#and I haven't read the books yet so idk if any touch on it

[realest-nilou-kinnie]

every single time i'm reading anything about him, fan fiction or not, and someone describes him as lazy, i can't help but blurt out loud to myself, "he's not lazy" and sort of roll my eyes. It's in his character bio in the game for crying out loud: he doesn't see the point in trying anymore because every time he has ever tried in his life, he has been shot down and shown that nothing he does will ever matter.

self-indulgent elaboration under the cut

also, i would argue that it's about as clear as can be that he is "rude" on purpose to push people away...because he knows he was born in a silver spoon in his mouth and thinks he doesn't deserve people being nice to him. of COURSE he is snarky and snappy when he gets the chance, he WANTS people to stay away from him. He does NOT, however, want them to talk behind his back, i dont think. We know it hurts him. He doesn't want them to whisper that he's dangerous and he could probably kill everyone within a 50 foot radius with his UM at a moment's notice. Which is true. I think he's afraid of that possibility (and I believe in the novel it's described as being a volatile spell that other second princes have been effectively cursed with, and that he could accidentally kill people around him. That's why he grew up overhearing the palace servants whispering about the spell as if it was already a known UM.)

I know we don't know how he got his scar yet, other than it being something he clearly doesn't want to remember, but I can't help but wonder how he first "got" his UM. It isn't one he developed like Azul did, for example. He was born with that being the UM he would one day manifest. I definitely have ideas about how he got his scar and how it could relate to the advent of a Unique Magic like his, but I DO NOT think he killed or seriously hurt someone. I think the King's Roar spell has been popping up in previous generations of the Sunset Savanah royal family in second-born sons, and the people know it can lay waste to everything around the user. Even the things the user didn't touch or mean to affect start to turn to sand, like the air. Idk i just think his magic hasn't killed someone but I think he and everyone around him knows it could. From past experience, if you will. So maybe he showed signs of it being his UM and people FREAKED out as if he killed someone. That can be really damaging for a kid.

With this in mind, how could it be any clearer that he is trying to push people away? Now, allow me to be a blatant Leona Kisser on main (joke intended, that's my sideblog @leona-kingscholar-kisser LOL), but....HE'S NOT EVEN DOING THAT GOOD OF A JOB OF PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY. BECAUSE HE ISN'T A NATURAL AT IT!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 I'm not saying he craves connection, yet, because i haven't seen his part in book 7, but he definitely is not just meanspirited. He doesn't enjoy pushing people away, he feels that he has no choice in order to not hurt others. Isn't that the most selfless thing of all?

Knowing how he was treated as a child during his formative years, I'd say every glimpse of kindness and generosity and selflessness and passion for life he shows is indicative of someone who is all of those things even more so than it would be for someone who had no adverse childhood experiences. To me, the fact that he is all these things even in the face of the agony he must feel looking in the mirror every day means he is an even better person than someone who only does the right thing to earn praise and be celebrated. Character is doing the right thing even when no one is watching and all that.

I literally could write 50 paragraphs about him with MLA citations, but here is what i mainly wished to impress upon the part of twstblr whom i think are a wee bit confused about his characterization:

examples of Leona not being a massive sack of shit:

he pretends not to notice when Ruggie steals jewelry from him just about daily, but he doesn't outright give it to him because that would be too philanthropic for his image. He lets Ruggie think he's getting away with it. He doesn't want a "thank you" because he thinks he doesn't deserve it

he lets Ruggie bring his own laundry to be washed together with Leona's, while giving him his credit card to buy the nicest detergent and anything else he might want to buy at the Mystery Shop

the reason he doesn't wear his uniform jacket isn't because he just wants to break the dress code or make a statement, it's probably because he gave it to Ruggie. Hence why Ruggie's jacket is massive on him.

he skips his classes because he already knows everything they're teaching. he always shows up for tests, meaning he does keep track of when they are.

- personal note: he had all the NRC-level material drilled into him from a younger age than most as a prince. That level of focus on academics takes away time in your youth that you feel like your peers are spending having fun and having social lives. If i were him, going to classes where everyone around him got to learn something for the first time that he had been forced to memorize years ago would be really hard. It might be a reminder of how he had to grow up too soon. I personally relate a lot to being faced with the reality that every other student in your class didn't have the same amount of academic pressure put on them that you did and wanting to just curl up and cry at your desk. Being in classes where you already know everything or where other kids clearly have a lot less pressure on them can make you feel even more alone and hopeless and unloved than you already felt. it makes you grieve all the weeks and years of feeling like a workhorse instead of a child that you'll never get back. So i guess in that way I'm biased towards him and I completely support him skipping class :'3

he only got held back because of missed attendance. here are two important notes about that, in my opinion:

- firstly, he obviously doesn't want to go home. he also feels unenthusiastic about the 4th year internships even though he's going to take one in his home country and hopes to make some positive changes using his ideas. Still, he knows it will not come with the recognition and appreciation from his family he wants. Even if his ideas for oil mining fracking 🤮 bring great economic growth and can feed the children starving like Ruggie was, I doubt his older brother would see Leona for what he is or praise him as things stand now. hopefully that will come later in the story

- secondly, he wants to be held back and stay at NRC another year so his dorm can win the Spelldrive tournament against Diasomnia. He literally says that's the reason he is so desperate to for HIS TEAM (not him) to win that he puts himself in the position to be the bad guy and make the hard decisions he thinks he has to in Book 2! With the actual Spelldrive team, it's slightly different because Malleus isn't involved. It's interesting. In his Spelldrive Uniform home screen dialogues, he says winning is more important than doing your best... because he thinks his team wouldn't be happy with coming in second even knowing they did their best. I think he is blinded by self-hatred. I don't think what he seems to think is actually true. I think Epel and Jack and Ace and all the Savanaclaw members who bawled their eyes out when they thought he was turned into a Tsum are just happy to receive guidance from him. That makes him different from Azul or Kalim or Idia as housewardens, for example. They literally cry lollll. He knows all his Spelldrive players and they literally never shut the fuck up about how good of a coach he is and how attentive he is to their strengths and weaknesses. He doesn't even try to change them! He doesn't insult or belittle Epel when he wants to train to aim better, he literally just compliments how he is a great player in other ways and tells him not to change a thing. For no reason, bitch. He's such a fucking softie.

he buys us a drink in one of his chats, saying he "knows how to reward good service 😒". oh come on bro you're not fooling anyone, you probably weren't even thirsty anyway

he only went to Playful Land to keep an eye on the underclassmen because he's always like that. smfh

finally, if you pay close attention, he's really only rude to people who disrespect him first. OR to people who try to drag him into annoying shenanigans he doesn't want to be involved with. if someone did all that to me during a depressive episode i'd bite their head off, too -- which is every day because i have major clinical treatment-resistant depression and i feel like i know how he feels. i get where he's coming from :( and then they all STILL call him lazy. that is so fucking mean and hurtful. he is doing what he can. he's just sick. he is enough.

okay that's all i can think of right now i just really wanted to elaborate because AHHHHHHH. AAUUGHHHHH. EEEEEUEUUUUUUUUUUAUAG HE IS NOT LAZY AND HES NOT A DICK HE JUST HATES HIMSELF AND NONE OF IT IS HIS FAULT

and while i'm on the subject, Leona is actually NOT lazy or arrogant or selfish at all but some of yall are not ready for that conversation lol

[tenojan-in-tevinter]

Ok ok ok wait. If elves came from spirits who wanted to be physical people, and dwarves came from titans, where did humans come from? I refuse to believe they just "showed up" one day out of nowhere, and I am tired of the fantasy trope of "they came from some mysterious unknown land across the sea that no one remembers anymore" especially since that's the qunari already.

Were they native to thedas? Did they come from the land to the south that's now long since frozen to the point no one can explore it anymore? From west of the anderfels? Were they also invented by the evanuris somehow? Is the maker actually somehow real too and made humans? Is thedas secretly some post-apocalyptic earth and there are humans in other unseen lands? I'm so curious

[fragmented-tales]

\\ life outside of tumblr has been eating all my time lately, but like...

Someone has to take the Grim Effigy Reaper skin from me before I make a whole verse- //

[clonerightsagenda]

May I ask what the 'no sex in space' rant is? Zero G sounds like fun :<

The space sex rant is my passion. Possibly because I have no emotional investment in the act so when it gets broken down into weird biology and mechanics by the cruel forces of physics, I find it kind of fascinating.

Sticking this below the cut because it will get long. My primary source is Packing for Mars by Mary Roach, but A City on Mars gets into the same issues. Yes, at least two books have entire chapters devoted to the space sex problem.

Note that this is all assuming microgravity. Many of the problems go away if you have artificial gravity, which we haven't cracked yet beyond building centrifuges. Your Star Trek fanfics are safe. So without further ado, and in no particular order, reasons why you probably shouldn't have sex in zero gravity and it probably wouldn't be that fun if you did:

The infamous 'no boners in space'. Since we're evolved to live in gravity, our bodies compensate for it by putting more effort into getting fluids above our heart. In microgravity, that's unnecessary, so you end up with fluid shift - more fluids, including blood, in the upper body. Your total blood volume also goes down. This would make an erection more difficult, and in fact most astronauts interviewed for whom this would be relevant claimed they didn't get any. The outlier here is Mike Mullane, but having read his memoir, he is the kind of guy who would lie about that. Now, as I touched on while despairingly liveblogging Barrayar, that does not prevent you from having a good time. However less blood flow would presumably mean less sensation in general for anyone below the belt. Or if you stimulated too much blood flow, with the lower total blood volume, perhaps that 'got dizzy because I got horny' joke will actually come true.

