#and I haven't made a backup in ages because I've had other things on my mind

[running-in-the-dark]

I think I need to make a list. not sure of what, but a list would probably help.

[robo-dino-puppies]

I'm so tired ughhhhh for the past whatever months basically everyone who I've ever helped out with petsitting decided to take vacations one after the other so I've been running around doing that, and although I do love (most 😅) of the pets it's really not my favorite to stay at other people's houses. all my stuff is at home :( so that's exhausting.

I'll put some good things first:

-saw some snakes finally! I haven't seen as many this year as I used to. this one wanted to be a square I guess?

-SMOL CRAB

-took care of a friend's cat and he is an AFFECTION MACHINE so that was sweet (Sophie is not very affectionate. I mean she can be, but only in her own way, and because of that I really truly appreciate when she shows me any scrap of kindness lmao. but I miss having a cat that wants to just hang out with me…)

-despite being all over the place I have managed to play dragon age thank u gaming laptop - I'll do another post for that :D

cut for the less fun stuff~

some annoying/angry-making things that just all added up:

-phone had a spicy pillow battery situation, luckily nothing exploded or caught on fire (tho it got SUPER FUCKING HOT - thankfully I had a backup phone of the same model bc I'm not ready to give up my headphone jack)

-but when I transferred all my shit, an app I use for my job got cranky and I have no idea why! I've switched phones before and it's been fine! and this is the exact same model!

-the weather (hot)

-tendon in my elbow got mad when walking a new-to-me dog that likes to pull

-elderly neighbor had a health situation that I was the first one to discover (she's fine but. it was stressful)

-there are a lot of small flying bugs swarming everywhere. I keep walking into them

-elderly neighbor nearly fell multiple times when I was on a walk with her and her dog and I had to dive to catch her so she wouldn't faceplant

-which made muscles on one side of my back and the opposite shoulder very angry

-inevitably: swallowed a bug

-I walked a mild-mannered dog I'm familiar with but when some unleashed (friendly-looking) dogs approached her she started FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT snarling, lunging, barking (while my muscles were still sore from elderly neighbor incident)

-owner was like "oh I thought I told you. yeah she's started reacting aggressively to random dogs sometimes" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ OK THAT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT

-🤬

-also angry at people who let their dogs off leash in public areas

-people who don't pick up their dogs' shit

-… people

-there were guests of that dog's owners staying at her house so I had to coordinate by text every time I went to walk her and… I know this is like. a dumb first-world social anxiety problem but. it was just exhausting. they were nice and it was fine but two weeks of texting strangers multiple times a day was just ONE MORE THING

-said dog apparently stole a bunch of muffins from them so while on a walk with me she had diarrhea. to put it... mildly. (she's a golden and has plenty of butt-fur) fun!

-allergies

-headaches

like. can i not be so tired anymore. that would be nice.

[ashanimus]

I got invited to Renfaire for fantasy weekend at the last minute this year by an old friend and it's been the first time in years that I've been strong enough to go to an event like this without the risk of incapacitation for 8+ days or after. I have a weird immune condition that reacts to stress but also physical pressure and makes all this horrific, immobilizing, on fire-inflammation when it's triggered (this is important for later). Wearing heeled shoes almost invariably do this, even short, comfy ones.

I haven't cosplayed since the Homestuck Days but I was insanely excited to go and despite the strictures of a newish full time job (when does a job stop being new? I still feel new. Ive been at this for almost four months? Feck). Now, one thing my friends know of me is that when it comes to creative things, the unhealthful combination of insecurity and vanity make it near impossible for me to not over-commit myself to an artistic folly.

So I quickly assembled a Very Cool Classic-ish Satyr costume. It includes these great furry legs with a fun little tail. I got an awesome black huipil with hand embroidered flowers on it, a cool little corsety belt. Ears and little deer horns that were brown with silver tips. Did nails to match. I had fangs in, red contacts to match the flowers on my huipil.

And then there were. The hooves.

They are made out of tall, heavy bottomed pumps with the heel sawed off. The hoof part is made of heavy resin with hot glue for traction. So you're on the balls of your feet without the heel, which is fine for flat surfaces. Flat.

My stupid ass thought it was a great idea to wear these to Renfaire. I have never been. But I was warned by concerned experienced people at the costume supply store where I picked up a staff real quick (because it did take me like three weeks to realize I'd ASSUREDLY need one for balance to walk extended distance) that the site this year was a bumpy field full of loose gravel and dust. I have a high pain tolerance! I want compliments.

The walk from our parking space to the fair itself was excruciating. It wasn't painful--yet--just slow going and stupid because as sure-footed as I am I had to be careful to not roll and break my god damn ankles because of the hilly, pockmarked field where the divots are hidden by hay, grass and gravel.

I walked over a mile and a half in these things over that terrain. I sure got my fucking compliments!! Concerned merchants asked me to sit on their couches (I did). People took pictures, little kids liked my hooves. But I ended up needing a trip to the first aid tent because I developed a savage blister that with all the dust needed cleaning and the Reaction on the other foot. My friend, the fairy queen and my handler for all intents and purposes plopped me at the bleachers where they were doing the jousts and horse stuff for an hour to go get the backup outfit (and it gave her a chance to wander freely at not a glacial pace and catch up with some of her people).

I knew I was going to Suffer so I was in for a penny in for a pound. But all of this is just the precursor to the more succinct truth of the experience. I was smiling the whole time because everyone, even in the blistering heat, was SO happy to be there.

Ive never seen such unfettered and shirtless joy at an event. Everyone of every age, every size from tiny little ones bouncing with their fairy wings to ancient grannies tottering around in shiny wire crowns and trailing gowns in the white dust. Fat and thin alike people wearing resplendent outfits furnished with body paint and chains with big old thigh slits and intense makeup. Mermaids with glittering tails and wheelchairs fashioned into shelled thrones, druids with a private forest festooning their walkers. Everyone yelling, singing, everyone playing and committing to the bit and having a grand old time. It made everyone, absolutely everyone in melting makeup and beginning stages of sunburn absolutely beautiful!

One of of the merchants I liked best was standing outside his and his partners tent--some kind of clothier making beautiful jackets. He had this great druid beard and playful blue eyes, and he stopped me as we were walking and earnestly approached me with, "Have you seen the coat we made for you? :3 and pulling a coat about my size off the rack, "As you can see there's a slit in the back, perfect for your tail!"

And breaking character for a second he was like "Seriously, regardless of if you get anything you're always free to use our couch to rest."

Everything was so gosh darned cute. Everyone was so unashamed and having fun. I got to do a Haggle on behalf of my much shyer friend. Since i was already in for pain I thought I'd try mead and see how my system handled it and it was fine! I got halfway to tipsy in the sweltering shadow of the beer garden and screamed myself hoarse (as you do! Being a good audience member is the least one can do for any performance! Clap and scream!!) in the stands at the joust where hot men on horses performed some genuinely incredible and dangerous combat re-enactments.

Today, I can barely walk and I have reactivity on my left hand because of how hard I had to hold my staff. So Im staying back in shady spots today with a wifi hotspot (SINCE APPARENTLY VERIZON DOESNT HAVE SERVICE OUT HERE?? THE ONLY PROVIDER THAT DOESNT). But man. Absolutely worth it. I want to go again so badly, with more friends for another few days of exuberant crafts, and play in this magical place of creativity yess--but its a magical little kingdom absent of shame.

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 10 - Sangsure (Mega Leech)

I'm not very willing to write a post about this episode, but I need to try, as I decided to make ones for every single season 4 one. I can't say I liked it, since it felt more childish than any other episode (I often had a feeling like I'm watching a show for preschoolers) and the whole situation there was just absurdy stupid. It's great that they wanted to draw children's attention to the environmental protection, but they could make more of an effort while writing its main theme. Even those worse season 1 episodes haven't been that stupid. Sorry, it's Miraculous, not PJ Masks, we have full rights to expect something at least a bit more reasonable. Even for target audience (that's kids at age of 5+ according to Thomas Astruc) this episode could be seen as ludicrous. My almost 11 years old nephew likes to point out some illogical things in cartoons, so I'm sure this episode would make very little sense to him as well, if any. I said that Guiltrip felt too childish to me, but now I should say, that episode seems much better in comparison to this.

I don't want even say what's absurd in this episode, it should be obvious for everyone. No one would cut down the trees only to build towers that will produce fresh air to sell in the bottles. And a examination of committee of experts would be done before startig the project, not after. But even if, there would be a lot more activists who would protest agains that, than just one teen girl and her boyfriend. Paris is a big city with two millions of citizens, I'm sure there live thousand of environmental activists. But I need to say that real-life commercials are sometimes even more stupid that the one from this episode (I feel bad for Adrien for being involved in something like that), so that aspect was actually realistic. :P

Poor Myléne, she deserves better than just two episodes with very cheaply written lesson about overcoming your own fears. I think Horrificator was one of the weakest season 1 episodes, but even that was better than Mega Leech. Myléne is a such sweet girl and her role of a environmental activists is really great, especially these days when educating people about need of the environmental protection is crucial for our planet. But I wish they would use her character better.

But I very, very like her superhero costume, it's my favourite hero desing from this season till now (I know that all, or most, of the Miraculous users have been spoiled some time ago, but I'm trying to avoid seeing pictures of them). I've always thought Mutlimouse is so sweet, but Polymouse could be even cuter. I like that he has a hood with mouse ears, it makes her stand out from Multimouse even more. I only wish they would show her using a weapon in the battle (which is the jump rope). Also that was nice to see her how her real hair looks like exactly in the transformation sequence, that's really great and has more orchestral music theme which doesn't sound too cute or corny.

I said before that Ladybug should not call backup heroes those have been exposed before, but in this episode it made more sense, since it was late in the battle, it happened fast, and Ladybug already had a plan what to do with them. It was nice to see them, especially that there was no Rena Rouge among them (although it's definitely only because it's a pre-Optigami episode, I expect to see her in every single one since she's the permanent heroine), even if their roles were minimal. But is Ryuuko ever going to get a full transformation sequence and music theme?

I realized that this season have barely any completely new characters that are akumatised. There are more new sentimonsters. As for now it was only Zoé, but I'm pretty sure that the scientist seen in Rocketear will be one of them and I remember Thomas saying something about a football player. I understand that's for saving money and because the characters need to get their own protective charms, so I won't be surprised if we will see all of them akumatised one more time (it might mean another akumas of Luka and Kagami). At least more important of known characters got the new forms.

Oh, the end of it is obviously a reference to the Gabriel Agreste episode that should have been aired just before Mega Leech. Now we can clearly see that it's theme is probably: "Adrien is unable to stand up to his father", Guiltrip suggests that as well.

--------

I love that this time we finally got an episode which wasn't a part of annoying Alya's arc, again. Sadly, it wasn't a good one. Maybe Crocoduel will be decent (and yes, I'm avoiding spoilers, so I know nothing about that).

