayama apparently had his hand in.. They do. What do you think their canon friendship was?

Hiya anon!

By my definition of canon for thepurposes of meta-analysis—i.e. something that appears explicitly within themain series of manga—I think that Marco and Jean are actually not particularlyclose; rather, I think there’s a hint at their potential for a good friendship,and part of what Jean mourns at the mass funeral is that potential. Incontrast, the anime sets them up as friends from their trainee days, makingMarco’s loss a more personal experience for Jean, one which can potentiallyinstill a desire for revenge in him. Therefore, I think the Smart Pass AUinterview and the extra content in the guidebook are, depending on Isayama’sactual level of involvement with them, retcons to align the manga’spresentation of Jean and Marco’s relationship more closely with the anime’s.

I got out pictures again, so furtherexplanation is under the cut!

My approach to canon is admittedly differentthan Isayama’s, and so may require some explanation. Isayama seems to operateas if all things set in the Attack onTitan universe are canon, that the anime can “fix” things he didn’t likeabout the manga, and that when something changes in the anime he needs to makethat adjustment in the manga as well (see, for instance, the fate of Armin’sfamily or the change to Ymir’s teeth when she was a mindless titan). As such,even though Jean never discusses Marco after the Female Titan arc in the manga,I believe that (assuming Isayama does really oversee these extras to a certaindegree) he considers the changes the anime makes to Jean and Marco’s relationshipcanon. However, for better or for worse, I tend to read series as “enclosed”:my rationale is that there’s a coherent story in the manga that stands alone,regardless of what the author says outside of the text or what others add ontoit. In this case, the canon of the manga does not present Marco and Jean asespecially close, to my mind.

All that being said, I think it’s totallypossible to look at the exact same scenes in canon and come to a differentconclusion than I have; I just wanted to specify my parameters. For the intentsand purposes of this discussion, even if Isayama changed the nature of Marcoand Jean’s relationship outside of the manga, it doesn’t automatically have abearing on what is actually shown to us in the text.

And what’s in the text makes me thinkthat Marco may tolerate Jean better than most of the other cadets (the majorityof whom really don’t seem to like him) and vice versa, but there doesn’t seemto be much evidence of a friendship that rivals the bond between EMA or Reinerand Bertolt, for instance. In canon, I think the real shock Jean experiences atMarco’s death is, to borrow Jean’s own words, that Marco was a “goody-goody.” 

Chapter 3.

InAmerica we might jokingly term him an “Eagle Scout”, someone who always has the“right” answers, who gets the grades, and who is generally considered to be apillar of the community. To Jean’s mind, Marco was this kind of person, and yethe still died. If Marco, whom Jean clearly thought of as a leader-type in spiteof his suspicion of authority, couldn’t stand against the titans, anyone couldbe next. It’s a startling moment for Jean because he’s been claiming that he’sa realist who expects the titans to eventually destroy all humans, that it’s betterto just look after yourself because no one else was going to do it, and yetsome part of him still wants to believe in someone more community-minded likeMarco. His decision to join the Survey Corps is predicated on the idea that noone is safe until the titan threat is eliminated, not even someone like Marco,and therefore Jean needs to work with the Corps if he wants to help hiscomrades.

… comrades he might be more attachedto than he previously realized, before Marco’s death.

I think what fandom projects from theanime into the manga is the idea that Jean joins the Survey Corps out of asense of highly personalized loss, but I can’t quite justify that readingbecause Isayama does very little in the manga to establish Jean and Marco’slink as unique and precious to both of them. Jean and Marco only have twoscenes together over the entire course of the manga (the flashback to Marco’s discussion of leadership and the graduation party), and Jean is neverotherwise seen hanging out with Marco during the training sequences (althoughthere are a few flashback panels scattered throughout the later chapters whereJean and Marco will be standing next to each other in group shots; since theycome later in the manga, this looks like more retconning—hard to say!). Instead, his primary companion pre-Trost appears to be this guy:

Chapter 3.

Chapter 17.

Chapter 17. 