In microgravity, body heat and CO2 don't disperse the same way they do in regular atmosphere. Astronauts have to make sure they sleep in well-ventilated areas and are also trained on symptoms of CO2 poisoning. If multiple people are in an area exerting themselves, that buildup will happen faster and would need to be taken into account. It would be super embarrassing to suffocate crammed into a closet for some hanky panky.

The laws of motion are not your friend here. I've seen videos of astronauts pushing themselves across the room with a strand of hair. If you're trying to hold onto someone, you'd either want a relatively small space (maybe not a great idea, see point 2) or hold on really well. One astronaut Mary Roach interviewed suggested duct tape. Perhaps fuzzy handcuffs are critical here. Still you're going to need to put a lot of thought into every move you make.

Space is gross. :( Right now astronauts just wipe themselves down with clothes and dry shampoo. "Skin flakes" is a serious problem. Also we're still not entirely sure why, but astronauts develop awful body odor. According to Mary Roach again, while armpits are famous as a BO source, apparently the crotch is as well, it's just that those regions are typically further from our nose. So idk if anyone's going to want to get that close and personal with anyone else while they're up there. Then again I'm sure people have hooked up in grosser situations.

I'm probably forgetting some tidbits since I just woke up, but in summary, zero gravity sex would need to be carefully choreographed, require some equipment (fan, fasteners), and probably wouldn't even be as enjoyable as its Earthnorm counterpart. It's a good thing that's not what anyone's up there for.

[quiet-saint]

"𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞"

Pairing: Vergil/fem!reader, android!vergil/reader

Cw: nsfw/+18, spanking, some light degradation, a little angst, comfort at the end. Reader is a bit touch-starved, didn’t have a good childhood. I think that's it?

Summary: You were assigned an android by your father against your will. Vergil wants to make the situation better for you both but you don’t make it easy.

A/n: Y’all this is pure self-indulgence again. Idk I kinda don't like the way it turned out but i’m throwing it into the void anyway bc i spent way too much time on it. Not really proofread.

ִ ࣪𖤐

It's been a little over a month since your father–whom you haven't had contact with in years—assigned an android of his own creation to you. A combat android, built for protection and fit for bodyguard work. Part of the Sparda line, of which there have only been four created before the entire project was scrapped. Deviancy seemed inevitable.

Vergil doesn't talk much about his brothers and refuses to tell you about Sparda, the first android of their type. Whatever. You don't much care. You don't care much for anything these days, really.

Prior to Vergil's arrival, you lived alone. Apathetic in a shitty apartment on the outskirts of Red Grave City, away from your father's technological empire. You tried for years to get in touch with him but he left you to be raised by tutors and nannies that came and went. As you got older, you didn't want anything to do with him or his advancements in technology. So much so when you turned eighteen you never touched the money your father put into your bank account. Changed your last name and moved away. Thought that was the end of it. Didn't think you'd have anything to do with him ever again.

But here you are, living in a luxury apartment with the android your father assigned to you without your permission. Vergil's very presence dredges up years of resentment and abandonment you thought you buried so deep within you they ceased to exist.

It's no wonder then, why you begin to backtrack to your room as soon as you catch sight of Vergil seated on the couch in the dark living room. You turn on your heel, biting your tongue. You only spent time around him if you had to and even then you tolerated him.

You take a step back toward your room, being as quiet as possible, not wanting to draw the android's attention.

"Come here." Vergil says and you still, inwardly cursing. Of course he heard you. Android hearing and all that. You're certain he knows what your heart rate is right now, your temperature. You take a deep breath and turn back to face the living room, glaring at the back of Vergil's head as he flips a page in his book, continuing to read. Unaffected by the lack of light. Casual and relaxed.

"What?" You say sharply, crossing your arms over your chest in frustration, unable to resist the slight rocking back and forth on your feet.

"I want to talk. Come here." He repeats, with that same low, gentle tone he uses to get you to eat. The windows of the highrise apartment are blacked out, blocking out any potential prying eyes yet giving you a clear, if less bright, look at the large buildings of the city.

"I won't tell you a third time." You drop your arms to your sides and fight the urge to stomp over like a child throwing a tantrum. Slowly you patter over, hallway carpet giving way to smooth wood flooring. You come to stand in front of Vergil. He closes his book with a faint thump, sets it down on the armrest of the blue velvet chesterfield sofa. He then pats the space beside him. "Sit." Spoken like an order. You bite the inside of your cheek but comply, keeping some space between you two. The little lamp on the side stand comes on and you know it's Vergil's doing. You blink a little as your eyes adjust to the change in lighting.

"Okay. Talk." You mumble, glancing over at him. Unfair how he can look so impeccable. He's dressed in a white button up shirt and black slacks. The top two buttons are undone to reveal a bit of his pale throat and clavicle. His silvery-white hair is slicked back in his preferred style.

Vergil's shifts to face you, his knee a hair's breadth from bumping your thigh. He has an elbow resting on the back of the sofa, two fingers along his temple. "Oh? Two words this time. I didn't know you were capable." He says with a teasing lilt.

Your nails dig crescent moons into your right palm. "Did you ask me to sit here just to torment me?"

Vergil chuckles, the sound low, incredibly human and unexpectedly pleasant. "No. I... want to make things easier for you and I." That catches you off guard, your eyebrows pulling together slightly in a mix of confusion and surprise. Vergil is being nice, and you hate it. Hate the way he uses that gentle, patient tone. Hate the way it makes you want to give in and drop your carefully crafted detached demeanor. Hate the way hearing that tone makes you crave his approval. Your knee begins to bounce as you cross your arms over your chest. You huff in frustration as you turn your head to look at him. "Like anything will make it easier to be babysat by a fucking machine?" You snap.

In a flash Vergil grips your jaw, thumb along one cheek and his fingers pressing into your other, forcing your mouth into a pout. "Careful." He whispers leaning in, artificial breath warm as it fans lightly over your face. You can't speak clearly with the way your lips are pressed into an unwilling pout. Your eyes narrow as you catch the faint upturned corners of his mouth, anger flaring at the sight. His grip on your jaw lingers a moment longer before releasing.

"I don't need a hunk of plastic to—" You're cut off by Vergil's right hand fisting the collar of your shirt, exposing the warm soft skin of your tummy. You gasp in surprise. Vergil wastes no time in using his hold on your shirt to haul you over his lap, draping you over his thighs with ease. The action knocking a bit of air from your lungs. Your hands press flat along the rough area rug of the living room, your socked feet slip a little as you attempt to push yourself up and off his lap.

"I was wondering when you'd break." A warm hand comes down to press at your lower spine, resting just above the waistband of your jeans, the tip of a pinky slipping teasingly below the denim. The small skin to skin contact makes you dizzy, causing you to still, heart stuttering in your chest as your breathing becomes shallow. "W-what the hell are you doing?" You ask, craning your neck and pushing up on your hands to try and look at him, hair getting in your face.

Vergil's free hand reaches down to wrap delicately around your throat, not applying any pressure. No squeezing. His touch is soft, near feather light. Grounding, even. Vergil removes it in favor of giving your hair a brief stroke as if you're some pet in his lap and not a grown adult. He leans down a little.

"You," he begins voice quiet and a little rough in the low light of the living room. "Are going to say Yamato if you feel unsafe. Or if this gets to be too much."

Your breath catches in your throat, heat pooling in your stomach immediately even as your brain is slow to piece this all together. "W-what?" You ask in disbelief but there's heat low in your tummy and Vergil's hand on that bit of exposed skin above your waistband. Comforting, teasing, and intoxicating all at once. "I want you to say it now." Vergil's voice is a coaxing purr. You swallow, tongue darting out to lick at your lips, mouth suddenly feeling dry. "Y-yamato." You stammer, face hot as you hang your head.

"Good." Is all you get before Vergil's hands go to your jeans, fingers hooking in the waistband and pulling the denim halfway down your thighs. Swift and rough. You gasp, fingers digging a little into the area rug below you. Vergil runs a hand up the back of your right thigh, thumb brushing along the crease where your ass meets it, just below the edge of your underwear. You begin to squirm.

"I've been wanting to correct your behavior for a while now." He says and you huff in indignation. "M-my behavior is fine."

Vergil scoffs and pinches your ass cheek harshly. You jolt, a squeak tumbling forth. "Excluding the rude insults from a moment ago, you're rather... polite most of the time, yes." Vergil replies, running his palm over the area he pinched soothingly before giving a light squeeze. You moan softly. Embarrassment and molten want swirl in your stomach, your senses in overdrive. Vergil snickers. "But even I get tired of one word answers and sulking. I think I might have more of a personality than you." He says dryly as he grips the waistband of your underwear, bunching it up and pulling the cloth taught against your slit and you can feel how slick you've become. You press up a little on your toes, gasping as he pulls the fabric tighter, nearly wedging the fabric in your middle.