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Your nan in? Janis: what? Jimmy: not a hard question, does she work weekends or what? Janis: stop trying to get with my nan, freak Jimmy: I'm trying to do nowt, our kid is Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby with a lewk on and some kind of gift for Libi because he's asking her out lowkey] Jimmy: so go on, she there or not? Janis: Aw Janis: where's he off to? Janis: I'm looking after Libi, dunno if it's classed as punishment or they just wanted to piss off out for the day that bad Jimmy: Asia's sister's having a 🥳🎂🎁 and he don't wanna go on his own Jimmy: last night were the first I heard Jimmy: so I said I'd ask if he can invite Libi out Janis: relatable Janis: wouldn't wanna face all those 🦷🦷 alone either Janis: I'll show her the 📸 sure she'll be pure buzzing Jimmy: it's alright for you I've gotta piss about and translate 'cause none of them can be bothered to learn how to talk to him Jimmy: not til 🕑 loads of time to put her 👗👠👑 on but he's been ready for ages Janis: I mean, glad they haven't just assumed they can shout really, really loud at him Janis: only cute when she does it, obvs Janis: but that's shit, Asia's gonna think you're hanging about to 👀 her, you know Janis: 👗👠👑 and everything Jimmy: I were 🤞 she wouldn't wanna be there surrounded by kids and that, but they probably are her mental age Jimmy: be a right laugh then, this 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 now I can convince the pair of them to go do something else Janis: they're weird about it Janis: great for the 'gram pretending you're bezzies with your little sisters Jimmy: the rest of the #squad gonna be there then? Janis: not 💀👑 or #2 I doubt Janis: maybe the others though Jimmy: I get it, they'd scare the kids Jimmy: float away if they grab a 🎈 Janis: with their combined BMI, no point pretending they wanna be future mummy bloggers Janis: 🩸🩸 pact it ain't Jimmy: sure Azerbaijan or whatever her name is, is gutted they ain't coming Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Auntie Mimi Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you got a 👗👠👑  there you can chuck on an' all? Janis: so nice of you to reckon I'm ready to step in to sign backup Jimmy: you know loads of insults, that's all the birthday girl ever has to say to him Janis: she must be unbearable Janis: Asia with less filter, some fucking how Janis: I can come with Jimmy: tah Jimmy: it were doing his head in 💭 what it might be like Janis: understandable Janis: kids are dicks Janis: but if everyone else is going, you don't wanna be the one who don't Jimmy: yeah, he weren't having that Janis: they'll have a good time Janis: providing he ain't 😳 to be seen with her Janis: she's putting on some kind of costume rn Janis: might need to 👍👎 Jimmy: he'll be chuffed Jimmy: if this party had been the other year with his mates from home he'd have put his own 👗👠👑 on Janis: Asia's probably dressed bday girl up in a matching 'fit with her Janis: lovely visual, not weird as fuck Janis: they'll be the most 😎 ones there, deffo Jimmy: I'm wrapping a weird doll with massive 👀 that looks like her on a night out rn Jimmy: [a picture] Janis: ✝️✝️✝️ Janis: gonna tell the hot priest to book that in after me Jimmy: sent a 🎁 list, her mini me, you ever heard of such a pisstake? Jimmy: mate, you're turning 7 Janis: bad enough when adults do it just 'cos they've decided to do the paperwork Janis: that's some bullshit Jimmy: she's such a little twat 🤞 Libi gives her the shit 🎅 treatment Janis: letting her bring her whatever tat she's picking up about the gaff Janis: go ahead, like Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: brb gonna go dress in all black like those dickheads who work puppets Janis: when are you not all in black though Jimmy: loads Janis: 🏫 don't count Janis: no choice Janis: or whatever the CG uniform is Jimmy: 1. I weren't on about school 2. you know what the uniform is, you've been in Janis: not committed it to memory like Janis: soz Janis: have to 💭 about Pete more, you're right Jimmy: you did 👀 at it enough, dickhead Jimmy: but I get it, my 👀 are up a bit from the apron Jimmy: very PG, you Janis: PC and PG Janis: 💔 Jimmy: good thing I've got you to rein me in at this bollocks party Janis: not a wet blanket Janis: but this party will probably be traumatizing enough so you're welcome anyway Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: she can stay at ours after if she wants, let you piss off and do something that ain't Janis: oh, yeah, cheers Jimmy: no bother Janis: if you ever need, he can come here Jimmy: take you up on that when this Sharon's gone and Ian's hanging about 💔🎻😭 Janis: a new one? Janis: or is xmas Sharon back Jimmy: doing the rounds her Jimmy: be a record Janis: 😱 Janis: buy a hat Jimmy: get another exorcism booked, more like Jimmy: been trying to 🙏 her away Janis: he's a little preoccupied rn Janis: oops, soz, He's Jimmy: bloody typical Janis: shit nan got in early and they're like 🤝 Janis: do anything for her Janis: priorities Jimmy: 💔 she won't do owt for me Jimmy: reckoned I'd made a top first impression Janis: @ her Jimmy: what is it? Janis: @godandmejudgingeverybody Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: she reckons so too Jimmy: I worked that out when we 🤝 Janis: BFFs in the making Jimmy: obvs Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: if she's chucking about incense an' all, I might do Janis: Poor boy Janis: baptism of 🔥 ain't far off Jimmy: still 😱😱 you didn't do that to Lucas' car Jimmy: what did I even bother giving you a lighter for, girl? Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: you didn't see how fucked it was Janis: talk 😱😱 like Freddie got hold of it Jimmy: where's the 📷s? Janis: love keeping evidence on my phone, me Janis: think on Janis: getting us out of detention, not back in Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em, calm yourself down Janis: see for yourself Monday Janis: not like he can afford a replacement or paint job Jimmy: he'll have had it done piss poor Janis: just some emulsion Janis: not for his baby Jimmy: gotta do what you've gotta do Jimmy: we've all nicked out the 🎨 cupboard Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: oh so you don't want today's? alright Jimmy: ❌ Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: in the 🗑 now, Janet Janis: shut up Janis: give it me Jimmy: when I see you Jimmy: can't have you feeling left out about all these 🎁s Jimmy: our kid's been trying to pick half the garden like it ain't winter Janis: so smooth, that one Jimmy: SO 😍💕🤝 the pair of them Janis: it's pretty cute Janis: for now Jimmy: can't wait to see how many Josephs the star of the nativity's got Jimmy: bet her sister and me can't count that high Janis: you calling a 7 year old a slag? 😏 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 💭 about someone else then, my bad Jimmy: that sounds like you, we're back on track Janis: now I'm a slag Janis: have been chatting to my nan Jimmy: ain't my fault 💀👑 reckons 💭 is cheating if anyone else does it Janis: the dissonance between that and 1. what she do and more importantly 2. what daddy do Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: dunno what your 🤓🗨 means but she's a hypocrite, yeah Janis: come on Janis: left out cognitive for you Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: Bill wanted you to have that Janis: that's why he's my fave Jimmy: alright, I'll leave you to @ him Janis: OR Janis: you could be nice to me and I'll reconsider my ratings Jimmy: invited you to a 🥇 party a bit ago Jimmy: don't get nicer than that, dickhead Janis: **a shit party, possibly the shittest if Asia's had fuck all to do with organizing Janis: but you are bringing me a pity present so 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, it's a masterpiece Jimmy: and I'm having Libi for you when she's 🎂🧁🍭🍬😁 Janis: you aren't offering spoilers Janis: but you did offer that Jimmy: you can have one that I reckoned wouldn't be #goals enough Jimmy: [funny doodles shading the gals and this party etc, we know what I'm saying] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: it's 🤓 goals Jimmy: you can frame it, just don't stick in on your story Janis: still know what I'm doing Janis: not been that long Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: teaching you signing is one thing Janis: oi Janis: you don't need to teach me nothing about #goals Jimmy: you do alright Janis: better than any other bitch could Jimmy: that'll be why I picked you Jimmy: not some other lass Janis: don't act like you're regretting it then Jimmy: if I were performing that scene it'd be loads more dramatic Janis: wait for your cue Jimmy: how about you stop reading ahead Janis: 🤪 Jimmy: I said you were doing alright not that I were regretting owt Janis: I don't like the sound of alright Janis: sounds a bit participation 🏆 Jimmy: *🥈 Janis: that means 🥈 as a team Janis: joint effort Jimmy: it means you're 🥈 to my 🥇 Janis: bollocks Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you're no better Janis: we do the same amount Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you can't be 🥇 on your own Janis: ✊🍆 Jimmy: couldn't be #goals on my own Janis: same thing Jimmy: is it? Janis: with what we're talking about Jimmy: I were giving you my review, not the fans Janis: I know how big your head is Janis: no need to 💬 Jimmy: you can have a 🥇 for how massive yours is an' all Janis: I don't want that one Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: 🥇 review Jimmy: that's what you had before you picked holes in my wording Janis: fine Janis: say it again and I'll 🤐 Jimmy: I'll 🤐 Janis: UGH fine Jimmy: 🙄 ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: if I wanted to chat to my sister Janis: I'd ask if she was coming Jimmy: and if I wanted my lines corrected I'd @ Bill's 👻 Janis: maybe if I 🔊 'em I'd feel different Jimmy: I'll follow Libi's lead Janis: as long as it's before the shindig Janis: doesn't sound #goalz Jimmy: we'll have to whisper then Jimmy: wouldn't want the birthday girl to hear me calling her a twat Janis: 😏 Janis: not 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: heaven forbid Jimmy: have to have our own party and have it be up to us what's 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: we should Janis: but where Jimmy: we can have it here 🤞 they'll trash the place and Ian'll be so 💔🎻😭 he packs what's left up Janis: alright Janis: but where are you putting the kid Janis: your sister can hang maybe but call me crazy, six is a bit too young Jimmy: with his 👰? Janis: 💡 Janis: we could set that up Janis: my nan works with kids, the non-shit one Libi lives with Janis: he'd be good Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: ✔👍 Janis: BUT WHAT WILL WE WEAR Jimmy: OMG! Jimmy: 🛍🛍🛍!! Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: YAAAAAAAASSSSSS Jimmy: what are you actually wearing for this bollocks in a bit though? Jimmy: 🚫💡 me Jimmy: do I go #goals or do her head in? Janis: you don't wanna look like you've made a special effort for her Janis: but I will be there so 🤔 Janis: go hot but more what they 💭 I'm into Jimmy: so dress like a lass? alright Janis: 😒❌ Janis: peak 'you' Janis: twat Jimmy: 😎 I get it Janis: 👏 Janis: there you go Jimmy: tah 😘 Jimmy: would HATE to upstage the birthday girl Janis: I've checked their socials to make sure I do Janis: as you asked Jimmy: should be in the group chat Jimmy: [shows her pisstakey qs he's been sending Asia] Janis: I turned the notifs off Jimmy: they do go on and on Jimmy: I won't 🗨 that'll be why you're 🥈 Janis: they wanna 🗨 to you Janis: not me Jimmy: but I want to talk to you Jimmy: and read what you have to say to them, obvs Janis: okay, fair point Jimmy: you're funny, said that before Janis: I won't  🗨 if it's list worthy Jimmy: alright, I won't tell you Janis: 😔 Jimmy: what? Janis: now I wanna know, obviously Janis: but Jimmy: but? Janis: won't ask won't tell Jimmy: so ask Janis: well you'll probably just say nah now Jimmy: make me sound like more of a dickhead Janis: you're not Janis: you just take the piss Jimmy: I know when to leave it out Janis: okay Janis: so does it? Jimmy: why wouldn't it? Janis: I know I'm great and have a MASSIVE head and everything Janis: but don't crack myself up Janis: 🤣🤣🤣😬 Jimmy: it's my list Jimmy: dunno why that's hard to get your head round Jimmy: you don't get a say what's on it and it don't matter if you agree or not Janis: alright Janis: were just saying why it might not be Jimmy: alright Janis: but is it Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: not gonna have a list of things and just not put something I give you loads of compliments about on it Janis: okay Janis: 😎 Jimmy: 🚭 for a bit 💔🎻 Janis: might have cigars Janis: is a birthday Jimmy: one Asia might've organised Janis: those candy ones Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 Janis: Bobby will be in his impression element Jimmy: he'd have to take Libi's fav 🖍 out from behind his 👂 Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: goals when she realises Janis: so 😍 Janis: she's done him a picture Janis: tell him to pretend it's good Jimmy: well harsh critic, you Jimmy: dunno if I wanna give you this 🎨 now Jimmy: or tell him owt 'cause he's been trying to get us to go knock on your nan's door for ages Janis: she's 4, and not picasso Janis: that's not mean Janis: we are ready, if he wants to come play first, or go to the park Janis: whatever Jimmy: you've near had my 👂 off, don't make me van Gogh Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: awh Janis: don't be 💙 Janis: come over Jimmy: okay Janis: you don't have to Janis: but she's rabid too Jimmy: I've left, not gonna turn him back round Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up so Bobby can adorably ask Libi to come to this party with him like it's a date on the doorstep and Jimothy can give his bae a single 🌹 for the shakespearean romance of it along with this 🎨 which I like to think isn't just a doodle like the rest but a full moment because she really inspired him by getting them out of detention] Janis: [she will be thrilled, love to imagine how iconic the party fit we've assembled is, a whole mishmash of things we love you know the vibe, probably gonna smooch him like what a lovely surprise and this is her romcom now lmao, thank god these kids be distracted 'cos we are likewise overwhelmed af by both these gestures in a way we don't even want babbies to see thank you] Jimmy: [I know that you'd never be able to find a lewk iconic enough for this mvp so I shall imagine it, likewise glad that these children are having their rom com moment because adorable but also because Jimothy would be feeling so awks because we don't normally try with our art and don't think we're good at it, go show Bobby your room gal, kids love doing that and JJ can have a cuppa or something and calm down] Janis: [yeah idk what pinterest rabbit hole I'd have to go down but doubt we'd get the desired effect, I'm thinking some kind of superhero moment on top w a cape, then a tutu, then some snazzy boots, then a crown, you know exactly the moment we're wilding and Asia's sisters are gonna be like oh lmao, probably put Killer in the garden so she doesn't bowl Bobby over immediately but you can go play with her too, just keep looking at this art shamelessly 'cos he's stepped his game up and we are impressed, also finding a way to braid this rose into our hair which again doubt I'll get a photo but it'd be a lewk as well, go sit with your cuppas like the parents you are lol] Jimmy: [yeah they are usually v basic with their children's lewks you'd need instagram or like a celeb who lets their kid dress themselves and even then, might not be the vibe, Asia's sisters can honestly fuck off because we know the older one who's like younger than Cass so in my head probably like 9/10 is an even bigger bitch so, what's important is how buzzing these kids are because haven't seen each other for ages and how 😳 Jimmy is by her reaction to the art and her hair lewk and how shamelessly he'd be checking her out when she was making the tea because we know she's also wearing one] Janis: [like she's 4 hens idk what to tell ya, she does not care for your shade, we're having a time, we all know the gals, whoever be there, will be going for an overly girly look so you'd win by default but we've clearly tried 'cos want to and we know why] Jimmy: [not soz that she's not 7 going on 17 like the bday gal, idk about you but I feel like if Hollie has any siblings they are probably brothers so she has no reason to be there, so realistically none of them might be unless Grace is babysitting instead of working in the clothes shop in which case she might be but it wasn't really about any of you or for your benefit hens, plus that feels like a vibe because Asia probably was thinking she'd flirt with him] Janis: [tea, like she's a hoe so she don't care but she could've gone in if none of them were about so a mood, not soz to stop that awkwardness at all 'what continent is in his class then?'] Jimmy: [lbr Mia would be encouraging her to like she'd been trying to get Grace to when he first arrived so yeah, as for replying to the bae we just 😏 and shrugging as we make up loads of more and more ridiculous names] Janis: [we all know it, like okay ladies it's clearly not going anywhere but pop off embarrassing yourselves trying, just having a moment of doing that back and forth for the lols] Jimmy: [let it go Mia! we all know he'll have choked on his tea at least once because she is funny we weren't wrong] Janis: [we've missed this] Jimmy: [live your best lives kids even if he would keep getting distracted by the hair 🌹] Janis: ['any particular plan of attack or?'] Jimmy: ['you not leaving me on my own 'cause she'll have one for me' we're joking but lowkey where is the lie] Janis: [just a look that is like ew but obviously 'or with her ma' 'cos just imagining her as an older Asia like there's just all the generations here] Jimmy: [the look on his face would be everything because we've not even considered that] Janis: [just like mhmm, doubt you've ever met her mum in a real capacity girl but also doubt you're wrong lol 'dad did one for a reason...I'll protect you'] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like we're trying to hide which is obvs purely for the pisstake and not because we want to] Janis: [snuggling him back but in a really extra way to prove we're also in on the #bants of it all] Jimmy: ['you got a plan?' like is there anything you wanna do to fuck with the gals while we're there, blatantly still in the snugg as we say