We never get a name for Mr. Long-HairedDude, and he only has one line of dialogue. He never appears outside of thesesequences as far as I can remember, and Jean never goes looking for him afterthe events of Trost. Their “friendship” has no bearing on the story, other thanthat it doesn’t appear to be significantly meaningful for either of them,indicating that Jean isn’t really invested in making real friends initially—he thinkshe can do pretty much everything all by himself. It’s a flimsy relationship, lacking in the kind of meaning that will later be teased with Marco and fulfilled with Armin, Eren, and the others. The function this nameless young man serves is to show that Jean is avoiding real connection with his fellows, preferring something shallow and convenient over something more challenging but ultimately more rewarding like a friendship with Marco or one of the others.

The anime replaces thismystery cadet with Marco, adding a closer friendship between Marco and Jeaninto the story, which it then uses to heighten the emotions around Marco’sdeath. From a practical perspective, I understand this move on the anime’spart. Drawing an extra character who doesn’t really do anything is a hassle, and you want to maximize a character’s impact on a story wherever possible. However, this deviation changes the meaning of Marco’s death from what I laid out above,making it more personal. Whereas in the manga the shock is that someone asuniversally beloved and upstanding as Marco dies while someone as “weak” asJean survives, the anime turns it into the death of a particular friend.

Jean expresses surprise that someone like Marco could die, chapter 18.

This move, in turn, brings Jean’smotivations for joining the Survey Corps closer to Eren’s: the anime suggeststhat Jean is interested in seeking revenge for Marco. Although I can understandthat Long-Haired Dude is essentially deadweight, I was also a little annoyed atJean’s story aligning so closely with Eren’s—in the manga, Jean is not lookingto settle a score, but to prevent further death if at all possible. He issurprised at Marco’s death, and then surprised at being surprised: Jean is notthe cynical pessimist he thought he was. He has this more idealistic andhopeful side to him, and this is part of what prompts him to do something “irrational”and community-minded like joining the Survey Corps. In the anime, he startsdown the same slippery slope as Eren, as we can see in the scene where he attacksAnnie’s crystal.

Episode 25, Jean yelling at Annie’s crystal.

As to their actual relationship incanon, I think Jean respects Marco more than a lot of the other cadets(although we learn later that he greatly respects Reiner, Armin, Mikasa, andeven—although he doesn’t want to admit it—Eren) while Marco can sense Jean’sidealistic side and therefore can tolerate Jean better. Consequently, Marco’suntimely death is particularly sad because there is a potential for friendship there that Jean never really acts upon,sticking instead to the company of a guy who appears a little sycophantic (atleast, he listens to Jean’s bragging with a smile), but who doesn’t formulate areal friendship with Jean based on mutual respect. Marco, unlike the othercadets, saw some of the idealism that was actually the core of Jean’s cynicism(he’s trying not to care because he does actually care), and once he’s goneJean perhaps realizes that he doesn’t want to miss out on such an opportunityfor friendship again.

Jean respects Marco, chapter 18.

Marco being kind to Jean, chapter 18.

Jean realizes he’s connected to his fellow comrades, that doesn’t want to lose anymore potential friends, chapter 18.

So, to conclude, if I was going to takea stab at Jean’s cryptic line about burned bones in chapter twenty-three (whichis really confusing because of all the different and, quite frankly, vaguetranslations), I might suggest putting the emphasis on the idea of “identification.”I think Marco’s death makes Jean realize that he doesn’t want to live his lifewithout human connection, to the point where no one would mourn if he died. Alternatively,he could also be suggesting that he sees value in forming relationships andventuring outside the wall with his comrades at his own personal risk, becausethen at least he won’t, in theory, have to mourn them at a mass grave without knowingwho they were or what exactly happened to them. Although Jean retains hiscynicism and suspicion of authority, his prickly personality and his commitmentto being honest, Marco’s death does change him: he realizes that he doesn’twant to live his life without real friends, that looking out for number onedoesn’t necessarily protect him from the pain of loss—he’ll just mourn missedopportunities and “what ifs”, even if he is spared deep personal pain.

“'Tis better to have loved and lost/ Thannever to have loved at all.”- Canto 27, “In Memoriam,” A.H.H, Alfred Tennyson.

Thanks for the note anon! Sorry if my response a bit garbled, I’m still recovering a bit from my quals (… that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it xD). 

Edit: @julystorms has a good answer to this question (though maybe you are the same anon lol), you can find it here :) We agree that Jean is mourning a potential friendship more than an actual one.