"Ah, wet already." Vergil all but purrs as he ghosts his thumb over the damp spot with his free hand. Your breath catches in your throat, heart beating wildly against your ribcage. He clicks his tongue in mock disapproval. "I've hardly done anything, dear. A few touches and a pinch really get you that worked up?" You whimper in humiliation as Vergil tugs the material down to rest under the curve of your ass.

Without warning Vergil's palm connects with the soft skin of your right cheek, stinging and sharp and aching. You cry out in surprise. "H-hey!"

"I want an apology." Vergil states coolly, rubbing and gently squeezing the reddening flesh of your rear. Your mouth struggles to form words, head full of want. Vergil scoffs and smacks harshly against your left cheek this time. Once, twice, three times before doing the same to your right. He hits sharp and hard, stealing the breath from your lungs. You've never been spanked before, haven't received any real physical discipline growing up. Your nannies and even your father in your early years opted for isolation. You wonder if you'll bruise. The thought shouldn't make you ache and leak but it does, hole clenching around nothing. "I-I'm sorry!" You squeal, panting as your arms tremble from holding a bit of your weight up at the awkward angle. He could have laid you over his lap on the sofa but you suspect Vergil wanted the position to be a little uncomfortable.

"Oh you can do better than that."

You swallow and collect yourself as best you can. "I'm sorry for calling you a hunk of plastic and a machine." You mumble, slumping a little, head hanging once more, hair hiding your face. Humiliated and turned on, out of your element and overwhelmed. The word yamato rests in your throat at the ready but you don't want to say it. You don't feel as if you need to.

Vergil hums as if in thought. "And? What of your behavior?" He asks, soothing his palm over the pink heated skin of your ass. You nod in understanding. "I'm... sorry for that, too. I-I'll stop... sulking." You stammer, the words awkward on your tongue. When was the last time you had to apologize for anything? When was the last you actually had anyone to apologize to?

"Better." Vergil murmurs, pulling the fabric of your underwear back up to cover you and you whine, aching and needy. Vergil hushes you as he pulls your jeans up to your rear. He taps your hip and helps you stand. His pale fingers tug at your belt loops, pulling you close to stand between his spread legs. Your hands go to his shoulders for support as your knees feel a tad weak.

Vergil looks up at you from his spot on the sofa, maintaining eye contact as he pulls up your pants the rest of the way. An unnameable intensity in his pale blue gaze. He smooths out your shirt, however the collar of it is stretched from Vergil using it to haul you over his lap.

"Sit with me." A soft command. He leans back against the blue velvet sofa, draping an arm along the back of it. The ache between your thighs begins to fade. You've never been in this sort of situation before. Fuck. You've hardly had a meaningful conversation with Vergil and you certainly haven't been spanked until tonight. Although it wasn't much. A million questions flood your head but you don't have the energy to ask them or word them properly.

Overwhelmed you fall back on simply listening. You settle onto the cushion beside him, ass aching. Vergil moves his arm from the back of the sofa to pull you further into his side. He tucks some of your hair behind your right ear.

"Are you alright?" Vergil asks and you nod as you stare at your lap. He sighs and his free hand comes up to gently grab your chin so you're forced to look at him. His brows are knit together, mouth set in a slight frown as he looks you over. "Come here." He says, not really waiting for an answer before reaching and pulling you into his lap, his arm moving from your shoulder to wrap around your lower back. Your left side grows warm as it's pressed to his front and his right hand rubs over your hip in a soothing manner. Unsure of how to respond to Vergil's affectionate physical contact you stiffen momentarily. You haven't been hugged since... when? You can't remember.

Gradually, you will yourself to relax, allowing your head to rest on his shoulder. You'd expect an android to smell like plastic but Vergil smells good. Like sandalwood and vanilla with the faintest hint of something metallic. Does he wear cologne? You wonder. Vergil's hand not on your hip goes to your hair, stroking softly, palm sometimes grazing your cheek. It feels good to be held. It's warm here. Safe. Secure.

A lump forms in your throat. Heat creeps into your cheeks as your vision blurs. A soft, broken sound leaves your throat as your lashes grow damp and spikey from tears that slide down your cheeks to trail down your chin. Vergil sighs again and you sniffle. A small strained "'m sorry" leaving your lips. Vergil shakes his head, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears under an eye. "Don't be. I was prepared for this sort of outcome." You huff a quiet laugh against his shoulder that's more air than anything. "H-how did you know I'd cry?" You ask, sniffling as you blink back more tears. Vergil resumes stroking your hair. "Going off your behavior and your history, there was a high probability you would react this way."

"You can... calculate that?" You whisper.

Vergil hums. "Not accurately." He answers but doesn't bother to elaborate further.

Tired but not as overwhelmed, the gentle stroking of your hair and the warm hand on your hip has your limbs growing heavy.

"It's alright." Vergil murmurs, lips near your forehead. "You can sleep. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow."

As much as you try to fight sleep in an attempt to drag this moment out, to stay here, held and warm and wanted, it's impossible. Your body grows lax and your eyes fall shut.

"Sleep well." Vergil says, low and whisper soft against your hair.

ִ ࣪𖤐

Y'all idek...

[jewishcissiekj]

hi let's talk about her

Honestly I have so much to say about her. so much. so here's some of it

-Asajj (NOT VENTRESS THAT'S HER LAST NAME ISTG PEOPLE JUST HATE USING HER ACTUAL NAME AND IDK WHY I GUESS IT'S A COOL NAME BUT ASAJJ IS ALSO A COOL NAME AND)

-Asajj was last seen in canon in the Dark Disciple novel. Where she died. I would never recommend that book to anyone so if you haven't read it yet please don't. In short, after becoming a Bounty Hunter in The Clone Wars she grew out her hair, got a cool yellow Lightsaber and for some reason teamed up with Quinlan Vos to try and kill Dooku. They didn't manage to do it. And Asajj died (was fridged) trying to protect Quinlan. The Bad Batch will not contradict that, as was said by the creators. So this is just a summary for anyone who hasn't read it because I wholeheartedly believe that book is bad

-I have not watched a single Bad Batch episode in my life. As a disclaimer. I started the first one, watched their TCW arc and saw memes screenshots clips and spoilers but I do not know this show. I will watch it now that Asajj's there tho

-She does not have the same outfit anymore! It's a change, and we haven't gotten a clear look at her new design so idk how to judge it yet. Might be to look less recognizable, but it has a very different vibe than any of her prior outfits. There's a leftover shoulder pad and probably some other stuff from her last design but I feel like they kinda clash with the new one and tbb's design language in general. The Bounty Hunter look has a very TCWish feel to it and this one is a sharp turn in another, much more casual direction. I'm not inherently against it but I guess we'll see how it looks in action soon

-In my opinion the hair looks like shit. I don't think she should have hair ever. I don't understand why she can't be bald. Why is she bald when she's evil and has hair when she's a padawan (good) and when she is "redeemed"? guess we'll never know. It's a leftover from the cancelled Dark Disciple TCW arc design (and the Dark Disciple cover and promotional material ofc) and it's bad if you ask me but to each their own and if you like it good for you

-Her Lightsaber!!!!! Same case as the hair in terms of irl development but I like it so much better. The yellow just fits her character and it's pretty. Would love for her to find another one and get back to dual-wielding (I know that won't happen)

-The bag and pouches make me so happy as a design element do you think she carries a (tooka) cat in there

-Now, visually she looks great and the animation style is smoother and nicer than TCW (as is the quality), but what about the direction the character's going in? I didn't like her being dead before, but I felt like it was somewhat better than her being shoved into being a cameo character in new content. If you can't touch her after a certain point, you also can't mess her up. But I do wonder where they're going with her. A few questions:

-Asajj in canon is a directionless character. Also, a partially nonsensical and inconsistent character in her choices and storylines. I've talked about it a lot but in short she just feels messy. What's her purpose in life? Her motive? Her origin story doesn't really make sense, even. She's a Bounty Hunter, sure, but why? If all she wants is revenge on Dooku and maybe money (which was pretty much the case in Dark Disciple), what's she doing after the Empire? And more importantly, why?

-Obviously, the question I haven't asked yet because I don't like it: How the fuck is she alive? Nightsisters have a weird relationship with death but seriously, how?

-She's a Force User after the Rise of the Empire now, so what does he do about that? Is she founding The Path? Fucking around and finding out? Making a not-Jedi-not-Sith order with other force users she finds? Is the Empire after her? Do they know she's live?

-What about her girlfriend? Is Latts Razzi safe? Is she alright?

-Why is she in The Bad Batch show? Are we making her into a cameo character or is there a purpose? Why'd they bring her back? For fun? What is she doing after the show? Floating in dead space? Cameo-ing? Will we have a book?

-OK enough for tonight but if we see Quinlan Vos in the show I'll become violent (/neg). We probably will (he might just get mentioned idk).