this] Janis: [thinking, not just to drag this whole experience out but you know, 'are we inviting them to the party?'] Jimmy: [drawing little ?s on her skin while she's thinking without thinking ourselves about how distracting that'd be or why we probably shouldn't rn 'depends'] Janis: [! when he's doing it but then doing it back to the depends] Jimmy: ['are we still their fake mates?' because lbr the temptation always to just tell them all to go fuck themselves and genuinely thinking about how she was gonna behave at this party if Janis wasn't there] Janis: [shrugs 'they're shit mates, we don't have to invite them and we could still use it later to fuck with them' like they'll get over the diss of not being invited so fuck it if we don't wanna] Jimmy: ['alright' boy you make me laugh does that mean you wanna invite them or you don't] Janis: [tickle him a bit like alright what, dickhead] Jimmy: [so fake offended like excuse you I'm not off my tits on Helena's pain meds today but we know he's actually okay because he's obvs ticking her back more than she did to him] Janis: [getting out 'I will kick you' but as a warning not a threat 'cos don't wanna actually injure you here boy] Jimmy: ['no you won't' lowkey sounds like a challenge there boy but we know you're saying she loves you too much 'not shit mates, us'] Janis: [a LOOK 'we're alright' 'cos didn't mean to drag you so much over a word, the feels are confusing and high] Jimmy: [return the LOOK 'and you are' because you're alright too still even though you did drag him 😏] Janis: [between 🤭 and 😳 like okay, I know, shh but we're not mad 'you' like you too bitch] Jimmy: [touch her hair like you've wanted to this entire time 'but this...' like this needs a word you won't drag me for because you've made such good choices gal 'not alright' because at the same time WE ARE AFFECTED AF] Janis: ['do something about it then' which IS a challenge but you know full well these kids are in and out/you have no time but do we care] Jimmy: [is going to pull her hair in that way that's meant to be playful and pisstakey but is saucy as all hell because of course he is] Janis: [trying so hard NOT to react and make a sound that the lip bite you have to do would be indecent Jimmy: [so indecent that he'd have to do his own while we run our thumb over her bottom lip like always] Janis: [kissing that thumb honey] Jimmy: [I hope the kids are busy because we're making a SOUND like it or not] Janis: [be in the bedroom playing happily tah] Jimmy: [you gotta because we're pulling her into our lap to kiss her] Janis: [we will let you have this 'cos you need to] Jimmy: [likewise gotta let him also pull whatever clothes he needs aside so he can do an epic lovebite somewhere where these kids nor the kids at this party can't see the massive bruise because they'd all have faded and that upsets me] Janis: [boo says not on my watch, I also sincerely hope mcvickers have gone somewhere for the day and don't just waltz in now because we are so into it] Jimmy: [soz but we've started something now without him stopping himself so we literally cannot stop, it has been forever since they last did any of this] Janis: [concerned he would never wanna again so we're doing the most rn] Jimmy: [I don't even need to say how into it he is] Janis: [bit rude of us to do this and send you to a kid's party but that's life] Jimmy: [I am that rude bitch] Janis: [if it wasn't rude to Bobby we'd just dump you on 'em but you know, this has dealt with some tension and increased the rest lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome but also I'm soz (I'm not though) hens] Janis: [gotta stunt on Asia so she can report back] Jimmy: [we shall and it'll be glorious] Jimmy: [I was thinking there should be a person there doing the kids' make up and nails because she's 7 going on 17 and so Bobby should get his painted Libi's fave colour and vice versa] Janis: [that's cute as hell, Libi acting like this makeup lady is a facepaint one like make me this tah] Jimmy: [don't worry gal, jimothy will paint your face for you when we leave this party and it will be bomb because I feel like the makeup woman is like that hairdresser woman in the duchess who wouldn't let her daughter sit in the car] Janis: [Luckily you to lil to be made to feel embarrassed just like hmm you're not very good are you like can't make me a tiger? bit shit hen lmao] Jimmy: [sass everyone gal JJ are here for it and you know they'd also ask her to facepaint them, just coming at her with ideas until she's like please stop] Janis: [this woman trying to paint pink nails and do some sparkly gloss and we're like challenge yourself babes, also gonna scran this party food it better be good fam] Jimmy: [I hope it tastes alright at least even if it looks tacky as hell lol] Janis: [at least you can't not go the sugar route at a kids bday, can't make 'em eat salads n water lol] Jimmy: [imagine everyone dancing please, JJ be dancing, Libi and Bobby, Libi and Jimothy and Janis and Bobby] Janis: [a whole mood, imagine everyone's faces at all times it's so amusing] Jimmy: [I can't wait for when Asia reports all of this back to Mia and she sees all the content everyone is posting] Janis: [when has a boy ever, the idea of even bringing one home horrifies y'all] Jimmy: [not at all soz that he's actually the softest boy ever and loves both of these bubs instead of whatever weird barista stereotype y'all thought] Janis: [they obvs thought he was 😎 stereotype for real like ok gals] Jimmy: [omg just saw on Pinterest these cards like who knows the bday girl best that you fill in and we have to have JJ fill in some for their own lols that they obvs aren't gonna give to this child but] Janis: [that's a must omg] Jimmy: [also there should be like a cupcake decorating station or something like that because the bubs would actually have fun doing that and JJ can be competitive doing theirs] Jimmy: [photobooth goes without saying but one where the photos come out and you can keep them because then we can have so many great mems thank you] Janis: [when we're just ignoring every guest lowkey love it] Jimmy: [obvs if there are kids in your class you fuck with Bobby you can proudly introduce Libi to them, cos let's assume they aren't all dicks] Jimmy: [and lowkey Libi can introduce Bobby because he's been too shy to talk to any of y'all] Janis: [statistically, some of you must be okay lol, also some kids lowkey like the shine of a 'different' kid and like to like help, which is cute even if it's a bit like oh you special, they don't mean it like that] Jimmy: [yeah at that age they are basically just trying to be nice and helpful so it's fine] Janis: [make some friends, Libi is v sociable so this should be fun and not as terrible as you worried, we got you babe] Jimmy: [at least if Libi has got this JJ can have a sec to themselves] Janis: [got to be couple #goals too, I mean we have been but like, keep Asia away] Jimmy: [because that's the ONLY reason honey not that we just wanna] Janis: [mhmm, obvs, not like we got interrupted from going there] Jimmy: [and we obvs think she's gonna just leave after this and go do whatever so we're trying to make the most of this time as if we won't shamelessly invite her in to have her face painted] Janis: [like where does she wanna be, she didn't even wanna beforehand but especially not now lol god bless] Jimmy: [like he probably thinks she wants to go 🐕🏃 for that 💰 but you could literally take these children with you sir] Janis: [like that is what we would do but we also want a life 'cos we've not for these last 3 going on 4 years and it's getting old] Jimmy: [the tea because likewise all he does is work and look after Bobby and Cass so we just wanna live our own life] Janis: [it's both what we want and good news guys you're gonna make it] Jimmy: [gonna be such good parents because you're already doing it now when you're literally 15 and not in a good headspace/situation] Janis: [letting you have fun first, we still gotta look after these kiddos but we're gonna get rid of Ian and Cass will be old enough to help and it'll all be better] Jimmy: [sounds like they are gonna kill Ian which makes me lol] Janis: [lmao, plottwist but no, lowkey what do happen to you Ian lordt] Jimmy: [please feel free to fuck off somewhere else like back up north sir] Janis: [that's a mood, like okay, bye then] Jimmy: [but anyway before we get derailed is there anything else you wanna do at this party or shall we skip?] Janis: [we probably know the vibes, we all had a good time despite the odds and the gals are gonna get the lowdown from Asia] Jimmy: [enjoy the walk back because the kids will be running ahead buzzing off all this sugar and their good time] Janis: [you should take both dogs out as y'all are buzzing, run off their energy too] Jimmy: [good idea because Twix do need to socialise too she's just a baby] Janis: [yeah Killer is a bit older now but she's still v excitable] Jimmy: [just two 🐕 gal pals] Janis: [love stories for all lollollol] Jimmy: [imagine all the artsy pics Jimothy would be getting like a little art hoe] Janis: [we're about it, such a family unit honestly it's wild] Jimmy: [I love it but not the awkward moment when they get back to mcvickers house to take Killer home and he has to be like are you coming to have your face painted or what because fully expecting her to be like nahhh] Janis: [DO YOU WANT YOUR FACE PAINTED BITCH, just seeming like we're like HELL YEAH 'cos we do wanna come] Jimmy: [also we should say mcvickers are back for the lols] Janis: [absolutely, we would've messaged them so they weren't like HELLO but now when we're going back to his it's like SeriousParentTime™] Jimmy: [maybe they won't let Libi sleep over so she's just coming for a bit because then once Bobby crashes they can actually live] Janis: [that makes sense for now, she's probably never had a sleepover outside of the fam because she's that small so go with that] Jimmy: [and lowkey we could potentially palm Bobby off on Cass to put to bed if they wanted to go to the pub or wherever because they are both serving lewks] Janis: [have walked the dog and had 'em all day, c'mon gal lol] Jimmy: [exactly but for now go and do your facepainting sesh because I vote that Bobby is a 🐺 seeing as it's like a dog upgrade and he's feeling himself today and that Jimothy gets the bae to do him as a 💀 for that flatwhite shade] Janis: [ooh, what do you wanna be gals] Janis: [hmm, Libi should ask for a galaxy moment 'cos Star, no pressure, get abstract lmao, maybe a vampire moment for you Janis] Jimmy: [let's not think about how up close and personal facepainting is lads] Janis: [but let's lmao] Jimmy: [please go return the favour of showing Libi your room and then like go on the trampoline or something children] Janis: [live your best lives so we can be here with our face paint on lol] Jimmy: [obvs offering her more tea] Janis: [just gesturing to our face like make it blood but obvs nodding 'cos duh] Jimmy: [he is a big enough nerd to like bring you a glass of water with red food colouring in it while the kettle boils] Janis: [🙄😏 'cos he's funny too hun] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna snatch that 🌹 out of her hair and put it in the water but obvs doesn't actually] Janis: [fake #shooketh 'no takebacks'] Jimmy: ['you wanna kill it an' all?' just flirting and sassing nbd] Janis: ['sure, blame me when you picked it' fake tut] Jimmy: [Oi, you inspired me, it is your fault' looks up dramatically to where Bill's ghost would be floating around 'and a bit his'] Janis: [flirty smiles at where Bill is like I don't mind hehe] Jimmy: [throw something at her like we're so fake jealous and fuming] Janis: [throw something back 'he can't help being a romantic'] Jimmy: [going to make that tea like uggggggggh] Janis: don't be jealous Janis: he 💕 you too Jimmy: he's just using me to get to you Jimmy: not as thick as I look Janis: how long were you chatting to asia Janis: sounds just like her Jimmy: if she's the unappreciated genius 🖋🎭 instead of me and my 🎨 FUMING Jimmy: plot twist too far, that Janis: 😂 Janis: think you're safe Janis: much to her 💔 Jimmy: I were a bit ago an' all, tah for that Jimmy: very 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: reckon you could take her in a fight but Janis: yeah Jimmy: not THAT northern, steady on Janis: you'd be doing her a favour Janis: 🦷🦷 Janis: so fuck that Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: if I were bothered about doing other lasses favours I'd open my DMs Janis: you've mentioned Jimmy: you want owt else while I'm here? Janis: all good Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm glad he ended up having a good time Janis: and not every kid in his class is a little twat Jimmy: only be 💔🎻😭 when she goes off home Jimmy: how it should be Janis: 😏 such a purist, you Jimmy: a what? Jimmy: sounds well like you're insulting us Janis: maybe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: LITERALLY just complimented you Janis: when? Janis: must be AGES ago Jimmy: I get it, you don't know how to tell time either Jimmy: it's alright, we'll work it out together Jimmy: [bring that tea in] Janis: [buzzing like we really need this tea, nothing to do with you] Jimmy: [we're totally also buzzing about this tea and not because she is, yep] Janis: [no one is this excited for a cuppa not even yous or us lol] Jimmy: [I like to think that he goes to kiss her and once again stops himself but this time it's only because of the face paint and we're looking in the direction of upstairs where the children are 'don't fancy having that Q&A' meaning Libi asking what happened if she appears and they have ruined it] Janis: ['she's a right cockblock' and what's meant to be a fake 😒 but we're not not lbr] Jimmy: [we're remembering when we played that game where you had to kiss without touching and reminding her about it like we could change the rules if you're up for that challenge] Janis: [nods 'cos don't trust ourselves to say ANYTHING about this idea] Jimmy: [picture this, he starts out by touching her hair OBVS because he's obsessed but then just gently pulling on her earlobe cos he would've put it in his mouth if he could've then going down her jawline and neck writing kiss or doing an ✔ depending on the surface area we have to play with using our fingertip and varying the amount of pressure depending if it would've been a hard or soft kiss and just doing that for all the skin that's available everywhere] Janis: [shan't because we can't cope and at least we can be obvious about that, these kids are busy and gotta do what we gotta do Jimmy: [gotta do what we've gotta do and we are doing the MOST on this sofa rn even though his entire family + Libi could appear any moment] Janis: [getting on top of you on this sofa even though it's a bad idea for all the above reasons, not to mention the eye contact it demands 'you're rude'] Jimmy: [but it's a good idea for the sound he would make when she did so we're unrepentant over here 'you' well done for getting the word out boy] Janis: [shaking her head and getting the most movement out of that 'you started it'] Jimmy: [pulling her even closer like yeah I did and I'm not soz] Janis: [running our finger across his neck like you should be 'Jimmy...' at least this would be quiet because we're that close but that's the only at least] Jimmy: [touching the lovebite he gave her earlier so deliberately with such intense eye contact like I am simply not though] Janis: ['takes the piss' and pouting 'cos literally vampire facepaint and she hasn't given him one yet] Jimmy: [running his thumb over that lip whilst doing his own pout because we wanna do the pouty lip bite thing SO BAD rn but we can't] Janis: [biting our lip where his thumb just was] Jimmy: [such a frustrated noise as if this wasn't his idea lol] Janis: [finally feeling like we've had a win there so we're smug] Jimmy: [tickling her like how dare you not also be dying here excuse you] Janis: [trying to pin his hands above his head like no no] Jimmy: [he's totally gonna end up pinning you to this sofa gal, just the sauciest playfight of all time happening] Janis: [we know we're breaking and we do not care, fight us Libi] Jimmy: [proud of you for lasting as long as you did tbh] Janis: [truly, have your lovebite and then some boy] Jimmy: [have to let you hook up here without anyone interrupting you or else you will both die] Janis: [have a quickie guys] Jimmy: [can't be dealing with your bad moods if you don't] Janis: [it has been days, which in your timeline is like nearly half of lmao so] Jimmy: [we all know you're extra] Janis: [gonna have to take Libi back soon gal] Jimmy: [everyone's gonna be gutted to be separated but the lads will walk you back because gentlemanly like that] Jimmy: [but for now have your tea that you're gonna have to put in the microwave because you never touched it] Janis: [my boo says HELLO] Jimmy: [also probably take your face paint off because I dread to think the state of it now] Janis: [the black face energy getting real lmao] Jimmy: [if you don't go do this together and mess about while you do by like having a water fight and only removing bits at a time so you look silly etc then I don't wanna know either of you] Janis: [obviously we must, also I think the bubbys paint should be a little smudged 'cos Libi keeps smooching him like my shameless boo] Jimmy: [so cute and I can imagine JJ just giving each other a look like 😏 because relatable] Janis: [gonna age Tess so hard gal] Jimmy: [be looking like her sim] Janis: [poor tess haha] Jimmy: [I really hope you don't actually put her through it as you're growing up hun, we've been through enough] Janis: [we do need to think about that now you exist in gen 4 kinda but like yeah, arguably we could also do bobby in the first part of the gen, ANYWAY THOUGH] Jimmy: [we could totally do some of them next if you want because we know they are gonna stay friends so] Janis: [cuteness and potential] Jimmy: [anyway is there anything else you wanna have happen before Libi goes home or no?] Janis: [we don't have to do it if you don't wanna but important to note you're obvs sleeping over right] Jimmy: [totally because I still think they should go out even if it's just to his local pub but it could also be in town out depending on the mood though I don't know how you're gonna be like DO YOU WANNA when you're yet again on this doorstep or wherever lol] Janis: [for sure, do something purely 'cos you wanna and there's no excuse or distraction] Jimmy: [exactly, because you obviously haven't yet since she got back] Janis: [or lowkey ever? you might've actually, xmas eve yeah nvm] Jimmy: [could be argued that the pub crawl was for content though whereas they literally don't need to do any more today so] Janis: [mhmm, we've slayed today, you could've gone home hun] Jimmy: [exactly and that's why this is so important but for real I don't know how he's gonna be like do you wanna not go in and come back with me yet again so there's that] Janis: [don't worry, you can probably just hook up and then be like may as well stay] Jimmy: [just throw Bobby at Cass when you get back and then you can leave] Janis: [though it might be a conversation™ 'cos she would go to leave if not immediately 'cos bit rude but early in the AM] Jimmy: [mhmm just gotta make himself too vulnerable by being like no no, hope you're at least a bit drunk guys] Janis: [sure you will be honeys, where do we wanna skip to then] Jimmy: [question is do we wanna do any of this night out and see what happens or just skip to the end? hm Janis: [always fun to do a night out, even if we skip around 'cos a lot of we know the vibe I'm sure but we can see peeps, things can happen, without it being drama central] Jimmy: [no drama please, we're trying to have a nice chill time] Janis: [exactly dr phil, and we can, there's been enough heightened emotions for a while and we've really brushed them under the rug tbh] Jimmy: [hence I'm like we should probably do this night out because when you're drunk stuff might come out] Janis: [pop off and let's ride lads] Jimmy: [the question is lads do you wanna go out out so we can really serve these lewks or stay local so you're less likely to see the world and his wife] Janis: [hmmmmm, I say go to town 'cos xmas eve you stayed local to her so go off] Jimmy: [that is true, lets go with that] Janis: [you can try and get in some of the more iconic dublin pubs and show him the sights so] Jimmy: [yeah because he wouldn't have been because he's only been here for like 2 months now and we know he's antisocial] Janis: [and you are but children, plus going out to drink on your own is depressing soz you can do lots of things alone but not that lbr] Jimmy: [literally he has done nothing since he moved here like we said before so I'm glad you have each other now] Janis: [unlikely we've done it before either 'cos age, like but we'll know where to go] Jimmy: [I vote you have to only order drinks that cliché tourists would] Janis: [really annoying cocktails they hate making etc] Jimmy: [and Guinness like you think you're doing something] Janis: [you'll be so full lol] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 🤰 Jimmy: 👶'll be 🍀💚🎩🌈 as fuck Janis: if it makes it Janis: 🥴 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 as you, obvs Janis: n'awh Janis: you 👍? Jimmy: I am now you've broke that news Jimmy: 😁 Janis: we're all buzzing Janis: reason to celebrate never needed when you're 🍀💚🎩🌈 but Jimmy: @iantaylor8 🏆 for most chuffed of all about the 🍀💚🎩🌈 bit Jimmy: 🍾🍻 Janis: not yours, basically white Janis: his round then? 😁 Jimmy: we'd need more luck than that to get him to 💰 owt now that 🎄 is done with Jimmy: have to kill and rob him Jimmy: but as far as celebrations go, wouldn't be 👎 Janis: let's come up  with plan #2 Janis: we can handle it Jimmy: how does the 👶 wanna do it? all about them now Janis: car bomb, obviously Jimmy: nod to its real dad Janis: pretty sure we did a big 💣 in manchester so ian will be #triggered Jimmy: just keep giving me more and more top news today, you Janis: kind of mate I am Janis: anything to see you 😁 Jimmy: [doing it IRL of course] Janis: [when he still looks good fuming tbh, squishing his face like ugh] Jimmy: [making it into a kissy face like you love me really] Janis: [pushing him away by his face but not as aggressive as that sounds and standing up to get more drinks in as Ian isn't gonna show] Jimmy: [pulls her back not as aggressive as that sounds either lol even though we know she's only leaving to get more drinks] Janis: ['oi!' and a look like whaaaaaa but it's a LOOK] Jimmy: [all the eye contact as he stands up and sit her down in his seat like no no not in your condition I will go] Jimmy: [*** unrelated to what we're doing now but I had an idea that earlier like when Bobby and Libi were doing their goodbyes cos don't need him to translate that Jimothy signed pub? at the bae in irish sign language because he doesn't know much yet and isn't trying hard to learn because he thinks they're gonna leave but he'd have learnt that as a pisstake anyway just wanted to put this here so I didn't forget that lil nugget of info my brain thought up at like 3am***] Janis: [love that for you boy, noted] Janis: [🙄 but loling like alright, if you wanna pay fine by me boy] Jimmy: [signing 'stay' from the bar because I feel like the bubs would've been doing that at Twix and Killer today so we can pretend that's purely pisstakey and no deeper] Janis: [🤨 but in a sassy manner] Janis: coming for my gig now? Jimmy: can't be taking 💰 off you that's 🍼 out the 👶's mouth Janis: you ain't gonna pay for it? Janis: rude Jimmy: OBVS, but I don't reckon 💀👑'll hear and crack on FINALLY 💰 me tips Janis: 💡 Janis: sleep with her dad, tell him it's his Janis: live off that hush 💰 Jimmy: more 🥇💡 DON'T but 🗨 you did after you've put something in his drink/ let him be a massive pisshead on it 'cause you understand him unlike his missus Jimmy: all we've faked up to now, DNA test'd be piss easy Janis: just have to snatch a bit of 💀👑's hair Janis: not hard Janis: saliva and we'd be fucked, dunno if she produces that any more Jimmy: have to hurry while she's still got hair Janis: bet #2 has some Jimmy: go round hers in a bit, can't wait, me Jimmy: 💭 if we found out 💀👑 weren't his Jimmy: they'd both be SO 💔🎻😭 to have to dump each other Janis: I wish Janis: only my family giving that level of drama Jimmy: 💔 you can't use 😭 to do a test, I'd have got Ian to crack on ages ago Janis: whoever's your dad is also Bobby's, that's for sure Jimmy: probably is him then, he ain't the sort to let his missus have bloke mates hanging round that long Janis: soz, mate Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: be a 🥇 looking 👶 at least Jimmy: all our shit parents got that bit right Janis: guess so Janis: tah for the genetics, I'll take it from here Jimmy: [bring those drinks boy and obvs get her up so you can sit back down in your seat and she can sit on you] Janis: [forever and always even though the eye contact it demands is cray, just smiling and drinking our drink] Jimmy: [likewise but also just doodling on her skin absentmindedly because we're in love and probably a bit drunk by now assumedly] Janis: ['you could do that for a job' we mean tattooist but that isn't very clear gal so we must be a lil tipsy] Jimmy: [shoutout to your future child, love that but obvs he's like ? and draws it on her] Janis: [just like ugh at ourselves 'tattoos and shit, you know' shrugs 'you got a plan?'] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we haven't let ourselves think about the future for so many reasons 'do you?'] Janis: ['nah' shakes head 'but I'll get by, don't need more, like'] Jimmy: [nodding because we get it and doing a cheers with this drink] Janis: [drink to that lads 'if anything, easier to walk dogs when I've got a car'] Jimmy: ['any time you wanna borrow Ian's, crack on' we're just thinking that he's too happy and settled rn and we need to annoy him more lol] Janis: [😏 and cheersing again like tah] Jimmy: number of 🐕s, should probably nick a 🚍 instead though Janis: can do that too Jimmy: can 😴 there an' all if you need to Jimmy: stretch out Janis: living in one seems like something my ma'd do though Janis: ❌ Jimmy: bet your shit nan's church group'd have their 👀 on it Janis: [visibly 😒] Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: [a lil feelsy lean like soz because we know she sucks even if we don't know what happened] Janis: [using it to push him off in a jokey get off kinda way, like you ain't sat on him rn] Jimmy: [messing about like you're both gonna dramatically fall off this chair but then lowkey hurting himself a lil bit though we're obvs playing that off as fake too but it's real because yet again we've had a very busy day and done so much as if we're perfectly fine] Janis: [picking him back up and steadying him like you okay boy? and nudging his drink towards his lips like that'll help] Jimmy: [down that drink boy] Janis: [just lowkey having a feel of his stomach/ribs etc like you gotta check] Jimmy: [😏 cos we're pretending she's doing it to flirt with us obvs like she just can't keep her hands to herself ever which is true but also shh sir] Janis: [going with it 'cos not not true and we know it makes him awks but we still wanna] Jimmy: [kissing her because we always just want to] Janis: [have this makeout sesh whilst giving him a massage casually] Jimmy: [excuse us people in this pub] Janis: [looks dodgier than it is frankly] Jimmy: [love how shameless you both are and how often you just behave like you're the only two people around] Janis: [we're so unbothered by other people unless they're really in our faces about it] Jimmy: [mhmm hence we're just saying we missed her and how much in between kisses because we have and we're obvs so into everything she's doing rn] Janis: ['did you?' 'cos 'course we don't believe him/it] Jimmy: [stop kissing her for long enough you can hold that eye contact so she knows you mean it but then kiss her more intensely obvs] Janis: [going in even harder 'cos definition of !!! about it] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's deserved and needed and it'll shut him up from saying any more for a sec] Janis: [saying nothing in this pub but people should do something/be staring or say something so we can move huuuuuuuun] Jimmy: [that's realistic so yes] Janis: [we going about this town] Jimmy: [twirl her like you would've done when you were at this kid's party earlier please boy] Janis: [dance down these streets but don't fall tah] Jimmy: [and don't knock into anyone either because we don't need that drama] Janis: [no fighting shakira shakira] Jimmy: [not tonight thank you] Janis: [we gotta get drunk and spill secrets] Jimmy: [confess as many feelings as we dare] Janis: [heheheh, getting shots in that vein] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: 🥃🥃🥃 Jimmy: 🥳🥳🥳 Janis: partying for 2 Jimmy: remind me to @ Asia 7 years from now to let her know how to throw a 🎁🎂🎈 that ain't all 💅💄 Janis: you ain't bad at face painting Janis: can have that Jimmy: tah very much Jimmy: be alright as long as Libi don't have me doing it whenever I see her Jimmy: be a bit weird if I have to carry a full face painting kit about Janis: you don't need to be that whipped Janis: won't hurt her to hear a nah every once and a while Jimmy: no need to be jealous, Jules Jimmy: you're still my muse Janis: piss off Jimmy: I'll 🥺🥺 for 2 if you make me Janis: go ahead Jimmy: [does] Janis: [regret 'cos we feeling all the things now] Jimmy: [carve that JJ love heart into the pub table like see you're my muse and ILY] Janis: [just tracing our finger round and round this heart] Jimmy: [literally is about to draw a heart on her and I'm like boy stop] Janis: ['your ex really cheat on you?' like why would he lie, but can't believe it] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' because genuinely not something he expected her to ask rn] Janis: [a shrug like soz 'just what I was thinking about'] Jimmy: [a nudge but a gentle one 'what you thinking about her for?' sir she's thinking about you] Janis: [tuts like ugh, making me explain myself, how rude lol 'are you a shit real boyfriend or what?' like why would she if you were how you're faking now] Jimmy: [a shrug like 1. probably because the messy time after his mum disappeared 2. they were young af and neither of them had good role models clearly but we don't wanna really get into either of those things 'depends on the scale' like compared to who hun because lbr not an Ian or Mia's dad but we weren't #goals] Janis: [nods like we get it 'cos we do even though not personally like that might suggest, the shakes her head like let's move on 'cos accidentally brought the vibe down and we didn't mean to 'whatever, none of my business'] Jimmy: [leaves the ex's @ in this chat whatever it is like @ her for her POV if you like but irl we're shrugging again because we're so over her just not the mum mems of that era] Janis: 🤐 Janis: [dranking this drank faster] Jimmy: [nudges her like hey it's alright] Jimmy: *🔊 Janis: [😏 'not there yet' like let's go back to bants] Jimmy: where are you then? Janis: 🥺 of course Janis: you're quite inspiring too Jimmy: show me Janis: [😳 and can't do it back 'cos now we've got the giggles like stop it] Janis: can't just 👏 like Jimmy: [we're just 😍 af because she's adorable bye] Jimmy: alright, if there's no 👏 have to take back that 🌹 and your 🏆s Jimmy: go together them Janis: well now I'm 😠 Janis: [does that instead] Jimmy: [does a 📷 mime and then wordlessly goes to get her some kind of forfeit drink for not being oscar worthy af] Janis: [doing it now he's further away 'cos easier] Jimmy: you're rude, said it earlier Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: [points] Jimmy: [signs it which I lowkey do think is just a point but anyway] Janis: 👆 Janis: the point emojis are crap Jimmy: 💔 Janis: looks more come here Janis: which don't not work rn but Jimmy: but do come here Janis: [making our way over, of course] Jimmy: [checking her out as she does obvs and when she does get there gesturing like get this barman's attention please because it's busy but she's a hot girl so she'll have more luck] Janis: [do the least to do the most such is your privilege babe] Jimmy: [kiss her like thank you because we weren't trying to stand there all night] Janis: [the barman like aw lmao] Jimmy: #👻problems Janis: #🍆problems Jimmy: fuming if it's a not a lass serving next Janis: fuming if it is, obvs Jimmy: if you're 😠 again, I'll be back at chuffed to bits Jimmy: so cute Janis: [fake punches him] Jimmy: [writes hate across her knuckles because I am not letting you write love boy stop it] Janis: [takes off the e by pretending to cut off the pinky] Jimmy: [😏 and draws the 🎩 on the back of her hand for that irish af vibe] Janis: [writes 'pot' on the other hand like there you go, pot of gold too] Jimmy: [draw a 🌈 on that one and 💰] Janis: [lols like lovely 'told you you had a future in it'] Jimmy: [just shaking his head because we can't take a compliment] Jimmy: you gonna name this 👶 something I can't pronounce or what? Janis: [raising our brows sassily like not hard] Janis: you can name it Janis: guilt trip move Jimmy: 🤔🤔💭 Jimmy: What's Mia's daddy's name? Jimmy: got a lie to sell here Janis: 🤔 Janis: maybe Michael or something, idk Janis: Miles Jimmy: Miley he'll love that Janis: meet your new sister Mia Jimmy: sister and step mum Janis: not even weird for me Jimmy: Libi must've missed that bit when she were doing the family tree Janis: thank fuck Janis: only so much you need to hear Jimmy: what were it you said about my ages old 💔? Jimmy: nowt to do with me, that Janis: nor me Jimmy: I told you before, up to you what you wanna 🗨 Janis: you pick Jimmy: your full list's all I want Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [one back always] Jimmy: you owe me the one Janis: true Janis: remind me what I've said Jimmy: 1. 🚬👃 2. 🎤🗨 3. 💋 4. 🖕✌️🤟 is a might be, you never said it were or weren't for definite 5. 🤝 6. 💫 dunno what else to do for freckles so Janis: [impressed he remembered 'cos obviously did not just look through like my boo just had to lol] Janis: don't wanna repeat, wouldn't be fair Jimmy: [when it's really important to you because you literally told her in that convo that nobody has ever been this nice to you and it's obvs true] Jimmy: so go on Janis: it's unfair you took 👀s Janis: when yours are like ☀️ Janis: but I like your brows too Jimmy: you're ☀ Jimmy: and you know I'm fuming you took 💋 an' all Jimmy: but we've both got smell on there so I'm not gonna stop you rating what you rate Janis: take it as a whole Janis: you have pretty lashes too Janis: it's Jimmy: that'll get out of hand when I just say your entire face Jimmy: or your whole body Janis: everything about you Jimmy: that an' all Janis: [and I oop, just like our drink looks so interesting rn because dying] Jimmy: [a soft 'hey' because of course like 👀 at me] Janis: [you gotta look up gal 'yeah?' also soft] Jimmy: [gestures at her to come here like you literally didn't just get kicked out of a pub for this] Janis: [do though who are we] Jimmy: [we're softly but insistently kissing the bae's throat like we can coax words out cos so much we wanna say and so much we wanna hear] Janis: [the noise we are making, running our hands through his hair goes to gripping it 'you're not-' 'I'm supposed-' can we finish a sentence? no] Jimmy: [just doing it again like do you wanna finish a sentence gal and not at all because of her other reaction of course not] Janis: ['stop it' but in the most don't stop tone imaginable 'cos at least that's a sentence] Jimmy: [we're not but we are smooching the side of her neck instead] Janis: ['coming for my gig again' and moving to the side so you've gotta smooch for reals] Jimmy: [have a lil make out lads] Janis: [again lollol] Jimmy: [can't and won't be tamed, we're doing what we want tonight] Janis: [speaking of, you should get some good scran, idk what but I'm sure there's some bomb takeout vibes] Jimmy: [definitely, I doubt there was much savoury food at that party] Janis: [you can walk n eat n mayhaps talk hmm] Jimmy: [and snuggle because it's probably cold] Janis: [even if it's stopped snowing, deffo] Jimmy: [obvs just nudging her as you go along like you alright? because this boy loves checking in] Janis: [nudges him back like aren't you?] Jimmy: [smiling because we're having a lovely time] Janis: [😍 'good'] Jimmy: [😍 and doing the handhold swingy thing as we walk] Janis: ['you're alright, you know, not boring' just sounds like you thought he was but we mean in comparison to other peeps] Jimmy: ['when did you reckon I were boring? but we're amused 'bit rude'] Janis: [a face like oi but also amused 'no, I just didn't know you weren't before'] Jimmy: ['I knew you weren't' which makes you sound like a stalker or something lol but we're too drunk to think that through clearly] Janis: ['no you didn't' not just to be contrary we're just like lies lmao] Jimmy: [his own oi face 'wouldn't have picked you if I didn't' because true] Janis: [just narrowing our eyes like suspish but okay 'well I knew you didn't chat shit constantly, or try hard like most lads do' shrugs like bitch I noticed you too] Jimmy: [🤐 mime like well yeah I don't say anything and shrugging back 