[ranticore]

Out of curiosity, have you ever read the Temeraire books by Naomi Novik? If you haven't I could say it's an alternate historical series with dragons set during the Napoleonic war, but that would be a lie. Really it's a slice of life of the most polite, oblivious, 'for king and country' English man with the wildest life story as he's radicalised by the giant housecat dragon companion he didn't really want at first but quickly comes to wholly love into dragon suffrage, and Napoleon is there.

yes and i didn't like them

fhksjdg no i'm sorry anon i know you're recommending them in earnest and didn't ask for a rant but seriously i was very disappointed by Temeraire as each successive book felt like a very boring, padded-out tour of worldbuilding which was not particularly relevant to the story or the ongoing war and eventually i gave up when they all got sent to yet another country on yet another contrivance.

my favourites were the first book and the fifth, but especially the fifth as it was set in britain (i.e a country we already knew and also had prior emotional ties to, so didn't need the agonisingly long-winded 'and here's how we do dragons in THIS country' worldbuilding that every new country got), during wartime, with Temeraire's POV for the first time, and dealt specifically with the dragons as their own fighting force absent of aviators. it was interesting and engaging. and Will during his Just Committed Treason phase was the most interesting version of him to me as a lover of character-driven stories (why stoop to giving him sitcom amnesia later... cmon now...). i've reread the fifth book a bunch of times because i like it a lot, and i haven't touched any of the other books since their first read.

reading these books all for the shreds of interesting characterisation in between the endless eternal road trip was too annoying after a while and I had to stop when they got to russia. but i also find that in most stories/sequels/etc i don't like every new book to be set in a new place, i start to wonder what it is about the original place (britain i guess) that was so inhospitable to a good sequel story. like damn i just got here let me enjoy it a little before we go somewhere else

and i can't really speak with any authority on this & haven't done much research but some of the books (particularly the fourth, and the one set in south america whatever that one was) struck me as playing into racist tropes and stereotypes.... i really had to force myself to get through the "kidnapped by a violent African tribe" storyline tbh and i'm not sure i should have. but any time the series comes up no one ever mentions this so idk

[thealexchen]

What’s your fav and least fav Oseman book? (My fav was Radio Silence and least was Loveless - just was underwhelmed idk)

This ask is so fun!

My favorite book by Alice is also Radio Silence. I think it really represents Alice coming into their own as a young writer. It's a passionately-written book inspired by the real disillusionment Alice had with her university experience and how the education system treats gifted kids. Compared to Solitaire, Radio Silence's characters were more diverse, and that diversity was integrated very seamlessly into the setting. I think Frances and Aled on their own are already very compelling characters, so their dynamic together is wonderful to read, fueled by mutual respect, appreciation, and artistic creativity. I also love both of their character designs and how much Alice emphasizes their distinct clothing choices and hairstyles, which makes them feel like real, expressive teenagers. I think the book also has the strongest narrative identity: it's not the amateur debut novel (Solitaire), it's not trying to teach the reader about aroaceness (Loveless), and it's not trying to impart lessons about fandom (IWBFT); it's a very character-driven novel fueled by human conflict, trauma, and complex relationships. It's also set over a long period of time, which adds depth to the story through strategically placed flashbacks and stretches out Frances and Aled's friendship and character arcs to a more realistic timespan. The podcast segments and certain scenes (like the entire few chapters where Frances is drunk at night and doesn't narrate reliably) also add a surreal, dreamy touch to the whole book that's so easy to get lost in, so I love it a lot.

My least favorite was actually I Was Born For This, mainly because it was hard for me to take a book about fandom and parasocial relationships as seriously as the story wanted me to. I really wanted to like this book for the Muslim representation especially, but Angel's character didn't make sense to me because I didn't believe that someone as smart and respectful as her to her idols would also be that invested in their lives; she'd have to be self-aware enough to realize sooner that her obsession wasn't healthy. I also felt like the themes fell flat compared to what Alice may have been trying to do with them. For example, the theme of religion where Angel is Muslim and Jimmy is Christian and the allegory of celebrities being "gods" that fans "worship," I felt like it didn't reach any satisfying conclusion. Angel's relationship with Islam wasn't explored as much as I would've liked; for example, in Radio Silence, Daniel and Frances have a conversation about feeling detached from their racial identities, but in IWBTF Angel never addresses how she reconciles queerness with her faith or acknowledges how she feels as a WOC in a very white, secular fandom space. I think RS and IWBTF showcase how Alice's writing changed pre and post-Heartstopper. It's more polished and mature, but because Heartstopper is so fluffy and optimistic, their later books lack the "bite" that their earlier works had that made them compelling.

Thank you so much for asking, seriously. I read all of Alice's books 1-2 years ago but haven't talked about them much on here yet, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to yap! 😄

[kimdokjas]

tag games! 💌

i'm so late and i'm 100% sure i missed several of these because tumblr only keeps notifications for the last ??? who knows how many months. so sorry for the delay! i promise i wasn't ignoring them i genuinely just forgot 😭

edit: i had this drafted since january 18 and i forgot to post it. again 💀 i'm leaving it exactly as it was as a capsule in time for myself though

~~

tagged by @orviposition @karura @misakarose @hansooyung @milaghoul - thank you for the tag mira, may, tay, roy, and mila! 💕💕 these were actually three separate tag games but since they were really similar i decided to combine them!

tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties

favorite color: blue!

3 ships: yoohankim (orv), llojavi (tged), shiguang (sgdr)

first ship ever: merthur (? genuinely can't remember sorry my liege)

last song: IS - sue

currently listening to: dizzy bezerko album by unlike pluto (nothing but bangers it's insane)

last movie: children who chase lost voices (2011)

currently watching: sabikui bisco, a sign of affection, cherry magic, mr. villain's day off, solo leveling, 7th time loop, dungeon meshi

other stuff I watched this last year: my main obsessions were buddy daddies, trigun stampede, moriarty the patriot

shows I dropped this last year/didn't finish: i rarely drop shows but i had to pause to your eternity bc it was making me cry too hard lmaoo

currently reading: the greatest estate developer, sabikui bisco, lord of the mysteries, thriller trainee, and a bunch of manhwa/manhua

currently consuming: coffee (decaf bc caffeine is now poison to me)

currently craving: idk i think a cinnamon roll could fix me actually

currently working on: crocheting a snoopy-themed gift for my mom's bday!

current obsession: tged brainrot babeyyy

sweet/spicy/savory? savory!

relationship status: happily single amen

last thing I googled: ranjatai

~~

tagged by @aomitois thank you tem! 💞

Which feeling that has no name are you?

~~

tagged by @userfrieren thank you sm for tagging me jenna! 💖

alias/name: gaby

birthday: sep 3

zodiac: virgo

height: too tall

hobbies: reading novels, playing video games, making gifs

favourite colour: blue

favourite book: omniscient reader's viewpoint !!!!! it changed my life please read it i am on my knees

last song: 云与海 - 阿YueYue

last movie/show: the middle

recent read: i think the last thing i finished was mdzs (i say this when i haven't even managed to finish the extras lol)

inspiration: finding something that hits like orv is what keeps me going ngl

story behind url: idc if i have a kim dokja url i WILL beat the kdj kinnie allegations 💪

fun fact: i know at least the basics of 11 languages!

what’s the colour palette of your name?

(duplicated image for sizing) i actually love this! these are all colors that i would normally wear bc i'm a big fan of subdued shades with a slight touch of earth tones!

~~

tagged by @sugaaz and @hansooyung to do this picrew! thank you moon and roy 💕

~~

tagged by @koushuwu to do this picrew! tysm mica this was so cool! 💖

~~

tagged by @sawaisanna to post a wip - thank you malina! 💞

i don't have any edits in the works atm, but here's a wip from a fic i'll likely never post.

~~

top six reads of 2023

tagged by @tls123 - tysm francesca! 💖

global examination by 木苏里 *

devil venerable also wants to know by 青色羽翼

thriller trainee by 妄鸦 *

the book of disquiet by fernando pessoa

mist unlimited by 微风几许

camera lucida by roland barthes

(*) haven't finished these yet

first things first can i just point out how fucking funny it looks to list danmei and philosophical books together bc it's sending me 😭

i read relatively "few" books in 2023 but that's only because i spent the most time reading two monstrous books that unfortunately didn't make it to my top 6 :/ (iykyk)

it seems like 2023 was the year of narratives that break out of their confines, self-awareness, and deconstructing paradigms <3

~~

💫 preference 💫

tagged by @aomitois - tysm tem!

ancient or modern

bitter or sweet

chocolate or vanilla

coffee or tea

create or destroy

day or night

early bird or night owl

freckles or dimples

gold or silver

greek mythology or egyptian mythology

macarons or eclairs

hot or cold

thunder or lightning

typewritten or handwritten

secret garden or secret library

spicy or mild

dark magic or light magic

virtue or vice

ocean or desert

moon or stars

rough or smooth

mermaids or sirens

known or unknown

rain or snow

~~

tagging for any of these: (no pressure!) @icythot-bakubitch @ruanbaijie @feitanporter @itoshisae @dokjaism

@mudanonaito @himawaari @aroacehirano @mauxanhduong @apparently-artless

@72g @miyamiwu @focryst @justapieceintheirgames @smol-ackerman + anyone else who wants to join!