'no need' because he doesn't feel like he has anything to brag about genuinely and obvs we don't have any reason to try hard for the people we don't care about] Janis: [just gesturing like yes, my point exactly 'don't stop 'em, does it'] Jimmy: [gets out the phone we've literally not looked at all night, frowns at it and puts it back without actually bothering to do anything except make a point 'the lasses either, but that's not the kind of dickheads we are'] Janis: [shakes her head like no we are not and puts her hand out for him to shake] Jimmy: [does and then does pull her in for a hug because always 'chuffed it were you' from within this hug] Janis: ['we've done a good job' also from within the hug] Jimmy: [shaking his head because we don't wanna call it a job when literally you always do sir and also that now looks like you don't think this is going well] Janis: [looking at him when you pull back like ? because how it looks] Jimmy: ['not just a shift I'm putting in, you'] Janis: ['I dunno why I had a go about that' just like how cringe of me to show I gave a shit ugh] Jimmy: ['don't you?' and a shrug 'alright then' like oh are we just pretending we don't give a shit tonight okay cos we're sassy] Janis: [little lol 'don't take the piss' 'you know what I mean. meant. whatever'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like me that' 😏 because she literally said he's not a dickhead but he takes the piss] Janis: [getting SO close and making him stop walking so you can whisper in his ear 'it sounds exactly like you' and nipping his earlobe when you say 'sounds'] Jimmy: [saying 'fuck' with SO much feeling how they do] Janis: [nods like that's what I want to and looks around like we picked the wrong location lol] Jimmy: [looks in the direction they'd have to go to retrace their steps like if you wanna go we can go because Ian's stash forever] Janis: [follows his gaze like we could but eventually shakes her head 'we've got time, more places you need to see first if you wanna be a proper tourist'] Jimmy: [nods because 🥇 or nowt is the mantra but we're kissing her really hard first so she knows we're not just chill and we feel the tension and want the same things] Janis: [have your moment and take one before the next location] Jimmy: [for once I doubt you're the only peeps being extra at least such are the joys of town] Janis: [people always cracking on you're fine, even if you cared, which we are far beyond] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [full drunk by now, never mind all our feels] Jimmy: [they should go somewhere they can do some grooving because not something they've done a lot of because of her ankle happening] Janis: [good thinking boo, hit the clerb, whole different vibe] Jimmy: [how cinematic when juxtaposed against the dancing at the kids party earlier lol] Janis: [day and night honey] Jimmy: [another good excuse for more shots because you can't dance and hold a big drink] Janis: [ooh, maybe Harry could be there Janis: we can just see and ignore him but intro that 'cos haven't yey] Jimmy: [I just nearly gasped because yes we do need to do that before all the sports stuff starts and she runs into him in a way she can't swerve] Janis: [it seems legit you could be out with your mates boy, you could be a bit older/look it too, it's believable you ain't the gals, maybe if she's getting drinks or Jimmy is he can come up but it'll look like just another random tryna hit her up] Jimmy: [that seems legit to me too] Janis: [but obviously it'd put her in some type of mood] Jimmy: [might also open a line of dialogue though so] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [what way round do you wanna do it because obvs if he goes to get drinks and comes back to find them talking or whatever he'll be like bitch excuse me but if she was getting drinks and runs into him that way he won't even see Harry/know about that interaction] Janis: [maybe he goes to get them, it makes it easier, even if Harry literally walks away as he comes back 'cos that kind of snekk, he'd still see but they always getting hit on so he wouldn't assume that was responsible and be like oh I get it, yknow] Jimmy: [he'll just be like 🤨 looking him over as Harry walks away  but yeah not concerned and more jokey because it does happen always and he knows she can handle it] Janis: [just 😒 watching him go] Jimmy: [handing her these shots because we just think like we said he's a stranger and she'll be over it in a sec] Janis: [down it with vigour hun] Jimmy: [likewise because that's just how shots are, you gotta go in] Janis: [ick] Jimmy: [have never enjoyed a single one I've ever had but they are not J potato] Janis: [who is babe, go get your groove on aggressively] Jimmy: [hope it's not a slow jam and I especially hope Harry is not also hitting the dancefloor with some gal] Janis: [oh lawd, we're not doing that cliche of catching eyes dancing with other people boy, I think not] Jimmy: [you think you're that important Harold but you're honestly not] Janis: [accidentally making him think you're that into him, nah] Jimmy: [but anyway I shall start a convo when we've been dancing for an age and you're clearly still 😒 hun] Jimmy: What? Janis: what do you mean what? Jimmy: what's wrong? Janis: what do you reckon makes clubs smell so bad Janis: apart from all the sweat, that's obvious Jimmy: answer me, dickhead Janis: I'm alright, seriously Jimmy: bollocks Janis: ugh Janis: it's nothing though Jimmy: *something Jimmy: you wanna go outside? Janis: [mimes 🚬] Janis: sure Jimmy: [taking her hand like let's go] Janis: [smoking area moment, not like you'll be alone they're always packed] Jimmy: [lighting you both up and giving her a sec] Janis: ['just know that lad' shrugging like that explains that] Jimmy: ['and what?' because we're not letting it just drop] Janis: [after a while thinking and stopping and starting 'and- everyone else is a dickhead, yeah'] Jimmy: how much of a dickhead is he? Janis: no more than average, I suppose Janis: 💪🍆🔥👑 Janis: you know the sort Jimmy: yeah, what I dunno is why you're so bothered Janis: just didn't fancy seeing anyone I knew out Jimmy: you barely did do Janis: then let's go somewhere else after this Janis: forget about it Janis: [smiling at him like it's not fake but we're forcing this vibe rn] Jimmy: can you? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry Janis: he's just some twat Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's alright Janis: its not Janis: we're having a nice time Janis: meant to be Jimmy: I meant, he's doing your head in, you're not doing in mine Jimmy: we're alright Jimmy: nice is a bit rude though, as descriptions go Janis: [a LOOK up like 😏] Janis: how'd you describe it then Jimmy: not like we're sat in having a ☕🍪 with our kid and his missus Jimmy: but if you need a review then Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: that'd be it Janis: are you saying that's the definition of nice or a better time Janis: either way I have some questions Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: it's obvs the definition of nice 👵👴💕 Janis: [shakes head as we get up like oh you 'leave you to it then'] Jimmy: [not letting you go gal putting his arms around her like no no 'Oi, I just gave you a top review, what more do you want?'] Janis: ['can always do better' and taking his hand like let's go, stay outta our way Hazza we got places to be] Jimmy: ['than you rating me boring and nice, yeah' but we're amused of course and doing another twirl as we go] Janis: ['I did not!' and a pouty face like how dare YOU suggest I did] Jimmy: [thank god we can do the pouty lip thing this time and nothing can stop us] Janis: [freedom] Jimmy: [You're welcome lads] Janis: [y'all can do what you want like going to the toilets and living that cliche moment] Jimmy: [not the first time, we all remember pub crawl, but it would be busier so pluses and minuses to that] Janis: [we gotta for a myriad of reasons still not about you though Harry but you've put us in a mood to prove some things so tah] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [get out of this clerb and into a different one, better or worse, idk what's more fun tbh] Jimmy: [again it's not about you Harold] Janis: [soz we have such a dramatic reaction to seeing you lmao like hell to the no] Jimmy: [it's deserved you're not a good egg] Janis: [we'd be more chill if we weren't drunk, like he's just gonna come over and ruin everything, he might try tbf, run lads and continue grooving] Jimmy: [we're on a touristy tour here sir gotta move along] Janis: [you are not invited good day, back on the shots shots shots] Jimmy: [don't at all look forward to seeing you soon hun] Janis: [at least we're not doing the grace of it all now, although, continuously triggering everyone 'cos that's what they think Liam did with Edie to be around Rio, which yeah at first but shh] Jimmy: [the temptation to do that again now you've said that lol] Janis: [yeah, it came to me as I typed it lol] Jimmy: [fuck it let's do it, we can totally make him her baby daddy for that hot sec to really trigger everyone haha] Janis: [no offence to your barrenness but THANK GOD don't actually need babies from lies] Jimmy: [I can't do that to you gal even if we could] Janis: [would not be cute, he'd be tryna pay for your abortion like] Jimmy: [it's so far from #goals as is nobody needs that] Janis: [it's even worse than drew and caleb soz my love but no, hence ali had to be like no no in that convo we did when we did it before] Jimmy: [but what if that's when she gets her nose ring because it's like a Cameron trying to get Nicki to wear Chloe's lipstick situation!] Janis: [🤢 OMG, you can use all the really tryhard stuff of late, like, we know you would babe] Jimmy: [Sammi's moment of trying to be black will actually be useful to me, who knew] Janis: [just thinking about the wurls wig and dying 'cos it looked so bad oh gal] Jimmy: [HARD SAME] Janis: [and I oop, we're gonna lose our mind with you] Jimmy: [the drama] Janis: [oh lord] Jimmy: [anyways back to this, do you wanna do a skip or have you got things you wanna have happen rn off the back of this Harry situation?] Janis: [we can probably skip to going home even? we know how the nights gonna go and it'll be fun and feelsy but that's the STAY of it all] Jimmy: [true I just didn't wanna rush you gal if you had stuff you wanted to say or do before that so] Janis: [nah we good I just wanted to establish him so when he crops back up later we've got this vague memory like oh] Jimmy: [it was a good way to do it boo, good thinking] Janis: [big brain booty] Janis: [where would you like to hook up/where are you then gonna try to leave from] Jimmy: [do you wanna be at his gaff or are you thinking before they get there?] Janis: [his makes sense for going to mcvickers after] Jimmy: [be having a nightcap and all the sauciness that entails but then try and leave gal] Janis: [like gotta go before anyone wakes, sure you're being well loud tbh lads but okay] Jimmy: [as excuses go a very legit one and also the bubs do wake up well early like what time even is it] Janis: [but also who cares you've been on a minibreak together] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [baby its cold outside Jimmy: [what's your vibe like is she gonna say anything or is she just casually getting ready to leave?] Janis: [I think just getting ready when she thinks he's passed out but we're drunk so we're clearly not making a good go of doing it stealth here lol] Jimmy: [obvs gonna chuck something at her then like excuse you] Janis: [#shooketh and thus doing angry whispers 'what was that for dickhead?!'] Jimmy: ['where you going?' as if that's not obvious because we're drunk so it's not] Janis: [dramatically shushing him which in itself is louder than you're being already probs 'trying not to wake anybody up here'] Jimmy: [a sarcastic but amused 👍 because that's going well and then repeating our question] Janis: [throwing whatever he threw at us back like don't be fucking rude 'home' which you gotta stop saying when you mean mcvickers 'cos sounds like you planning to trek] Jimmy: [catching it and being really proud of ourselves with our expression but then frowning because we do think she means she's going home 'you're not, there's no buses for ages' because again what weird am is this lol] Janis: [😏 and a sassy fake clap for him 'Oh, I mean my nans' like my bad 'before he's getting up for work or...whatever'] Jimmy: [dramatically shushing her for the clap like she did to him a sec ago 'it's the weekend' because it is 'only dickheads like us do Sundays'] Janis: ['oh' when you genuinely forgot but now it seems like you lyin' lmao] Jimmy: [when you get up v dramatically to be up in her grill like 👀 cos are you lying gal but when we're standing there we just get distracted by like moving her hair out of her face and fixing her clothes and generally being soft and close and helpful] Janis: ['you-' and then getting distracted by his lack of clothing for a sec like oh '-you don't have to be nice, you know'] Jimmy: ['stop calling me nice, dickhead' but softer than the words suggest and not just because we are this close and whispering] Janis: ['stop being nice then' in a challenge type of way] Jimmy: [push her back onto this bed boy but in a hot way not a dangerous one] Janis: [definition of that 😈 tbh] Jimmy: [whatever she's managed to put on he's taking off, RIP to this dress or whatever if you don't survive] Janis: [running our fingers through his hair again for the throwback to earlier 'you're SO nice, baby'] Jimmy: [giving her a massive lovebite near to wherever he did that first one way earlier and going as hard for that throwback as well because we're 😈 ] Janis: [when you're egging him on telling him how nice he is over and over but then you do the biggest gasp] Jimmy: [going over the OG one as well because it's right there tempting us 'I'll do whatever you want for as long as you're here, nice, not nice, owt else' like don't go gal] Janis: [just about getting out 'but what do you want?'] Jimmy: ['you' because true and we're drunk so we can answer a question 'I keep saying I don't want you to go anywhere' because he literally said it on the school trip in those words when they were doing an activity and having a little domestic and god knows how many times we've either said it or tried to make it clear since] Janis: ['me...' which we ALMOST phrase as a question, such is our disbelief/how much we've been caught off guard by that despite how obvious it is to us all but it's okay catch up gal 'and I keep saying you can have me' because we have and we mean it] Jimmy: ['you say it but then you- look and gesture towards the door like you were literally trying to leave and you know we're thinking about when she properly left] Janis: ['I never wanna stay if you want me to leave' a pause like I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense now you've said that but 'because I wanna be with you a lot...like all the fucking time and-'] Jimmy: ['I don't want either of us to leave' the tea and also how sad and soft his voice would be about that because we think it's looming over us 'if I had any fucking choice, I'd pick this, just give me the same back'] Janis: [kissing him hard, but not JUST kissing him like we usually would when we can't say what we want/don't know what to say 'okay' just as sad but serious like this ain't no game 'I'm scared but okay'] Jimmy: [holding her but not JUST how he would when he doesn't want her to go 'it's alright, when you're about, I'm not' like you can be scared gal cos I feel safe with you and it's the only time I ever do so I've got this] Janis: ['that's why I am' from deep inside this hug like we barely saying it but we are] Jimmy: ['bit of pressure, I get it' because we know we're saying there that everything else is shit and you're the only good thing keeping us going and that's a lot] Janis: [shaking our head 'I mean-' big sigh 'cos even if we're drunk it's a lot to say '-the more amazing it is now, the more there's going to be to miss'] Jimmy: ['there were loads to miss ages ago' because lbr the moment you started this you were in too deep and deeper than you've been with anyone else 'it weren't like owt else I've felt kissing any other lass soon as we had that first go at it' drunkenly spilling that tea] Janis: ['Ive never felt anything before' 'cos likewise] Jimmy: ['alright, no need to one up me that hard' cos you don't believe that's even possible lowkey when she clearly feels so much with you] Janis: [soft nudge 'I can't help the truth'] Jimmy: [one back obvs 'as competitions go, not fuming to lose this one'] Janis: ['I have kissed other people' like don't think he thought you were saying that but okay] Jimmy: [a sound like yeah obvs/no shit because we weren't thinking that 'but they were shitter at it than whatever review of me you're gonna @ my ex for, I get it' because not letting go that she brought that up but we're not mad about it still just amused] Janis: ['must be' shrugs 'knock to the ego can't hurt' not gonna go drunk text him the shade though tah 'was not, I was just asking a question' like stop it but we're not mad really] Jimmy: ['I don't care about how them dickheads feel, her included, just you'] Janis: [smile 'I can get behind that'] Jimmy: [smile back 😍] Janis: ['you're the cutest person I've ever seen' and putting our fingers in his dimples like oop] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we can't help even as we shake our head because no gal you are 'need to look in the mirror more, you'] Jimmy: [lowkey trying to drag her to where the nearest mirror is like is that even this room or are you trying to go to the bathroom? boy shh] Janis: [don't actually wake this bub you're lowkey too drunk to deal with him boy, 'cos we're so amused and playfighting him as silently as we can like noooo 'you you you'] Jimmy: [thank god we made him deaf because Libi would 1000% be awake by now lol, just drunkenly taking so many pictures of her face and so many weird close ups as we playfight and showing her them all like no look it's you] Janis: [just a fight to delete them as if 1. you look bad in any really 2. he's just gonna post them all rn] Jimmy: [we know you just wanna fight so he can pin you again for that saucy throwback] Janis: [obvs, we do not need to deny] Jimmy: [we'll let you have that moment and ensuing hook up during which you can call her baby in a way that is not at all a pisstake for the first time because we're drunk and feelsy enough for this] Janis: [just die bye, safe to say you won't be trying to go anywhere after that] Jimmy: [you gotta snuggle and snooze and be happy]

[zombiiesque]

Nocturne Alchemy Seth's Dinosaur Collection - PART ONE

Originally published on 6/27/2017

Hello, everyone! I've been wanting to write some reviews for a while now, but we moved, and then I promptly came down with a really bad case of bronchitis, that did not seem to want to go away. I ended up with two different antibiotics and almost went to the hospital at one point, but it's mostly dissipated finally. Well, then I had to put my house together and get everything situated here, and I'm sure anyone that has moved understands how much effort that takes. I haven't moved in over four years, and I felt really bad about not getting my house organized! And here I am, going on and on. Anyway, I had intentions of reviewing Seth's Dinosaur Collection for quite a while, but I think it's particularly relevant now. Nocturne Alchemy is reopening in 4 days, on June 30th! *squeeing and flailing* I'm so excited to see the site redesign. Also, they've been working on new label art, and from what I understand, they'll be adding new scents to the various Permanent Collections. So much fun. I'm sure it's going to be beautiful. If you'd like to keep up with them in the meantime, they have been posting fun things on their Facebook Business page, including a sneak peek video of the new logo, which is absolutely elegant.

Well, I started this last night, and ended up having things to do that needed my immediate intention - so I had to put it down and come back to it in the morning! It seems like that's the way things have been going lately, so now this review is even more timely. Before I delve into it, I want to make mention that I had an email conversation with the NA crew, because I wanted to address some of the rumors I'd seen going around since they'd been closed. I saw that folks were concerned that they wouldn't be reopening, because they've been gone so long, and I also saw that many were worried that the catalogue as it was known might not be returning, so I wrote to see if they'd give me something to share with people - and they did! Such lovely, kindhearted people, and that is the reason I am such a huge "fangirl". I mean, don't get me wrong - they make the most exquisite perfume oils, and of course that drew me in, but once I began to see how much heart they pour into their company, and how much they care about their customers, that really made me fall head over heels. Honestly, in the world of indie perfumes, NA is a pretty good sized company. They've been making perfumes for 10 years now - actually, as it's June, they're into their 11th year, and they have a pretty extensive catalogue! So in their own words, I'll use a direct quote here from Nocturne Alchemy.

NA will return June 30th. We asked our customers last year what they thought of the old NA site. Constructive criticism concluded that it was dated. The truth is, we knew this and had been looking for the right host site for the past two years. We knew it would take time to migrate and create a new site but we'd have to be 100% involved and the focus of a new site would mean we'd have to shut down the old site. In the process, we decided to recreate the art for the labels of the Permanent Collection (we call it the PC because we view perfume as you would at an art gallery, where there is a Permanent Collection and a Limited Collection or the temporary exhibit if you will). In the past six months we've taken some much needed time off after a decade of perfume making, perfume soul-searching, travel for more unique perfume, and also back in the Studio for months now working on new PC, new art for new labels and a new look for NA. It took two years prior to opening NA in 2006 creating a small collection of PC and Limited perfumes, designing labels, the site...the fact that we can do this in six months, means we are at the top of our game. We know what we want to create but you can't rush art. NA will return June 30th. Find us on Facebook to stay up with current information. The PC and Studio Limited will return, as well as the beloved VApothecary line that has been rebranded under Nocturne Alchemy to facilitate cohesiveness at the new site.

So, there you have it! In addition to completely redesigning the site from the ground up, including a different type of "shopping cart", they've been working on all kinds of wonderful things. I am not sure I will even know where to start on Friday! I'm certainly looking forward to digging through the new site - bad pun intended? And now, I have to apologize. As I said, I'd meant to get this posted a few weeks ago, but life sort of threw me under the bus, and I just couldn't give it the proper time it deserved, as the Dinosaur collection, and the eNVie review, both deserve a bit more depth than just reviewing a single perfume. I'll be working on the latter today, to get it posted up hopefully by tomorrow.

So, roughly two summers ago, Nocturne Alchemy released the original Dinosaur collection, which was Seth's baby, as his other passion, from his early childhood, was dinosaurs, and he wanted to do a collection with that theme. I must tell you, it's been one of my very favorite collections, and I'm only missing a few of them. Last summer, they released a Resurgence, and added some new perfumes to the collection. It's alternatively been called the Prehistoric collection, but the name "Seth's Dinosaurs" has kind of become the popular name among the fans, and often gets shortened to "the Dinos". A little note about this collection: "These dinosaur perfumes are created with the beauty of resin in mind for each of them. The concept to this perfume, the label and the respect of the dinosaur is built on imagination. If you look at the label, there is an egg to the left. It is the same color as the Dinosaur. Apply the perfume on wrist and inner elbow and allow the scent to bind with your chemistry. Once this has occurred, inhale. This conceptually, is the egg. To allow the dinosaur to hatch, we wanted you to go to your Studio Limited Library and pull as many as you want, especially your favorites. The magic in layering the dino's with your Studio Limited Library will give your library a new NAVAlchemy aspect of layering and creating your own personal Dino scent. The fun in NAVAlchemy and hatching the dino eggs is all up to you!" - note from Seth. So, I've seen a few comments floating around the internet that say these oils seem to be rather linear, or flat - and I hope that people will read this, because if they don't realize that these were created specifically to be layered, then they'll miss the beauty of these. I do like them on their own, but I find that when they are layered with other perfumes, the beauty and versatility really shines through. I was never adventurous about layering until I was introduced to these beauties, and they really taught me to branch out, because the possibilities are quite endless. What's interesting is that a lot of the SL (Studio Line) is also fantastic for layering, so I'll make some suggestions for these together for you to try. I believe, from the hints that they've been dropping on the Facebook page, that we'll once again be graced with new Dinos this summer. I don't know if it will be happening with the grand reopening, or at some later time in the summer, but it seems that we'll be getting new Dinosaurs to play with! I cannot wait.

So, let's get started! I'll go with the first round of Dinosaurs that I have, and then the second round will be in a separate post. All of the Dinosaurs also make this mention: "*tiny bits of resin may occur in the Dino blends, these will only enrich the blend even more with aging!"

Cryolophosaurus: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, Aged Organic Studio created Patchouli, Black Patchouli, SL Crimson and only a drop of fine aged Egyptian White peppercorn eo. So, this was my first love of the Dinosaurs. I was pretty new to NAVA at the time the first collection came out, so I was still trying everything via decants before I sprung for full bottles, because I hadn't learned what worked on me and what didn't yet. I think I ordered decants of everything but Spinosaurus, because I had learned at that point that black honey and I don't get on. Still salty about that! Anyway. The decants arrived, and I tried them all out - and fell madly in love with Cryolophosaurus, and promptly ordered a full bottle. It's....what are words! I feel as though I'm going to be repeating myself here with this collection, but I'll do my best for y'all. The patchoulis in this blend are bright and sort of herbal, almost minty? I don't know if that's a proper patchouli trait, but as a bit of a hippie, I've been a lifelong fan of patchouli (thanks, mom!) and was exposed to the dark and dirty hippie type patchouli early on in life. This was the first time I was exposed to patchouli as a more herbal note, and I was absolutely blown away. I often find NAVA ambers to have a "fresh" sort of quality, and the two ambers used in the Dinosaur collection definitely seem to have that, so it keeps any of these blends from being overly dark. There's definitely a depth and a sort of stoney feel to each one of these, but as I've mentioned, that seems to come out more once you layer them with another perfume, and Cryolophosaurus is no exception. I can wear this happily alone, it's quite different than say Hessonite, which can be a little overwhelming if you're new to patchouli, the ambers lift this up and seem to give the patchoulis a different nuance. You don't get the red musk (Crimson) or pepper aspect very much until you wear this one layered, but those aspects come out and shine once you pair this with another oil. Also, this oil is red! As I've had my bottle for 2 years, there's definitely some resinous bits forming now, but I couldn't seem to capture a picture of it.

I could rave and rave about this one. Goals: If they bring this back as a Resurrection again this year, GET A BACKUP BOTTLE. Hah!

TL;DR A fresh, sort of bright, herbal patchouli. The nuances of the ambers, red musk, and pepper come out to play when you layer this, but you probably won't notice them while wearing it solo.

Layering suggestions: Try this with Kashmir, Crystalline, Amethyst, Santalum, Crystal, White Ambre Ombre. If you have Labyrinth Oudh, this pairs beautifully with that. If you are a patchouli fiend, you might try hatching it with Patchouli Ombre or Hessonite. I like it with Sekhmet Amber and Black Raven, also.

Diplodocus: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, a drop of Cacao, Boswellia carterii Frankincense from United Arab Emirates and a drop of steam distilled Oman Frankincense tears we picked from the actual Frankincense tree.

Believe it or not, although I tried all of my decants the summer that the Dinosaur Collection came out, I did not really pursue full bottles of any except Cryolophosaurus. When I heard that the collection was to be resurrected last summer, I decided I needed to try my decants again, and came to the conclusion that I would have to acquire full sizes of all the originals that I had decants of - oh boy! And then there were new ones joining them. I was in trouble. So, I was trying to decide which of these I absolutely had to have, and at first, I had decided since I had Holiday Egyptian Frankincense, I probably didn't need Diplodocus. Well, I fell pretty hard for HEF last summer and found myself layering it with everything, and before I knew it, I had gone through a half a bottle. Panic set in, and I decided I was probably going to need an alternative frankincense, as it was a note I was falling more and more in love with. Diplodocus became a must have, and I am glad I was able to sneak it in my last order before the collection came down. As a stand alone perfume, this is pretty much a linear frankincense - albeit a lovely one. Beautifully woody, you could wear this alone if you were in the mood to wear a sort of single note frankincense, but this lends a wonderful aspect with so many perfumes, I prefer to layer it. Once I layer it with another perfume, the bright, resinous, stony amber comes out to play with the woodiness of the frankincense, and it's heavenly. The cacao is not a starring note, I can find it with my nose only if I keep sniffing, but it plays a lovely supporting role.

TL;DR A perfect frankincense layering note, it does well with adding a sort of grounding to perfumes that might ordinarily be too bright or feminine for my particular tastes, and is lovely paired with the SLs as well to create a duality.

Layering suggestions: Kobalt Dark, Santal Ombre, Egyptian Musk, Crystal, Diamond, or even to add a tad more frankincense to Ember. I've also paired this and love it with Gabriel, Eternal Egypt, and Ozymandias. I love it with several LC perfumes as well; Black Velvet, Black Crystalline Black Fig, Vamp, Anticipation, Blue Lotus, Snow Amber.

Pteranodon: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, a drop of Cacao, Pure Sandalwood left to age in the perfume, Santalum Gold, Santalum and a drop of Blue Santalum.

GODS. Gods. This was the one that made me sit up and take notice, why had I missed out on ordering a full bottle, and I need to rectify this immediately! All of the Dinosaurs are fantastic, versatile little workhorses when playing with layering, but Pteranodon became a quick favorite of mine, and dare I say? Yes, I dare, it became my favorite sandalwood thus far. Don't get me wrong, you'll be prying my gloriously aged bottle of SL Santalum out of my cold, dead hands, I absolutely adore Santalum White, especially when spring and summer roll around, but really I can see using it all year...but this, this is special. Samantha tells me that's because it has the most precious of precious, Santalum Gold. Since she sent me a little sample of her precious bottle, I can understand the obsession - there's something pretty amazing about Santalum Gold. It's a little more woody and resinous, more fully sandalwood than the new version Santalum. I love mine, don't get me wrong, but I can see why Santalum Gold is so popular that if one pops up in the secondary market, it is gone within minutes. Ah well, one day I will be quick enough! Until then - Pteranodon. Yes, I can and have worn this alone, and I absolutely adore it. I like it in my hair, it's one of my favorite layering components when I pair it with something and add a few drops of unscented hair oil and run my fingers through my hair. Hnnnnggg. It's hauntingly familiar, it reminds me of when I lived briefly in Minneapolis in the early nineties and I hung out in the head shops and the kitschy little knicknack shops of uptown and the fantastic thrift stores....ahhhh the nineties, it brings me a feeling of nostalgia, for that's when I discovered how glorious sandalwood was. Oddly enough, my mother is a darker creature, and I don't remember her wearing sandalwood during her hippie days, mostly patchouli and musk and especially dragon's blood. She was missing out, I tell you. This. This really evokes some strong emotions in me. So, once layered, again the ambers come out to play, and the cacao is there as a supporting note, but the star is the variety of sandalwoods. You really get a sense of the four once this is layered. I don't know what to say other than IF THIS COMES BACK AND YOU DON'T HAVE IT YOU'D BETTER GET ONE. I'll be picking up a backup. I might not be able to get my hands on Santalum Gold, but this will do.

TL;DR HNNNGGGG GORGEOUS INCREDIBLE SANDALWOOD.

Layering suggestions: Gods, it goes with everything. Seriously. One of my favorite things is to hatch this with a combination of Diamond, Crystalline, and Tibetan Crystalline. Alternately, I'll do Bloodstone, Egyptian Musk, and this (maybe some Amethyst too). It's fantastic with Ember Vanilla or from the LC, Phantasm Kiss. I love it with Egyptian Temple Oudh. Umm, Eternal Egypt, Bastet Amber, Raphael, Black Raven. Ambre Ombre, or even Santal Ombre. I love it with the OPs, Baba, Tawaret, Pakhet, Hathor. I've got a smidgen of my sample of Egyptian Peach Blossom left and it's lovely with that. Polichenelle. Cecilia, Adele, Music, Snow Amber, Patchouli Ombre. There hasn't been a layering combination with this one I haven't loved, so be adventurous. If a perfume seems a bit too sweet or floral, this makes a nice "grounding" effect. Just do yourself a favor and nab this if it comes back!

Tyrannosaurus: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, a drop of Cacao, Dracaena Draco of Morocco (Dragon's Blood resin) and Sangre de Grado Dragon's Blood.