[scorpius-major]

#Just sign here

Ft: Childe and gn!reader

Synopsis: in which you summon a demon to stop your family from nagging you about your dating life

Contains: mentions of demons, contracts, and small amounts of blood (nothing graphic). Reader is genderlly ambiguous, but family members ask when you will get a boyfriend. Slight suggestive gestures but not explicit or forward at all (flirty behavior, physical touches, romantic advances)

wc: 1.7k

Final notes: this was really inspired by the book Sign Here by Claudia Lux. It’s a really good book yall should consider reading it! This is my first time is a while writing a full narrative fanfiction, so chill on me y’all if it’s not that good lmaoo. Depending if I like this I might make it into a full series! I’m experimenting with different povs so idk if this is gonna be my default one or not we’ll see as time goes on!

Family events are never fun. Especially when the hot topic always comes back to your dating life. You wish that for once they would talk about sometime other than when you’ll be bringing a boyfriend home. That one uncle doesn’t even talk about politics anymore.

“So when are you getting a boyfriend?”

“Yknow all your other cousins are engaged right?”

If only they knew a majority of marriages end in divorce. It’s not like you don’t want to be in a relationship, waiting for the right person is a solid move. What happens if you “find the one” prematurely and something terrible happens? Like breaking your heart or cheating on you. So whenever it comes up you just try and change the subject as best you can. The most effective way usually is asking your dad dumb sports questions. Questions that are obvious on the surface, but will get him talking for 10 minutes so you can leave.

You wonder how they haven't caught on yet, but then again your personal love life is none of their business. Getting an actual boyfriend seems like too much work. Paying one of your friends seems like a solid option, but your family already knows all of your friends. There has to be some way to get someone to pretend to be your boyfriend.

Then it clicked. 

You remember having seen a really old book in your grandmom’s attic about the occult. Why not just summon a random demon to dupe your extended family into thinking you finally found love? There are many things wrong with that, but running the options through your head it seemed like the simplest. Making a simple blood contract will beat having to meet new people any day.

The instructions were quite clear. Recite a simple incantation after writing your intentions on a blank parchment paper in red ink. All of which had to be performed in a dark room with a mirror on a full moon. The only problem is the only room in your house with a mirror big enough is the bathroom. Hopefully, the demon doesn't mind being summoned into a bathroom. 

The only real negative here would be accidentally summoning a malicious spirit that would haunt the house. But then you remembered you live alone. So what if a spirit inhabits your house? It can’t be that hard to ignore it. That was the last piece of encouragement you needed. That demon is getting summoned.

You shoot your mom a text saying how you can’t wait to introduce your boyfriend to the family.

“I think I’m finally ready to introduce him to the family, we’ll be there for the next family dinner.”

The look on her face would have been priceless. Everybody thinks that you don’t have a boyfriend, and while that is correct soon it will be partially correct. The full moon is tonight and dinner is in two days. There was one thought that lingered in the back of your head.

What if the demon doesn’t cooperate with you?

What if it doesn’t want to enter a contract with you? That can’t happen, right? 

Worst case scenario you’ll just hire somebody. You make your way to the bathroom, holding the supplies in hand. Candles litter around the sink and you light them before the lights are turned off. 

The dull glow illuminates the room just enough so you can see what you’re doing. You pick up the piece of parchment to write down what you want from the demon.

“Allow me to summon a demon here to pretend to be my boyfriend” it’s very straightforward, but it gets the job done. The red ink drips on the paper looking akin to blood. “I hope this works” you murmur to yourself. 

The incantation falls from your lips like it’s second nature. A sudden chill drifts through the air. Your bathroom has no windows, so you conclude that something must be going on. 

The candles suddenly went out, leaving the room engulfed in darkness. Feeling the temperature drop heavily, you lightly shiver to try to acclimate to the chilly room.

A faint glow can be made out from the corner of the bathroom mirror. Two small blue circles standing directly behind you. The candles flickered on again, leaving you wondering what you just got yourself into. “Startled by candles love? Please, that's the oldest trick in the book” a voice calls out to you. You turn around, facing where the blue light is coming from. The figure gives a slight chuckle, seeing your exasperated state. Warm ginger hair and freckled skin can be made out on the being. 

You grasp around the room trying to find the light switch, but before you can find it the lights are turned on already. A slender hand grasps yours, shaking it lightly. “I am the demon Known as Tartaglia, but you can just call me Ajax, sweetie” he shoots you a small wink, giving you just enough time to analyze his figure. 

He’s a little taller than you and has to look down slightly. However, he does have this sort of attractive air to him with a small smile present. “So I heard you wanted a demon to pretend to be your boyfriend. It takes guts to summon one of us.” You’re unable to say anything, so you stay silent. You don’t wanna start stuttering and embarrassing yourself. “What’s your name hun?” Ajax breaks the silence, startling you a bit. You didn’t even notice that he had moved you into your living room, sitting you both on the couch. Are you that entranced by him? Sure he was conventionally attractive, but could you fall in love with a demon? 

“Are you gonna answer me? I don’t have all day sweetheart” his voice snapping you out of some thoughts. “Oh sorry, my name is-�� he suddenly cuts you off by pressing his finger lightly to your lips. “Never mind honey, I’ll just keep using these cute little names” Ajax’s hand goes to cup your cheek as his other hand you a small tablet. “We stopped using blood contracts years ago. We do everything digitally now” gesturing you to go ahead and sign your name, his hand leaves your cheek and goes to hold around your lower back. 

Maybe it’s the touch-starved part of you talking, but part of you wants to lean into his touch more. His hair framed his as he leans into you, frowning slightly at the sight of the unsigned contract. “Just sign here and I’ll give you whatever you want” did they send a flirty demon by accident or did he read your intent?

“I have a quick question.” He hums in response. You place your finger on the tablet getting ready to sign it. “Did you know my intent, or are you just flirty 24/7?” He laughs, not sure if you were serious. You give him a confused look and put the tablet down. “No, we can’t. When we’re being summoned we have no idea what the summoner will ask for” 

Ajax’s Demeanor changes into a slightly darker one as he grins. “Well, what did you have in mind sweetheart?” He leans into your ear, using his taller figure as an advantage. You shake your head feeling embarrassed. “It’s a silly reason really” he looks curious now, and his interest peaked.

“I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend so my family will stop bothering me” 

“Well that’s not what I was expecting, but I’m interested.

You had a feeling that’s what he was going to say. From his actions and suggestive way of speaking, you speculated he wasn’t gonna say no. You pick up the tablet and don’t bother reading any of the fine print. Normally that’s not a very good idea, but you were desperate. With that, you sign your name at the bottom and hand it back to Ajax.

He takes it from your hands and smiles. “Thanks, hun, now I hope you know you can’t get rid of me now. It says in the fine print” Yup, you should have read it. Now you’re stuck with him for presumably all eternity. 

“Any particular reason you resulted to summoning demons to fix this problem?” He was amused, demons probably don’t get many requests like this. “It seemed easy” you replied without a second thought. “Any boyfriendly duties I have to perform for you?” His hand was back around your waist, gripping it lightly. The tablet was gone, and the sun had started to come up. “Well, I do need you to attend this family dinner with me.” 

“Seems easy enough, how hard can that be?”

-

You stand in front of your parent’s door, splitting headache due to the chaos you’re sure is about to ensue. “You remember the story right?” Ajax squeezes your hand lightly as reassurance and gives you a small smile. “Of course, you’ve said it to me a hundred times sweetie” you take a deep breath in and knock on the door with your free hand. 

“Oh look who it is! The boyfriend is here too!” Your mom exclaims, and the rest of the family crowds the door. Maybe you should have warned him how large your family is. “Mama stop, that’s embarrassing.” You swat your hand at her and your dad interjects. “Oh nonsense, your mom is just proud of you that’s all!” He laughs. Ajax doesn’t really do much except smile and nod with occasional answers. He left most of the talking to you. 

Perhaps he likes the sound of your voice. He does subtle romantic things like resting his hand on your thigh and playing with your hair. You’re getting quite used to him and this dinner is going great. On the plus side your parents seem satisfied, and let you two leave without any quarrels.

“So what do you think?” You turn to him after you leave the house. Ajax grabs both of your hands and holds them tightly in his, smiling. 

“I think I’m gonna enjoy being your boyfriend”

“What part of fake did you not understand?”

“Do you want this to be fake?”

Ajax presses a small kiss to your cheek. “I didn’t think so either.”

[hrina]

cass, i've been following you for ages, and i wanted to let you know that seeing all your book posts has really made me want to get into the habit of reading more.

what ebook reader do you use? i have so many paperbacks i haven't touched, but i'm thinking to get an ereader so i can read what i haven't bought. rn i use my phone to read through hoopla, a library app, and sometimes the kindle app. ty for the oceanofpdf link btw! i read the book "half a soul" that someone recommended and i enjoyed it!

i really want to be able to read ebooks easier, but idk really know what i'm searching for yet so i'm open to any affordable options :)

HIIIII!!! i have a kindle and honestly it’s the best purchase Ive ever made 🥰 highly recommend !! the oceanofpdf site has been so good to me and it allows you to share the epub files to the kindle app so theyre very compatible in that sense!

i have the kindle paperwhite which is regular $159.99 CAD but i bought it on prime day last july bc it went on sale for like $114.99 CAD. ive heard the regular kindle is just as good though and it’s normally priced at $129.99 CAD but i believe last year during prime day it went on sale for around $89.99 CAD which is a fantastic deal. so just some food for thought in case ur considering it ❤️

[systemrestart]

Remi's 2024 Favorites!