One of the things I don't think I've talked about a lot is exactly how much I love NAVA's dragon's blood. I seem to like dark, red, resinous things quite a bit, I mean, Kashmir is practically my signature, followed closely by Bloodstone. So, what is their dragon's blood like? It's that perfect mixture of spicy and fruity. It's so, so well balanced. I don't really like it when a db note veers too much into either territory, leaving the other territory well behind. I want that combination, just a little spicy, just a little fruity, almost delicious. This is another workhorse. Alone, it's a beautifully resinous, juicy dragon's blood with a little kick of spice. It might be too dark alone if you're not into db, but layer this big boy - did Seth name this one well or WHAT? Layer Tyrannosaurus, and it becomes bright and lifted with the amber, and it's possibly even more beautiful than Bloodstone. Wait, what? Blasphemy. Okay, maybe not my bottle of aged, thick, glorious Bloodstone, but it's pretty amazing. Worn alone, T-Rex is a hint of the amber, and the two dragon's bloods. Layered, and he comes into his full glory, the amber comes out to really play, and that lovely supporting cacao becoes just a little bit evident, to give it a little more depth.

TL;DR: T-Rex is a big boy, and this perfume more than lives up to its name. I find it apropos that his scent is dragon's blood. Layered, he is just the right amount of resinous, spicy, juicy dragon's blood and glorious, fresh stony amber. Mmmm. Mm. It makes me hum with happiness.

Layering suggestions: Ember Vanilla, Ambre Ombre, Patchouli Ombre, Santalum, Ember, Black Raven, Mists of Arcacia, OP Anubis, OP Pakhet. From the LC, try it with Phantasm Kiss, Blood Moon, Egyptian Temple Oudh, Copal Oudh, or Pandora.

Utahraptor: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, hungry chomps of Kashmir and Black Musk Absolutes, Egyptian Musk and a drop of Crimson and Sri Lankan Black Peppercorn eo.

Oh, Utahraptor. I've listed this last, but not because I love it least. In fact, I adore it, and it's quite versatile - different layering options bring out different facets of this one. I'm sure I've made mention of the fact that I really, really love NAVA musks. Kashmir is probably one of my favorite perfumes. So naturally, I had to have this. Worn alone, this comes across as mostly Kashmir, with a breath of Black Musk underneath, and the amber lifts it up - it might seem like a heavy blend, but it's saved from that by the beautifully clean Egyptian Musk and ambers. Start playing with layering, and while Kashmir, a bold red musk, remains the star, Black Musk and Egyptian Musk come out to play a bit more vocally, and I love that little kick of spiciness in the background of peppercorn. I'm a big fan of pepper in perfumes - Music is a great example of this, I feel, and it's kind of a surprising note, I think that many people would envision it from a cooking spice standpoint, but it's a bit different when added as a component of perfume. It adds a little kick, and it's quite fun. If you've never had the experience, I highly recommend giving it a chance. Anyway, enough about pepper, it's a supporting note here, and gives this "egg" a bit of pizzazz when you hatch it with another perfume.

TL;DR: Kashmir, a bold red musk, is the star here but plays beautifully with the other two musks, Black and Egyptian, when layered. Don't be afraid of the pepper. Despite the musk heavy blend, it's not nearly as heavy as you might think, the ambers lift and brighten this perfectly, and it's quite fun with a variety of different types.

Layering suggestions: Crystalline, Tibetan Crystalline, Santalum White, Egyptian Musk, Ozymandias, Pharaoh Anniversary, OP Baba, OP Set. For LC options, I absolutely am nuts over hatching this with California Redwood Crystal Musk. Also, Underlord Akhenaten, Pyewacket Cat, Pumpkin #2, Copal Oudh, Enigma, and it's amazing with the Byzantium Amber from their 9th Anniversary perfumes.

Okay, whew! That was pretty extensive, I am sorry for the wall of text, but I do hope you'll find my "hatching" suggestions helpful. This really did provide me with the courage to really branch out and become a layering fiend, and now I will layer various perfumes in with my unscented hair oils too, and I get a lot of compliments about how amazing my hair smells. Tomorrow, I'll get the second half of this posted for you, with last year's additions. From the first year, I do not have Spinosaurus, Stegasaurus, or Styracosaurus. Feel free to offer up your own layering combinations with these amazing perfumes! I want to mention one more thing in closing, these are another collection that do even better with age, they become richer and seem to come into their own even more. Have a wonderful evening!

Editing to add a note, and a link to part two! I forgot to mention previously, is that these are lovely when you pair them together! And I've done this several times with different combinations. Pteranodon with Protoceratops or Deinonychus, Velociraptor with Utahraptor, Diplodocus with Giganotosaurus, Protoceratops with almost anything! Hah.

Another thing to mention, if you have eNVie Saphir, many of these are stunning when hatched with Saphir. Definitely worth experimenting with - I have Saphir, Ambre Saphir, and Encens Saphir, and they all do well with the Dinosaurs.

[auskultu]

Yardbird Jimmy Page says, 'Open Your Mind'

Hit Parader magazine: WHEN YOU were a session man, were you playing bass or lead guitar?

Jim: Lead guitar.

HP: Was it difficult to switch to bass when you joined the Yardbirds?

Jim: It was at first because I tended to play it like a guitar. With the bass you just play a sort of root thing. I was just leaping around all over the place with great speed and I had to stop doing that. I managed to simplify it. But at first I was playing far too quickly.

HP: I read somewhere that you were going to play lead soon?

Jim: I already have because Jeff was taken ill. Chris took over bass.

HP: Who were some of the other people you have accompanied?

Jim: Them, the Kinks, Georgie Fame, I did some stuff for the Rolling Stones. Actually, we just did a lot of things for fun for Andrew Oldham. In fact, it really was good fun. But I've never been on any of their records. I was on the Who stuff. Petula Clark, P.J. Proby. Nearly everybody who didn't have their own backup group.

HP: How would you describe your style of guitar playing?

Jim: My style has always been very similar to Jeff Beck's. We knew each other for about 9 years. We've always liked the same music and we had the same tastes. As a result, it's been quite easy to fill in for him. When we get the two lead guitars going, it should be pretty good. Because it'll be like two identical people playing together.

HP: What's your opinion of the Paul Butterfield Blues Band?

Jim: I haven't seen them live. But their album is pretty good. As a harp player, Butterfield is really great. He's better than anybody in England. Lots of people speak of Mike Bloomfield, but there are a lot of guys in England who play that stuff.

HP: Beck is an excellent guitarist, but why isn't more of his solo work heard on records?

Jim: How far can you go? We've been told our latest album is too far advanced. There's too much electronic stuff on it. But I think it's all basic. We cut a single with Jeff. It's a Bolero thing. It's very exciting and strange. It's either going to be a monster or a bomb. It's an instrumental based on the classical Bolero piece. Beck's guitar-playing is exploited quite a bit there. But how much can you do that the public will accept? You either make a commercial record or a musicians' record. You've got to draw the line somewhere.

HP: Are there some good blues bands in England?

Jim: There's one called John Mayall's Blues Breakers. Mayall himself is terrible. And then Eric Clapton is good, but he's in the Mike Bloomfield bag, and that's that. And there are lots of good guitarists in minor bands.

HP: Would you say blues is still a big rage in England?

Jim: No, not really. It's still got a market; it's the same thing as in America.

HP: Are you basically a blues guitarist?

Jim: Before the Indian thing was exploited, everyone said I played like an Indian. Mainly because I was interested in the music so many years back. I had the albums and I sent to India for a sitar. I had one long before George Harrison. I tried to learn the actual classical music. It's very difficult. There are so many sides to it. I tried to adapt that to my guitar playing.

HP: Why have musicians latched on to these Indian sounds?

Jim: Because it's so esoteric. Everybody thinks they understand. They get a new sound and they say this is it. But really, they don't know what's going on, I'm sure. I've heard people in groups playing sitars and they don't know what's going on. They don't even tune them up right. Apparently, George Harrison has become deeply interested in it. He plays a sitar on their new album and he was getting along very well. People like Brian Jones just got it for the one record and I doubt if they'll ever use it again.

HP: There are a lot of Indians living in London, aren't there?

Jim: Yes, there are quite a few. Strangely enough, when you speak to them of Indian music, they don't seem to know anything about it. The only thing they know is the western music or the Indian film music, which is completely different from the classical. When you ask them about it, they recommend you to the Asian society or something. I met Ravi Shankar and that's how I got my information on how to tune up the sitar.

HP: Will you be writing material for the Yardbirds now?

Jim: With them, not for them. When one of us has an idea, we all chip in on it until it's finished. I wasn't on the last two, but 'Shapes of Things' and 'Over, Under, Sideways, Down' were all made up in the studio.

HP: What kind of equipment do you use?

Jim: When Chris is on rhythm guitar, we use any old amplifier because it isn't that important, but on bass we have a big set-up with 2 or 3 speakers.

On this tour, we've been given Jordan equipment. It's all transistorized equipment. We're sort of experimenting with it. It hasn't worked out properly on the lead guitars. But it's been sufficient on the bass. On bass, we've got 6 speakers to 8 speakers. In England I've been using a Showman Fender amplifier. And a Fender concert amp which is a smaller one with 4 ten-inch speakers. I link them up together so I get double the power. Through one you get the bass frequencies and through the other I use feedback and the treble frequencies. This is about the best set-up I've had so far. But Jordan is working on some new equipment which should prove to be great. I play a Gibson Les Paul guitar, Chris has an Epiphone bass and there's another Gibson floating around. Eventually, it will be all Gibson because we bought them and never bothered to change them. They're quite adequate.

HP: How did you finally end up with the equipment you've got now?

Jim: We just worked on it. I've been playing guitar for a few years now and I just work on this certain line. You do as best you can. The only problem being we blow up quite a few amps. We did one show and I had 4 amplifiers all linked up. It must have been about 400 watts all together. Those were Vox amps. They just can't take the volume. The speakers blow and then you don't get any sound at all. The Jordan ones didn't blow up, but they don't have enough volume. I've never broken a guitar, but I've been through nearly every make. I've never found a guitar which is exactly what I want. At the moment, I'm happy with this Gibson. I've also got a Fender Telecaster. I find every guitar's got a sound of its own and you can use them all and get something out of them. I haven't used the Telecaster on stage yet. Actually, all my guitars are in England because I came over playing bass. I switched to Jeff's guitar. His is very close to mine because they're both Les Paul models. Normally, we all travel by plane and the equipment goes by van. We have two road managers, one for the equipment and one for us.

HP: Have you found a big difference in British youth and American youth?

Jim: The Americans are a little more narrow-minded. The English, at the moment, are completely broad-minded. This wasn't the original concept of the English, was it? You can shock people in America very easily. If people are shocked, that's their bad luck. They should open their minds. In England, you could walk around in the nude and you wouldn't shock anyone. They'd think you should be put away, but they wouldn't beat the guts out of you. Also, the age of consent is 16. You can marry at 16. The attitude over there is completely free, just like the attitude toward clothes.

HP: Are you really that concerned about how you look?

Jim: I'm not really concerned with clothes. People put that on my shoulders. In actual fact, I'm pleased to see people walking around in outrageous things. They're throwing off the chains of a society that was. It's probably making England completely decadent, but so what. Billy Graham was just over there in England and if you walked around with him, you'd have seen it look all pretty decadent. I'd have to agree. He didn't make any impact at all. Actually, it's a forecast of the end of society. But I don't care because I'll be dead before it ends. If we've come this far in five years, it should really be something in another five. I'd like the new society to be a peaceful one but it won't be, because violence seems to be the answer to every problem. Every fringe society must be experiencing this. We walk around with long hair and someone shouts something, so you give them an answer back which is a little sharp and which they don't quite expect. Then they can't give you an answer, so they come to fists. What sort of mentality is that? I can't argue with a person like that.

It must be terrible for someone to have to fight in a war. I haven't had to think about wars. It's just something I haven't had to contend with, really, I hadn't realized what a big problem it is. I've just seen the horrors of it.

HP: Well, England doesn't have any big thing going now.

Jim: No, this is it. We have no conscription whatsoever. I'll never be drafted or anything.

HP: They won't send you over to Africa to beat up some people or anything?

Jim: Well, they don't do this. People wouldn't do this. If they had a mass conscription now, I dread thinking how many people would go. Because it would only be 40% of those who would have gone before they dropped conscription. People don't want to know about it anymore. They think, well, why should I waste two years of my life and probably lose my life in the process. They just don't want to know anymore.

They've got a regular army where you join and you jet paid every week for doing it. And you just do maneuvers and things.

HP: They have that here, too!

Jim: Yeah, sure, but yours is more of a reality because they get drafted over to Viet Nam. Basically, I must be a coward, but I just couldn't shoot someone. I guess it's different if they're looking at you with a gun and you're looking at them with a gun. You'd have to do it, though. I'd just be violently sick afterwards. I'd never forgive myself, anyway. I'm not the sort of person who's the violent type. I've never never had a fight in my life. I've never put my fists up to anybody. I've never needed to. Only, as I say, through the long hair problem people have said things. But it's never developed. Even if you say come on then, they still won't do anything. Basically, they've still got no guts. But even if they did, I'd run a mile. It's funny because you think, well, what are they going to do, and they don't do anything. So they just wasted the whole time laughing at you. Perhaps they just laugh to reassure their own masculinity.

HP: Why do you think there's such a big concern with clothes?

Jim: I don't know. It's a projection of one's character, I suppose.

HP: Is Carnaby Street a real madhouse?

Jim: It's so easy to send that Carnaby Street thing up. It really is. It's really a street with lots and lots of clothing shops. It's quite a revelation if you've never seen anything like it before, and I'm sure nobody over here has. There's nothing like that. It's just teen-age fashions, bizarre styles. You go there on a Saturday and the kids are there spending money. This is all part of the game, I suppose. Yeah, they spend a fortune on clothes. I don't know where some of the young ones get it from. You see them walking around and they must have spent twice what they've earned.

HP: Do they have things like charge accounts over there?

Jim: No. Not on Carnaby Street, anyway. They won't take checks or anything, not from the kids. Not unless they know you. But there is a big leaning towards clothes and fashions. It's an extension of their character. People have become more aware of the fact that, if they dress up and they look really elegant, I'm not saying Carnaby Street, but if they've got a very clean-cut suit on and still look pretty hip with it and not just sort of middle class, it has the affect on a girl.

HP: What's the biggest thing you dislike about America?

Jim: You see, the only thing that I've seen is violence, but I've only been doing concerts. I don't get out to walk around and meet people very often. If I was walking around the street, I probably wouldn't see any violence whatsoever. So, it's difficult. You see, I haven't seen much of America on this tour. But, when I had my holidays before in Hollywood, I enjoyed it. I thought it was great.

HP: You spent your holiday in Los Angeles?

Jim: Before I joined the group, I spent my holidays for the last couple of years in Hollywood.

HP: What are some of the things you enjoyed in Hollywood?

Jim: The weather. The weather's pretty bad in England. I met quite a few people and made some good friends. I liked the Sunset Strip; there's quite a bit happening there. I got to see groups I could never see in England.

HP: If you had a choice, where would you like to live?

Jim: Miles away from anybody. That's what I'm going to do when I get back. I'm buying a house. It's about a half a mile from anybody else. It's got a river, five bedrooms. That's for when the group slows down a bit. But we'll be working hard for the next year. There's so many things I'd like to do that I don't have the time for now. Things which are very important to me, like painting. But it's best to work now and make all the money I can.

HP: What kind of books do you like to read?

Jim: I used to study religion when I was in art school. But I stopped.

HP: Was that how you got interested in Indian music?

Jim: It may have been subconsciously. But I didn't just read about it and then go onto it. At the moment, I read sort of very strange things like I, Jan Cramer. Things which are a social comment. This Cramer is a beat painter in Holland. I like Henry Miller, too.

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: Where have you gone? Fraze: Don't Bea: I want to know Bea: I give a shit Fraze: Tell me you were as in the dark as I am, that's what I wanna know Bea: No Fraze: There's fuck all else to say then Bea: Come on, you don't understand Bea: If I'd ever have known that he'd show up like that, like she would Fraze: Nah, I don't understand Fraze: Least of all why you'd let me go in blind, I'd never do that to you Bea: As if I knew they would come and do that Fraze: You knew what they were doing though Bea: I tried not to think about it but yeah Bea: and there was no point saying it to any of you because she never wanted to see any of you and Joe was carrying on coming and doing his part Fraze: Like I said, fuck you, I've got nothing else worth saying to you Bea: Really Fraze: If you want a pat on the back for stabbing me in mine, you'll be waiting longer than we've both got Bea: You're not being fair Bea: He was sick before he left Bea: he kept coming back sicker, and that's my responsibility to force the conversation none of you want to have? Fraze: I'm not being fair, you knew he was with her and you didn't say a goddamn word about it Fraze: No fucking wonder he kept coming back sicker Bea: So you could do what, exactly? Bea: It's disgusting but you're aware that you can't stop him Bea: talk him out of it, like he's not thought it through Bea: as far as I was concerned he'd do what he had to and she'd stay away, it's that simple Fraze: That's between me and him, what's between me and you is a secret that you decided to keep from me Fraze: Enjoy your easy life off the back of that, did you? Bea: Pardon me for not wanting to be the one to push the button Bea: it was for your benefit, all of you Bea: that should be fucking apparent Fraze: It's apparent that it was for your own fucking benefit Fraze: I'm not thick, I know why you had the inside scoop in the first place Bea: Like I've hidden that I'm friends with Bronson, and that he's friends with her, and I met them through staying with Joe? Bea: the dots were connected, it's not a fucking conspiracy Fraze: Like you've not hidden what you get up to when you're with any of 'em Fraze: That there's a conversation that you don't wanna have Bea: You want to check my arms for track marks, yeah? Fraze: I don't want or need to Fraze: It ain't likely to be your drug of choice Bea: And you've never touched any Bea: Jesus Christ Fraze: Yeah, go on, turn it back around Bea: What's your point, then? Bea: What do you think you're saying here? Fraze: I'm saying I can't fucking trust you so what's the fucking point? Bea: Then don't Fraze: You're meant to be on my side Bea: Because I'm on theirs Bea: because anyone could be Fraze: The only person you protected is him Fraze: So yeah Bea: From what? Bea: He wanted this Bea: it was for you lot but I'm not going to repeat myself Bea: if you don't believe me then there is no point Fraze: Cheers, we're all proper feeling the benefit of that, like Fraze: Jesus Bea: You're welcome Bea: it could've happened three years ago Fraze: You could've told me then Fraze: A single word of warning isn't fuck all to ask, it shouldn't be Bea: Oh right, you put that into a single word Bea: casual text Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: It didn't have to go like that, in front of a pub full of regulars Fraze: My little brother Bea: I'm fully fucking aware Bea: what you don't seem to be getting is I had no power to stop them if that was their plan, which it clearly was Fraze: We could've had 3 fucking years to make our own plan before this Bea: It's not fucking about you Bea: tell me Tess would have done anything different Bea: ambush her before she could come here Fraze: I'll never know what she'd have done 'cause she didn't have the option Bea: Piss off Bea: I know, and so do you Fraze: I know it couldn't have gone any fucking worse than that Bea: No shit Bea: no one is disputing that, I'm disputing you putting blame on me like I organised it Fraze: Why didn't you tell me? Fraze: For Christ's sake Bea: I've told you why Bea: if this didn't have to happen, it weren't going to Fraze: And you're alright with that, yeah? Lying to me for fucking ever Bea: If it needs to be done Bea: of course Fraze: Well I ain't Fraze: If I don't have you, I don't have anything Bea: You're the one pushing me away right now Fraze: You did it first Fraze: Don't act like it was my choice Bea: We agreed Fraze: Nah, I gave you what you wanted Bea: You got your best offer here, it made no sense to go to Cambridge Fraze: I ain't gonna repeat myself either Bea: Well exactly, how many times can we have this conversation Fraze: I'm done talking Fraze: Forget it Bea: You're being immature Fraze: And you're being cold Fraze: So what? Bea: The last thing your parents need is you doing something stupid right now Fraze: At least I'd give 'em a problem they can solve Fraze: Mop up the blood, get the first aid kit out Bea: For God's sake Bea: you're needed here Fraze: Not like this, I ain't Bea: You need to sort yourself out Fraze: That's well rich coming from you, babe Fraze: But cheers Bea: Yeah, go on, turn it back around Bea: I'm here doing cleanup Bea: where the hell are you? Fraze: Fuck off back to Cambs then Fraze: I'll still be here when you do Bea: I don't get to be part of this family 'cos I'm not here full-time? Bea: Alright, if that makes you feel better about what you aren't doing right now Fraze: Any cunt can sweep up some glass, in a week when my ma still needs picking up off the fucking floor that'll be my da and me Fraze: So don't fucking start Bea: So you get a break today Bea: everyone else is doing something Bea: grow the fuck up Fraze: Yeah, this is a right holiday I'm having Fraze: I told you, I'm no use like this Fraze: Give me a fucking second Bea: No one else has had one, and I'm not going to sit here and have you talk down to me like you're so high and mighty when you're acting like this Fraze: Like what? Like everything's fucked yet again Fraze: No break is right Bea: This isn't productive Bea: you aren't fixing anything, just focusing on what you can't Fraze: There's no fixing this Fraze: And I don't know how to be productive right now, look down on me for it all you like Bea: Why would I? Bea: I'm not going to mope Fraze: I'm not sad, I'm angry Bea: Yeah Bea: so use it Fraze: How? Bea: If you aren't going to come here and clean up, then think what else your mum actually needs right now Bea: Ali and Carly have Rocky Fraze: Alright Bea: okay then Bea: I'm going to tell Ro Fraze: Have fun with that, like Fraze: Where the fuck was she anyway? Bea: At home, assumedly Bea: she has nothing else to be doing Fraze: Do you want me to do it? Bea: Do you want to? Fraze: I'll do it so you don't have to Bea: You haven't had enough of cold bitches for one day Fraze: Obviously not Bea: Your choice Fraze: Yeah Bea: Bye then Fraze: Your choice Bea: So you keep claiming Fraze: 'Cause it is Fraze: And it's the least I can offer you Bea: It's a convenient way for you to take no responsibility for the choices you made Fraze: There's fuck all convenient about it Bea: Then you shouldn't have done it Fraze: Not being smart enough for Cambridge wasn't a choice Fraze: But you're right, I shouldn't have let you leave without me Bea: It's done now Fraze: Then I'll undo it Bea: How? Fraze: By going with you this time Bea: You can't, you've got to finish Fraze: I don't care, you know I don't Bea: You're halfway, it would be a waste Fraze: It already has been, you just said I shouldn't have done it Bea: I'm not going to go from being blamed that you stayed to being blamed that you left, didn't finish Bea: it isn't fair Fraze: Come on Fraze: I can take responsibility for that much Fraze: Even if you reckon I am immature enough to be spoken to like my kid brother Bea: This isn't a plan, this is what we were avoiding in the first place Bea: what would you do Fraze: Not yet, but it can be Fraze: Red mist can't blind me indefinitely and then I'll make a proper plan Bea: It makes sense, that you don't want to be here anymore Bea: but I can't be the backup plan Fraze: Don't Fraze: You know that's not why Bea: I know today has been an emotional day Bea: and you're right, you're in no position to be making any sort of decision this big Fraze: Yeah it's reminded me that everything can get fucked over in a second, but that ain't nothing I didn't already know Bea: We're fine, aren't we? Fraze: Are we? Fraze: You didn't look fine to me Fraze: And that ain't even close to how I feel Bea: I'm just tired Bea: really tired Fraze: I know, babe Bea: I can't focus on much more Bea: there's no space or time for it Fraze: I'll come back, after I've had a word to your sister Bea: watch her struggle to pretend to give a shit Fraze: Listen to me, I know we're never safe and you can't save anyone but I'll throw my body in the way of yours every single time to minimise the damage Fraze: I love you and I won't ever stop loving you whatever else happens Fraze: That's my decision and I made it ages ago Bea: I miss you so much I hate it Fraze: I'm gonna fix that Fraze: You have to go back but it won't be without me, even though I can't actually come yet Fraze: We're not doing this bullshit any more Bea: I don't know if I know how to stop Fraze: I can stop you Bea: you think I'm a mess now Fraze: I think we need each other Bea: I'm sorry Fraze: I'm sorrier Bea: you don't need to be Fraze: Yeah I do Fraze: For loads of shit I've said and done going back further than just today Fraze: I don't blame you and I'm not angry at you Fraze: It's my own fucking fault Bea: It's his Fraze: I turned my back on him, years before any of this Fraze: He needed me and I didn't do shit for him Bea: That's bullshit Bea: it's not as if he couldn't have come to any of us and got help, at any time Bea: it's like my sister, he doesn't want it Bea: alright, it's a sickness and it's not his fault, but that doesn't make it everyone else's by default Fraze: The fact is though, he would never have come to me Fraze: That's my fault Bea: a relationship is down to both people Bea: you both stopped trying Fraze: I did first Bea: You were a kid Fraze: So was he, age wise there's fuck all in it Bea: exactly, you should both grow up Bea: you didn't show up today and do, that Fraze: We both know I could Fraze: I've got it in me Bea: Well, we're not related so Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: I saw so much of myself in her Bea: You can see yourself in anyone if you look for it Fraze: Yeah Bea: you lean towards unfavourable comparisons because it feeds into your confirmation bias Bea: there's as much of you in Ali or Tommy or Rocky but that doesn't feed into what you think about yourself Fraze: You've got your own bias about me, babe Bea: You come from 50% of the same DNA, that's all Fraze: Tell me about her Bea: What's to say Bea: that wasn't screamed Fraze: I don't know Bea: I don't know what you want me to say Fraze: Me either Bea: There's no redemption arc or tragic backstory that makes that go away Fraze: 'Course not Bea: they're junkies and they're fucked up Fraze: Obviously Bea: Hoping for anything more from her is pointless Bea: it'll never be more than that Bea: I told your mum Fraze: Yeah Bea: be best if you all do your best to forget about her Fraze: Easier said than done for the rest of 'em but I already have Bea: They'll survive Fraze: Always do Bea: Exactly Fraze: I want more than that Bea: I know Bea: me too Fraze: Marry me, we can do it right Bea: We don't need to get married to do that Fraze: If it doesn't matter then there's nothing stopping you from saying yes Bea: Um there's plenty Fraze: Name one Bea: Okay, I told you I have no time or space left in my brain, how do you think a wedding is just going to happen Fraze: I ain't even stolen you a ring yet like I promised, calm down Bea: Then name one reason we need to be engaged right now Fraze: Say that you will when the time's right Bea: You know I love you, idiot Fraze: So say it Bea: Come back and I might Fraze: You know I'll hold you to that maybe, Red Bea: Never hold up on any official paperwork Fraze: I'll take what I can get Bea: 😏 Fraze: I didn't get a chance to say I've missed you before everything kicked off Bea: Yeah, struggling to remember anything before now so Bea: let you off, like Fraze: I'll help you remember if we ever get to the after Bea: Yeah? Fraze: Yeah Bea: We don't have to wait for everything to be perfect do we Bea: because you look really good Fraze: You're perfect now and I'm sick of waiting Bea: Fraze Fraze: Bea Bea: we can fix this Fraze: I can fix us, that's all I've got space in my head for right now Bea: I won't lose you Fraze: I'd rather die Bea: Don't Fraze: Don't let me Bea: Can we be alone for five minutes Bea: I know it's selfish and against everything I said but Fraze: You've earned a smoke break by now Fraze: Even Saints have got their vices Bea: Hardly Fraze: Well I have, talking to your fucking sister Fraze: And I've earned some decent company Bea: You seriously didn't need to prove yourself that hard Fraze: It wasn't about me Bea: Still Bea: she's only gotten worse since I left Fraze: I know, we're still technically under the same roof Bea: Ali needs to be single again, give her some attention Fraze: That ain't happening Bea: it has been forever, as far as her record goes Fraze: They put me off my food as well, to be fair Bea: you're terrible Fraze: Yeah, we covered that ground earlier on, like Bea: Shh Bea: I was trying to help Fraze: You did Fraze: I only ain't gonna admit it when my pride's all I've got Bea: I know Bea: that was rough Bea: at least Ali has never cared what people say and Tommy doesn't go here 'cos school will be rough Bea: rougher Fraze: Your sister's never had an easy go of that Bea: I don't doubt she'll distance herself more than she does as is Fraze: The fact that she didn't show up today proves she don't wanna be part of things regardless Bea: Nothing we didn't already know either Fraze: Exactly Fraze: It's the kid we've gotta watch, he barely fucking knows Joe anyway Bea: I need to try harder Bea: or it's the same story, I only went a year after, like Fraze: You come back Bea: Yeah, I know Fraze: He's such a cunt, we said it'd be different for them Fraze: He said it Bea: No doubt he meant it at the time Fraze: It ain't enough meaning it when he said it to me Fraze: Not now he's the scary fucker at the door Bea: I don't know how he does it Bea: keeps going to uni, and stuff Fraze: His OCD prescription weren't lemon sherbets, like Fraze: But I don't know Bea: I've not seen him like that level though Bea: Seriously Bea: I know he avoids me when they've really been on one but that wasn't what it's like when I see her on it or anyone else Fraze: Maybe he'll drop out of uni now, beat me to the punch and soften the blow at the same time Fraze: Christ knows what they were on or can get around here Bea: There are universities in Cambridge that aren't Cambridge, you know Bea: if you're serious Fraze: I don't think uni is for me Bea: No? Fraze: It feels like a waste of time Fraze: At risk of repeating myself 'cause I reckon we've had this conversation before Bea: Yeah Bea: well, it isn't the only option Bea: or the end of the world, in the grand scheme of things Bea: at least yours was free Bea: no debt Fraze: Can we talk about when it feels less like the world was trying to end itself Bea: Of course Fraze: I need a clearer head than this to figure all that shit out Bea: That's fair Fraze: I am serious though Bea: this year? Fraze: Soon as I have a backup plan, 'cause you're not it Bea: Alright, if it is this year, my housemates shouldn't mind Bea: they're alright Fraze: It will be, I've been doing loads of thinking for ages, but I need to turn that into something solid Bea: Tell me about it some more when the world isn't ending, yeah Fraze: 'Course Fraze: For now you get your 5 minutes, yeah? Bea: What took you so long? Fraze: I was thinking about what would happen if we made it 10 Bea: I can help you remember Fraze: Sounds like a plan