Did this last year, so here it is again! List under the cut

Like 95% of the the media I enjoyed this year was video games, so there's gonna be more than one entry for that category. lol

[FAVORITE VIDEO GAME(S)]

In Stars and Time

Yeah people probably saw this one coming. I feel a little weird putting it here since I JUST played it, but man, this game had a massive impact on me. It's not without flaws, for sure, but the way the timeloop aspect is interwoven with both the experience of the player and the conflict inside Siffrin, is remarkable. Beautifully handled. And the connections between the characters are very rich and Real.

I also just, connected on a very personal level with Siffrin, for reasons I'm not fully comfortable sharing here, but that also made ISAT resonate deeply with me.

Witch's Heart

Such an incredible amount of effort and care was put into this game, it's impressive!! Full character sprites with lots of variety, tons of special CGs, TONS of areas to explore and secrets to find, and a very compelling story (with an interesting/unique structure, too!). And, of course, the characters. I didn't think much of them at first but they really, really endeared themselves to me and have some surprising depths.

Even though it's not QUITE finished yet, I think Witch's Heart deserves to be in the pantheon of Big RPGmaker Horror Games. I hope more people play it

Void Stranger

A game I haven't talked about nearly enough!! I fucking LOVE sokoban puzzles and this game has some incredibly fun ones, I had an absolute BLAST playing. There's tons and tons of secrets to uncover, and it was incredibly rewarding to discover many of them for myself. "Rewarding" really is the key word I think. I wish so badly I could play it all over again with fresh eyes

Fantastic Danmaku Festival II

This is the best Touhou fan-shmup I've ever played. And I even got to play it on an actual arcade machine at Tekko!!!!! Really hope to clear it on Lunatic in 2025 :^)

[FAVORITE BOOK]

Murder on St. Mark's Place

I discovered the Gaslight Mysteries series this year, and read the first 10 books. Of all of them, Murder on St. Mark's Place was my favorite by far. It's a historical murder mystery set in 1890's NYC, and I felt that this one in particular gave a very interesting perspective on that time period, especially around misogyny and class violence. The mystery wasn't too hard to unravel but was still very compelling, leaving me biting my nails in anxiety by the end, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Very good read.

[FAVORITE MOVIE]

Trainspotting

I'm gonna be real. I watched, like. 2 movies this year, total. Trainspotting and Pink Flamingos. Pink Flamingos was interesting as a piece of weird gay art history, and I enjoyed(?) it, but I think Trainspotting left a bigger impact on me.

Absolutely harrowing look at what addiction can drive people to, and why people still do drugs anyways. Highly recommend looking at warnings before watching, though,,

[FAVORITE ANIME]

I. did not watch any this year. Again. I think that was literally my ONE resolution for 2024, too, I wanted to watch at least 1 anime……. Mission Failed

[FAVORITE MANGA]

The Shinigami's Rowing Her Boat As Usual

Technically not original manga, it's a Touhou doujinshi, but MAN. This is possibly my favorite Touhou doujin I've ever read, it's very........ how do I even put it. Life-affirming? Touching? Idk. God I love Komachi. Please read it

HONORABLE MENTION: LIFE

I also re-read LIFE this year. This manga can be hard to recommend to people due to the (arguably over-the-top) dramatic handling of its subject matter (self injury, SA, EXTREME bullying, suicide, etc), but, it holds a very precious place in my heart. Particularly the bond between the 2 lead girls, Ayumu and Miki.

I haven't read NANA yet but I like to joke that Ayumu and Miki are MY personal Nana and Hachi. lol

------

Aaaaaand I think that's it from me! This year was....... quite a rollercoaster. Left my shit garbage job and made a lot of good memories, but, I began having some pretty scary health issues, and I had some very low lows. 2025 is looking very grim already, in many ways, but I hope that at the very least, I can still find some fun and comfort in there, too. Wishing you all a happy new year.....!!

[wearytaco]

Visited by Papa Legba?

So I want to preface this with I am a white (trans) man, I do not practice any sect of voodoo and am aware of the sensitivity around voodoo with people of other cultures, etc. While I grew up Christian I am not any longer and never was associated with Catholicism, I have no particular spirituality but follow closer to New Age than any specific type. And I am confused. I also want to clarify when I say "see" and "hear" in the following text, I mean in my minds-eye, not with my physical eyes/ears.

So a few years back I was visited by a spirit I later googled to be Papa Legba based on colors and vague attributes like cane and hat and such. I don't recall if I was high, meditating, dreaming, or just in a trance state. It was literally years ago. When I learned it was Papa Legba, I got really confused and decided to file it away as a one off and didn't touch it again because I have heard that there is a lot of cultural sensitivity around other cultures engaging in voodoo (idk if that's wholeheartedly true, but I didn't see a need for me to be involved for something that seemed like a one time shenanigan).

Skip ahead to a few months ago and I moved to Botswana, Africa. I recall I was attempting to look into the original religion of the area before colonization and learned about Orishas and Yoruba. I never actually got around to reading the books I downloaded, which I will be rectifying soon.

Recently I saw a video (yeah just a TikTok) about Eshu. The video strangely caught my attention and I ended up actually watching like the whole 3 minutes lol. It was mentioned Eshu was connected with the Orishas/Yoruba. Which reminded me I still have yet to read those books.

Two days ago I had a (sober) trance like experience, which I haven't had in quite a while. First there was this spirit that came. She was speaking with me, she had long dreaded like hair with beads and shells, she was wearing a white dress which almost resembled a dress slip, and she didn't seem good nor evil just neutral maybe leaning chaotic but not a proper chaotic neutral vibe. She also told me she was Haitian, which I found really strange being in Botswana. I don't recall everything we spoke of, but she mentioned she is living in the house with me, calling it "our house". While I don't see her having any ill intentions to me, I do very much get the vibe that if there was something happening to me she would end that threat. I haven't felt her here before, but I also haven't exactly been paying attention to the spirit world lately due to other distractions that have recently left my life.

While speaking with her behind me I heard the name "Eshu" being repeated over and over and over again, getting louder, but never like aggressive. Just something I couldn't keep ignoring.

I turned to look behind me towards my room and when I turned back she was gone. Cliche, in my opinion...

So I went towards my room and then felt the strange urge to use some of my spit to write "Eshu" on the wall of my room. After I had a spirit I hadn't seen in years appeared in the doorway of my room. But when he was trying to speak to me it sounded like he was being drowned out by static. It was like when you are almost on the right radio station so you can hear the song, but you can't hear the lyrics only the static. I tried asking his name because I couldn't remember it as it had been years. At first I heard "Papa" and then after another 5 or so minutes I heard "Legba" (but I legitimately thought I made Legba up and didn't believe that is what I was hearing.) It was so hard to communicate with him and all I recalled was his connection to voodoo.

Strangely, when he disappeared behind me yet again, but not in a doorway, instead near my window, I felt a spirit that called themselves Eshu. I suddenly got really sleepy. Things were clearer, but I was basically told to go to sleep by the spirit and he would give me a message in my dreams. (I remember when I first woke up going, "oh. That was the message" but then I went back to sleep and I have absolutely no idea what I was dreaming of). Before I fell asleep I looked up "Papa Legba" and realized that was his name, and then.... I saw another name in Africa, I believe it said in Nigeria and other countries, he is called Eshu. I am both floored, and really confused. Especially since it felt like two different spirits?

And then last night I felt incredibly nauseous and that was hardly able to stand up right (I am on a medicine for a few weeks now and that unfortunately is a side effect). I got the same urge to write Eshu on the wall in spit, and again at the doorway Papa Legba appeared. But this time clear and not speaking through static. However, I was mostly bent over or on my knees for s lot of the conversation due to the horrid wave of nausea I was experiencing. He offered me a deal of sorts. He asked what I wanted more or less, like we kind of just had a conversation about things I have been wanting (such as confidence, spiritual connection, sexual liberation, things I just wish I could improve upon myself). And then he asked for spit and I was about to give it to him without any thought but then I realized that may be the "handshake" so to say. So I stopped and asked why. He basically confirmed it was an offering. I asked what he wants in return if he's offering to help me with these things. He didn't really have an answer. But he did say he wants me to tell someone something. And I told him I would likely forget what he asked of me (which I have forgotten what he told me to say as predicted lmfao). And a few hours go by and ... Well I know making deals is always risky business but let's just leave it at yeah I ended up making the deal and gave him spit (I just don't understand the spit thing?? I read he likes tobacco, alcohol, and candy??) but it never truly felt like a trick. I know from briefly reading he can be considered a trickster in some circles, and I'm absolutely sure he has his own agenda. But it never felt like he wants any harm to me. In fact it truly felt like the opposite. Maybe I'm just absolutely naive. Very possible. But... I can't explain it. Anyways, after he left the woman appeared again but this time she was behind the static. I know she was saying something but I couldn't hear her not really see her in my minds-eye, but physically I felt I was closer to actually seeing her for a first. I tried for a while but then I apologized and had to walk away from her and go to bed where I felt the sleepy urge and "there will be a message" feeling again. I am truly at a loss from this experience, and since I do not engage in voodoo nor know anyone who does I can't even come close to understanding this situation. And I don't want to enter a spirituality/religion that is culturally defined where I may not be welcomed, either. Honestly I don't have much interest in voodoo other than general curiousity but I have that for most religions and spiritualities. I really would like some guidance. Please?

[mermaidsirennikita]

have you read notorious by minerva spencer?? it was the first book of hers i tried and the way she wrote the hero felt so off to me that i DNFed and haven't tried any of her other works. i've seen you rec other books by her though so i was thinking of giving her another try but idk where to start. would love to know what you recommend i should start with <3

Yeah, I have, and while I liked a lot about that book, I agree with you on the way the hero was written. Her first trilogy and that book in particular (and in some ways the followup book to Notorious) are just... not books I'd recommend. What I find weird is that THUS FAR I don't think I've encountered anything similar in her LaViolette (her pen name) books? But to be fair, there are a lot of those, and I haven't read all of them.

Sooo I would jump into a LaViolette book! Some of my favorites:

The Seducers Trilogy. This series is focused on a set of sex workers who all know and work or have worked with each other, finding love. It's got romance, it's got sex, it's got darkness and humor. I will say that, as you can imagine with the nature of the content, there's some harrowing stuff; these books don't linger on sexual abuse on the page, but they are often a part of the backstory/villainy. I've read all of 'em, and they break down into

Melissa and The Vicar—A jaded madam goes on vacation due to a stomach ulcer (she's stressed!) and meets a super sweet, VIRGINAL vicar... who has no idea who she is... and is finally having his fire LIT. The book where right after she introduces him to anal sex his immediate response is like "I want you to meet my parents", I am nOT KIDDING.

Joss and The Countess—A former sex worker (who was good at laying it DOWN) is now a footman for a frosty widowed countess. He's also her bodyguard for her sojourns into town, where she's trying to have good sex for the first time in her life. And... he quickly realizes that she may not know what she needs, but HE does. An extremely horny yet also extremely touching book (harrowing, though) with an older heroine and a younger hero, and some HOT sex scenes.

Hugo and The Maiden—A famous sex worker is transported after being framed for a crime he didn't commit. The ship wrecks and he washes ashore on a tiny island, where his arrogant, selfish ass gets stomped on (metaphorically) by a bossy vicar's daughter. I call this "Devil in Winter on steroids".

The Masqueraders Trilogy. About three people who, you guessed it, AREN'T WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE!!! Another "proceed knowing that these can get harrowing" series. All good, but I'd especially recommend

The Footman—A teenage footman is thrown in prison when his boss's spoiled daughter convinces him to kiss her and they're caught. He escapes and reinvents himself with a new identity in America, becoming wealthy and returning to England to ruin the girl, now a widow, for revenge. But as you can imagine.... he plays himself.

The Bastard—A scarred former bareknuckle boxer (whose backstory is INSANELY sad, omg) is out to take revenge on his father, who never claimed him. However... He's gobsmacked by the kind nature of his father's sister-in-law (not his aunt by blood... to be clear) specifically after she like, is nice to a dog in front of him. So, naturally, as someone who clearly over-identifies with the dog, he stalks her for a while and eventually ends up offering her a deal: he WON'T ruin his father's (and by extension her sister's) life... If she marries him.

The Bellamy Siblings is her ongoing series that's perhaps the least WACKY? Still wacky at points though. It's about a family that falls on hard financial times due to the father's gambling, which means it falls on the sisters in particular to find ways to make money (often through marriage). Again, all good. My favorites include

Hyacinth—One of my favorites of hers, the top spot is probably between this and Joss and The Countess, but a unique story about a neurodivergent card shark heroine who disguises herself as a man at night to get money for the family. (And also... because she has fun with it.) A scarred, notorious duke notices and befriends her, and eventually catches on to her gender, but not her identity as a lady. They stark a FWB situation, with neither one believing they'll fall in love... AND YET.... Super emotional but also funny, verrrrrry sexy, great ending.

Selina—Directly after the above book, the beautiful Bellamy sister Selina, always raised to save the family by marrying rich, has an identity crisis and runs off, taking a job as a housekeeper under a fake name. The catch, aside from her not having any job experience: the lord of the house is incredibly dickish and grumpy, as he's a rake who lost his sight the year before following a terrible carriage accident. This one is less big on the plot and more about the loooove stoooory. It's really sweet and one of her softer books.

The Academy of Love is an ongoing series that has little artistic themes for each book, which is lovely. I've only read the first one so far, but I loved it

The Music of Love—A mysterious widow arrives to teach an equally mysterious wealthy man music. However, they have a massive attraction to each other and quickly have impetuous sex, which leads to Consequences and a quickie marriage. So now they barely know each other, are into each other, and are dealing with a fresh marriage on top of their mutual secrets. Very gothic, very hot, and also omg my heart. The hero has albinism (which I haven't read in any other romance novel) and is ostracized by society. That's why she was borught in to teach him music. It's just a really good book.

Victoria Decadence is her historical erotic romance series, which is ongoing (I think—she recently added a new book). I've only read one so far, but I looooved it, another big favorite. It's

His Valet—A rich businessman's devoted valet is actually not a man (Jo was assigned female at birth and uses she/her pronouns for the most part, but is clearly meant to be read as nonbinary) and is also obsessed with him. Taking on the identity of a mysterious woman soon to be wed, Jo begins meeting her boss for kinky sex... and it's supposed to be anonymous and all about the boning.. but oh now now they're falling in loooove...

She also has another ongoing series, the Hale Saga, which I've yet to read. But I imagine it's probably good! It sounds Bellamy-adjacent.

I hope this helps!

[dracimexidae]

I was tagged by @sirtadcooper - thank you!! 😃

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties.

(mandatory under the cut because I'm an idiot who can't keep it short to save her life 😅)

Favourite colour: this is an easy one, I'm in an established relationship and still madly in love after so many years with practically every shade of violet/purple that exists! 💜 Maybe I'm slightly more drawn to colder hues, but I'm not really that picky when it comes to this family of colours!

(This is a picture of a portion of wall in my bedroom I have asked to be painted with this shade of violet - which is a bit darker in reality but y' know, artificial light, that corner is way too dark to photograph otherwise... the whole room has various hues of purple scattered around: curtains, decorations, blankets, pillows... here's a special appearance of my beautiful boat lamp! ⛵💕)

Last song: thanks to a suggestion from Youtube, which probably hates me, because I'm still recovering from a flu and generally weak so it would be wise to avoid any kind of unneccessary emotional outburst:

Not technically a song, but still... I'm not sure if I was crying while watching this because I haven't had the chance to listen to them live yet, since they made a European tour twice but never touched my country and I couldn't travel abroad to see them, or because of... whatever it is that is going on with this performance and these artists, "epicness" to me barely covers it, I know I'm exaggerating but that's how much I love Two Steps From Hell, what can I say... In any case here I am being even more of a mess than I already am, you'd think I have had enough of using handkerchiefs these days! 😭❤️‍🔥

Last movie: I think it was Imagine me & you, which I finally watched after seeing a lot about it here (unpopular opinion no one asked for, I thought I would have enjoyed it more... ☹️)... It was either that or Bros (which I actually enjoyed it more than I expected instead 😁), at the moment I don't remember exactly which came last...

Currently watching: Fellow Travelers as for new shows (fuck me, seriously, what am I doing to myself 😭 - I'm crying quite a bit in this post 😅), rewatching Blackadder after having finished A bit of Fry and Laurie 😆, and sports as well, mainly tennis, padel and basketball atm!

Other stuff I watched this year: Oh my, I didn't watch an awful lot of things, but I'll surely forget something - I'm terrible remembering this kind of stuff (if only it was just these things 😅)! Let's see, in no particular order, I can recall Minx (so far this year the most pleasant surprise in terms of TV series I've watched for the first time, silly [affectionate] little show), Wednesday (it was a bit meh for me, not sure if I'll watch next season), Red, white & royal blue (likely one of my favourite movies this year ❤️... yeah, it's not certainly a big deal of a movie ofc and I'm not even a rom com gal, especially for those Hallmark style movies, like this kinda is, but idk, it was cute and warm and brought good feelings and probably I watched it in the right moment for me, or one on which I just needed good vibes, what can I say), Call me by your name (even more than watching the movie reading the book was... quite an experience - I'm not saying it an entirely bad way, but I'm still so utterly confused about my feelings about this novel), What's love, The kissing booth (don't ask me about this one, the things I do to watch an actor I like 😅 - there's a whole trilogy of it but I only watched the two movies that had in the cast the actor I was interested in, really can't be bothered to do more than that, it was enough suffering I endured 🤣), Only murders in the building, The witcher, National treasure: edge of history (I don't care what anyone says, this show deserved at least another season, it was far from perfect but there has been way worse that still sticks around, and I'm speaking as a fan of the movies foremost, especially the first one, which is one of my comfort movies, as absurd and silly as it is 😊), Shadow and bone, The witcher (as for these, I'll probably keep watching an eventual next season only for some of the cast, because both were an utter disappointment and I wouldn't bother continuing otherwise), let's see, what else, oh yeah, Smiley (this was another nice show tbh, and in this case I could also train my ear a bit on the language since it's in Spanish and I'm trying to learn and improve it 😝) and two other Spanish shows (guilty again for watching mainly for an actor I wanted to see ah ehm), Merlì/Merlì: Sapere Aude and Alguien tiene que morir, and Érase una vez… pero ya no, all pretty much forgettable... I don't know what else, probably there is something more, but I'm making it lenghty already, I should stop anyway!

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: damn, I should make a sheet about tv/movies as I do with books, it's honestly hard remembering what I watched or dropped! I can recall not going through the second episode of Warrior nun: again, another show I was curious about having seen things here on Tumblr, but I didn't feel it after the first episode, I'm not even sure exactly why - it's possible I'll try again someday, it's way too early to have an opinion after only one episode! I also didn't finish Lockwood & co., this one wasn't really for me tbh... I'm not even mentioning something I've been watching only and exclusively because it's a sort of joke I have with a friend of mine... All right, I'll say, it's High School Musical: The musical - the series 😅 Truth is, my friend likes the movies and low key also the series, whereas I hate them all, and she knows they piss me off and she has fun hearing my comments and teasing me about it... I have a bit less fun submitting myself to this "torture" but whatever! 🤣 I try to watch the series when I'm particularly willing to waste my time, because the only reason I'm doing it is to have a laugh with said friend, anyway rn I'm at the last season and it's so bad, sooooooo bad (mind you, meaning it's just not for me, I'm likely too old and too millennial to watch this kind of shows anymore), I don't know how I am supposed to endure any more of it lol!! I guess at some point I'll force myself to finish it to end my suffering and hoping my friend and I will finally close this questionable chapter of our watching experience, but damn it's hard! 😝 As for shows of which I completed a season but didn't watch the next, I could say one was Abbott Elementary: pretty bummed about it because it was actually cute and was enjoying it, I finished the first season when the second didn't air yet and when it did, I had moved on and lost interest a bit and wasn't in the mood to continue my watching (happens to me a lot)... I think at some point I will resume this one, just have to find the right inspiration! 😛 (I'm rather complicated and picky about my watching/reading experience in general, ops) And I have to mention as well, even if it will surely grant me some disapproval from the person who tagged me in this game 😆, I couldn't pick up Our flag means death after the first season as well, and for now I don't think I will resume it: I didn't really feel this show, I don't know what to say... 🤷 Should I mention that I also tried rewatching The Terror but I was like "oh hell no!" after the first episode?! 😅 In my defense I watched it at night, and the show is A LOT and nearly killed me the first time, yeah ok I'm making excuses but I have to be in a certain state of mind to watch certain things and The Terror is one of those cases - I already mentioned I'm complicated with my watching experience, yes?! 😜 Anyway it was a rewatch so it shouldn't count sssshhhh 🤫😁

Currently reading: more like, the books I've put on hold atm, ouch! True that this year, especially in the first half, I've read way more than I expected and definitely way more than I usually do, but that's not an excuse to make a pause - still, I'm realizing that it's been few weeks since I've picked up my readings! Anyway, what I've been reading is Mercanti avventurieri by Attilio Brilli, which collects stories about merchants and their travels and trades through the centuries; Columbus by Lawrence Bergreen, the account of Cristoforo Colombo's voyages in America - not happy enough of ending up horrified and outraged by the chronicle of Magellano's expedition (by the story and events, not the author's writing, which I actually appreciated a lot), I decided to educate myself more about another so called "pioneer" who thanks to his hubris committed terrible atrocities in the name of "progress" and "religion" and "civilization" and so on 😡 , since the little knowledge I have about Colombo comes mainly from my years at school... Despite the fact that my respect for this man is nowhere to be seen, I'm still somehow fascinated by the narration of sea voyages, which in the end are actually my main interest when reading this kind of stories; Atlante delle fortune di mare di Cyril Hofstein, an account of tales about (mis)fortunes at sea, involving incidents, lost treasures, mysterious events, discoveries, disappearances, disasters and so forth - btw, in the book there is this particular chapter:

The disappearance of the Erebus and Terror is the title - the real story is terrifying enough even without creating a fictional horror show inspired by it jfc!

And lastly, this is definitely the less "serious" reading, The Lawrence Browne affair by Cat Sebastian, one of my first attempts at reading "proper" (meaning they're not fanfictions, not that I don't consider those "proper" literature, on the contrary many of them are written far better than some published books I've read, so yeah, I should say "published" instead) erotic novels lmao 😝 This was a whim really, I felt I wanted to read something light, "wicked" and not to be taken seriously (it also was probably some sort of "knee-jerk reaction" to many of the queer books I read this year, which were sad, depressing and/or tragic 😔)! Romance novels are not really my jam in general, but every once in a while they don't hurt, since I'm doing it just for fun! This one is actually the second book of a trilogy, more disappointing than the first book I have to say, which was more "juicy" and entertaining! 😁

Currently listening to: ah, this is a tough one to pinpoint, because lately my Spotify is on shuffle most of the time (I have a folder literally called "Miscellanea" that keeps a bit of everything, it's a glorious mess lol), and my music preferences are rather varied... Let's say that if I have to consciously choose something at the moment, there would certainly be Poets of the Fall, Gaelic Storm, The Irish Rovers, Santiano (in general celtic folk/punk songs, especially if inspired by sea and sailors stories- those are good for all seasons 🥰), Two Steps From Hell, J2 and "epic music" in general, and dance-pop music from '70 to '00, original or remixes, especially when I work out in the last case!

Currently working on: do crosswords count? It's my newest pursuit lol 😆 Because otherwise I'm afraid I'm not working on anything in particular at the moment (and I should start, since I had a couple of ideas for gifts for Christmas that alas, have to be handcrafted in order to be created, and if I want to have them done I am the one who must work on them, ugh can you believe it, outrageous, what has the world come to 😂)... I occasionally do a bit of calligraphy, create costume jewellery or create little macramè things, again usually trinkets but this summer I bought thicker yarns so I could have a go at something a little bigger like coin purses, wallets and little bags, and all in all it didn't go that bad:

The problem is, at least with the purses, that with these dimensions I can't fit half the things I usually bring with me when I go out because "you never know what might happen I might need this thing", so these purses were more like first tries and will likely not be used by me very much because they are too small for my necessities! 😅 In any case, I had to put this activity on hold for a bit because I lacked some time to dedicate myself to it!

Oh, wait, does trying to repair a porcelain ornament that fell on the floor (not because of me, I want to clarify, for once that I don't accidentally bump into stuff and make a mess - which happens more often than I'd like 😅) count? Hardly but whatever, anyway it's going to be complicated to glue the pieces back, some have shattered in such tiny fragments, sigh...

Current obsession: I'm almost shocked to report that at the current moment no particular obsession has consumed my every waking hour 🤣 I mean, even the flame of padel, which I've been following almost religiously all year, has dimmed a little, but it is the end of the season/year, everyone is tired and so am I apparently, rooting for couples who almost never have significant results (story of my life lol), so I guess I'm recharging the batteries for another round of hopeless cheer next year, yay! 🥳 For the rest, in terms of media I believe there is nothing of significance to report in terms of proper "obsession" for the time being, so yeah, that's it 😌 (the times of Black Sails or even Agents of SHIELD are far behind me, I miss being that "obsessed" tbh ☹️)

Tagging @thelifeinmyshadesofgrey , @whitestnoise , @lives-ruined-and-bloodshed, @valentinaonthemoon , @mednay , @tirairgid (ofc if you want to and haven't done it before) and whoever wants to give it a go really!

[agoodflyting]

We know that Berenice was placed in a glass coffin for her resting place; however in the early parts of the last book, Cabal mentions to Horst when discussing Alisha’s resting place that glass coffins are for “fairy-tale princesses”. Do you think this means Cabal views Berenice as his fairytale princess and he’s her knight? ;) We know that she’s quite beautiful in her “sleep” and Cabal also says that he’d move heaven and earth to save her.

Idk why I'm getting Cabal series asks now but I dig it

Alas I actually haven't read the last book yet (I'm savoring them slowly because there's so few) so I can't weigh in on the other question. This one though...

So I can't see Cabal actively thinking of himself and Berenice in those terms. He clearly prides himself on being realistic and coldly pragmatic, which doesn't fit with having those sorts of fanciful ideas. But he's also so deeply compartmentalized and out of touch with his own emotions that I think it's definitely a subconscious thing.

He's not sitting there thinking of it in those terms, but he's still doing things that are very fairy-tale-esque for the same reasons that fairy tale characters do them- he's just willfully not making the connection between those two things because it doesn't fit his self-image.

Kind of like in that one short story where he and Zarenyia are talking about mad scientists always being instinctively driven to live in high towers, and he belatedly realizes he does all his own experiments in the top floor of a very tall house.

So yes and no? Deep down inside, I think that's pretty close to how he feels about himself and Berenice... but the idea is so counter to how he views himself and he's so good at shutting out any thoughts that don't serve his present goal that he probably doesn't realize that's what he's doing. To the point where I think he would be SO OFFENDED if Horst pointed it out to him.

I think Cabal is a good example of the 'still waters run deep' trope. He's a lot more emotional and probably feels things a lot more keenly than he shows anyone, including himself.